LOVE'S BEEN A LITTLE BIT HARD ON ME

Chapter 12: Love Hurts

“Please rise, Miss Mayor. I would like you to treat me just as you did before all this,” Twilight whined in exasperation. She looked to Celestia who stood a few hooves away in the Mayor's office, smirking at her protégé.

The tan earth pony rose, but kept her tone deferential. “It would be disrespectful Milady, to address you with such familiarity. Had I known earlier, I never would have-”

“And that's exactly why I didn't tell anypony about it,” Twilight interrupted. “If I had wanted fame and recognition, I would have sent out a notice. But I like it here in Ponyville as it is. Sure it's filled with crazy ponies, and yes, there occasionally is some great disaster that threatens everypony's safety, but this place feels like... home. Here I feel welcome because I'm me, not because I'm the Princess's personal student, or a Countess, or even a bearer of an Element of Harmony.” She ducked her head until her eyes met the Mayor's. “I love Ponyville just as much as Ponyville loves me, and I want to live here. I don't want to be treated like royalty, though listening to my advice now and again would make for a nice change of pace.”

The mayor reflexively flinched from the ever so mild rebuke. “Yes Mi- Twilight.”

Twilight nodded in satisfaction. “Good. And that goes for my her- er, fillyfriends as well.”

Mare nodded again. “It's alright, Twilight. You've already informed me about the upcoming... er, thing. I would have had to know anyway when the license crossed my desk.”

Twilight put a hoof to her forehead and tried to massage away the tension. “Sorry. It's a little difficult to remember who I've told sometimes. This is all pretty stressful besides."

Resting a comforting hoof on her shoulder, Celestia said, “Maybe you should rest, Twilight. You look worn out.”

Twilight scrubbed her face with her hooves and groaned. “I can't, Princess. There's still too much to do, yet. I still have to oversee the construction of the pergola and arbor, the local florists won't be able to handle the large order here so I need to make some calls to the larger ones in Canterlot, Pinkie insists on using her deejay friend for all the music which has Trixie up in arms again, and I swear that if Rarity offers one more change to make to the decorations I'm going to scream.”

Celestia's horn glowed and a steaming mug appeared in front of the frazzled unicorn. “Have some cocoa, Twilight. It will calm you down.”

Gratefully taking the cup in her own magic, Twilight accepted gratefully. “Thank you, Princess. This is just what I need right now.” She finished the cup in one long swallow and licked the marshmallow cream from her upper lip. “Mmm... just like how I...” her mouth cracked open in a wide yawn. “... remember it. Excuse me. I just...” Before she could even finish her sentence, she was asleep on her hooves, snoring away.

Celestia caught the mug before it dropped to the floor and teleported it away. She moved Twilight onto her back and nestled her in between her wings, fluffing them up a bit to help keep her steady. She smiled back at her precious cargo wistfully. “I haven't done this since she was a filly,” she whispered. Turning back to the Mayor, she said in a low voice, “I'll leave the local bureaucracy to you, then. If you'll excuse me, I need to deliver her home so she can get some rest.”

“Of course, Your Highness,” Mayor Mare whispered and bowed low until she had left the office. Not for the first time, she felt a stab of envy at the familiarity the unicorn and Princess shared.

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Waking from a doze on a cloud, she lazily looked around, casually noting that the sun was just starting to sink below the horizon. Alas, time for a little industriousness, We suppose, she thought with a sigh. By the firmament, would that We could relax thus for a week! She rolled onto her stomach with a grunt of lazy effort and looked directly at the sun. She soaked in the warm embrace a bit longer before closing her eyes and concentrating.

Her horn did not glow, because this was not magic she was using. At least, it wasn't magic in the sense that others understood it. No, this was something far more... innate. becoming in tune with her true nature, she coaxed the stars out, one by one at first, then a few dozen at a time,, until at last, hundreds, then thousands, then millions came into view, filling the night sky with their pinpricks of light. It wasn't long before the moon joined them, shedding it's own brilliance on the land below it.

