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If You Can't Beat 'em, Eat 'em!

by MeowthRocket

Chapter 4: Exercising a Right

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It wasn't until the next day that Josh and Dash woke up from their slumber and, after a quick shower, the two of them with Meowth in tow had flown down to Applejack's farm where Big MacIntosh was waiting with his sister, Twilight, and Spike, as well as a big black exercise machine borrowed from the Mr. Heavyweight's Gym. But as they landed, Twilight couldn't help but notice the huge grin on the pegasus' already normally cheery face.

"Wow, Dash, I've never seen you so happy!", she commented, a grin spreading on her own.

"Yeah, what happened?? Did you get a letter from the Wonderbolts or something?", Spike asked.

All Meowth could do was look at the two lovers and grin, an action that didn't go unnoticed by the young dragon.

"Meowth, do you know something I don't?", he asked again.

"Let's just say dey found something not many o' us eva' find.", he smiled as he turned towards Big MacIntosh, "So have you gotten some exercises set up fer AJ and Dash?"

"Eeyup.", the colt drawled coolly, the single haystick hanging from his mouth like usual, "Got a set of cowsthenics all worked out."

"I think that's calisthenics, Big MacIntosh." The unicorn corrected the country colt.

"Ya know what I mean, Twi..", he muttered before turning to the teen, "An' I got YER exercise thingamajig set up too fer yer legs."

At this, all the ponies, Spike and Meowth couldn't help but look sadly at Joshs legs, an act that admittedly made the teen uncomfortable. He knew Big Mac and AJ had been helping him restrengthen his legs so he'd be able to walk easier after getting them operated on, a process they all know wasn't easy, especially from what AJ had told them about his crying from the effort.

"Yeah, thanks Big Mac...", he mouthed to the colt before turning to Twilight, "I appreciate you helping me set up this first part. Getting them in physical shape for this could be key."

"Pardon me for askin',", Meowth raised his paw, "But HOW does exercise like dis help wit' eating???"

"That there's very simple!", Applejack replied with a grin, "It.... uh.... it... well it....". It was then she realized she didn't know either! "Uh... Twi? How DOES this help us?"

The unicorn sighed, placing a hoof to her head, before she answered. "It's supposed to help build up your endurance so you two can eat more without getting tired. Right, Josh?"

The human gave a small nod before heading off past them towards the machine and getting on the device. Pressing his feet against a set of pedals and grunting as he stretched the weak muscles out, he spoke to them all with hints of effort in his voice.

"Eating lots... of foods takes more.... than just big tummies.... It takes.... energy to.... consume every morsel.... and get it into your belly... Otherwise you could.... end up passing out.... in a big cake or bowl... of clam chowder!"

At imagining that happening, the others couldn't help but giggle.

"I think that only happens in cartoons, Josh!", Applejack chuckled.

"Yeah, but that talk of clam chowder got me hungry! Is there any around?", Rainbow Dash asked, looking around eagerly.

"Easy, Dash, after the calisthenics there'll be a part of the training which will allow you both to chow down! But for now... Big MacIntosh, would you take it away?", Twilight asked the red colt, receiving a nod from MacIntosh before he blew into a whistle and barked at the two ponies, the both of them startled by the colt's unusually authorative voice.

"ALRIGHT! LET'S START WITH SOME SIMPLE JUMPING JACKS!", he barked to the cowpony and pegasus, "GET NEXT TO EACH OTHER AND MOVE IT!"

Without wasting a second, the two ponies were standing side by side, lifting their forehooves up and clapping them over their heads over and over!

"ONE AND TWO AND ONE AND TWO! COME ON PHILLIES, LET'S MOVE IT!!!"

"Jeez, Big... Mac... when'd ya'll.... get so...... forceful???", Applejack gasped out in between claps.

"I've seen those stories, Sis... I know what losin' this here competition would do ta Ponyville....", Big Mac replied, "I ain't ABOUT ta let years upon more years of the Apple family's harvests be consumed by that jerk!"

Meowth couldn't help but marvel at the change that had seemed to overtake the normally aloof colt. "Big Mac, I didn't know ya had dis kinda strength in ya!"

"You'd be surprised, cat-boy!", he replied, getting a dark look from Meowth, before turning back to the two mare and blowing into his whistle, "ALRIGHT YA TWO! PUSH-UPS! NOW!!!"

