Authors notes:
Holy shit, it's taken a while......
3 years since this story started and now we're FINALLY getting to the contest.
This is going out to everyone who has stood by me and understood that I've had to deal with a lot of tragedies that have kept me pre-occupied.
I know this may not look like the most polished, some parts being rushed, but I did the best that I could and I hope my reasons are understood.
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"I CANT..... BELIEVE........ IT'S HERE!!!!!!!"

As Fluttershy, Pinkie Pie, Twilight Sparkle, Rarity, Applejack, Rainbow Dash, Spike, Joshua, and Meowth all met up at Twilight's library, the feeling of palpable excitement surrounding them like a warm cloak. For some of them, it was just gonna be a day to spectate, try new foods, and cheer... for Pinkie Pie, Spike, and Meowth, it was gonna be a day of announcing (and for the latter a little heckling) and for a cowpony and pegasus... it was gonna be a day of judgement...

"We know, Pinkie, we know!", Applejack chuckled, patting her belly with her forehoof as they walked out of the tree book depository, "We know how excited you are!"

The change that had overtaken the Cowpony and the Daredevil was nothing short of insanity. Gone were their slightly pudgy tummies and smooth silky flanks... but now, they were more akin to being called Applestack and Rainbow Flab. Their bellies had grown to a size comparable of that of a set of bowling balls, making it so they they had to walk on their hindlegs just to move around due to their stomaches pushing them up off the ground like Tank on his back. It was a good thing that both of them weren't exactly strangers to bipedal movement, AJ doing more than her fair share of lifting and Dash experienced in cloud-walking. Their tummies had gotten to the point where their belly-buttons had popped into outies, leaving Meowth to crack that he didn't even KNOW they had navels! They'd even developed a set of modest flabby breasts, or as Pinkie Pie called them "floobs".

But their physical changes hadn't stopped with just thier fronts... their flanks had lost their normally modestly rotund size and now sat out like, as Meowth again as been quick to point out, "two pigs fighting over chocolate candies." The groans he'd gotten at that comparison may have been plenty... but they were all true. Even after the big B.M. they'd both taken earlier that morning, both of them were still wielding beanbag buttocks covering holes the sizes of tennis balls. And the final weigh-in... Twilight hadn't even been able to GET a reading! It was like the final indication that they were ready for this eat-off of epic proportions.

"Again, I'm REALLY sorry about breaking your scale....", Rainbow Dash blushed, her chubby cheeks turning red, "And the chair.... and the toilet...."

"It was a porcelain toilet!!!", Spike just marveled, "I had rampant diarrhea for 25 hours once and THAT didn't break it! You sit on it ONCE to poop and BAM!!!"

"Yeah...", Josh winced, "Very lovely." The teen was still going on over 120 hours of no pure sleep and it had taken 10 triple-decker soda shakes and 4 whole sugar cakes just to keep him alert..... and these were the types of cakes that could have given Pinkie Pie enough power to keep her up for a MONTH! "We said that if we win, we'll use some of the winnings to pay for new plumbing... and to clean off your bathroom floor."

The unicorn just groaned, remembering the pile that had been left on her bathroom floor amidst the remains of what had once been a solid waste receptacle.

"Well, it had to come out.... and as it was I could only get out a little!"

"Well with all you two have been eating, I'm not surprised you're constipated!"

"Girls... please...", Fluttershy quivered, "We're all stressed out.... let's not lose it before the contest..."

Josh sighed and nodded as he sipped from his sasparilla drink. "She's right. We've got this far...... It's time to put all the training and pain..... to fruition."

You've got your ball
you've got your chain
tied to me tight tie me up again
who's got their claws
in you my friend.

For all of them, the past two weeks had been nothing short of an emotional roller coaster. From pure glee at large amounts to food to heartbreak at seeing loved ones die to even full-blown mental psychosis from head trauma, they'd all experienced feelings in such a rapid succession it was a miracle none of them were babbling like madponies.

Into your heart I'll beat again
Sweet like candy to my soul
Sweet you rock
and sweet you roll
Lost for you I'm so lost for you

Yet as they journeyed towards the center of Ponyville where the main festival was to be held and the EWREC was to take place, all of them felt their senses and worries reaching feverish pitches. It was almost as bad as when Twilight nearly had to go to that alternate world when a thief stole Celestia's crown and tried to hide through a magic mirror. It was only by an intervention by Luna she was prevented from having to do something so gastly and even then, she didn't stop her shaking until the mirror was in pieces and all contact from the alternate world was gone.

You come crash into me
And I come into you
I come into you
In a boys dream
In a boys dream

"Girls, this... this is so nervewracking...", Twilight trembled, "Applejack, Rainbow Dash... how are you two not sweating buckets by now?"

"Whose ta say we ain't, darlin'?" the cowpony replied, her voice just as uneasy, "But we can't go into the festival shaking like leaves.... We gotta go in there strong!"

Touch your lips just so I know
In your eyes, love, it glows so
I'm bare boned and crazy for you

"Yeah!", Rainbow Dash added, "Our bellies are empty and ready for consuming! This is it, show time!"

"I still can't believe they wouldn't let me enter...", Spike grumbled, crossing his arms across his chest, "Just because I'm not a pony!"

"Spike, dragons aren't exactly known for being picky eaters. If you were allowed it, you'd wipe the floor with all of the other entrants!"

When you come crash
into me, baby
And I come into you
In a boys dream
In a boys dream

At this, Spike couldn't resist blushing in spite of his irritation. It was true he could put down a mighty mound of food without even the slightest of stomachaches... except for that one time with all that ice cream. But he was still peeved that he wasn't allowed to compete.

"Look at it this way!", Pinkie Pie chirped, "You're getting paid to commentate with Meowth and I!"

"Well..."

"Yeah!", Meowth cheered, "Plus dey said I could do hecklin'.... dat's gonna be so cool!"

If I've gone overboard
Then I'm begging you
to forgive me
in my haste

Applejack just chuckled, knowing Meowth and Spike had spent a couple days together riffing on classic movies and she could imagine that getting paid to heckle losing contestants would be cake for the cat-pokemon.

"Ya'll just make sure not ta go too deep, alright hun? I don't want any of them accusin' ya of bad things."

Meowth just scoffed. "Please..... ya really tink dey'll be up fer teasin' me afta' I tear apart Champagne? Hell, dey'll be PRAISING ME!"

When I'm holding you so girl
close to me

But none of them were in more thought and introspection that the lone human of the group. With tons of sugar running through his veins from all the sweets Pinkie Pie had provided, he had some sembanlence of coherency. But it didn't offer him much comfort, even as he held Dash's hoof in his hand. He just kept replaying the events... all that had happened in the past 14 days all through his head like a slideshow. He had become so lost in thought that at times, his eyes would glaze over and it took a yell from his friends to bring him back to his senses.

Oh and you come crash
into me, baby
And I come into you

"Josh!"

As Rarity yelled, the teen shook his head and looked back at the unicorn looking at him in alarm. Immediately, a wince came over his boyish countenance.

"I did it again, didn't I?", he asked.

"Like a zombie!", Meowth answered, making Josh look down at his soda, drained to the last few drops of black liquid, in embarrassment.

"Been over a week since I last actually slept..", Josh remarked in contemplation, "Even the sedatives and relaxants have stopped working...". He turned towards the unicorn walking next to him, his eyes meeting hers. "It's to where I almost feel like... THIS is the dream..."

Hike up your skirt a little more
and show the world to me
Hike up your skirt a little more
and show your world to me
In a boys dream.. In a boys dream

"It hurts, Josh... I can't imagine it not.", Twilight soothed, "But hopefully this whole ordeal will all be over soon..."

"I can only hope, Twi... All this chaos, all this perversion.... You know, it's almost funny..."

"What do ya'll mean?", Applejack asked curiously.

"When I first came to Ponyville, I told Twilight how I'd thought it woulda been all cutesy and saccharine.... yet now, I'd give anything for it to be just that...."

[Oh I watch you there
through the window
And I stare at you

The ponies just looked down at the remark, knowing dealing with overwhelming cuteness would have been a much easier undertaking than all that had transpired. They even wondered if, after everything was said and done, if any of them would ever be the same. It took Meowth speaking up to break them from their melancholy.

You wear nothing but you
wear it so well
tied up and twisted

"Hey! I tink I see it! I tink I see it!!!"

Looking up, they all noticed the large Equestria Food Festival rising in front of them, booths, rides, games, the whole nine yards... all in sight.

"Well girls..", Twilight remarked, "This is it... the grand festival.... AJ, Dash? You two ready?"

"READY!", the two ponies shouted in unison.

"Let's DO IT!", Josh pounded his fist in the air, "LET'S DO IT!!!"

the way I'd like to be
For you, for me, come crash
into me

And as they all entered the front festival gates and breached the festival threshold, it was then they realized that this was it... the moment of reckoning. Would they win... would they lose everything....... they were about to find out.......

Baby
Come crash into me...

Come crash into me...
Crash into me.........
Crash into me........

I'm the king of the castle
And you're the dirty asshole
Crash into me...
Please crash into me.

I see the way you crash
into me
I see the way you come
and crash into me....
Crash into me...
---------------------------------------------------------------
"You sure you're ok with coming here? I know this must seem strange..."

As Princess Celestia finished up her phone conversation, she felt a sense of excitement at what she was gonna do. Not only was she adding a little extra to the already heavy contest, but this was her chance to finally give peace to her fallen friends. She hadn't expected the being on the other end to be so willing to participate, but when she mentioned her friends being slain, they'd become a lot more receptive.

"Lady, I know what it's like to watch someone you care about gunned down in cold blood. It'll be an honor to perform and help you expose this bastard!", the intensive voice on the other end spoke up.

"Very well. I'll be there to bring you here in a few minutes...."

Hanging up the phone, the Princess looked at the watercolor painting next to her bed, one made by Pedal and showing her family and Celestia gathered as one, each colored in rainbows and with wide smiley faces. She had to fight back a tear and reached out towards the hoofpaint, her hoof outstretched as if trying to summon the family forth from the drawing, but lowered it as the knowledge hit her again like a knife.. that it was because of her that an entire town and family was destroyed, that a pegasus filly was left homeless and without the memories of her best friend. Twilight had always said she looked up to her as the epitome of everything right in the world.....

But after costing her colleague his life.... she, in her heart of all hearts, almost wished she could have died the day they were slain...

"Champagne.... if they don't erase you..... I will even if my life must end to do so... I won't let you hurt anymore of my subjects...... never...."
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"Holy Frijoles!!! Would you look at all this!!!"

Again, Pinkie Pie's exuberance was to be admired, her head going 100 miles a minute as it took in all the wonders of the EFF. From the whirly rides to all the colored boothes offering exotic and delicious foods to all the games set up, it was like she'd stepped in a little slice of heaven.

"It's beautiful!! It's so beautiful!!!", the party pony squealed as she zipped from booth to booth, trying desperately to figure out what to do first. This was what it had all been building up to and she was gonna live it up!

"Simmer down, sweetie.", Applejack coaxed her fellow earth pony, "We have a few things to do before we can start our fun... remember?"

The Element of Laughter pouted, but nodded in agreement as she and the rest of the group walked down the main dirt path. The whole festival had been set up akin to what Josh had told them was involved in the fairs back in his world. One section, named The Thrill Zone, had been fitted with a good many rides; from Zippers to Gravitrons to Fun Houses to Tilt-A-Whirls, to even a roller coaster, it all sat behind the gate, technician ponies manned at every control panel and bathrooms for those who overate and lost it on the more intense attractions, making it almost seem perverse to have them AT the festival in the first place. Another, referred to as The Midway, was fitted with every single midway game under the sun, all in brightly colored booths, manned by barker ponies, and all offering prizes like plush toys, paintings, outfits, even a couple shooting galleries offering guitars! Whether popping lightly-colored balloons with darts, trying to get baseballs into slanted barrels, or even something as simple as throwing rings onto sasparilla bottles, there was something there for every colt and filly to enjoy. The third section, known as The Cooking Pot, was where it was apparent that every pony chef, epicure, barbequer, everypony who ever picked up a set of cooking utensils, had set up stands to sample and sell their individual wares and delicacies. One booth, called Pinenuts Peanuts, was selling every kind of nut the Mane 6 could ever heard of. Another, labeled as Sweet Teeth Taffies, was offering chewy wads of sugar of all sorts, from salt-water to root beer to cherry to even buttered popcorn.There was even a booth called Meathead's Meats, complete with a giant grinder for making fresh sausage, although the front of it was boarded up with only a small hole big enough for ground beef to be put in, presumably to prevent any careless equine from falling into the grinder. For any pony to go there and say they couldn't find a single thing to eat, they would have had to have been the pickiest epicure in all of Equestria. But the main area... was something all on its own.

Called The Main Stage, a large wooden platform had been erected, standing a good 4 feet off the ground to where a siginificant amount of effort would have been needed to pull oneself on the wooden planks without using the two sets of stairs positioned at the sides. A large scarlet red, velvet curtain hung across the back on the large stages almost like what they would have seen at a low-scale puppet show or even at a freak show. The words 10TH ANNUAL EQUESTRIA-WIDE ROYAL EATERS CHAMPIONSHIP were emblazoned in silver fabrics along the middle of the large red carpted backdrop. A large row of foldout tables and chairs, 10 in all, had been arranged in a neat little row at the middle and a microphone stand and podium at the head. And not a few feet away was a second stage, just as high, but lacking the chairs, tables, and lettering, only holding a set of drums, a couple of electric guitars, a mic stand, and what looked to be a large rollout screen, similar to the ones in any basic chemistry class.

Altogether, the whole of the festival looked like nothing short of a bustling city and capable of generating a large amount of bits if put into the right hooves.

"How...... the Hell....... WAS PONYVILLE ABLE TO AFFORD ALL THIS!?", Josh blurted out in astonishment.

"The EWREC committee, they pay for all of the rides, games, entertainment... only thing we pay to put in are the foods for the contest and The Cooking Pot."

Meowth took a large sniff of the mixture of all the aromas filling the air and rubbed his pudgy belly hungrily. "Do we, since we're da commentators, do we get ta eat fer free?"

"You do, Meowth.", Fluttershy smiled, "Just... don't overdo it.."

But the words had barely left her mouth before Meowth, Spike, and Pinkie Pie had all sped into the main thoroughfare, leaving their friends looking on and shaking their heads in amusement, Josh running his hand along his crop of messy dark black hair. He was spellbound as much as the girls at how expansive and vast the festival was. Just like with his original thoughts of what life in Ponyville would be like, his first thought of the EWREC was just the contest, maybe a booth or two on the side. He wasn't expecting an entire damn carnival!

"If they go this wild for a festival..", Josh joked, "I can't imagine what they do for new years eve!"

At this, all the ponies started giggling and whispering and he didn't know why he felt it, but he KNEW what they were giggling about.

"You ponies get bombed just like humans do... don't you?"

"I wouldn't say bombed...", Twilight spoke up, "But I have been known to put away a tumbler of cider and stay up til 9:30!"

"Man.... you really ARE a dork, aren't you?"

Hearing a gruff voice from the distance, Rainbow Dash turned in expectation and the group found themselves looking at the coy visage of Gilda Dellarosa Clawden. The avian's arms were crossed defiantly across her white and brown feathered chest and her leg was tapping almost impatiently, waiting for their acknowledgement, her beady brown eyes scanning over the group of six as though they were nothing more than autograph-seekers.

"Gilda!", Rainbow Dash cheered, rushing the avian and giving her a warm hug, her friend in tow.

"But I thought ya'll went back to the city to get more rese--", Applejack started to see, but Gilda cut her off with a simple raise of her claw as the pudgy pegasus relinquished her grip on the gryffin.

"Ya really thought I'd miss the culmination of all the training and seeing the truth be exposed?? I ain't missing this for all of Equestria!"

Josh just chuckled and gave a salute to the gryffin, one returned in kind. "Just like a suicide, huh Gilda?"

Gilda cocked her head to the side, as confused as the others as to the comparison.

"Beg pardon?", Applejack asked.

"She's just as determined to see a life end."

This produced a round of groans from the group, especially from the subject in question.

"Disregarding that rather morbid topic..", Rarity spoke up, "It's wonderful that you came to watch the contest!"

"Hey, if I'm trying to rekindle our bond, it's only natural that I come and cheer them on! But where's the dragon, cat, and pink bubblehead???"

Other than a slight dirty look, Twilight shook off the insult. "They're in the Cooking Pot area, sampling the delicacies. Since they're doing commentary for the contest, they get to eat for free."

Gilda just chuckled, her wings to her side. "You do know they're gonna end up puking before the contest, right?"

"What... makes you say that?", Fluttershy trembled.

"It ain't rocket science, wimp. Free food and fast rides equals heavy vomit. It's almost perverse to have them in such a close proximity."

As much as they hated to admit it, it wasn't that unlikely of a scenario, especially knowing the fact that, other than Rarity and Shy, they were ALL fans of the thrill rides. But at the moment, Dash and Applejack knew that they had other important matters to attend to.

"So Gilda, any idea where we go to get all registered for this eatoff?", Applejack asked, idly scratching her snout.

"Was just on my way there to scope out the contest and see if that fucker, Champagne arrived... Follow me."

With that, the gryffin led the pegasus and cowpony away down towards the main thoroughfare, leaving Josh, Twilight, Rarity, and Fluttershy all looking at one another.

"Well I don't know about any of you, but I'm gonna do a little exploring, see if I can't find any exquisite dishes and recipes.", Rarity remarked before taking off towards the Cooking Pot section.

"Yeah, I'm gonna go with her..", Twiliught added, "Who knows, could find something good to make for Spike and I."

Watching the two unicorn take off, Josh and Fluttershy just looked at each other with a shrug, all thier friends now scattered throughout the festival and leaving just the two of them alone.

"Wanna go check out the Midway?", Josh offered, "My treat on the games?"

Fluttershy just nodded softly and let the human lead her into where ponies and dragons and creatures of all kinds were trying their luck at various games of luck, skill, and chance...

All the while they, and all their friends, knew that in a few hours the utlimate game of skill would commence...
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"I really appreciate you coming here... I know this is all very strange.."

"Princess, I've been all over the world... nothing comes across to me as strange any more."

The conversation between Celestia and her guest was a small, but blunt one. After meeting them at her castle, a chariot had brought them both down to the festival and to where the front gates stood.

"You've got a few hours until you go on... is there anything you want to do beforehand?"

"Eh, I'll just check this place out, see how you ponies live. I'm just impressed there isn't pony crap everywhere."

With a bemused look on her face, Celestia gave a small reply. "Josh said the same thing. Just meet Mayor Mare at the Main Stage in 4 hours. She'll get you and the band set up."

As her guest walked off into the thick of the throng, muttering in an impressed tone about "Pony musicians", she gave a sigh, realizing that this was it. In only a few hours would be the chance to finally avenge her fallen friends and reveal Champagne as the cold-blooded monster he really was.

"Champagne... I've never wished death upon anypony before.... but I hope you go down to the fiery depths....... and rot there for all eternity... You destroyed the lives of way too many of my loyal subjects... now... your judgement day has come."
-------------------------------------------------------
Back at the Midway, Fluttershy and Josh were scouting the games and trying to find one that was simple enough for the mild-mannered pegasi to attempt. The majority of the games looked challenging even for Josh and he didn't want the Element of Kindness to be made to feel like a fool because she spent all her bits at one single booth.

"Maybe.. maybe we should just go back to where Applejack and Dash are getting registered..", Fluttershy trembled, "There's so many ponies here... so much commotion."

"Shy, I'd imagine that there'd be commotion all over the place. From al the ruckus, I'm guessing this is like your equivalant of the Super Bowl or the Nathans Hot Dog Contest!"

"Super...bowl? Nathans?"

The look of confusion from the innocent pegasus was almost enough to make the teen squee. "I'll.. I'll tell you later..."

As they continued their stroll, the yellow pegasus began to feel the call of nature as the liter of orange juice she'd consumed earlier in the day was needing to come out and she crossed her hindlegs nervously. "J-Josh?", she quivered, "I.. I need to use the little fillys room..."

The human just chuckled at Fluttershy's nervousness. "Go ahead. I'll meet you at the balloon dart throw."

Nodding, the pegasus trotted towards the fillys bathroom as Josh walked away towards one of the booths. The trek to the toilets wasn't a long one and in less than 20 seconds, she found herself in a large room fittered with closed stalls, sinks, mirrors, even sounds of peaceful muzak going off to allow the ponies easier release of their wastes. Mercifully, one of the stalls was already available and she zipped in, closing the red wooden door and locking it before going to the large toilet and hovering her rump above the bowl, ready to sit down and do her business.

"Easy, Fluttershy... just sit slowly...", she coaxed herself, unused to peeing in a public bathroom, as she slowly lowered her flanks onto the porcelain seat, shivering at the coldness before sitting back and adjusting herself to where her juice-maker was opened right above the bowl. Pushing into the slight bulge in her tummy, she sighed in relief as her gates opened up and she began to pee, letting out the golden yellow liquid stored insider her. She was glad she didn't have to go number two, already feeling uneasy about urinating in such a public setting, but she knew it was better in a toilet bowl than risk wetting herself during the contest or holding it in until it built up acidic crystals in her bladder.

Soon she felt the last of her golden excess drip out of her labia and into the bowl of water below and she sighed in relief, patting her belly in relief and flushing the toilet. Hoisting herself off the bowl and opening the stall door, she trotted over to the sink and soaped up her hooves, scrubbing into her clefts to erase any evidence of her release. After about a minute, she rinsed off her hooves and dried them on a paper-towel before heading back towards the exit, all the while her mind was wrought with the thoughts of all that could happen.. all the possibilities.

She wanted nothing more than for them to win and save Ponyville, wishing that it was something as easy as just using the Elements of Harmony to purify Champagne.. but after seeing that news report.. how he was laughing at Joshs broken and battered body as blood oozed out of his eyeduct, pooling in his hands and leaving the poor boy looking akin to a zombie in a horror film, in her heart of hearts... she knew there was no other way....

She was so long in her thoughts she failed to noticed the approaching body and soon she collided with an approaching festival-goer, the two of them tumbling to the ground and groaning, the pegasi rubbing her head and whimpering a little.

"You ok there, little lady?"

The yellow pony started to reply as she turned towards the speaker, but as soon as her eyes met theirs, she felt her throat grow dry and her heart start to beat nearly out of her chest.

"You..... you're not a pony........"

The individual in front of her looked similar to Josh, only this human was a good foot taller to where they towered over the pegasus, their gray-black hair cropped neatly to their skull and ink markings covering their arms exposed by the black t-shirt bearing a white sun covering their top, a set of cargo jeans sheltering their legs. From the look on the humans face and especially in their red hot glare, this was an individual of intensity and rage, yet when they spoke... their voice was firm yet wise.

"So you ponies do use bathrooms just like us.... looks like your princess was telling the truth."

Fluttershy could barely squeak out a reply, making the human smirk.

"Yes...... we.... we.. do..... Who...... are you?"

"Just a guest of your majesty...", was their coy reply.

Before she knew what she was doing, the pegasus was letting out a high-pitched scream, one of fright and alarm. Immediately, the human clasped their ears to try and subdue the ringing as a group of ponies rushed forward in fright. In the throng of the crowd was the only other human in Equestria, one with concern in his tones and in his eyes.

"FLUTTERSHY! WHAT'S WRONG!?"

"L-l-l-l-l-look!!!!!"

Trembling, she pointed with her hoof and brought the attention of Josh and all the ponies to the other biped in the midst.

"Fluttershy, what are you---"

And it was then his eyes met with the other humans and the teen went slackjawed. The appearance of humans was no longer anything special to the other equine, but it was ironically the one other of his species that was the most awestruck, his throat going dry and his eyes twitching uncontrollably.

"You...... you're........."

"Josh... do you know this guy?!", one of the other ponies asked.

"I wouldn't be surprised....."

Hearing the man's strong voice, Josh looked up and saw him extending his hand.

"You're..... Henry Rollins.... the Black Flag singer....... I thought....... you were retired.."

"I was..", Henry nodded, "But your princess told me the situation... and that she wanted some special backup from our world.. and since I'm one of the carriers of the Warrior gene... she figured I could be of use."

"But.... you're in a world of ponies..... You're not even fazed!?"

"Josh, I've been in the business for 20 years, it takes a HELL of a lot to faze me.... and after being filled in on what this Champagne asshole's pulled off.. let's just say it took less than a bottle of bourbon to get me on board. But if you'll excuse me, I got a few hours before the contest starts and I'm looking to see what kinds of foods a place like this has. Look for you on stage!"

Without another word, the Black Flag frontman turned on his heel and walked off, leaving Josh and the group looking at one another in shock and bewilderment.

"Josh... who was he?", Fluttershy finally broke the silence, her voice tinged with a violent shake.

"He.... he's another of my kind.... He's seen the pain... he's seen the blood, the misery, the turmoil like I have....... Ungh...."

Suddenly, Josh clutched his head and vomited, a spatter of blood erupting out of him. He knew he was getting worse... If something wasn't done soon, he'd snap....

"Shy..... I'm... I'm... Get.... Get her out..... I..... Need it....."

Before Shy could say anything, Josh turned, still holding his head tightly, and staggered off, trodding through the puddle of red that had come out. The pegasi knew Josh was fighting down sleep deprivation AND the trauma to his brain..... The fact that he was even having trouble speaking.... it was a dire sign.... She turned and ran.... as fast as her hooves could take her.
-------------------------------------------------------------
"Alright, you're both all set! Just come back here in one hour so we can go over all the rules with you and the other contestants!"

As Mayor Mare finished taking down Applejack and Rainbow Dashs info, the two equine high-hoofed each other in recognition of the undertaking that would be in a few hours. The latter was dying to find her boyfriend and tell him they were set to go, but there was one thing she had to do first and the look she gave Applejack was one that read simply that it was something that she had to do alone.

"Ya'll wanna talk to her... doncha?", the cowpony asked, gently patting Dashs wing.

"I..... I gotta know why she came back.... there's something she's not telling us...."

Ever since they'd approached the sign-up stand, Gilda's contact with them had been distant, the gryffin looking almost entranced at the stage before them, as if deaf and blind to all the commotion about them. Not even when Derpy had dropped her cupcake on Gilda's talon had the avian shown any reaction and even the mail-mare had voiced her concern. The pegasi knew if anyone could get through to Gilda, it was her closest friend and confidante and it was with shaky, but determined hooves that she trotted up to the bird still looking at the EWREC banner as if transfixed by the white background and gold lettering.

"Gilda??"

It took a tap on her wing to finally get a response from her.

"Wha.. what is it?", she snorted, as if coming back from a deep sleep.

"Gilda, what's going on?? You've been quieter than Fluttershy since you came back to the festival. The whole time we were registering, you said nothing! Hay, when you were ridiculing us....... even SHY could tell your insults didn't have any venom! You didn't even attack Derpy when she dropped her sweet on you!"

Gilda didn't respond, but merely turned away sullenly before she let her voice, devoid of its normal swagger ring out.

"I..... was lying before........."

"Lying??", Dash scratched her chin puzzled, "About what?"

"When I said I wasn't homeless..... Champagne... thanks to him, I've been broke for months. I've scrounged up a little money doing odd jobs, but prizefighting... that was my bread and butter.... and thanks to him... I'm banned for life. Now the streets of Gryffindale... they're my home...... I'm always living talon-to-mouth, not sure when I'll manage to make enough for my next meal....... The things I've been forced to do to survive....... I've had to sell my BODY just for grub to get inside me...."

At that remark, the gryffin gnashed her teeth hard enough to crack a couple fillings and the implication was driven all the more clear to her and she covered her mouth in abject horror.

"Gilda..... Why didn't you say anything?!?"

"What am I supposed to say?! It's HELL to even remember... and when I got back to Gryffindale after I left Ponyville.... all I could think about was him at that restaurant... someone as cruel and depraved as him.... able to eat and eat and eat and never have to worry about laying his skull down with an empty stomach..... trying to take my one meager meal away from me......"

"But what about the pizzas?? You bought that whole order and even paid the delivery guy double!"

"...Dash, I get free food from there all the time. They used to sponsor me back during the fights. That money I paid him was what would have been their fee for my next contest... not to mention... the manager there........"

