It was another bright, sunny day in Trottingham. Flam was lounging on the porch couch just outside his home, fully relaxed from the superb weather. His thick candy-cane colored mane acted as cover for his eyes from the sun. He stretched out his thin frame and placed his hooves behind his head.

"Nothing like a beautiful day to wind down," he said aloud in a singsong voice, to no one in particular. Flam sunk deeper into the sofa. Just as he was about to begin a well-deserved nap, a barely audible shout beckoned to him.

"Flaaammm!" Flam's mustache twitched in slight regard to the sound. He dismissed it and rolled to his side on the couch. "Flaaaammmm!!" the voice called out again, slightly louder. He pushed his head deeper into the cushion, 'Just when I got comfortable,' Flam thought.

His identical brother, sans mustache, burst from around the corner in full sprint. Flim leapt onto the couch, "Flam!" he happily yelled out. Upon Flim's impact of the opposite cushions, this launched Flam into the air. To anypony off in the distance, it appeared as if Equestria had launched a new space program.

Poor Flam wouldn't even reach the stratosphere. His momentum began to reverse back toward the ground. He could hardly contain his shock, this sudden change of events leaving him breathless. As Flam tumbled in the air, his only thoughts were of how he would give Flim a good flanking. His horn glowed a vibrant green and a pile of pillows appeared precisely on his upcoming crash site. "Oomph!" he cried out upon impact, air knocked out of his lungs.

"Gee whiz, brother of mine, that was quite the spectacle." Flim grinned wildly as he approached Flam. Flam shook his head until he regained his senses, "Indeed, Flim, allow me to demonstrate the next act!" He leapt at his unicorn brother, the two of them began scuffling on the ground. It would seem they were actually fighting, but this was a routine game of rough-housing to let off steam. In a strange way this helped the two bond more. Brothers are weird like that.

They chuckled at one other and righted themselves up. "Dear Flim, why on Equestria would you disturb a fellow stallion's resting time?" Flam quizzed at his brother.

"Why Flam, I just had to tell you of this brilliant idea that I had!" he declared back. "It's going to get us millions of bits!"

"Well do tell then, brother!" Flam retorted with a smile. He was anxious to hear what Flim had cooked up this time.

"You're gonna love this.." he paused to increase the excitement, "canned hay!" Flim spread out his arms emphatically.

Flam's face suddenly turned to one of skepticism, "Not this again, Flim." He trotted back over to the couch.

"What? This one's the bit-winner! I'm sure of it this time!" Flim protested, following his brother.

"That's what you've said about all of our other ideas; no bake cupcakes, Eco-friendly scrolls, derby race betting, we can't keep doing this!" Flam explained, fixing the sofa properly.

"But brother, it's our destiny! We come up with an idea, we sell it for millions, and we're happy for the rest of our lives!" Flim exclaimed, shocked that Flam would even oppose it.

"But we've failed so many times! We're lousy sales ponies and no pony here wants to buy our products. We're not important," Flam muttered as he dejectedly looked down at the ground.

"Brother." He glanced up, their matching green eyes locking contact. "We are two fine unicorns. We are excellent sale ponies. We are brothers that complete each other." Flim turned his flank alongside Flam's to remind him of their marks. Flam's was of an apple with a piece missing. Flim's mark was that missing apple piece. "We are most certainly important, ol’ chum."

Flam smiled at his life-long friend, "You always know how to cheer me up, Flim." He placed his hoof on Flim's shoulder. "That makes me think that we should find a style that truly matches ourselves."

"I agree, brother, but what?" Flim asked back.

They both puzzled in silence about what this strategy could be. Flam began to stroke his mustache, suddenly hearing a distant trumpeting. "Did you hear that, Flim?"

"I sure did, Flam, let's go investigate," he responded back as the two galloped off. They entered the town square to find everypony gathered around a stage. There in front of the crowd was a sky-blue mare with a starry hat and cape.

She reared back in triumph, "BEHOLD! THE GREAT AND POWERFUL TRIXIE HAS COME TO ASTOUND YOU! I have traveled great distances to showcase my glorious magic! And you lucky citizens of Trottingham will soon know of my majesty. Whatever anypony can do, I can do better!"

A subtle ding went off in Flam's head. "Flim, are you thinking what I'm thinking?"

Flim nodded his head, "We oughta be just as flashy with outfits as that filly, get ponies' attention!"

"Yes, I mean, no, but that's a fantastic idea, too! Brother, we don't have to make our own original idea. We just need to take somepony else's idea and make it better," Flam spoke, ideas flooding his mind.

