I'm beginning to wonder just how many holidays this culture observes. This spring has brought a new one to my attention that I had not heard of before, now that Songring is successful enough to warrant such luxuries as annual celebrations. Added to the list that I currently know of, which consists of the Summer Sun Festival, Winter Wrap Up (and their New Years the day after), and Hearth's Warming Eve, is this newest one: Hearts and Hooves day. I am sure that this is a very incomplete list of all the actual observed holidays, but as the list continues to grow, I find myself wondering how these ponies keep up with all of them. This is even more impressive when I consider that their year is half as long as a Terriel year, which means that they are trying to cram in this many holidays on an even smaller calendar. I can see how that would be great to keep an economy moving, as celebration leads to spending, but some of them just start to seem asinine after a while. Back in Keycrescents, we celebrated only birthdays, New Year's, and there was always a week-long celebration of hedonism in the spring (Each religion calls it something different, but most of us just like to call it Spring Break for simplicity). Needless to say, this is all a bit of a culture shock to me.

Hearts and Hooves Day would be one of those that I might consider asinine amongst the celebrations they have here. I don't know what story is cited to defend its existence, but speculation on my part just leads me to believe that it is a civilized way of recognizing the coming of spring and the usual mating patterns of mammals to conceive offspring during this time of year. Whereas I would use the term mating to describe quite a bit of the intent of this holiday, the ponies are more insistent on using the term love to describe the main premise of it. Some of the settlers called me heartless when I informed them that I did not see why love should get its own holiday. It even led to me having an argument with someone over it. (I considered it just a conversation, but they got upset with me, so I suppose it was an argument.)

"Happy Hearts and Hooves day, Mr. Prodder!" Blueprint said as she approached me in the dining hall, my back turned to the door as I sat at the bar and waited for Absinthe to finish tending to the other patrons so we could resume our chat.

"Sure," I told her, uncomfortable with the salutation due to me lacking hooves and having been informed that I may not even have a heart in the opinion of some ponies.

"What's wrong? Aren't you excited? Love is in the air, Mr. Prodder! It's that time of year!"

"Songring is going to have a busy night, that's for sure. I don't know if I'd call what's in the air love though. More like perfume, cologne, and pheromones."

"Oh come on, don't be this way. Isn't there somepony special you want to let know how much you care for today?"

"Not really, and if there was, why would I have to do it today? Why can't I do it any other day?"

"No reason to be a fuddy-duddy, sir," Blueprint reprimanded me, unamused with my rather dry responses. "Love is a magical thing! It's something mystical, and wonderful, and worth everypony's attention at least once a year. I think you need this holiday more than anypony else: It's about discovering what love really is!"

"I certainly do not need this holiday, Blueprint. I don't have somepony, end of story. Not to mention, it's not about love, it's about furthering the species as far as I can tell. A way to make something that might normally be taboo or frowned upon acceptable for a single day. Civilization adapting to basic biological demands."

"That's not true!" she raised her voice at me, offended by my insinuation of this holiday only being about procreation. "Just look around, Mr. Prodder! Everypony is going to be opening their heart today and just looking for that special somepony to share their day with! It's not about that!"

At that time I took her suggestion and looked around, stopping my sights on one couple and using my finger to point them out to Blueprint. Rabbitfoot, our leatherworker, and Foxtail, one of our gatherers, were pressing their noses together affectionately as they kept their voices quiet, and soon after rose from their seats to head towards the exit of the dining hall. "You're right, Blueprint. They're certainly not about to go back to a dark, secluded room and have carnal relations. That's just silly." I almost felt the need to wipe my mouth from the sarcasm that must have dripped off of my lips then.

"That's something you do with somepony you love!" she informed me indignantly, stamping her hoof on the bar to try to gather my attention.

"So you loved Inutile?"

Our conversation ended rather abruptly. Blueprint spent the next few minutes biting her lip and pushing her glasses up the bridge of her nose, before finally calling me heartless and stating that perhaps I am just a monster after all. After that she simply turned and went away, clear evidence for me that these ponies can be rather defensive of their simplified views on love and relationships, as well as their celebrations, so I might do best to merely keep my observations to myself.

What would a holiday about love be without troubles? Looking at Songring's roster, I can already tell you that quite a few mares would be going to bed disappointed that night, as the count of male ponies that are not too old, too dysfunctional, or too homosexual to engage with them is very small compared to the number of females within the settlement. Unless they find their comfort in the embrace of another mare (which I have learned is the case with Tye Dye and Bunsen), they will be alone on Hearts and Hooves day. A surprise note, however, about one specific stallion that I would have listed under the dysfunctional label:

Overcast.

"Mr. Benjamen Prodder?" He called upon me the day before the holiday in question, catching me at my desk as I was beginning to read over one of the novels I found in Bullion's box of books. "Oh, I didn't realize you were busy immersing yourself in fiction. I'll come back later then." As he went to turn and leave, I called him back and let him know it was alright. "Okay. I just wanted to ask you for some advice is all, if you have the time for it."

"I'll certainly do what I can. What's on your mind, Overcast?"

"Tomorrow is Hearts and Hooves day, and-"

"Pardon?" That is when Overcast was the first to explain to me what the holiday was about. His explanation derailed at the end as he informed me of just how many times he had spent this holiday without a special somepony, and how he expected it to stay that way this year and each year after it too. "Sorry to interrupt you, but you wanted advice?"

"Yes I did, Mr. Benjamen Prodder. I wanted to ask you how to get somepony to love me."

Scratching at the hair on my face from having been without a proper shave in... ever, I simply could not answer him at first. "What makes you ask me about this? I'm not really an expert on this kind of thing."

"Lots of ponies like you though, Mr. Benjamen Prodder. I was wondering if you could tell me your secret."

"I'm sure it's not that many, Overcast."

"Maple likes you."

"I could have figured that much."

"Stone Silence likes you alot too."

"Something told me that was so."

