With many questions more and one tooth less, I have returned to record some of the most absurd drivel I have ever had the misfortune of penning.

The multitude of questions that flood my thoughts all stem from who I found outside that door when I went to investigate the knocking. Pardon, I should actually write "what" was beyond that door, not "who", since I do not want to give the misconception that it was anything believable I was staring at when I turned the knob and creaked open the entrance. I was simply dumbfounded as I stared at what appeared to be a blue horse with feathered wings sprouting from its back standing there. Standing is not the right word: Hovering with flaps of its wings – so perhaps treading? I suppose that clarification is unimportant considering what I was gawking at. The creature brushed a lock of spectrum-colored hair from its face before it spoke to me.

I believe those last few lines require some confirmation. Let me address what I can almost guarantee are your first questions: Yes, it was a blue horse with a rainbow mane; yes, the horse was flying; and yes, the horse talked. Even more impressively, I could understand the creature! It spoke Uniform Basic! Those of you on Terriel may more gutturally know the language when referred to as "Common" tongue. I know that this was true because my CCMI was still unresponsive at the time and was not offering any audio-linguistic relay assistance to translate foreign speech for me.

"Fluttershy! What are you still doing here? You were supposed to meet up with me today so we could head over to Cloudsdale for that- Aaah!" That is the best way that I can write the onomatopoeia of the shriek the thing gave once it finally looked at me and must have seen then that I was not whoever this "Fluttershy" is that it was looking for.

This is where I can explain why I am missing a tooth, and it is because my answer to that shriek with a loud, "Ack!" in surprise was not the proper answer to give. It let me know this by swiftly turning around in front of me and with a lurch, struck me in the face with a hind leg. The last thing I remember before waking up once again was the sound of my head striking a piece of furniture that must have been behind me.

In better news, however, my CCMI is once again functioning after that.

A bit after my head-on collision with the wooden armrest of the sofa, I awoke (with an understandable and excruciating headache) to realize that I was unable to move my arms and legs. When I went to press my hands against the floor and get myself back on my feet, I felt them bound behind me by some unknown force. Unbeknownst to me at the time, I had been hogtied on the floor while I was unconscious yet again. I feel I should clarify something there: Unconscious yet again, not waking up hogtied yet again. I am not one who is promiscuous enough to find myself commonly bound with ropes early in the morning. This would be a first occurrence for me.

"Now jus' hold yer horses," I heard from above me as I began to struggle to pull my wrists away from my ankles positioned above and behind me, "You ain't gonna get out of one of my knots anyways, critter." Noticing that the voice was similar to what one might hear in the drawl of a rural farm hand back on Terriel (stereotypically an Equinyr accent, but common amongst humans too), I had hoped that I could finally explain my situation to the proprietor of this estate and get to the bottom of my situation. No such luck to be had though, I thought, since it was just a damn horse. An orange horse this time, with a golden-blonde mane, and a brown fabric Stetson hat upon its head was staring down at me with large green eyes full of distrust and a puzzling look plastered across its features. "Just what the hay're you supposed to be?"

"Are you actually speaking? Are you really a talking horse, or has my CCMI been damaged from the head trauma?" I asked this rather dryly to make sure that I was not suffering from a file corruption of some sort. Perhaps one of my favorite Neo-Old Western film's audio was bleeding over from my media banks and I might have been suffering from a concussion to hallucinate that the horse's mouth moved in unison with it.

"See-see-what? What exactly is that jargon supposed to mean? Ain't ever heard of it." My question had been answered at least. If it were my media banks, the answer would not have been an intelligent response to my question.

The throbbing pain in my head was too distracting for me to start coming unraveled from the sheer impossibility of the situation: Being hogtied on the floor while talking to a hat-wearing, hick horse. "Never mind, it is unimportant. Can you please tell me where I am?"

"On the floor. Where else?"

What an adorably frustrating answer. "No, I mean what place am I in? What province is this? County? Country? Anything you can tell me at all?"

After a few moments’ consideration and an uncertain stare, the creature told me that I was currently in a place called Ponyville.

This has to be a fucking joke. Pardon my expletive; I will do what I can to scratch it out for the sake of keeping my conduct professional. It just so happens that I do not handle confusion very well.

"Jus' where exactly are you from then, critter? You obviously ain't from around."

It was at that time that I explained as best I could that I was not a "critter", but that I was a human from the city of Keycrescents, Judicial District 7 upon Terriel. When I could see that very little of what I had said made sense to my captor, I tried to shorten it to just that I was from a city named Keycrescents.

"So you certainly ain't from around. Never heard of that place a'fore in my life. You sure you ain’t makin' up stories now?"

"I wish I was; I truly, sincerely do." Taking a few deep breaths with the comfort of my respiratory assistance now online again and no longer suffering through the sensation of suffocation, a few other discomforts began to itch at me. "Forgive me interrupting our little interrogation here, but could I trouble you for some food and water? I have no idea how long I have gone without either."

An uncertain "Uh," was the first response I received, but I could see that the creature did sincerely wish to help me. That was at least mildly comforting as I was still bound on the floor like a wild animal. "What kinda stuff does a… “human” eat?"