She looked up to admire her work and smiled. She saw the constellations winking at her, and she returned the friendly gesture. A flap of wings to her right drew her attention, and she looked up to see her best friend. She waved to her and gestured to a space next to her on the cloud. “We hope this lovely eve finds thee well, Nyx.”

Nyx landed next to her and nuzzled up to her like a great cat, though not so great as to overwhelm her with her usual size. “Much better now that we're together. I've missed you these past few weeks. Even though you spend them in my Library, I hardly get to see you anymore. Even Kat is feeling neglected.”

“Verily, We apologize, but this research couldst be the key to finally putting an end to this sad business. We had to absent ourselves from the library, because We knew if We spent our time frolicking there, We just would have been drawn back into more research.” She nuzzled the sphinx and placed a purple hoof over her paw. “Forgive us?”

Nyx blushed and shyly replied, “Always.”

They sat together, sharing their body warmth and gazed at the stars quietly for some time.

(\ /)
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*(“)(“)

Twilight awoke, still muzzy from her unintentional nap. How odd. I haven't had that dream in years. Yawning, she stretched her hind end first, sticking it high into the air, then levered forward, stretching her forelegs. A whiff of Celestia's scent lingering on her coat brought a nostalgic smile to her face, and for a moment, she was lost in her foalhood. You know, I just realized suddenly that this was one dream I never shared with the Princess for one reason or another. I wonder if she's still around. One way to find out, I guess.

She walked downstairs to find Spike and her fillyfriends having a late dinner. Cheerilee looked up and garnered the rest's attention by saying, “Well, good morning, Miss Sleepyhead. Have a good nap?”

Twilight looked around, even peeking into the living room. “Is the Princess gone already?”

“'Fraid so, Milady,” Spitfire said in between bites of garlic toast. “If there's something you need to talk to her about, you could always send a letter.”

Spike looked mildly nauseous at the idea of burping up fire for a letter this soon after eating garlic.

Shaking her head, Twilight replied, “No, it's okay. It's nothing important enough for a letter, and it would be kind of awkward to converse about it like that. It was just... just a dream.” Already, she could feel important details of the sequence slipping away from her, even as she tried to hold on to them. She shook her head to clear it, and asked, “So what are we having?”

“Pasketti and marinara!” Trixie said happily.

Twilight hugged her from behind and kissed a spot of sauce from her cheek. “I love you girls so much.”

(\ /)
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*(“)(“)

Plain Sight watched the Princess's chariot fly off with her in it from the dark of an alley and sighed in relief.

“Is it that big a relief to see the back of her?”

Plain Sight Whirled her head to glare daggers at Limnear a few paces away. “She is my Diarch; the second most important pony in my life. You will treat her with respect whether or not she is present.”

Limnear held up her forepaws defensively. “Hey, whoa, I was just saying that you sounded relieved to see her go, is all. No need to bite my head off.”

Somewhat mollified, the earth pony turned back to watch the receding chariot shrink into a speck before disappearing entirely. “Sorry, but she gets enough flak from those insipid nobles without having to deal with insubordinate subordinates. And yes, it's always a relief to see her safely off whenever she comes for these visits. I think she needs them as much as Twilight does, but it's a hoof-biting experience when I know that her safety is my responsibility.” Turning back to the griffoness, she asked, “Was there something you needed?”

Limnear held a forepaw over her heart as if shot. “Oh! You wound me as no arrow can with mere words! Can't a griffoness just hang out with her best friend-hopefully-with-privileges-and-much-more? Honestly, PS, you're far too suspicious.”

Rolling her eyes, the mare good-naturedly took the bait so elegantly laid out for her. “It comes with the job, baby,” she replied with a fake gangster accent.

The two of them shared a smile, the first genuine one Limnear had seen on her mare's face since she returned to Griffonia years ago. Leaning in close, she was glad to see the earth pony didn't flinch or even pull away. “Did you get my present for you?”

Plain Sight grinned at her slyly. “I must say that they certainly were eye-openers first thing in the morning. How did you get them on my pillow without waking me?”

“I have my ways,” Limnear evaded her questions with practiced ease. “So which was your favorite?”