Rainbow Dash nearly vomited right at her talons when the realization of that struck her.

"And those dishes we had to barf up??"

"Zecora gave me the money for those. Rainbow Dash, I've got nothing. I'm......... I'm......."

Before Gilda knew what she was doing, she wrapped her arms around Dash and hugged her, tears welling in her eyes and starting to stream down her feathered face, the pegasus taken aback by the show of affection from the normally-stoic avian.

"I'm.... so....... fucking..... broken............"

This break in Gildas shell was something Rainbow Dash would have never expected in her entire life and all she could do was just hold the bird close, patting her back as she cried, getting the feeling this emotional breakdown was long overdue. The avian's body shook with the long-suppressed sobs finally being released and it was several uneasy minutes before she coughed out the last of her sadness and wiped her wet face on her wing.

"I'm sorry.... I.. I've never done that....", Gilda shakily sighed.

"Such is the price to try and stay 100% stone all the time.... Believe me, I know... It's why I'm glad that Josh came here...... he helped me break the stone......."

At this, Gilda looked at Dash with mass confusion all over her face. Shaking her head, the cyan pegasus tilted her head, gesturing for Gilda to follow her as she went towards the Cooking Pot.

"Before he came here, I was nearly immune to every emotion out there. I never cried, I never got scared... sure I got nervous when I was trying to perfect my Rainboom and Rarity had her wings, but I never felt fear or sadness or anything like that....... I was so consumed with my desire for speed and fame that I was blind to it all...... but then...... I saw him on that cross..... and for the first time in my life, I allowed myself to cry. It felt so raw and beautiful... like I could finally breathe.... and finally stop the charade..."

As perplexed as she was, Gilda could understand exactly where her friend was coming from. It wasn't that she had ever been narcissistic, far from it... it was more of her being uncomfortable with showing her insecurities, her sensitive nature. But now, she had a reason to cry... and a reason to actually feel... a human with scars on his body, wings on his back, and a wave of jet-black hair hung down to his blades.

It was like part of Dash had finally been brought to life.... all through the actions of one lone species...

"Dash..... does he know all this???"

".....Not completely."

I think you need to see him... now."

"Gilda??"

"You need to see him... tell him everything... If you don't... and he goes after Champagne.... he's not gonna be afraid of death... he'll think he's already lost everything."

Now I'll take the blame
So forget my name
Just close the blinds so I can come down

"Gilda, what are you----"

"He already thinks he needs to spill that bastards blood to clean the slate.... I think you and that cat are the only things keeping him SANE anymore.... he needs to know his impact..... he NEEDS to know how much he means to you......."

I'm naked and shamed
A moth to the flame
Just take my hand so we can both drown

Without another word, the pegasi tore off away from the avian and sped towards the Midway, the same place she'd remembered overhearing him and Fluttershy going to check out. Even though she'd gained a hefty amount of weight from all her training, her heart was seemingly propelling her into overdrive and she cleared the berth between the two sections within a matter of seconds. Raising her snout in the air, she sniffed around as if trying to detect the human's scent and sure enough, her nostrils caught the aroma of sweat and spice a few feet away, causing her to tear towards the direction of the odor. She could feel her heart pounding in her chest with every step she took.

I'll never believe in you again
I'll never forgive those things you said
My only release is gone and dead
I'll never forsake myself again.

Looking ahead, she could see him sitting on one of the benches outside the main gate, his head cupped into his hands and a large stream of crimson at his feet and down his front, coating his white coat and shirt into the color of a bleeding sun.

"Josh! Josh! What's going on????"

The same sweet game
Your halo is aflame
Feel my heart race
and breathe a sad sigh

Josh lifted his head slightly, still not looking at Dash. "I'm sick..... I.... I'm really sick...."

Let me wash away
And let go of the pain
Just look away
And turn a blind eye

"No sleep.... No food... no rest.....", Josh muttered, "I...... I did it all.... Rarity..... she was scared.... She didn't deserve to be hurt.... I.... killed another..... I...."

Rainbow Dash knew Josh's coherency was starting to fracture, a frightening sign of his deterioration. "You had to, Josh.... you had to save yourself.... and Rarity... she was out of her mind...."

".....I don't want this.... I don't want to be so scared.... To be torn like this.... between my heart loving you... and hating you for what I'm becoming.... Dash....."

It was then that he looked up and Rainbow Dash recoiled in horror at the sight of his face, his cheeks stained with crimson streams, his eyes wide and vacant, his mouth with specks of blood and froth pouring out.. he looked like something in his brain had erupted.

I'll never believe in you again
I'll never forgive those things you said
My only release is gone and dead
I'll never forsake myself again.

"I love you, Dash...... But.... I.... remember......"

Rainbow Dash just sighed and took a seat next to her lover, taking his hand into her hoof and nuzzling his fractured snout. "Shhh....."

"Dash..... In the hospital...... you mentioned.... Twilight..... She...", Josh paused, lurched, and heaved again, another wave of nausea and blood coming out as Dash rubbed his back.

"Josh.... You need rest...."

The teen spat out the last few crimson drops before turning back to her. "You..... have it?

I'll never believe in you again
I'll never forgive those things you said
My only release is gone and dead
I'll never forsake myself again.

So hold me down
If I feed I'm stronger
I don't feel no longer

So hold me down
If I feed I'm stronger
I don't feel no longer

Without a second thought, Dash reached into her mane and pulled out a small pill bottle, dumping a small white pill into her hoof.

"I do...."

"Thank you.... I need this..."

So hold me down
If I feed I'm stronger
I don't feel no longer

It was something she'd been saving for over a year, a gift she'd gotten from Twilight Sparkle on her birthday. A special medicine enlaced with rare herbs, ones that not even Zecora knew about, one that could give somepony or someone complete rejuvination in only a couple of hours... and Dash knew that was all that was left before show time. She'd been saving it for the day when she either got to have an audition for the Wonderbolts or go on the ultimate Daring-Do journey... but this trumped them both.

"Josh.... just.... before I give this to you... promise me one thing......"

"Yes.... Dash?"

Rainbow Dash leaned in, placed her lips onto Joshs..... and kissed him tenderly before she spoke.

"Please.... wake up. Wake up and stay...."

The human nodded and took the pill from her before popping it into his mouth and swallowing. It took less than a second for it to kick in and soon he slumped backwards, his brain shutting off completely.

I'll never believe in you again
I'll never forgive those things you said
My only release is gone and dead
I'll never forsake myself again.

Rainbow Dash wanted to cry at seeing the wreck Josh had become since his entrance into Equestria.... Each day there had become more and more of a struggle for the human brought there to try and impart wisdom, only to be met with cruelty and abuse. She knew in her heart not even Celestia or Twilight Sparkle could have seen what would happen, how the underbelly of their peaceful kingdom was starting to show itself and catching the 15-year-old in the throng. Every time he seemed to be making even a bit of progress, another trial was thrown at him almost like a warped joke. She had even begun to WISH her town was just as saccahrine and sappy as Josh had admitted thinking a land of Ponies would be, instead of revealing that corruption and bigotry was inescapable no matter what world they were in.

I'll never believe in you again
I'll never forgive those things you said
My only release is gone and dead
I'll never forsake myself again.

But she knew she had to leave him and let him attempt to sleep off his mental collapse or she'd start breaking down herself. Yet even as she reentered the fairgrounds, her head hung low and she struggled to fight off the tears that threatened to come out. She didn't care about trying to be fearless and cool all the time any more... none of it seemed to matter as much as trying to stay hopeful and sane in the cauldron of secrets and shame that this contest, something she had expected to be just a simple eatoff, had become. It was as if someone had taken a dagger to her heart... as if part of her was close to dying.

I'll never believe in you again
I'll never forgive those things you said
My only release is gone and dead
I'll never forsake myself again.

She sat down near the entrance to the gates and let out a small sob, a few tears of anger pouring from her sockets and dripping onto the ground. She held herself for a few moments, rocking back and forth. She felt sick to her stomach from all the stress, even more so than having eaten those baluts or overstuffing at Sweet Apple Acres had made her.... But she was tired of throwing up, she didn't even feel like there was another morsel of food in her that could come out.

"I just want this to be over...", she kept muttering to herself as she trekked back to the main stage, just wanting to find the warmup area so she could sit down and breathe in an attempt to regain her composure. Every part of her was torn by all the emotions flowing through her.. her stomach, her mind, her heart.... It wasn't until she had found her way back towards the registration booth and approached the shadows of her allies her thoughts were broken... in the worst way possible.

"Well look at what we have here.."

That sneering slimy tone, that feeling of disdain and depravity... she knew who it was...

"Champagne... why.... why are you doing this??"

The unicorn tugged onto her rainbow mane and spun her towards him until they were looking each other in the eye. "I could ask you the same thing, you stupid little whore. You think you have any shot in Hell at stopping me.. you OR that redneck pony friend?? You both sealed your fates when you had the audicity to talk back to your better.. You, your friends, and that freak of a boyfriend and his hairball... you are all going down..... and by the time all is said and done, there won't be enough left of your ratty little shithole of a town for a dragon to piss in!"

She didn't know what happened inside her, wether it was her own mental collapse or the sheer anger that she'd been forced to withhold since that first day.. but before the pegasus knew what she was doing, she'd raised her hoof back and clocked Champagne in the jaw, knocking him to the ground and getting a loud gasp from the surrounding group as she looked at the sky and let out a roar that could have made a cockatrice tremble.

"CHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMPPPPPPPPPAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGGGNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

The face that adorned her when she looked at the unicorn on the ground holding his jaw was one that could have broken even Fluttershy's stare. Her magenta eyes were fiery red to the point where flames had consumed her pupils, her teeth were gnashed and close to the point of cracking, her nostrils were flared and expelling steam and smoke as if from a volcano, and when she opened her mouth to speak, what came out was a voice emblazoned with rage and fire.

"Even since this training started, I have thrown up more times than I care to remember... bad foods, overexercise, overstuffing.... yet the one thing that makes me sicker than anything else.. is YOU... You... are nothing... you... are SHIT... You don't even EXIST to me!!!!!!!!!"

"You bragging little BITCH!", Champagne spat out a loosened tooth, "You DARE speak like that to ME?!?"

"You know what you are....", Dash seethed, "You... are a CANCER. A malignant TUMOR in the body of life! You spread your vileness in your lies and your deeds until you leave your victims SHELLS! All to fill the eternal VOID that SHOULD have been that tiny black organ YOU call a damn HEART!!!!!"

Dash’s breath quickened and blood pounded through her ears like drums. She had had enough to him... of all the hell.. all the shit... all the pain he was giving and THRIVING from.... The crowd was quiet as the building tension caused her vocal cords to strum on their own accord. Beginning as a mere whisper.

Degradation... Depravation....
I used to think they didn't exist...
Fun and food and friends by my side...
A life no one could resist…

Then her voice began to raise a bit more from a whisper to a tone that all could hear. Not a yell, but booming the surroundings, the Pegasus walking to the side almost to circle the downed creature who she had just struck down. Her voice was warped with obvious fury and nearly spitting out the last word like they burned her tongue.

But then you came with your smug little grin
And your words as cold as ice
The love and the warm was taken away
All by your sick vice

As her voice echoed louder, her head held high, Applejack felt her own voice spring to life. Almost confused in a quiet tone, she was almost completely overdone by Dash’s own voice and yet struggled to try and match. Hers only ended coming out as a mere echo. She stepped boldly from the crowd and added in as Dash completely faced Champagne, foot firm on the ground, looking tense like she planned to stomp him in to the dirt beneath,

You think nothing of using (Using)
Others, to get (to get)
What it takes for victory with NO regret
Leaving us out there (out there)
In the cold (in the icy cold)
With our hearts slowly growing worn and old!

Anyone who had imagined speaking stopped at the mere chord of Dash’s voice when she had rolled the word ‘no’ on her tongue, only to continue cutting in with the rest of the bitter words. They were like shards of glass, shattering is a pattern like a spider web, before the verse was over. She paused, panting, and lowered her head down in a threatening was while her voice also decided to drop.

Like pawns in a game,
Or rats in a maze,
You leave us all
In a horrified haze

Just as before, Dash’s voice steadily rose and she too rose her head proudly, not planning to be equal with Champagne.

Emotions and feelings,
Our lone heart beatings,
Nothing to you and your sadistic gaze!

Once again the tone was at its height and Applejack now fully stepped out by Dash, who looked back to her in a brief look of acknowledgement before they both looked down to Champagne’s frame.

You think nothing (Nothing at all)
Of using us (Us)
To get what you want no matter the cost!
Even if it means (if it means)
Death and Decay (Decay)
For you it's just another Celestia-damn day!

Dash held the last word a second before dropping it. The voices silenced, her lids lowered in a disgusted look as Applejack continued to hold her voice like a song. Dash’s voice sounded almost like she was talking, so quiet and flat, bluntly speaking.

(Champagne.....)
You have no heart and soul.
Champagne....
Death and destruction is your only goal.
Champagne....
You laugh and you cheer as we all collect.
Champagne...

“But In the end,” Dash simply stated before her voice rose once again in an unleashed blur of overwhelming anger, “it will be you whose life is wrecked!”

The song hit its height while falling back into the same rhythm. Both Dash and Applejack noticed that some of the others were stomping their hooves. Almost like they were tapping their feet, but feeling the same anger, and now merely keeping the beat as the same drumming of pounding blood poured through Dash’s ears.

Now we're here! ( Now we’re here!)
At the games! (the games!)
Going throughout the course and the shame!
And when all (All of it!)
Is said and done (finished!)
You'll be the one going HOOOOOME!

Dash almost smiled in a sinister way as she moved her limbs to do a mock dancing pose.

So let's dance! (let’s dance!)
In this den! (Den!)
And start this most Dangerous game!
Til' we fall! (Fall down!)
Into the one! (into the One!)
Leaving your ghost the one left to ROOOOOOOOOAM!!!!‏

Then the area fell silent. Both Dash and Applejack’s voices dropped to nothing until Dash stepped forward. Staring down at Champagne, an empty look stretched across her face, and then she murmured, “And then, you’ll die alone…”

With that, she spat one more time at Champagne's form and stormed off, leaving the crowd stunned, half of them looking at Dash and the other at Champagne on the ground.

"You insipid little wench...", he seethed, "Your demise will be the sweetest cherry of all..."
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
Back at the Thrill Zone, Pinkie Pie, Spike and Meowth were busy chowing down on all the succulent and tender sweets and foodables they'd gotten for free as judges, the sight of all the rides going and ponies having a great time acting as a calmant to their stomaches. From Edna's Krab Apple's to Honeycut's Honey Bread to Flim and Flam's Improved Cider, it was all delicious, each in their own way... as well as a great chance for them to get to know all the other cooks and bakers in their kingdom.

"Mmmmm!", Spike moaned as he tore into another slice of honey bread, some of the amber juice dribbling down his scaly chin, "This.. is the best job EVER!"

"I don't tink I've eva' eaten so much!", Meowth purred as he slurped down another of Freezey-Freeze's Slush-Drinks, "Not in any o' my nine lives!"

Pinkie Pie couldn't resist a giggle as she polished off her thick wheel of spun sugar, using her tongue to lap the whole of the busheled confectionery like a vacuum. "Sweetstuff really knows how to stir a good web of sugar!"

As the three of them snacked happily on their perks from their job as judges, Spike took the time to ask Meowth something that had been on his mind since when Josh had been brought into their world.

"Meowth.... where did you come from???"

The cat-pokemon just calmly slurped on his drink, although from the sounds growing slower it was apparent that Spike's question hit a nerve.

"Meowthie?", Pinkie Pie asked, "Are you ok?"

Finally he set down his cup of rainbow slush and clasped his paws in a ball above the bulge in his stomach before he spoke, his voice soft and shaky like a surgeon's scalpel. "I..... I don't rememba'...."

"Huh??", Spike looked at him, an invisible eyebrow raised in perplexity.

"I don't rememba' much about my creation... just being given to Josh when he was a baby and spending a lot of time in a research laboratory.... everything else is a total blank..."

An uncomfortable silence filled the air as Meowth went back to slurping from his drink, Spike and Pinkie Pie looking at each other in tension.

"You two are luckier than you'd think. Pinkie Pie, you've got not one but TWO families who love you and treasure you... Spike, you've got family all over Equestria of all ages, some who'll live forever.... I have nothin' but a friend whose succumbing to duress brought on by a psychopath and a group of bigots who'd rather see him used for medical experimentation! I know he's got Dash and I should be happy.... but I'm not... I don't wanna be alone! Do you hear me Spike? Do you hear me Pinkie Pie? I don't want to be forgotten......."

The dragon and the element of Laughter just looked at each other sadly, knowing exactly where Meowth was coming from. The few times Josh had been more coherent and happy since the whole of the training began had nearly invariably been with his lover, and they'd both dealt with instances of their friends being taken in by new faces... Spike with Owlalicious and Pinkie Pie with that fellow party planner, Cheese Sandwich....

In fact, the pony could swear she hear the sounds of calliope just thinking about him...

"Somethin' on your mind, my party lass? Anything a mysterious stranger like me can help with?"

Turning around, the 3 found themselves looking at a sight that brought giggles to the faces of the equine and the dragon. It was a shadowy pony dressed to the seemingly subtle nines in a charcoal gray derby hat and poncho, yet the bright orange hue of his coat stood out as a stark contrast to the drab getup that Pinkie Pie in particular knew was just for show. In fact, his poofy brown hair, nearly as bouncy and fluffy as her own prevented the covering from doing its job at all and the half of a grilled accordion-like sandwich was all the indication of the pony's identity and it was all Pinkie Pie could do to keep from squealing in excitement.

"Cheese Sandwich! You came!!!"

Without wasting even a moment of hesitation, the party pony tackled the stranger and gave him a big bear-crusher hug, causing his hat and shawl to fly right off and reveal his banana-yellow coat and red saddlebag, a rubbery prop chicken hanging comically halfway out.

"Easy, Pinkie Pie!", Cheese smiled as he gently pushed Pinkie off and straightened himself, "You didn't think I'd miss this did you? Seeing the recipient of one of OUR best birthaversary bashes in action against a braggart!"

The smile faded from Pinkie Pie's face as quickly as it appeared and Cheese Sandwich may have been a joker, but he was no idiot. He could tell he'd hit a raw nerve.

"He's... done some really bad things, Cheese."

The orange jokester bowed his head in acknowledgement. "I know what he's done, Pinkie Pie. But to let sadness overtake us now... That would just playing into his doughy and unrefinable hooves! Probably gets yelled at the zoo by monkeys!"

Pinkie Pie couldn't help but laugh, knowing Cheese had a thing for saying whatever he could to break the tedium of the norm. It was then Cheese's attention was brought to Pinkies two younger companions and a coy and jubilant smile sprawled on his face.

"And who are these two by you?", he asked with a bounce even in that simple question.

"Oh!", Pinkie's attention was finally brought back to the younglings she had been with, "Well you've met Spike before..."

The dragon was still giggling over the monkeys comment to himself and was left to be caught off-guard by Cheese Sandwich offering his hoof.

"As the ponies in Prance say "Excuse me, but hello!"

Snorting and giggling even more, Spike took Cheese's hoof before he turned to the feline of the group.

"And who might you be?"

Before Pinkie could introduce him, the cat-pokemon did the job for her. "Name's Meowth. M-E-O-W-T-H. Dare I ask why da heck ya gotta name like Cheese Sandwich?"

"Well I'd tell you, but then I'd have to ki---" It was then Cheese stopped midphrase, knowing that at the moment in time it wasn't the best choice of words, "I mean, what seems to be the trouble?"

For the next 20 minutes, Pinkie Pie just sat there and told Cheese Sandwich the recap of everything that had happened since the first meeting with Champagne, some parts producing winces and others gasps of horror from the normal happy-go-lucky pony. When she got to Josh having been forced to take the pony's life to protect his own, Cheese took his rubber chicken and held it over his heart in solemn solidarity.

"That poor kid. Being human in a world like this is hard enough, but to have to do something drastic...."

"I don't know if Josh will ever get over it...", Spike added, getting a rueful jab from Meowth, "What?!"

It took another few minutes for her to wrap her story up in typical Pinkie Pie fashion.

"And then Meowth told us he didn't want to be forgotten and you came behind us and I tackled you and you asked what was wrong and I started to tell you about how we met Champag---"

"HE GETS IT!", Meowth covered Pinkie's mouth.

"Indeed I do.", Cheese nodded, "Sounds like you're worried about becoming yesterday's cat-litter. Same thing happened with Pinkie Pie, Me, and Rainbow Dash's Birthaversary!"

"But then Cheese told me how he never wanted to take my place, but wanted to JOIN me! Since then, we've been like bestie-best-best friends!"

Meowth just looked at the two party-throwers and rubbed his head, a small headache forming from both of their rapid deliveries. "So...... what ARE ya doing when yer not throwing parties and speaking like a rabid mongoose?"

Cheese smirked at that. "Rabid mongoose, I have to try that one sometime.", he said to himself before turning back to the feline. "I'm practicing new tricks, new jokes, and even new recipes! In fact...."

It was then Cheese stepped back aways and cleared his throat and immediately, Pinkie Pie knew he was about to start singing.

Why just the other yesterday
While strolling down the block
I came across a little house
Selling produce by the flock!

But one such ware they had to show
Took my heart by surprise
One taste of it and I felt something change....
DEEP DEEP DOWN INSIIIIIIIIIIIDE

A blast of cheery calliope music filled the air almost on cue as the pony begin to belt out his tune, other ponies gathering around to watch the spectacle.

It was no simple condiment
No standard tasty treat!
It was a food so rich and good
It could never be beat!
It brought tears down from my green eyes
Knocked off my purple socks
And even managed to straighten out my gum-entangled locks!

It was no simple mustard
It was no tomato squeeze
No my friends from A to Z
It was no salt.. It was my cheese!

With a flourish that could have rivaled that off a great circus showman, Cheese reached into his bag and pulled out a large white and orange cylinder container in the shape of the same kind of can normally used for things akin to whipped cream. Traces of an orange residue rested along the tip of the spray and the words CHEESE SANDWICH'S CHEEZE-WHEEZIE in bright red coloring were very much readable along the side. Immediately several of the ponies watching the whole of the spectacle amused. They were no stranger to spontaneous sing-offs and a great majority of them had even seen the epic goof-off between Cheese Sandwich and Pinkie Pie, but this was something bewildering to them all. Even Twilight and Rarity, as they approached the crowd, found themselves wondering what he was doing.

"Anypony have any idea why Cheese Sandwich is holding a spray can?", Twilight Sparkle asked around.

"He said something about condiments and started singing.", an aquamarine-coated pony that Twilight knew to be Colgate responded, "I didn't know this was random singing outburst day!"

"No...", Twilight admitted as Cheese began the next stanza of his impromptu ditty, "That's not until next week."

This little can I tell you what
Will fill your mouth with such a glee
Your whole body will tingle taut
Can I get a big loud WHEE!

On cue, the whole of the crowd gave a big WHEE, some of the younger ponies even starting to chuckle.

Other ponies may want to stick
With a butter-jelly pat
Others may want to go with
A mayo-tuna spat
But all my equines I must confess
I say this with no fear
Thanks to this little can
I'm addicted to pure Camembere

"Songs like this happen often?"

Turning around, Rarity and Twilight found their other human guest watching Cheese's performance, his arms crossed over his black T.

"More than you'd think, Mr. Rollins dear.", Rarity remarked, "But at least the mood's lightened up."

"Well anyways, you may want to let those 3 that he's singing this Cheese song to that they're wanted at the main judging area in 30."

"Wait... how do you know they're the jud---", Twilight started to speak, but Henry cut her off.

"They're listed on the damn chairs! Jeez, COMMON SENSE!"

With that, Henry turned on his heel and started to walk away, but allowed Twilight, Rarity, and the main of the ponies to overhear his whispers.

"You know he kinda reminds me of this Weird guy in my world who sings crazy-as-hell songs... almost like parallels."

So just try some of my cheese you see
Try some will you pretty please!
Try some it will make your day!
Remember it's okay to sp---

That was as far as his song got before an ugly crack filled the air and Cheese was knocked to the ground, Champagne standing over him with a look of sheer disgust and revulsion. His hoof had come out of nowhere and knocked the party planner off his feet.

"Would you be kind enough to cut out that thing you call a tongue and shred it?!"

"Hey!!!", Pinkie Pie yelled, standing between the two, "What's the big idea?"

Champagne just looked at the Element of Laughter as if she was nothing more than a fly to be squashed. "You dare... you DARE call that gibberish music?! You DARE insult my ears and my senses with a song a RETARD could do in their sleep?? Do ponykind a favor and just admit what that schizo pony is, a no-talent hack!!!!! Every single time one of you rotten mules has a snit, you think a miserable fucking song is gonna make everything better? Well I'm here to stop the sounds... and hammer in a hard lesson to you... just like I'm gonna do to that BITCH of a pegasus who DARED to strike her better. There's a hierarchy and you and your rotten scum of a townfolk are as worthless as the mud that stains the coffins in your ragged boneyard!"

Cheese got up and shook off the blow, refusing to let Champagne make him look bad. "Jeez, Mr. Chim-chim! Who got up and went to tinkle in your milkle??"

The reaction of the unicorn was to grab the planner by the throat and use his horn's magic to take a nearby knife and raise it to the earth pony's gullet. "I hope you enjoyed that remark, you pathetic freak... for it was your las----

Another crack filled the air, but this time Champagne was the one who found himself knocked flat, the imprint of the can of spray food against his cheek and Meowth standing over him with his claws digging into the folds of the equine's neck.

"Shut up, shut up, shut up!!!!!!!!!!", Meowth screamed as he yanked the horse to his hooves, his voice filled with fire and poison, "WHAT DO YOU WANT!? WHAT WILL IT TAKE FOR YOU TO GET IT THROUGH YOUR HEAD THAT NONE OF US LIKE YOU... NONE OF US EVEN RESPECT YOU!"

Champagne growled and reared his head back, ramming his skull into the cat's and knocking him backwards, a small bruise now between his eyes. "You just signed your town's death warrant, you ugly mangy little hairball.... When it's all destroyed, you'll be the first one to die... and I promise it'll be very..... very..... slow."

With that, the unicorn spat on Meowth's prone body and stormed off, leaving Cheese and Pinkie Pie to help the feline up.

"Good heavens, Meowth!", Spike exclaimed, "What the heck was THAT?!"

"Fucking vulture is what he is....", Meowth cursed, rubbing where he had fallen on his tushy. The unicorn hadn't managed to leave much of a mark on the feline, even as the other members of the Mane 6 all rushed towards them, the commotion and Meowth's yelling acting like a beacon to their bond.

"Meowth! Are you ok?!", Rarity gasped.

"Did that mean unicorn hurt you?", Fluttershy chirped in addition.

"No, he's more bark than bite..", Meowth groaned, rubbing his skull, "But now I gotta a poundin' headache..... can't believe I got his blood on my claws... I feel so unclean..."

"It wasn't your fault!", Cheese insisted, "That creep tried to attack me... and called me a hack!"

The cat just rubbed his shoulder icily. "Ya mentioned something about a cheese spray... mind if I try? After you nearly got slit, least I can do is SAMPLE yer thing..."

"Uh... sure...", Cheese replied, offering the can to the feline. It was then Meowth noticed one member of their clique was absent.

"Where's Josh?", he asked.

"He..... he's...", Rainbow Dash started to speak, but the lump in her throat was preventing words from coming out and, almost immediately, Twilight knew where he was... She'd been friends with the pegasus so long their minds were linked to where they could tell what each other had been doing.

"You drugged him... didn't you.", she whispered.

It was all Rainbow Dash could do not to cry. "He wasn't himself anymore.... he wasn't sane... he kept saying he had to spill his blood.... That he'd send him to... down there...."

Twilight just rubbed her friends back soothingly as Meowth and the others looked on.... none of them even noticing the tall human figure descending back into the crowd and heading towards the stage.

"So now my friend is doped out???", Meowth asked, "Is that it?"

"I didn't know what else to do!!!!", Rainbow Dash insisted as Gilda approached Meowth menacingly.

"Lay off, cat. She did what she had to do...."