"Flam, we're geniuses! But what idea could we capitalize on?" Flim asked, looking around for an inspiration. The brothers noticed each other's cutie marks at the same time, "Apples!" they both concluded.

"Yes indeed, brother. Better yet, cider, to make things even easier. Why bother with the manual labor when we have our magic to create that sweet mixture?!" Flam deduced, tweaking his mustache a tad.

"Why stop at simply making it with magic when we can make a machine to make it for us?! We gotta go all out!" Flim waved his hooves about excitedly.

Flam tapped his hoof with his brother's, "Let's do this this bygolly!" They both began working immediately (well, all with magic of course) and soon a building montage was accomplished (just like the movies sonny!)

Flim and Flam looked back at their creation, more proud than a clever troll. "I say, dear brother, looks like we're in business!" Flam proclaimed.

"Rightly so, Flam, and now we have these snazzy get-ups that I picked up in the attic. I think Uncle Bernie and Uncle Madoff left them for us!" Flim pulled out a matching pair of vests and hats. The clothes fit perfectly, it was too good to be true!

"Now we gotta name this beauty of ours," Flam mused, looking up at their invention. "Let's just say the most fitting words that come first to mind."

"Super," Flim quickly said, looking over at Flam. "Speedy!" "Cider!" "Squeezy!" "6000!" they sang back and forth, finishing the last word together.

"Hoho Flim! We've done it now!" Flam excitedly hollered.

"We most certainly have, Flam!" Flim chuckled back.

They both breathed in, eager to start their journey, and pounced onto the machine. Their horns glowed in green unison to power up their creation. "Look out Equestria! Here come the world famous FlimFlam Brothers!!!!"

“Helloooooooo Palaminooooo!!!” Flim announced loudly, head raised toward the cloudless sky. “We are the WORLD FAMOUS FlimFlam Brothers! Gather ‘round everypony, you won’t want to miss out on our new and incredible invention!”

The two brothers had just arrived in the small village, a very humble countryside outlet. There wasn’t a large population of ponies there, but it was the next stop from Trottingham and quite the quaint one at that. Palamino featured a rich abundance of serene pastures with little to no buildings around. It was a small wonder that there was even a market here, but it’s picturesque scenery was sore tempting to make Flim and Flam stop.

As the Super Speedy Cider Squeezy 6000 (‘It just slips off the tongue so well!’ Flam thought to himself, admiring their name and handiwork) pulled into the town square, a few of the residents trotted up with looks of confusion. Unfortunately among those citizens was the village idiot, Rush La’Dush. To put it nicely, he was more than a few apples short of a bushel. Heck, his orchard was barren of any apples. He used to be an intelligent stallion, but this poor hazel-brown colored earth pony had gotten it in his head one day that the Princess was monitoring them. That is, putting hidden cameras in the local pond to spy on them. His mind had lost several important brain cells by sticking his head underwater for prolonged periods of time searching for evidence.

Needless to say, Rush was strait-jacket nuts. His white mane was always ruffled and stricken with local woodland creatures. He often had a look of suspicion adorned on his face, wild-eyed and twitching at anything out of the ordinary. Rush’s actions had led the village to just go along with it as it was fairly routine. It wouldn’t be a normal day if Rush hadn’t accused somepony of a conspiracy by the end of the evening. Today was no different as he had wrapped an entire roll of tin-foil around his neck and forehead. Obviously to keep the government from reading his mind. Rush’s left eye began to swirl about insanely as his right eye kept it’s glare at the brothers.

“SPIES! I TOLD ALL OF YOU, CANTERLOT IS GOING TO MAKE US THEIR SLAVES!” Rush cried out in defiance. Flim and Flam looked at each other, absolutely perplexed, and then looked back at the crowd. Surely there had to be someone interested in their cider!

“Oh give it a rest, Rush, let them speak,” pronounced an unidentifiable voice from the crowd. “Yeah, last time you pulled something like this the Wonderbolts shot out of here in pure terror!” shouted another voice. Rush gave a look of annoyance to everypony, but bit his lip back at the brothers.

Flim nervously chuckled. “Right, as I was saying, we’re here to supply all of you ponies with delicious cider! I’m sure somepony here is thirsty enough for a drink!”

The majority of the ponies looked at each other, contemplating the idea. One ash-gray unicorn trotted forward to the machine. “I’ll take a mug,” he called up.

