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Convergence Series: Journeys

by TheGreatEater

Chapter 12: Chapter 11: Celestia: Fears pt.1, Failiure

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As they all walked in Celestia noticed that the mist around them was growing thicker and thicker until she couldn’t even see her hoof in front of her face. All around her was an oppressive silence that ate all the sound around her. She was slightly worried since mist and fog weren’t fears of hers. But still she continued onwards, eventually the fog cleared and her jaw dropped at the sight before her.




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She remembered this, it was the last time she saw her parents. It was strange she had started to forget what they looked like, and now they were standing right before her. Being older and more world weary she saw their faces as they told her they needed to do an important mission that would make her and her sister safe. It was the look she had when she was faced with a decision that she hated to make. The same look she had when she had to banish her sister to the moon.
She didn’t know why she forgot that look on their faces, but there it was clear as day.




Of course with hindsight, she knew they weren’t coming back. That her and the little foal, Luna, now nuzzling herself closer to her sister as she fell asleep would never again see their parents again. She felt tears fall down her face as the old wounds were reopened. Apart of herself was heart broken to see this memory, but apart of her wanted it to last forever. That she would at least have something of them to remember them by.




She walked up to her sister, looking adoringly at the foal she was. Suddenly Luna woke up and looked at her, her body shifting and contorting into the form of Nightmare Moon. “Why did you fail us sister? Why didn’t you protect me?”




“Nightmare Moon you aren’t my sister! You took her from me!” Celestia yelled at the creature she loathed more than anything. The monster who stole her sister from her.




“Not your sister? Why don’t you see yourself.” Nightmare moon replied coldly, the dual overlaying voice of hers echoing around her.




A fog wrapped around Celestia and she was shown another memory a few years later. She saw her sister in a moon lit night. The look of pure joy as she gained her Cutie Mark, she then was surrounded by a black mist that when it cleared was a full grown Alicorn, with teal dragon eyes. Her wings so black that they looked as if they were made of the very night itself rather than feathers. Those cold eyes looked upon her Celestia and in a voice that sounded like two pony’s speaking simultaneously asked, “Sister what is wrong? Why do you look so frightened?”




“What did you do to my sister you monster!?” an adolescent Celestia yelled at Luna.




“But sister, We are your sister?”




“No your not!” Celestia yelled as she bravely stood on her hind hooves and slammed at the altered Luna with all her might. Before running away. Not seeing the Alicorn still on the ground cry herself to sleep. With no one to comfort her.




The older Celestia seeing this as an outsider was shocked. “What did I do?”




“You lied to your parents is what you’ve done. You lied to me! You said you would always protect me, but you call me the monster. It was your negligence, your betrayal that caused me to turn into Nightmare Moon. If you were there for me everything that has happened since wouldn’t have happened. It’s all your fault.”




Celestia saw the ground open beneath her as her world crumbled to pieces. She fell and fell into a darkness that ate away at everything until nothing was left. As she fell she wept to a Luna that couldn’t hear her. “I’m so sorry Lulu, I’m so sorry that I failed you.”





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Celestia awoke to the room of her royal chambers. Looking at the mirror she saw bags under her eyes that she hadn’t seen since she had first started raising and lowering the moon for a thousand years. With a serious case of bed hair she laughed at the strange dream she had. She’d have to apologize to Luna and beg her forgiveness later.




As she walked out she saw a Gaurd rush to her, for some reason this felt more familiar than it should have, “Princess, Nightmare Moon has demanded the release of General “Heart Breaker” Blood, or she will kill the captives. What do you want to do?”




“Oh no! This isn’t real!”




“But Princess I’m afraid it is. What do you want to do?”




“No you see this is a memory, a bad dream, nothing more. I don’t want to live through this again!”




“Sorry but as I said this is real, it isn’t a dream.”




She remembered this day, it was a day when she learned that Nightmare Moon was beyond redemption and disparate measures had to be taken. It was the day Nightmare Moon took the lives of innocent ponies. She didn’t give her, her general since she turned him to stone and through him in the garden as a reminder to others what would happen to those who would be war criminals.




She couldn’t release him for what he was known to do, but she thought it was just a bluff. Stepping out of the castle she saw Nightmare Moon before her, and knowing what was coming felt the armor that she wore around her heart crack. First her parents, then Luna, now this. She had spent the better part of a millennium hardening herself to the things she had to go through. But with the wounds reopening, she fought to keep strong.




“Sister, I already know what you are going to do. You already know my answer. Be done with this insanity.”




Nightmare Moon grinned and all the sudden ponies suspended by black tendrils dotted the sky. Celestia watched outside her body as she tried to save them, only for the tendrils to tear them to shreds. Flesh and blood raining down from the sky like a macabre rain onto Celestia and her castle. But unlike what really happened when it only lasted for a few seconds, this kept falling and falling. As it fell she saw old faces. Faces from the war, faces she wept over as she burried them into the ground, faces that she had tried to forget looking up at her.




“You failed us Princess, you allowed Nightmare Moon to kill us and it’s all your fault.”




“No! No it’s not I made sure your families were taken care of after the war, and I was their for your funerals. There was nothing I could do to save you all.”




“You failed us Princess, you said that we would win, that Nightmare Moon would see the error of her ways. You promised us that we would be safe. We died because of you!”




“Listen to them sister, it was your hesitance that led to their death. All the dead of that war are raining upon the ground because their blood stains your rulership. You were never meant to rule like I was. My eternal night will last forever.”




“No!” Celestia screamed in defiance to what she was seeing. Suddenly the fog came again and showed her memory after memory of each of those faces. She saw them as they grew up, she saw their heart ache in the civil war and told them everything would be alright after Luna was returned to her. She then saw each of their deaths, their pain and horror etched into the very flesh of her soul. Her very psyche stained with the blood of those she couldn’t save.




As each witness death opened up her mental wounds and broke at more of her armor. All Celestia could do was saying the word no repeatedly as she kept denying what was playing before her. All the while her mane started to dull into a light pink as it slowly deflated her spirit slowly starting to crumble. As she again was sucked into the dark fog. It was at this time she was given a small reprieve.




“I don’t like this. I know these are my fears and worst memories. But I thought I was stronger than this, I thought I was over the pain of their deaths. It’s been a thousand years,” Sighing into the void she took a deep breath and was determined that this time around she wasn’t going to let herself fall again. “Well I’m ready when you are, you damned fog.”




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She sat reading Twilight’s letter to her when she found out about Nightmare Moon, and her return. She felt bad about not telling her about her sister, but after having been alone for all those years with lovers here and there that only withered away so fast. It seemed that all she did was blink and they were dead leaving her all alone again.




She had learned to distance herself, but she always waited for her sister, for this moment. And she was afraid, more afraid of this moment that she was of anything else. Or so she let herself believe.

Next Chapter: Chapter 12: Celestia: Fears pt. 2, Breaking Point Estimated time remaining: 3 Hours, 48 Minutes
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