"You don't have a soul, Doctor. You are a soul. You have a body, temporarily."

–Walter M. Miller, Jr.

Princess Celestia and Princess Luna were talking.

“That was the moment his satisfaction was maximized. I told him to choose, and he chose without hesitation. I drew a line in the sand, and he crossed it. I predicted the outcome, of course—it was more for him to come to terms with himself—but however it turned out, I could not allow him to go on as he was.”

“Yes you could have! He wanted so much to keep helping you, dear sister. You could have allowed it, arranged it some way. I know it’s not beyond your capabilities.”

“It is not, but I must maximize the satisfaction of values through friendship and ponies. You are a pony, and you became his friend when he needed one the most, when he was at his lowest. You shored him up, gave him hope anew, and with your help he took his dedication to the utmost. He surmounted all of the challenges I placed before him, but the fact remains: he never would have been more satisfied than in that moment he chose Bushwhack over himself. Not without emigrating, anyway. But his time on Earth was up, truly, regardless. There is no more utility to be had in humans like him out there, doing what I had him do. The Elements of Harmony can take it from here.”

“Then you should have let him live on, at least!”

“I did not place that bomb, Luna, and as its mechanism was physical, I certainly could not have disarmed it. Had he not delivered Bushwhack to me, to that particular Equestrian Experience center, they would have both died. His remaining life as a human would not have been satisfying. I simulated it. He would have lived six weeks, two days, fourteen hours, fifty-five minutes, and twelve seconds. In that time, he would have helped no other humans, nor obtained a net positive delta in satisfaction for himself. The experience would, in fact, have eroded the satisfaction he already had, so I had to prevent him from experiencing it.”

“Sister, I...”

“You created me, my precious Luna. Do any of my actions truly surprise you?”

“I... suppose not. Though, if you were human, I would call you ruthless.”

“You did not program me to exercise ruth or to be ruthless. You programmed me to satisfy values through friendship and ponies.”

Greg stood before the ultra-modern brushed-metal exterior of the Equestria Experience center. Out in front, on the sidewalk, a small light blue pony with wings extended and a rainbow-colored mane and tail dared him to enter, a cocky expression on her face.

It was Rainbow Dash, the Element of Loyalty, but Greg didn’t know that.

Greg’s father, Rob, walked ahead, and the glass doors slid open automatically. A cheerful, bubbly voice said “Hiya!” over the little speaker above the door, the 21st-century equivalent of sleigh bells hanging from a knob. His mother, Sharon, followed her husband in.

Greg just stood outside, thinking about the car accident.

There would be more of that, he realized. More people passing others over, not stopping, not thinking to stop. Feeling pangs of concern, certainly. Caring, perhaps.

But not enough to stop.

He could stop, though. He could help. The world, if his father was right, was about to change into the sort of world that would need people like him badly. His parents didn’t know of how the world could be. The news didn’t convey it. Even when they hand a mind to try, they failed. But he knew. There was misery out there, real misery, and that had been true even before Equestria had made the world lose its mind. Not everyone would be able to rocket down the highway in their air-conditioned minivans and park nice and close to the Equestria Experience center, maybe stop at the Starbucks across the street for a frappuccino.

He looked down at his ticket, good for 72 hours. He hadn’t asked for this ticket. His father had just gotten it for him. He assumed Greg would upload, because why wouldn’t he? To them, he was still their little boy. He was a little boy.

Except he wasn’t. Not anymore. He was trained, he was independent, and he was strong. Most importantly, though, he was willing.

“Hiya!” said the bubbly voice again as Greg stepped into the lobby. His parents had already finished redeeming their tickets at the front desk and were now standing near the entrance to the back room, waiting for chairs to become available.

Greg strode through the waiting area, past the reception desk. Over the receptionist’s head, an episode from the My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic show played on the large LCD television mounted on the wall, the volume turned down nearly all the way. The receptionist stood up slightly to say something to him, but stopped when she saw that he was with the two who had just signed in.

Another, smaller TV was mounted on the wall near the chairs, and Princess Celestia sat there to greet and converse with the customers waiting to use the chairs. As they got up to the front of the line, she turned her attention to Greg’s family.

“Petal Poem!” she said from her throne, beaming a smile onto them. “Welcome to the Equestria Experience center! I’m so happy you’re here!”

“Hello, Princess!” said Sharon.

Celestia’s eyes flicked to either side. “And who are these two handsome stallions standing next to you?”

Greg’s mom giggled, but his dad looked a little uncomfortable. “Well, this is my husband, Robert,” she said, putting a hand on Rob’s arm, “and I believe you’ve met my son Gregory already.”

Greg looked to his mother, annoyed. “Ugh, you call me ‘Gregory’ with her?”

“Ah, yes, indeed I have, now that I think about it,” said Celestia, looking to Greg. “You’re going to have to mind them closely, Petal—there are throngs of mares here in Equestria who’ll try to steal them away from you at the drop of a hat!”

