"Of course," Rarity growled. Skid, scrape, scuffle. "This is the rule the whole universe operates on, isn't it?" Skid, skitter, skid. "When in doubt, humiliate the fabulous one!"

The Princess of Generosity was in anything but a fine mood. Without warning, her alicorn magic had literally yanked her off the deck of her own airship and was even now dragging her headfirst down the (thankfully) broad avenue through the center of Neigh Orleans. Thank Providence that she hadn't plunged into the lake. As it was her flailing flight over the rail had left her a disheveled mess. She looked, she imagined, like someone had taken a Princess Pony doll and rammed her backwards into her own gown.

Despite her best efforts she was skidding on her hooves through the city at a distressing rate of speed; her silver hoofshoes looked absolutely smashing but they could never be said to be made for traction. The stares she was getting from the sidewalk cafes as she slid past were simply mortifying. "Good day, bonjour, Princess duties, just passing through, haha--"

She heard tiny hoofbeats behind her. Out of nowhere Sweetiebelle came running up alongside her. "Sweetiebelle! How did you get down from the ship so quickly?"

"Feather Fall spell," Sweetie said. She wasn't even panting; my goodness all that running around with Scootaloo was doing wonders for her.... "I asked Princess Twilight to teach it to me the minute I learned we were going on an airship. Is this what I think it is?"

"Yes, darling, it appears I'm reliving my cutie mark story," Rarity said, stumbling a bit as she jumped over a curb and resumed sliding. "Though I don't think I'm going to be finding any jewels at the end of this... eep!" she stumbled on a loose cobblestone, nearly losing her footing.

"Thought so. Hold on, Rarity!" Sweetiebelle ran on ahead. Rarity, with her head down from being dragged by her horn, couldn't see where she'd gone. There was a smash of breaking glass up ahead, somepony shouting angrily, Sweetie saying something, and then she was galloping alongside again. "Okay, great-- lift your right front hoof!"

Baffled, Rarity obeyed. Sweetie slapped something on the bottom of her raised foot, and ran around the other side. "Now left front!" The action was repeated. "Back left! Back right!" The little unicorn fell in alongside her again. "There, that oughta do it," she said in satisfaction. It was then that Rarity realized she was no longer skidding, but rather rolling. Quite smoothly too.

"Roller skates?" She yelped. "Wait, where did you get these??"

"I had to bust out a store window and grab them," Sweetie panted. "Don't worry, I threw in some money--"

"Sweetie!" Rarity said, scandalized.

"What, did you want to have your hooves dragged off?" Sweetie said scornfully.

"Fair enough darling but I hope you'll notice that I'm starting to accelerate!" She was; the frazzled fashionista, freed from fickle friction, was slowly beginning to pull away from the furiously galloping little filly.

"Don't worry, Rarity-- your pegasus guards went on ahead of you!"

"What are they doing?"

"Clearing a path," Sweetiebelle shouted. "Call it a hunch but I don't think you're going to be turning any corners---!"

Sweetiebelle fell away. Rarity was now going at a terrific clip, passing carriages both magical and non as if they were standing still. She was on a straightaway at the moment, but she recalled with a thrill of terror that Neigh Orleans was notorious for its impossibly crooked little streets, and oh heavens, the road ahead took a sharp right turn, she was going to plow right into that restaurant--

And there were two of the pegasus mares from her radiant guard, one kicking open the double doors and one-shotting the protesting maitre' d while the other ran inside. Rarity rolled through the front door, knees locked, and rocketed through the dining room and past several upturned tables-- "So terribly sorry everyone!"--- and here came the swinging doors to the kitchen, cutlery and poufy hats everywhere, aiee, the stoves! And there was the second guardmare catching her hoof and flipping her in a somersault right over the sous chef's head and out the back door, and she was barreling down a back alleyway and back out onto the street, oh Celestia, Luna, Cadence, and Discord, ramping up a vendors cart, and a voice behind her shouting about cabbages as she landed back on the pavement, all sixteen little wheels whirring, and she was clear!

Let's see Scootaloo do that, the fashionista thought madly to herself. "Oh Maker, not road construction!" she shrieked. But there her guards were again--- two unicorn gents, sharp as if they'd stepped off the cover of EQ in their Rarity Exclusive suits and carefully groomed hair, teleporting in ahead of her and rapidly assembling something out of the boards and loose construction materials lying about, finishing the enormous ramp a split second before her rollerskated hooves hit the front edge. "Spread your wings, your Majesty!" One shouted as she hurtled past.