"Dawnstar is really fond of you."

"I was afraid that might be the case. Will need to nip that in the bud."

"Honeysides is interested."

"Can't say I share the feeling."

"That mentally-challenged pegasus that visited you was really into you."

"I don't even know her name, Overcast, but I call her Sugarlump. Also, I don't know if she's mentally challenged, just... cross-eyed."

"Daggersides mentioned how she'd like to see you bent backwards underneath her."

"Oh wow. That's... I honestly don't know how to respond to that, except for that I think I'll pass."

"Teardrop keeps talking about how pretty you are, especially when you're not wearing those clothes."

"Okay, let's stop talking about this. I get it, Overcast."

"Absinthe wants you too."

"Now that's just a misconception. She's flirty because it assists in her profession: Ponies are obviously more likely to make purchases from someone pretty that they believe might like them. It's nothing personal with me."

"Her talking about how good you taste and what she would do with you if you were just a couple of centuries older helps her profession, Mr. Benjamen Prodder?"

At this point I just sat at my desk with my mouth agape, staring at Overcast as he drearily began rocking from side to side to await my response. "How... how do you even know all of this?" I finally asked.

"Nopony pays attention to me, Mr. Benjamen Prodder. When I show up, they just keep talking like I'm not even there. I hear alot of stuff because of it."

"Just... who is it? Who do you want to get to like you, Overcast? I'll do what I can." I was left to rub my face in mild irritation then, as it was the only thing I could conjure up to work past how stupefied I was.

"... I love Teardrop, Mr. Benjamen Prodder." He got very quiet, kicking idly at the wave engravings on the floor. The fact that the skin of his nose got darker and it looked as though he might be heaving for breaths made me wonder if he was embarrassed to have admitted that to me. When he still refused to look up, I strolled around my desk and put my hand on his neck for comfort. "She just doesn't realize it. I want to let her know, but I'm afraid that she's not going to hear me... or maybe not care."

"We'll let her know, don't worry,” I told him, patting his mane to try to assure him that I was going to be there for him. "I can't make any promises about what she'll say or how she'll feel, but I can help you let her know." Big claims to make, considering I myself am not the romantic type.

I was left with the question of how one expresses such feelings to another. Are there customs here that I don't know of? Do I even know the customs back on Terriel regarding this subject? My experience with such things is painfully limited, so as much as I wanted to help Overcast, I was at a loss of what to tell him. What did I do the last time there was something beyond my experience?

Consult the journal.

Maple and Silence had both been trying to express some similar sentiments towards me as Overcast was so eager to mention, and I had recorded a few of their attempts in my journal. Silence had brought me wine and candles. Maple brought me candy and whiskey. Those all seemed reliable ways to garner affection from someone: Candles set a peaceful atmosphere, wine and whiskey can act as a social lubricant to allow one to say how they really feel without being inhibited by insecurities, and candy is just something small and nice to give to someone to make them smile. Looking back further, Sugarlump had once made a comment on the subject as well: About love notes being written on pink paper. Bullion had mentioned to me that he met his wife by hitting her with his wagon and helping her to recover. Taking a much less dangerous approach, I will surmise that merely being willing to do acts of generosity for the individual to show them you care will suffice. Which ones would be most useful to us though?

We decided to just use them all. Better safe than sorry, right?

The collection of supplies for our little plan took longer than we had hoped. Making candles from beeswax is a troublesome venture; trying to find candy around this place was a challenge (luckily Julienne was willing enough to make us some chocolate-covered strawberries, which I thought would suffice well enough); we could not find any paper that was pink, so we had to steal some of Teardrop's own paint to color the paper ourselves; and we then had to figure out how to mix more paint to give back to Teardrop to do a kind deed and make up for the paint we used to make her card. The last object on our list was the drink to be had on that evening, and it would also be one of the most problematic to obtain due to the nosy nature of a certain bartender among us.

Two guys can't come into a bar and ask for a bottle of the most romantic wine without being drilled with questions it seems. Looking us over with scrutiny, Absinthe coyly retrieved a dark green-glass bottle for us and set it up on the counter, refusing to let go of it at first. "Whose it for?" She prodded with odd glances between the two of us. Even as we told her that it was a secret, she would not loosen her magical grip on the bottle, stating that we would have to tell her first.

"You know this isn't any of your business, Absinthe," I informed her, as I still tried to yank the bottle out of midair. It seems her magic is much more powerful than me.

"I can make it my business. Come on, Sweets, humor me. Who’s the special somepony? Is it maybe for you two?"

"No!” I spouted back quickly, with the bottle in my grasp and suspending me in the air as I put my feet against the side of the bar and pushed off of it to give me more strength. I still could not get the damn thing to budge from her grasp. "I'm not going to tell you either, so just give this to me and we'll be on our way."

"It'd be faster if you just told me," she playfully mocked.

"This is now a matter of principle," I informed her.

"What about you?" Absinthe asked as she looked to Overcast, beginning to ignore me as I refused to give up on wrenching the bottle away. "Will you tell me just who the certain somepony is that this is intended for? You can trust me."

"I'm getting it for Teardrop, Ms. Absinthe. I really want to be her special somepony tomorrow, and Mr. Benjamen Prodder said that this might make her like me more." Overcast turned his face down again, his nose turning dark as the blood rushed to his face in a kind of blush.

"Oh... how adorable," Absinthe cooed quietly to him as she motioned for him to get closer so she could use a gentler tone. "You know you don't need this though, right? I'd say go ahead and take it just because it's a nice gesture, but it's not going to make her like you. It's up to you for that."

"Then I'm pretty much doomed," Overcast admitted quietly.

"No need to say that," the alicorn encouraged, "I think you have plenty of chance. All you need is to get her to notice you."

"Then I'm pretty much doomed," Overcast repeated.

