His head was throbbing. An empty bottle, his last as it seems, of wine lay next him in his bed. The black sheets were sprawled about. The man kept his eyes closed and tried to resume sleeping, there was some distant static-like sound that just wouldn't stop. He called out: "Shut the f*** up!" to the noise and buried his head in his red pillow. He groaned as the noise continued, then he opened his eyes. Sun light pierced his iris and he moaned out of pain from the bright after noon sun.

Now surrendering to his conscious state he sat up and rubbed his eyes. The television in his bed room was on, it was on some ridiculous channel (Some where in the 8,000s) where it was all static. He reached out sluggishly searching for the remote. He finally found it on his left end table, he aimed it to his flat screen and fired the power-off signal. Now conscious and happy to have the noise silenced, he rose from bed and sluggishly lumbered out of his bed room. He went down the hall, his feet cold on the freezing wood floor. His small house was nearly 20 degrees in the winter. It didn't help his air conditioning was turned off.

He turned it on as he passed it and photos of his family and friends. He spotted one of himself and Debbie, his oldest friend. He was smiling with his arm around her at some fair when they were teens. His left arm held the camera, meanwhile Debbie had her left hand in his hair. He had his right on her right shoulder; they were both smiling broadly. He wanted to just go back to then, and he drifted off to his remembrance when a song distracted him. A Beatles song began playing through his cell phone out on his kitchen counter next to his sink. He lumbered down the hall, turned right into his dining room, then when past that into his kitchen. His phone was still ringing, he saw the familiar face of Debbie. Quickly answering the phone with the press of an on screen green button.

"Hey Debbie." He said bringing it to his ear.

"We need to talk about last night....." She said sounding guilty.

"W-what?" He said nearly vomiting.

"Ned......I know we were both drunk but surely you remember..........."

"Did you call me 'Shirrly'?" Ned asked sluggishly trying not to vomit.

"No you, twat!" Debbie scolded angrily her English accent coming out intensivly. She took a deep breath. "I-I'm sorry........just......let me come over. Okay?"

"Fine, fine........when?" Ned asked now tasting and feeling the burning nastiness of vomit at the base of his throat.

"I'll be over in five." She said hanging up.

Ned looked into his empty sink, frowned, then gulped down a new wave of throat burning. "Oh fu-" he never finished that sentence and threw up into the clean sink. He started running the hot water and watched the chunks of cheese burger, fries, and a soda from last night go down the drain. He reached above the faucet and flipped the garbage disposal. He heard the chunks of nearly digested food be torn to shreds. After a few minutes of vomiting he finally decided he was empty and drank the hot water as it shot from the faucet. Groaning angrily he stayed slumped over the sink and closed his eyes.

Awakening to find the brunette, tall Debbie standing over him. He was still slumped over the sink. His mouth tasted like vomit and dried spit. "Oh.....hi" he said. She had her hair straighten and nearly level with her shoulder blades. She wore a dark purple coat, blue t-shirt, and jeans. Ned took notice of her shoes, she wore black high heeled boots that went up to her ankles. "Oh cool shoes."

"Last night I drove you home, even tucked you in, and you kept drinking?" She asked.

"Oh yeah..." Ned said. "That may have been a bad, bad decision."

Debbie folded her arms across her chest. Covering the slight bulge her breasts made in her jacket.

"The view is gone." Ned joked as he tried to stand without the help of the sink. He failed almost instantly, and fell backwards against the stove. Debbie sighed. "Very funny, do you need help?"

"Sure." Ned said as she helped him from the sink to the his sofa. He laid his head back and excepted the pain of his throbbing his head.

"Now. Let's review last night."

"Oak-e-dow-kee!" Ned snapped up from his near sleep.

"Now. You and I went out drinking at about 7 or so." Debbie began.

It came back to Ned. "Oh yeah..."

