Lyra slowly opened her eyes, her vision blurred from her slumber. She looked at the clock on the wall narrowing her eyes to clearly see what time it was.

“7:32?”

She was up early. She usually never woke up until nine, minimum. Lyra looked to her left to see Bon Bon cuddling her. Lyra smiled it was nice to wake up with her lover still beside her usually she left to open her store before Lyra was even conscious. The unicorn gently ran her hoof through the blue and pink mane. She planted a kiss on Bon Bon’s head and then another. Lyra was so in love with Bon Bon it was unreal, she longed to be with her every day, she longed to snuggle up next to the earth pony and just leave the world behind them.

And yet, Lyra never felt that she was enough for Bon Bon. The mint green pony sighed depressed. These thoughts constantly invaded her mind with parasitic ideas of inadequacy and worthlessness; all that Lyra was and all that she would ever be and, in her mind’s eye, it would never be enough for the pony lying peacefully beside her. Lyra had always had to deal with these thoughts coursing through her mind. They had started when she was a filly on her first day at school. She had gone into class and the teacher has asked her to tell the students all about herself. When she saw the whole class looking at her she froze up, and then the voices started.

At the start they were the just small niggling thoughts that she always had to put up with such as ‘what if they don’t like me’ or ‘what if they make fun of me’ but after a few seconds more the thoughts became more cruel, almost as if they were making fun of her. ‘I don’t blame them Lyra, who’d wanna be friends with you’ Lyra’s pulse began to race, she could feel her heart beating against her chest as if it were about to explode. ‘Look at you, can’t even say anything about yourself to the class! Know why?’ Lyra had started panting now. The teacher was looking at her worried and walked up to the frantic unicorn.

“Lyra dear, is everything okay?”

Lyra looked up at the teacher and then back to the students who were now whispering amongst themselves and looking confused.. ‘It’s because you’re nothing Lyra. Just a big…’
“I…”
‘…worthless…’
“…I…” A tear rolled down Lyra’s cheek.
‘…loser.'
Her mind went blank as she fainted in front of the class.

Bon Bon felt a hoof run through her mane softly. She smiled subconsciously. She felt so secure, so safe. Nothing in this existence could harm her while she had Lyra. Lyra had never been with anypony else before Bon Bon and so was inhibited and shy during the first month or so in their relationship. The earth pony had always found it cute when Lyra strived to do her best despite her inexperience. During their first fight as a couple, Bon Bon had gone to Derpy’s who reassured her that Lyra did care for her deeply and confided in her that Lyra had constantly sought advice from the grey pegasus to see if what she was doing was right. After they had made up Lyra had gotten a cupcake from Sugarcube Corner to ‘celebrate’ the milestone that was their first fight.

Of course Lyra’s sheltered romantic life had upsides; she had never known rejection or heartache. Bon Bon had had her heart broken, no, not broken, ripped apart before. Whilst growing up in Fillydelphia Bon Bon befriended a young colt at her school. He was new and it was her task to show him around. They quickly became friends and spent almost every waking hour with each other. Soon they fell in love with each other. As they grew older the colt had promised her his heart, his soul, his everything. They loved each other unconditionally and had planned to spend the rest of their lives together. They were young true, but with love you can never tell when it will strike. Some ponies’ love ignited when they are just foals while others waited many years before finding their partner, besides they were old enough. The two of them had spent hours sitting or lying together mapping out their life as one; a nice house, maybe a pet, foals (two fillies and a colt), the usual stuff betrothed couples plan.

But tragedy had struck two weeks into their engagement. One day her fiancé did not come home. She had waited all night for him to enter through the door and embrace her informing her that he had just had to cover a shift at the restaurant he worked in. A knock was heard on the front door but instead of her love standing at the door were two uneasy police officers. They informed her on his way home a criminal had attempted to rob him and in the ensuing struggle, her colt had been fatally stabbed. He had not survived the trip to the hospital. When she heard of what had happened the cream pony sank to the floor in uncontrollable sobs, the words her fiancé had whispered to her every morning before he left for work echoing through her mind.
“Goodbye, my love.”

When Lyra had woken up she found herself in a hospital. Her parents were already there and a young doctor came in. He asked her questions and kept her in for two days running tests and situations on her. All the while the voices remained. After the tests he called her parents in and informed them that Lyra had what was known as a ‘social anxiety disorder’, a fear of negative public attention and ridicule which had manifested itself as opposing ‘voices’ in her imagination. Lyra had not understood much of what he said but apparently whenever she was scared she would imagine these voices inside her head that would make fun of her and scare her further. The doctor had made her go to see a therapist for two weeks rather than allow her to go back to school. In this therapy she learned how to ignore the voices and how to calm down and take her mind off of whatever was troubling her.