"Stop that, silly. It's not too hard to do at all. You want to know what would really get her attention?" Smiling at him as he dejectedly asked her how, she motioned to the door and finally let the bottle rest in my hands, which sent me to the floor with a thud. "Take your gifts to her tonight instead of tomorrow."

"Why would I do that? Tomorrow is Hearts and Hooves day, not today."

"Do you think you'll feel different about her tomorrow than today?"

"No, I'll still love her, Ms. Absinthe."

"Then no reason to wait. Tell her she's special enough to you that you couldn't wait any longer. That should give you the chance you need."

With a small "Okay" under his breath, Overcast left with me at his side to go get ready to make his statement as soon as possible.

As he had quite a bit of preparation to do, I did not want to distract him and set off back to my own office, having given him all the advice and help that I thought I could. He instead made an interesting request before I managed to escape, however. "Mr. Benjamen Prodder? Will you please come with me when I tell Teardrop?"

"I can't very well tell her this for you, Overcast. You'll have to be the one to let her know."

"I know. I just... I'm nervous, and I want somepony else there in case I can't do it."

As reluctant as I was to heed his request, I told him that I would meet him outside Teardrop's room that night, and that he could simply wait there for me when he was ready. I left to go make preparations as a plan hatched in my head. There were ways that I could still help, I figured, as questionable as they may be.

It was a unique sight to behold as I strolled down the hallway that evening with a metal rod in my gloved hand, stopping as I came upon the sight of an overburdened Overcast. He was wearing a harness that he had put on just to carry all of the objects, with lit candles secured to a hat on his head, a box of chocolate-covered strawberries suspended from his neck by a thin rope, and a pink letter grasped in his mouth. The harness held glasses from the dining hall on one side and the bottle of wine on the other side, looking as though they might be sheathed weapons for him to use in his crusade for affection. There was a small smile on his lips when he saw me walking towards him, but it seemed to quickly fade and his eyes got wide when he saw what I carried with me. "What is that thing, Mr. Benjamen Prodder?" he asked as the note dropped from his lips.

"Incentive," I told him, lifting the metal rod up to get a better look at it: A long-shafted tool made of dark lead with a raised design engraved into a circular flat head at one end. This end burned a blindingly bright orange, smoke still rising off of it as it has just been pulled out of the furnace, and the words that were detailed into the circular design were illuminated in the dim candlelight of the hallway. "Like it? I finally found a use for some of that damn lead we have piling up. I had Smoke Stack go ahead and hammer it out for me, with a little help from Boiling Point to mold the end." When he still looked at it confusedly, I held the end to him so he could see the smoking orange letters that displayed in capital print: BEN'S BITCH. "This is a branding iron. Simply, I'm going to start pushing this towards your rump as soon as Teardrop opens that door."

"I'm not comfortable with this anymore," Overcast informed me as he slowly shifted away from the bright metal rod.

"Good, then that means its working. Just tell her how you feel, and I'll set it down. The longer you refuse to tell her, the more I'm going to press. You certainly don't want to get branded, do you?"

"I really don't want to be branded your bitch, Mr. Benjamen Prodder."

"Perfect, then you know what you have to do." At that, I tapped the brand against Teardrop's door in a series of three knocks, putting one hand behind my back as I stood at attention and readied the branding iron.

Yawning quietly as the door opened, the azure artist peeked out from the doorway with sleep still in her eyes as we had woken her up. It was surprising to me to see her perk up so quickly at the sight of us. "Mr. Overseer? Overcast? What are you two doing?"

"Clock starts now," I reminded him.

"Uhm..." Overcast began, biting his lip as he looked into her eyes and did his best to shift his head so the candles on his hat would not fall. "I just... I wanted to tell you something."

"I think there's a lot for you to say," Teardrop commented, still watching me slowly push the branding iron closer to Overcast's flank. "And what is he doing here?"

"He's just cheering me on- ow. Ow. Ow." It seemed that the brand was getting close, and more smoke started to rise up as his fur was starting to heat up from it. I did not know if he would be able to do it, but when I gave a short jab with the brand to urge him on, he gave a gasp and started prattling off like I had hit his fast-forward button. "I just wanted to say that I think about you all the time, and that I love you Teardrop, and I'm doing all of this so you'll notice me! That's why I brought candy, and candles, and wine, and Mr. Benjamen Prodder with me to make sure that I did this right, and I did it tonight instead of tomorrow to let you know that you're special to me on every day other than just Hearts and Hooves day too! OW, that's really hot, Mr. Benjamen Prodder! Please stop!"

As promised, I pulled the brand away and looked to Teardrop, eagerly awaiting the results.

The small pony was shocked at what she heard, flicking her ears as she tried to understand all that he had just barraged her with. The large eyes beneath her wavy pearl and blue mane stared into his own worried golden ones as she exited her room to get closer to him. "I... I didn't know..." She said at first, close enough that soon their noses touched in the dim light around us.

"Maybe now that you're sure that Onyx Culet can't be your special somepony... maybe I can? Would that be okay with you, Teardrop?"

It's been a while since I've seen her smile like that. Staring deeply at him, I watched as she used a hoof to knock the silly hat off of his head and let the candles tumble to the floor. Doing her best to mask a bit of moisture building at the corners of her eyes from his sweet words, she nodded to him and pressed closer, reaching up her hooves to embrace his neck warmly and tell him that she would really like to have him as her special somepony tonight, and for Hearts and Hooves day this year.

It was then that I happily took my leave back to my office, left with a warm heart and a small smile as I hoped that perhaps they both would find a little happiness.

I wish I could end this entry on such a bright and touching note, but I cannot neglect to also include my own holiday woes... and the trials of others close to me because of it.

