Pain, a blurry, confused mind, darkness. Well, with eyes closed, it's quite obvious to not clearly see anything. When he finally opened them, he took in the sight of the sun, low on the horizon. The strong scent of grass was almost irritating as it attacked his senses. It was probably normal with so many unusual surroundings, especially for him. He had to find out where he was exactly, if everything is all right with his body. It was his least favorite thing to be left naked out somewhere in the woods after some unpleasant time. At least for him anyway. As his people said, ‘keep your shit together.’ He had to finally get up and check his surroundings.

Hands first, he laid them against the ground in an effort to raise himself. But something wasn't right. He didn't feel his fingers against the ground. Instead two flat ends of his limbs just clopped on the dirt with a rather dull sound. His large eyes glanced down to see what happened. His limbs appeared to have gotten amputated; his mind too hazy to realize what was going on. He had to get help before he died of a heart attack or some sort of mental illness. His ear twitched to another sound. Water? Yes, there it was not far from his location.

Fighting with the pain in his legs, he finally managed to get up in a strange new crawling position. Even if he had to crawl, he needed to be able to see everything, even if the low visibility made it difficult. Surprisingly, the crawling wasn't bad at all, almost like he was born to walk on four limbs. After few short seconds, he looked at his reflection in the lake. He gasped in confusion, and then he looked back again. His face was ridiculously longer than usual, and his hair was rather strange. It was still in some sort of military fashion, but little longer than it should be. It was clearly him, but he was also a...horse?

Several long minutes passed as he was trying to look at every inch of his new body. He didn’t have a very strong build, as he was short for a horse. A pony? He chuckled to himself. Right, he was somehow a new character of the My Little Pony show he hated so much. He was only forced to watch the show for only a few minutes, but he hated it none the less. Realization suddenly hit him, his eyes widened in fear. No, not only because he wasn't a human any more, no, but that he maybe was right. The bright colors of the surroundings and the odd color of his body for a pony, red like a communist star. But...he was alone. Maybe it was a dream? The man, or rather, the stallion, returned to checking his new body.

“Um...what are you doing?” A voice? It was high-pitched, confusing and irritating to him. And how it was possible that he didn't realize that he was being observed? The stallion raised his eyes to the direction of the silly voice. It was a pink mare, with wings? That was an answer to one of his questions. He knew what a pegasus was, but he remembered them as proud stallions. Not a silly looking...thing.

“Um...zdrastwujtie...” He replied carefully to her. Then he realized that he should speak in her language. Why English? Bah!

“What did you say? I don't understand...” The mare was staring at him, very confused, but also curious. Like she met a very interesting, new friend to play with.

“I..I'm sorry. Good morning. I...I'm Ivan...” He wasn't sure if saying his name to a potential enemy was too smart, but should he truly be afraid of that pink pony?

“Morning? It's almost sundown. I'm Lara. Hey, where's your cutie mark?” Right. He was so surprised by this new, strange situation that he forgot to check what time it was. Even if he didn't have his watch or cellphone he could have just paid attention to the setting sun. Then he narrowed his eyes. What she did say?

“Um....cutie...what?” That was just too much for him.

“Cutie marks! Look!” She stood next to him, so he could see her side. He saw a symbol of watering can. What the heck?

“Um...and what is it for...?” Again, he was sure that he asked wrong question.

“What is it for? Oh come on...it states our special talent. I someday realized that I'll be a wonderful gardener. And I am. Even if I'm a pegasus.”

“Right...” He sighed softly.

They were looking at each other in awkward silence. Ivan wasn't sure if he should ask for any help or not. Lara wanted to do something to cheer him up, if not only because he was a blank flank.

“Where is your home, anyway? And what happened with your hair? It's so strangely...trimmed. Like a hedge or something.” Lara giggled at her own joke.

Ivan growled softly. Was it that funny to her? He was a proud man, or rather a stallion. But answering her questions was more important. He can't be too suspicious, that would be too dangerous. Lie about his homeland? Or maybe tell the truth? Yeah, that’s a great idea. “Oh hi. I was a human, now I'm a pony.” But the answer could be a very simple and clever lie.