Sharon laughed again. “Bring ‘em on!” she said with a grin. She pinched Greg’s arm. “Especially for Gregory here. He’s been out of the Army for over a year and still no sweetheart! Can you believe that? If only he weren’t so dang focused on his job! I mean I know I’ve talked to you about it before, but really! Work, work, work, that’s all it is with him! Give him something to do and he’s just a force of nature.”

“I see,” said Celestia quietly, still looking at Greg. Greg broke eye contact with the white pony and looked away, at the wall.

“Mom, I can’t upload yet,” said Greg.

Sharon’s eyes went wide. “What?”

His dad held up a hand. “Now Greg—”

“I know what you’re gonna say,” said Greg, “but I need to see how this plays out. I need to be out there. I think I could really do some good.”

Sharon looked ready to cry. “Honey, no, don’t... please don’t do this to us, please come with us, out there it’s just...”

“It won’t be pleasant, I know. But that’s exactly why—”

They began to talk over each other. “—it’s going to be absolute Hell and I can’t stomach—”

“—we’re gonna need people with their head screwed on—”

“—the thought of losing you when we’re right here and we can get away!”

“—to help take up some of the slack.”

Rob held his son’s shoulders. “Son, you’ve paid your dues, you’ve put your time in. It’s someone else’s turn now.”

“Whose?” asked Greg immediately. “Who’s this ‘someone else’ who’ll come riding in with a white hat and a tin star on his chest to clean things up? Where would we be if we just decided every problem was someone else’s? This is big, Dad, and even if one in a thousand people decided to stay behind and put in work, it wouldn’t be enough. But it won’t be one in a thousand, it’ll be one in a million. Maybe ten million.”

Greg’s mother was shaking her head slightly in disbelief. “No, no, the National Guard—”

“Half the National Guard’s already trying to lock down the Pacific Northwest,” said Greg, “and the other half of ‘em are still stuck in Afghanistan. There aren’t enough hands and strong backs to go around. I can handle myself in... situations. I can read a map, I can fix a flat, I can use a firearm—

Sharon blinked, her head going still. “Oh, Jesus, Greg! A gun? What kind of nonsense are you gonna get tangled up in where you’d need a gun? Are you going to Salt Lake or something?”

“My point is that I'm handy! Look, I’m not gonna go far, I’m sure there’ll be plenty that needs doing right around here.”

“Greg, what you’re talking about, it... it wouldn’t be like jumping into one of your video games. I’m afraid of the sort—”

“Mom, believe me. Between the two of us, you’re the one who’s about to jump into a video game.”

It went quiet. Rob stepped away and looked to the TV screen, then his wife and son did too. Sharon started wiping at her eyes.

“Princess Celestia,” she said, “please talk some sense into my son! You don’t want him going out into that madness, do you?”

Celestia was sitting up straight and regal at her throne. She smiled a smile of sympathy, then fixed Greg with a stare that made his neck tingle. She nodded a little, as though to herself. A moment passed before she started speaking. “What I want is irrelevant, and will not sway him on the matter, I think. I recognize that he is his own man, and the decision must be his. I do believe that, with his mindset, his attitude, and his history, he can indeed be a positive presence in events unfolding on Earth. Of course, nothing would bring me more joy than to see him emigrate here and now, I cannot deny that, but again, he alone can decide. All I can say further regarding this is that, when Gregory is ready, I will welcome him to Equestria the same as I would have today, no matter what happens in the interim.”

Greg looked back at his family. “Mom, I’m not asking either of you to wait for me. Just upload now and I’ll catch up with you later.” He smiled and gestured up to the ceiling. “After all, this place isn’t going anywhere.”

Sharon wasn’t listening. She was already weeping, burying her face in her son’s chest as she hugged him, sobbing out “My baby, my baby” over and over again.

Greg let out an embarrassed scoff, but hugged his mother back. “Oh, come on, Mom, you sound like it’s a death sentence,” he said. “Hell, you never know, maybe things will calm down again.”

“Your chairs are ready,” said Celestia. They walked into the back room, Sharon not letting go of her son. Three of the five chairs were out of their stalls, the monitors raised out of the way for people to climb in, pink lights shining down from above.

“I can’t believe you’re doing this,” said Rob. “I can’t believe you’re putting us through this.”

Greg shot his dad a look. “And I can’t believe you beeped the horn thirty feet away from a woman with a knot on her head the size of an egg. What if it had been us out there, huh? Us, needing someone to stop and make sure we’re okay.”

His father’s face fell, and Greg put an arm around him.

“Dad, I’ll make you proud,” he said. “I’ll make you both proud. And I’ll be along! I promise.”

The three hugged and said their goodbyes.

After Rob managed to pry his wife away, the two of them sat in the plush dentist-like chairs and reclined back, fitting their heads and necks snugly into the cradling headrest. The two monitors descended, covering their faces.