"Whatever you have is fine. I'm too hungry to be picky about it, as long as it's edible." I really did enjoy that bowl of water and a green apple. I don't believe I had ever gone very long without food or water before that time. Is this why some individuals take up the practice of fasting? I had thought it was for religious enlightenment, but I will admit that food has never tasted so good, and water has never seemed quite as refreshing as it was at that moment. The apple was an interesting challenge to eat because of my situation, but I received a bit of help from the horse who held it still for me under a hoof. As unsanitary as that seems, I was too hungry to care at the time. The apple ordeal is also when I realized that I was missing a tooth. It must have gotten knocked out of my mouth when the blue one bucked me in the face.

"There y'all are. Took you long 'nuff to get here. Thought you were s'posed to be the fastest pony around, Rainbow! What kept ya?" asked the orange horse as the door swung open. I could only hear it, since the sofa now blocked my view of the door.

"I am! It's these two that were the hold-up. Blame them, not me, Applejack." As I came to find out, that voice was familiar to me because it was the blue one that had kicked me in the face.

"Alright girls, what is going on? Where is this pink monster you have all been talking about? If it's just Pinkie in a costume again for some belated April Fool’s Joke, I'm not going to fall for it." That was a new voice, and it did let me know that all of these horses I was seeing were female. I find it more comfortable to write she/her/she’s than to write it/its/it's

Three horses then stepped around the side of the sofa: The blue one, still hovering in midair with wings flapping; a purple horse, with a somewhat dull-pointed horn on its forehead; and the yellow horse with the swoopy mane, who huddled close behind the other two.

"Its teeth are so sharp," whispered the yellow one underneath a gasp from the purple equine.

"See? I wasn't lying, Twilight! It's a pink monster thing!" exclaimed the blue one, evidently having had some trouble convincing the one named Twilight to come along to view me.

"This thing says it's a human. Y'know anything about what a human's s'posed to be? Is this thing dangerous?" Applejack asked.

The purple horse, Twilight, stepped closer to me, inspecting my form with her mouth agape. I personally never thought of myself as anything spectacular, but it was nice to have someone think I was astonishing for once – it was terrifying, but flattering nonetheless. "A human you say? I'm not sure. The name sounds familiar; I just can't seem to recall it right now. Is this what you all have been so afraid of?"

"I thought it might try to eat me," uttered the yellow horse.

"Yeah! It was going to eat Fluttershy! Then it was going to attack me when I came looking for her! How are we not supposed to be worried about that?" remarked Rainbow.

"I jus' don't know what to say, Twilight. He speaks real funny. Seems polite, but I just don't know what t'think of it."

Twilight lowered her neck to me so she could press the horn against my face gently and gave me a long look in the eyes. I could see her mentally detailing my features, scrutinizing me as though she were trying to read my expression for something. "Is this true? Were you going to eat Fluttershy and hurt Rainbow Dash?"

"No!" I erupted in response, "Of course not! I just woke up on that sofa right there and wanted to know where I was! Next thing I know, I have talking horses kicking me in the face and putting me through an inquisition! If I knew I was going to cause such a problem, I would have just gotten up and walked away. Honest. I swear!"

The unicorn (I will call her this for now, since the horn is located on her skull above and between her eyes like the creature of myth, this only seems appropriate) smiled at me then, and gave a small coo in her voice as she spoke. "Oh, you poor thing." Standing back up to look at the others, she first nodded to Applejack who then began to untie me. "Rainbow! You knocked the creature's tooth out when you kicked him!"

"Y-yeah, but I-! He was going to-! Look, it's not my fault, okay? He screamed at me. What else was I supposed to do?" Rainbow defended.

"Did you scream at him first?" Twilight inquired.

"Shut up. I was expecting Fluttershy to answer the door." The flying horse folded its front legs unhappily at the accusation, turning her face away to avoid being looked in the eye.

"It doesn't matter. Just help me look for his tooth so I can put it back in for him." I did not feel like explaining to them that teeth are not plug-and-play like they seemed to assume they were. I was simply happy to be able to move my arms and legs once again and to pick myself up off of the ground. Applejack tried to apologize to me, but I dismissed the apology and let her know that it was quite alright. I can fully understand their concern, but I just wish they would have been as clear-headed to simply ask me like Twilight did. It could have saved me a lot of headache -- literally.

The yellow one, Fluttershy as I have discovered her name is, brought me my notebook while I was sitting propped up against the sofa waiting for the others to locate my AWOL incisor. When I asked her, she informed me that she was the one who brought me to this cabin when she found me passed out in the nearby forest. At this time, she is still explaining to me just how sorry she is for the misunderstanding and the trouble she caused me while I am trying to write, no matter how many times I tell her that it really is okay. It seems, however, that I have yet to make a complete recovery, as I can feel the nerves in my hand once again going numb from overuse. It sounds as though they have just found my tooth, so I suppose I will go ahead and try to explain to them why it is now better served as a trophy instead. Wish me luck. After I get some rest and some more information, I will return to continue recording.

It has been one hell of a day so far. I don't know exactly how much more day I can endure.