“I...I don't know. I don't remember. I just woke up here, I can only remember my name and that strange language...” He sighed, hoping that will work. He even tried to look at her sadly.

Lara lowered her eyes. She felt very sorry for him. Being a “blank flank” could be miserable enough. No home, no friends, no family.

“I'll take you to Ponyville!” She said with wide smile. There should be somepony who will help him, after all. ‘Yeah, and you'll treat me like a circus freak.’ He thought. At first he liked the idea, but there must be some other way. Also, it was starting to get darker. He needed to build a shelter, but with hooves?

“Just show me where it is. I don’t need any help.”

“But-”

“I'm fine!” He yelled. He felt so much anger. Being so...cute. Not a man...a wuss, something which shouldn't even exist.

“I...I...” She was afraid of that strange pony. But she sighed, being sure that she can't do anything more. The pegasus pointed in a direction, “There, it’s that way. But you really do need help, and some friends. Sadly, you don't want any...”

When she sighed once more, she quickly raised her wings to get into the air and probably fly to her home. Time was running out for young Ivan. A stallion, or an ex-human as he described himself in his mind.

Ex-human? No! He had to find someone who could help him and go back to Earth. He wasn't a wuss. He was a warrior. He knew how to fight, how to hurt and to protect people. But for now, he needed some help. After several minutes of lonely walking in the direction pointed out by the pegasus, he reached the nearest town. It was small, but it wasn't a problem for him. The problem was... ponies were preparing for rest, most likely. The shops were closed, the streets were empty. He realized that he will be without shelter for the night. Unless he will begged some random pony. Ivan reached a large tree, hollowed out into a sort of house.

He peeked into a window. So many books. No, only books. Possibly a library? He wanted to deal with his problems with actions, not sitting around with his head covered in literature. The sword is more powerful than the quill. After loud sigh, he continued his journey, getting more and more exhausted.

Memories of his life were haunting his mind, his friends, his family, the adventures, just normal, interesting life, and his last night as a human. Nothing unusual, really. Just taking few drinks before going to sleep in his bed. He was now walking with his eyes almost closed, trying to focus where he was going exactly. After another loud and long yawn, he felt strong pain on his head. The stallion just hit it on the nearby apple tree. Some of the fruits fell down around him.

“Focus Ivan, focus!” He shook his head and finally found a solution. A barn! He slept in a similar one when he was a kid once. But now, he badly needed some rest. He opened it and fell down just past the door, too tired to find better place. After a long, loud breath, he finally found some dreams and rest.

For now.

Edited by Lanafan1k

Light. Must go towards the light. Even in the bright explosion, he could see his friends waving at him. His best friend had large a bottle of vodka in one hand, and a sausage in the other. But something wasn't right. When he tried to reach for a drink, everything stopped. His friend smirked at him and poured the drink on his head.

“What the-” He shook his head. Previous images disappeared, now he saw the blurry figure of another pony.  

“Wake up! What are ya doing here, huh?” Ivan noticed that the unfamiliar voice was sounding angry. Ivan looked up to see a mare. ‘Great, another mare,’ he thought. This one was orange with a long, blond mane, staying next to empty bucket. Three apples on her flank? So she's good on eating them or something like that?

While he was trying to stand up he was quite sure why she acted like that. He was a blank flanked stallion with strangely trimmed, black mane and black tail, which was hanging on his back, luckily looking very normal for local standards. Ivan decided to be calm and nice for her, at least for now. She had the advantage after all.

“I'll not cause any harm, miss.” ‘Yet.’ he thought automatically. “I'm Ivan and...it’s nice to meet you...?”

He wasn't that sure any more about that pleasant meeting. The expression on her muzzle was telling him anything but the enjoyment of pleasantries. After few seconds of staring at each other, she started to look rather curious and careful, instead of being so furious.

“Are you a spy? Out to get our recipe of cinder? Pies? Tell ya what. Ah will treat you better, if ya will spill the beans.”

