Now this was a new level of strange, when I had been standing on the edge of that building I had imagined unspeakable horrors of pain and suffering that I would suffer for the rest of eternity. Apparently I must have missed the memo; because right now I was having what one would call a ‘bad trip’. Sitting there under the tree, I stared at the terrified group of ponies; they looked just like they did in the show. Fluttershy was hiding behind applejack along with the CMCs, I got a glare from Dash, a curious look from Twilight, AJ and Rarity, while Pinkie was well; being Pinkie. ‘God I hope this world only contains canon material or this could get….weird’ echoed through my head thinking upon the countless gruesome FanFics. That thought made me think of all the Fan-Fics I had read while still among the living, many of which covered situations just like this one. However they always seemed to end in… a less then desirable way. Without a clue and just as startled as they seemed, I tried to look friendly, standing up and smiling painfully.

“What is it Twi’?” AJ pondered aloud.

“I’m not sure, but it seems to be some kind of ape.” Twilight observed.

“Maybe it escaped from a circus, because that would be so cool, then we could throw a party, and show it off to everypony!” Chimed Pinkie hopefully.

What had been somewhat of a smile, had slowly morphed into a scowl. To be honest being called ‘it’ and ‘ape’ was not something that I appreciated. “Stop calling me ‘it’. I’m not an ‘it’ I’m a him.” Not surprisingly I was greeted with shocked faces.

“It can talk?”

“I just said I’m not an ‘it’ Rainbow Da…..” covering my mouth, albeit too late, the ponies gasped once again. ‘Good job Louis you already managed to creep them out, no wonder you had no friends’.

“How did you know my name?” Dash asked between a mix of curiosity and anger, with a twinge of fear. Pondering, I got an excellent idea.

“I was simply referring to the color of your err… mane.” I replied. The unbelieving looks I got were not a comforting sign. “So how bout that weather?” I physically cringed at my lack of social skills.

“No really how did you know her name.” Twilight pressured, backed up by her friends.

“Hehehehe, you wouldn’t believe me Twilight even if I told you.” She gasped. “Think carefully before asking again, you might not like truth.” Smiling again, I decided to have a little bit of fun, after all what’s the point of not taking risks, when you’re dead. A look of realization crossed her face, before glaring at me.

“How did you escape Discord!?!” She yelled at me, her friends soon started glaring again, as if they could set me alight just by their hatred of me. Sighing, I realized this was going to be a long day. Now how would I lie my way out of this?

“Celestia!!!!” I yelled pointing, they all turned to look what I had pointed at, suppressing my urge to burst out laughing, I took off towards where I assumed Ponyville laid. Funny how I forgot about Rainbow Dash being able to break the sound barrier, although I soon remembered especially after I was knocked of my feet and my head crashed into a tree. Funnily enough I experienced something I suitably cartoonish as I stars circle my vision. As I slowly slipped into unconsciousness I could just make out some voices…

“You didn’t have to tackle it! Now we are going to have to wait for it to wake up.”

“Well excuse me, I didn’t know I was being graded on how I knocked down mon……..”

The voice started fading, then silence, a good thing too because those ponies were starting to annoy, when I woke up I would explain again why its rude to call a person an ‘it’……

“Wake Up.” I heard through the shroud of sleep, I dully felt a nudging. Sighing inwardly I muttered something along the lines of “Two more minutes.” or something. Unfortunately for me the voice apparently was rather annoyed, and I felt myself falling. Waking up just in time to see the fast approaching wooden floor, I hit it like a sack of potatoes. Trying to rub my face, I noticed my hands were bound in what seemed to be some kind of flimsy string. Sitting up I looked at the face behind the voice, although I was still groggy I remembered the events of earlier. Twilight Sparkle continued staring down at me sternly. She turned to talk to another pony, Rainbow Dash.

“It’s awake, now could you please apologize to it Dash.”

“Why should I? It tricked us and tried to escape!”

“Even so you didn’t need to knock it out.”

“WOULD YOU TWO SHUT UP!” I yelled annoyed at their pointless bickering, they both jumped startled at my outburst “For whatever god you believe in shut the fuck up, I’m still not sure what the hell happened to me but, your incessant arguing is not helping my headache. Also for the last time Twilight, I’m not an ‘it’.” Although it wasn’t helpful cussing right now, I frankly didn’t care. Mainly because my head was throbbing from being slammed into a tree, looking around again I recognized the inside of Ponyville’s library, just like the show, I once watched.

“How dare you talk to me like that I’m Celestia’s pro…….”

“I really don’t give a fuck, Twilight, just shut up, and give me a moment to think.” She gasped her face red with anger; she had never been talked to so rudely by anypony.

“Who do you think you are?” Dash yelled as she got in my face. Taking my time I slowly stood up to my full height of 6’3’’. Towering over the Pegasus, I snapped the string that was apparently supposed to keep my hands bound.

“I think I’m Louis, and I think you’re annoying me Dashy.”  I replied snidely, it might have been cliché as hell, but damn me if wasn’t appropriate.  “Now that I finally can think straight, why don’t you tell me how I got here.” Hoping to get some answers from the stubborn unicorn, although her expression softened, as she explained.