Putting a hoof to her chin, Plain Sight looked off into the distance and said, “That would probably have to be the one where you have your rear in the camera and are looking back. Reminded me of our misspent youth.”

Limnear cocked an eye at her. “The one with the teddy and stockings? I hope you appreciate just how difficult it is to put on stockings over fur and not have them come out looking like you stuffed a cat into a plastic bag.”

“I remember,” Plain Sight replied. “I helped you into them enough. Of course, taking them off again was always the really fun part.”

They shared a laugh that trailed off, ending with them looking into each other's eyes. Neither of them even noticed they were getting closer until Limnear crossed the final few inches and passionately kissed her mare on the lips. As hard as griffon beaks are, there is still some give to them, allowing them to form words and manipulate objects. Though nowhere approaching the dexterity of a pony's lips, they were soft and agile enough to make them decent kissers, given enough practice. Having had said practice with Plain Sight for years, Limnear was almost as good as your average pony, and she put that to good use now.

Their eyes closed and tongues dueled, sliding wetly across each other. Caressing against one another in familiar motions, they simultaneously sighed into the kiss. Limnear nipped at Plain Sight's lower lip playfully, then dived in again for seconds, this time softly fondling the mare's taut rump. Plain Sight melted into the kiss, then her eyes shot wide open. She pulled away roughly and ran off down the alley and disappeared into the crowd before Limnear could even utter a word.

The griffoness was certain that she had seen tears in the mare's eyes as she ran. “Scat!” she cursed and slammed the side of her fist against the wall to her right. She fell to her stomach and had to restrain herself from clawing at her face with her forepaws. It had taken months for the feathers to grow back and cover the scars the last time she had done that, and she couldn't afford to be away from Plain Sight that long if she wanted her second shot.

“Too fast! Too bucking fast, you twit, too fast!” Tears streamed down her face, splashing onto the ground before her. The sound of a small hoof taking a step had her swinging around, claws ready and bared. “Who's there? Come out, now!”

A small, gray unicorn filly holding a doll stepped away from a garbage can. “Are you okay, Miss Griffon?” she asked in a tiny voice.

Limnear put her claws down right away so as to not scare the poor foal anymore than she already had. “What are you doing back there, kid?”

Taking a small step forward, the filly replied, “Um, I heard somepony crying, so I came to offer a hug from Lady Sparkle.” She held her doll out in her magic, surprising the griffoness.

She looked at the proffered hand-stitched toy with some trepidation, and was about to tell her to take it away, when she looked closer at it. It was obviously supposed to be a filly, and the gray material had a dappled rump, like someone had spilled bleach on it, somehow missing the black yarn that made up the tail and mane. In fact, it bore an uncanny resemblance to a certain mare that Limnear cared for deeply.

Taking the doll in her forepaw, Limnear examined it closely, noting that though it was poorly stitched together, it looked sturdy. Experimentally, she gently squeezed the doll, and a squeak was heard. Limnear smiled at the toy and held it close to her chest. She was surprised at how good it made her feel, like she could salvage the situation, if only she persevered. She returned the doll to the filly and smiled gently at her. “Thanks, kid. I needed that.” She took to the air, heading for her home to think of a way to keep Plain Sight from ending all contact with her.

As she flew away, Limnear could hear the filly talking to the doll. “Okay Lady Sparkle, let's change you back before Daddy sees you.”

(\ /)
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*(“)(“)

Lyra stormed into her mother's opulent house, not even acknowledging the maid who opened the door for her. “Mother! Mother come explain this!”

An aging, lime-green unicorn mare walked out of the parlor, a martini glass in her magical grasp. Her slightly disheveled look letting the mint green mare know that five o'clock had indeed arrived at this home, at least. “Lyra, darling! How nice to see you! I was just thinking of visiting you.”

Lyra thrust a sheet of folded paper into her face. “Explain yourself, Mother! I thought you were okay with Bonnie!”