Meowth wanted to yell at her, but the words wouldn't come out of his throat.... for he knew she was right. Josh had become little more than a shell from the combination of sleep deprivation and attempts on his life. The innocent and coy human that had been brought into Ponyville months ago was now a cold and unstable soldier of misfortune, almost like a perverse harbringer of the underbelly of Equestia and all it held.

"He.. wants to go home... I know he does... we both do."

"At this point, I don't think he'll be able to teach us anything...", Twilight admitted, "But I know he doesn't want to leave...."

"Not like he has any place to go to..", Applejack muttered, getting steely-eyed glares from the entire group, "Element of Honesty, remember?"

Spike looked at the tension-setting atmosphere and immediately took Meowth by his paw. "C'mon, why don't we try one of the rides. Get our minds off of this..."

Immediately Pinkie Pie and Cheese Sandwich looked at each other, a wince coming over their faces, one that Spike easily picked up on.

"You two think I'm gonna hurl on the rides, don't you!? Twilight always says that!!!"

"I wasn't gonna say that persay.", Cheese sweatdropped, "But going on a whirl with a stomach full of spray cheese may not be the best idea."

"Besides, we all HAVE been eating a lo---", Pinkie Pie started to add before Meowth cut her off coarsely.

"Right now, I'd rather have a drink to wash my wounds....", he muttered sadly before taking off, dredging his way towards the Cooking Pot and leaving Spike, Cheese, and Pinkie looking on in thought.
-------------------------------------------------------------
As he sat on the bench facing out from Ambrosia's Spirits, a bottle of vodka in one paw and a cloth in the other, his mind just focused on what Dash had admitted... that she had been forced to resort to the akin of chloroforming his friend just to stop his mind from collapsing altogether from the constant physical trauma and being unable to even let his brain shut down for the simple act of sleep. He felt hollow inside, like he was about to lose the one link close to a family he had in the world to a sociopathic bastard.. the kind he'd thought they'd managed to escape when they left Earth and came into this dimension.

But ever since they'd arrived, Josh had been beaten and maimed close to death on numerous occasions by ponies who wanted nothing more than to see his friend be buried into a wooden coffin and set aflame. By now, Josh had lost his sinuses, half his teeth, his flesh.... all because of what he was.

Meowth poured a little of the alcohol into the cloth and rubbed it between his eyes, dabbing up the blood from the headbutt, before looking at the bottle and, as if on impulse, raising it to his lips and starting to chug down its acidic contents. The firewater burned his throat horribly, but all Meowth wanted was to numb himself like his friend was. He didn't want to deal with the horrible reality that was being thrust upon him and all of Equestria...

And it was then a new worry hit him...

If Champagne won.... if even after all they did to prepare and expose him, he still won.... he was now Champagne's head target. There'd be nothing left of him but his whiskers used like violin strings.... Applejack........ Aloe....... Cheerilee......... all the faces he'd met around Ponyville would be destroyed and broken.... and Fluttershy...... the one pony who he felt his heart swoon for..... she'd be turned into nothing more than Champagne's puppet.

Before he knew what he was doing, he was pouring the large bottle down his throat even faster and as soon as it was empty, he'd climbed off the bench and begun to stagger back towards the booth, the sounds of rock music and cheery voices beginning to circle around in his head, a drunken stupor from the giant bottle of vodka entering his system. He even began to sing to himself, his words slurred and mimicking the blurry of voices echoing around him.

"I don’t know who to trust....", he slurred, clenching the bottle tightly, "No surprise..."

At the same time, a second voice seemed to stir in his head, cold and baritone as if the liquor was speaking of its own accord.

"Everyone feels so far away from me..."

"Heavy thoughts sift through dust and the lies"

"Trying not to break but I’m so tired of this deceit"

And it was then the voice in Meowth's head seemed to take over, ringing through his addled brain like the chiming of a bell.

"Every time I try to make myself get back up on my feet. All I ever think about is this. All the tiring time between. And how trying to put my trust in you just takes so much out of me.

Looking into the bottle and seeing his weathered and warped reflection in the glass, Meowth growled and yelled to the air as if fueled by an anger for believing in finally finding the peace that he'd sought since his creation.

"Take everything from the inside and throw it all away
Cuz I swear for the last time I won’t trust myself with you!!!"

"Meowth, what are you doing!?"

Turning around, Meowth found himself looking at the angered face of Twilight Sparkle's confidante dragon.

"You think that stuff is gonna help change what's happened???"

Meowth let out a drunken belch before replying, the slur in his voice all too noticeable from the amount of hard swill that he'd just downed. "What does it matta'? My friend's close ta death, that unico's got us all wrapped on his horn, he's gonna win dis fuckin' contest.... why NOT one last drink?!"

Spike sniffed at Meowth's breath and covered his nose with a gag. "How much have you drunk?!"

"Not nearly enough! Dis is only da foist bottle!"

With a growl, Spike ripped the empty container from Meowth's paw and looked at it in disdain. "Slickblade's Volcano Vodka.... Are you trying to take yourself out before Champagne can?!"

"So what if I am!?", Meowth spat, "I ain't got anyone left! Josh is a shell, Ponyville's gonna get fuckin' eradicated by that greedy asshole, Fluttershy..... I couldn't even save HER!!!!"

"Fluttershy?!", Spike asked, "What's she got to do with anything???"

"You don't get it, do you??? I LOVE 'er!!! She's Heaven in a pony form and I...... I CAN'T DO SHIT TA HELP HER! NOT ON 'ER FARM, NOT WIT' RARITH, AND NOT EVEN HERE.... WHEN IT FUCKING MATTERS MOST!!!!!!!!"

That was all Meowth was able to get out before he found himself flat on his back. But it wasn't any of the alcohol that had toppled him, but a punch from a very angry Spike.

"And you think THIS is going to endear you!? That THIS is gonna help anytin'?? Meowth, you think I'M not scared something could go wrong? Ponyville is the only place I've ever been able to call home and now I'm in danger of losing that to a maniacial megalomaniac who seems capable of taking lives as easy as one of the supervillians from my comics and you think I'M not scared?! But getting soused isn't gonna help!"

"Well whaddami s'posed ta do?!", Meowth asked, rubbing his cheek where Spike had made contact. Even being a baby dragon, he could stilll pack a small punch, although his inebriation may have played a roll in him being toppled so easily... or that the fact that he was only marginally taller than Spike in the first place.

"You're supposed to keep hope and faith and know that in the end, it's all gonna turn out ok! Dash and AJ have trained their guts out and they're ready to stuff themselves and outlast him... even WITH those... "things" that Gilda made them eat!"

Spike offered his claw to Meowth and helped the pokemon to his feet before placing his other appendage on his shoulder.

"Fear is a terrible thing, Meowth, I should know. It makes ponies do things they wouldn't with their sane mind. But we can't let it stop us from having trust that Celestia will keep us all safe, no matter what..."

"But....", Meowth sniffed, "But then how come so much keeps happenin' ta mah friend."

"I don't know.... but when this contest is over, things will be different... I promise."

The cat sniffled again, an action that, given his lack of ANY sort of nose, was sort of puzzling, "I don't want to see him die... I don't want to see Ponyville go...."

"They won't." Spike smiled as he reached into his shoulder bag and pulled out the can of spray cheese Meowth had dropped, "C'mon. Get something in your stomach to settle the alcohol and let's hit a ride or something... have a little fun before armageddon."

Meowth gulped as he took the can from Spike and placed the nozzle to his mouth before pressing in and letting the orange foamy substance spray out onto his large red and pink tongue. It had a soft cream-like taste to it, as if just biting into a piece of meringue pie, and it filled his body with a small, but welcome sense of happiness and comfort. He'd always been a big eater, but this was the first food had actually acted as sort of a comfort tool for him.

"Dat's... dat's amazing!!!", Meowth marveled, taking another spray and slurping it down.

"I tried some after ya dropped this on the way here, it's really tangy and crisp! Like buttery graham crackers or fresh hay fries!"

Meowth winced at the second item. "Hay fries? Ugh. No t'anks!"

"It's just their name for potato fries with a little hay material! You should try it!"

The feline shook his head before taking another drag of the dairy spray. "So what ride were ya tinkin' of?"

Spike turned and pointed off in the distance. "THAT one!"

Meowth saw what he was pointing it and felt himself go slack-jawed, the can falling at his feetpaws. Spike was pointing at a ride that consisted of an octopus-esque like design, a set of cups at the end of each of it's mechanical purple and gold-colored "tentacles". A cartoonish and somewhat comical nauseated expression was painted on the kalamari's face, almost as if the rides designer knew EXACTLY what they hoped to accomplish with such an architectual achievement and the fact the device even had the unsettling name "The Octopuke" just sent shivers down Meowth's body. It wasn't that he was scared of rides like that, having the starflight powers Luna had given him helped him have a little more control over things like motion sickness and acrophobia, but they HAD just eaten plenty at the Cooking Pot, plus he was carrying a bottle's worth of booze in his gut and he didn't really think blowing chunks was considered "fun".

"Yer kiddin' me, right?", Meowth sweatdropped, "We just ate an' ya want ta go on sometin' like DAT?!"

"Twilight is ALWAYS saying no to rides and things like this, this may be my one chance away from her to just get to indulge!"

"Ya tink maybe she had a reason WHY she says no, Spike?!", Meowth remarked, pointing at a pink-colored pegasi staggering off the ride and promptly rushing towards a nearby bathroom, "Dis is da kinda ride dat makes unicorns go cross-eyed!"

Spike just looked at Meowth puzzled. "Unicorns go cross-eyed?"

"I'M REACHIN' FOR STRAWS, SPIKE!"

"Don't you mean grabbing at straws?", Spike smirked, crossing his arms over his belly.

"I KNOW WHAT I SAID!"

"C'mon!", Spike insisted, "You've got your special flight powers and I've been able to withstand all sorts of teleportations from Twilight Sparkle, not to mention all the scrolls from Celestia I had to spit up! You think a plastic octopus is gonna get the better of us???"

"Yes, I DO!", Meowth admitted.

"Meowth, we got about 20 minutes before the contest starts. Just humor me with this... They'll probably make it so it's nice and easy!"

"Then how do you explain Cherry Blossom over dere just tossin' her crackers?"

"Ok first, I'm impressed ya were able to remember her name. Second, she's always had a weak stomach! Heck, she fainted when she saw one of the Parasprites reproduce!"

Meowth just gave the dragon a resigned look. "Yer not gonna stop buggin' me til' we ride da Octopuke, are ya?"

"Nope!", Spike said with a smile.

The cat was all too familiar with Spike's stubborn streak and knew at this point, all roads and discussions would lead to the same result. "Fine... you win. We'll ride da darn tin'!"

Spike pumped his fist in victory and lead Meowth over to the crowd of ponies waiting to board.... unaware that somepony else was boarding the ride as well...
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"Are you sure about this Dash?"

As Derpy Hooves watched her cyan friend getting seated in one of the Octopuke's many colored cups, hers a tan one the equivalent of apple cider, she couldn't help but ask this to her friend. Ever since she'd delivered that article to the station and cleared Joshs name, the Element of Loyalty had been more than grateful and kind to her, even placing a call to Hammerhead to call off the teasing on her by order of Celestia. Derpy was still amazed that she got the Princess herself to agree to it! Yet, even to her and her spaced-out manner, this action just didn't seem to make any sense whatsoever. But the look in Dash's eyes was a determined and fiery one that Derpy could read all too well.

"It's either this, or spend the rest of the pre-contest time worrying about what may or may not happen....."

"But... Going on this thing to INTENTIONALLY make a prayer in technicolor?! RIGHT BEFORE THE CONTEST?!"

Rainbow Dash sniffed and nodded. "I want to take every precaution to make sure that I'm in prime condition for this thing and that my stomach is empty and ready to inhale... and since I can't seem to... well..."

Derpy blushed at the image but voiced her concern, "Dash, you don't need to make yourself hurl! Your love and strength should be enough!"

"I'm not taking chances. I gotta barf and make sure my tummy is vacant and ready to ingest whatever I have to. I'll show my iron stomach to all of Equestria even more than I did with that Sonic Rainboom!"

Derpy paused for a second, picking her next words carefully. "This.... this wouldn't have to do with your diary entry would it? The one you wrote the night before the training started?"

The pegasus sputtered a bit. "Wha?! How'd you---"

"Your diary was open when I came to visit Josh before he got those recipes. You weren't exactly the subtlest of ponies.... writing how you wanted to be able to ralph all over Champagne his boasting and bragging was so sickening?"

Rainbow Dash paused, placing her hoof to her lips.

"Dash, you want to do more than just that, don't you? But you're a-scared that if you try attacking Champagne, he's gonna try doing something worse to Josh.... or even to your friends, right?"

All the rainbow-maned pony could do was look down, away from her flying friend, knowing she was exposed like a wound to the elements. "It was horrible, ok? He's tried to stay positive and I've tried to do the same... but every time I try to smile, I just get hit with something more vile and insane. What's next, us learning Champagne RAPED somepony?!"

A shudder left her body as Derpy shook her head. "I know it sucks, Dash. I saw that horrible report too... I can't tell you how hard I cried.... Muffintop's whole place had to close, he'd gone so angry. But this is it.... today, you're gonna be able to take him down... then, life will begin anew with Ponyville having wealth and prosperity and you being known as the one who stopped Champagne's reign!"

Hearing some of the big words come from Derpy, Dash couldn't help but tilt her head in confusion. "You've.. been getting some tutoring with Twilight, haven't you?"

Another blush flashed on the mailmare's cheeks as she nodded before looking to her sides. "Well if you're so insistent on this.... I'm in for the ride too, they won't notice me sneak on."

"No, Derpy.", Dash insisted, "That's not necessary."

"Well if we're gonna get ready for the contest, might as well have a nice big blow."

"No, Derpy, I'M in the contest."

Derpy sighed and flew down before coming back up with a sheet of paper and giving it to Dash. As she looked at the piece of paper, she soon realized that it was signifying that Derpy had placed herself as a contestant of the eating contest... and what was even more alarming was that the time stamp registered as that of only an hour ago! Her eyes widened as she looked up at the fellow pegasi looking back at her with golden mismatched eyes.

"One of the contestants backed out and a spot was open, so I entered. Figured we couldn't have too many hooves in this pot."

Rainbow Dash just looked at Derpy and didn't know whether to hug her or chastise her for getting so stuck in this event, so she just settled on scooting over and letting Derpy fly into the cup with her and giving her a hug. The mailmare didn't even bat an eye, enjoying the affection.

"You're something else altogether, Derpy.", Dash chuckled.

The mailmare just gave a soft squeak before their cup was closed and they saw the operator pony head back to the line where Scootaloo was busy arguing with the ticket taker, an amber colored Earth pony with a velvet colored robe reading "EWREC OPS".

"For the last time kid...", the pony insisted as he stamped his hoof in the dirt, "Ya can't get on dis ride. Yer not tall enough!"

"But what about Spike??? What about Meowth? They got on no problem??"

"THEY made the height requirement, just barely. Now are you gonna go or do I have to have you escorted from the festival???"

The pegasi just sputtered a bit before turning around and starting to trot off, but not before noticing who was boarding the ride instead with no problem...

"Diamond Tiara??"

The pink filly turned at the sound of Scootaloo's voice and scoffed. "Well if it isn't the shortcake blank flank!"

A haughty laugh filled the air as Scootaloo looked on at her classmate, jaw to the ground. "But... but you're shorter than I am!!! How!?"

Diamond just laughed again. "Looks like I'm first AGAIN! Face it, Shrimp, I'm always gonna be a step ahead!"

As she turned to climb into the cup, her cowl flew upwards a bit and revealed a hint of a large shoe, presumably used to help the young filly meet the modest height requirement for the Octopuke and immediately Scootaloo saw red.

"You... you cheated!"

"Give it up!", the wealthy filly insisted as her cup was closed, "I got on and you didn't. Yet another disappointment in a life full of them... I'd think you'd be used to them by now!"

"CAN WE START DA RIDE ALREADY??"

Hearing Meowth yelling, Diamond turned and snapped back at the pokemon. "CAN IT, WHISKERS!"

Scootaloo just looked at her, spite and anger in her eyes. "I hope somepony hurls on you."

"They wouldn't dare if they know what's good for them."

One more laugh escaped her lips as the amber pony walked over to the control panel. But the fight argument between the two hadn't gone unseen by Dash and before the operator could activate the ride, she yelled out.

"HOLD IT!!! LET ME OFF OF THIS!"

This brought out some questionable whispers from the crowd starting to form, but the amber pony walked over to where Dash and Derpy were seated and unfastened them, giving a glare to the cyan colored pony for wasting his time.

"Dash??" What about---", Derpy started to say, but Dash raised her hoof and cut her off.

"Friends first, ride second."

As she walked past the cup with Meowth and Spike inside, she looked at the already pale cat-pokemon and knew either he or Spike was gonna hurl.

"Meowth?"

"Yeah?"

The cyan pony looked over at Diamond sitting back haughtily and glared at her. "Aim for her head.". With that, the two pegasi left the platform and the two very confused riders and the amber pony finally was allowed to pull a switch, sending all 16 of the cups, each holding ponies and, in one case, a dragon and cat, starting their whirling dervish as a crowd started to form. It wasn't as much the interest of the ride as it was the hidden desire of all the ponies to see someone lose it. Twilight had even compared it to how ponies watched sports mainly to see if someone got hurt, catering to the inner bloodlust that grew from even their earlier ancestor ponies. No pony wanted to admit it, but they all wanted to see somepony throw up so they could all get a big laugh.

"See Meowth?", Spike insisted, "Nothin' to it!"

But the alcohol wasn't agreeing with Meowth and the mixture of that and all the rich foods was already starting to give the feline a sense of disorientation.

"So many colors... so much spinning!", he groaned, letting out a small, but ugly burp.

"It's barely even started!"

"Tell dat ta my tummy..", Meowth groaned again, turning pale.

Back on the ground, Derpy had bid Dash farewell and gone to get her final papers for the contest and Scootaloo was busy snuggling up with her role model, even though she was still very irritated as Diamond getting away with her trick.

"It's not fair!", she pouted, "First to get her cutie mark, first to get her special talent, now first to even go on all the cool rides!"

"Scoots, she used shoes. She cheated her way onto the thrill ride, like she cheated on your math exam!"

Scootaloo looked up at her mentor in surprise. "How did---"

Rainbow Dash cut her off. "She was bragging how she got an A... But she sits next to you in class and you were the only other one who aced the quiz... and I KNOW I saw her at the ice rink during my late-night patrol!"

As Scootaloo growled at the newly learnt information, a sudden realization came over the cyan-colored equine. When she had told Derpy that her friends were first, the ride was second.... in that instant all the problems she was going through; her sweetheart unconcious, Ponyville's fate, dealing with Champagne... it all seemed meaningless other than making sure Scootaloo wasn't upset. It was only a momentary epiphany, but it was Dash needed to finally regain her spark... and herself. Urgently, she looked down at Scootaloo.

"Scootaloo, listen. I need you to follow my instructions. I... I know how to handle all this!"

"Handle what?", Scootaloo looked up again, now with her face reading massive confusion.

"Josh's wounds, the EWREC.... I don't need to prep anymore... I remember who I am... why I entered!!! I'm Rainbow Dash, Element of Loyalty, fastest flyer in all Equestria and acrobat second-to-none! No stupid rotten unicorn is gonna seperate any of us.... not from each other, not from life... not from ANYTHING!"

Scootaloo didn't know what had changed inside her idol, but she liked it! "I'm at your command, Dash! But what about---"

Dash just looked at the ride in motion and grinned. "I think Meowth and Spike will be able to teach her some humility."

But Scootaloo was still looking dour and Dash knew what she wanted as a clever grin spread over her face.

"Scootaloo, do you trust me?"

"More than anything, Dash!"

The cyan pony looked again at the ride, barely beginning its rotation, and a plan started to form. It was dangerous and it could probably get them killed.... but if it didn't have that risk, it'd have no fun.

"Then climb on my back.... and hold on tight!"

Even though she was too tubby to be able to trot fast, she could still keep speed on her hindlegs with the best of them and as soon as the orange filly had climbed on, she ran to the operating ride and DOVE into the empty cup she had vacated less than half a minute before. At this, even Champagne's bodyguard couldn't help but whistle as they watched from Champagne's private trailer, one of his windows giving them a birdseye view of the Octopuke.

"Ok, THAT was pretty impressive. You gotta admit, boss."

"What was that?", Champagne seethed.

"Nothing, boss... just nothing."

"Ugh.....", Meowth grimaced as he let out a sour belch and covered his mouth, smacking his lips at the foul taste that was starting to form, "Dat one tasted like da cheese and bean burritos we got at Hardshell's..."

"Meowth, I don't wanna know that...", Spike groaned. As much as the baby dragon didn't want to admit it, he wasn't exactly feeling tip top either after such a big meal and he was beginning to see why Twilight was so hesitant on letting him get on these kinds of machines. It was then in his delirium that he saw the cup with Rainbow Dash and Scootaloo whirl past them and he actually did a double-take, swearing he saw Dash and Derpy disembark beforehand.

"Meowth... is that Scootaloo and Dash in the cup nearby?"

"Spike..", Meowth gagged, his cheeks plumping out with an ugly belch, "If I even try ta look, I can't promise I'm not gonna send anytin' out towards dem!"

The cat could already feel the first few chunks wanting to rise up his throat and it left a sour, sickly taste in his mouth from even the traces of stomach acid that managed to reach his tongue.

"WOOOOOOOOOOO!!!", Scootaloo cheered, waving her forelegs in the air like she really didn't care, "THIS IS SOOOOOOOOOOO AWESOME!!!!!!"

"Ulp.... Yeah..... Really awesome....", Rainbow Dash quivered, looking at Scootaloo and feeling herself turning a little green. The fact that the steering wheel of the cup was pressing into her tummy was making her already feel queasy. She was beginning to realize that her plan of puking on Champagne was ill thought out in the first place... and now she didn't even have THAT as a secondary target.

"Uh, Dash?", Scootaloo asked, looking at her cramped pegasus mentor, "Are you ok?"

Dash widened her nostrils and took in a breath of air, scared to open her mouth when she was looking at her student, not exactly eager to show Scootaloo what she had for breakfast. "Yeah.... Just.... great....", she managed to get out through gritted teeth.

"Then why does your face look like moss?"

Rainbow Dash just looked at Scootaloo with a grimace at the reminder of how crummy the ride was making her feel.

"Are you gonna throw up?"

"From a thrill ride!?", Rainbow Dash tried to scoff, "Perish the thought! Motion sickness is something this pegasus has never even HEARD of!" But a sharp jolt in her stomach made her clutch herself in pain and even worse was that some of the dirt in the air had gotten in her snout and she wanted to just be able to dig it out. She felt queasy and irritated all at the same time, queasitated even!

"Urrrrrrapp!" An ugly belch left Meowth's mouth as the ride picked up its steam, the rotations getting faster and faster, "WHY did ya wanna come on dis crazy ting?!"

"I DON'T KNOW!", Spike whined, turning as green as his scales, "I THOUGHT IT WOULD BE FUN! I DIDN'T THINK IT'D MAKE ME WANNA HURL!"

Meowth retched as his cheeks expanded and he had to cover his mouth, barely managing to swallow down the giant mouthful of half-digested content that was begging to be spewed out. He could taste nearly every food they'd sampled from the Cooking Pot, from Edna's Krab Apple Jam to Cheerilee's Vanilla Oat Brownies to even Granny Smiths apple brown betty.... now all wanting to be vomited all over the inside of the nearest toilet or garbage can he could get his face above.

"Somebody stop dis ride!", Meowth cried, "I want off!"

"Twilight!! Help us!", Spike added, both of the confidantes feeling their stomaches jolt more and more.

As sick as Rainbow Dash was feeling, she couldn't stop sniffing and scrounging her snout, even as she gagged..... she didn't know if picking her snout would even help with her nausea or at least make it so she wasn't half as agitated. She wanted to erupt from both her nostrils and her stomach and the feeling was just altogether disgusting.

"Dash?", Scootaloo asked in concern, "Why do you keep sniffling like that? Is that related to your motion sickness?"

"I'm NOT motion sick!", Dash insisted, "I just have something in my nose!"

"Then why not just pick it out? That's what I do!"

At this, Dash actually retched and had to cover her mouth to keep from throwing up, a few drips of juice managing to come out before she could swallow the vile mess back down her throat. "You pick your snout!?", she gasped.

"Uh, yeah.", Scootaloo said matter-of-factly as if nothing more than discussing the weather, "Every pony has at one point. It helps get rid of whatever's irritating the inside and when you don't have tissues, your hooves do just fine!"

Dash looked at her hoof, then at Scootaloo. She felt horrible from the irritants in her sinuses and gut and this way at least she could focus on trying to at least keep herself from giving a color shower to Scootaloo.

"Go ahead, Dash.", Scootaloo insisted, "Just dig those boogers out!"

The cyan pony just looked at the filly, a small half-smile creeping on her face. "You know if you try to say I do this to any other pony, I'm gonna totally deny it, right?"

Scootaloo gave a nod. "Wouldn't expect anything else, Rainbow Dash. Now get rid of that snot!"

Looking around and making sure the ride was going too fast for anyone to be able to decipher her form and swallowing back the vomit that had risen up at seeing the world spinning, the pegasus placed her hoof in her nostril and started to pick, digging her hoof in all the way to the cleft. As she did, another jolt from the ride shook her belly and a huge wave of nausea shot up her throat and filled her cheeks, making her face look unintentionally funny to Scootaloo and causing her to laugh, making Dash unable to resist casting a glare at her. Unfortunately, the glare was at the same time her cheeks and lips had ballooned and a hoof was deep in her snout and all it did was make Scootaloo nearly wet herself laughing at the sheer ridiculousness. Even as she coaxed Dash, she had to restrain her laughter.

"C'mon, Dash! You can do it! Show those boogers whose boss!"

Rainbow Dash just looked at Scootaloo like she was out of her mind, but kept on digging, sick as she felt, until finally pulling her hoof out and extracting a large glob of dirt and mucus, stuck on her tip, before sniffing in relief at the feeling of her nose being empty, even if she still felt like she was gonna hurl. Looking around she flicked out her hoof, causing the booger to fly off. The only problem was the ride's force made the glob fiy backwards into the ride and onto the head of one of the riders... and soon a loud scream filled the air.

"EEEEEEEEWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!", Diamond Tiara yelled, wiping at her head frantically and trying to get the mucus off, "GET IT OFF ME! GET IT OFF ME! GET IT OFF ME! GET IT OFF ME!"

This was all it took for Scootaloo to collapse into hysterical laughter, holding her gut as ebbs of laughter erupted from her mouth. But Dash was too busy pursing her lips and trying not to vomit to get much laughter out and in another cup, Meowth and Spike were at their threshold.

Meowth's cheeks had expanded to the size of watermelons with sludge, Spike's nearly just as big, bigger than even when Discord had made him spit up so many of Celestia's letters it made him get airsick. Sweat was beading off their heads and down their faces as they struggled to hold in their meals and they both knew it was a losing battle. So much had even built up in Meowth's face it was stretching it out and even revealing his runny nostrils to the world. He knew he was about to blow and Spike wasn't far behind.

"I.... can't.... take...... anymore...", Meowth groaned, "I'm......gonna.....puke!!!"

Frantically, Meowth ran to the side of the cup, gripped onto the edge, and opened his mouth wide enough to expose his uvula and the entirety of his tongue.....

A little ways away, Diamond Tiara finally managed to get her composure enough to wipe her forehead clean of the mucus, although she was still very upset.

"I can't believe I got snot on my perfect head! A COMMONPONY'S snot no less!", she groused, "How could this get any more disgusting!?"

It was then she noticed her cup was right across from Meowth and Spikes and the cat was beginning to open his mouth.... his face pointed right at her... and she felt her heart stand still and NOT out of love.

"NO!!! YOU WOULDN'T DARE!"

"BBBBBBBLLLLLLEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAGGGGHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!"

