RECORDING 1: OVERCAST

BENJAMEN: Alright, could you please tell me what your name is?
OVERCAST: Overcast. But everypony calls me whatever they want: Mumbles... Drizzle... Mopey...
BENJAMEN: Overcast it is then. For the record, Overcast is an Earth Pony with a charcoal grey pelt, and a mane striped with the colors blue and white.
OVERCAST: Blue and white are beautiful colors. No... mine's off-white and azure.
BENJAMEN: Azure and Pearl then.
OVERCAST: You make it sound a lot prettier than it is... Who are you speaking to, Mr. Prodder?
BENJAMEN: This is being recorded so that I can review it later and memorize who each pony is.
OVERCAST: Hello Mr. Prodder... this is me from the past. Wanted to remind you my name is Overcast, because you'll probably have forgotten by the time you hear this again.
BENJAMEN: ...O-Kay then. Overcast, could you tell me what your profession is?
OVERCAST: I'm not really that good at anything, Mr. Prodder.
BENJAMEN: Come on now.. You've got to be good at something. You have your cutie mark, don't you?
OVERCAST: It's a cloud, Mr. Prodder.
BENJAMEN: ... So, you're a weather pony?
OVERCAST: I wanted to grow up to be a weather pony, but then I learned that only pegasus get to grow up to be those. No, I'm stuck on the ground forever. With the rocks.
BENJAMEN: Maybe you could embrace that fact? Make it something to be proud of?
OVERCAST: I guess I could try. I do get bored and make some things out of rocks sometimes.
BENJAMEN: Stoneworking then. Is that okay with you if I consider you a mason or a stonecrafter?
OVERCAST: I won't argue with you, Mr. Prodder. You probably already know a lot more than me, so I'll trust your decision on what to do with me.
BENJAMEN: ... Masonry it is. Thank you for your time, Overcast.
OVERCAST: I don't do anything important with it anyways. You don't have to thank me.
BENJAMEN: You can call me Benjamen, by the way, if it makes you more comfortable.
OVERCAST: Alright, Mr. Benjamen Prodder.

RECORDING 2: TEARDROP

BENJAMEN: Good afternoon. Could you please go ahead and tell me your name?
TEARDROP: <Mumbling>
BENJAMEN: Pardon? I'm afraid you'll have to speak up a bit.
TEARDROP: I'm sorry...
BENJAMEN: No need to be sorry, just need you to project a bit more for the recording so it can catch your name.
TEARDROP: R-recording? Oh... I'm being recorded? Who's going to be listening to it?
BENJAMEN: Just myself. I'm recording this conversation for review later so I can memorize everyone here. Just go ahead and say your name.
TEARDROP: I'm... I am... I... <Sigh> I'm too nervous now. I've never been recorded before. You're going to laugh at me when you listen to it again and I'm not here.
BENJAMEN: I promise I won't, and don't worry, this isn't a test or anything. Go ahead and say your name. Please?
TEARDROP: I'm... Teardrop.
BENJAMEN: Teardrop. For the record, Teardrop is an Earth Pony with a blue pelt and a blue and white striped mane braided back tightly. She also has a cutie mark in the form of a cut gemstone.
TEARDROP: No! Oh no... Now they're all going to know what I look like. I'm so embarrassed... I probably sound so stupid right now, being afraid of being recorded... Like a foal...
BENJAMEN: What? No, this is just for me so I can put a face with the name. I'm giving a vague physical description to help my memory. Now, can you tell me what your particular skills are?
TEARDROP: I'm a jeweler.
BENJAMEN: A... jeweler? They sent a jeweler on a settling expedition?
TEARDROP: Are you going to send me back home because I'm not useful?
BENJAMEN: No, I'm a little-
TEARDROP: You're not mad at me, are you? I can do something else... I, I can learn to do something else, I promise, if you just give me a chance!
BENJAMEN: I'll give you a chance! Don't worry! I just am shocked that they decided to hire a jeweler for this kind of work. You're fine; we'll find some work for you, as long as you're willing to help.
TEARDROP: Yes, Mr. Prodder. I really want to help, I just don't know how.
BENJAMEN: Don't worry, Teardrop, we'll think of something. Thank you for your time: Maybe you can start by seeing if Willow or Maple needs any help with their... enterprise?
TEARDROP: I will, Mr. Prodder, thank you so much.
BENJAMEN: You can call me Benjamen, by the way.
TEARDROP: I will, Benjamen. Again, thank you, I really appreciate you going easy on me.
BENJAMEN: Uhm, of course. Good evening.