Feeling like a dunce, why hadn't she thought to take to the air in the first place? Rarity obeyed. Or tried to; her frazzled wings were still tangled in her drape. She soared off the end of the ramp with something less than the grace of an eagle, flapping madly. Despite everything she caught some air, but her frantically flapping wings were in no condition for flight. She only barely cleared the rooftop of the building beyond, her skates clattering on the shingles, and then she was plunking down on the road beyond....

Then she was crossing an open field. It looked to be a bowling lawn; several ponies were in the midst of playing, what was it called, bocce? They paused, mouths agape, as one of the crown Princesses rollerskated through the middle of their game, leaving skate-wheeled furrows in the carefully groomed grass. "Playing through," Rarity yodeled as she hurtled past.

For a brief second she dared to feel relief. She was apparently beyond the city limits now, and was no longer in danger of plowing headfirst into a brick wall or something equally unyielding. Perhaps the worst was behind her.

Then she looked ahead and remembered precisely what began where the city of Neigh Orleans ended.  "No. No! NOOOOOOO!!" she wailed, trying to side-brake with all four skates.

It was no use. She was dragged at full speed, kicking and screaming, straight into the muddy embrace of the Neigh Orleans swamp.

Mere moments later, Sweetiebelle and a good half dozen of the Radiant Guard galloped up to the edge of the swamp, panting and flecked with sweat. "Oh no!" Sweetiebelle wailed. The muddy wake of Rarity's passing still rolled. In the distance could be heard the echoes of screams, wails of dismay and some incredibly unladylike cursing as Princess Rarity was introduced to the flora and fauna and other charms of the bayou, up close and personal.

Marigold shook the sweat from her wings and turned to the others. "Anypony with wings, after her. Jade, get word back to the ship. Dapper Blue, get a swamp boat and a guide and follow after us. We have to get to her Highness before she runs into a gator or a cottonmouth nest or something even more unpleasant."

"Isn't she immortal?" Dapper Blue dared to say. "She's an alicorn, nothing much should be able to seriously hurt her--"

"I'm not worried about something happening to her as much as I am about her happening to somepony else.," Marigold said. "Didn't you read the reports on what happened when Princess Sparkle panicked at her school entrance exam as a filly? The way her Highness reacts to anything dirty, muddy, or slimy..."

"We may find ourselves giving a fascinating and culturally significant name to the crater she leaves behind," Dapper Blue finished, wincing. "Got it."

"Hang on, Rarity," Sweetiebelle shouted into the swamp unhappily. "We're coming to save you!"

Catching up was easier said than done. The Bayou was big, and deep, and roofed over with thousand-year-old treetops that turned the sunlight into a dim green memory. By boat, hoof or wing, delving into it was a slow process.

Or at least it was when one was not a magically propelled alicorn. Rarity was all but waterskiing through the swamp, muddy water ostrich-pluming behind her. She had no idea how she was managing to avoid all the gnarled trees and fallen logs blocking her way. Her runaway seeking spell was, at least, allowing her enough leeway to dodge over, under, and around any obstacles in her immediate path, before dragging her back on the hurtling course she'd taken.

It wasn't however, merciful enough to allow her to escape unscathed. Her royal dress was in muddy tatters. Her hoof-saving roller skates and the hoofshoes beneath them were long gone, as were her tiara, torc and one of her earrings. She was drenched, splattered with mud, festooned with moss, covered with pond scum... she wasn't merely filthy, she was layered. One could probably have deduced the course she took through the bayou by examining the strata of filth caked on her body. Her hooves had made regrettable impact several times with things that she didn't care to examine very closely, but which could only be classified as squishy, unlucky, and had gone "Squack!" when you stepped on them.

And she was absolutely, totally certain that she had swallowed a bug.

The terrain hadn't been entirely submerged, of course, alternating between muddy hillocks and semi-solid paths and pools of varying size and content (some of said content being alive.) She was plowing her sputtering way across the surface of yet another brackish pool when the spell entrapping her horn finally gave out. She sloshed to a halt in the dead center and sank to the bottom.

After a moment of frantic thrashing and splashing she discovered, to her semi-relief, that the water only came up to her withers. She stood up, her hooves sinking slightly into the horrible, horrible mud, spat out a frog she'd scooped up accidentally at the last pool, and began struggling not to spiral into hyperventilating hysterics. She couldn't lose it now. She couldn't. The spell had brought her to what she was looking for, she knew it. She parted her sodden, filthy mane with her hooves and looked around.

Nothing. Absolutely nothing. None of the little heart-shaped plants that the pictures had shown in the books. Just some moss, a green layer of pond scum, and a few cattails. That and a lot of mud. "That's it?" Rarity screeched. "A muddy hole? A swamp puddle? That's what you brought me here for, you stupid spell?"