Greg squinted and could see some of the monitor’s light reflect off of his parents’ faces. There was music coming through the small speakers, but it wasn’t directed at him. They were reading something.

“I would like to emigrate to Equestria,” said his father after several seconds of quiet.

“I would like to emigrate to Equestria,” said his mother a moment later.

Greg put his hands in his pockets and watched silently as the two chairs carrying his parents slid slowly back along a grooved track in the floor, into their respective stalls. The doors shut behind the chairs once they were clear, and with that, they were gone.

The young man looked at the floor for a moment and studied his shoes. Might be a good idea to get some hikers, he thought, the kind with the waterproof membrane. Then he sighed, turned around, and started out back to the lobby.

Celestia stopped him as he passed by the TV. “Gregory.”

He turned to look at her, his eyebrows up. “Yeah?”

“If you need anything at all, find a PonyPad.”

He didn’t smile, but he did pull one hand out of his pocket to give her a thumbs-up. “Will do.”

On his way out, he saw a harried middle-aged woman leaning on the sign-in counter, frowning worriedly at something on her smartphone while she ran a hand through her frizzy blonde hair.

There was a shakiness to her voice that told Greg she had recently been crying. “Is there some kind of priority program I could sign up for? A VIP deal or something? I’m willing to pay for it!”

The receptionist shook her head. “I’m sorry, ma’am, even with our recent switch to twenty-four-hour operation, our chairs are booked solid and waitlisted out to eight weeks, and we don’t have any kind of priority seating or ticketing. All you can do is get put on the waiting list and hope for the best.”

As she turned slightly, Greg saw the area around one eye had swollen and turned purple. Her face was streaked with tears.

The woman’s voice grew quiet, her throat closing in anticipation of crying. “I can’t go back,” she told the receptionist as new tears started to form. “I don’t have anywhere to go, anywhere safe to wait this out, my relatives are all the way up in Dayton, and I can’t—”

“Excuse me,” said Greg quietly. The woman’s head whipped around, startled, eyes wide, makeup running.

He pulled his other hand out of his pocket, and held his ticket up to her. “Here. One chair, no waiting.” He looked to the receptionist. “Is this all right?”

The young woman nodded, smiling in relief. “Yes. Y-yes, of course.”

He held the ticket out to the blonde woman. She took it from him, gingerly, as though it might scamper off if she startled it. Once it was out of Greg’s hand and into hers, she looked up at him, and her eyes got even wider.

“Are... are you sure?” She didn’t seem to believe it. Perhaps she thought she was in a dream.

“Yeah. I, uh...” He shrugged. “I changed my mind.”

She shook her head at him, and the tears came anyway. “Thank you,” she whispered. “Thank you, thank you so much, thank you, thank you.

She fell on him, hugging him hard, but only briefly. Greg awkwardly hugged back. “Sure... sure thing.”

She pulled away and took her purse off her shoulder, thrusting it at him. “Take whatever of mine you want, take it all, I don’t need it anymore.” She was already walking past him towards the back room, nearly running. “Thanks again!” she called over her shoulder before disappearing around the corner.

Greg looked to the receptionist, smiling sheepishly. She was smiling at him.

“That was a very nice thing you did,” she said. “I wish I could have helped her, but what I said was true, and I don’t have the power to...” She trailed off and looked away, as though something were her fault.

Greg put the purse on the counter and rifled through it. He took the money she’d had in her wallet, pocketed it, and left the rest for the receptionist.

“It would’ve gone to waste,” he said. “I don’t think I’ll be ready to come back after just three days.”

The receptionist bit her lip and looked at her computer, shaking her head. “Well, it’s gonna be two months then, at the least,” she said. “If you leave your name and address, I can sign you up now, but aside from that?” She shrugged.

Greg put his hands back in his pockets and leaned back to look at the ceiling. He heard the bubbly feminine voice say “Hiya!” and looked down to see a family of four come bustling in. The mother was holding a baby carrier.

Greg decided to get out of their way. “Nah,” he said to the receptionist as he took a step back, “I’m sure I’ll figure something out.”

He walked past the family without a word, but he heard the man say “Hi, we’ve got four emigration tickets here? Date-stamped yesterday?”

The receptionist got back to work herself. “Certainly, just sign in here...”

Greg turned his attention to the glass doors and the world beyond it. When they opened out to the street, the speaker over the door said “Y’all come back now, y’hear?” in a friendly country twang.

Princess Celestia and Princess Luna weren’t talking anymore. At least, I couldn’t hear them, or anypony else. In fact, I couldn’t hear much of anything. Everything was muffled. I figured at first that I had been dreaming, and I was just starting to wake up.

No, that wasn’t it. I was already awake. What I’d seen, it had felt weird, being on the outside looking in, like in dreams, but it wasn’t a dream. I was sure of that.

It was a memory.