Meowth let out a gurgling retch and vomited all over Diamond Tiara's cup, the side of his own, and Diamond Tiara herself. Similar to Rarity, the second the first few drops hit her, time seemed to freeze and before she knew it, she was getting acquainted with the alcohol, the spray cheese, and all of the other goodies Meowth had consumed before the ride, his stomach purging itself out completely as a thick pink and brown wave erupted out of his throat. She couldn't even scream, she had gone close to numb in horror.

Seeing Meowth hurl was all it took for Spike to be pushed to his own limits.

"I'm gonna barf!", he cried, "I'm gonna barf!"

Covering his mouth, the baby dragon ran to the other side of the cup and just barely managed to lean his head over before his mouth seemed to lock open and a similiar experience to everytime Celestia sent a letter occurred....

Only this time, Celestia hadn't sent anything.
-----------------------------------------------------
A little ways away, as she came out of the little fillys room, Rarity polished off her small cup of mocha creme and sighed happily.

"This is just heavenly...", she cooed to herself, "All these wonderful new foods, all this glamour, Dash and AJ are gonna make Ponyville rich, this day can't get any better!"

"BBBLLLLLLLLLLEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!"

The ugly sound of Spike tossing his cookies filled the air and Rarity nearly froze in horror as she looked up and saw a digusting yellow chunky wave appear out of the dragon's mouth. But it was then she remembered what Josh had told her he did when he heard Applejack get sick and instinctively, she leapt backwards and fell on her rump back in the bathroom, JUST avoiding the foul-smelling gunk from hitting her and giving her an unwanted shower. But even though she had avoided getting hurled on, she still felt her body go weak from shock and she screamed out in terror.

"HOLY!!! WHAT THE HAY IS GOING ON?!!!!"

Across the way, Cheese Sandwich and Pinkie Pie watched the vomit hit the ground and they both sighed, the former playing a few notes on his accordion sadly.

"I wanted them. Cheese spray and fast rides do not a good day make."

The element of laughter nodded before she turned to her party planning friend. "I think I'd better get one of the janitorial ponies here before I check in at the judges booth."

"That may not be the worst idea.", Cheese agreed.

But Spike never even heard Rarity's yell. His vomiting was so loud and so ugly he was deaf to all but the sound of his meals being ejected out from whence they came. It was like they were in their own personal slice of hell and all Spike and Meowth wanted was for it to end. It took over a full minute for both of them to finally cough up the last few chunks and fall back into their cart, wiping their mouths off and feelings tears of relief and sadness streaming down their cheeks.

"Urrrrrrppp..", Meowth belched, groaning in pain, "I haven't barfed like dat since.... eva!"

"I don't know if I ever wanna see food again....", Spike moaned.

It was then they both remembered what they had to do after the ride and another wave of nausea swept through them, the thought of having to be witness to 10 ponies gorging themselves now making them feel ill.

In another cup, Rainbow Dash was at her peak as well and Scootaloo could see it. The pegasus had cheeks the size of watermelons, her belly was gurgling and rumbling violently, her eyes rolling in their sockets as if all control over their movements had been lost, her nostrils were flared and wide, almost pulsating in agony. Scootaloo knew Dash was gonna blow soon and she wanted to make sure she was out of harms way when she turned into a volcano.

"D-Dash?", she trembled.

Frantically, Rainbow Dash raced for the side of her cup and opened her mouth wide....

Diamond Tiara was still soaked in what had once been Meowth's meals and her eyes were twitching almost uncontrollably. She felt like she'd just seen the underworld and she smelled even worse thanks to all the chunks and bile now coating the fabric of her expensive and first-class outfit. Her cowl, once red and velvetty smooth like a warm cake was covered in a mess of brown with yellow bits still running down and sloughing onto the metal floor of the cup. Her slippers had bits of pink and green speckled on them as if like a disgusting op-art painting. Her tiara was coated in a thick syrupy orange liquid running down her face and mane with the consistency of sewer slime, she looked altogether miserable and wanted nothing more than to BOIL off all the flesh and grime off her body to erase the memory of what had just happened.

"Ulp..... Uh oh......"

Hearing the groan, she turned just in time to see Rainbow Dash's mouth open wide...

"Help.....", she barely managed to squeak out before...

"BBBBLLLLLLLUUUUUUUUAAAAAGGHHHHHHHHHHH!"

Rainbow Dash let out a gurgling disgusting belch and hurled a thick grey disgusting arc of vomit all over Diamond Tiara, the young filly barely able to shield herself from the foul-smelling oatmealish-looking wave erupting out of the Element of Loyalty's mouth. Her vomiting was loud enough to ring out all over the fair and made more than one pony put down their treats, all appetite lost. Even Gilda, watching from one of the midway stands, just shook her head in dismay.

"I tried to tell them. I really did.", she muttered, setting down her soda and sauntering away.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Back at the main stage, Rollins and Celestia were busy having a talk of their own.

"You got all the information?", Celestia asked the musician as he looked at the sheet of paper given to him by the Goddess of the Sun.

"Yeah. Read all 10 names, give some corny quips, wish them all good luck...", he muttered, "Look, Princess Celestia, with all due respect may I say something?"

"Of course, dear."

Without wasting a second, Rollins took the sheet of paper and tore it in half, throwing the two sections at her hooves. "This... this is shit. You're asking me to wish good luck to a possible RAPIST!"

Celestia's smile faded, the subject clearly a sting to her too. "Regardless of personal feelings that I may have towards Champagne, I am bound to wish all subjects participating in the event a good match."

"Look, Celestia. If someone had told me a year ago that I'd be having a conversation on ethics with a damn horse, I'd say they were outta their mind! No offense."

"None taken.", Celestia assured him, "It's a lot to take in."

"But now that I am, even YOU have to see that this unicorn... this Champagne freak..... he's shit wrapped in fur. Hell, your sister told me about what the rumor is regarding his involvement in that family being slaughtered... I wanted to kill him myself!"

Celestia bit her cheek, but listened intently.

"I came here to judge and liven this festival up in lieu of all the anger and rage that is starting to surround it, but if I'm gonna do it... I'm going on that stage and I'm saying not what's written on some damn sheet of paper like I'm a government puppet. I'm saying what NEEDS to be said and I'm not gonna sugarcoat things either! I may get pelted with garbage or booed off the stage and I could care less.... my job isn't to be liked!"

"..And that is why I wanted you here.", Celestia calmly remarked, "From what my research has told me, you are a very outspoken and fierce individual in your world. You don't hide from anything and you've been everywhere. You don't hide from the dirty words or from what needs to be done... just like Josh. You two are almost like... anomalies."

Henry pursed his lips and nodded. "If you'll excuse me... It's time I go and get this whole thing started...... MY way."

Turning on his heel, the Black Flag singer went towards the stage and left Celestia looking on in contemplation at what he said.
------------------------------------------------
Finally the Octopuke came to a stop and as soon as she was let out of her cup, Diamond Tiara STREAKED out of the festival, tearing off her ruined clothes like they were on fire. As she ran by her teacher, Cheerilee, the mare couldn't resist letting out a derisive "HA!". As much as Cheerilee loved her job and her children, she remembered Tiara saying in class about planning to sneak her way onto the "Stallion Rides" and she had openly warned her and ALL the students that Mother Karma could bite them if they tried getting on the big rides before they were meant to.

The second Meowth and Spike were released from their own podium, the foul smell of their stomachs contents entered the operator ponie's snout and make him retch, having to cover his mouth in horror and disgust.

"Good Celestia's crowd, it smells like a brewery and a locker room in here!!!"

"Please...", Meowth moaned, holding his gut as he and Spike staggered out of their cup, "Don't even mention brew right now!"

The dragon hiccupped and nodded as he and Meowth staggered away. "Now I know why Twi said I wasn't ready for the Octopuke... I WASN'T!"

The next cup released was that of Rainbow Dash and Scootaloo and while the younger pegasi was whooping with glee, Rainbow Dash was staggering and stumbling, her equillibrium wrecked beyond belief.

"I've NEVER seen so much puke on this ride before!", the operator started to complain before Dash cut him off.

"Shut up, Jeremy.", she growled, having to cover her mouth for a second to regain her composure

"My name's Control Pad!", he huffed, "Jeremy's only my middle name!"

"Whatever...", she groaned as she let Scootaloo help her get to where Applejack, Fluttershy, Meowth, and Spike where all standing, Fluttershy hard at work using a towel to clean the two confidantes clear of all the remnants of alcohol and vomit that still lingered on them as Applejack pinched her snout shut with her hoof, trying to avoid the smell that stuck on them.

"There we go.", she cooed, "All nice and clean..."

"Yeah...", Meowth weakly smiled, "T'anks, Shy."

Scootaloo couldn't help but grin at the sight. "Apple Bloom told me that's how Mr. Josh cleaned her as well."

All 5 of the others looked at Scootaloo a little angrily at this and immediately she remembered where said human was.

"He's going to be fine, guys.", she insisted as Rarity trotted up with a tray of glass bottles clenched in her mouth. Lowering her head and placing the tray on the ground with the caress and grace of a swan, she started passing the bottles out to everyone.

"Got this from Zecora's booth. Ginger Root and Mint. It'll calm even the queasiest stomach in a heartbeat."

Eager to settle the tumult in his stomach, Meowth took the bottle given to him and started to drink. The liquid inside had a pleasant and soothing smell akin to that of fresh vanilla mixed with rose petals, an appearance very similar to lemon soda pop, and a taste like that of fresh ginger and gum mixed together and almost immediately, he felt the liquid get to work, nursing and calming the uneasiness in his belly.

"Dis.. dis is great!", Meowth exclaimed happily.

"Yeah!!", Spike added, taking another swig with glee.

"Gotta admit, I'm rather surprised at ya'll, Rares."

Turning to Applejack, the Element of Generosity tilted her head in confusion.

"Whatever do you mean?", Rarity asked.

"When Rainbow Dash lost her lunch on ya, ya'll went barn-nuts crazy! Yet now ya'll almost get puked on again and ya'll don't even bat an eye?!"

"Goodness...", Fluttershy covered her mouth, "What happened?"

"It's nothing, really, just somepony lost their cookies and nearly hit me in a digusting shower of amber-yellow. If I hadn't done what Josh taught me and backpedaled, I'd have gotten a most unpleasant surprise."

The next sound heard was the sound of broken glass as one of the bottles was suddenly clenched hard enough to destroy it completely. Turning around in fright, they all saw Spike with now half the bottle of elixir, the other half and remaining liquid now scattered around his feet and a look of horror in his emerald green eyes. Seeing everyone staring at him, the dragon gulped.

"Uh.... just thought I saw a bug or something in it...", he lied.

"Well now, what have we learned?"

Hearing the voice of his guardian approach from behind him, Spike turned and saw Twilight Sparkle and Gilda looking back at him with knowing smile.

"You see why I was so hesitant on you going on things like the Octopuke and the Spleen-Scorcher?"

"Yeah, that didn't look too fun.", Gilda added with a smirk.

"Yeah.. yeah..", Spike admitted, looking downwards in shame. Comfortingly, Twilight placed a hoof on his shoulder.

"I don't say these things to hurt you, Spike. I do it because I want to help you grow up into a great dragon."

"What does me wanting to ride the same thing as Rainbow Dash and Applejack have to do with me growing up?"

"Yeah, what?", Applejack added, "If he wants to make himself sick on the rides, let 'em!"

But the appearance of Pinkie Pie prevented Twilight from having to give a response.

"GUYS! IT'S ABOUT TO START!!!!!", she squealed and soon a rough voice belonging to Rollins could be heard broadcasting all over the fair.

"Judges and contestants, please report to the main stage immediately. The Equestria-Wide-Royal-Eaters-Competition will begin momentarily!"

With her belly soothed by the drink and a fire in her eyes, Rainbow Dash turned towards the rest of the group.

"It's time..... Wish us luck..."

"Dash, Applejack...", Gilda responded, "I've trained you both as best I can. Now it's all up to you. Twilight, Rarity, Shy, and I will be in the audience cheering for you both!"

"And Spike, Meowth, and I will be calling all the action!!", Pinkie Pie squealed.

The pegasus gave a small nod and a sigh. "I just..... wish Josh was awake to see me compete."

"He's a tough kid.", Gilda replied, "He'll be watchin' ya before the contest ends, I know it."

"An' he'll be there ta congratulate us when we win this and take Champagne to the shredder!", Applejack added.

"There's gonna be nothing left of him but his cutie mark by the time we're done!", Pinkie Pie gleefully finished as she and the rest of the group participating went to the main stage, leaving just Gilda, Scootaloo and the three Elements behind.

"How I wish those weren't metaphorical.", Gilda remarked, getting a jab from Twilight.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Looking upon the crowd ahead of her, Mayor Mare took a deep breath and prepped herself for her introduction. For weeks, this contest had been the talk of all of Equestria and she was all too familiar with some of the rumors and bets that it had led to. But as a public official, like Celestia and Luna, she was bound to remain unbiased and just in all situations. Yet she couldn't help but fear the worst if Champagne were to win somehow and, although she would never say it out loud, she was inwardly hoping that Champagne wouldn't have even been able to make it to the event, yet he'd been there bright and early like a very rude awakening... now all she could do as she picked up the microphone and brought it to her lips was just waiting for the bell to ring and judgement to be delivered... and hopefully...

It would be in a favor that benefited her and all of Ponyville.

"Filles and Gentlecolts...... Mr. Henry Rollins."

With that, the Black Flag singer took the stage and received the mic from the mayor as the crowd of ponies before him clapped their hooves in delight, all eager for this contest to finally get underway. The wait for action had become almost intolerable with all the accusations and finally it was time for a verdict. It was then that Henry brought the mic to his mouth and finally started to speak.

"Thank you, Mayor Mare. You know I've seen a LOT, and I mean A LOT of crazy stuff in my life, but an eating contest for ponies? I was tempted to think of it all as some crazy joke or that I'd gotten hold of some bad meat!"

That brought a round of laughter from the ponies and a small smile from the singer.

"But now that I'm here and I see all this is the real..... all I can say is..."

Henry paused for a second, running his tongue over his lips in a moment of thought before continuing.

"All I can say is that the dreams of anything can become a reality. Yeah I know, I sound like what one of you ponies may hear during a time share."

This got another round of laughter.

"But here's the truth. I've got 10 ponies waiting to come up and 9 of them I have no problem with and am more than willing to wish the best of luck to.... but number 10.. and you know who you are... I'd as soon kiss the face of a devil than ever kiss YOUR fat ass! If I've EVER heard of anyone with a low self-opinion, it's YOU!"

A loud round of whoops filled the air in agreement as Henry finished up.

"We've all been waiting for this and so I see no other reason to postpone the festivities. Filles... Gentlecolts... It's time for the Annual Equestria-Wide-Royal-Eaters-Competition..... and may the most deserving pony KICK THE FLANKS of their opponents!!!!!!"

The air grew electric with applause as instrumental hard rock began to play and Henry began what the anticipation had been all for... the lead-in.

"Our first contestant is from Sweet Apple Acres. She's known as a rodeo star and an apple-bucking master and weilds the title of the Element of Honesty. Please give it up.... for APPLEJACK!!!"

The cowpony took the stage to the cheers of the whole crowd and took her Stetson off with a bow as she looked upon the crowd with stars in her eyes and a lump in her throat before taking a seat.

"WOOOO!!!", Granny Smith cheered, "KICK THEIR RUMPS ALL THE WAY TO NEIGH YORK!!!!!"

"Granny, please...", Apple Bloom shirked down in chagrin, "You're embarrassin' me..."

"A'IGHT! Our second entry is from Cloudsdale! He's a member of the high-flying Wonderbolts, known for the Bucking Bolt and the Wings of Fate! Let's hear it for SOARIN'!"

The acrobat climbed up to the cheers and waved to the crowd of ponies before him.

"YOU GOT THIS!", Spitfire shouted, raising her hooves to her mouth and calling out, her voice amplifying over the din of the crowd and making Soarin' lift up his goggles and give her in particular a small wink of appreciation.

"Number three comes to us from Gallopolynesia! He's a lean 100 pounds of chawing machine and three-time record holder of the Gallopolynesian Iron Guts Title! Give it up for Noodle!"

A slender green pony, decked out in a long black cloak and a dark ball cap was the next to climb on stage, cheers in an unknown language starting to fill the air as the pony bowed respectfully, his large eyes closed the whole time as if to shut out the world before him.

"Any idea what language that is, dork?", Gilda asked, getting a jab from Scootaloo.

"Sounds like Gallopyense, I know only a little myself.", Twilight remarked as Henry picked up the microphone after Noodle took his seat next to Soarin'.

"Numero Quatro comes from the south side of Cloudsdale. A bodybuilding pony who has a fixation on protein. Everypony.... Bulk Biceps!!!"

Soon a large white pegasus took the stage, his eyes red and beady, a buzzcut mane on his head, and a pair of wings that looked far too small for his bulky white body resting on his back.

"YEAH!!", he pumped out his biceps with a roar, "CLOUDSDALE RULES!!!!!!!!!"

Turning to the singer, he gave him a firm smack on the butt and whooped as he took his seat, a roar of laughter at Henry’s stumble ringing out even as he rubbed the back of his jeans.

“Ok, I can safely say that’s the first time a pony has ever played grabass with me.... Our next competitor comes all the way from Cloudsdale as well and she's known as a legend here in Ponyville!”

Immediately ROARS of applause similar to that of Applejack’s rang out as they knew who was next to come onstage.

“She’s known as the Element of Loyalty and is the creator of the Sonic Rainboom... Filles and Gentlecolts... RAINBOW DASH!!!!”

The ponies got to their hooves, stamping in excitement for the cyan pegasus bravely taking the stage.

“Thank you.. Thank you all.”, She boldly waved to the cheering crowd, feeling almost like a Wonderbolt or a rock star with all the applause she was getting, “Let’s get this party started!!!!!!!”

As she took her seat, Henry just shook his head in bemusement before revealing the next contestant. “Next up is an Earth Pony from right here in town. He’s known as a professional bowler and a self-made hugonaut and I will add that I’m JUST saying what I’ve been told about him! Give it up for William “The Dude” Letrotski!”

Next to take the stage was an amber-colored equine, draped in what looked like a fine white bathrobe almost as if he had just gotten out of a shower. The unorthodox and somewhat goofy appearance made the audience bust out giggling and even Rainbow Dash, in her seat next to Bulk Biceps, had to cover her mouth to subdue a snort from coming out.

“Ok, I’ll say it for every pony here.”, Rollins spoke, “What the fuck is a Hugonaut?!”

The pony just looked up at the Black Flag singer. “That... is for the Dude.”

“That is an unsatisfying answer!”, Applejack yelled as the Dude took his seat.

“All kinds of weird ones in your town, huh?”

“Ya’ll have no buckin’ idea...”, the cowpony nodded.

“Next up, from Cloudsdale, a girl known as “the bad luck omen” and “the iron flank”, a mailmare and lover of baked goods.... give it up for Derpy Hooves!!!”

A rush of murmurs and nervous applause filled the crowd as the gray pegasus took the stage.

“Iron Flank...”, Henry repeated as if unsure, “Does that mean like you’ve got a strong ass?”

“Yeah!”, Derpy squealed. “Anyone have a jar of jelly???”

“FOR THE LOVE OF CELESTIA, DON’T YOU DARE!”

The crowd went quiet as all eyes turned to Rarity, the source of the LOUD yell.

“O que é esse Branco Buzina gritando?”, Noodle remarked to Soarin’. But unsurprisingly, the Wonderbolt had no clue what Noodle was asking and just took a shot in the dark.

“It’s about half past noon.”, he replied.

Noodle just glared at him. “Estúpido moron. Ler um livro!”

Back in the audience, Sweetie Belle, Diamond and Jewel were looking at Rarity mortified.

“DON’T LET HER SHOW YOU WHY!!”, she screamed.

“Rarity Allison Belle, what has gotten into you!?!?”, Jewel hushed her daughter.

“Wait.. THAT’S her name??”, Twilight asked in disbelief, “Not Rarity the Unicorn?!”

“No, we christened her Rarity Allison Belle when she came to this world. Allison’s after Jewel’s grandmother’s maiden name!”, Diamond explained, “She just likes to be called Rarity the Unicorn... something about the drama makes our sugarplum happy.”

“But.... Josh told me he was calling her Rarity Allison Unicorn!”, Fluttershy insisted.

“Fluttershy, dear.”, Jewel patted the Element of Kindness on her shoulder, “I think your human friend was just stressed. Our daughter can be KIND of a handful at times...”

“MOM!”, Sweetie Belle gasped.

“MAY I CONTINUE???”

This came from an exasperated Rollins looking at the group in the second row and immediately all of them slunk down a little, but none more so than Twilight Sparkle.

“How... how could I not know her own name?! I’M SUPPOSED TO BE SMART!”, she growled to herself.

“ANYWAYS.... Next up, we’ve got from the outskirts of Meadow Viejo a lover of spreadables and sandwiches. Give it up for JamJar!”

The next unicorn to take the stage had a grey coat similiar to Derpy’s dabbled with purple and red splotches, almost undeniably coming from the large container of raspberry preserves he was slurping from like a slush drink. There were even bits of the goop in his dirty-blonde mane. He looked like a filly who’d gotten a bit too into his spreading of sandwich condiments and the sight of all the jam couldn’t help but turn Rarity a little green.

“Dear, are you ok??”, Jewel asked in concern.

“Y-yeah.”, she trembled, “Just.... reminded of something...”

“Next up from Sweet Apple Acres... we got a pony of few words...”

“A pony of few words...”, Applejack repeated to herself, “No... he can’t mean.”

“It couldn’t be!”, Rainbow Dash’s thoughts co-insided with that of her fellow Element.

“No stranger to hard work and a good chowdown, give it up for Big Macintosh!!!!”

A roar from the crowd took the air as Applejack’s big brother climbed on stage. He’d barely gotten a few hoofsteps past his sister’s table before he heard her calling out to him.

“MacIntosh??? What are you doing?!”

The quiet pony just looked at his sister. “Eatin’.”

“Big Mac, I’m serious!!!”

“I didn’t tell you before, but.... I signed up the day after Rainbow Dash threw up in our hallway. I figured ya’ll would need extra support and after I reread some of those reports on the past contests, I can’t help but be glad I did!”

“Why didn’t ya’ll tell any of us???”

“If I had, would you have NOT insisted you were capable of doing this alone??”

Applejack just furred her brow as Big Mac took his seat.... and then all went quiet as they all knew who number 10 was and the look on Henry Rollins face was one of someone who truly hated to say what they were about to...

"Number 10.... From Manesechusetts... 10-time EWREC champion..... Champagne.", he spat out as the cheers and boos all seemed to evaporate as Champagne took the stage, his hooves making the only sound audible in the silence.

All the champion did in response... was give a cold.. cruel smile.

"You....", Henry started to snarl, but Champagne just looked at him as if he was little more than a speck of dirt.

"So... you're the big special guest of that queen, huh? You really think another freak of Celestia's is supposed to intimidate me? I've seen more fierce ponies in a cemetery!"

".....How the fuck do you sleep at night?", Henry growled.

"Very... very.... well.", Champagne replied as he took his seat next to Big MacIntosh, sneering at the quiet member of the Apple Family, "You... I look forward to taking that farm and turning it into rubble..."

Big Mac just looked at him in disgust and sheer disdain. "The day ya'll set foot on my family's farm is the day I eat my plow."

"An action I will take delight in, you inbred little retard.", he spat, snorting a puff of smoke onto Big Mac's face.

Henry just looked at Champagne as if he was gazing upon a pile of dog shit before turning back to the audience and muttering to himself. "Joe, if you were here, you'd want me to kill that fucker...". He took a few deep breaths as he regained his composure before turning back to the ponies and continuing. "Next up are our three judges, the ones who will be keeping track of the contest and giving the play-by-play to all you little ponies."

"You mean you're not gonna be doing that???", a small aquamarine-colored colt in the front row with an orange mane and a pair of scissors on their flank called out, "But Snails and I were told you were!"

The singer paused as he looked at the colt who spoke. "What's your name, kid?"

"Snips!"

"Well, Snips, I think someone's been f-- I mean... screwing with you. I'm just here for introductions and rules."

"But Diamond Tiara told me...."

"Well then this Tiara pony's a punk. May I get on with it?!"

Snips shirked back in his seat as Henry turned his attention to the nearby judges all sitting down at the nearby table, Microphones and water bottles at their ready. "Would the three judges please introduce themselves so we can start this fu---"

Pinkie Pie wasted no time in leaning to the microphone and belting out at the top of her lungs. "MY NAME IS PINKIE PIE AND I'M HERE TO ROCK! WOOOOOOOOOO!"

Her voice was so loud and boisterous, the shockwaves knocked the human off his feet much to the laughter of the pony group. Even Luna found herself snickering from the sidelines.

"That didn't look very comfortable.", she mumbled in between snickers.

Getting up and dusting himself off, Henry looked at the dragon next to her with a twinge of ice in his voice from the laughter. "And you are?"

"Spike! Faithful assistant to Twilight Sparkle!", Spike yelled, "I'm here as a judge too!"

"And the cat next to you?"

"Oh he's---"

"UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUURRRRRRRRRRPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP!!"

Before Meowth could stop himself, his cheeks bulged out and he let out a gigantic belch right into the microphone. The ponies that had just stopped laughing at Henry falling down lost all composure as massive hysterical laughter rang out through the fairground, Meowth's loud belch echoing ALL throughout the festival. Pinkie and Spike were laughing so hard they were close to tears and even Champagne's bodyguards were slapping the ground and gasping for air.

"Ugh.....", Meowth groaned as he patted his empty stomach, "Dat was bedda' goin' down den comin' u----"

The next sound that rang out was that of the microphone in Henry's hand breaking in two, the singer's frustration at its apex and leading him to clench the device hard enough to crack it like a twig. Immediately the laughter vanished as everyone shirked back in fear of the human's possible outburst.

"....May......I.....FUCKING...... DO..... MY..... JOB!?!?", he growled, looking at Mayor Mare watching silently from the side of the stage, her hoof barely able to suppress her own titters. All she was able to manage was a simple nod which only made the human clench his fist tight enough to elicit a sharp and painful crack and delivering a collective groan from the whole of the crowd. "I swear to fucking god, Ozzfest was more organized than this!!!"

"What's Ozz and why is there a fest for it??", Pinkie joked, getting a few scattered laughs. Rollins' eye noticeably twitched before he spoke.

"See me after the contest....", he muttered before clearing his throat and speaking to the crowd again. His voice was loud enough to where even without a microphone, the back rows could easily hear him. "Rules are simple! 9 rounds of dishes are gonna be served up to our contestants, courtesy of the magic of several of the volunteering ponies. Each meal will be replenished until elimination occurs. You hurl, you're gone. You press the red button under the table, game over. You try attacking another contestant, you're history! After each round, there will be a 2-minute break for the survivors to catch their breath and the next dish to be served. When 5 contestants remain, we'll have a 30-minute intermission to clean off the stage and allow me to, at the request of your princess, perform for you ponies."

This elicited a sharp round of cheers, bringing a small, satisfied grin to the rock star's face.

"Yeah, ya like that! In the end, whoever is the last pony still sitting at the tables will be taking home the grand prize of a million bits, a jeweled trophy, and 50 grand for their town! Our judges are here to provide commentary and give the scoop on the dishes and when a pony is sent out to pasture. I don't know about you all, but I see no reason to prolong the wait anymore. Judges, are you ready!?"

"WOOO!!!!!", Pinkie cheered in statute.

"BRING ON THE PAIN!", Spike added.

Meowth just looked at his two co-correspondents and took a swig from his bottle of water. "What dey said..."

"CONTESTANTS, ARE YOU READY?!"

"START THE FEEDING! AH'M HUNGRIER THAN---"

"Than a horse?", Henry snickered, only to get a loud round of boos from the crowd before him. "It's a saying in my world! Jesus H. Christ!"

"Not rightly a sayin' ah'd imagine ya should be sayin' again here.", Applejack groused.

"LADIES, GENTLECOLTS, FILLIES, AND PONIES OF ALL AGES.... LET'S START... THE 10TH ANNUAL EQUESTRIAN-WIDE-ROYAL-EATING-CHAMPIONSHIP!!!!!!"

Those words were all it took for a loud pandemonium of cheers and whoops to ring out through the audience. The time was finally at hoof and the chow-down was about to begin. As soon as Henry was off the stage, Pinkie Pie took over, chattering away into her microphone.

