I'm now a delivery boy.

As it turns out, Applejack figured I could make use of myself moving objects between the farmhouse and the farmhands, as well as moving tools and supplies about the farm for them so that they could spend more time on the jobs that required strength. I could cut down the time they would normally spend transporting objects between places. She also suggested to me that I might want to look into being a letter carrier for the local post office since I was supposedly such a quick and punctual hauler. Heeding her suggestion, I discovered that there was indeed a job opening available for me.

As luck would have it, most of the postal workers happen to be pegasi (I assume that is the plural for pegasus), which means that they can get to places much faster than I can, however, this is only true for letters and lightweight mail. Weighty or cumbersome packages make it nearly impossible for most to fly while transporting them, so they must make many trips to get all of the packages handled in a day. This is where I may come in handy since I can pull a cart with all of the packages in it behind me to each of the addresses and the letter carriers can focus on their usual mail routes.

The local postal service also does not seem to have a problem with hiring the strange or disabled, since I met one of the letter carriers today. She has two lazy eyes. I swear that I am writing the truth: She’s cross eyed. The creature is of a very sweet demeanor, but I doubt she even knows what I look like since I don't think either of her eyes ever glanced me over specifically. I'm sure that if she can hold down this job then I will do just fine. The postmaster is a bit gruff overall, and I feel he might not like me all that much (to quote him: "Yeah, fine, I'll hire you. Don't tamper with the mail, and don't stick around one place too long. Tampering with the mail is a crime. Standing around too long is bad because you're ugly as sin."). At least this whole experience should be helpful in getting to know a few more residents in this place.

Today being my first day on the job, I regrettably got sidetracked during my route. It started when I saw that someone had sent a package to Fluttershy (the yellow horse that had rescued me from the forest when I first arrived here) and learned that she is located notably farther away from Ponyville than my other destinations. I had set her delivery down to be my last for the sake of time management. I did not look to see what the package was because tampering with the mail is a crime, as I stated above, and I would not risk my neck for curiosities sake (not again after that parchment back in the dilapidated library).

Fluttershy was not home at the time that I found my way back through the dense forestry to her cottage. Not knowing this, I had strolled up to the door and ogled the package for a bit in wonder of what exactly someone might have been sending her. Before I got the inkling to take a peek, I slammed my hand against the door a few times to call for her. As the lock jostled and the handle began to rattle as someone struggled on the other side, I had expected to see at any moment the soft pink swoopy hair and yellow pelt of the meek pegasus. I cannot put down in words how shocked I was when instead the door swung open and all I saw standing across the archway from me was a rat. A white rat that looked up to me casually at first and then stiffened in terror.

I knew that rat. It sure as hell knew me by the way I watched it dart away as though a gunshot were fired and dive back into the safety of the cottage away from me. I cannot recall what exactly was going through my head at that moment, just that I remember my face burning red and a terrible wrenching, heated sensation in my chest demanded that I let the package drop to the ground and sprint into the cottage in pursuit.

I was barely able to follow the small flash of a pink, scaly tail as it zipped around the doorpost that led to a kitchen deep within the room. Following it as my only lead, the room was unsurprisingly bare of a rodent when I came to a sliding halt at the expense of losing my footing and bashed into a dinner table that I overturned and broke its leg. Better its than mine, I figured, as I took up the search to uncover just where that beast had gone to. Wooden countertops rested lined up against one wall, with doors hiding cabinet space beneath them and pantries suspended up above them for additional room. Swinging open the doors proved useless as there was too much clutter in the way: Food, cleaning supplies, containers, and just excessive amounts of domestic crap that obscured my vision of my target. There was simply no time for me to consider clean rearrangement of the items, so I cupped my hands inside each of the pantries/cabinets and yanked with all of my might to scatter their contents and free my line of sight. One cabinet after another was emptied uselessly, until finally I threw aside sacks of flour and sugar residing in one and saw a flicker of white leap from this final storage and run back towards the living room.

The creature led me up the stairs to scramble into the bedroom I had seen once before, immediately taking refuge under the bed. I would not let something as simple as a mattress get the best of me, however, and with a great heave I flipped the light wooden bed frame over to get a look at the panting rodent before it skittered just out of my grasp towards the dresser. Dismantling that was as simple as yanking the drawers out and tossing them to the overturned bed in order to reach my hands into the framework. Sadly my reaction time is just not what it should be, and the creature was able to escape between my legs and head for the window nearby. At least my feet were faster as I dived for the window and let my weight slam it shut right before the beast could escape, leaving behind a jagged crack in the glass. If only I had waited a few more moments, I could have caught the little bastard in the window and have been done with this ridiculous game of cat and mouse.

Down the hallway again it climbed atop a grandfather clock to avoid me. Without hesitation, I slammed my shoulder full-force against the timepiece and sent it to the floor with a crash so that the rat tumbled down the stairs into a staggered heap and had to pick itself up. I made it within range right as it bounded up the shelves of a bookcase that I then tried to climb up as well. My weight was not very helpful in this, and the shelves gave out beneath my feet, sending me tumbling across the floor; avoiding being slammed beneath the toppling, heavy bookshelf. After the creature whisked away beneath the sofa, which I easily just threw on its back to unveil the critter once again, it finally made its fatal mistake. I glimpsed a pink tail slip inside of a vase positioned on the brick fireplace at the side of the room. Before it could retract its mistake, I yanked up the pot and held it firmly between my hands with the open end secured shut. There was something so rewarding and therapeutic for me to hear the repeated clangs and thumps of the creature as I violently shook the container in my grasp before raising it high to smash against the floor. Dazed and helpless, the creature gave no struggle as I went to grasp it in my hands and finally look it in the eyes.

