The Love of Princess Nightmare Moon

Part 1: Toxic Love

Nightmare Moon sat frowning on her throne. The time was precisely one in the morning, the start of the new day. Her sister Celestia was not due to take over royal duties until dawn, which was usually around five or six. Pondering over a book that was much older than she had the right to be, she looked up. “Scribe.” She said with a pensive look. A mare with a quill and paper on her flank snapped from her doze. “Make note, I am nullifying another outdated law.”

“Another one?” said Quick Quill, cocking her head. At her majesty’s angry look, she quickly whipped out quill and paper and stopped asking questions. “I-I-I mean, of course your majesty! Which one are we getting rid of toda… er, tonight?” she paused, quill poised to do the night goddess’ bidding.

“According to this text, it is recommended that a pony who refuses tribute during the harvest season may, under the right circumstances, be sentenced to death by catapult.” Nightmare Moon said mildly. She snickered a little after saying that, though. She couldn’t help it. She quickly regained her composure, however, and went on. “While I find it hilarious to bind and launch such a simpering fool to his death, the death penalty has not been in effect in Equestria for the past three hundred and seventeen years.” The black alicorn turned the book over and showed it to her scribe. “Make note of this law’s binding number, and send a message to parliament to assure it is nullified.”

“Yes your majesty.” Quick Quill scribbled the long, complex number down and rolled the parchment up. She used magic to levitate it down the dais to a squire, and the young colt took off at a gallop, ever the eager messenger. “That makes thirty-three laws this week, you’re on a roll!”

“I am sure any budding law student will sing my praises.” Nightmare nodded in a dull way, reaching for another tome on the stack next to her. The poor night goddess was bored out of her skull. Appointments and audiences were rare for the Midnight Court, so she’d taken to slimming out the law books. In a nation as old as Equestria, there was some tidying to be done when it came to laws and regulations. Some simply didn’t apply anymore, some were obsolete, and others were simply too specific to mean anything after so long. Often times the black alicorn would flip through a random tome, read until she found something that no longer applied, and had it nullified. It was, technically, about ten times harder to get rid of a law than it was to create one—but Nightmare had yet to see a pony with the stones firm enough to tell her no, she could not get rid of this or that if it pleased her.

“How about this one, your Majesty? It says that a stallion may beat his wife on the steps of the town hall— as long as he has her permission?” Quick Quill said it like a question, furrowing her brow over a book in her hooves. “That doesn’t make any sense.”

The bait was too perfect. The regal frown melted and the black mare hunched a bit on her throne. Luna, way up in the sky, rolled her proverbial eyes. Herrrrre we go. Nightmare’s jowls lifted, showing off the rows of fierce-looking teeth. Her honest smiles were, frankly, teirrfying. “Some mares enjoy being spanked.” Nightmare said with a laugh. Quick Quill looked up, face turning scarlet. “In public as well, I would not deny such forward foreplay, my scribe.” She chuckled behind her hoof, and the sound rolled about the room.

A couple of the guards shivered, but more than one of him had a smirk on his face. Their new night time princess was a strange one, very much Celestia’s opposite. She was not above lewd jokes, fine wines, participating in festivals, and eyeballing stallions that pleased her. A newspaper had called her the ‘Party Princess’ for a time, and she’d been interviewed by Play Stallion on the ‘Official Royal Word on What a Stallion Should be Doing for His Mare in the Bedroom.’ ((“If she doth not get hers, thou shalt not be getting any—and shame upon thy male bits for seven generations!” Stallions the country-over had scrambled for self-help books and conversed fiercely over improving their love lives after that.))

But, it was not all fun and games either. She was a brilliant mathematician. As such, she’d streamlined Equestria’s tax laws and regulations by 17% in only a few months, and then balanced the royal budget to such an extent that Celestia had handed royal money matters to her entirely. Nightmare Moon took her royal duties very seriously. She may have been out of touch with the modern culture, but there were things that didn’t change no matter the era. Things like money, wine, sex, starry skies and certain sorts of etiquette. While she’d only been back from the moon for perhaps nine months, she’d not sat idle and done nothing. She was busy-busy-busy as soon as she could get her hooves on a project. Partially to ease the burden from Celestia, partially to endear herself to the modern ponies around her, and partially— well, to get into Nurse Bandaid’s bed.