"And it's a BE-AU-TI-FUL day here at the Equestrian Food Festival and the E.W.R.E.C.! Pinkamena Diane Pie here with Spike and Meowth to deliver the play-by-play and chew-by-chew of all the action!"

Spike couldn't resist giving a glare to his exubarant co-host. "You know, we coulda introduced outselves."

Pinkie just laughed before she continued, watching the first set of silver covered dishes be levitated out to the contestants stations. "Our first dish is at the ready, would our contestants please lift the lids!"

In unison, the 10 ponies took the large dome lids off and were all greeted by the sight of 10 stacks of jars, all filled to the brim with a white, viscous substance and giving off a small, but pungent odor. To everypony's surprise, it was Noodle who was the first one to speak out what the substance was.

"Mayonnaise!?!?"

"That's right, ponies! We're starting this off with a lubricating amount of mayo, straight from the jar! Of course, Twilight taught me that mayo is most---"

A loud buzzing sound suddenly cut her off and the light in front of Derpy's table lit up. But nearly every pony there had the strong feeling she pressed it for the same reason.

"Derpy?", Rainbow Dash called out from her spot two places down, "You pressed that just for the sake of pressing, didn't you?"

Sheepishly, the cross-eyed mailpony nodded. "I like pressing buttons!"

"What an idiot..", Champagne grumbled.

Meowth sighed before he spoke. "Ok, Derpy's NOT gonna be eliminated for that pre-press since it also helped us make sure they're all connected up. But PLEASE refrain from pushing it again unless you want out of this contest, ok!?"

The grey mare nodded and stuck her hoof up in salute before taking one of the jars and starting to scoop the gooey contents into her mouth, the other ponies digging into the condiment as well at their own speeds.

"It's all eggy!", Letrotski yelled as some of the goo dripped from his snout onto his robe.

"Well it's made of egg yolks, what'd you expect??", Big MacIntosh called out, his own muzzle licking the insides of one of the receptacles.

"Mayonnaise...", Spike contemplated, "They decided to start this fancy contest with something we put on burgers???"

"Spike, I'm just amazed you guys HAVE burgers!!!!", Meowth remarked.

"Yeah...", Pinkie Pie admitted, twiddling her hooves together shyly, "When I performed that song for the buffalo, I didn't exactly do my research."

"Maybe that's why they all nearly went to a freaking WAR because of it!!"

"I know! I know!"

Meowth just looked at the two bickering before speaking into his own microphone. "Anypony here wanna fill Meowth in?"

"Mmmmmmm...", Applejack gulped down another mouthful of the creamy egg-lemon mixture, "It's like trying to swallow down a blanket!"

"Como no nome do espírito elevado é como comer um cobertor?" Noodle asked, his mouth full of the goo. His only answer came in the form of a loud belch from the cowpony.

"And A.J. rips a nice one!", Spike yelled as the audience laughed. Even Rainbow Dash let out a loud snort, only to gag as some of the mayo entered her nostrils mid-snort. Frantically, she rubbed at her snout until the condiment came out.

"Ugh, you made it go in my nose!", she complained with a hint of a snicker still in her voice.

"Você é um porco nojento..." the foreign pony glared with another swallow.

"Says the pony with a mouthful of mayo.", Twilight remarked.

"Dear, how can you understand what he's saying?", Rarity couldn't help but ask.

"I may not be able to translate, but I can tell by inflections, Rarity."

"Then what did he say?", Fluttershy asked.

"Likely something about her being gross."

Soarin' looked at the 3 empty jars in front of him, feeling pale and weakened. This was a tough task, way tougher than a simple routine. He could feel his chest tightening as if his arteries were begging for him to stop and he knew it wasn't worth endangering his health. But as he reached for the button to surrender, he felt a violent spasm in his stomach and he covered his mouth with his hooves, his cheeks starting to swell.

"Uh oh!", Meowth called out, "Looks like we're gonna see a comeback from Soarin' and NOT in the good way!"

"I can't watch...", Pinkie turned her head... cautiously peeking a blue eye through her hooves as if watching a crash about to occur.

Frantically, Soarin' reached for one of the empty jars and as soon as his mouth was above the container...

"BLLLLLAAAUGHHHH!!!!"

The poor wonderbolt vomited a healthy portion of the condiment back into the jar it had come from and soon the sound of a buzzer was ringing out as Henry took back the stage and went towards the pegasus.

"A shocking start as Soarin' blows it after 3 jars of egg goo!", Spike yelled, "Contestants can put down their containers!"

Almost reluctantly for some of them, they all placed back down their jars and squeezers and watched as they were transported out and replaced with towels for all of them to wipe their mouths off from the excess of the goop.

"Ok, I will be honest....", Henry marveled, "Any doubt I had on this whole thing being real... THAT just disproved."

"Wouldn't believe how many times Josh said that!", Rainbow Dash remarked, before a crestfallen look momentarily crept over her face. A couple hoof slaps and she had regained her composure, much to the bemusment of Henry and the competitors on either side.

"Keep it together, Dash... keep it together." She muttered to herself, rubbing her temples to try and clear out the indecision and momentary lapse in confidence. She couldn't keep relying on him like some sort of mental crutch. She'd been fine before the human was even introduced to her, she'd be just fine without him. "I don't need him.... I only need me."

As she looked at Soarin' being led away by Rollins, she took a few deep breaths and gave the judges a look of pride. She........

She was herself again. The fear was gone, the fright, the insecurity.... erased like a mistake. She was Rainbow Robin Dash.... Future Wonderbolt, Element of Loyalty, Creator of the Sonic Rainboom, and Professional Glutton. She didn't need someone by her side... she could handle this on her own...

They both could...

"Hey! A.J.!"

The cowpony turned towards her fellow Element. "Yeah, sugar?"

"....We've got this. We're the celestia-damned ELEMENTS!"

"Darn tootin'!", the blonde pony affirmed as she saw the next set of trays being lifted towards them and slowly being placed on the table, the silver coverings making a clatter as the magical aura dissapated. A faint smoky aroma wafted from underneath the covers of the silver platters and into their noses, almost immnediately identifying them to what their next dish would be.

"If this is what I think it is...", Derpy remarked, "Fluttershy's gonna faint, vomit, or both."

Big Mac and JamJar just gave Derpy a look of confusion.

"How much more can you ponies lose before getting anemic?!", JamJar asked incredously.

"How do you know they've puked so much?", Big Mac asked and even Champagne had to admit he was curious.

"Granny Smith told me about the hallway and the night terrors when she came in my shop for jellies.", he explained, "And Gilda told me the rest."

"Why would that rotten pile of feathers tell you ANYTHING?"

JamJar just glared at Champagne. "Buck off, bro."

Champagne chortled before Pinkie Pie spoke into her microphone again.

"CONTESTANTARINOS! PICK UP THE LIDS!"

Simultaneously the 9 ponies removed the coverings and soon found themselves looking at 9 very large piles of roasted meat, the scent of minced onions, garlic, cumin, and salt mixing into the air and giving them all a feeling of warmth and internal pleasure.

"ROUND 2 IS STEAKS! MADE FROM..."

At this, Pinkie Pie noticeably winced as she knew Fluttershy loved animals and would hate what she was about to say.

"Made from.....".

She paused again, making Henry yell.

"GET ON WITH IT!"

"Forgive me, Shy.... they went quickly.", she muttered softly before she continued, "Made from some of the plumpest, most tender cows in all of Equestria. Each grilled to perfection, cooked inside and out, seared with a mixture of cumin and garlic and marinaded in a thick smoky barbeque sauce for 10 hours to give it just the right texture...."

Fluttershy's reaction to hearing that was simply to pass out, much to the alarm of most of the group around her and, even though his mouth was watering, even Spike had to feel a sense of sadness for her, knowing how deeply and passionately she loved all creatures.

"Contestants... you may begin.", Meowth finished as the 9 ponies began to tuck into the thick slabs of beef before them, tearing at the flesh like wolves on a kill. It was juicy and tart and each bite seemed to erupt with flavor.

"This is so tender!!!!", Applejack remarked, "I just hope it wasn't any o' Granny's cattle."

"WOOOOO!", Bulk cheered, picking one of the planks of meat up and shaking it like a ragdoll, splattering the other contestants with driplets of marinade.

"Easy!", Rainbow Dash laughed, sheilding herself with her foreleg, "It's just meat!"

"BUT I LOOOOOOOOOOOVE MEAT!!!!", Bulk remarked with a roar before tossing the slab in his mouth into the air and snapping it up like a gator.

Spike just gave a bemused look at this before he spoke into the microphone. "Bulk you do know this isn't based on acrobatics, right?"

"Somehow...", JamJar muttered before swallowing a mouthful of meat, "I don't think Bulk gives a hoot."

The meat was cooked to perfection and it was almost no effort needed for any of them to chew through even the toughest bit of gristle. It was so tender and juicy, like biting into a farm-fresh apple, that each tooth sinking into the girth of the meat seemed to make more of the succulence of the dish burst with flavor.

"In the name of Celestia's grill...", Rainbow Dash grinned, "It's like... it's melting the moment it hits my mouth. If this is what murder tastes like, then murder's delicious!"

But one contestant was not enjoying the raw meat dish in the slightest. Noodle could feel the spit and gristle from Bulk Bicep's mouth ooze down his coat and leave him feeling unclean. He didn't even know if the meat before him was cooked properly and he knew all too well the risks of salmonella. With a groan, Noodle raised his hoof and slammed it onto his button, ending the round early and gathering a loud chorus of boos from the other competitors and judges.

"DA ROUND BARELY STARTED, COME ON!", Meowth protested as Henry approached the foriegner.

"With that, a very surprising and quick end to round 2 as Noodle throws in the towel! So much for the lands across the sea having more skill!"

"What. A. Weakling.", Champagne grinned as Noodle was led off stage and even Big Mac had to agree.

"He didn't even TRY it!", Rarity pointed out, "And he just quit?!"

"I think he was more fed up with how Applejack and Bulk Bicep's belching and drooling.", Twilight admitted, "That, or he just didn't think the meat looked cooked enough."

"Trust me.", Gilda smirked, "I could see the pink in that flesh. Noodle quit over your friends chowing down like slobs."

"Gilda, they're not that....", Twilight started to rebuff her, but quickly saw Rainbow Dash licking her lips and Applejack suckling her teeth, trying to loosen a piece of beef stuck between her incisors and realized the avian had a point, "Ok, so they're not exactly epicurian equines!"

"Even if they were.... this is NOT a competiton where you get points for acting like some hoity-toity bullshit!"

"Gilda!", Rarity chastised.

The Gryffin just looked at Rarity nonplussed. "If you think I'm holding my tongue just so I don't offend your dainty ears, you obviously don't know who I am."

"Still!", the unicorn remarked, "We're supposed to set an example for kids!"

"What kids?", Gilda asked.

At this, Rarity stammered a bit. "Well... like my sister!"

The gryffin just shook her head as she turned her focus back to the 8 ponies on stage, the space between Applejack and Bulk Bicep now holding two empty chairs. "Whatever you say, Belle... Whatever you say."

"So after two rounds, what do you think of the competiton.", Pinkie Pie asked Spike nonchalantly as she took a drink from her water glass.

"Kinda weak so far.", the dragon admitted, "Soarin' threw up after only 3 jars of mayo and Noodle didn't even TRY the steak dish. Not exactly high-quality gluttony."

"High quality gluttony...", Meowth mused, "An oxymoron if I eva' heard one."

"Oxywhat?", Derpy asked.

Meowth just pinched the space between his eyes and massaged the bridge of his invisible nose, trying to process Derpy's.... quirkiness for a few moments. "Forget I said anytin'..."

"Ok!", she chirped, getting looks of amusement from Dash and Big Mac nearby.

"Yer sumtin' else, ya know that?", Big Mac drawled.

"I thought I was a pegasus.", Derpy replied innocently, making Champagne slam his head on the table in sheer annoyance.

"So what do you think the next dish'll be?", Pinkie asked Meowth, "I have the list right here, but I'd like to hear what you think it'll be!"

She asked this a little too loud and soon the whole crowd was piping up answers.

"Cheese!"

"Milk!"

"Avacados!"

"Watermelon!"

"Beets!"

"Hot Dogs!"

"Pancakes!"

"Turnips!"

"Apples!"

"Pork Fat!"

At this last one, everyone looked at the speaker, a yellow-orange cowpony in western getup, in a look of perplexment.

"Braeburn.... WHY would pork fat be a dish?!"

The pony sheepishly rubbed his head. "All the good ideas were taken, I had to say something!"

"Ya must be a LOT of fun at Applejack's family gatherings...", Meowth remarked, remembering that he was the Element of Honesty's cousin.

"Well I don't like to brag----", he started to remark before Spike cut him off.

"SHH!!! The next dish is being served!"

Sure enough, as Meowth, Pinkie, and the crowd turned their attention back to the stage, they saw another set of trays being lifted onto the tables with the usual slight clattering of platewear. Immediately, Pinkie Pie looked down at her list of dishes and, upon seeing what the next dish was, a grimace came over her face.

"Oohh....", she sucked her teeth back in fear, "This one MAY cause somepony to upchuck. Contestants, you may unveil your meals."

Immediately, the ponies did and were greeted with the sigh of 8 places stacked high with large spiky orange fruits.... and an incredible odor from them making nearly all of the contestants cover their noses.

"Oh my Celestia!", Rainbow Dash yelped, "WHAT DIED ON MY PLATE!"

"Good heavens!", Rarity yelled, the scent reaching her, "MY EARS CAN SMELL THAT!"

Various sounds of groans and complaining filled the air before Pinkie, her own snout pinched between the cleft of her forehoof, spoke up. "That.... is Durian, a Galloyponesian delicacy known as "The King of Fruits. It's aroma is said to be so powerful that many hotels and trains in Equestria have outlawed these babies. I tried smelling one earlier to see what the fuss was about and well...."

"Well what??", Rollins asked, covering his nose and mouth to try and block out the smell.

"Let's just say Pound Cake's diaper smelled like roses compared to it."

"You couldn't give us clothespins, noseplugs, ANYTHING!?"

Spike shook his head. "Rules say we can't supply any utensils.... We asked specifically."

"Then how are we supposed to eat these if we can't even handle the smell?!"

"Hey, I'm just a judge. You're the ones who wouldn't let me enter!"

Champagne sneered and took one of the fruits, biting noisily into it and smacking his lips. "Might as well quit now, idiots!"

Angrily, the other contestants started to chow into the foul-smelling fruits, a good number of them struggling with the aroma.

"Ugh...", Letrotski groaned, "It's like somepony peed on a pineapple and doused it in kerosene."

"Un.... No, it's more like skunk fumes, cabbage, and rotten fish...", Applejack remarked, swallowing a mouthful.

"Really not helping my appetite, AJ.", Rainbow Dash grimaced as she took in another biteful of the king of fruits.

Even Big Mac, who'd earlier remarked on LIKING the smell, found it far more potent and overpowering when he was up close to the source.

"By begordy, it's like trying to bite into a burning tire!"

"Did you actually TRY that, dude?", Letrotski asked incredulously.

"Wha? No!", Big Mac insisted, "I was just using a meta-thingy!"

"MetaPHOR, you simpleton.", Champagne corrected him, effortlessly taking down another mouthful of the fruit.

Big Mac didn't reply, but just looked down at the pile of melon-like fruits before him.

Some of them were trying to cover their noses while they bit, but found this to be a more daunting task than expected.

"THIS IS SO GROSS!", Bulk Bicep remarked, wincing from the sour flavor.

"Just power though, Bulk!", Dash remarked next to him as she tried to swallow a mouthful herself, "We can do this!"

The bulky white pegasus just grimaced and took a tentative bite from one of the melons. Even the taste was sour and unpleasing to him.

At the far end, Applejack was gagging just from the pungent fumes entering her nostrils and she knew if even one droplet of vomit left her mouth, she was history.

"Celestia, don't let me blow it this early... please don't let all that training be for nothing.....", she prayed inwardly.

But as she reached for one of the fruits, the sound of a buzzer rang out and looking to her side... she quickly saw who had pressed it.

"Ah..... can't.".

With a sigh of defeat, Big Mac shoved the fruits off the table and placed his head into his hooves, ashamed of his performance. He just couldn't handle that smell anymore.

"And it looks like Big Mac has bit the dust!", Spike called out as Rollins approached the red bronco.

"Sorry, man. You gotta go."

Getting to his hooves, Big Mac nodded and turned to leave. But as he passed his little sister, he leaned in and whispered into her ear.

"Ya'll got this.... show that bastard the stock we Apples come from!"

Applejack nodded as the trays of fruits were lifted off the table and gave her brother a pat on the back in comfort. She had a slight feeling he'd thrown the round so she could survive.... but she wasn't able to call him out on it. She knew it was a rare time where the lie did more good than harm.

"Ah will, Mac. Ah love you."

"Love you too, sis.", the bronco remarked as he stepped off the stage.

In the middle chair, Rainbow Dash just rubbed her temples, trying to free herself of the mild migraine that had formed from the sourness of the fruit and the smell piercing her olfactory senses like a knife through warm butter. She almost felt a sense of lightheadedness from the headache and, as much as she hated to admit it, it was more than a little frightening. The pressure that she had put on her was starting to sink in and it was almost as bad as when she had to face Rarity in that exhibition show. Yet, she knew this time the stakes were higher. A loss then woulda only meant having to train again for another year. A loss in this contest... and Ponyville was as good as dead.

"Keep it together...", she chanted to herself, "You can do this, Dash. You got this."

Champagne just looked at the pegasus massaging her temples and grinned. "Might as well save what little face you have left and just back out.", he sneered with a cruel cackle.

Bulk glared at him before turning to Dash and patting her on the back... although in his exburance it came off as more of a thump and less of a soothing pat.

"YOU'RE DOING GREAT!", he coaxed loudly, each thump jostling her with every word that came out.

"Enough! Enough! I! Get! It!", she yelped in between thumps as she looked at her weather patrol partner in irritation. She knew he wanted to help her, but he had no idea of his own strength.

"JUST TRYING TO HELP!", he meekly, or as close to meek as he could get, replied.

Back in the audience, Granny Smith was shaking her head in dismay at her son being eliminated so quickly.

"Poor Big Mac.... He never knew what he was getting into."

"Yeah..", Gilda replied, "I'm a bit surprised too. Isn't he supposed to be like a rough-rider or some shit like that?"

Ignoring her choice of words, Granny Smith nodded. "One of the toughest broncos in all of Ponyville. And he was done in by FRUIT!"

At this, a slight chuckle escaped from Pinkie Pie, getting the attention of the other judges and the whole of the Apple Family.

"What's so funny?", Granny Smith asked irritably.

"I'm sorry, but.... you just said he was done in by fruit! It was like a trot-by fruiting!", Pinkie remarked before bursting out into laughter. Spike and Meowth just looked at her like she was on fire.

"You...... I got nothing.", Spike shrugged.

"Me neitha'.", Meowth agreed as he took another swig from his water glass.

"Sometimes, Pinkie...", Twilight added, "I wonder if you would benefit from seeing a therapist."

The Element of Laughter just pouted. "I thought it was funny!"

It was then Spike noticed the next set of trays being levitated to the table and he pulled on Pinkie's shoulder. "Pinkie! The next dish is being served!"

This brought her back to the present time as she leaned into her microphone. "Round 4 will begin shortly! Contestants, you may remove your lids!"

The 7 in-play ponies wasted no time lifting their tray covers and soon found themselves staring at 7 gigantic bowls... filled all to the brim with pimento olives, heirloom tomatoes, romaine and iceberg lettuce, croutons, baslamic and vinegrette dressing, jalepenos, ghost pepper spears, even shredded carrots decorated the insides. It looked akin to a bowl of foilage and ruffage in its purest and rawest form.

"Fresh from Fluttershy's garden, we got 7 servings of her famous Leafy Paradisic Spread! Filled with everything our moms said was good for us from olives to onions and coated with a light serving of vinegrette and teased with balsamic dressing, this meal's the dream meal for any vegetarian or vegan or even those just wanting to keep a healthy coaty luster."

Spike and Meowth looked at her, then at the bowls on the table, and shared look of disagreement. Neither of them were particularly inclined towards vegetables and they would rather have a nice juicy meat dish anyday, even though they made it a point to not eat the stuff around Fluttershy.

"Sometimes...", Meowth mused, "I wish Shy wasn't such an animal lover."

"It's what she is, Meowth.", Spike replied, "Same as I'm a gem lover and you're a lover of fish."

Meowth just traced a chubby finger along the edge of the commentator's booth in thought as Pinkie Pie spoke up.

"Contestants, round 4 begins now! Let's keep it green!"

With that, the ponies got to work tucking into the large salads. The taste was a refreshing change from the sourness of the durian and the spiciness of the steak meal, the lettuce crisp and cold, the tomatos ripe and juicy to the touch, and even the dressing giving it a sensible and lighted kick.

"Mmmmmm!", Derpy grinned, tearing a piece of pepper from the bowl, "Now THIS is more like it!"

"Ah tell ya, Shy can whip up a mean green scene anyday!", Applejack remarked, swallowing a mouthful of carrot and olive.

This got a blush from a re-awakened and slightly embarrassed Fluttershy. A glass of water and smelling salts from Cheese Sandwich had helped her regain conciousness after her little fainting spell.

"If only I could get such compliments from Angel.", she muttered softly.

"So I've been meaning to ask you something.", Gilda turned to Fluttershy, "What about the animals you take care of that have to..... well..."

Fluttershy knew what Gilda was getting at and inwardly was grateful for her rare moment of discretion. "As much as I love animals, I know some of my friends would perish if they weren't allowed to indulge in their carnivoric sides, so I have some selections flown in by Dashie and the Weather Patrol. Even Josh has contributed a bit, bringing special-made meats and feeding them to the animals so I don't have to get my hooves bloody."

"I thought he didn't come to your place anymore after Angel hit him in the nuts with that shovel."

She said this last part a little too loudly and suddenly a roar of laughter rang out from the audience and contestants and even Champagne had to fight hard to supress a smirk.

"I forgot all about that!", Meowth remarked, holding onto his microphone in laughter.

"Ouchtown!", Letrotski added, pounding the table in delight.

"Ok, everypony calm down!", Rollins yelled, but even Mayor Mare could see he was convusling in a bit of suppressed mirth.

Rainbow Dash just stirred a hoof around her bowl of veggies, trying to let the laughter die down and unsurprisingly not finding the memory all that funny.

"Let's just continue, ok?"

After a few more moments the chuckling subdued and the attention was back on the contestants at the forefront.

"So far we've seen Mayo, Meat, Melons....", Pinkie Pie paused, trying to think of a word starting with M to use for an alliteration of the 4 dishes served so far.

"Menagerie?", Spike suggested, "And remember, we got 5 rounds to go!"

"Still kinda shocked the Steak round ended so early.", Meowth admitted, "I'd have liked to see it drag on a bit! Feels like over a year I've been waiting to see this battle take place!"

"Feels like two years to me!", Pinkie added.

"Well it probably would have been earlier had complications not occurred."

Hearing Twilight Sparkle speak up, Spike looked back at his mentor. "Complications?"

"Yeah, like mental health issues, romance, other things like that. Probably kept the organizers from getting things done in a more sufficient and succtint manner."

"And there goes the fourth wall.", Gilda quipped, "Never even had a chance."

Back at the tables, all of the entrants had polished down their first bowls and now were tucking into the second set brought before them, albeit not as eager as before.

"Urp...", Derpy hiccupped softly, "Way too much in the vitamins...."

"Yeah, ya said it sis.", JamJar admitted, looking hesitantly at the bowl before him, his face turning a little green. Although considering all the veggies he'd had to consume in the small amount of time, that wasn't exactly surprising.

"Blech...", Dash grimaced at the taste of her sixth olive going down her throat, "When Twilight said too much of even a good thing is bad, she wasn't lying."

"How do vegetarians survive on just this?!", Letrotski asked incredulously, tearing at a particularly stringy piece of romaine.

"Hay if I know.", Dash admitted, "I don't even like most greens!"

Applejack opened her mouth to say something, but saw Champagne gorging on his dish nearby and closed her mouth.

"Remind me to have a very long talk with Dash and Bloom after this whole contest.", she mentally noted to herself only moments before the strident sound of a buzzer rang out and, as her and the other competitors looked on, they saw it was a pale-faced JamJar who'd hit it.

"That's it man.", he groaned, "Game over! Game over!"

"Oh! JamJar has hit the road!", Meowth yelled into his microphone a little too loudly, causing a bit of high-pitched feedback to pierce the ears of everypony in the vicinity as JamJar was led offstage.

"4 down...", Rainbow Dash told herself, "5 rounds to go.... Yet my stomach already feels full."

"MORE GREENS! MORE GREENS!", Bulk Bicep yelled as the half-empty bowls were lifted thanks to the magic of the nearby unicorns.

"Dude, you just ate 2 huge servings of salad!", Letrotski remarked.

"MORE! MORE!", he yelled, pressing his buzzer repeatedly.

"The judges would like to ask," Spike spoke, "to refrain from using the buzzers like room service!"

Pinkie just gave Spike a look. "Harshwhinny talk to you?"

"Where do you think I had to spend most of yesterday? Getting lectured over and over just to do this commentating thing!"

"How come she didn't ask for me?", Meowth asked.

At this, Spike noticeably stiffened a little bit.

"Spike? Aren't you gonna answer the question?"

"I'd....... rather not."

At the inflection his tone took, Meowth and Pinkie Pie immediately had the sinking feeling they knew why....

"She.... doesn't like me, does she?"

Spike shook his head sadly, "She..... her brother was in the E.P.A. She knows their actions were horrible, but she's not able to forgive either of you for him being taken away. Not just yet."

Pinkie Pie just bowed her head in solemn silence. "I can't imagine the heartache she must be feeling... Torn between loyalty to her brother and the knowledge that if he was allowed to stay....."

"Yeah....", Meowth remarked, "Compared to that, nausea must be NOTHING!"

The Element gave a nod. "With nausea, all that's needed is to throw up and it's over. You can't just vomit out a tear in your heart."

Meowth rubbed his paw against his cheek in thought as a second realization started to form in his head.

"She's pissed about what he's doing to Dash, isn't she?"

"It's not as much them being a couple... as the number of times Josh has said he'll never leave, only to do exactly that in less than a day, like some sort of perverse on-off switch malfunctioning in his brain. She respects Dash and thinks she doesn't deserve to be bucked like that."

Meowth and Pinkie looked at each other, not a single word coming out of them. They didn't know WHAT to say to that and it was only the sound of silverware clattering on the table that broke them out of their silence. Quickly regaining her composure, Pinkie Pie turned back to her microphone.

"OK! Round 5 is about to begin!"

She took a second to look down at her list of meals and a momentary cringe came over her face. "Hoo boy, this round should be quick... Contestants... lift your lids!"

Slowly, the 6 ponies removed the silver lids and found themsleves staring at 6 plates of what looked like buttered rice.... although two of them knew that it likely wasn't the case....

"Escamoles...", Rainbow Dash grimaced, "Great. Really yummy."

"That little dish before you is a specialty from Neighico. Escamoles or as it's frequently known, insect caviar. Edible pupae and larvae from various species of ants, boiled in agave and served with rice and parsley. High in protein, but also on the ick factor."

Sounds of disgust and groans filled the air, some of the ponies covering their mouths in horror, others going a fine foresty shade of green.

"Poor.... poor insects.", Fluttershy sniffed sadly.

"Poor insects? Poor THEM! They have to choke DOWN the things!", Gilda added, "They're just lucky they're at least COOKED!"

"How is that lucky?!", Rarity asked angrily.

Gilda just glared at her. "You realize you're talking to a gryffin whose been HOMELESS, right? I've had to eat insects RAW just for a meal in my gut!"

"Ugh! Stop!", Rarity screeeched, covering her ears, "I don't wanna hear anymore!"

The bird just rolled her eyes and huffed, crossing her wings in annoyance as the contestants begin to scarf down the plates of rice, pupae, and garnish. All of them wanted to spit them out the minute they hit their tongues. The taste itself wasn't bad, having a buttery flavor comparable to a rice crisp bar with extra salt, but it was rather the knowledge of WHAT it actually was that made the dish not as palpable for them.