On Hearts and Hooves day, I spent my whole day speaking with Absinthe at the bar, though I did not drink anything aside from some juice and water. I simply wished to use her as a barrier from needing to speak to anyone else. Being forced to witness the few couples of Songring snuggling, and worse yet the others sitting around dejectedly without a partner to share it with, I just kind of wished to drown out the day and try to forget about it. Nothing good could come of that day for me, I figured, so it was best spent just chatting idly with a bartender who thought I was too immature for her anyways. The only real interruption I had was Blueprint's little spat with me, up until Salmon came in and sat at the bar next to me with a strange set to his brow. He looked confused, reaching up often to brush his head with his hoof and scratch his ears in thought while he sat silently next to me. Resolving that he would never get around to actually telling me what was on his mind, I bothered to ask him what had him so uptight today.

"Well... there's a peculiar situation in your office."

"My office?" I asked with a quirked brow. "What do you mean? Is Abeo causing an issue of some sort?"

"Well.... I didn't stick around for too long, but I heard a rather loud argument coming from there about husky thighs and flat asses. Cap'n, perhaps you should go have a look into this? I'm afraid that I may not be equipped to disarm this kind of situation."

I just had to know what was happening then, shaking my head as I told him to come with me in case I needed an extra pair of hooves to help hold someone down while the feud was diffused.

I have heard most sides of the story now, and have been able to piece together what I believe to be what actually took place while I was wasting my day away in the dining hall.

At high noon, Maple finally stirred from her quarters after having slept off as much of her hangover as she could. The whole morning had passed, and it was already halfway through the day before she was ready to head out and finally take her chances. That day was going to be the day: The day that she finally was going to inform the coordinator, a.k.a. me, of how she truly felt. She thought perhaps she could help me... maybe that would be the night that I would finally just let go of whatever it was that made me shy away from her and she could ask me to join her for an evening of fun, comfort and bliss.

From Bullion's caravan, she had bought something special just for the occasion. A set of four silk lace stockings with two-toned deep copper and midnight black hues, as well as a sleek yet simple black undergarment to wear snugly around her flank to add decoration and provide the comfort of modesty for her intended audience. Instead of just throwing it into her usual ponytail, she had taken extra effort to braid her mane and tail, placing the occasional flower in the large plaits to add more color to her yellow and green interlocked tresses. Perhaps half an hour was spent just looking into her small mirror that was propped up on a crate, sifting half-heartedly through some of the make-up that she was unsure how to properly use, afraid to mess up and make herself just look stupid in her ignorance of how to work the magic of cosmetics. Satisfied with just a bit of lipstick and some mascara to highlight her lashes, she set off happily into the halls to go find me. Knowing how I like to recluse myself in my office, she was certain she could find me there.

"... And just what are you doing here?" Maple asked with a sour tone as the door swung open at her knock to reveal something that immediately put a foul taste into her mouth. She found that she was already second place in a race she did not know she was running, as beyond the door was another contender with her mane draped over her shoulders, lounging comfortably on the desk with an inviting smile.

Silence had already been in my office for quite a while by the time Maple entered. Her ivory pelted body was sprawled out across my desk as she waited for me to come back and find her: Ready to give me a special gift to ensure that I had a very memorable Hearts and Hooves day this year. Around her shoulders she wore an unbuttoned, sleeved vest of soft and supple faux-leather, and around her back haunches and legs hugged a pair of chaps that presented a tantalizing view of her bare flank and a very thin, revealing, pastel blue undergarment beneath it. When her sights fell on the cardinal pelt of an angry pegasus instead of the familiar rusty-colored hair of her love interest, Silence rose with a start from my desk to breathlessly broadcast, "Maple? You're not supposed to be here!"

"I could say the same thing about you," Maple sneered, looking over the clothing on the unicorn and curling her lips back unhappily. "Looks like you had some special plans for tonight, Mouse. Don't suppose they involved me dropping in and catching you, did they?"

"You're one to talk. Trussed up with stockings and a thong like a tramp? As much as I want to believe you came here for the same reason I did, you look more like you're dressed to bring me a drink and grind on a pole than to spend the evening with somepony you care about." Silence huffed in response to Maple's attire as she projected her thoughts, leaning back on the desk and folding her front legs before her gracefully with a determined and unwavering stare.

Strolling around the desk and shaking her head with a dismissive wave of one hoof, Maple went around to my chair and pulled it out from behind the desk to contemplate how she might best sit in it to catch my attention. "Just get out of here and go take those stupid clothes off, Mouse. You're just wasting both of our time and my breath. You're going to make a fool out of yourself if Ben shows up and sees you in that. And for the record: Assless chaps only look good on somepony who actually has an ass." The pegasus’ jade hues flashed as she shot a challenging glare at the quiet miner, one hoof still resting in the chair as she waited for the other to leave.

Shocked at hearing such a terrible insult spat at her from across the desk, the unicorn quickly lost measure of her conduct, her horn glowing brightly as indignation welled in her. A magic surge began to take place, and what was originally a simple sharing of her thoughts with the pegasus became a projection of her mind's words into the air around her that echoed through the room. "I look just fine! Maybe you should go back and check in a mirror before you open your trap: I'm not the one whose husky thighs are threatening to bust the seams of her stockings. I'm surprised you could even get those things on!"

"What did you say to me?" There was a moment when Maple could not believe what she had just heard, staring back over the desk with a fiery blaze in her eyes. "These thighs could break your neck, little filly, and that's nothing to be ashamed of. You can just cram it! I mean, what do you even have to bring to the table? A little hocus pocus and a broken voice box? Real impressive right there."

"At least I can also bring in the fact that I'm actually shaped like a mare."

"Hah! Shape? Straight and flat, just like a line. Might as well be a cartoon character or something. You'd have the same sex appeal either way. I'm the one here who actually has a shape, Mouse."

"Like a bull if anything. Glad you're able to be living proof that having a shape doesn't mean it's a good one. Also that bigger isn't always better."

Slamming her hoof to the desk, Maple gritted her teeth at the accusation and flared her wings out in an intimidating spread. "You're calling me masculine? Look who’s talking you little mutant! What's your most impressive feature? A friggin' horn! Sorry Mouse, but unlike some of these other stallions, Ben doesn't swing that way. He's not going to be impressed with how long, hard, and phallic your little head growth is!"