When she went back to school Lyra was seated next to a lavender unicorn who almost immediately offered to be her friend. Her name was Twilight Sparkle and was effectively, Lyra’s first and only friend. They did everything together and were best friends for many years. Over the years the combined friendship and therapy Lyra underwent helped almost drive the voices away however, as they both got older, Twilight’s workload for the Princess grew and Lyra had taken up the lyre which meant a lot of her free time was dedicated to recitals and practicing her music. The amount of time they spent together became less and less.

When it was time for Lyra to move out of her parents’ house she decided that Ponyville would be a good place to be, not far away from Canterlot so that she therapy could continue should she ever need it, and it was a nice quiet environment. With the town being so small and the techniques she had learned from treatment she made friends quite easily particularly with her neighbour Berry Punch. With her musical talent Lyra played at many concerts and shows and her life seemed to have a sunny outlook about it. The negative thoughts never bothered her anymore and she seemed to be able to enjoy the world again.

She befriended an earth pony named Bon Bon whilst sitting on a bench in the park one day and the two quickly became best friends. Lyra had always thought there was something about Bon Bon that had drawn her to the earth pony but always found it difficult to explain. After a few months the two felt more than friendly affection for each other and eventually began to date. Unfortunately though, this was when the voices came back.

Bon Bon had taken her fiancé’s death very hard. She almost immediately moved from Fillydelphia, away from the constant reminders on every street. She chose Ponyville due to its incredibly low (almost nonexistent) crime rate.

The morning after Bon Bon had moved in she was woken by the mail mare delivering post. She was a grey pegasus with the most peculiar eyes that, even though weren’t looking in the same direction, shone with optimism and kindness. The second the mare gave her a letter addressed to her late love she broke down in tears. The pegasus instantly took her inside and told a passerby to tell her work that an emergency had come up and would need a replacement for her. Once this was sorted out she made Bon Bon tea and comforted her. Bon Bon was uneasy at telling a complete stranger about what had happened but there had been something about the pegasus’ eyes that convinced her to do so. The friendly mare consoled her and informed Bon Bon that she would stay with her for a few days telling her had no say in the matter.

Her neighbour took care of her for a couple of days before informing her that she had located a grief counsellor who could help her. Derpy went with her to every meeting while the therapist taught her how to deal with the emotions she was feeling; anger, guilt, depression etc. Eventually, Bon Bon had made enough progress for the final challenge, visiting the grave of her fiancé.

Derpy came with her to Fillydelphia and they stayed at Bon Bon’s parents’ house. The next day the two ponies went to the grave and Derpy left Bon Bon to speak with her lost love alone. She had walked up to the headstone and sat in front of it.

“Hey.” She had said after a few seconds of silence. “Sorry I, er, I haven’t come to visit. It’s been…well, it’s been a funny old month.” Bon Bon chuckled weakly as her eyes began to water. “I see Felicity’s been taking care of your stone. Maybe I should go and see her then again what would I say? Your mom and I never really did chat a lot.” Bon Bon smiled slightly at the nostalgia before tears began to run down her face. “You know I really do miss you. It’s so hard without you. I miss the way you used to make me breakfast in bed on Sundays.” More tears rolled down her face. “I miss the way you used to open the jars in the kitchen for me. And I miss the way you used to moan about how much of a dick you’re boss was.” Bon Bon started to cry uncontrollably.

“But most of all I miss how much you used to make me laugh…and feel loved…and…and how I felt that nothing could ever hurt me when you were around. And now you’re gone and everything hurts.” Derpy had come over and sat down with her putting her arm and wing around the sobbing pony. She was crying as well. “But I have to deal with that stuff on my own now and I have to move on ‘cause I know it’s what you would want. Luckily I have a friend to help me.” Bon Bon took Derpy’s hoof and smiled. “I will always remember you as the pony who, for one shining moment, made me feel special. I’ll always love you. Goodbye.”

They got up, Derpy holding in her tears as she comforted Bon Bon, and they left the graveyard.

Lyra gazed at Bon Bon affectionately. She had never thought of herself as the romantic type, never believing in those “love at first sight” sappy romance novels Bon Bon often read, but it seemed that the earth pony brought out the best in her. On their one month anniversary Lyra had planned a romantic night together; candlelit dinner, flowers, she had even written a song for her which she had planned to play to her during their meal had the meal not been burnt to a crisp by setting the oven temperature too high forcing them to go and get a ‘romantic’ take-out meal. It was that night Lyra had told Bon Bon she loved her.