RECORDING 3: SPRINGFIELD

BENJAMEN: Good afternoon, sir. Could you please start with your name?
SPRINGFIELD: You c'n call me Springfield.
BENJAMEN: For the record, Springfield is a broad Clydesdale Earth Pony with a lilac colored coat and a blue and white striped mane. His cutie mark looks to be a sprout of sorts. I’m noticing that your mane coloration is fairly common in this group: Is this by chance a cultural thing where you're from?
SPRINGFIELD: No, we're from the Sun of Chance like you.
BENJAMEN: So... it's just coincidence that three ponies so far have had the same hair color?
SPRINGFIELD: It's just luck of the draw.
BENJAMEN: So, yes. Alright, could you please tell me what your profession is?
SPRINGFIELD: Farmer.
BENJAMEN: Well, that was easy. A farmer pony named Springfield.
SPRINGFIELD: Ya mind me askin' why you're repeatin' everything I say?
BENJAMEN: My apologies, I am recording this interview.
SPRINGFIELD: For what?
BENJAMEN: Myself.
SPRINGFIELD: Yer real strange sometimes, y'know that?
BENJAMEN: Yes, I get told that fairly often. Mostly because of what I am though.
SPRINGFIELD: What are you anyways?
BENJAMEN: I am a human.
SPRINGFIELD: <Cough>
BENJAMEN: Don't worry, I don't eat ponies, and I'm not poisonous, nor do I seek to end the world as you know it. I also do not project waves into your brain that cause mind control or a wish to spill more blood for the blood god.
SPRINGFIELD: <Grunt>
BENJAMEN: I've heard a lot of theories so far.
SPRINGFIELD: Uh... yeah. I'm gonna go ahead an' take m'leave then, Mr. Prodder.
BENJAMEN: Thank you for your time, Springfield.

RECORDING 4: MAPLELEAF

BENJAMEN: Good evening. Could you please-
MAPLE: <Belch>
BENJAMEN: Could you please tell me your name?
MAPLE: Mapleleaf.
BENJAMEN: I believe with the reaction I received from the other ponies, I should state that-
MAPLE: <Belch>
BENJAMEN: Please stop that; I should warn you that this is being recorded for my personal use later.
MAPLE: Ah, crap. You're one of those kinds of colts?
BENJAMEN: I'm afraid I don't follow.
MAPLE: I guess you've got a thing for my voice then, huh? Does it get you your jollies? Fine, whatever, I don't really care or anything. Ask your questions, but I'm not going to make any moans or screams for you.
BENJAMEN: I suppose you do have a nice voice, but I'm going to be using this recording to help me memorize each of the ponies here.
MAPLE: Suuuure you are.
BENJAMEN: Moving on. For the record, Mapleleaf is a cardinal red Pegasus with a green and yellow striped mane tied back into a loose ponytail. She has the cutie mark of a maple tree in autumn.
MAPLE: Yeah, get a nice look while you're at it. Paint the image real good for when you listen to this alone tonight.
BENJAMEN: Stop that. No, Maple – please stop – Don't come any closer; I can see your cutie mark just fine from here, really. This isn't necessary. Just, stop it! I understand you've already landed face-first in a whiskey keg, but for goodness' sake, get a hold of yourself!
MAPLE: Pfft... Bad enough that you're a creep, but now you're scared to admit it. Fine, whatever. Least you can do is be proud of your kinks.
BENJAMEN: Can you please just tell me where your skills lie?
MAPLE: Drinking.
BENJAMEN: I meant profession.
MAPLE: Drinking.
BENJAMEN: You're a professional alcoholic then.
MAPLE: No, I'm a lumberjack.
BENJAMEN: Then that's the answer I was looking for! <Sigh> Good, now that all of that's out of the way, thank you for your time. Now you can get back to your keg and send in the next pony.
MAPLE: What? Not going to ask for a goodbye kiss?
BENJAMEN: Just get out.

