Throughout the past week, I believe I have had even more trouble adjusting to our current arrangements than Dawnstar has. Being that I am merely her advisor right now, as I am trying to give her the true experience and teaching she deserves, I struggle to know my place and maintain it with the proper diligence. When the settlers come to me with concerns and issues, I find myself most often trying to give them an order or an answer before forcing myself to shut up and let them know I will bring it up with the acting Development Coordinator. Perhaps Dawnstar has had an easier time adjusting because I have also been sure to use my position to keep her in line too, despite her being unhappy with my methods.

After the first few days of watching her interact with the ponies when trying to get them to heed her work orders, I found that there is a bit of a problem with her approach and method. After the third day, I took the liberty of collecting a bottle with a spray nozzle (formerly used to clean the windows around Songring) and filled it up with water at the bathhouse before attaching it to my belt for easy access. This caused Dawnstar a bit of concern when she first saw me following her with it equipped.

"Mr. Prodder, why do you have a squirt bottle with you?" Dawnstar puzzled, watching me as I slowly pulled it from its holster and flipped it over my finger playfully like a cowboy spinning a revolver.

"This? I thought I would keep a bit of discouragement with me in a tangible form. Don't worry so much about it, Dawnstar: If you act like an adult and conduct business with others in a professional, amiable, and productive manner, you won't even see me pull it off of my belt again."

"What does that mean, exactly?" she questioned again, becoming tense as I ensured that the cap was as tight as possible on the bottle for the time being.

"Well, you tend to nag when you're interacting with the settlers. I will be-"

"I don't nag!"

Squirt.

Right on the snout. The shot of water erupted into a fine mist over her face and caused her to recoil with a gasp. Her eyes only opened again once the vapor had settled, and she looked at me like I had just struck her. "What's wrong with you!?"

Squirt.

"Why are you doing this!?" she attempted again, shielding her eyes with her leg as she pulled away from the cold water in my squirt bottle.

"You're not conducting yourself in one of the three ways I just described, Dawnstar. Clean up your act, and I'll stop cleaning up your face."

"Why a squirt bottle!?"

"It's how you get a cat to stop doing something, isn't it? Tried it on Garnet: He'll think twice about climbing on the tablecloths in the dining hall now. I figured this was better than putting you in a kennel each time you misbehaved."

"You're a monster!" she shouted at me furiously. "You can't treat ponies the same way you treat an animal! This is the most ignorant, primitive idea you've come up with yet."

Squirt.

"Stop it!"

"You stop it."

"I'm not the one squirting ponies like a child!"

Squirt.

"And I'm not the one being a nag. You stop, I'll stop."

Dawnstar had to bite her tongue angrily, growling under her breath a few choice words to call me as I watched her with one brow raised. My finger itched on the trigger of the squirt bottle, but it seemed my message had become rather clear. Instead, she turned around with a huff to begin handing out work orders and asked me politely to come with her.

I think the method has been working fairly nicely, despite its barbaric nature (as many here would consider it). It has certainly given me some leverage to use while reminding Dawnstar to mind her manners when working with the other settlers. I believe that after they begin to trust in her requests and are less turned away by her demanding approach, she will find that the friendly nature and compliance she receives will be reward enough, and I will no longer have to remind her with liquid discouragement.

I am rather impressed with how she handled one isolated incident this week, and I wish to record it to remind myself of her progress in this lesson. It involved one of our jewelers; one that has been mentioned many times before in this journal: Teardrop. Dawnstar had mentioned some concern that the topaz and zircons found in the mines were not being put to full use recently, despite her order for them to be cut and set properly for the upcoming caravan visit this year. Approaching Onyx Culet regarding his lack of progress, he informed her of something rather peculiar.

Teardrop had stopped coming to work, which left him alone to try to cut the jewels, craft the rings and chains, and set the gems.

Both of us had seen her occasionally wandering around Songring, so she was not missing, but it seems that her wandering was being done on time that was meant to be spent with Onyx Culet, assisting in the preparation of the gemstones. Teardrop was playing hooky? This did not sound quite right.

In a bout of frustration, Dawnstar made some preparations in the office before storming out, ready to see to it that Teardrop would indeed return to her post and stop shirking off her responsibilites. Following a shot of water from my bottle to the back of her mane, however, Dawnstar's anger was interupted with a surprised gasp as she turned around to see me motion for her to come back for just a moment. "You could just start asking me, Mr. Prodder!"

"I could, but this is more fun and you're more likely to answer. You're a bit mad it looks like. Is it because of the squirt bottle, or because of Teardrop?"