Aria placed a hoof on the paper so that her unfocused eyes could meet her only daughter's. “Judging by your tone, I presume you're talking about the letter I sent you.” She finished off her cosmopolitan, despite the glass still being half full, letting the cherry slip past. She shuddered before speaking again. “Lyra, my Princess, you know that I simply adore our Bonnie. She treats you like that oaf of a boyfriend you had never did, and I love her for it. However, the thing is, that you're not dealing with all the available information before running off half-cocked; as usual.” She handed the glass to the waiting maid. “Another please, Hot Toddy. Oh, and see if any of the guests would like another as well.”

Lyra rested her face in a hoof. “Oh, Mother. Entertaining while drunk? That's a new low.”

Aria ran a lime green hoof through her daughter's mane and smiled. “Again with the leaping to conclusions, Dear Heart. I'm not entertaining, we're strategizing.”

“Stra- huh?” Lyra threw a confused look at her Mother.

Further discussion came to a halt as Blueblood looked out into the grand foyer of the mansion from the parlor. “Lady Heartstrings? Is everything alright?”

Aria waved demurely to the young noble. “I'll join you shortly Milord. I was just explaining the situation to my daughter, here.” Blueblood nodded to Lyra and walked back. Turning to her daughter, she said, "You see, Dear Heart, The Duke of Canterlot has passed a ridiculous bill in the House of Lords making it impossible for commoners to gain any meaningful rank in the military. I shudder to think of the favors he's called in to implement this travesty, but I and several other believe it might be just a prelude to some more sinister bill, perhaps even outlawing marriage between the classes, though that would be almost certain political suicide-"

"Mother!" Lyra shouted, halting her dam in mid sentence. "You're drunk and rambling. What was the point of sending me a letter telling me to hide my relationship to Bonbon?"

Actually setting down her martini glass, Aria replied, "Sorry, Dear. The point is, that at this moment, it's not a very good idea for a noble such as yourself to be seen cavorting with a commoner such as Bonbon, gem that she is, as it might somehow give the old fool some sort of ammunition to use against us. It would be a different story if you had made an honest mare of that poor girl already, but since you seem to be dragging your hooves on that as well-" She stopped when she noticed the glare Lyra was giving her and cleared her throat. “As you can see, a small gathering of nobles and their offspring who were less than thrilled with the new law have decided to meet and decide what to do about it. Being the kind, giving mare that I am, I decided to let them meet here, rather than in some seedy bar or some such.”

Lyra's jaw dropped. “Mother? What are you planning?” she asked, shooting her a strange glance.

Waving a dismissive hoof, Aria replied, “Oh, nothing much. Just seeing if it's possible to make Golden Bit choke on his own rage. It's all in the name of science, you see. A grand experiment! Young Twilight Sparkle would approve, I think.” Her sly smile did little to convince Lyra that this was purely a scientific endeavor, nor did her mother's next words. “Why? Did you want to contribute, Dearest?”

Lyra smiled and hugged her mother, not even caring about the reek of alcohol on her breath. “Yes, Mom. Bonbon and I would love to help.”

(\ /)
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*(“)(“)

The sound of Busy's famous opera Carmine filled the library as Twilight and Spike re shelved the books. They had been at it for close to an hour when she finally relented and put on the record so that she wouldn't have to listen to Spike, “go mad from the sound of deafening silence, broken only by the sound of them breathing and sliding books onto shelves.” (his words exactly).

As they worked, the upbeat overture did help, and Twilight found that their progress had significantly improved. She was about to start mental calculations on the rate of improvement when the door opened and a familiar gray earth pony mare walked in.

“Is that Carmine I hear?” Octavia asked.

Twilight turned to her with a smile. “Indeed it is! Morning Miss Octavia. Anything I can do for you today?”

Octavia's eyes closed and she swayed in time to the music. “Yes. You can let me sit and soak up this culture. I had almost forgotten that real music is not all 'dubstep',” she said, putting her hooves up in air quotes.

Twilight nodded, and left her sitting on the couch, returning to her work with Spike. The gray pony waved a hoof about as if conducting an orchestra, while they worked. When the Overture ended, Octavia walked over to her again, her smile threatening to split her face in half. “I had heard from a certain pink pony that you were having a function that needed some musical accompaniment. Since it is your function, I thought I should talk to you in person to get an idea of what you will want.”