"I can't believe I'm arguing with a featherbrain. Make fun of how I look all you want, Maple, but let me remind you about who Ben actually is: He's smarter than that. He's smarter than you, Maple, and smarter than to get tricked by what little you actually have to offer." Silence rose up to the desk as well, glowering powerfully back with her gaze locked on Maple's eyes.

"Little!?" With that, Maple whipped her body around, slamming her side into the desk to send it toppling over and making Silence stumble to try to catch her footing. Maple brandished her muscular, taut backside and stood erect before slamming the ground with a hoof powerfully enough that she left a small dent in the stone floor. "I've got alot more on me to offer than you! You can't measure up to what I'm sporting over here!"

"And beyond that, then what? You know Abeo has alot of muscles and alot of meat on her too, but then he'd still just be talking to a dumb animal after it was all said and done. I have a feeling that you wouldn't be too different." Silence responded angrily, using her magic to lift the desk back up and set it upright, slamming it into Maple's side to push her back in return.

"I'm not a tank, you mute bitch!" Maple erupted as she stood as well, grabbing the chair in her grasp furiously at the taunt.

"Might as well be since all you've got are muscles. If only you had a brain, right? Maybe then you would be worth more than a quick, cheap fuck."

The wood of the chair splintered and clattered as it was hurled across the room with a roar, only to be slammed to the ground and smashed into a pile of wooden refuse by Silence's magic as she deflected it. "How can you even say that!?" Maple bellowed, struggling to find a comeback. "You can't even talk! He'd get the same pillow talk from a boulder!"

The desk screeched as it moved across the ground again, pushing closer to Maple as it was used to start bumping her back and closer to the far wall of my office. "Even without a voice, my words mean more than yours ever will. You're nothing but a waste of too-much-air to feed your windbag nature and too-much-space to make room for your fat ass!" As Maple growled back, Silence closed her eyelids to a mere slit as she mentally spat another jeer. "Oh, sorry, I meant burly ass. That just sounds so much more appealing, right?"

The door swung open with a small creak, drawing their attention away from the fray and each other. I was standing in the doorway then, surveying my office to take note of the damage being caused within. A chair smashed to pieces on the floor, my desk warped, papers everywhere, and my floor dented and cracked where it had been struck with what I might consider herculean force. Two provocatively clad mares looked back at me with wide eyes while I calmly observed them and the results of their scuffle. My hands ran for cover behind my back as I tried to conjure up any words at all for them.

Maple was not done, however. With Silence distracted by my presence, Maple bucked the desk out of her way and leapt through the small office. With a crash, she collided with Silence, throwing her whole weight into tackle that sent them both rolling across the stone floor. As each one grunted and fought, the victor rose up and pinned the other beneath her to the floor. The pegasus held the unicorn in place under her, staring menacingly down with her teeth bared. "Take that back! I'm not just some cheap fuck! You take it back!" Her enraged words reverberated as I shut the door to hide this scene for everyone's sake.

Before I could raise my voice in protest of her assault, Silence's words barked back in a rumbling response around us. "I hit a nerve, huh? Makes sense now. I guess I can see why that really hits home, now doesn't it?"

Without another word, Maple's hoof rose into the air above her prone victim, ready to bring it down in a vicious strike to end the taunts.

I could not watch her do it. "Stop!" I shouted to them both, too far away to make it in time to grasp her hoof and hold her back. "Both of you! Just stop! Get off of her and act like you both have some sort of damn sense!" I erupted once more, fists tightened as I feared watching the brutal strike of the heavy hoof against Silence and the stony floor.

Maple paused at my words, seething with rage as she stared down at Silence's own fierce and determined glare. "She's not worth your pity, Ben. Let me do this! Let me put her in her place!" The pegasus looked to me pleadingly, heaving for breaths as she eased her grip and began to back away from Silence as I had commanded. "If she wants to pick a fight, then let me give it to her!"

"I'll have neither of you injured," I demanded, folding my arms in front of me as I did my best to ignore the choking tension that hung in the room. "If you have a problem, start talking. I'm not okay with seeing either of you sent to the infirmary due to an acute case of stupidity."

Standing back up, Silence slowly dusted herself off with a stern set to her brow. "I'm glad you got to see this, Ben. It gives you a perfect example of what I mean when I tell you that Mapleleaf here is just a bully. What choice does she have though? Violence is the last resort of the intellectually, artistically, and morally challenged."

"Hey! I have a right to get pissed off when somepony is coming around here trying to take advantage of somepony I care about! Worse yet, she insults me when she certainly doesn't have anything to back it up with! I don't know when you got it in your head that you were going to make moves on him, Mouse, but he doesn't need your kind of help. I'm the one he actually cares for." Maple restrained herself to just grinding her teeth and holding her ground, looking between Silence and I as she spoke.

"You? All he's done, at most, was give you another hit of booze and a pat on the head. He's put his life on the line for me, Maple... I mean enough to him that he risked danger to save me. When has he done that for you? I don't see where you get this idea that he holds that kind of affection towards you."

"Because I don't put myself in danger like that! If anything, I've saved him! I ripped a piper's neck out to keep him from getting hurt! What have you done? Found some lead and tried to poison him and everypony else. Even if he did feel for you, I doubt you could show him that kind of care back."

"This is about me?" I asked exasperatedly, rubbing my face as I just wished for it to be over with already. I knew something like this was going to happen eventually... I had just hoped I was wrong. Sadly, it just seems I was right once again.

"It is," Silence responded to me, her tone becoming gentler when she regarded me instead of her adversary. "Ben, I think it's time you had a chat with Maple and let her know what's really going on."

"Stop it!" Maple responded with her voice still raised, "You don't know who he's chosen!"

"I know he wouldn't pick some drunken, empty-headed pegasus with an attitude problem."

"Ben, don't listen to her! She's just a filthy little mole that spends her time burrowing holes in the dirt!"