"To think that somepony is getting a free ride around here! That I have been handing her a work order each day, and she simply lays about doing nothing while Onyx is forced to hammer out double-shifts just to try to keep up with my requests. How dare she!" With gritted teeth, the unicorn whipped about and was ready to leave once again before I called her back and asked her to just take a seat. "What is it now? I'm not doing anything wrong. I'm just going to go tell her that she needs to keep up with her responsibilities. How is that not what I'm supposed to do?"

"You're not doing anything wrong, but you're not actively doing right either, Dawnstar. If it was Willow that was dallying about, I'd let you go chew him out because he'd probably deserve it, but take a minute to think about who we're speaking of here. Teardrop? The sweet little mare who never wishes to upset anyone? Think about it and tell me: Can you truly imagine her being one to simply lie about and not care about what is expected of her?"

Dawnstar took a few deep breaths as she thought of the pony in question, chewing on her cheek as she did her best to quell her anger, and shook her head. "She's a pony-pleaser. She wouldn't try to do anything that would make somepony else upset, huh?" Her eyes turned up to me questioningly, wondering if I knew what was wrong, but she only got a shrug out of me. "So we just accept that she's not going to work then? I'm having trouble following you here, Mr. Prodder. Something has to be done, but I can't confront her on it?"

"I understand your concern, and you're right: Something needs to be done. Perhaps going in and reprimanding her is not the right choice just yet. What do you think?" I lead her with my words, stepping close as I was prepared to embark with her to her choice destination.

"I suppose I can't make a decision without more insight into the situation. Alright, I believe I will be going to speak with Teardrop then and find out why she feels the need to miss work recently. Is that the answer you were looking for?"

"It may be, it may not be, but I think it is much sounder than your original choice. Shall we?" I have to be careful to not give her the answers, as I would prefer it if she felt that she came to these conclusions herself. I am just trying to do what I can to force her to stop and truly consider alternate scenarios instead of charging in with only her assumptions.

Is that what I was like when I first got to Songring? I feel sorry for the original seven ponies if that's the case.

Either way, when we went to visit Teardrop, we discovered that she had been spending most of her time in her room as of late. Julienne Spice was our top lead, as she had told us that she had seen the frail pony fairly often recently.

"Ah... The little one? The little aqua mademoiselle? Yes, I have seen her in my kitchen. She keeps asking for sweets. Ice cream, chocolate, pudding... Oh merde, she must be upset!" Julienne quickly looked around her kitchen and went to pull her baking utensils away from the fire. After covering up some of her current work, she prepared to leave until I stopped her and told her it would be alright. Ashamed that she had not thought of what might be happening sooner, she asked the both of us to see to Teardrop and make sure that she was alright. I was a bit confused by this, but Dawnstar seemed to understand the relevance of consumption of sweets being synonymous with being upset.

They told me that I just wouldn't understand. (Considering how the visit to Teardrop's went, perhaps they were right.)

We found Teardrop hidden away in her room. When we first arrived, the door was closed and we did not hear any sounds from within. Dawnstar opened the door as we let ourselves in. I couldn't resist looking around, as that was the first time I had seen the little artistic pony's room. The walls were engraved with fantastic images that were highlighted with bright paints. Small pieces of sculptures were scattered around the room, and figurines rested on small shelves above her bed and on a wooden chest that she must keep her belongings in. There were drawings and paintings of all kinds pinned up, lying on the floor, taped to the ceiling, and seemingly everywhere else there was available space. Her quilt looked hand stitched, and was made of fabrics I could swear I had seen before (most likely from Bullion's caravan). It was all the more notable considering the small lump rising from the middle of it. Dawnstar gently peeled back the covering to reveal Teardrop curled around a bowl that had once held some form of dessert in it. (Perhaps pie, considering the bit of whipped cream still visible.)

As the light invaded her little sanctuary beneath the covers, Teardrop whimpered and eased away from the cool air that must have rushed to meet her. When she spotted us, I saw her eyes fall on me and she immediately cringed, sinking further back in the bed to try to gain distance from me. "Oh no... you're mad at me, aren't you?" Silently I shook my head, but my refusal was not quite enough to keep her breath from quickening in fear as my sight came to rest upon her. "I'm sorry, Mr. Overseer, please don't be mad... I just... I'll go back to work, I'm sorry."

"Teardrop, I'm not here to ask anything of you. I'm just accompanying Dawnstar. She wished to ask you a couple of questions, that's all." I wanted to sit down on the bed, pet the creature's head a bit, and ask her what had her so upset, especially when she seemed so panicked to see me standing over her. I still don't understand why she treats me this way, and why when she's upset, I only seem to make her more so. It was then that Dawnstar suggested I step back and let her handle it.

"Teardrop, you've been absent from work quite a bit recently. Can you explain yourself?"

Squirt.