Then the alligator surfaced behind her.

Rarity spun around so quickly the gator never saw her move. One minute he was sliding through the water towards her, the next she was literally nose-to-nose with him. "Take your best shot, lizard," she hissed. Her voice echoed eerily and her eyes glowed in her mud-caked face with an absolutely unholy light. "I'll make a matching handbag and shoe set out of your still living skin and stitch your writhing soul to the lining."

The gator turned round, exited the pool(1) and proceeded to set a land-speed record for reptiles across the swamp.

"Coee," a childlike voice said. "I neber seen no caiman haul tail like dat, befo." Rarity yipped and turned about. A gangly unicorn filly was standing on the shore, staring at Rarity with wide-eyed wonder.  

It was only Rarity's already-stunned state that kept her from going into shock at the filly's. The child was maybe a year older than Sweetiebelle, and well into that gawky, gangly stage... gawky and gangly enough that she could have passed as a more feminine Snails, back in Ponyville.  She was muddy brown, and had an absolute thatch of a mane and tail that was as green as spanish moss. She had vivid green eyes as well, and a smattering of freckles across her nose and cheeks. Her hooves were chipped and muddy; her horn was dull and long overdue for a proper buffing, and not all the muddy brown of her coat was her own. She wore a faded, stained flour-sack dress that was at least two sizes too small; it left her haunches exposed clear up to her cutie mark-- which appeared to be a lizard or salamander of some sort-- and had two panniers made from woven baskets. She was gawky and rustic and full of knock-kneed charm and every inch of her appearance just screamed of casual neglect. She gave Rarity a gap-toothed grin.

Despite her own predicament there was a part of Rarity's spirit that was already running frantically back for a comb and curry brush and hooficure kit with which to pounce upon the child. "Um, hello dear," she said, trying to maintain her composure (what tiny glimmering spark was left of it, anyway.) "Who might you be?"

"Ah'm Mudpuppy," the filly said. "Who're you?"

Rarity cleared her throat. "I am Princess Rarity, Element of Generosity," she said grandly.

Mudpuppy squinted at her. "Psha. My Eye! Go t' bed, Lady," she said.

Rarity blinked. "I beg your pardon?"

Mudpuppy rolled her eyes. "City, fo sho," she muttered. "Y'wan git outta the water, Lady? You skeered dat gator sho nuf, but I dunno ifn the water moccasins gonna be dat respectful." She giggled. She set down her panniers, scooted down the bank and held out her hoof.

"Oh, yes. Quite," Rarity waded to the edge of the pond, swamp water drizzling off her. "Cooee," Mudpuppy said, eyeing the ragged remains of Rarity's dress. "Maybe you no lyin' at me after all. That dress sure be quality-- least'n it was, I mean..."

"Thank you for noticing," Rarity said. "I promise you, I'm telling you the truth, dear." She took the proffered hoof. The unicorn filly was surprisingly strong; she pulled Rarity free from the muck with ease. Rarity staggered up onto dry, or at least solid ground, with a lurch. Mudpuppy overcompensated and staggered backwards, nearly tumbling off the other side of the grassy ridge into the marshwater on the other side. At the last second her wings flared from under her dress, flapping and catching her balance.

Rarity froze, stunned. Mudpuppy's eyes went wide. She hastily tucked her wings back in the slits down the sides of her dress, flushing, her ears laid back. "You din't see nuthin," she muttered.

Rarity tried to speak. "Mudpuppy... I..."

"You din't see nuthin," Mudpuppy repeated. Louder, this time. She gave Rarity a glare, half defiant, half pleading. Rarity closed her mouth,  thoughts buzzing. She nodded carefully.

"I saw nothing."

She watched as the filly, the alicorn filly,  turned away and levitated her grass-basket panniers back in place. Rarity hastily cast the detection spell while her back was turned. Yes, it was true.."Excuse me, dear. Is there some place around here I can clean up?" Rarity asked cautiously.

"My Mamere an' I live nearby," Mudpuppy said cheerfully, her upset seemingly forgotten. "We gots a tub you kin wash up in..."

"Well then, by all means lead the way," Rarity said with what she hoped was a winning smile. Mudpuppy gave her a gaptoothed grin and started striding her knock-kneed way through the swamp. Carefully keeping her teeming questions under her tongue and her own, still-unseen wings hidden under the remains of her dress, Rarity quietly followed.

1)After leaving it even less fit for drinking than he found it. Next Chapter: Chapter 23 Estimated time remaining: 3 Hours, 33 Minutes