"Hey, Tavi! Check this out!" Vinyl shouted, tossing the newspaper on the table on her way to the fridge.

"I didn't know you read the paper, Vinyl," Octavia said, raising an eyebrow and sipping her tea while looking down at the front page.

Immediately, she spat her breakfast tea all over the paper. "WHAT?!"

"I know! Isn't it amazing!?"

The Canterlot Trumpet

Legendary Battle Cellist Cheravina Kaiser the II challenges Princess Luna!

By NW

The challenge, issued last night after the concert which famously ended with the arrival of several police officers, the entire fire department, and unexpected but welcome support from the royal guard, has been issued in Kaiser's typical over-the-board fashion, was delivered via an impressive graffiti in the courtyard of Canterlot Castle.

The graffiti depicts a pony skull, serpents and a cello wrapped in hellfire over the words "REALITY IS MY BITCH". The already infamous logo and motto of the violent, hard-rock battle-cellist, was meticulously painted over a surface of 30 by 30 feet just in front of Princess Luna's tower. It was then punctuated by the challenge itself, written in letters intended to emulate dripping blood: Nightmare, I'm coming for you!

Apparently unimpressed by her previous opponents, Crystal Demon Shard and Draconis Volcanus (who is still in the dragon kingdom recovering from the last battle-concert) our very own Canterlot berserker cannot keep her hooves to herself or her cello and instead has probably crossed the last line a cellist should cross if they expect to live past next Sunday.

Captain Shining Armor was unavailable for comments, possibly due to the concussion he suffered last night during the after-concert riots. But Princess Cadence, visiting from the Crystal Kingdom assures us that he just smells of the beer canister that was dropped on his head and he is on his way to a loving, speedy recovery.

Princess Luna had no comment for us, but it is this reporter's impression that she is very excited at the prospect of a hard-rock musical battle, due to the megalomaniac laughter that we could all hear through Canterlot Castle.

Has Kaiser the II finally chewed more than she can swallow? We can only wait and hope we survive.

Octavia looked green. "Wh-why would they do that?!"

"I don't know," Vinyl said, plopping up on the chair across and digging into her cereal. "But it's awesome! They say some of the old buildings might crumble!"

"It's stupid! That's what it is!" Octavia growled. "How can people even believe that what Kaiser plays is even music?! And a graffiti on the palace grounds?! What is this, Exit Through Canterlot?!"

Vinyl blinked. "You watched that movie?"

"That's not the point! Why, I should—"

Riiiiiiiiiiiiing

Both mares stopped and looked at the phone on the kitchen counter. Vinyl curiously, Octavia with a rising look of horror in her face.

Riiiiiiiiiiiiing

"I'll get it!" Vinyl said, levitating the phone up.

"NO!" Octavia shouted, tackling it in mid-air. "I GOT IT! I'LL TAKE IT!"

Vinyl looked at her friend in bewilderment as Octavia turned around so she wasn't facing her.

"Yes?" Octavia whispered.

"TAVI!" The voice on the other side made her head ring. "THAT WAS BEAUTIFUL, BABE! I Didn't know you had it in you! Challenging Princess Luna, THE Axe-guitar Nightmare herself! That's a stroke of genius! I wish you had told me earlier about it!"

Octavia cringed, covering the speaker with her hoof and looking at Vinyl, making sure the mare hadn't heard anything. "B-but I didn't—"

"Babe, you've got to head to the studio NOW. Everypony is waiting for you. I have to admit, when we plucked you off the street to cover for the late Kaiser the II I didn't expect you to surpass her at every turn! You're a natural born killer, babe!"

"Please don't say that."

"Oh, don't be shy and humble! You are! Now, we'll be expecting you in an hour! Don't be late! We need to prepare for this one!"

"Bu—" Octavia stared at the phone as the line went dead. "But I didn't..."

"So..." Vinyl asked, drinking up the last of the milk in her plate. "What was that about?"

"Uh... the conductor wants me in for practice today... something about a M-manehattan concert..."

"Cool! Well, you go ahead, then, I'll be rounding up ponies for the concert this Sunday!" Vinyl grinned. "I gotta tell you, Tavi, I never believed you when you told me that Cello music could be amazing until Kaiser the II came up with it!"

Octavia deflated. "Oh. Sure."

"Anyway," Vinyl stood up. "I'll catch you later!"

Octavia nodded dumbly and watched her friend leave the premises. She then started banging her head on the wall. "I'm dead. I'm dead. I'm dead. Oh. Fwording Luna's anatomy moist sensation of fwording I'm dead!"

To be Continued?

Author's Notes:

So... I was walking down the street listening to Apocalyptica, and I was thinking... wouldn't it be cool if Octavia were drafted into a heavy-metal cello band and she had to lead a double life? And this whole thing sorta formed in my mind.

I crossed the street and I realized this was the plot for DMC. But, what the hay. Any takers? This one is up for adoption.