“Well, while the parties I put on are often called square, it's never been done quite so obliquely,” Twilight replied with a smirk. Octavia looked at her in confusion, but Twilight waved the matter aside. “Sorry, just a little nerd humor. So Pinkie sent you? Really? I guess she finally understood that music doesn't begin with the Pony Pokey and end with oontz oontz oontz.”

Spike started shaking his booty, but became indignant when she stopped. “Hey! Why'd you stop? I was just getting into it!”

Twilight shot him a withering glare. “Aren't you supposed to be reshelving? You want those extra bits for your allowance or not?” The baby dragon mimed closing a zipper across his lips and turned back to his work. Twilight returned her attention to Octavia and said, “Yeah, I'm actually going to have to swear you to secrecy for this, before I explain what's going on.”

“I suppose you shall want one of those silly 'Pinkie Promises' for this?” Octavia asked, and sighed when a nod was her answer. “Cross my heart, hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye,” she said as she went through the motions. “Now what is this all about?”

Looking around to make sure that nopony would hear them beyond Spike, she replied in a low voice, “I'm getting hitched.”

The Cellist's face lit up. “Oh my goodness! That is fantastic! Which one was the lucky mare?”

Twilight looked side to side and blushed hard. Licking her lips, she replied, “Um, all of them.”

Octavia tilted her head and leaned closer. “I'm sorry, it sounded like you said 'all of them'.”

“I... did,” she said more confidently.

Octavia looked off to her left as she digested this. Looking to the right, she sat down and put a hoof to her chin. She pointed a hoof at Twilight and opened her mouth, but no question was forthcoming. Her brow furrowed as she brought her hoof back to her chin and “Hmm'ed” in thought. “You know,” she said after a moment longer in thought, “if anypony was going to revive the idea of the herd, I would have thought it would be Rainbow Dash. Did you know that she propositioned Vinyl and myself this morning, right in the middle of Sugarcube Corner? During the morning rush?”

A hoof met Twilight's face which emitted a groan. “Oh, Dash...”

Octavia laid a hoof on her shoulder. “I'm glad you found a few mares that can bring you such happiness while tempering your more... encompassing outbursts.” She looked off to the side before muttering, “Now if only we can do the same for your pink friend...”

Twilight's ear twitched. “Sorry, didn't quite catch that last part.”

“Oh, I was just wondering if you wanted Pack Able's Canon or that dreadful Wagoner march,” the Cellist replied.

“Actually, I was thinking more along the lines of Clerk's Trumpet Voluntary for the processional and Moray's Rondeau for the recessional. Can you handle that with just a quartet or quintet?” Twilight asked, hope gleaming in her eyes. Octavia took out a small black book and began writing in it. “What's that?” Twilight asked her.

The gray mare finished writing and put the tiny book away. “Just putting you down as one of the few ponies in this town with whom I need to spend more time. Anypony who suggests those songs for their big day is worth getting to know better.” She straightened her bow tie, saying, “Since the ceremony yesterday, I don't think I have to ask if you're worried about the nobles taking exception to your using what they deem 'their music'.”

Twilight smiled wryly at her. “Actually, that ceremony was the way we're hoping to forestall any problems from them on any front. So, with them all four of us officially nobles, they won't have a leg to stand on, should they try to decry us as 'diluting noble blood' or some such.” Her smile became a grin at the earth pony's confusion, and she added, “I'm actually a countess.”

Octavia's eyes widened and she rose to quickly bow before her. “Milady.”

Waving off her genuflection, Twilight groused, “Oh, stop it. My friends don't bow before me. I want you to treat me just like you did before you knew about this. But, there is one thing I'd like you to do for me,” she said, looking nervous.

“Anything, Mil- er, Twilight.”

“Keep a lid on the Countess thing as well? At least until the ceremony.” Twilight rubbed a hoof along the other foreleg, looking embarrassed. “I want to enjoy my last few days without all the bowing and scraping that will come when my title is revealed.”

Octavia raised an eyebrow and tilted her head as she smiled at the unicorn. “I think this town will pleasantly surprise you in that regard. Just ask Lyra Heartstrings, sometime.”