RECORDING 5: WILLOW

BENJAMEN: Good evening, I-
WILLOW: What's that supposed to mean?
BENJAMEN: It's a greeting. I just wished that your evening go well for you. That's all it meant.
WILLOW: Okay... cool... let's keep it that way then.
BENJAMEN: Riiiiiight, anyways, could you please tell me your name?
WILLOW: You saying you don't know? Am I not notable enough?
BENJAMEN: Forgive me for being new here. It would help me out a lot if you could just tell me your name.
WILLOW: You can call me Willow. Mr. Willow.
BENJAMEN: Mr. Willow then. For the record, Mr. Willow is-
WILLOW: Whoa, whoa, hold up, who are you talking to?
BENJAMEN: Myself. I'm recording this with a few notes so that I can use it to memorize the ponies here.
WILLOW: Nuh-uh, you didn't say you were going to do that. Erase it.
BENJAMEN: I- I can't just erase it. It's in my head right now.
WILLOW: Don't be smart with me; I know what you're up to. You're actually some sort of spy, right? Going to mix around my words to make it sound like I said something I didn't mean? Yeah? Well, here's two words you can mix: Eat me!
BENJAMEN: Are you done, Mr. Willow?
WILLOW: Hardly.
BENJAMEN: Well, if you don't mind pausing for a moment, I wish to note that Mr. Willow is a brown Earth Pony with braided white hair, and the cutie mark of a... what would you call that, Mr. Willow?
WILLOW: My ass.
BENJAMEN: Oh, ha ha. Very amusing. I mean the picture.
WILLOW: What's it look like to you, smart guy?
BENJAMEN: A mahogany desk.
WILLOW: Nah, stupid, it's a... yeah, it's a desk. I guess mahogany. I always thought it more of a sedona.
BENJAMEN: Does this mean you're a woodworker?
WILLOW: I don’t' swing that way.
BENJAMEN: Carpenter! You must be a carpenter then, right?!
WILLOW: Whoa! Cool it! Yeah, geez, I'm a carpenter.
BENJAMEN: Fantastic! Now that all of this is out of the way, thank you for your time, Mr. Willow. Now, please send in the next pony!
WILLOW: Yes sir, Mr. Prodder.

RECORDING 6: SALMON

BENJAMEN: Good-
SALMON: Good evening, lad! Wonderful to finally get a one-on-one with you! A mano-a-mano if you will!
BENJAMEN: That means hand-to-hand.
SALMON: Yes, well, let's have a shake then! Aha!
BENJAMEN: Alright. Could you please tell me your name?
SALMON: Well, it's rather long and complicated, m'dear... human? Yes, Springfield said you were a human. Well, human lad, you can call me Salmon! Easy to remember, rolls off the tongue, and makes me feel delicious.
BENJAMEN: Salmon it is then. For the record, Salmon is a dark pink Pegasus with auburn hair tied back behind his head. He is also somewhat...
SALMON: Oh, no, don't mind me, chap. I feel flattered!
BENJAMEN: Jolly?
SALMON: Oh ho, I am quite jolly, yes, thank you.
BENJAMEN: Jolly will suffice then. Now, Salmon, could you please tell me your profession.
SALMON: Angler, of course.
BENJAMEN: I'm going to assume you don't mean that you're an architect or master of geometry, but instead that you mean fishing?
SALMON: Bah hah! Yes, Angling as in that I am a master fisherpony.
BENJAMEN: Wonderful! I can see why you were assigned to a settlement on the seaside then. Well, we should be able to make use of that skill rather soon. Thank you for your time, Salmon.
SALMON: Not a problem at all! Oh, by the way, why are you trying to butter me up with all these nice words?
BENJAMEN: I'm recording this so I can use it to help memorize everyone here in the settlement.
SALMON: Ah, and for a moment, I thought you were just trying to get on my good side.
BENJAMEN: Well, I would like to be, actually. If you're not opposed to a human that is.
SALMON: Bah, it's fine. You're already on my good side. The front side that is, hah! Anyways, I shall leave you to your notebook then.
BENJAMEN: Oh, could you please send in the next pony on your way out? Thank you, Salmon.
SALMON: Right-o!

RECORDING 7: STONESILENCE

BENJAMEN: Good evening. I'm Benjamen Prodder, as you might have heard me say a while ago. Could you please tell me your name before we begin?
SILENCE: ...
BENJAMEN: It's alright, you can tell me your name. I will warn you that you are being recorded though. It's only for my use: I want to use it to help me memorize each pony here in the settlement.
SILENCE: ...
BENJAMEN: You don't have to be afraid, I promise I don't bite.
SILENCE: ...
BENJAMEN: Is... is there something wrong?
SILENCE: ...
BENJAMEN: Oh crap; you can't talk, can you? She's shaking her head. I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to, well, call you out like that. Really, I- I had no idea. Can you... huh, this is going to make this a bit more complicated. Oh! Here, please, use my notebook and pen. Can you write your name for me? Stone Silence? Huh, that's rather pretty actually. For the record, Stone Silence is a white pelted Unicorn with a golden-blonde mane left swept forward. It also looks like your cutie mark is of... what is that exactly? Oh! I see now! It's a statue. So you must be a stonecrafter too. Miner? Oh, well, that's just as good. You must be familiar with Overcast then? He's the... the dark grey pony. Oh, I see. Well, maybe you should try speak-... uhm, maybe you should try to meet him sometime; He'll be the settlement's mason, so I'm sure you two could be working together fairly often. Thank you for your time, Stone Silence, I appreciate you coming to converse... sorry, uhm, meet with me. Perhaps we can talk- Dammit!- You know what I mean. Good evening.