It was when they had walked back to Lyra’s house and on the doorstep she felt the words unconsciously drop out of her mouth. She remembered the way Bon Bon looked back at her. She remembered the feeling of dread as the seconds passed whilst the cream pony said nothing. She remembered the unwanted thoughts screaming around her mind of how Bon Bon didn’t love her back and how she had ruined her chances. Then Bon Bon kissed her. The same passionate kiss she always gave Lyra and yet it was entirely different. Bon Bon broke away from her lover with tears welling in her eyes.

“I-I love you too, Lyra.”

That night had been the happiest in her entire life. For the first time in months, the dark thoughts receded at this very statement. For the first time in months she felt joy and happiness without the ever-lurking presence of sorrow and insignificance. It was that night that they made love together for the first time. Lyra had never made love to another pony before and was terrified out of her mind of how she would fare. Bon Bon had experience and expectations, Lyra had nothing apart from snippets of advice from other ponies which had conveniently vacated from her memory. On the bed Lyra felt the flood of emotion from that night come slinking back to her, her heart beat rising as she remembered. The fear of disappointing her lover, the empty hollow of worthlessness in her stomach, the anger of every failure she had encountered in her life.

And then Lyra looked at Bon Bon’s eyes, her beautiful cyan eyes, and forgot her troubles. She forgot the racing thoughts, the negativity, hell she forgot the whole damn world around her. It was just her and Bon Bon. Renewed confidence in Lyra made her take Bon Bon to the bed. The experience could have lasted minutes or hours but to Lyra it felt like a lifetime. Literally, nothing between them as their bodies and souls connected becoming one. The event was unlike anything Lyra had ever encountered and it closed her off from the whole of reality, only one pony mattered and she shouted her name for the whole world to hear, frankly she didn’t care if it did. Afterwards they held each other, embracing their bodies and their love. She was so happy, yet so very sad. It tore her heart like paper and the pain built up inside her like a great weight had been placed upon her chest. It had been too much for Lyra to bear and she broke down in silent sobs in Bon Bon’s arms.

“Lyra? What’s wrong?”

The unicorn gazed at her with so much love and affection that it hurt. She cried harder. Bon Bon shushed her and held her. She wept for what felt like hours and still the pain did not lift. Lyra turned to her marefriend and whispered, her voice filled with fear.

“I’ll never be good enough for you.”

Bon Bon’s grief did alleviate immediately after the test of visiting the graveyard but it didn't disappear entirely. It had been foolish and naïve of her to even think that was possible. But it had helped a bit, the sense of closure had been there. Derpy quickly became her best friend and was always offering help to Bon Bon should she ever need it. Bon Bon smiled to herself. Derpy was one of the kindest ponies she knew, hell she rivalled Fluttershy who was the actual Element of Kindness! She really tried to repay her for all the things she had done but Derpy would never accept any favours or gifts unless they were forced upon her. It was also sort of because of her that Bon Bon had met Lyra.

Bon Bon had been waiting for Derpy to get off work when she had sat on her usual bench. There had been a mint green unicorn sitting next to her and for some unknown reason Bon Bon could not take her eyes off of her. There was something about the unicorn, at first she had thought it was the strange manner in which she was sitting but there was more to it than that. The unicorn was striking, she almost glowed. Bon Bon felt a spark reignite inside her, a spark she was sure would not fire again. She introduced herself to the unicorn whose name was Lyra. They conversation grew and soon they were both laughing with each other like old friends. They arranged to meet another time as Derpy arrived to take Bon Bon to lunch.

Over the next few months Lyra and Bon Bon had become good friends and the ponies around them could see they cared very deeply for each other. When Lyra had asked Bon Bon if she wanted to go out with her she had said yes but only because she couldn’t bear to see the look of rejection the unicorn’s, adorable face. That night she had knocked on Derpy’s door at one in the morning crying about how she would break Lyra’s heart if she told her that she hadn’t even entertained the idea of being with a mare before.

“What do I do, Derpy?” She sobbed into the dishevelled pegasus’ shoulder. “I can’t hurt her like that.”

“Why not?” Derpy asked.

“Because she’d be heartbroken and I love her too much to…” Bon Bon stopped as she realised what she had just said. Derpy smiled at her.

“Bonnie, we can all see how you look at her.” Bon Bon frowned at her, sniffling. “And before you ask yes, it really is that obvious. You and I know this isn’t about loving a mare.” Bon Bon watched as Derpy looked into her eyes with her own, the big golden orbs only slightly uneven as she focused on her.

“It’s the thought of loving somepony else after your fiancé.” Bon Bon’s lip trembled as fresh tears squeezed out of her eyes. “But don’t you see? Your fiancé would want you to move on. Do you think we would want you to stay alone for the rest of your life?” The cream pony shook her head clumsily. “You just told me you love Lyra and I can’t think of a better reason for you two to be together.”