Obidiently, the two got on their bellies and started pushing against the ground, the sweat already starting to form on their heads.

"Applejack....", Rainbow Dash gasped, "What... have we gotten.... ourselves.... into?!"

"I..;. don't know!!", the cowpony replied with each pushup.

From their, the exercises only got more and more exhausting, from squats to jogging to trotting to stretches and all that laid inbetween. Twilight, Meowth, and Josh just watched in shock at the change that had seemed to overtake the normally placid Big MacIntosh.

"Dis farm means a lot ta him, don't it?", Meowth asked the unicorn, only to be given a reply from behind him...

"Yer dern right it does, catty!"

Looking behind him, the three bystanders found themselves looking at Granny Smith, bearing a wistful expression on her face.

"Sweet Apple Acres has been in the Apple family for generations upon generations. My great-great-great-great grandpa Ridington helped build it up from the dirt that lays below. Since then, it's been home to all sorts of Apple relatives. From Great Uncle Caramel Apple to Great Aunt Applecore to me and my late husband, Candy-Coat, to my daughter, Shine and her husband, Stem, all the way to my darling grandchildren! If that Champange pony were to win that contest and do what he's done to other cities in Equestria, our land may never recover its prosperous bounty!"

Twilight Sparkle, Meowth, and Joshua Rocket just stood there in total shock. None of them had heard the wizened grandmother mare speak so eloquently in a great number of years and for the latter two it was their first time hearing her speak more than just a sentence or two.

"C'mon, you didn't think this ol' mare didn't still have a way with words, did you?", Granny Smith grinned.

Josh merely ran his hand through his hair in amazement before he spoke, something Granny Smith had said ringing in his head. "So.... where ARE their parents anyway?"

At this, the old mare looked down at the ground. "They're away on business a lot, helping sell apples and goods all over Equestria, so I help keep watch over them. I know they miss their mom and dad, but they know it's all to help the farm and them have great lives..."

Meowth couldn't help but sniffle, Twilight having to wipe a tear from her eye.

"I never knew that...", the unicorn lamented, "No wonder she occupies herself with work so much..."

"Idle hands ARE the devil's workshop, you know...", Josh sighed as he watched Dash and AJ growing more and more exhausted from Big Mac's workout.

"ONE AND TWO AND ONE AND TWO ANDDDDDDDD REST!!!", he called out to the jogging horses. In unison, they collapsed onto each other, panting and gasping for air.

"Water... Water!!!", Rainbow Dash gasped out from the heat.

"Big Mac... ARE YOU CRAZY?!", the cowpony added angrily, "Starting us off like that??? Whatever happened ta startin' off slow and steady??"

"Sorry sis, but if we're gon' get you two ready in two weeks, we gotta do this fast and we gotta do this hard!!!", Big Mac barked out before he blew back into the whistle, "ALRIGHT FILLIES, PUSHUPS NOW! GO!!!"

As they collapsed back onto their hooves, Rainbow Dash and Applejack couldn't help but wonder what the hay they had gotten themselves into.

"Applejack....", Rainbow gasped with each push, "Remind me..... to kill.... Big Mac... when all this... is done!!!"

"Gladly!", Applejack agreed. It wasn't that the cowpony wasn't used to hard work and exercise, it was just being forced to do it in rapid succession that was zapping her, "Big Mac... will be needin'... ta sleep with.... one eye open!!!"

As she watched the two exercise, Twilight tapped her chin with a hoof contemptlatively before she walked over to the teen just getting off the exercise device and motioned for him to lean down, an act the teen obeyed without question, before she whispered into his ear. In between pumps, Dash and Applejack could see the two in conversation before the teen nodded and flew upwards towards the pegasis home.

"What the heck was that about??", Dash wondered as she looked at her lover taking to the skies before getting to her hindhooves and starting in on the jumping jacks that Big MacIntosh was commanding, "And how much prison time would I get if I knocked Big Mac out with my hoof...."
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After two hours of non-stop exercise, Rainbow Dash and Applejack were crashed out on the couch in the latters living room. Neither of them could breathe due to the massive exhaustion and it was all they could do not to fall asleep from their energy being drained.

"I... I never want to do another jumping jack as long as I live.......", the cyan pegasus groaned, "I thought training for an eating contest would just involve eating!"

"I hafta admit, Dash...", the cowpony reluctantly admitted, "I thought that too.... all that exercise has got me worked up a mighty appetite!"