"She's just a brute, Ben! Immature and bawdy, like some schoolyard bully!"

"She's mute! She can't even freaking talk! You can't want to have to have her speak at your brain every time she has something to say to you."

"You're both horses!" I finally shouted back, clenching my fists as I grew livid at their arguments. "I've had just about enough of this foolishness! You both need to cut it out! I'm not going to choose, and that's final."

"Is it because you're just too good to hurt her feelings, Ben? If that's the case, let me do it for you. I'll break her fragile little heart for you. Just say my name and I'll take care of the rest," Maple told me, heaving for breaths as her visage softened to something resembling a plea.

"She's right, no reason to spare her feelings," Silence agreed, before lowering her nose and smoldering under her breath with her brow pinched in a scowl at Maple. "... She's just a whore anyways. Who cares about what she feels?"

"I said that's enough, Silence! That's completely uncalled for," I rebuked her.

"I'm not just spitting names, Ben. I mean that she's a whore." There was a grim, dreadful tone to her thoughts as they continued to whisper around us, Silence looking up at me with a stern stare.

Maple's mouth hung open; her breath taken away as she was at a loss for words. When I looked at her, I saw her legs begin to tremble, I saw her breaths halt, I saw her eyes widen: I saw fear. "You... you shut up, Silence! Just shut up!" she screamed back.

"You weren't going to tell him?" The unicorn shot a terrible glance at the pegasus as she continued her questions. "So you're both a whore and a liar now? You were just going to hide something like this from him? How long? How long did you plan to string him along before you finally told him?" Shaking her head, Silence refused to let up with her drilling, chastising questions. "You were just going to neglect telling him of all the stallions you've had inside of you? How many nights you earned your pay on your back, or of how many strange beds and tables you've been bent over just for a few lousy bits to put in your pocket?"

Maple was silent. Even as I watched, she tried to push words out of her frozen throat, but she could not muster anything to say at the accusations. Her powerful stance had become vulnerable and unsure, and I could see, in the low light of my office, tears glimmer as they rolled down her cheeks and spattered against the floor beneath her.

"You wanted to measure yourself up to me? Well then, there you have it. There's the whole ugly truth of it Maple!" Silence's thoughts boomed once again in my office, her piercing stare unwaveringly holding the accused pegasus. "You're still just a slab of meat! No good for anything but being fucked and thrown away like a piece of trash! He deserves better than you and you know it. Now just go crawl back into a bottle where you belong."

I still can hardly believe that I heard such venom come from Silence during her verbal anomaly. The vicious words rang through my office in an echo for us to bask in, leaving me too shocked to respond. All I could do was turn my eyes to Maple once more and bear witness to what had happened to her during that final accusation. The woodspony was still and silent, her eyes wide and unblinking as water blackened by her mascara dripped down her face. I witnessed the strongest pony I know broken before me. As her mouth opened to give some form of protest or rebuttal, all that came out was a sob. A dark, wracking sound that was followed by many others, her chest heaving as she could not restrain herself anymore. These sobs were not like those I had heard from her before, even when she broke down in regret at having to leave Rag and Tag. The well from which they rose was far deeper. They were sobs of mourning, sobs of guilt; these were sobs of hopelessness. The wet eyes turned to me as she wept helplessly before us both, shaking her head in apology. "I'm so sorry... I'm so sorry Ben," is all she could say to me before she dropped her gaze and hung her head low in front of her as she turned away from us. Her sobs continued to ring out loudly and uncontrollably as she removed herself to the door to go hide somewhere.

Silence's visage changed too. Until then, she had worn the stoic and unfeeling expression of an executioner looking upon her victim, but when she saw the results of her deed, there was no victory or joy in her eyes. She became rigid in shock as regret washed over her, and she called out to try to stifle the dreadful realizations that came to her. "Maple! No! Come back, I... I didn't mean... I was just trying... I'm sorry!" It was too late. The axe had been dropped. Maple let the door close lazily behind her as she exited, leaving only the two of us together in my office.

The soundlessness dragged on for minutes as I simply watched the door and tried to push away the scene burned into my brain of the look in the pegasus' eyes as she left. I did not want to remember the sight of seeing one's hope so utterly snuffed out. I had to fight back my emotions at that time, as I felt my eyes burn and my heart ache when I could not escape the image.

"I'm sorry." Those were the first words my mind had perceived since the door had shut. I looked to Silence, as she had abandoned the omnipotent broadcasts and returned to her usual form of communication. I witnessed her tears too, streaming down her face as she looked up at me and pinned her ears back sorrowfully.

"Well... Was it worth it?" I asked at last, my tone dead as I was still too much in shock to summon an emotion to express for her.

"No. No, nothing is worth what I just said," the crying unicorn admitted. "I don't know what came over me. I... I just read it off of her, and when I thought you were going to choose her... it just came out. I didn't mean it." Her apologies continued softly as she had no other words to express her regret.

"I'm not the one you should be sorry to," I told her as I simply walked further into my office and reached for my toppled and damaged desk. "I'm not the one that you just crucified to try to get your way." She bit her lip at my harsh tone and lowered her head apologetically, but I didn't even bother looking at her anymore. "I hope you're proud of yourself. I'm certainly not."

All she could do was sputter out a small cry at my dismissal. I waved my hand at her to signal that she should leave and that I had much to take care of that no longer involved her. I heard one or two more sobs come from her while she was slowly heading towards the door. Her voice implored my mind, begging for my forgiveness, until it finally faded away as as the distance between us grew and our connection was lost. When I was finally alone in my office, I spent many minutes looking over the carnage and chewing on my cheek in unwanted thought. I pointlessly put the desk upright and tried fitting the shelves back in, tossing those that were too warped into the corner of the room to be discarded of later. Throwing the mess of papers into a lump on my desk, I stood, without the benefit of my chair, and began looking them over, sorting them back into piles I could recognize.