Did she wake up in bad mood? It wasn't important to Ivan. Maybe he wasn't a nice guy in his whole life, but spying, betraying and other filthy moves were not his business. On the other hand, or hoof rather, she could provide him place to stay, food even. But an insult is an insult, a dishonor to him. In addition, he couldn't tell her the truth. She would not believe a story about a human, who somehow changed into a pony.

“Back off, lady. I just needed place to stay for the night, that’s all. Go back to your apples.” Ivan replied, slowly going to the exit from the barn. He narrowed his eyes, trying to get used to the bright light. There goes the opportunity to stay on the farm, and the possibility of a job. The Farm was huge, but full of only apple trees? That was strange. The orange pony suddenly appeared, yelling at someone at a distance. It was a large stallion, even taller and probably stronger than him. How do you fight as a pony? With hooves, head or both? He couldn't wait for their reactions, so he started to run away like a coward. It wasn't like him.

The Red stallion quickly appeared before the mare, curiously looking at the running, uninvited quest.

“What's wrong AJ? He steal something? But not your kiss, huh?” The mare, called AJ blushed heavily, feeling angry at her older brother. The “spy” was getting away, lengthening the distance with every second.

“Ah...Ah was sure that he was spying on us. And...” The mare just wasn't that sure any more. Spying in a barn? She was a bit hot-headed sometimes. But there still was something strange and unusual about that stallion. “Never mind. Will ya keep an eye on him? Something isn't right. Ah sense it.”

“Eeyup.” Her brother replied. Everypony should be careful with strangers, but not too much. Like it was many days ago with a local zebra, Zecora.

Ivan was running like never before. Maybe he got talent in it, but he had to lose the furious stallion following him. He looked over his back, nothing. He won, for now. Ivan laughed to himself, that was easy. It was like the other stallion wasn't running at all. Brilliant. Automatically, he lowered his eyes with curiosity at his own flank. As talented runner, it could be easier to fit in, at least for a while. But after a few seconds...nothing. Maybe it wasn't too good of a talent for him? Yes, that was probably right. His musing was suddenly interrupted by long and loud rumbling in his stomach. Well, that was just a start of the new day, so he could do much more research in town than yesterday.

This time, Ponyville was full of citizens. He was more than sure that he will get too much attention, but hiding forever wasn't a solution. Maybe ponies weren't staring at his flanks all the time, but his unusual haircut would most likely turn a few heads. From hair to blank flank, from blank flank to fast conclusions, it was not safe for him. ‘Here goes nothing.’ he thought to himself, entering more crowded parts of Ponyville. He went passed the first pony. Then a second, a third and a forth. Nothing. Was it really that easy? Then he thumped his own forehead with his hoof. Silly Ivan. You can't believe every girl you meet, obviously they're overreacting. He looked fine, he probably isn't the first pony without cutie marks and with an unusual haircut. The stallion chuckled to himself, then quickly changing it to laughter, short, but loud. Not a second has passed and he was observed by dozens of pony eyes.

“Oh, who are you?” The nearest mare touched his flanks, admiring every part of his body.

“Where are yours cutie marks?”

“Are you from the forest?”

“You're with Zecora?” That last question made many mares giggle for a while.

Ivan wasn't paying attention any more. Even if he wanted try to answer for those silly questions, he obviously couldn't. But he raised one hoof, calling for silence.

“Ladies. Friends. I’m just a visitor from far away, looking for something to put on the roast, if you know what I'm saying.” Ivan was sure those ponies wouldn’t have any clue. He sighed loudly. “I just need some food! Jeez!”

Ponies gasped, terrified. The stallion grew more unsure with every passing minute. If a loud voice was considered a crime, what about other, serious misbehaviors?

“How rude. Maybe where you come from, but here we treat everypony with respect. Especially a lady like me. Um…us.” This time, it was a white pony with horn and three diamonds on her flank speaking. Great, how many species are here? Maybe with wings and a horn together?

Ivan tried to start talking about finding a good place with food, but suddenly sniffed out a bakery full of sweet goods. They weren't so far away from a 'palace of sweets' as he could describe it. He shook his own head. No, his diet is meat and good, strong drinks. But a rumbling stomach was just too annoying.