I could have sworn by the furious set of her brow that Dawnstar might actually have thought about attacking me, or at least wrenching the squirt bottle from my hand. Looking back at the confused Teardrop, however, she sighed, releasing her frustration, and tried again. "I mean to ask if you need anything."

Squirt.

Excusing herself briefly, Dawnstar marched back to where I rested with my back against the wall and pressed her forehead to mine angrily, nearly poking me with her horn. "What? What, what, what?" She tried to keep her voice down though she was infuriated. "Teardrop's upset, and you're making this like some kind of damn joke? Are you just using that thing to get your kicks now?"

"No, you were starting to coddle, and that's a completely new problem. You're almost there, though. Objective, but open. Can you do that?"

"If you squirt me with that thing again, Mr. Prodder..."

"I'll do my best if you will."

Third try is the charm. Dawnstar stepped back over to Teardrop's bed and rested herself upon it, tail slung around her hooves as she cocked her head and asked, "I just want to know if something's wrong, Teardrop. Is there a reason you're not going to work that I can help with?"

Teardrop shook her head, still eying me uncertainly. Each time her gaze would fall on me, I would simply point to Dawnstar to let her know that I was not in charge there. "No... I'm just... I can't go back to work because of him."

"Who? Mr. Prodder?"

I had to bite my tongue to keep from protesting, but Teardrop explained before I worked myself up into an outburst. "Onyx... I can't work with him anymore. Not after what I said, not after what happened. I just can't bear to face him again..." I saw Dawnstar's hoof reach out to touch the smaller pony's leg and try to keep her from hiding her face from us again, quietly asking her to explain. "He's... he's not... interested." She did her best to hush a sob, curling tighter around the empty bowl. "He likes stallions... I'm such an idiot... I should have known better, and now he probably just thinks I'm an idiot."

"Is that all that has you upset?" Dawnstar asked, before looking at me and motioning for me to wait a moment before I pulled the trigger on my squirt bottle. She knew I wouldn't approve of that question, but it seems I was jumping the gun. "Teardrop, sometimes these things happen. It's not the end of the world. He is probably flattered that you felt that way about him, but he just has a different orientation. That's no reason to have to avoid him, is it?"

"I just thought... I just thought with how nice he was to me, that maybe he thought I was worth loving. I guess things never do change. I'll always be unlovable."

The two of us looked at eachother then, equally befuddled by such an answer. I shrugged, as this was beyond my own scope of understanding. Even now, I can still only see the irrationality of these words, so I would have been hard pressed to say anything at that moment. Dawnstar struggled too, looking to me a few times more for an answer that I just could not give. "You think that just because he's not interested in being with you, that makes you unlovable? Please look at this realistically, Teardrop; his rejection has nothing to do with you. It's just his tastes."

"Why won't anypony love me though? If he was just doing it to be kind... I just don't know why nopony will love me."

"The only way nopony could love you is if you don't love yourself." I was shocked to hear this come from Dawnstar, watching her brow set sternly as she reached out to hold Teardrop's chin up with her hoof, forcing the morose pony to look her in the eyes. "It's the only way that others can. If you can't love who you are, knowing your own true worth and being closer to yourself than anypony else possibly could be... then who else could stand a chance?" Lowering her head, Dawnstar took a deep breath to steady herself. "Nopony loves me here either, Teardrop. Have you looked around? Nopony even likes me... They'd be much happier if I was gone. Am I worthless? Am I not lovable then?"

The sweet creature in the bed was not able to answer her at first, looking over Dawnstar and shaking her head. "No... you're smart, and beautiful, and going to be something great someday. You're not unlovable, Ms. Dawnstar."

"Yet everypony here already likes you more than me. If I'm not unlovable... then how are you? Come on, Teardrop, how about I come with you back to the jeweler's studio. Onyx Culet has been worried about you, as everypony who cares about you is. Would that help?"

The little aqua-colored pony nodded, trying her best to crack a smile but still finding it hard to breathe through her constricted throat. Looking to me for dismissal, I nodded at Teardrop and made a gentle motion to the door, quietly letting her know that I did not mind at all. Drying the earth pony's face with the quilt, Dawnstar helped her to her hooves and stepped ahead to lead the way.

Correct the syndrome, and the symptom will resolve itself.

You're one step closer, Dawnstar. One step closer.

I will need to try to get some sleep soon. The herbs that I sampled from the zebra caravan have been leading to very peculiar dreams recently, and have left me fatigued during the day due to a lack of restful sleep. Some are uncomfortably vivid, and pertain to subjects that I find upsetting, causing me to wake up in the middle of the night. "They will enlighten one's spirit," they claimed. How does having a dream about watching a man, hauntingly similar in appearance to my father, get his leg torn off by some form of plant monster possibly enlighten my spirit?

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