(\ /)
( . .)
*(“)(“)

Cadance sipped from her mug of cocoa before asking, “So can we count on your support, Admiral?”

The tan pegasus with a dark-brown mane smiled back at her. She rose and saluted. “Your Highness, you may always rely on my support,” she said in a crisp contralto.

“Thank you, Honor. It's good to know that we have the backing of one of the navy's oldest dynasties,” Cadance replied.

Honor straightened her black tunic and resumed her seat. “I think it's safe to say that the crown will always have the backing of the Herring-Bones, Your Highness.” The gray, stripped tressym sitting on the back of her chair meowed his agreement. “See? Even Kibitz wants to help.”

Cadance nodded solemnly to the winged feline before breaking out in a smile. “Thank you, Kibitz. We'll accept any and all help offered.”

Taking a sip from her own mug of cocoa, Honor sat back and considered. “Well, offhoof, I know of maybe three admirals directly affected by this law, as well as a good number of captains and one commodore; all commoners, and just about all of them have some sort of political aspirations, whether it's running for the House of Commons, or creating their own family legacies. I'm sure I don't have to tell you how effective it is to tell one of the entitled to do what you want, when it's not a direct order.”

“Like herding cats,” Cadance said with a giggle.

“Exactly, Your Highness,” Honor said with a smile. “I think that the good Duke has actually done a lot of our work for us. He may have appealed to many of the elitist nobles with this law, but he certainly did himself no favors with the commoners or gentry. I'll do what I can to stir them up, but once they figure out what this really means for them, they'll come to our side in droves.”

The alicorn suddenly sobered and looked thoughtful. “What if he took that into account?”

“Pardon?”

“What if he knew that would eventually be a problem for him further on down the road?” She got up and began pacing in front of the Admiral. “Golden Bit's too clever to have not seen this coming. Surely he has some way to counter any backlash.” She sat again and looked out the window, not really seeing the naval shipyard Honor's office overlooked.

Honor put her polished brass prosthetic hoof to her chin. “The more I think about it, the more I realize you're right. He's far too canny to have left himself open like this. The problem is seeing how he planned to ward off any animosity this move would have garnered.”

They sat in silent thought for many minutes before Cadance shook her head. “I think I better pay a visit to my Aunties. See if older, wiser heads can see what we're missing.”

Rising to her hooves, Honor walked her to the door. “I'll do what I can on my end, Your Highness. If I hear anything, I'll let you know.

“Thank you admiral, I knew I could count on you,” Cadance said as she left. It was a pity her thanks did little to alleviate the concern welling up in the pegasus's chest.

(\ /)
( . .)
*(“)(“)

Twilight leaned against the wall of the cramped closet, gasping for breath. She looked across the tiny space at Trixie and gave her a silly grin and a blush. “Never heard of... this game before... What's it called... again?” she gasped out.

Equally disheveled and sweaty, Trixie whispered, “Seven minutes in Heaven.” She removed her hoof from Twilight's marehood and licked it clean. “Appropriate, no?”

“Appropriate, yes!” Twilight countered. “I guess this is what I get for missing out on all this as a filly.”

“Mmm...” Trixie murmured. “But at least now, you don't have to worry about being caught-”

The door opened, and Spike froze, his paw still reaching for the mop. Trixie and Twilight turned red from head to hoof as the baby dragon reeled back from the overpowering aroma of aroused mares. Spike pinched his nose shut and waved his other paw in front of his face. “Oh, Twilight! Really?”

Too mortified to say anything, Twilight just stood there, her mouth agape, and eyes retracted to pinpricks. Trixie grabbed the door handle in her magic and said, “Do you mind? We're having a private moment!” then slammed it shut again.

Trixie kissed her lover, then asked, “Now tell Trixie what other sexy games you missed out on as a filly so we can remedy that now? And be sure to describe yourself as a filly, leaving no detail out. Trixie wants this to be as realistic as possible.”

“Trixie, I-” She was cut off by another kiss. “Tri-” Kiss. “I-” Kiss. “Spi-” Kiss. Finally having had enough, she forcefully moved the showmare back enough to find room to breathe. “Trixie, that was very rude to Spike. I think you should apologize to him.”