"It's just rice...", Derpy repeated to herself, "Just rice with legs... I think I'm gonna throw up..."

"Enng...", Rainbow Dash swallowed down another mouthful and groaned, "This is wrong in more ways than I can count."

"Pathetic.", Champagne grinned as he effortlessly gulped down throatfuls of the pupae, "I could eat this stuff as full-grown insects!"

This comment made Derpy violently retch and she had to frantically cover her mouth until she could swallow the vurp that had come up her throat. She could feel the acid in the back of her throat, burning her uvula and feeling akin to gargling sulfuric cyanide. Tears welled in her eyes as she barely managed to get her stomach to take back in what it sent up, Champagne just soaking in her pain with perverse glee.

"You're a twisted bucker, man...", Letrotski took up for Derpy.

"You think you scare me, Mr. Letrotski?", Champagne boasted, "You think anything you say makes an---"

"Whoa, hold up.", the pony cut Champange off, "Mr. Letrotski's my father. I'm just... The Dude."

This made several members of the audience start giggling and Rollins himself gave the equine a nod of approval. Champagne just shook his head in disdain and continued his meal. But not 5 seconds later, the buzzer rang out again and all eyes turned to the presser.. a bulky white pegasus quivering like a baby.

"NO! NO I CAN'T! NO! INSECTS FRIENDS! NO!! NO!!!"

None of the the judges said a word as Bulk Bicep got up and stormed off stage, leaving a stunned crowd and crew looking on. Over a minute passed before Pinkie Pie finally was able to break the silence.

"With that... we're down to 5. Applejack.. Rainbow Dash... Derpy... The Dude... and Champagne.... We'll take a 30 minute break so Mr. Henry Rollins and the Equestrian Orchestra can perform for the festival and so our 5 remaining competitors can pause and catch their breath and get ready for the second half of the Equestria-Wide Royal Eating Championship!"

And as Rollins and a group of musically talented ponies took the side stage... different thoughts were forming in each of the survivors minds....

Letrotski's was mainly on the synergy and the strength so far expounded....

Derpy's was trying to free herself of the horrible taste of bugs on her tongue....

Applejack's was the thought of how much all the money would help her family and maybe even make it so her parents could stop traveling so much....

Champagne's was on only winning and tearing Ponyville to shreds....

And as much as she hated to tell anyone.... determined to regain her senses and show them all fear and emotion meant nothing to her......

Rainbow Robin Dash.... found her own feelings wondering one thing above all else.......

"Is......... he........ finally........ asleep?"
---------------------------------------------------------------
It felt hotter than hell.... like being on the surface of the sun.

The white sands blowing across the vacant landscape crunched lightly underneath his feet. He didn't know how long he'd be walking through this barren wasteland, nor did he know where he was anymore. The last thing he remembered was a kiss from Dash.... then darkness....

His eyes, wide and almost numbed, just kept staring ahead as he trudged across the desert. Sweat and tears ran down his face and dripped onto the ground like tears in the rain. He held himself tightly, clutching onto the sleeves of his coat as if to try and keep hold of his own sanity.

He didn't know how his face looked, although he imagined it had to look like hell from the blood burst in his brain and he even began to wonder if he was finally dead. If after all the attacks, all the trauma... his body had finally given up.

Not a single word had left his mouth since he'd woken up face down and found himself in this realm, like his mind was out of the energy needed for coherence. It was like being in that snowbank from the hallucination brought on by the attack from Thoroughbred all over again. But unlike before, he could see no shadows and hear no voices.....

All there was in front of him..... was emptiness.

His legs wobbled underneath him, threatening to give way as he trudged on and he fell to his fours, looking down at the sands for a moment before sitting up and resting back onto his feet. He felt empty and drained, like he wasn't even in a corpreal form anymore and it was only as he felt a square lump in his coat pocket that he was alerted to the fact that he still whole.

Reaching into his pocket, he pulled out a red and white carton and immediately recognized it as the same pack of cigarettes that he'd toyed with before.... He didn't know how he had gotten them, but at the moment, a nice drag felt pretty fucking good.

"Want a light?"

Hearing a voice finally pierce the air, Joshua looked up to see a figure, cloaked in sands and shadow, holding a large white lighter to him, as if offering to spark up for him. Without wasting a beat, Josh took one of the white sticks from the box and held it to the light, letting the tip glow with a sparse flame before placing it to his lips and taking a long smooth drag. It burned his lungs with pain and pleasure all at once as the nicotine was absorbed into his body, a few traces of oxygen quickly being exhaled in a puff of smoke as he breathed out and finally found his own voice finally returning.

"Smoke 'em if you got 'em, huh?" he whispered in a gravelly tone, one that was born from weariness and exhaustion. It was then his focus brightened up and he was able to make more of the figure before him out.

"Aw.... shit... you?"

It was the same figure he'd seen in that nightmare, the one who had claimed to be from his necklace. He'd hoped against hope that the whole dream had just been a delusion brought on by the stress of the situation he was in, but now he could easily see that it wasn't the case.... Although now.... the aura around the figure was different.... The anger and malice he'd felt before around him, the cold chill..... it wasn't there anymore..... Replaced with a feeling of serenity, albeit a very skewed sense of it. Yet as he looked into the wide red eyes of the figure.... he felt almost.... safer...

"I can see your mind is finally at a calmer stage.... maybe now we can actually talk."

"Talk?? What are you getting at?"

The shadows completely dispersed, allowing the human to get his first complete look altogether at the figure. He was a lanky-builded form, human in shape and wearing a crisp white coat akin to a shroud. His face was slim, but piercing as if his eyes alone had the ability to see all of a beings sins and truths. The lighter he'd held out was now resting in his lap as the figure looked at him curiously.

"My form is based on coherency.... When you met me before, you were wrapped in chaos and sorrow, were you not?"

Josh paused as he took it in with another drag from his cancer stick. "'Spose I was.... That mean that all I saw before....."

"How your mind itself was taking the situation.", the shrouded figure explained, "Now your minds sedated and relaxed.... so now you can see me in a more civil form."

Josh just shook his head and pinched the space between his eyes for a moment. "I don't even know your damn name..."

"I go by many names.... What I said before, even as warped as you saw me, was true... I have been around for a good few millenia and have taken many forms. Ponies, Sea-Serpents, Dragons..... but you are the first human I've shared a mind with. I've been called Anubis, Asmodeous, Yami, Nny, Atem, Bakari, even Dave."

"Dave?", Josh gave a slight grin. "The almighty and powerful DAVE??"

"A sea-serpent from the boonies gave me that one.... Not every single host is all there."

"Host?"

"It's what I refer most of my vessels as... Even your friend, Zecora, little time as I spent with her. She's a lucky one, someone who saw traces of me but was incompatible to shelter me."

"...Vessels? Incompatible? Do you hear how ridiculous this all sounds?"

"More ridiculous than a world of talking ponies?"

At this, Josh pursed his lips. "Continue."

"Zecora.... she is too pure to be able to see my sorrows. You, however, have the right balance of purity and flaw to handle my presence."

"So.... why not Celestia or Twilight Sparkle? They'd probably be better fitted to house you."

"Princess Celestia... she and Twilight share the same problem as your friend, Zecora."

"So you're saying...", Josh paused to take another drag, letting the smoke out his nose and mouth, "That because they're so devoted towards helping Equestria, they're too flawed to help you, yet an ordinary human suspected of eliminating his parents and slaughtering an assassin pony is perfect to inhabit?"

Josh pinched the cigarette tightly, snapping it in half before he continued.

"Do you have any idea, any comprehension at all how much utter and total complete BULLSHIT that sounds?! It's like someone's trying to mold two stories together, a comedy about a human in a foreign world and some third-rate sci-fi anime crap!"

The shrouded figure just looked at him irritably. "You quite done?"

Josh threw the broken cigarette aside. "All I wanted as for Meowth and I to get a second chance. To forget about my broken family... my miserable schooling.... Maddie.....", he paused and wiped a slight tear away, "Maddie.... How much losing her took out of me. How much I grieved, how much I cried...."

"I know... I know your memories. You blame yourself for her accident.... You blame yourself for a lot of stuff and assume you don't deserve to be happy... That all the pain you're enduring is some higher power punishing you for your "transcretions". You even think Rainbow Dash is sent here to hurt you... to break your heart all over again."

"The fact that I keep leaving after saying nothing will break our bonds should say that in plenty. I've become a goddamn joke."

"I want you to tell me... Before each time you were going to leave... what happened that triggered it?"

Joshua paused. "First was that article portraying me as some sort of drunken freak in the restaurant, then was that attack in Hardshells caving in part of my skull, then having to dig up Elbert's grave, and finally.... those cops...."

He clenched his fist tight. "Those policeponies.... they thought me as scum... and after what I did, how could I deny that. I DUG UP A GRAVE! In my world, that ALONE would have put me away for the rest of my life in some sort of asylum!"

"Exactly."

The teenager gave a strange look.

"Nothing that you described could be considered normal. You were put through some extremely traumatic events and combined with what you've ALREADY gone through, your feelings and your emotions were all over the place... Almost like emotional bipolar disorder."

"But I don't WANT this EBD or whatever! I don't want to be flip-flopping so damn constantly! Hell, this one pony, Trotchek.... I was at the fairgrounds last night and I heard him even asking what would be next to make me want to "leave forever", stepping on a goddamn spider!??"

The shrouded one just shook his head. "Ponies AND People find it easier to ridicule whatever comes out as strange or unusual. It's basic nature, something I can't control. All I can do is give you advice and help you."

"Then why did you first appear to me in that horrible... HORRIBLE nightmare??? You looked like something out of Silent Hill!"

This time it what the figures turn to pause. "Silent Hill?"

"It's a horror game series back in my world. Known for some extremely bizarre and unsettling matter. Point is.... All that talk about "an evil not even the Elements of Harmony could defeat on their own".... What was that? Theatrics? A premonition? WHAT?!"

"..................Like I said before... the way you see me corresponds to your state of mind and when you first met me, you were fractured and close to collapse."

"And the visions of my friends and Meowth broken?! What about those?"

".....That.... was a necessary evil. Even if you'd met me calm like now, I'd have had to show you them. That wasn't theatrics.... It was me trying to warn you...."

"And what about saying you wanted me to embed you!?"

".......................Do you know the REAL reason Celestia brought you here? Besides to "teach a new kind of wisdom". It was because of me.... I couldn't inhabit her body because of her level of purity.... I needed a vessel with the perfect balance of good and evil.... No pony or dragon or ANY creature here was suitable and I was low on time and if someone tried to take me by force...."

"Low on time?"

".....Champagne and Thoroughbred... they aren't the only ones..... There's other forces that want to disrupt Equestria..... Some of them are already planning, like Chrysalis and Tirek... Others are still coordinating.... But altogether..... They all have their reasons for wanting Ponyville and Equestria as a whole to crumble into havoc."

"Wait, wait.....Chrysalis? Tirek? The fuck are they?"

"Tirek is a cold murderous bastard and Chrysalis is a shape-shifting queen who can steal you away. Hopefully you won't ever have to face them as I don't see them particularly as being too threatening... But there are others.... Others who can't be swayed by just magical spells and love....."

"And I? I'M the one who has to fight?! Out of the BILLIONS of people in my dimension and the TRILLIONS of other dimensions out there, Celestia and you couldn't find a gladiator or a soldier or even a pro wrestler to join this world and help them!? I'M NOTHING SPECIAL, I'M JUST A 15-YEAR-OLD KID!"

"Turning 16 in a matter of weeks, but that's besides the point. No one ASKS to become my vessel and none of them want the burden... But in the end, they always agree, knowing that just turning away and having all their memories wiped would----"

"WHAT!?", Josh cut him off, "YOU MEAN IF I DON'T HELP YOU, I LOSE THIS WORLD TOO!?!?!"

"There is no other option. You'd have to be sent back to before Celestia found you. That would mean you'd never meet Dash or Twilight or any of them...... and Meowth....."

Josh covered his mouth in horror as he realized what he was getting at. "You....... you mean......... he'd be erased?!!?"

"I know Meowth didn't start life out like you and I know you consider him like your confidante. You even had Luna alter your memories..... as if he was ALWAYS alive...."

"You.. HOW DO YOU KNO----"

"Every. Single. Vessel. Every one of them asks me that same exact question. I know because when I enter your mind... every secret, every thought, every action, every goodbye you've EVER had...... I learn. I know the deepest and darkest secrets of you and everything you know. And now.... you have a choice. You keep mentioning you don't want the burden or the pain or the scars anymore.... I can make that happen and make it so you never knew about ANY of this. No more limp, no more scars, no more agony.... You'd be back to what you call "normal"..... Or...."

"Or?"

"Or..... you can accept this burden and this pain. You'll wake up on the fairgrounds and you'll forget meeting me, but you'll still have your knowledge of Equestria and you'll still have Rainbow Dash and Meowth and everyone you've met. Your physical and mental scars may never heal, but you'll have the means to cope with them.... So what's it gonna be? You want the pain to go away?"

Josh sat back, gobstruck and speechless. He put his hands against his ragged flesh, trying to free himself from this paradigm.

"My god..... I could make it all better..... But what do I even look like anymore?"

"Look in my face.... I'm as close to a mirror as you'll get in this desert."

Josh leaned in and pressed his hand against the spirit's head, rubbing it down along his stitched up skin and feeling every track, every drop, every single crease on his face. Seeing his wide red eyes, the stitching along the bridge of his nose, the cuts in his flesh, even the ear that was no longer whole thanks to the E.P.A.. He could see every mark that had been made, every patch of black hair that was never to grow again, even the cracks in his skull near his eyes. He looked akin to Frankenstein...... And this was it... The chance to go back to normal... No more nightmares... No more trauma.... No more agony. He could focus his time towards finding the truth out behind the loss of his family and building a better future for himself.

I'd listen to the words he'd say

Or he could keep his pain, keep his horrors, keep every single heartache delivered unto him..... And have a chance to start things fresh. Not just to save Equestria, but to free himself from the lies and the secrecy in his family. He'd likely have to say goodbye forever to what he had called a life on Earth, never to uncover many of the truths behind his past. He'd be a stranger in a whole new world, the only of his kind.

But in his voice I heard decay

"Rollins..... he's gonna lose his memories after this contest.... isn't he?"

The spirit nodded. "Very likely he will. As pure as your princess is, she'd have to make sure her kingdom was safe."

A plastic face forced to portray

The decision was an agonizing one. Knowing he'd likely never be able to completely go back.... He remembered Celestia told him she could bring him back to his world at any time, but the longer he stayed, the more complicated things could get and in time, he may no longer be able to traverse the realms. But if he went back now, he'd be free of all the pain and all the misery. No more ponies trying to kill him, no more therapy, no more anguish over hurting those he cared about.... that he loved....

All the insides left cold and gray

He thought about Meowth's creation, about meeting all of the Elements for the very first time... bathing Apple Bloom and making her laugh, starting up the Weather Patrol with Dash and Derpy, tasting a sweet from Sugarcube corner for the very first time... He thought about his friends back home, his school of Meadowland High, the streets of his hometown filled with life and activity, the bond he'd shared with Maddie....

There is a place that still remains

He remembered being abducted by Thoroughbred, being electrocuted and left for dead by Champagne, being attacked in that bathroom by Dev and fighting for his life. He remembered being thrown out of his family home, going to his parents funeral, watching Maddie get put to rest...

It eats the fear, it eats the pain

Every good and every bad, every single moment not just from his months in Equestria, but from the years back in his world. He inwardly imagined that at some point in time a scenario like what was happening was bound to happen.... But to happen at such speed.... Forced between two states of being.........

The sweetest price he'll have to pay

He knew deep down what he had to do... what he NEEDED to do. There was no other option....

"I..... want to stay."

The day the whole world went away

The figure before him nodded and held his hand out for the teen to take.

"I..... want to stay....", Josh repeated before taking his hand and shaking it.... and looking into the figure's eyes. "Kira....."

"Then.... SO BE IT!!!!!!!!!"
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Joshua woke up on the ground in alarm, his head spinning and reeling. He felt like he'd just awakened from a very long and very strange dream, although from the clock near the festival entrance, he could see only a few hours had passed since he'd taken the pill. But for the first time in a good many weeks.....

He felt... awake. He felt like his mind had been cleared and like he was a whole new person. Sure his bones still hurt and the blemishes on his body were still there, but mentally.... he felt reborn.

He was sick of saying he was leaving, he was sick of the notes..... Now all he wanted was to be there...

To be in Ponyville and never, ever leave.

And as he limped into the Ponyville Fairgrounds and the throng of ponies of the EWREC.... he knew what he had to do....
--------------------------------------------------------
"Thank you! Thank you!", Rollins yelled to the cheering crowd, "We got time for one last song and this is a favorite of mine! It's called Low Self Opinion. Let's hit it!!!!!"

The pony musicians took full force as the loud rock music began to blare one more time, Rollins nearly jumping a foot in the air with electricity.

I think you got a low self opinion man
I see you standing all by yourself
Unable to express the pain of your distress
You withdraw deeper inside
You alienate yourself
And everybody else
They wonder what's on your mind
They got so tired of you
And your self ridicule
They wrote you off and left you behind!

You sleep alone at night
You never wonder why
All this bitterness wells up inside you
You always victimize
So you can criticize
Yourself and all those around you.

The hatred you project
Does nothing to protect you
You leave yourself so exposed
You wanna open up when
Someone says lighten up
You find all your doors closed
Get yourself a break from self-rejection
Try some introspection
And you just might find
It's not so bad and anyway
At the end of the day
All you have is yourself and your mind

You sleep alone at night
You never wonder why
All this bitterness wells up inside you
You always victimize
So you can criticize
Yourself and all those around you

You've got a low self opinion man
I see how it breaks you down
I see how it messes you around

The self hatred that binds you
Blinds you
Grinds you
Keeps you down
The world falls down around you
You build up walls around you
You wears disgust like a crown
Oh, hit me!

As Octavia played the notes on the guitar, a feat impressive not just by her having hooves, but by her not being used to a bass, the 5 remaining contestants began to get back on the stage, all thinkng about what was left for them in this competition. They'd already had to digest mounds of mayonnaise, slabs of steak, drums of durian, swamps of salad, and extra helpings of escamoles, but they still had 4 more dishes to go and, other than Champagne, who could have cared less whatever was placed in front of him, they all were starting to feel the combined weight of the dishes curdled in the pits of their stomaches. Even Rainbow Dash, who'd had a hefty B.M. and barfed up most of her insides on the octopuke shortly before the E.W.R.E.C. began could feel the few remnants of her past meals interacting with the copious amounts of ingestibles she'd had to intake and it made her feel altogether disgusting.

"Gyugh..... I feel like 5 pounds of potatoes in a 1 pound sack."

"Well good thing I enjoy potatoes then."

Hearing the calm voice coming from the front of the stage, Dash sped towards the head and saw the teenage human standing at the front, his eyes more awake than they looked to have been in a good few days.

"Josh! But..."

"Dash... I could go on stage and give this big speech about how I'm sorry, I could pull off some fancy romantic gesture, I could do a number of things, but none of it would change the fact I did some really horrible things to you all these past few weeks. So all I can do is just admit I was a shithead and ask if you all can forgive me and we can try and continue what has already begun."

"That's it? That's all you have to say after how you've acted and messed with my heart these past few weeks!?"

"Yup. Did it work?"

Rainbow Dash just leaned down.... and give Josh a tight and sensual kiss. "Like. A. Charm."

Josh just smirked and patted the pegasus on her cheek lightly. "Then go on and win....."

"But... what about the tape? About showing what Champagne did???"

Josh pursed his lips a moment. "I.... kinda snapped the tape in two. Even if I played it, none of the evidence in it is clear enough and.... I honestly don't feel like scarring the minds and mentalities of every single pony here. We don't need it anyway. You can take this. I know you can."

The Element of Loyalty nodded with pride and trotted back to her seat, the band's song reaching its climax

If you could see the you that i see
When I see you seeing me
You'd see yourself so differently
Believe me

If you could see the you that I see
When I see you
You would see yourself differently
I assure you

I know the self doubt that runs inside your mind
I know the self doubt that treats you so unkind

If you could see the you that I see
When I see you seeing me
You'd see yourself so differently
Believe me

Low...... and so.
Low..... and so.
Low..... and so.
Low..... and so.
HEY!

And as the final few notes echoed out, Rollins and the ponies onstage bowed as Pinkie Pie, Meowth, and Spike got back in position at the judges booth, the familiar silver trays being levitated up towards the 5 remaining epicures.

"That was Henry Rollins of the Equestrian Orchestra! Weren't they amazing!", Pinkie cheered as she took hold once more of her microphone.

"Man, ya go all out wit' ALL yer festivals don't ya?", Meowth remarked.

"Yuppie yup yup! But now we have a little ol' contest to get back to... so without further time wasted... Spike, take it away!"

The young dragon nodded before turning to his microphone. "Contestants... lift up your lids!!!"

The gluttons did so, only to be greeted with 5 enormous jugs all filled with a familiar white liquid. They knew what was in them and it was Derpy who said what they were all thinking.

"It's.... milk???"

Meowth licked his lips, but cooled himself before giving an answer. "That would be right! Mother nature's liquid white gold. Milked from some of Equestria's finest cattle and kept in our special coolers for 24 hours. We thought it'd be something nice and quenching after all the rich foods we've given you so far. Same rules as usual, any of that milk comes back up, it's sweet dreams!"

"Can't imagine it'd be that sweet for whoever's puking.", Spike snarked under his breath.

Pinkie couldn't help but giggle. "Ok, contestants, let the drinking commence!!!"

"Heh...", Josh smirked from the side of the stage, "Haven't heard those words since St. Paddy's last year at Hooters."

With that, the ponies began to chug down the cold, creamy moo cow juice as fast as they could. The sounds of rich and vibrant gulping rang across the stage as memories of hot summer days and cookie binges fluttered through some of the minds of the onlooking audience.

"Reminds of all those afternoons sharing milk and hay cookies with Grandma Belle...", Jewel sighed wistfully, "She made THE best chocolate-chip-and-mint hay butter cookies, always serving them with a nice tall frosty glass of white nectar..."

"White nectar?", Fluttershy asked, scratching her head.

"It's what she used to refer to milk as, dear.", Jewel explained with a smile.

"Thast's a nice name for it!", the Element of Kindness replied brightly.

"Yeah, I LOVE when mom makes those cookies!", Sweetie Belle chirped, "Even the one time I ate too many and threw up in the laundry hamper!"

Rarity covered her face in embarrassment at the last remark. While she was all for candidness, there was a point where it was bordering on flat-out humiliating. Back on stage, all the competitors had finished their first jugs of milk and were starting on their second, prevelant milk mustaches on more than a couple of them.

"Mmmmmmmm! Creamy!", Letrotski grinned, guzzling down his second pitcher.

"Starting to feel like a full-blown cow!", Dash added, licking off some of the excess milk.

"Aren't you that already?", Champange shot at her, getting nothing but silence from the audience, none of them wanting to be the one to credit his callousness with a response, "LAUGH!"

The only reply to that was somepony cutting a short fart and the pony next to him saying "Dude, you beefed."

Champagne growled and went back to downing his jug, Rainbow Dash giving a silent 'thank you" look to the crowd before her for not egging him on or giving him the laughter he sought.

"You have some serious, serious issues.", Letrotski murmured, giving a death glare to Champange.

But for one of the ponies, all the milk was starting to sicken her. She was unused to drinking so much in such a short span on time and she could feel some of it starting to come back up. Frantically, she clutched the table and attempted to swallow down what was about to happen, but her stomach spasmed and she knew there was no avoiding it. Tears were running down her face as she covered her mouth and she barely was able to turn away towards the ground before she opened her mouth and....

"Huuuuaaaaaaggghhhhhhh!!!!"

A thick white stream of mliky puke erupted and splattered all over the stage, much to the disgust and shock of the crowd before her as the end of round buzzer was sounded.

"I..... I don't believe it.... Applejack..... is out!"

Pinkie Pie was barely able to get the words out before the Element of Honesty vomited all over her table, some of the liquid coming out her snout and her tearducts. It felt like hell was washing over her and all she could do was heave until the feeling passed. A feeling of silence overcame the audience as Rollins approached the muck-covered pony, although noticeably keeping his distance from the nauseated cowpony.

"I'm.... sorry. Ya gotta g----"

"Huuuuaaaarggggghhhhh!"

Poor Applejack doubled over and threw up into her lap, tears pouring down her cheeks. She felt humiliated more than ever before. Even when she'd failed at the rodeo it wasn't this bad. Even as the last wave of nausea came out of her, the bulge in her stomach diminished a bit, she didn't want to look up at the horrified faces of her kin.

"DARLING!"

""A.J.!"

The cries of Granny Smith and Apple Bloom rang out as they leapt out of their seats, Twilight shaking her head in dismay before turning to Rarity.

"She tried chugging it too fast... That's what did her in..."

"All I know is I'm not gonna be drinking any milk for the next few days.... or maybe weeks.", the Unicorn remarked, pale in the face, as Granny Smith held a crying Applejack close to her.

"Shhhh shh.... sweetie it's ok."

"Ah...... ah lost...."

"Sis, what happened?!", Apple Bloom blurted out, getting a coarse look from her grandmother.

"Ah.... ah don't know... Ah was just drinking it down..... next thing ah know, it's coming in reverse!"

".......It coated her throat."

Hearing Rollins nearby, Granny Smith turned and saw the singer looking down at them, although still keeping his distance considerably.

"Pardon, sonny?"

"Trying to consume creamy anything in rapid amounts has to be done at a smooth rate. If it's too fast, it'll coat the back of the throat and lead to getting violently sick. Saw more than a few chugging contests go sour that way really quick."

Applejack just let out a shuddering sob, wiping her nose and her mouth off on her forehoof. "Granny.... Ah'm..."

"DON'T. Don't you apologize for a durn thing! You did nothing wrong!"

"But.... but ah failed... and ah made a complete idi----"

"I SAID DON'T!", Granny Smith insisted, "You have nothing to be ashamed of! You did your best and that's all that matters."

The cowpony sniffled, coughing a bit. "Ah... Ah'm.. Mah head is throbbing."

"There's a med tent nearby.", Rollins informed them, "Go on, get some rest."

The blonde equine shook her head.

"Ah may be sick, but ah ain't leaving mah girlfriend alone!"

This got a raised eyebrow from EVERYPONY and even Josh and Rollins had their heads tilted. The cowpony just gave a mixture of a groan and a grunt and staggered off, Apple Bloom looking on in concern, as Pinkie Pie spoke again.

"Well it seems we're down to the final 4! Dashie-kin, Derpy-Kin, Dudie-Kin----"

This got a big snort and a bout of laughter from Spike. "You said doody!"

Pinkie gave him a look of confusion before continuing, "And.... Champagne-Kin."

"And it looks like the next dish is already in place!", Meowth added, watching the last of the silver trays get placed before the 4 still-seated ponies. Pinkie Pie looked down at her list and immediately grimaced,

"Ugh... this is gonna be messy... Lift up your lids!"

On cue, the four ponies removed their covers and found themselves looking at four large half-balls of soft and delicate cream-colored delicacy. Inside each one looked to be, for lack of a better word, tears being wept from the dish and oozing over the sides of the edible. The throbbing and vibrating alone of the insides was enough to make Dash, Derpy, and Letrotski cover their mouths.

"Ugh, I'm gonna be sick....", Derpy groaned, her cheeks swelling violently for a few moments before she was able to swallow down her mouthful.

"And Derpy barely manages blowing it before the round even starts!", Spike shouted, getting a fair amount of hissing and jeering, "What?! It's my job!"

"What... IS this!?", Letrotski managed to gasp out.

"Oh! Oh! Can I do this one?!", Spike asked eagerly. Pinkie Pie just gave him the section with the dish written on it with little hesitation, "THIS little dish is called Casu Marzu.... Boy, it sounds like the noise I make when I sneeze!"

"Casumarzu! Casumarzu!", Meowth added with a fake sneeze, getting a few more laughs before the dragon continued.