“Excellent!” Flam shouted. With that, the brothers immediately struck the antenna with their magic in unison. The machine began to churn and grind gears, a large funnel sucking up some apples that Flim had gathered beforehand. The crowd watched in awe as the Super Speedy Cider Squeezy 6000 (anypony gotten annoyed with that yet? :] ) poured out a mug for this customer. Flim excitedly handed it over to the unicorn who graciously took it and gave back three bits in exchange. Just as he was about to sip, Rush knocked the mug out of his hoof.

“THAT’S THEIR MIND CONTROL LIQUID! YOU TAKE ONE SWIG OF THAT AND YOU’LL BE PRAISING CELESTIA ALL THE DAY LONG!” Rush protested, dashing to the crowd to emphasize his point. They all sighed, almost feeling guilty for having this happen to the new guests. One by one they cantered over to Flim and Flam to purchase a mug as a sort of compensation for the trouble. However, one cloaked pony meandered over to the puddle of cider and gave it a lick. Instantly, he launched himself up in stark insanity.

“O’ CELESTIA! The mare I call Princess!” he sang, still shrouded with his hood. One pony would later note that the tune sounded oddly familiar to an anthem north of the border, but he dismissed the thought.

“By jove!” cried out another similarly attired stallion, “Rush was right! That pony’s gone cuckoo for Celestia!” The crowd collectively gasped. Immediately, they all started screaming and ran off to their own homes.

Rush put up his hooves in victory. “I TOLD YOU! WHO’S THE CRAZY HORSE NOW?!” He cackled, throwing a head of cabbage at the post office. He then galloped away, zigzagging back and forth to his hut in the marshes. Suddenly Flim and Flam were alone in the village, the sound of a hawk echoing out in the emptiness. “What just happened?” Flam puzzled.

While they stood there in shock, the two cloaked stallions from before approached them behind their backs. One chuckled in mockery, “Looks like you fellas aren’t cut out for being salesponies yet.”

Flim’s reaction was that of surprise and anger. “Wait a minute, you two faked that little show?!? What’s the big flamboozle?!?”

Flam sided right next to his brother, equally enraged. “How dare you miscreants meddle our first sale! What do you have to say for yourselves?!”

The two strangers laughed louder once more. “You’ve got a lot way to go!” they said in unison. At this, they unveiled their cloaks and threw them in the air. Before Flim and Flam, stood their pegasi uncles. Their jaws dropped to the ground. It was almost a cover page for Equestria Business Weekly, the uncles’ emerald coats glistening in the sun whilst they smirked.

“UNCLE BERNIE?! UNCLE MADOFF?! What are you two doing here?” the FlimFlam brothers asked in disbelief.

“Why, testing you two of course. We had to make sure you could continue in our line of work,” Uncle Madoff responded. “Terribly sorry bout the episode with Rush, but it was necessary. You see, as saleponies, you have to be prepared for anything!” Uncle Bernie explained, both uncles circling around Flim and Flam. Their golden manes bristled gently from the light breeze, almost hypnotically. Uncle Bernie’s cutie mark was that of a bag of coins. Uncle Madoff’s coincided, his being a bank building. Their eyes matched a brilliant shade of silver, surveying the machine.

“What do you mean, dear uncles?” Flam asked. Suddenly the uncles softly flew up into the air and picked up their nephews. They set them onto the sofa of the Super Speedy Cider Squeezy 6000 (still going haha!) and grinned wickedly.

“Shall we give them a demonstration, ol’ brother?” Uncle Bernie asked his sibling.

“Ready when you are, ol’ boy!” Uncle Madoff replied. “You two need a lesson in presentation. How to shock and awe the crowd.” He clapped his hooves together, two canes and two top hats appearing out of nowhere for the uncles. They both cleared their throats (music time!).

“Let’s get down to business! To increase... our sales! Hoah!” the two green pegasi sang out, poking their canes at Flim and Flam. “Ya gotta be the best now! Or you’ll fall behind! It’ll be tougher than a dragon’s scale, but you can bet before we’re through. Somehow we’ll make salesponies out of you!”

Flim jabbed Flam’s side with his hoof, “This is the bee’s knees! Should we be taking notes?” Flam was about to respond, but the uncles continued their song.

“Salesponies! You gotta fib a bit, maybe scam ‘em! Salesponies! Make that final charge, cheat on taxes! Salesponies! With all the force of Equestria Stock Trade, mysterious as the back dealings of Lunaaaaaa!!!”

“But uncles, that all sounds like dirty business! Aren’t we honest salesponies?” Flam asked.

“Pfft! Honesty schmonesty! You might as well take that idea to the bank and cash it for the one bit it’s worth!” Uncle Bernie retorted.