Trixie rolled her eyes. “Fine, if it will please you, Trixie will apologize to the dragon.” She resumed kissing Twilight, then added, “When we're done.”

Twilight pushed her back again and looked her in the eyes. “Trixie, we're done. Even if I could let that slide for that long, the mood is gone. Now let's make ourselves presentable and talk to him, okay?” When she saw that Trixie was going to be obstinate, she kissed her nose and added, “Please? For me?”

The showmare let out an exasperated sigh and rolled her eyes again. “Fiiinnne!” she groaned.

Running a hoof through their manes, they straightened out any stray hairs, and used a roll of paper towels to clean of any residue left over from their frenetic activities. They walked out to find Spike cleaning up some spilled milk in the kitchen with a washcloth. When he didn't acknowledge their presence, Twilight knew that this was going to be an uphill battle. Taking a seat at the table, she said, “Spike, we need to talk about what just happened.”

Spike heaved a sigh of disgust and reluctantly climbed into a chair and crossed his arms in front of his chest. “What.” he said flatly.

After a nod from Twilight, Trixie cleared her throat and said, “Trixie apologizes for her rudeness earlier. It was wrong of her to snap at you and slam the door in your face, even if she was feeling... frustrated.”

Looking only partly mollified, Spike replied, “Yeah, okay. Apology accepted, I guess.”

Twilight reached out a hoof and rested it on Spike's shoulder. “I know what you saw was upsetting Spike. Won't you talk about it with me?”

Spike shot her a glare that would be dangerous if it were a pointed object. Seeing that his glare was hurting Twilight's feelings, he softened it and looked away. “This is just getting weird, Twi. When we were moving, I found your box of 'toys', and actually had one in my paw until Trixie told me what it was. Yesterday, I walked into the bathroom to find Cheerilee sitting on Spitfire's lap while she was sitting on the toilet! And now today? Where does it end, Twi?” He sunk low into his chair and mumbled, “I can't wait for Satyrday when Mom comes to pick me up.”

Twilight's face paled, as she felt a tight constriction in her chest, and Trixie gasped, bringing her hooves to her mouth. It took the librarian several minutes to trust her voice again. “S- Spike, please understand. I... I'm just discovering my sexuality." She saw him cringe at her choice of words, but soldiered on. “I was never lucky enough growing up to have colts or fillies interested in me enough to ask me to... do... these things. I... never had a chance to sow my wild oats before.”

Spike looked her in the eyes finally, seeing the hurt waiting there for him. “But you're like... my Sister/Mom! Sister/Mom's aren't supposed to do... that! It's... it's weird!”

A blush overcame Twilight as she considered, then decided to go forth with her decision. “I'm about to tell you something, Spike; and I want you to swear on your Dragon's Code to never reveal this to anypony, ever. Do you swear?”

Confused, Spike nodded. "I swear, Twi.”

Twilight took a deep breath. “When I was eight, I... walked in on Shining and Cadance in the middle of... you know.”

Spike's eyes went wide. “No!”

Nodding, Twilight went on. “I know what you're going through, Spike. It's not easy when you find out the pony you look up to is a pony like any other, with wants and needs. The pony you once thought of as perfect and could do no wrong... has mortal failings like desire.” She smiled as she remembered the aftermath. “I didn't speak to either of them for weeks. It took the Princess taking me aside and explaining that even though I thought the world of Shining and Cadance, they still had needs that had to be fulfilled, and that meant doing things that aren't exactly what one might term, 'immaculate'.”

Spike looked down at his twiddling thumbs. His cheeks puffed out as he blew out another sigh, this time one of resignation. “Can't you all just... tone it down a bit? This is getting a bit too... much for me.”

“We'll tone it down, but it's going to require that you help out too, Spike. That means knocking before entering anywhere with a door, waiting for a response where appropriate, and giving us a little time to ourselves once in a while. In return, we'll try to limit ourselves to the bedroom, or making sure that you're not around. Sound fair?”

“I guess so.”

Twilight wrapped a foreleg around his shoulders and dragged him in for a hug. “Thanks, Spike.”