Lyra sobbed heavily into Bon Bon’s mane. The voices were yelling at her, throwing insults and mocking her for opening up to somepony. She had told Bon Bon everything; all her thoughts and worries, everything the voices shouted at her, every insecure little detail. She had blown it. Bon Bon wouldn’t want to be around a freak like her. Probably thought she was nuts or something. Why, oh why had she done that? She felt like such an idiot. Lyra felt Bon Bon’s hoof tuck under her chin and lift her head so that she was face to face with her. Her eyes were calm and soothing and Lyra began to relax a bit. Once she had stopped crying Bon Bon spoke.

“Lyra, hon.” Lyra smiled slightly, she liked it when she called her that. “You are good enough for me. You make me a better pony, you help me, you support me, you make me laugh, you make me feel safe and…” Bon Bon paused and took a deep breath, readying herself for what she was about to say. “…you make me feel special. There’s something I haven’t told you and you do need to know. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner but I…well, it’s hard to explain. When I was a filly at school there was this colt…”

And Bon Bon told her, she told Lyra everything about her only other relationship. Lyra’s amber eyes widened and leaked tears at her tale, amazed at how calm and steady the earth pony could stay whilst talking about it. Once she had finished Lyra didn’t know what to say.

“I…I-I had no idea, Bonnie. I’m so, so sorry.” Bon Bon smiled.

“It’s okay, hon, it’s in the past and what’s done is done but you’re missing the point.” Lyra frowned slightly, trying to recall what possible moral could be taking out of such a heartbreaking story. Bon Bon watched her and chuckled. “Lyra, for a long, long time I thought I could never love again. I thought that no one could mend that gaping hole in my very being but then I met you. You were a friend to me for a long time and then we became more than that. And what I feel just now is stronger than anything I have ever, ever felt in my entire life.” Bon Bon took Lyra’s hooves in her own. “Lyra, you complete me.”

Lyra opened her eyes again. Tears of happiness were brimming at the bottom of her eyes. She looked back down at the cream pony cuddling up to her and smiled as the tears spilled onto her cheek. She sniffed causing the earth pony to lift her head and look at her.

“Lyra? What’s wrong, honey?” Bon Bon asked concerned. Whenever this happened she knew that it had been something to do with her inner turmoil. Lyra shook her head.

“It’s nothing, Bonnie. I’m sorry I’m just being silly crying like this.” Bon Bon looked at the unicorn her heart breaking slightly.

“Oh come here, its okay.” She lifted herself up and hugged Lyra. Lyra fought back the tears. Why did she always have to cry, why did she have to be so emotional all the damn time. Bon Bon stroked her mane shushing her and after a minute Lyra calmed down again. She looked at Bon Bon, smiling.

“Thanks, Bonnie. Sorry.” Bon Bon took her hoof and held it to her chest.

“You never need to apologise Lyra. Not to me and not to anyone.” Lyra nodded. Bon Bon looked at the clock which read ‘8:10’. “Well I better get ready to open the store.” Bon Bon got up off the bed and walked to the door before turning around to face Lyra. “Oh, and happy Hearth’s Warming Eve hon.” She smiled and walked towards the bathroom to have her shower. Lyra facehoofed. Of course it was Hearth’s Warming Eve, how could she had forgotten. Lyra got up from the bed and slowly walked out of the room and downstairs.

Upon entering the kitchen the green unicorn had an idea. She could make breakfast for Bon Bon so that she’ll have something to eat before she goes to work; a proper breakfast, none of those crappy cereal bars that had negative calories and no taste. She had just taken two slices of wheat toast from the cupboard when she noticed a rectangular-shaped box standing up against the back of the shelf. Lyra frowned taking it and began to take off the lid, she hadn’t seen it before. Suddenly Lyra froze, her heart leapt in fear. It couldn’t be, no it can’t be what she thought it was. Inside the box was a diamond necklace no, not just a diamond necklace, an engagement diamond necklace. Lyra continued to stare at it in shock.

“No,” She eventually whispered. “No, no, no, no, no, no!” Lyra put the box back in the cupboard and slammed it shut spreading her back and fore legs across the closed door and she began feel an all-too-familiar presence slither into her subconscious. She had to get out of here. She ran out the kitchen, through the living room and to the door, fumbling for the key in the bowl next to it.

“Bon Bon, I’m…erm…I’m just going out for a bit.” Lyra yelled to the cream pony in the shower before unlocking the door and darting through it faster then Rainbow Dash ever could.

In the shower Bon Bon heard a muffled shouting from downstairs before hearing the door slam violently.

“What did you say, Lyra?” Bon Bon called. After a couple of seconds of silence, she shrugged and continued to wash her fur.