Uncle Madoff guffawed in agreement, “To get by in this world, you gotta do what ya gotta do! Even if that means putting down another pony. Just remember, you always have each other!” He put a leg around his Bernie’s shoulder to make a point.

Flim nodded and looked over at his brother. “Flam, are you thinking what I’m thinking?”

Flam grinned. “I sure am, Flim, it’s time to be salesponies!”

The uncles high-hoofed each other. “That’s the spirit boys! Now sing it with us!” they shouted out, lifting Flim and Flam off the couch and back onto the ground. Uncle Bernie gave them the canes while Uncle Madoff filled a cloud with bits and pounded it to rain money upon their nephews.

The four sang out in fortissimo, “SALESPONIES! You gotta fib a bit, maybe scam ‘em! SALESPONIES! Make that final charge, cheat on taxes! SALESPONIES! With all the force of Equestria Stock Trade, mysterious as the back dealings of LUNAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!” To make the moment even more grand, the uncles lit off fireworks behind them to capitalize the scene. Streams of green and golden light showered the evening sky, what a sight!

They all laughed together, the uncles saluting their nephews. “Now you know what you must do! Go get ‘em fellas!” Uncle Bernie and Uncle Madoff sounded off.

Flim and Flam saluted back at them. “Absolutely, uncles! Look out Equestria, here come the World Famous FlimFlam Brothers!” they harkened, powering up the Super Speedy Cider Squeezy 6000 to carry them forth to the next town.

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Author’s note: I’m not gonna lie, I had a ton of fun writing up Rush La’Dush’s character. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t hate crazy people, I just have a lot of fun with them. I work in retail in a small town, so I get it a lot. Anywho, if anyone makes a drawing of Rush La’Dush, YOU WILL BE MY HERO FOREVER! Seriously, isn’t the mental image of him just the goofiest thing you’ve ever seen? Especially when he threw a cabbage at the post office, oh man! Classic! For reals though, I will totally compensate with something awesome to whoever does!

One last thing, if you figured out the “Salesponies!” song was really “Let’s get down to business!” from Mulan (I know, wasn’t that hard, but still!) you win 20 points. 25 extra points if you started singing along to the real song. I hope you enjoyed this next chapter, please share and comment! I DASH YOU!

Flim and Flam cruised on their Super Speedy Cider Squeezy 6000(the name that never gets old!) through Mane Street of Fillydelphia, a surge of confidence present in both brothers. Such was the case of course; their uncles had done a superb job of motivating them and teaching more about being salesponies. The sun was slowly setting on another day, but the night crowd was already out and about. As the machine came to a stop on the corner, a few ponies glanced up to see what the hubbub was, but continued on their ways. Flam raised his eyebrows in confusion, surprised that they were dismissed so easily. “Something tells me they think they’ve seen it all, brother of mine,” he muttered.

Flim heard a shout from the opposite street-corner. He glanced over and immediately regretted it, prodding his brother to look as well. Flam narrowed his eyes to see what Flim was pointing to. Upon realization, his mustache drooped significantly. “Mother of Discord,” he whispered. There, perched upon a precariously balancing tower of carriage wheels, was their crazed heckler from Palamino, Rush La’Dush.

“MY NEW CARRIAGE BRAKES ARE REALLY COOL! YOU’RE NOT EVEN GONNA BELIEVE IT!” proclaimed the insane pony. He hopped down from his nest of wheels to encroach a nearby unicorn. “Let’s say you’re on a carriage ride with your family. You’re riding along, la-de-da, woo! All of a sudden there’s a bunny in the middle of the road! And you hit your new carriage brakes. EERRGGHH!” Rush punctuated, stopping himself before slamming into another pony. “Whoa, that was close.”

Rush madly chuckled as he picked up a damaged carriage wheel. “Now what happens when you’re riding with the “other pony’s” carriage brakes? You’re ridin’ along, ridin’ along, the little foals start yelping from the back seat, ‘Dad, I gotta go to the bathroom!’ And you’re like, ‘Not now dang it!’ Uh oh, little bunny on the road. EERRGGHH! ‘OH NO, I CAN’T STOP!’ Suddenly your carriage rockets off the cliff. ‘AAAHHH!’ BAKOOM!” Rush sounded out, crashing into his tower of wheels.

“And your family’s hollering, ‘Oh Celestia, our carriage is ruined!’ ‘No! I can’t feel my hooves!’ Here comes the paddy wagon, WEEOOWEEOO!” Rush shouted, the crowd around him in complete shock and disbelief at this spectacle. He scooted on the ground with his legs flailing about.

