Light. Must go towards the light. Even in the bright explosion, he could see his friends waving at him. His best friend had large a bottle of vodka in one hand, and a sausage in the other. But something wasn't right. When he tried to reach for a drink, everything stopped. His friend smirked at him and poured the drink on his head.

“What the-” He shook his head. Previous images disappeared, now he saw the blurry figure of another pony.  

“Wake up! What are ya doing here, huh?” Ivan noticed that the unfamiliar voice was sounding angry. Ivan looked up to see a mare. ‘Great, another mare,’ he thought. This one was orange with a long, blond mane, staying next to empty bucket. Three apples on her flank? So she's good on eating them or something like that?

While he was trying to stand up he was quite sure why she acted like that. He was a blank flanked stallion with strangely trimmed, black mane and black tail, which was hanging on his back, luckily looking very normal for local standards. Ivan decided to be calm and nice for her, at least for now. She had the advantage after all.

“I'll not cause any harm, miss.” ‘Yet.’ he thought automatically. “I'm Ivan and...it’s nice to meet you...?”

He wasn't that sure any more about that pleasant meeting. The expression on her muzzle was telling him anything but the enjoyment of pleasantries. After few seconds of staring at each other, she started to look rather curious and careful, instead of being so furious.

“Are you a spy? Out to get our recipe of cinder? Pies? Tell ya what. Ah will treat you better, if ya will spill the beans.”

Did she wake up in bad mood? It wasn't important to Ivan. Maybe he wasn't a nice guy in his whole life, but spying, betraying and other filthy moves were not his business. On the other hand, or hoof rather, she could provide him place to stay, food even. But an insult is an insult, a dishonor to him. In addition, he couldn't tell her the truth. She would not believe a story about a human, who somehow changed into a pony.

“Back off, lady. I just needed place to stay for the night, that’s all. Go back to your apples.” Ivan replied, slowly going to the exit from the barn. He narrowed his eyes, trying to get used to the bright light. There goes the opportunity to stay on the farm, and the possibility of a job. The Farm was huge, but full of only apple trees? That was strange. The orange pony suddenly appeared, yelling at someone at a distance. It was a large stallion, even taller and probably stronger than him. How do you fight as a pony? With hooves, head or both? He couldn't wait for their reactions, so he started to run away like a coward. It wasn't like him.

The Red stallion quickly appeared before the mare, curiously looking at the running, uninvited quest.

“What's wrong AJ? He steal something? But not your kiss, huh?” The mare, called AJ blushed heavily, feeling angry at her older brother. The “spy” was getting away, lengthening the distance with every second.

“Ah...Ah was sure that he was spying on us. And...” The mare just wasn't that sure any more. Spying in a barn? She was a bit hot-headed sometimes. But there still was something strange and unusual about that stallion. “Never mind. Will ya keep an eye on him? Something isn't right. Ah sense it.”

“Eeyup.” Her brother replied. Everypony should be careful with strangers, but not too much. Like it was many days ago with a local zebra, Zecora.

Ivan was running like never before. Maybe he got talent in it, but he had to lose the furious stallion following him. He looked over his back, nothing. He won, for now. Ivan laughed to himself, that was easy. It was like the other stallion wasn't running at all. Brilliant. Automatically, he lowered his eyes with curiosity at his own flank. As talented runner, it could be easier to fit in, at least for a while. But after a few seconds...nothing. Maybe it wasn't too good of a talent for him? Yes, that was probably right. His musing was suddenly interrupted by long and loud rumbling in his stomach. Well, that was just a start of the new day, so he could do much more research in town than yesterday.

This time, Ponyville was full of citizens. He was more than sure that he will get too much attention, but hiding forever wasn't a solution. Maybe ponies weren't staring at his flanks all the time, but his unusual haircut would most likely turn a few heads. From hair to blank flank, from blank flank to fast conclusions, it was not safe for him. ‘Here goes nothing.’ he thought to himself, entering more crowded parts of Ponyville. He went passed the first pony. Then a second, a third and a forth. Nothing. Was it really that easy? Then he thumped his own forehead with his hoof. Silly Ivan. You can't believe every girl you meet, obviously they're overreacting. He looked fine, he probably isn't the first pony without cutie marks and with an unusual haircut. The stallion chuckled to himself, then quickly changing it to laughter, short, but loud. Not a second has passed and he was observed by dozens of pony eyes.

“Oh, who are you?” The nearest mare touched his flanks, admiring every part of his body.

“Where are yours cutie marks?”

“Are you from the forest?”

“You're with Zecora?” That last question made many mares giggle for a while.

Ivan wasn't paying attention any more. Even if he wanted try to answer for those silly questions, he obviously couldn't. But he raised one hoof, calling for silence.

“Ladies. Friends. I’m just a visitor from far away, looking for something to put on the roast, if you know what I'm saying.” Ivan was sure those ponies wouldn’t have any clue. He sighed loudly. “I just need some food! Jeez!”