“Yeah, yeah. My bad. Ladies rule, stallions drool. Now excuse me, I have a shop to clean.”

“You're shop cleaner? Figures, from your filthy behavior.” The fancy mare replied, more giggles of other ponies could heard.

Ivan sighed loudly, rolling his eyes. After that, he tried to get to the bakery quickly, without being observed all the time. But that was obviously not easy.

“I'm still talking to you, mister!” The 'diamond' pony was more annoying than himself.

“Too bad, I'm ignoring you right now.”

“What? No pony is ignoring me, Rarity.”

“Someone must be the first.”

“Maybe you could be a gentelpony from time to time?”

“Or maybe you could stop being such a bitchy pony from time to time?” Ivan sighed heavily again. He heard loud gasps and awkward silence after that outburst. But only for a few, short moments. When he raised his eyes, he saw an angry...no, not angry...a furious mare. Probably more dangerous than a bear, at least in Russia.

“No...pony...is...treating...me...like…THAT!” She growled, her horn start to glowing with soft light. Ivan couldn't do anything; he was just staring at her, curious and feared in same time. A silky napkin angrily smacked his muzzle three times. That's it?

“Wow...that hurts. Goodbye cruel world.” He yawned, then suddenly grasped the flying napkin with his teeth. Ivan lowered his head, so he could use his hoof, and with a tearing sound Rarity's piece of cloth was is shreds.

Ponies weren't even gasping. They were just standing on their hooves, in deep, heavy silence. It was too dangerous to talk near a furious Rarity or that strange stallion. They could observe the nervous ticks in Rarity's eye when she was trying to realize what just happened.

“Now excuse me, for last time. I'm going to eat.” But after few steps, he heard more words. Beautiful, he will starve to death here.

“You…are...not...going...ANYWHERE!”

“Great. There goes my breakfast.” He remembered from the last time, that he can't just wait and see what will happen. If you angered a hotheaded woman, you run, never hide. She will find you. Beating on woman just wasn't right. If it was possible.

Ivan was running, again, with all strength in his four legs. He wasn't sure where to run. Except one place, far away from that crazy lady. When he last checked, the pony named Rarity was the only one who was chasing him. At least that. After many feet of distance (or miles even?) he tried to hide in the nearest bush. He took few deep breaths and tried to look around him. Some garden, filled with many tall hedges and statues made of flora. Ivan noticed a pegasus who was finishing up the last details of tall pony's muzzle with raised hoof.

“Lara?”

Young gardener tried to find the pony who mentioned her name. Her eyes widened, noticing Ivan in one of bushes.

“What...what are you doing here? I heard you don't need help from me?”

“Yeah, but yesterday I wasn’t being chased by some crazy bi-“

“THERE YOU ARE!”

Rarity was approaching very slowly, like a cat who saw a trapped, scarred mouse. She was breathing heavily, looking at him with fury in her eyes.

“Rarity! What do you want from him?” Lara got surprised by that very unusual event.
The expression of the 'diamond' mare changed amazingly fast. She even tried to improve her mane a little, smiling a bit nervously.

“Lara, my dear friend. I was trying to talk to that stallion. Some...serious...talk…” The last words she spoke with cold voice. Colder than deepest parts of Siberia.

Lara looked at Ivan. This was his greatest chance. He tried to silently ask for help, begging for mercy. Wait, mercy? He was a man, he can manage everything. But before he could speak for himself, Lara raised her hoof.

“I'm sorry for my guest, Rarity, but he is from...far away. I'll teach him manners, don't be afraid.”

“But...” Rarity couldn't believe her own ears.

“But he's exhausted. You can talk to him...later.”

There was something in her voice that even the white mare couldn't even try to argue. Shaking her head and mumbling quietly, she left them alone. Ivan finally left his bush.

“Thanks for that bluff.”

“Bluff? I wasn't bluffing. Get into the house and rest. You're probably starving.”

“Oh, come on...” He tried to resist, but then he looked into her home through the open window. Food! Without thinking, the strange Russian pony went into the house of the even stranger gardener.

He was safe, for now.

Edited by Lunafan1k