Spike returned the hug, murmuring, “Sorry about what I said, Sister/Mom.”

(\ /)
( . .)
*(")(")

As he leaned against the wall, looming over the mare below him, Cunning Eye banged his massive fist against the brick façade, and enjoying the look of trepidation in the small mare's eyes. "You understand, right? I mean, a favor for a favor, and all that?"

The mare looked out of the alley formed between the train station and the general store next to it, hoping for someone to see her and come to her aid, but what few ponies that were still on the streets of Griffonstone Station were doing their best to not attract attention to themselves. The other beings, mostly griffons and minotaurs, strutted about as if they personally owned the place. Seeing that help would not be forthcoming, she gulped and nodded, wishing fervently that she had never left Baltimare, but the opportunity to make a name for herself in a new, smaller place had been too tempting. She sat down on her rump and looked up at her tormentor with tears in her eyes, and wishing she were anywhere else back in Equestria.

Cunning Eye grinned as he took her head in one of his hands and let his thumb gently stroke the mare's supple lips. "I'm glad we understand one another. Don't worry, little one. Please me, and you'll be the richest mare in... whatever you four-hooves call this dump." He had just started to lift the front of his kilt, when a voice from outside the alley stopped him.

"Sir, I have a report from Sergeant Cooper up north."

The minotaur turned to look at the new, smaller minotaur over his shoulder, not bothering to hide the earth pony over which he stood. "I presume it's important, Watchman."

"Wouldn't have interrupted if it weren't, Sir," the minotaur replied, still offering a salute, and carefully not looking to the mare.

Heaving a sigh, Cunning Eye dropped the hem and walked out, guiding the mare with a hand behind her head. He turned to the other watchman who was standing guard at the alley, and said, "Escort young Ms. Evening Falls to my quarters, Ice Heart. I'll be along in a few moments, once I deal with this." Ice Heart saluted, and guided Evening Falls away, gently prodding her with the butt end of his spear. When they were out of earshot, Cunning Eye turned to the other minotaur. "Report."

The watchman released his salute. "Sergeant Cooper reports that pony forces are beginning to mass at the border around the train tracks. He suspects that they intend to use them to move their troops further into our territory should they actually win any land."

Cunning Eye raised an eyebrow at the subordinate. "Sergeant Cooper would do well to remember that even though they are just ponies, there is a reason they are the premier organized military force in the world. Individually, they may be significantly weaker than us, but they outnumber us a dozen to one, and still have the personal backing of their godheads, not to mention that a third of them can fly, and a further third of them can use magic. It takes a special kind of fool to dismiss advantages like those."

The watchman nodded grimly. "As you say, Sir. The Sergeant also reports that his scouts are being chased away from Trottingham, so he believes that should the ponies take to the field, it will be a two-pronged attack from the ocean as well as following the tracks. He sent along his estimate of their numbers, and requests updates for his orders." The watchman handed over a folded sheet of paper and waited while his superior read it.

With a nod, Cunning Eye refolded the paper and tucked it into his sporran. "Tell the good Sergeant to keep his scouts prodding at Trottingham. I want to know what they are massing there; whether they intend to go over the waves, under the waves, or in the sky. I also want exact numbers on any artillery and weapons the land forces have. He has my permission to sneak across the border if need be, but he is to keep his appetites under control. If I hear one whisper of him engaging in his... hobbies, I'll have his hide decorating my wall, is that clear?"

"Crystal, Sir!"

"Good." Cunning Eye pulled his kilt up a bit higher and hooked his thumbs under the waistband. "Now if you'll excuse me, Watchman, I plan to have a lovely Evening."

"Good hunting, Sir."

Cunning Eye's grin returned in full force. "Oh, it will be."

Author's Notes:

Some things are finally coming to light, while others remain disturbingly vague. Also, I hope you liked the cameo.

I own the arrangement of the words, Nyx, Plain Sight, Limnear, Aria Heartstrings, and Hot Toddy. Honor Herring-Bone and Kibitz belong to David Weber, but I claim credit for their ponification (unless someone else did it first). All else belongs to Hasbro and Lauren Faust.