Ponies gasped, terrified. The stallion grew more unsure with every passing minute. If a loud voice was considered a crime, what about other, serious misbehaviors?

“How rude. Maybe where you come from, but here we treat everypony with respect. Especially a lady like me. Um…us.” This time, it was a white pony with horn and three diamonds on her flank speaking. Great, how many species are here? Maybe with wings and a horn together?

Ivan tried to start talking about finding a good place with food, but suddenly sniffed out a bakery full of sweet goods. They weren't so far away from a 'palace of sweets' as he could describe it. He shook his own head. No, his diet is meat and good, strong drinks. But a rumbling stomach was just too annoying.

“Yeah, yeah. My bad. Ladies rule, stallions drool. Now excuse me, I have a shop to clean.”

“You're shop cleaner? Figures, from your filthy behavior.” The fancy mare replied, more giggles of other ponies could heard.

Ivan sighed loudly, rolling his eyes. After that, he tried to get to the bakery quickly, without being observed all the time. But that was obviously not easy.

“I'm still talking to you, mister!” The 'diamond' pony was more annoying than himself.

“Too bad, I'm ignoring you right now.”

“What? No pony is ignoring me, Rarity.”

“Someone must be the first.”

“Maybe you could be a gentelpony from time to time?”

“Or maybe you could stop being such a bitchy pony from time to time?” Ivan sighed heavily again. He heard loud gasps and awkward silence after that outburst. But only for a few, short moments. When he raised his eyes, he saw an angry...no, not angry...a furious mare. Probably more dangerous than a bear, at least in Russia.

“No...pony...is...treating...me...like…THAT!” She growled, her horn start to glowing with soft light. Ivan couldn't do anything; he was just staring at her, curious and feared in same time. A silky napkin angrily smacked his muzzle three times. That's it?

“Wow...that hurts. Goodbye cruel world.” He yawned, then suddenly grasped the flying napkin with his teeth. Ivan lowered his head, so he could use his hoof, and with a tearing sound Rarity's piece of cloth was is shreds.

Ponies weren't even gasping. They were just standing on their hooves, in deep, heavy silence. It was too dangerous to talk near a furious Rarity or that strange stallion. They could observe the nervous ticks in Rarity's eye when she was trying to realize what just happened.

“Now excuse me, for last time. I'm going to eat.” But after few steps, he heard more words. Beautiful, he will starve to death here.

“You…are...not...going...ANYWHERE!”

“Great. There goes my breakfast.” He remembered from the last time, that he can't just wait and see what will happen. If you angered a hotheaded woman, you run, never hide. She will find you. Beating on woman just wasn't right. If it was possible.

Ivan was running, again, with all strength in his four legs. He wasn't sure where to run. Except one place, far away from that crazy lady. When he last checked, the pony named Rarity was the only one who was chasing him. At least that. After many feet of distance (or miles even?) he tried to hide in the nearest bush. He took few deep breaths and tried to look around him. Some garden, filled with many tall hedges and statues made of flora. Ivan noticed a pegasus who was finishing up the last details of tall pony's muzzle with raised hoof.

“Lara?”

Young gardener tried to find the pony who mentioned her name. Her eyes widened, noticing Ivan in one of bushes.

“What...what are you doing here? I heard you don't need help from me?”

“Yeah, but yesterday I wasn’t being chased by some crazy bi-“

“THERE YOU ARE!”

Rarity was approaching very slowly, like a cat who saw a trapped, scarred mouse. She was breathing heavily, looking at him with fury in her eyes.

“Rarity! What do you want from him?” Lara got surprised by that very unusual event.
The expression of the 'diamond' mare changed amazingly fast. She even tried to improve her mane a little, smiling a bit nervously.

“Lara, my dear friend. I was trying to talk to that stallion. Some...serious...talk…” The last words she spoke with cold voice. Colder than deepest parts of Siberia.

Lara looked at Ivan. This was his greatest chance. He tried to silently ask for help, begging for mercy. Wait, mercy? He was a man, he can manage everything. But before he could speak for himself, Lara raised her hoof.

“I'm sorry for my guest, Rarity, but he is from...far away. I'll teach him manners, don't be afraid.”

“But...” Rarity couldn't believe her own ears.

“But he's exhausted. You can talk to him...later.”

There was something in her voice that even the white mare couldn't even try to argue. Shaking her head and mumbling quietly, she left them alone. Ivan finally left his bush.

“Thanks for that bluff.”

“Bluff? I wasn't bluffing. Get into the house and rest. You're probably starving.”

“Oh, come on...” He tried to resist, but then he looked into her home through the open window. Food! Without thinking, the strange Russian pony went into the house of the even stranger gardener.

He was safe, for now.

Edited by Lunafan1k