“The doc gets out and wails, ‘Rainbow cupcake factory!’ Meanwhile the new colt is around the corner, crying his flank off, ‘Bawwhoohoohoo!’ And all this happened because you wanted to save a few bits instead of buying one of my carriage brakes!” Rush yelled. His eyes spun wildly at his spectators as he waited for a response. Despite the usual commotion found in Fillydelphia, the whole city seemed to be silent from Rush’s pitch. Even the local crickets were terrified to make a noise, nothing could have been prepared for this madness.

A certain bigwig happened to be amongst the bewildered ponies, he himself being just as shocked. Hoity Toity started shaking his head in an attempt to bring reality back to his senses. “Egad, that was simply horrid! Somepony do something about this, I can't go on!"

Flam smirked. This was going to be too easy now. "Fear not my good sir! A glass of refreshing cider would return your mind from this hoodlum," the mustached unicorn proposed. He stepped forward and led Hoity Toity over to their table.

"HOLD IT!" Rush shouted, jumping in front of the two. His mane had somehow straightened out completely to reveal his frighteningly serious face. "These spies are trying to mindjack all of you! They'll just steal your money and launch your fillies to the moon!"

"Gah, get back you fiend!" Hoity Toity pushed him out of the way and refocused his shades. He threw a bag of coins at the twins and grasped a mug. "Here's my money, I need a drink!" Hoity proceeded to chug the cider immediately. He whinnied when he finished, shades flying off his head and a wide grin on his face. "MAGNIFICO!"

The twins smiled at each other and beckoned the crowd to come forth. "Come one, come all everypony for our delectable and delicious cider!" Several began to canter over, but Rush stopped them yet again.

"I'm warning you! They bring doom! DOOOOOOM! DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMMM(house)!" the earth pony cried out. He flailed his head about in an awkward attempt of emphasis. Although no pony can see how Rush's brain ticks (must be the delicious swirls in his breakfast cereal), it was clear that he was bound and determined to stop the FlimFlam brothers. Some ponies might say it was an oath he took upon himself, other ponies would argue he was just looking for entertainment. Frankly, it's just because he is nuts.

Flim grinned and hopped back onto his sofa. "Well everypony, who are you going to believe? Us?" he asked, pointing to himself, Flam, and Hoity, "or Senor Psycho?" He shook a questioning hoof at Rush.

"You see ponies... at this moment you can choose, with us you've got nothing to lose. Your friendly salesponies are here right now, you're gotta trust the brothers FlimFlam. You've gotta trust the brothers FlimFlam, fillies, you've gotta trust the brothers FlimFlam!" our proud heroes sang boisterously, the surrounding ponies now enthralled by this new show.

"Our friendly salesponies are here right now, we're gonna trust the brothers FlimFlam!" they sang in chorus.

"Let's sell some cider, brother of mine!" Flam hollered to Flim. The Fillydelphians suddenly stampeded to the table, eager to purchase this coveted drink. The world famous duo rapidly distributed out mugs as the bits started pouring in.

"Why should we go thirsty? When we have cider squeezed. Better hoof up and get a mug, you've gotta trust the brothers FlimFlam. You've gotta trust the brothers FlimFlam, fillies! You've gotta trust the brothers FlimFlam!" Flim and Flam belted out in harmony.

"Better hoof up and get a mug, WE'RE GONNA TRUST THE BROTHERS FLIMFLAM!" echoed every pony in town, mugs raised in toast. They instantly drank down every last drop, sparkles of satisfaction in their eyes.

"We did it, Flam! Put 'er there, partner." Flim said with a smile, his hoof extended.

Flam grinned at him, “Brothers don’t shake hooves, brothers gotta hug!” The two happily embraced. This accomplishment was certainly warrant of celebration. "We just can't stop here though, Flim, we gotta go even bigger." he stated and pointed to their giant pile of bits atop the Super Speedy Cider Squeezy 6000 (if I had a bit for every time I said that).

To their dismay, Rush suddenly appeared mere centimeters from their faces. "You may have won this time, but hear this! When your day of reckoning comes, you will be found begging. Your tyranny and trickery will build about to swallow you up and you will shout out 'Save us!' And I'll whisper... AFLAC!" Rush yelled, madly chuckling as he galloped away.

The brothers stared at his departing form in stunned silence. "Next town, brother?" Flim asked.

"Next town."

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(Notes: Sorry this took a while, got busy with research papers and work. A few more pop (I use that loosely) culture references, the song being a parody of sorts from "Pick a pocket or two" of 'Oliver'. Other tributes you'll probably recognize, yep yep. Thanks for the comments and I hope you enjoy this chapter!)