"I finally have you, you little monster! You did this to me! Put me here! Put me through all of this hell! For what? A sick joke? Some kind of prank?"

I obviously had lost my mind at the moment as I joggled the rat with my hands and continued to shout at it. "Answer me! What was all of this for!?" I thought if it was smart enough to dupe me once, then it must be smart enough to give me an answer.

"Stop!"

The stern voice came from the door that had been swung open behind me, and to which I turned around and saw she who I was supposed to deliver the package to. Fluttershy was standing at the entrance with a look that I cannot decide as to whether she was mortified or furious, most likely both.

With the little bastard in my tight grasp, I looked around for a moment to see just what carnage had befallen our game. Paintings and pictures fallen and bashed, toppled and tattered furniture, shards of glass and ceramic around my feet and all over the floor, cloth and decorations strewn about, and a few bits of wood that were still where I had let them fall after brutishly dismantling some of the weaker hiding spots my prey had taken refuge in.

The house was a disaster.

"Put it down," Fluttershy instructed me as she continued to burn holes into me with her stare.

"This little creep is the reason that I-"

"Put it down."

"It's this thing's fault that I'm even-"

"Let her go. Now!"

The silence dragged on between us, my mouth still open as I tried to think of a way to get her to understand the importance of letting me murder this creature with my bare hands. There were just no words she was going to accept. Something in her gaze tugged at the depths of my chest though. I will state that I soon became terrified in the same way the rat had when I was standing behind the door it opened.

"Benjamen!"

As she called my name one last time, I let go of the beast and let it touch the ground. It caught its breath for only a few moments before bouncing out of the room hurriedly between Fluttershy's hooves. This left only the two of us still staring each other down, her heated gaze set on my bothered eyes.

I eventually broke our connecting sights to look around the room once again, the fury that had welled up inside me having evaporated. In my aggression, I had ruined this house. I've never known myself to do things like this, but for some reason thinking about how that monster must be laughing at my misfortune as I struggle each day here while I should be looking for my father, it just makes my blood boil. At that moment, however, I could only look at her and shake my head. I didn't know what to say.

She must not have known what to say either as she glanced about and pulled the package by the door close to her to begin opening it. Inside was something else butterfly related and made of yarn. I think this was a pair of mittens or socks, or something that was meant to be worn over the hooves at night.

While she was examining them, all I could do was slump down into a seated position on the floor and grasp my head in my hands. "I'm sorry," I eventually muttered out helplessly as I felt my breaths become more difficult and started to heave involuntarily. "I ruined everything, I'm so sorry," I muttered a few more times, unable to conjure up any way to defend my actions.

I felt her hoof rest on my shoulder before she pulled me so that my face rested against her neck and she could hush me quietly. "You'll be okay," she told me, brushing down my hair with one of her front legs. "It's over now." She was comforting me? After everything I had done. She had just watched me try to choke the life out of a defenseless creature and I had absolutely wrecked her home. She was holding me close and comforting me. I still can't understand. I cannot understand not only how she was able to keep from being furious with me, but also that she could be so kind to someone who had just wrecked her home.

It must have been a long time since I last had anyone brush my hair and tell me things would be alright. I broke down there on the floor because of it. Even as alien as the sensation of such attention was to me, there was something so comforting and familiar about the way she felt. The only thing I can relate it to was that it felt like I had my head resting against the warm and soft fleece of a childhood blanket when she held me close, the bristles of her fur fine and silky like expensive fabric.

"You're not a bad human," She assured me, "You just let your feelings get the better of you, didn't you?" I struggled for a nod to answer her before she continued. "We'll just clean up and it'll all be better, okay? Maybe then you can tell me what the little rat did to make you so upset."

"You're really not going to have me arrested or punished for this?"

"You didn't mean to do it, did you? It was just an accident. Most importantly, you're sorry that you did it, right?"

I would not say that it was an accident, more so it was an oversight on my part that I let her belongings get damaged while in a rampage. Instead of correcting her though, I nodded to her mostly to agree that I did regret doing it.

I spent the rest of the evening putting furniture back upright. I went back to Sweet Apple Acres to collect some wood and tools to begin repairing the cupboards in the kitchen and other furnishings that had been damaged, as well as cleaning up the messes that were left around. Fluttershy has long since gone to sleep before I started writing this, but I doubt I will get any myself. I am still exploring the internal workings of her standing clock in hopes of getting it working again.

Everything is so different here. If I had repeated these actions back on Terriel, there is no doubt that I would be sitting in a holding cell right now. Instead, I am taking a break from actually repairing the damage I caused. As much as I find myself believing that all of these differences here are for the worse, this is starting to open my eyes. Maybe things are not as bad here as I originally thought.

I will attempt to explain to Fluttershy tomorrow what the rat did to me, but I do not think it will really matter. It might just be because I am emotionally drained after today, but I feel that I do not much care either what it did to make me so angry.

A string quartet is playing on my CCMI the song known as "Dawn". I wonder if this means something.

I came back once again to write that it must not mean anything, because my CCMI followed up the touching musical accompaniment with "I'm an Assman." Damnit. Just damnit.