"This is a fermented cheese dish from all the way in Northern Gardinia, made with Pecrino cheeses ripened in the sun and filled with fly pupae. Once the eggs hatch from the pupae, the larvae get to work eating and breaking down the...."

Spike stopped, hearing the groans coming from behind him.

"I am NOT reading the rest of this, I can already hear the ponies behind me gagging."

"Yeah... Just.... Begin.", Pinkie Pie gestured, more than a little disgusted herself.

With a great deal of reluctance, the 4 ponies got to work, chowing down on the semi-dairy delight. The taste was not a pleasant one to any of them, not even the two dairy-lovers in Dash and Derpy, having a texture of spoiled onions and sour milk mixed with dry pasta. The cheese itself was overripened, giving a sharp and stinging flavor comparable to sharp cheddar, but if it had been the cheese by itself, it wouldn't have been so bad.

No, the hard part was the crawlies INSIDE. No attempt had been made to extract the pupae and maggots from the dish after their job was done and Letrotski immediately experienced one of them launching into the air and into his mustache.

"FUCK! FUCK!!!!!!", he screamed, scrambling frantically to get the chigger out of his facial hair.

"HEY!", Diamond shouted from the audience, "KIDS HERE!"

"Daaad!", Sweetie Belle whined in embarrassment.

"Hey, lay off!", the buzz-cutted pony in the bowler's shirt behind Diamond scolded, "Least he's not doing it on the Sabbath!"

Diamond Belle just turned around in pure confusion. "Do you even know what that IS, Trotchek??", he asked.

"I know it's a special day!!!!!"

"Guys...", the red-shirted earth equine next to Trotchek piped in, but was quickly cut off by his friend.

"Donny, you're out of your element!", Trotchek admonished him before turning back to Diamond, "He's out of his element!"

"Look, just keep the swearing down, ok? I've got 2 kids who DON'T need to hear that kind of languag---"

"FUCK THAT! I FOUGHT FUCKING DISCORD WHEN YOU WERE IN FUCKING DIAPERS!"

"Oh, that's REAL classy!"

"Walter, please...", Donny tried to speak up, "You'll get us thrown out like at the bowling alley!"

"OUT OF YOUR ELEMENT!", Trotchek repeated angrily.

"Did you........ like have some sort of stroke to where that's all you can say?", Rarity turned irritably towards the angry bearded equine.

"You don't speak like that to me!"

By now, the audience, the contestants, even Champagne, had stopped eating, and were all watching the spat with interest. Donny was slinking down in his chair in mortification and Letrotski on stage was just as much in chagrin.

"Dammit, not again...."

"Dude, what's his problem???", Rainbow Dash asked, her mouth full of the soft cheese.

"He thinks because he fought the former element of Chaos, he's entitled to act like a buffoon.", Letrotski remarked with the same kind of tone as if he was reminding an employee once again not to photocopy their flanks on a company printer.

"Wait a sec...", Derpy chimed in, "I remember reading about something a few weeks ago in the paper."

"You can read?", Champagne snerked.

"There was an incident involving the Cutie Mark Crusaders and a bowling ball nearly hitting a pony.... they mentioned the name Trotchek... that him??"

"Eeyup.", Letrotski remarked.

"Hey I don't care to have my sister's ears TARNISHED with such gutter talk!", Rarity stuck her snout in Trotchek's face.

"Celestia... please stop it...", Sweetie Belle felt like she couldn't slink down any lower than she already was.

"LIsten, prick! I don't care if you ARE the Element of Giving or whatever bullcrap like that! Show a veteran a little damn respect!"

Rarity glowered at him, hearing Fluttershy eeping on the seat in front of her. "I think you'd best leave.... NOW."

"Why should I!?", Trotchek shouted "I'm just cheering on my friend!"

From the side of the stage, Josh just ran his hand down his disfigured face in annoyance before making his away over to the crowd. As soon as she turned and saw Josh approaching, a grin spread over Rarity's face. She remembered how angry he'd gotten when she'd yelled at her sister and Fluttershy and, as much as she didn't want to cause the human more aggravation, she wanted nothing more to do with this brute. At this point, even the judges had stopped coaxing on the eaters and were looking at the two ponies fighting, entranced like moths to a flame.

"No, you're acting like a first-class brute!", Rarity remarked, "Just go... NOW!"

"Or what? You'll whine at me some more??"

".......Whining???", Rarity paused, as if affronted, "Whining??? Sir, I am merely insisting. You want to see whining?"

Rarity cleared her throat, rubbing her hoof along her gullet as if warming up her vocal chords before she spoke again, her voice much shriller and tinnier than before.

"THIS is whining! WHY can't you stop being so mean! We're just delicate little ponies! WHY are you wearing a set of sunglasses with that tacky shirt!? WHY does your breath smell like a mixture of onions and wet dog fur??"

This got an assorted reaction of laughter and applause and even Josh just gave her a look of impression. Trotchek opened and closed his mouth wordlessly, like a goldfish, and from next to Mayor Mare, the fair Princess Celestia gave a knowing grin.

"What's that's saying all the young fillies are using nowadays?"

"I think you mean, "like a boss"?", the Mayor replied.

"Well I think Rarity handled that... as you said, like a boss."

Trotchek just gave a terse snort of disdain and stormed off, muttering about her not being worth his energy. Donny quickly got up and ran after him and with a sigh, LeTrotski slammed his hoof down on his button, ending the round, and got up.

"That's my cue to leave... Was getting maggots in my do anyway.", he remarked before nodding to Derpy and Dash, "You two gals have a mighty fine day."

Then he turned to Champagne and just gave him a sad shake of his head before trotting off the stage. It took almost a minute before the commotion had died down and the Belles were all back in their seats. Getting herself readjusted, Rarity turned to the teenager standing only yards away.

"Don't think of me as just another pretty pony.", she remarked coyly.

All Josh did in response was nod. "Sorry about---"

"Forget it.", Rarity cut him off. She knew what he was gonna say and at this point, it wasn't needed. "Mistakes got made on both ends. Leave it at that."

Josh opened his mouth to retort, but was cut off by a coarse voice behind him.

"Let it go."

Turning, he saw Applejack standing there, still looking slightly green, but firm. He knew she should have been resting in the med tent... yet at the same time.... He knew she'd rather die cheering on her friend from the forefront than miss out on anything.

"As you wish, A.J.", he replied, holding his hands up in resignation and, with a slight chuckle, went back to the side of the stage, the gravel of the ground crunching beneath his shoes with a soft crackling noise. At the same time, the three judges had regained their senses, or what modicum of them they had anyway, and were busy discussing what had just transpired.

"With that, LeTrotski has hit the road!", Pinkie Pie shouted, "We're down to the final 3!"

"Derpy... Dash... and.........", Spike took a long pause.

"The name you're looking for is Champagne, you cretin!", the champion yelled from the stage as the trademark platters were levitated before them.

"The name we're looking for.... we can't say due to the fact dere's little kids here.", Meowth remarked, getting a large "ooooooooh" in unison.

"That... was a good burn.", Rollins nodded in approval.

"Anyways.", the cat continued, "The next meal is in front of you. Just two more rounds and we'll have ourselves a king-sized king or a queen-sized queen!"

"Amen!", Rainbow Dash agreed, patting her big belly and listening to the BOOMPH noise her hoof made smacking against her newly-gained girth.

"We got this Dash!", Derpy added with a slight hiccup, covering her mouth and blushing. She'd packed on nearly as much as her fellow pegasi and the two shared a knowing look. She may have been a bit of a bubblehead (especially now having the butt to match), but Derpy knew the cost of losing would be dire.... But it wasn't even just about money or the town anymore......

Both pegasi had genuinely grown to hate the champion. Not just for the attempted murder, not just for nearly driving their friend to the depths, but they saw him as everything wrong with what it meant to be a winner. Coarse, cruel, and willing to kill, he was no better than Nightmare Moon had been... but while Moon had been redeemed.....

Such an option was not even possible for Champagne.

"We do, Derpy....", Rainbow Dash thought to herself, rubbing her stomach. She gave a slight grin as she marveled over all that resided inside her gut. "I look like Mrs. Cake did when she was expecting the twins..."

"HEY!", the co-owner of Sugarcube Corner yelled out, even though her husband, sitting next to her in the audience, was laughing to the point of tears and Pinkie Pie was giving a stifled snort laugh into the microphone, causing ponies not even in the audience to look at one another in bewilderment at what the joke was. It took the Element of Laughter a minute or so to calm down before she could speak back into her microphone.

"Contestants, remove the lids!"

With that, the 3 ponies drew up their lids and found themselves looking at a rather..... banal looking meal. 3 piles of flat white meat, slightly jiggling like jello, yet seeming to give off sparks, implausible as it may have seemed, stared back at them. It could easily have been mistaken for marshmallow goo if it weren't for the firmish texture the dish seemed to exude. But not even Champagne knew what the hay he was looking at.

"O...k....", Rainbow Dash said cautiously, looking at the pile on her platter, "Somepony care to explain what the hay we're looking at?"

Leaning down, Derpy sniffed at the dish curiously, then scrunched her snout in disgust. "It smells so... rank."

"Can't be worse than the Durian.", Rainbow quipped.

"That....", Pinkie Pie spoke up, "Is a burrweigian dish called Lutefisk...."

"IT GIVES YOU THE TERRIBLE SMELL!"

Hearing a loud voice from behind her, Pinkie lowered her eyes in a little bit of annoyance. "Yes, thank you Cotton.", she remarked, recognizing the speaker as a frequent and elderly customer named Cottonhill Planter, "This dish is a traditional meal made from dried haddock and coated with lye. A plain, yet complex dish, upwards of a week is required to make this dish, gelationous and caustic, safe for consumption. Obviously, the cooking directions were followed to the letter and the piles of Lutefisk in front of you are 100% edible. It's even been seasoned with pepper and cream to give it a little kick!"

"Those study lessons with Twilight are doing you AMAZING!", Spike marveled. Pinkie gave a slight blush at the comment.

"Wait, hold da phone....", Meowth sputtered, "DAT'S fish?! It looks more like some sort of fat!"

"HA! TOLD YOU!"

After shushing Braeburn, Pinkie Pie turned back to the microphone. "After this round... only 2 of you will remain. Contestants... you may begin! Commence the eating of fishery!"

With that, Dash, Derpy, and Champagne all got to work digging into the mounds of soaked fish meat. The taste of it, admittedly, wasn't that bad, the cream sauce and bits of ghost pepper giving the haddock sort of a juicy tone, definitely a far step up from the horrible rotten cheese of the last round. While none of the three of them were as big of fans of fish as Meowth and Spike were inclined to be, they all had to admit this was a pretty tasty treat compared to some of the other meals of the contest.

"Nnrrrgh!", Dash growled, tearing a piece of haddock with her teeth and slurping it up with a satisfying smack, "Tough, but tangy..."

"Grrrrr....", Champagne snarled as he tore into his pile like a wolf to a kill, significantly disgusting Derpy and Dash.

But as they all were consuming the dish, Derpy, the pony in the middle, began to feel a queerish feeling in the pit of her stomach. She paused, a piece of fish halfway in her mouth, and looked down at her belly, rubbing it soothingly.

"There there, tummy, it's just fish. We've had worse already...."

Hearing the soft grumble in reply, the blonde kept pace with the two on her sides, Dash on her left and Champagne on her right. For all 3 of them, their mouths were starting to get a little tired from having to take down so many different courses. Champagne even had to pause a second to massage his jawbone and, almost out of sheer reflex, Derpy spoke up.

"You ok?"

Champagne just sneered at Derpy's unexpected query and focused on his plate of fish. The act of rudeness shouldn't have been so surprising, but the silence couldn't help but sting the pegasus... although she didn't know if it was from that or from the lutefisk.

"Look at 'em...", Meowth mused, "Enjoying warm, creamy fishy-fish. We've had to deal with some horrendous dishes, haven't we?"

"Yeah... we have.", Pinkie Pie agreed with the feline.

"But seeing something like this... bland as it may be and plain as it may sound.... it's... actually kinda cool."

"In a weird way... I can see your point!", Spike admitted, "There's been so much activity and chaos this contest that it's kinda nice to just see normal gluttony in action. Heck, I'm just glad Discord didn't make any of the edibles! He'd have probably put in rubber eggs or something!"

Meowth paused a second. "You and the others keep mentioning Discord.... who IS he??"

Pinkie Pie just gave a soft sigh, "Let's just say the line of partying and anarchy... he crosses pretty badly"

"Yeah...", Spike added with a wince.

"Well where is he now???"

At this, Pinkie Pie actually scratched her chin a bit. "Not exactly sure. I remember hearing from Celestia she was considering trying to reform him, but I don't know what she's gonna do.

"I thought Twilight was the one with the connection to her...", Meowth remarked.

"At this point, we're ALL kind of "in" with her. Like one big happy family!"

Spike and Meowth just looked at each other dubiously as the 3 equines continued their feast, although one of them was slowing down considerably.

"Uhnn......", Derpy moaned as she swallowed another piece of fish, feeling the haddock not go down well at all. As she rubbed her eyes, she noticed the world around her was spinning, more than the usual. Her head felt hot and her breath was starting to quicken. It didn't feel like nausea... more like she was having trouble even thinking, and as she turned to Rainbow Dash, her own words began to sound distorted and garbled as if talking underwater.

"Dash.... Are we moving?", she wavered, the noise sounding as if it was echoing in her ears.

Rainbow Dash looked up from her plate of fish and placed her hindleg on the stage for a few moments. "I don't think so, why?"

"It... it sure feels like we're spinning....", the gray pegasus quivered, wiping her head and feeling beads of sweat come off on her hoof, before turning back to her meal and leaning towards her plate to take in another mouthful. It was at that point that Rainbow Dash looked up in confusion.

"Derpy? What are you talking abou---"

It was then, as she tried to bite into another bit of the lye-soaked fish, that Derpy's breathing grew even more frantic, almost like her entire body was tightening up, like a thousand constrictors were closing in around her.

"Derpy?? Derpy are you ok?!"

Derpy turned towards her... and the look on her face nearly made her scream. Her head was SOAKED in sweat, the veins in her eyes pulsing violently like the heartbeat of an adrenaline seeker. Small ebbs of blood dripped from her nostrils, forming crimson-colored lines. Her breath was ragged and labored to where it felt like each exhale was threatening to topple her over. Immediately, Dash, Rollins, Josh, and anypony in the vicinity knew what was going on....

"DERPY! SPIT THE FISH OUT!!!!!"

The mailmare spat the few bits that weren't down her throat back onto the plate, along with a copious amount of saliva.

"I... I can't breathe.... Dash... I... I can't breathe!!!"

Even Gilda was looking on in alarm at the spectacle. She knew what was going on, having witnessed a similar occurence during a prize fight.... and in that instance.... the result was horrible...

"No.... not again...."

As he watched Derpy's reaction, Josh remembered that he still had the "medicine" from when Applejack had been poisoned and slowly withdrew the remnant of the white pill from his coat pocket. He'd wanted to send it to the police ponies for analysis, but he also knew what was affecting Derpy Hooves... and unless she got it all out of her system immediately.... things could grow fatal.

"DERPY! CATCH!"

Without a second thought, he tossed the pill over to where Derpy was sitting... only for it to nail Dash in the side of the head.

"OW! Josh!"

The teen palmed his face for a moment. "Just give it to her... NOW!"

Realization at what Josh was trying to do filled her and, without wasting even a moment, she stuffed the small pill into Derpy's oversalivating mouth and covered her lips until she was forced to swallow it.

"Derpy...", Dash said with a tone of urgency, "Hit your button now and get to a bathroom. Josh will go with you..."

"Huh...", Derpy looked at her in confusion.

"Derpy... you're having a severe allergic reaction and starting to go into analingus shock..."

"...Not even touching that one.", Rollins thought to himself, knowing she meant Anaphylactic.

"You NEED to throw all that lutefisk up.... get it out of your system before it poisons you even more!"

"But I'll---", Derpy started to speak, but could feel the medicine getting to work on her midsection and clutched her gut painfully, "I'll lose...."

"Derpy, the longer that fish stays in your stomach, the worse you're gonna get!"

"But,.... I.... .....You always say winning is everything, especially now!!!!!"

This remark actually took Rainbow Dash back a bit. She knew was on the competitive side, hardcore, but she didn't realize she actually had said that!

"I....", Dash rubbed her head, Champagne not paying ANY attention to the choking pegasus, "Derpy, there are times when the cost of competiting is not worth the win. If you keep forcing that poison down your throat, you're gonna be leaving this contest in a coffin.... and I... I don't want to bury you. You're a year younger than me, I shouldn't have to lay my friend to rest before we're even adults!"

By now, the medicine was kicking her nausea into overdrive and tears of pain began to well up in her eyes. To be taken out by an allergy she didn't even know she had.... it was like a punch to the gut for the young pony and Dash could see the shame mixing with the agony on her face. Purple veins were beginning to pulse on her neck, her throat nearly swelling shut. Derpy just sat there for a moment and cried, feeling horrible in every conceivable way possible. She knew Dash was right.... her throat was sealing up and if she didn't purge herself of the poison soon, she'd drop dead right there....

"This.... this.... this.. REALLY sucks..."

Rainbow Dash patted Derpy's head soothingly. She could see her gullet beginning to expand, the bile and fish starting to be sent up and she knew soon Derpy's pain would be over. "I'll win this, Hooves... I promise."

Derpy sniffed and slammed her hoof down on her button before leaping to her hooves.... only to fall right back down, her equillibrium in a wreck. The next thing Derpy knew, a blurry figure was climbing on stage and reaching towards her....

"Mommy.... is that you?", she whispered.

When he heard this, Josh felt his OWN voice go mute in sorrow. Wordlessly, he picked her up, similar to how he'd nursed Dash, and carried her off stage. Rainbow Dash just wiped her eye, remembering that Derpy's mother had passed on years ago and wondering if it was just the chemicals of the allergenic fish causing her to think she was there. At the judges table, all 3 were swallowing back emotion.

"And....", Pinkie Pie gulped, "We're down to just two...... Rainbow Dash of Cloudsdale and Champagne of Manehattan...."

"Yeah...... We'll take a 10-minute break before the finals so we can make sure Derpy is ok...", Spike added.

Mercifully, there was a bathroom very close to the stage, allowing Josh to get Derpy inside in less than a minute. He knew the sign out front signified the bathroom as "Mares and Fillies", but he wanted to make sure Derpy was comfortable when she purged herself free of her poison. He was concerned that she'd choke to death on her own vomit or break her ribs from the contractions. In the condition Derpy Hooves was in thanks to the unknown allergy, if she was left on her own at this point, odds were that she'd pass out and aspirate on her own bile.

"Derpy... Derpy, can you hear me?", Josh repeated urgently to the pegasus in his arms as he went into the nearest stall. He could see Derpy going green in the face and knew he had little time to get her situated to vomit safely.

"I......... I.....", was all Derpy could get out before she started violently gagging and retching, forcing herself to purse her lips and feeling the bile and the remnants of her meals racing up her throat.

"With how much I do this, I should get a job in a damn hospital...", Josh thought to himself as he lowered Derpy over the porcelain toilet, helping the pegasus get in position. By now her face was matted in sweat and her breathing was growing weak and Josh knew he had to work fast. He placed her hooves on the side of the bowl and helped her get into a comfortable position, resting on her haunches and looking into the water. Immediately, he began to rub her back, cooing to her.

"It's ok... I'm here... You're going to be ok."

Derpy finally was able to look at the human with her, her cheeks the size of beach balls and give him a look of gratitude before she leaned into the toilet bowl and barfed, her mouth opening up and starting to expel the khaki-colored bile and the multicolored meals.

"Blllleeearrrrrggggghhhh......"

The feeling was unholy, but she knew the medicine was helping rid herself of the toxins. The entire time, Josh just kept stroking her back, not saying a word. He didn't know WHAT he could say to help her feel better, vomiting in itself was bad enough, but to have it be from such a severe reaction was.... he didn't even know if there was a word to DESCRIBE how much this situation sucked.

Finally, after almost a minute, the last of the toxic fish had come out amidst the greenish sea of her stomachs contents and Derpy just sat there, panting in relief. Her head was throbbing and her nose was running, but at least her throat was opening up to its normal size and her breathing, although a little painful, was slowly going back to its normal rate.

Almost 5 minutes passed, Derpy still sitting there and Josh rubbing her back, before Derpy found the strength to speak again.

"...Why.... did you help me?"

Josh gave Derpy a puzzled look. "Excuse me?"

The pegasus wiped her mouth off with a few sheets of the nearby towel roll, wincing at the acrid taste still filling her tongue. "Why.. did you give me that medicine.... Why did you give up your chance to put him away...."

Josh paused for a moment. "I had to. If I didn't, you'd have suffocated from the severity of your reaction. You really didn't know you were allergic to fish???"

Derpy shook her head weakly, still looking into the colored water. "Mom never thought to get me tested.... She was...... she.... she was more concerned for my.... condition.. Didn't think the fates would so cruel......"

It was now Josh was beginning to put together the puzzle of Derpy Hooves in his head. He was starting to understand what was going on.....

"Your eyes?"

Derpy nodded with a hiccup. "Endoplasmic Strabismus Dystrophy. The muscles in my eyes.... They're deformed. Unless i'm 100% focused... I lose the vision in my right eye and the muscle dies."

"...That's what causes your mismatched gaze, isn't it?"

"Yeah.... My mom... she spent her entire life trying to cure my problem... trying to get me "beautiful".... Then..... she...."

Derpy gulped and shuddered and no more needed to be said.

"Derpy... I am so sorry."

"Of course.... this probably means you're gonna leave us now, right?"

Josh just paused, hiding back the faintest twitch of a grin. "Trotchek?"

"He was there when I was signing up... Thought it made him sound clever."

He sighed, biting slightly on his finger in thought. "I've got no excuse for my flip-flop... my wavering on what was right and wrong. All I can do now is.... try to move on forward. It's gonna be hard, but.... the alternative... abandoning my new allies... It's not feasible... not anymore. Not now that I've seen the underbelly. Can I promise I will never make a stupid mistake like that again.... I can't.... all I can do is try my hardest NOT to get like that again... to show the strength that was seen when I first came."

He paused again gently pulled Derpy to where he could see into her gaze. Her face, while still very much green like an overgrown pine and bearing the tell-tale marks of snot around the corners of her nasal passages, had somewhat calmed itself considerably. Her golden eyes no longer bore the sunken look of a dying man, her breathing steady and subdued. With the grace of a butterfly handler, he took another sheet of the tissue and held it to her nostrils.

"Blow. You still have the traces of congestion in your voice."

Derpy nodded and leaned in, blowing as hard as she could into the thin strip of linen in his hands and emptying the last of her dizziness out her nose. She felt much better, although she still felt embarrassed over how she'd lost.

"Derpy... I have one last question before I leave...."

"What??? You ARE leavi---"

"To go to the finals... although I guess I coulda worded it better."

At this, they both shared a polite titter before Josh spoke again.

"How did you get the copy of the footage from when I..."

Derpy knew he meant the encounter back when he and Champagne butted heads. "I... cashed in a favor from one of the security guards who knew my mom. She saved his life and this was his way of "settling up". He lost his job for me.... and for you."

Josh gave a nod of acknowledgement. "Derpy... listen to what I'm about to say... I need you to promise me something."

He took a deep breath before he spoke again. "If I EVER try a stunt like abandoning my little ponies again.... Beat some sense into me."

"Why not ask Gilda or Applejack?"

"Because I have the feeling if I hurt Dash again like that... they'd... go nuclear."

At this Derpy had to admit that the human had a point. While she was Dash's friend and cared about her deeply, her level of devotion was pathetic compared to Gilda and the Cowponys... Who she suspected would have the capacity to actually take an equine life to defend her honor.

"Ok.... I will...."

Josh smiled. "We should get back, I don't want the ponies to think I-----"

".....She went too far...."

This cut Josh's train of thought off in mid-stride. "Pardon?"

"Rarity..... Pinkie Pie told me what happened. She..."

"Derpy... Can we just not talk about that..... It was a bad moment for everyone involved."

The tone in his voice made it clear that, although he'd apologized immensely to her... he still felt a twinge of guilt for his overreaction.

"I'm sorry... I didn't mean to---"

"Nah.. I know you mean well. C'mon, let's go."

With a blush, Derpy started to leave the stall, staggering a little in a small bit of lingering nausea, but a call from the human stopped her.

"Derpy?"

Derpy paused. "Yeah?"

"...Maybe.... I should carry you until the dizziness wears off... Or if you need to purge again."

"....Are you saying that because you mean it... or do you just want an excuse to carry me?"

"Does it really matter? Does it matter the reason a person or pony shows a bit of affection?"

Derpy sighed and held her forehooves up, allowing the human to pick her up and hold her in his arms, cradling her like a mother would a child. The feeling as he brushed her mane, traced her snout, and rubbed along the base of her tailbone, her warmth heating him like a fire, it was like his heart was racing... and as he carried Derpy out of the stall, a single thought came to his mind.

"Eeyup... Definitely gonna volunteer at the Maternity Ward."
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The second she saw Josh and Derpy returning, Derpy still looking green even in Josh's arms, but otherwise far better than she had when the reaction had kicked in, Pinkie Pie leaned into her microphone, her voice bursting with energy. This was it, the moment of truth.....

"This is it, filles and gentlecolts! The dishes should be brought out momentarily by our very own Mayor Mare for this.... the Finals of the Equestria-Wide Royal Eaters Championship!"

She looked down at her sheet, listing all 9 dishes, and a very sick look came over her.

"Hoo boy... whoever gets through this one DESERVES to win..."

"You got this, Dash!", Fluttershy meekly yelled from the audience, her voice barely above the mewl of a kitten.

"Just one round left!", Spike shouted, "Is everyone on their hooves???"

The sound of thunderous stomping and applause filled the air and was like music to the baby dragons ears.

"Mayor Mare!", Meowth called out, "Bring out the-----"

"Mayor Mare.... Stand down!"

Hearing the cold and chilling voice bellow through the air, everypony knew who was speaking.... and the voice did NOT sound happy in the slightest...

The look on her face as she trotted to the front of the stage was that of disgust, more than Twilight could have ever imagined. Her eyes were emblazoned like fireballs had been set alight. Her mouth was pursed closed, as if struggling to hold back an outburst. Even her mane... even the glow of her beautiful, beautiful hair.... seemed to be coated in a red haze..... Every step she took was slow and deliberate and Twilight was surprised that she wasn't leaving smoldering hoofprints in the gravel below...

"Princess..... Celestia...", Twilight gasped, placing her hoof to her mouth in astonishment.

"To ask me.... to allow an innocent creature to be devoured.... To INSIST on it... Do you think this is FUNNY...."

The Princess turned towards Champange, her eyes ablaze with anger and her voice cold and hollow.

"Do you.... Simon?"

Champagne turned scarlet at hearing someone actually calling him by his real name. "It is a fine delicacy, you should be GRATEFUL your citizens are even LEARNING about it!!"

Celestia coldly leaned in, her snout brushing against Champagne's horn and he had the momentary temptation to drive it into her brain... but even he knew to do so would mean an instant and sudden death at the hands of her sister.

"I will be dead in the ground before you force my subjects to be cannibals!!!!!"

The Princess leaned up and addressed the crowd. "I've taken the liberty of preparing something else..... something not made from young blood.... Luna......... It's time."

Before anyone could say a word, the goddess of the moon came out, pushing a very large sterling silver cart, similar to what would be akin to being found inside the warehouse of a superstore. But it wasn't the cart itself that everypony was staring at, but rather.... what was on it.

"Sweet Merciful Celestia....", Rarity gasped.

"It can't be.... can it?", Fluttershy eeped.

"I thought it was just a myth!", Pinkie Pie yelled, as if completing the cacophony of gasps.

Sitting atop the cart, like two mountainous forms pillowing the bank of a snowfall, were the largest, most sensual, most delectable looking desserts any of them had ever beared witness to. Two enoromous ten-tiered cake delight, white cream, cherries, dollops of hot chocolate, strawberries, even smatterings of jam all coating the enormous treats like clothing on a very cold filly. The cakes reached higher than the head of Princess Luna, nearly even reaching the top of the banner above the stage.... and on the sides of each individual level.... the emblazoned picture of a large, yellow sun... possibly made from orange creme or marmalade, stared back at the crowd like faceless entities.