“Well after Dash here knocked you out, we decided to bring you back in hopes of your cooperation.”

“Yes that explains why I woke up with my hands bound by that twine” I pointed out.

“Well, about that, it was Dash’s idea; she thought you might still be angry about her tackling you.” Rainbow Dash wasn’t very happy about being blamed for everything.

“Can you really blame me? He could be dangerous.” Woohoo, I had officially been acknowledged as a living thing.

“Well I guess not, although I still want to know how you it is that you know our names.” The pleading look on her face was close to breaking through, good thing I still had my poker face from all those sleepless nights with my ‘friends’.

“Believe me, you are far better off, not knowing, besides does it really matter? As for me being Discord, I’m sure if you visited Canterlot that you find him still frozen in stone.” Odd how speaking with characters I had been convinced to be imaginary, could be so awkward.

“We’ll see, I wrote a letter to my mentor and she said she would be right here.” ‘Shit. Celestia was the last pony I wanted to talk to, knowing her I would be incinerated, wait if I’m dead, that makes me a ghost? If I die here does that make me a ghost of a ghost? Ghostception. Ugh why can’t I take this seriously, oh well if I’m going to die twice in one week, I minus as well go out in a flash, sadly it probably will be a literal flash, of fire’ “and she should be here any moment.” I must have zoned out, because I really didn’t hear a word she said, not that I really cared seeing as it spared my ears from her nonstop babbling.

“Whatever, I really could care less, after all being dead has the perk of not being able to die again, well I think it does anyway…but that is beside the point, now you excuse me, I’m going for a walk.” I started for the open door, hardly surprised when it suddenly glowed purple and shut in my face.

“Your not going anywhere until the princess arrives.” Paying her no attention I kicked the door, and it flew off its hinges. It would seem that everything in this world is made of cardboard, or at least weak as it. Ducking through what once been the door, I proceeded to casually stroll around town, taking in the unusual sights that weren’t in the show. What I found weird was the lack of people (ponies, still getting used to that). “What the hell is going on?”

“You are the citizens of Ponyville were evacuated in case of the danger you pose.” Turning around once more I was hardly surprised to see the Mane 6. What did surprise me was the fact that they wore the elements of harmony. ‘Of course, even in a child friendly fantasy, people still treat me like shit. Well I’ve had enough of this, I was hoping for a relaxing eternal sleep in death, not this weird shit.  

“What danger do I pose exactly that makes you resort to those trinkets, besides I’m not the one who assaulted a peaceful person taking a nap, take them hostage and bind their hands, and then threaten to use The ‘Elements of Harmony’” I did air quotations to make my point “All because you don’t understand what I am. I can’t say I’m all that surprised that even in this make believe fantasy world, there’s still racism.” Finally ending what seemed to be a cliché villain monologue. I eagerly waited for what I assumed would be an entertaining reaction.

Unfortunately it seemed I wouldn’t get the pleasure of such things, as Celestia herself landed gracefully in front of her student.

“How did you get to Equestria monster?” Her mere presence seemed to create an aura of leadership.

“For the last time I’m not a monster, I’m human!”

“I know what you are beast, those words are one in the same, now answer my question.” She growled. Puzzled, I glared, calling me a monster was one thing. Calling my whole species beasts was another, and how the hell does she know about humans?

“You seem to know an awful lot Tia” She growled at the nickname, “But, I’ll tell you once more that I’m not a ‘beast’ or ‘monster’ or ‘it’ I’m human. As for how I got here, you’re guess is as good as mine.”

“Princess how do you know so much about him?” Twilight questioned from behind the alicorn.

“His kind used to exist here in Equestria, they sided with Discord when he still ruled Equestria with an iron fist. They were his minions, and carried out heinous crimes against all ponykind. Luckily after me and my sister imprisoned him in stone 1,000 years ago, the Humans seemed to vanish...”

“Ok just let me stop you there, first off bullshit, you don’t know my species, and whatever you labeled as human certainly wasn’t. To add to that, why am I the bad guy? Sure I’m strange to you, but I thought for a world based on friendship and harmony, I could expect a little more acceptance.” I was on a roll! “I thought this place would be better than that, better my old world full of hate and violence, but so far I have been tackled, accused, threatened, and generally treated like crap. So before you go preaching how evil I am, look in the damned mirror.” The stunned look that crossed her face as she thought over my nonsensical words was rather amusing, although the idea that Human’s used to be buddy buddy with Discord was an interesting thought.

“I might have jumped to conclusions, before I had full knowledge, I would like to humbly apologize. Anything relating to that deviant Discord makes me livid.” Celestia bowed her head ever so slightly. “But if I am proven right in my assumptions only the cold embrace of stone will comfort you for all eternity.” Well that wasn’t really what I had been expecting, but at this point I really don’t care. If she was willing to forget my insults to her earlier, I guess I could shrug off the names I had endured since arriving here.

“Very well Princess, I will accept that, now would you please calm your subjects, I feel another headache coming on.” Turning I started walking off towards the everfree forest, well at least where I thought the everfree forest was. ‘Note to self, get a fucking map.’