"Well, the others told us to wait here for a little bit... hopefully, they're whipping up a little something for us."

Applejack couldn't help but let out a yawn, feeling her energy just about run out, and she tipped her hat over her eyes, "Whatever... just wake me up when they need us for more training."

With that, the cowpony let the last of her strength leave her and she slunk back onto the soft cushion. Yet the pony found that sleep wasn't ready to overtake her just yet and after laying back with her eyes shut for about 10 minutes, she gave up and tilted her hat back. Looking to her side, she saw the cyan pegasus hanging on the edge of the sofa, looking at nothing in particular and her interest grew piqued.

"Sometin' on yer mind, Dash?", she asked casually.

A small sigh was her response and the cowpony had a strange feeling the grin on her face when she'd flown down had something to do with her sighs...

"Dash, yer thinkin' about Josh, ain't ya?"

With a snort, Rainbow Dash scoffed and tried to play herself off as cool. "What?? Nah, I'm just thinking how much fun it's gonna be putting that Champagne in his place!"

"Dash, you can't fool this cowpony. I know that lovesick sigh anywhere!", Applejack grinned, "Now come on, tell ol' AJ the truth!"

Rainbow Dash debated trying to come up with another lie, but seeing the coy look on the cowponys face, she knew it was all but useless to hide anything from her. Applejack wasn't known as one of the most determined ponies in Equestria for nothing and with a sigh, she spoke.

"Applejack, I'm about to tell you something that you have to PROMISE me you will not tell anyone else! Not Twilight, Not Fluttershy, not even Meowth!"

The cowpony smiled. "Of course, Dash! You know I wouldn't tell your secrets! That'd be one quick way to lose you as a friend..."

"FOREVER!"

Hearing the loud voice of their pink friend, Rainbow Dash and Applejack looked in alarm at Pinkie Pie, looking over the back of the couch at them with a menacing look in her eyes as she slowly slid down into the non-existant abyss.

"How does she do that??", Rainbow Dash couldn't help but ask.

"If I knew, I'd tell ya!", Applejack replied, "Now come on tell me.... what's your secret?"

Finally, the cyan pegasus relented and looked at her earth pony friend before spilling her secret. "AJ... we made love last night...."

"You and Josh, right?", the cowpony reinterated for her own clarity.

Rainbow Dash gave a soft nod before she continued. "I asked him what love was like... and he told me it was being with the one that made you glad to be alive... I asked him if he would be my first and he said yes. He helped me achieve a bliss I'd never gotten before... and it felt wonderful."

Applejack merely gave a half-smile before she replied. "I knew it woulda happ'ned sooner or later. Good fer you, Dash."

At this subdued reaction, Rainbow Dash couldn't help but get surprised. She had done something never before done in Equestria and had sex with a human being... and here was her friend acting like it was nothing more than bucking a big apple tree. She'd half-expected her to hit her or chew her out for having such a relationship, but instead she'd gotten acceptance and praise....

"You're... you're not angry?"

"Why would I be?", Applejack asked in bewilderment.

"I just told you I had sex with Josh... a HUMAN! You're not gonna say that it's wrong or that it'll never work out or anything??? I mean you're the Element of Honesty!", Dash found herself sputtering out. But to her amazement, Applejack gave her only a calm smile.

"Sugah, Josh was flayed with'n an inch of his life by a group of nutjobs and has no family back in his world. As far as I'm concerned, short of burnin' Ponyville to the ground, he's free play. I'm sure everyone you told would agree. Am I concerned about what could happen? That's ta be expect'd! But I highly doubt anything horrible could come from you two being together. If you two are in love, then that's all that matters."

The pegasus found herself getting choked up by her friends kindness and before she could help herself, she'd given the cowpony a giant hug. Applejack was startled at first, but instead of pushing her away, she merely patted her friend on her back and smiled. In her heart of hearts, she was a little worried that one of them could get hurt. But she knew that a pegasus and a human making love and having romance had about as much chance of destroying Equestria as setting a fire in Pinkie Pie's toilet.

But as they shared a hug of friendship, they couldn't help but wonder...

Where had the teen flown off to and what had he been talking about with Twilight?

Next Chapter: Preparation Anxiety Estimated time remaining: 11 Hours, 19 Minutes
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If You Can't Beat 'em, Eat 'em!

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