I just wanted it to be over.

I did not even realize that my door had been opened again while I was sifting through the paperwork thoughtlessly. My mind was occupied still with only trying to scrub away the memory of what I had just witnessed, dreading the moment when I would finally be over the shock and forced to feel what this disaster might invoke.

"Prodder... I'm disappointed in you."

I saw Salmon when I looked up. His peach pelt filled the open doorway, as his wings were spread out intimidatingly. His nose was wrinkled from how low set the middle of his brow was, evidencing his disgust for me. "It's over," I told him with a shake of my head, dismissing both him and his anger at me, "There's nothing left to do about it. It resolved itself, and all I can do now is fix what they damaged in their stupid disagreement."

"You know that chair and desk are the least important things here that need fixing, Prodder."

"I don't have time for this, Salmon. Just go do whatever it is you do around here."

"Then you'll make time." While I had not been watching, he had approached me and used a hoof to slam it against my shoulder, forcing me to stand erect and look back into his eyes. He was furious with me. "Just what are you anyways? I can't tell, because all I can see in front of me is either a coward or a fool, and I damn well do not trust my allegiance to either."

"This is none of your business!" I shouted back defensively, throwing a hand back against his chest to push him as he had pushed me.

"It is when it hurts one of my 'mates! Even if you're not big enough to take responsibility for it, I will make it my business, because at least I am!" He approached me again and stared me down, the skin around his eyes crinkling as he scowled around the fiery hues. "I don't care how you feel about her, Captain; I don't give a single shit about it, but she cares about you. It's not what she did that has her upset, but what she's afraid you think of her for it." I simply bit my tongue, waiting for him to continue as I had no defense. His voice was shaking with passion as he kept speaking. "So if you happen to be a stallion at all, you'll pick your arse up, get over there, and make this right. Even if you hate her for what happened and think it is her fault, you need to tighten your jaw and get the fine-fiddly-fuck over it, lad. I won't watch you needlessly stomp on a lass's heart... by Celestia, I won't let you." The seapegasus stood on his hind legs and put up his hooves, flapping his wings to keep him steady as he looked me over and ran his leg across his nose. "Now... if you're just going to sit there, expect to be prepared to fight me for your right to do it. If you're going to be the stallion I expect you to be, you better at least be strong enough to fight for your choices."

Watching as he stood before me upright: Ready to strike me with his hooves and play the role of champion for the injured, I merely shook my head at him. Seeing the old seapony that I had come to revere as my friend look down at me with such disappointment and distaste made me sigh in despair. "... I'm scared, Salmon,” I finally admitted to him, grasping my desk as I could not bear to look up at him anymore. "I don't want to be a part of this. I... I'm afraid to get attached. What will happen if I do? The risks are too great. I don't want to cast that die."

Salmon's hooves dropped, but his stern expression did not. "That's what bravery is about. Fearlessness is for those who are beyond knowing what's good for them and those around them. Bravery is conquering the fears that one must to make a difference." He held his hoof out, this time for me to take in my hand, instead of preparing to hit me with it. "She's in a terrible place right now, Captain. I honestly am afraid too. I'm afraid of what might happen to her. We're both afraid... but she needs you to be brave for her." As I took his hoof and let him pull me back from behind my desk, he wrapped his leg around my shoulder to walk to me to the door. "She's saved your life before, Captain... And now she really needs you to return the favor."

I knew he was right. I should do something to try to help her, but part of me dreaded doing it. As much as I felt the compelling urge to go to her and try to offer comfort, I knew that I could not do it without forcing myself to open up. I couldn't do it and not feel. That's what I was afraid of. The last thing I wanted was to feel for someone else... for every time I become attached to someone in some way, they are inevitably yanked away from me. I loved my father... I remember from the small shards of memory about him I still have that he was my hero... that he could do everything. He had to leave, and never came home. I really grew fond of my friends back in Ponyville, but once again, I was pulled away from them and shipped off to the remote wilds of Songring. I cared for Hyacinth, but I had to watch her walk away into the distance with only the dolls she could carry and a promise that I have already broken. I don't want to bring these things upon myself. I don't want to care for something or someone just to see it taken away from me too.

As Salmon said though, she needed me to be brave.

I approached the familiar door alone, Salmon having split off from me once we reached the intersection between the hallway that led to my office and the halls that held the doors to the small apartments. Time passed as I simply looked into the grooves and niches of the unpainted wooden door, curling and flexing my fingers pointlessly while I fought with myself silently. Few ponies seemed to be wandering the hallways at this time, and those who did simply gave me a quick glance and went about their way. Perhaps they saw how troubled I was, or perhaps they just feared me grinding their faces into the banks of the Charmedsmile if they made a comment about me standing outside of her door. Their lack of contact did give me time to listen, however.

All I could hear in the room beyond the door was what I might call a tantrum. When I pressed my ear to the door, from within came the sounds of Maple's voice ringing out in desperate, weeping sobs. Furniture crashed as she kicked it about, and over and over I heard her speak to no one but herself in the lonely little stone room through her panting and sobbing breaths. A mirror shattered after she looked into it and must have seen only her own unloved face dripping with black tears. It eventually came to an end as her back slammed against the wooden door, her crying was muffled by what I could only guess were her own legs as she curled up to hide her head from the emptiness around her.

My hand reached for the doorknob, but it was no use. The lock was in place. Even without this hindrance, I realized then I would not be able to open it past her body, which was blocking the door. "Maple?" I called through the wooden portal, gently rapping my hand against it to get her attention, "I need to speak with you. Will you open the door?"

"No," I heard her call back after some moments spent trying to clear her nose and steady her breath enough to speak with any coherency. "Just go away!" Her back slammed against the door again to assert that she would not open it, and I knew it was because she could not bear to let me watch her cry after what I had learned. "Just go find Silence and spend a happy Hearts and Hooves day together. Don't waste your special day worrying about… a piece of trash like me." She could not make it through those last words without breaking down again, muffling her long, bellowing weeps into her legs.