"An hour or two later we're drunk off our asses and I invited you back to my place....and you can figure out what happened. Well........you and I need to talk about this." She said nervously, as she sat down next to him. Her hand went straight to his right knee.

"I'm hung over and just want to go to sleep." Ned said.

"Well you can't sleep here." Debbie said.

"Why the hell not? It's my house." Ned said in a groan.

"It's the 30th of March. The bank owns it now, remember?" Debbie said snapping her fingers near his face. "Come on, get up we have to gather some of your things." She stared at him. "Fine. I'll gather your things. Just go get in my car. And turn on that fire.....god it's freezing in here!" She said cringing at the cold.

The fire place beneath the TV was technically fake, gas fueled and electrically lit it was fire, just not with fire wood or the near of matches. Ned stood and stumbled his way to the switch right beneath the wall mounted TV, turning the dial to 30 for 30 minutes of heat. As he began to walk away he tripped on himself and took some photos and envelopes from the mantle down with him. Landing hard on his back with an envelope clutched between his teeth. He spit it out and picked it up. It was old, at least a few years for the amount of dust. He opened it and saw a letter he had written at the end of college, oddly......for Debbie. It was worded so.....impeccably, he didn't see any mistakes or even oddly repeated words. He was known for the occasional mistake when writing and not typing, unless he was writing for a reason held close to his heart. He half-asleep-quarter-drunk-quarter-awake brain took a minute to process the letter's content. It was a love letter, confessing every gooey, sappy, or just plain affectionate emotion he'd felt for her since high school. Then he heard her voice.

"Are you alright? I heard something fall!" She called from his bed room.

He paniced and tossed the letter in the fire, then gathered the rest of the miscellaneous papers and photos and called back: "Yes! I'm okay. Just tripped and knocked some things down!" He more-or-less said truthfully. It wasn't a total lie, he did trip. The letter and it's romantic words were burnt too a crisp just a meter away. Ned saw that in his rush to throw it he had ripped off the "Dear Debbie Franks" piece. He got up and simply hid that behind a picture on the mantle.

____________________

Far from Ned's, Debbie's, or the current US government zombies...er.....politicians, minds there was a land called Equestria. In this land there existed a kingdom ruled by the Princesses of The Sun, Moon, and Love. In this kingdom ruled by three Princesses The Sun, Moon, and Love, there was a town called Ponyvile. In this town in the kingdom, in Equestria, there exists a library. In this library in the town of Ponyvile in the Kingdom ruled by three Princesses, in Equestria, there was a librarian named Twilight Sparkle. Next to Twilight Sparkle there was a baby dragon who existed in the library, in Ponyvile, ruled by the kingdom with three Princesses, in Equestria. This dragon was Spike and he was having trouble keeping his breakfast from burst out the front door and back hatch.

"How long is gonna take to find a spell to help my stomach, Twilight?" He asked clutching his angry stomach.

Twilight Sparkle used her horn to magically levitate books and papers, scanning each one for the very spell Spike begged for. "Just hold on, Spike. I'll find one, be patient."

"H-hurry up, Twi......I'm gonna....gonna........gonn-ARRRRRRRRRRRRHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" He shouted vomiting up a letter along with gem powder and stomach acid onto the wood floor.

"Ewwwww! SPIKE!" She scolded a book just opening before her. "Oh and here's a spell that would have prevented it."

"I'm....I'm gonna go lay down." Spike said satisfied that he wasn't going to vomit again.

"What the......" Twilight said looking at the mess and spotting the letter immediately. "A letter from the princess? Covered in vomit....gross!" She said as she shook the letter making sure there was no stomach acid or gem dust on it.

She carefully read the letter over once, hovering it at a safe distance from her eyes. "Oh my...." she said blushing as she finished reading. She then saw:

With love

-Ned.

...at the bottom of the damp paper.

"Whoever this Ned is I need to ask the Princess to help me find him! If he had to send a love letter through Spike he might not live near here." She said dropping the letter onto her desk and grabbing a fresh quill and paper.