"This.....", Celestia said, her voice hollow and regal, "is the legendary Sun Cake. A recipe known only to me and my sister. Ten stories high, this delight is the only dessert in Equestria that could rival that of the beloved Sugarcube Corner, the Muffinporium, even Sgt. Batter's Lonely Tarts Cake Land. Each level filled with a different treat, from nutless marpizan to molten chocolate, to even a Reaper Pepper in the very top, the hottest and most succulent pepper in all of the land. Both Rainbow Dash and Champagne will come forward and dig into the treat from the cart, consuming every single morsel of this beautiful and wonderous delight."

"Willy Wonka would give his left nut for that...", Rollins gaped to himself silently.

"The first pony to devour every single bite of their treat, every berry, every chip, every single dollop.... will be declared the winner and be crowned the E.W.R.E.C. Grand Champion....."

It was at this point that Celestia turned back towards Champagne and strode towards him. But at the same time, poor Derpy was getting that terrible, horrible feeling again.

"J-Josh?", she quavered, "I think I'm about to throw up...."

Before Josh could say anything, a large garbage can was shoved towards them by one of the ponies on the side of the stage. As he looked closer, he could make out the form of Cheese Sandwich nodding to him.

"You son of a bitch...", he murmured with a grin, his tone implying his words were affectionately said, before turning to Derpy, looking at her starting to gag and retch, her cheeks beginning to bulge. Without wasting a second, he helped her get in position, her bulging face hovering over the opening in the can, the rancid stench of old food and muck filling her widened nostrils, and pressing in on her stomach.

"C'mon...", he coaxed, "Get it out."

Giving him a look of gratitude, even if her face looked at huge as a watermelon, she leaned in and began to cough up the contents of her gut. Retching and heaving, the thickness of the can's silver lining helping to mask the sounds of her illness, she barfed up the contents of her insides, coming out in a chunky yellow wave, splattering all over the interior of the receptacle. Josh was inwardly grateful for the trashbag inside and the thick plating acting as a silencer would on a gun and not drawing as much attention to the nauseous pegasus.

He couldn't help but inwardly thank his one year as a babysitter for allowing him to be desensitized, more or less, to the ugly sounds coming out of Derpy's mouth. He'd have done it longer, but.... then a trip to the park after saying goodbye to his best client had made it clear there were other plans meant for him.

Finally, the vomiting subsided and Derpy panted in relief, her face covered in sweat and snot again from her expulsion. Without a word, Josh reached into his jacket and took out a wad of tissues, snuck out from the bathroom, wiping the mess off her face.

"Feel better?", he asked, holding the tissues to her snout, "Blow."

Obediently, Derpy blew her nose hard, then looked up in pained, but noticeable relief. "Thank you..."

At the same time all that had been going on, a small discussion had been going on between Champagne and Celestia....

"I don't know how....", Celestia had remarked, "I don't know why.... But I know that in some way... in some demented and horrible way.... You were responsible for it...."

"Ramblings of a ruler whose forgotten her place.", Champagne snorted, "You can't prove I did SHIT."

"You... are worse than Discord... than Sombra..... You... are a special kind of evil.."

"Flattery will get you nowhere.", he smirked.

"Champagne.... I may be bound to be impartial to my subjects... to make sure this contest has a fair and just end..... But I promise... if I ever get evidence you led to the deaths of my friends.... and forced me to erase the memories of a young orphan.... I will do whatever I have to in order to make sure the rest of your life is spent in my dungeons, you growing older and weaker until you die an old, bitter, pony....."

Celestia then walked over to the other competitor... who had heard every single word, her mouth agape and struggling to put together even a single thought comprehensibly. Her eyes were wide as dinner plates, magenta baubles looking on in shock.

"Rainbow Dash..... I'm bound to be impartial... but....... on behalf of everypony here....."

The leader leaned down to where their snouts were brushing each other, their gaze evenly matched Amethyst to Magenta. The beating in Dash's heart could have put that to a marching band to shame. It was sinking in now that this was it..... no turning back.... and the voice that spoke back to her, normally one of sage and purity, was devoid of all pretenses of mirth and forgiveness. It was a cold and passionless tone, dripping with the gravity of the entire scenario.... and saying only 3 simple words in a breathless whisper that only reached the cyan-colored ears of Rainbow Robin Dash.

"Make...... things....... right."

Rainbow Dash nodded in firm resolution. "You got it, Princess Celestia!", she whispered back. With that, the Goddess of the Sun turned around and with the royal and majestic air she was used to, bellowed out her cry.

"LET THE FINALS COMMENCE!"

Giving each other a look of sheer contempt and a hatred seemingly indescribable, Rainbow Robin Dash and Simon Champagne Blake leapt up, their enormous bodies shaking and jiggling with the sounds and oomph of freshly made Jello, and raced over to the two gigantic after-dinner delights, digging in like convicts devouring their final meal. The taste that filled them as they took their first mouthfuls of the bottom level was that of heavenly delight, sweetness from cream and sourness from herbs and sea salt co-mingling with the dark chocolate dough, richer than leather, and the layer of boysenberry jam coating the bottom story of the delicacy. It was like biting into the clouds of paradise themselves and a nearly orgasmic sensation filled them both. The kicker of the whole spectacle was that, despite having their foundations already torn into, neither of the confectionaries looked to be in any danger of toppling, perhaps from a secret magic known only to Celestia herself.

"The Sun Cake...". Twilight marveled, "I read about this in Starswirl the Bearded's biography."

"Didn't know he was a cook.", Josh smirked, "Did it have a good recipe for Chicken Cordeonbleu too?"

"Hard-de-har-har.", the bookworm replied, her tone as flat as a tire after broken glass, "It's said the cake is normally only baked to herald the birth of a new princess. If it's for a master of the night, it's called The Light Of A Birth of the Moon the inverse is The Ray Of Sun And Creation. Over time, it was simplified to just "The Moon Pie" and "The Sun Cake".

"Yeah, I remember Moon Pies back in my world. I could go through BOXES."

"ANYWAYS, Starswirl was only present for one of it's rare creations, the confection normally requiring upwards of a week to bring together.... the one for Princess Celestia... He..... left the world before Luna was born."

"And?", Rarity prodded, "Did he try this delight?"

Twilight paused for a moment before she spoke, her voice soft with emotion and care. "He said it could have brought light out of darkness."

"So wait...", Applejack scratched her chin. The cowpony had taken a seat next to Rarity, insistent on "wanting to see how it all ends.". An ice pack was wrapped around her head, held in place by her stetson and helping to subdue the migraine that still lingered from her forceful expulsion. "Yer saying they only made this dessert for a birth? Then why is it here?"

Fluttershy took a deep breath and immediately, they knew she was about to show the hidden knowledge she kept squirreled away like food for the winter.

"It's likely that she worked a loophole around the birth of Pumpkin and Pound Cake, comparing it to a delayed celebration and using reasonable shadow of belief to give the possibility of one of them one day actually becoming a ruler like her, considering their prodigial skills in the air and spellcasting at their young age. Of course, knowing what she said about young blood and remembering what Gilda and Meowth said they heard, she could have used the birth of the ducks in the same vein, maybe even only telling the powers that be that a birth was happening and conveniently leaving out the fact that it wasn't someone from her bloodline at all."

Gilda, Rarity, Applejack, Josh, Derpy, and Twilight all stared at the yellow pegasus, blinking in sheer wordless choruses of amazement. None of them knew what to say, nor did they think there was anything TO say, and decided to turn back to the action.

By now, the bottom of the massive dessert had been devoured by both sides and leading them to start into the second tier, an inner coating of spiced butter and custard serving as a makeshift lubricant for the delight going down their throats.

"1 level down!", Meowth yelled, "9 to go!"

"Those are two lucky, LUCKY ponies.", Spike grumbled.

Pinkie Pie didn't say a word, the river of drool now streaming down her chin like a waterfall. She felt a mixture of hunger, ecstasy, excitement, and for the strangest reason.... a small bit of arousal. She'd always found cakes and pies and baking as a whole to be like a form of sensual pleasure for her, back when she was a filly and even now at the age of 14. But this... this concoction before her was like a Nirvana, a zenith.... a Zephyr of sweetmakers, bakers, epicures, artisans, and every single pony who'd ever put even a dollop of frosting onto baked dough. The urge to have a little private fun was strong, but she valued herself as knowing when it was time to party.. and when it was time to be stern.

"C'mon, Dash!!!", Spitfire cheered from the audience, a recovered Soarin' sitting next to her, "You got this!!!"

"AVENGE ME!", Soarin' shouted, "AVENGE MY DEATH!"

At this, both Dash and Champagne paused and shared a look of equal confusion as some of the nearby ponies whispered to each other.. Spitfire just hoofed her face in a small degree of mortification.

"You lost first round, Soarin', you didn't DIE." she murmured .

"Jeez...", Josh grumbled, "And I thought I had a flair for hyperbole.."

Within moments, the second tier was demolished and it was made very clear an outside force was having a hoof in keeping the cakes from submitting to the laws of physics, the horns of Luna and Celestia both awash in a shimmering silver glow. The finalists both dug into the third level of the treat, the filling of honey, syrup, and black currant giving this section of the delight a slight kick.

"GO! DASH! GO! DASH! GO! DASH!", Bulk Bicep cheered, not QUITE getting the jist of what the cheer was supposed to be. Fluttershy and Derpy both just laughed, as if sharing a joke between only them and them alone.

"He's got spunk, you gotta give him that!", Derpy remarked. She felt much better, the last of her nausea having finally subsided, and while she did feel a twinge of jealously at Dash getting to dive into the mountainous dessert, she still wanted to show her fellow weather worker that she had no hard feelings.

"Spunk... but MAYBE not all there in the brains.", Fluttershy murmured to herself as she looked on. There were times even she, in her everlasting heart and her perpetual congeniality, found Bulk Biceps mannerisms to, on the rarest of occasions, grow a bit on the annoying side, as if his mind was like that of a sieve. She'd been meaning to ask Twilight if she'd consider tutoring him, but she still found herself feeling guilty, even if his bruntness wasn't a fault caused by her.

Before long, the third tiers were no more and the two ponies were tucking into the fourth level, a hot marshmallow and caramel creme filling the inside and giving both of them a pair of sticky sugary mustaches. Rainbow Dash eagerly lapped her tongue all around her mouth with the speed of a motorboat, a trick she'd seen Pinkie Pie do on more than one occasion, and took in the stickiness that had been on her muzzle.

"C'MON!", Hammerhead roared from the audience, "PUT HIM IN HIS PLACE!! PUT HIM IN HIS PLACE!!!! YOU TOOK ENOUGH TIME OFF OF WORK, NOW MAKE IT ALL WORTH IT!!"

Firefly, Derpy, Josh, and all the other members of the Weather Patrol that were in the audience looked at their boss, a nod of deep agreement going along every single one of them. While they were ALL looking forward to Dash returning to the line of duty after the contest was over (and maybe a little of her new bulges diminished), they all knew Dash worked better when she focused her strength and her energy on one task at a time. As talented as the cyan flyer was.... a multitasker she was not.

Champagne roared and tore away the last of the fourth tier before taking on the fifth, the reaper pepper seeds and plants, coated with cilantro, heating up the cakes insides like the interior of an oven, Rainbow Dash fast on his tail....

Both of them so engorged in their meal and the audience enthralled in the action that no one even noticed one of the reapers sliding out of the cake, accidentally brushed off in the feeding frenzy, and falling off the cart before rolling underneath its bottom.....

"Gotta keep eating...", Dash thought to herself, even as she bit into a pepper and felt the heat coat her brain. By now, she felt like she was full of cement, starting to get packed in like a mule and feeling the lethargy and fullness trying to creep on her. She didn't know if it was just the size of the cake, the fact that each separate layer was packed with a different topping, or that even the frosting of the cake seemed to have a fiery twang to it.... but she could feel herself having to take a few deep breaths before continuing.

"Both are at the halfway mark!", Spike cheered, "This is getting intense!"

"I WANT THAT CAKE!", Pinkie Pie yelled, half laughing and half crying, "IT LOOKS SOOOOOOOOOOOOOO SO SO SOSOSOSOSOSOSOSO DELICIOUS!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Spike and Meowth just looked at her, a bemused grin on both of their faces.

"Ya ever thought about just asking her the recipe??", Meowth asked.

Pinkie Pie's expression soured. "Probably a secret and secrets are meant to be kept FOREVEERRRR!"

She drew out the last word, leaning into Meowth's face as if trying to emphasize the depth of her word. She was so close to her he could feel her breath on the front of his charm, a slightly manic expression on her face. Twilight watched the two, remembering how profoundly determined she had been for the Unicorn to keep the secrets of Spike, Rarity, and Fluttershy back when the yellow pegasus had done a small bit of modeling for her, even getting disappointed when she had, at the peak of her conseration, blurted out that Spike had a crush on Rarity to an empty room.

"She should consider maybe a job at a bank or the FBP... she'd be great with royal secrets.", she thought with a smirk as Champagne and Dash polished off the fifth section of their desserts and began on tier 6, the devils food flour, hot curry sauce, and custard center merging into one delicious and tangy combination... but by now they could all see Rainbow Dash starting to sag a bit... none as gleeful as her opponent.

"What's wrong, Dash? You're looking kind of worn out!", he sneered with a haughty laugh in the tone of a classic schoolyard bully.

The pegasus clenched her teeth and took in another mouthful of the cake, the dough and toppings mixing with the saliva acting as a makeshift lubricant. Every pony and individual could see her starting to slow down and the cheers only increased, giving her all the support they could.

"C'MON, DASHIE!", Vinyl cheered from her spot in the audience next to Octavia before giving the gray earth pony a jostle, "Octi, come on! Cheer her on!"

"This whole thing is so beyond demeaning and disgusting... I only came out because I was asked to perform by our majesty, Princess Celestia..."

Vinyl rolled her eyes behind her shades in exasperation. "One of these days, Octia, you've got to learn to R-E-L-A-X. It's like the old saying... "Don't take life too seriously or you'll never get out alive."

"Who says that? WHO?", Octavia sniffed, "Anyways, I just want this contest to end so this town can go back to normal!"

"You mean back to the night-enchanting spirits, the Elements of Chaos coming after us, the Parasprites, Flim and Flam.... yeah, we're already SO normal!"

"You know what I mean!"

As Octavia crossed her forehooves across her chest in indignation, Champagne finished off the sixth and got to work on devouring the seventh layer of the treat, the tastes of apple butter, mocha creme, and spiced herbs filling his greedy little mouth. But Dash, as she swallowed down her last mouthful of the devils food and custard, just placed her head in her hooves and groaned, much to the alarm of the onlookers.

"C'mon, Dash!", Josh coaxed her, "Only 4 tiers left!"

"I.... I am.... I am so full...", she groaned before letting out an enormous Equestria-shaking belch and making all the colts start snickering, "I... I have my limits, I'm not even 19 yet!"

Champagne saw the look of agony on her face and a sort of frenzy seemed to take over as he began wolfing down the last of the seventh and going into the eighth part of the mountainous sweet, pineapple, bits of smoked bacon, and vinegar co-mingling to give almost a cosmopolitan feeling to the delight.

"DON'T GIVE UP, DASH!" Spitfire and Soarin' yelled, "DON'T GIVE UP!"

She looked up wearily at the sound of the cheers, feeling herself growing more and more spent out. Endurance for physical challenges like the Sonic Rainboom and the Buccaneer Blaze weren't a dilemma for her, but that was because she had at least a chance, even in the air, to plan out her next manuver. She knew that outwardly, she seemed to just make up her moves on the fly, but the truth was that even SHE wasn't that alpha. She took the time to plan out the angles and coordinations before each and every flip to minimize the risk of nausea, burnout, or crash. That's why she'd thrown up after Trixie caught her off-guard, why she broke her wing in the freestyling, because she'd neglected that one rule... although, as everypony pointed out, the former wasn't her fault, her not having ANY chance to prep herself for being whirled like a top.

"I......... I don't WANT to give up!", she insisted, taking in her first mouthful of the seventh layer, but by now the taste of the flour, eggs and herbs just felt disgusting to her. She didn't think she'd be able to look at cake again for a long time after this and the knowledge that that would hurt Pinkie Pie just made her feel guilty.

It was then, after a pitiful swallow, that she turned and saw Champagne finishing up the ninth tier, the last of the banana mince and peppercorn going down his throat and going into the final level.... and her heart seemed to slink all the way down into her hindhooves.

"No..... No......", she whimpered as Champagne shoved the last part of the cake into his maw and swallowed before thrusting his forehooves into the air in victory.

"I HAVE DONE IT!!!", he bellowed to the sky like an emperor after a war, "I! AM! A GOD!!!!!!!!!!!"

But..... something seemed off.... there was no celebratory siren, no confetti, no announcement of victory.....

"Well?!", he huffed, "Go ahead and say it! I WON!"

None of the judges wanted to say it, none of them wanted to believe it..... They all felt like someone had told them the end was approaching. Their champion had lost... and now.... they were going to lose everything.

"No no no no no no no no no no no no no no no....", Spike kept repeating almost like a madness mantra.

"Mother of all ponies, send us to freedom...", Twilight gasped in horror as she looked at Rainbow Dash slumping in defeat over her last levels.

Champagne just gave a cold and cruel laugh, one akin to that of an executioner, as he turned towards the pegasus and took her face into his hoof, bunching her pudgy cheeks up. "You see? There is no happy ending. No white knight, no comeback, no hero swooping in..... This is the reality, Rainbow Dash. We all have our place here. Ponies like you are meant to serve.... and ponies like me..... we're meant to feed.... We're the strong ones, WE'RE the shakers...."

He let her go and, almost as if trying to taunt her, started taking big hooffuls of the cake and shoving them down into her mouth, all the while laughing and jeering at her, his tone one of sheer and sadistic glee. "You wanted to play with the big boys, you wanted to eat like me... well here you go!"

Tears welled and ran down her face as mouthful after mouthful of her dessert was shoved into her gullet by the victor. This was an alien feeling altogether for her.... the feeling of failure. It felt like she wanted the world beneath her to open up and swallow her whole, sealing her from her misery forever. By now, no pony was saying a word, all the cheers and applause... all was silent as a crypt.

"Eat!!! Eat!!!", he kept roaring, "Greedy arrogant ruffians say they want to eat...... Well eat up!!!!"

In that instant, it was like a switch had been flicked in Rainbow Dash's head.... all the memories of her horrible nightmare roaring back and flooding her like a wave of fire. She wanted to collapse, to bury away and hide just like back during Rarity's performance at the flight show. She could feel her belly threatening to burst at its seams just like before.... but this time she would have almost WELCOMED the icy hands of death to sweep her... and as the last level of her torn up dessert was being shoved down her gullet, the taste of molten chocolate scorching her insides like a flamethrower, all she could do was let silent and continuous tears run down like water in a brook.

It wasn't until Champange had released her to fall to the gravel that she was brought back to the realms of the waking world and as she opened her eyes, three things seemed to catch her attention...

Champagne walking over to Celestia to demand his prize....

The last few bites of her own cake resting on her platter....

And the stem of the fallen pepper poking out from underneath the cart's bottom tray...

Her eyes widened as 2 and 2 were quickly put together and, wordlessly, she got to her shaking hooves, a new look of determination and passion on her face, pulled herself up using the side of the cart as a railing... and began to slowly eat the last few remnants of her delight.

"Well!?", Champagne was insisting, "Face it! I WON!"

"Until that pressure plate is activated, this isn't over!", Luna insisted.

"You're just trying to hide behind your crowns, scared to face the fact that this time.... there IS no sunrise! There IS no happy ending! You've gotten a taste of the real world and you can't handle it just because of the bitter flavor! There's no Element of magic, no sacred song, no nothing. All there is now is a broken down pegasus, a bunch of mouth-breeding HORSES...."

He spat the word out as if it was a racial slur.

"And ME! Standing victorious above the patheneon of fallen bodies of the pathetics that you once had the audicity... the BRASHNESS to compare to an expert! Well maybe... MAYBE.... this will serve to wake you up from the dream.... THIS is reality... and there is only ONE path alight for ALL of us...... and in the end..... I... and I alone... WIN!"

"No....... I win."

Turning around, he saw Rainbow Dash glaring at him with a devilish smile..... and when he saw the objects in her hooves... he felt all words evade him. All the breath seemed to deflate out of him as if a balloon had been punctured, his eyes threatening to erupt from his sockets in sheer horror, his jawbone going slack as a rubber chicken.....

In one hoof was the last hoofful of cake.... and the other... was the pepper that had fallen... and all at once he realized....

"No... NO!!!!!!!!!"

Before he could make a move, Rainbow Dash had popped the last morsel into her mouth and, with a breathless swallow, felt the last of the confection disappear into her abdomen......

"You....... Lose.", she whispered as her plate lit up and a loud cheerful siren rang out, shoots of confetti spraying from the edges of the stage and showering the air with colorful paper and streamers as the whole of the audience got to their hooves and roared with applause.

"FILLIES AND GENTLECOLTS!!!!!!!!", Pinkie Pie screamed in delight, "WE HAVE A NEW CHAMPION! RAINBOW DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAASH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

The crowd erupted and a mad dash towards the new champion ensued. The first one to her side was her lover, taking her into his arms and planting a deep kiss onto her lips, the two of them locking their tongues to each other for over a minute. He woulda given her a bear hug, but he thought better of the situation and just settled for them embracing and ravishing. Scootaloo was next up, screaming with indecipherable glee as she leaped in the air for her victorious mentor.

"YOU DID IT! YOU DID IT! YOU DID IT!", she kept roaring, Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle by her side, "YOU WON!!!"

"Ya'll did it! Ya saved our town!", Applejack added pridefully, "We all thank ya!"

"You mean she saved it at least until the next chaotic occurs!", Spike added with a joking bit of snark and getting a wave of laughter.

"His arrogance led him down the road to ruin...", Twilight added, wrapping a hoof onto her shoulder, "And yours towards the path of light and glory!"

This only warranted a very odd look from the pegasus, her eyebrow raising in a confused expression. "Odd way of saying I'm awesome!", she grinned, her swagger back to its former glory. Her teeth may have been stained from all the various foods and drink, her breath may have been a mixture that could have peeled paint, and her body may have grown 5 times its normal size, but the young flyer felt great.

"Incredible!", Spitfire remarked as she trotted up towards the winner, "You've got the same level of cunning on the ground as you do in the air!"

Rainbow Dash couldn't help but squee at the remark from one of her idols. "Omigosh, omigosh, omigosh, omigosh! You really think that?!"

"I do.", Spitfire smiled, removing her goggles so she could look Dash square in the eye, "When you've recovered from all this, call me and I'll set up a tryout with you. We may be able to use your skills yet!"

The pegasus just squealed in delight as she was crowded by all her friends, her lover still with his hands onto her flabby shouldblades.

The whole time, Champagne just stood there, watching the spectacle. This was a new feeling to him, the feeling of defeat.... He'd never felt this sensation before..... and he hated it....

"This isn't right..... this isn't right.................. THIS ISN'T RIGHT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

His vision seemed to go red, all his senses breaking apart in a bloodlust. His breath came fast and rapid, like a diseased animal, his chest heaving in rage. With what sounded like a mix between a whinny and a scream, he leaned down and charged.... his horn in front of him....

It happened so fast that no one had a chance to react as the horn was plunged through Josh's abdomen, a gory spectacle of blood and bile spraying suddenly from his jaw. The horn was withdrawn, leaving a hole the size of a baseball in Josh's cavity and slightly revealing its contents to the world, only the teenagers hands acting as a cover and quickly staining his limbs in a black oily mixture. It happened so fast that he wasn't even able to get a word out and was only able to clench his stomach in sheer agony as he turned around towards his attacker the expression on his face silently reading almost "Are you fucking KIDDING me?!".

"NO!!! NO!!! I WON'T LOSE!!! I CAN'T LOSE!!!!!!!", Champagne roared, "I'M NOT GOING DOWN ALONE!!!!!!!!!! YOU'RE ALL COMING WITH ME!!!!!!!!!!"

Josh grunted and spat, still clutching himself but managing to stay on his own two feet.... almost like he was merely inconvenienced by having a hole now in his stomach. "You..... you lost......... Face it......... YOU......... can't touch us!!!!!!"

"That..... is where you are WRONG YOU FREAK!!!!!!!! I will NEVER stop! I will never REST until Ponyville is in RUINS....... YOU DARE TO DEFY ME, YOU DARE TO HUMILIATE ME!?!?!?!?"

"He's lost it...", Meowth just murmured in shock.

"He's gone off his fruit loops...", Granny Smith added.

"You...... ALL of you....... I WON'T REST UNTIL I'M ALPHA!!!!!!!!"

Staggering, Josh approached Champagne. "It's over........ you lose........ GO HOME."

"THE HELL I'M GOING!!!!", Champagne roared, reaching out for Josh's neck....

What happened next was something no pony, no being, not even a GOD could have forseen....

The second Champagne's hooves clasped the necklace around his jugular, a sudden flash boomed like a clap of thunder and sent both Josh and Champagne sprawling to the ground, flat out on their backs and spread-eagled like a pair of thrown-out peelings.

Josh was the first to get up, raising to a sitting position and clutching his head. He felt like a massive migraine was pounding on the back of his eyes and he retched, roaring a stream of bloody vomit along the gravel. When the red and gold had subsided, he looked over at the other figure... and he didn't know if it was relfex or a determination to show that he wasn't gonna sink down to the level anymore.... but Josh crawled over, swaying slightly, and placed his hands on Champagne's hoof.

"Dude.... dude you ok?!"

Champagne looked up at him..... and let out a piercing scream, scooting away violently and shaking.

"Elbert.... Elbert NO!!!"

"Elbert??", Fluttershy asked around, puzzled.

"Elbert....", Celestia realized, "That..... it can't be..."

"Elbert, get away!!! I.... I was there!!! How can you be here!?"

"Elbert????", Josh asked the pale-faced Champagne, "I'm not......."

"I... No, Elbert......", Champagne's voice seemed to come out in jabbers, akin to the rambling of a madman, "No..... Elbert stop!!!!"

Slowly, the ponies and Josh all began to back away as Champagne's screams continued.

"Elbert he made me..... I had to kill them.... I had to do it! You shouldn't have stood up to him!!! You MADE ME DO THIS!!! YOU MADE ME TAKE THEM AWAY!!!!!!!!"

The look in his eyes was one of sheer and unfiltered terror, like he wasn't even in the realm of the living anymore... but transported back to a nightmare.... one that had been hiding in his mind and finally having found it's mouth to claim back its vengeance.

"I... I HAD TO!!! I HAD TO!!!!! YOU.... YOU CAN'T MAKE ME SAY IT ANYMORE!!!!! YOU CAN'T MAKE ME TALK ANYMORE!!! I WON'T!!!!!!!!!!!"

It was then that Champagne stuck out his tongue.... raised his jaws to that of a snake going for its prey.... and with the velocity of a raptor, bit clean through the muscle, sending more than half of the appendage onto the gravel and splattering the ground with blood. All he could do was laugh as dark scarlet frothed out of his disfigured maw, his voice now similar to that of a cackling goose as he picked up the severed tongue and attempted to eat it... only being stopped by a pair of police ponies stepping forward and arresting his hooves....

The whole time all the ponies, all Spike, all Meowth, all ANY of them could do..... was look on at the once-proud unicorn, driven out of his mind by a long-buried secret, finally coming back to reveal itself to the world..... and revealing that despite all his bragging... all his cunning... all his skill... this was what Champagne's core was....

That... of a scared and cowardly equine... no better than a common thug

"In the end....", Gilda mused as she watched the spectacle, "You can hide from everypony... but you can't hide from yourself."
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Song List:
Crash Into Me by Dave Matthews Band from the album Crash
Forsaken by Seether from the album Holding Onto Strings Better Left to Fray
The Ballad of Cyan by MeowthRocket
From the Inside by Linkin Park from the album Meteora
Cheese Please by MeowthRocket
The Day The Whole World Went Away by Nine Inch Nails from the album The Fragile
Low Self Opinion by Henry Rollins from the album The End of Silence