"Please open the door, Maple," I asked again, trying once more uselessly to turn the knob to no avail. "Please just let me see you." There was no answer, just her quiet snivels. I could hear the rhythmic creak of the door as she rocked herself for comfort. My head rested against the door, simply waiting. I closed my eyes as all I could do was listen to her sounds of sorrow on the other side. As the minutes passed and she still refused to let me enter, I realized that water had dripped from my eyes and down my nose, and were resting on the side of the door while I eavesdropped. After a while, I turned around and placed my back against the door, sliding down to be seated and bringing me closer to her spasmed breaths and whimpers of despair. I could feel the door was warm from where her own body rested against it on the other side.

I simply would not leave.

Hours must have passed as I waited. I stopped caring about the time rather quickly, merely sitting with my legs apart and the back of my head against the door. The sounds within her room would come and go. Sometimes she would erupt into another fit of tears, others were just quiet heaves to herself, and I could even hear her pointlessly swirl a hoof against the stone floor to circle the dust around. I don't know if I was awake for all of it. Fighting to not to tear up myself as she weeped helplessly and alone right behind me had left me bereft of energy. A few ponies stopped to check on me, but when they brought up questions, I only asked them to leave me be for the time. Beyond that, they just left the two of us to soak in each others warmth through the wooden door as we waited for the other to make a move. She waited for me to give up and walk away, and I waited for her to realize that I was not going to.

I don't know how long it was before I heard her stand up behind the door. With a slow turn, the lock gave a click as it came undone, and the knob rustled as she opened the portal just a crack. It was only enough space that when I looked over my shoulder I could barely see one of her large, jade eyes looking back at me, still gleaming with moisture. "What are you still doing here?" she asked me with a cracked voice, "I told you to leave. Hearts and Hooves day is going to be over soon, and you'll have wasted it all here being..." I couldn't tell what she had wanted to call me, her voice just dying off into heavy breathing as she stared.

"When have I ever taken your advice when you told me to leave?" I brought up a hand to rest it on the door, looking between it and her eye as I thought of what to do with the only chance she might give me. "I didn't walk away the other two times."

"You're still a stubborn ass," Maple stated, sniffing to try to clear her nose from the congestion her grieving had brought on, "And those times were... were before you knew who I really am." Biting her lip to try to summon the strength to say more and not let me see her choke up while doing it, she finally eeked out, "Before you knew what I did before Songring."

"I still don't plan on walking away. Maple, please open the door."

"Why do you want in so bad anyways? Why won't you just go be happy with somepony else? You heard her! You know it all now. I'm nothing but a toy to be fucked and tossed aside. Why do you keep wasting your time with me?"

"Because I still don't know all the facts. Do you wish to tell me why you did it? Can you give me some idea as to what drove you to it?"

Maple quietly held the door as she looked out at me, struggling to not relive the memories of what I asked her to defend. Her lips tightened as she swallowed hard and fought the feelings those memories brought her while she watched me. "I had to do it. Lopeyette isn't like your fancy Canterlot, or like Ponyville, or any of those places. There's no work for a gal like me. I had to do it... Granddad was hurt and we still had to eat somehow. I... I did it because it was the only thing ponies would pay a gal like me for." Resting her head to the door, she closed her eyes and began slowly shaking it apologetically towards me, the tears blackened by her mascara beginning to streak through the crimson fur on her cheek once again. "I’m sorry I didn't tell you... I didn't want to tell you... not yet. Just not yet. I thought that maybe if you already loved me, you'd understand. Maybe then you could look past it. I'm so sorry that I tried to trick you, Ben." Drawing in a shaky breath, she forced herself to look me in the eyes. "It's just you are the only pony that makes me feel like I'm worth a damn. Please... forgive me."

"You're forgiven... and you're still worthwhile to me. That's never changed.”

She finally opened the door then. Swinging it open, she leapt out to me and wrapped her legs around my shoulders to bury her face in my neck. No words escaped her then as I held her there in the quiet dimness of the hallway, letting her fall to her side and just rest next to me while I ran my hand through her mane and stroked her ears. She was a mess: Her mascara running and lipstick smeared, the braids of her mane and tail hung loosely or fallen apart altogether with crushed flowers matted throughout. As she sniffled, I told her that it would all be okay and that I didn't care about what she did before Songring. I told her that she simply did what she had to do, and nobody could ever condemn her for doing nothing more than trying to take care of those she loved.

As the night fell and ponies started to whisper when they passed us with her still resting in my arms, I told her that we could not stay here all night. It was time for us to go ahead and get going. She would not leave me, however. The pegasus asked me, almost begging, to just let her have this evening to have somepony to hold. No matter how much I battled with myself over it, I could not stop myself from telling her okay and walking her back to my office with her head still resting on my shoulder affectionately.

That's where I am now. Hearts and Hooves day must have passed while I was writing in this journal, lying in my bed with Maple beside me. When I insisted that there was much that I had to write, she merely told me that I could write on her tonight. Unable to tell her no, I have ended up resting my journal on her side and penning my thoughts as she slumbers here next to me. Occasionally, she'll give a sudden hiccup and pull her legs tighter around me for comfort, but the whole time I can still see a smile tugging at the sides of her lips confirming that she got what she needed tonight: Somepony to hold that makes her feel that she is special, and that perhaps she does have some meaning other than to be used and discarded.

I hate Hearts and Hooves day. For every pony that goes to bed tonight happy with another in their grasp or in their heart, there will be at least one other pony who spends it alone, forced to believe that they may not be worth loving. It also leads to situations like the one I am in now, and I am still so afraid of what will happen. I'm afraid to get attached... but her strong grasp makes me feel so safe, and her kisses taste like warm sugar and whiskey. I don't want to get attached, but I don't think there's any chance of me avoiding it now.

As much as I'm afraid to... I love you Maple.