Nurse Bandaid had nursed her back to health, saved her from being changeling food, and had really shown her what was expected of her on a personal level. They’d been through much together, and the few months of calm had allowed them to become something like friends. By law she could not publically pursue him in the romantic sense because he was her medical hoofservant, but that didn’t keep her from counting the seconds until he wasn’t. That would not have stopped her centuries ago, but as a goddess of lust and a learning pony, she knew she would have to wait. Absence made the heart grow fonder, after all. The moment the three-month mark had been reached, he was all hers. She’d been released from medical attention 89 days ago, and she need merely wait one more day. She had contained her excitement by diving into tax laws and other boring things, but it didn’t keep the back of her head from tingling with excitement.

By the time the clock struck 2:30am, Nightmare was quite finished sorting out expired tax laws and eyeballing contracts on ancient parchment. “We declare this Midnight Court adjourned!” she stamped a hoof twice. “Rise tomorrow evening groomed and ready to serve thy nation again!” the black alicorn bade them, rising from her throne. “Quick Quill, with me.” She said in a softer voice. The mare followed eagerly, pen and parchment hovering in front of her as they went. “Send flowers to Lt. Steel Wing’s wife, her foal is due soon. Also, make certain that parliament strikes their tax meeting from tomorrow’s schedule, I have already done all the math for them.” They rounded the corner, heading towards the solar side of the palace and out of the lunar one. Though the throne room was in the middle of the castle, Nightmare considered most of it her sister’s territory still. “The griffon ambassador will be arriving in a few months, make sure the highest room in the tallest tower is set up for him to nest in properly.” She was going down a grocery list of things as they walked, and Quick Quill scratched down each one as they went. Nightmare liked her because she could write as fast as anypony could speak, and she never had to pause to wait for her to catch up.

“Anything else, Princess Nightmare?” Quick Quill asked eagerly. Her intelligent eyes flicked up at her goddess, quill pausing.

“That is all. You may leave us. Good morrow, my scribe.” Nightmare nodded regally. The mare bowed and dismissed herself, leaving Nightmare Moon alone with the pair of guards that usually followed her around these days. “Come, I make for my sister’s chambers.” She told them. They nodded silently, ever-frowning and quiet. Nightmare found them boring, compared to the twins. They’d eloped with their beloveds, though, so she bore them no grudges. Didn’t make their replacements any more interesting, though. Sigh.

=-----=-----=-----=-----=

Celestia awoke with soft, affectionate lips on her own. She purred quietly, turning on her side with a deep breath of waking. Nightmare lay in the bed next to her, smiling lovingly. “Mhh, Nightie.” The milky goddess whispered, slowly lifting her head. “What time—?”

“Still time to sleep. I could not resist thy pouty lips, forgive me.” Nightmare Moon raised a great black wing, silently asking Luna to hide behind some clouds. She pressed her sister’s head gently back to her pillows. The moon bashfully obeyed, not wanting to wake the sun goddess with bright moonlight. The black alicorn tucked her sister’s head under her wing, enveloping her in warm darkness. “Oh Tia…” she tucked her head like a swan’s under her wing, resting her chin atop Celestia’s head.

Celestia murred quietly, her hooves extending until the pair of them were entangled to share body heat. The dawn was not for a few more hours. She could slip into quiet dreams of cake and handsome stallions for a short time longer. Her lashes fluttered shut after a moment, and she curled into the warmth instinctively. Nightmare didn’t often visit her bed, but it was always a warm and loving experience. A goddess of the night knew precisely how to spur on the deepest and most restful sleep.

Humming a lullaby older than written history, Nightmare Moon removed her helm, regalia and horse shoes to lay naked with her sibling. Creatures as ancient as they did not know the embarrassment of nudity, sibling affection, or even sharing a bed with one’s sister. It was a purer, un-bashful love that let them share each other like two perfectly intertwined swans. Princess Nightmare said no more, heaving a deep sigh and settling to nap with Celestia until she had to raise the sun in a few more hours. Their private time was precious, warm, and quiet. They pressed together. Though mere months had passed since Nightmare Moon’s return, it was a drop in the bucket compared to the centuries they’d spent apart. They would make it up to each other, one night at a time.

=-----=-----=-----=-----=

The Changeling hive in the southern badlands was a frenzy of activity as usual. Being bug-like in nature, they didn’t often require sleep. They could sleep, but no-ling would sleep at a time like this. The hive mother was in pain, and they could all feel it. They shared the link with her, and the despairing, itching agony had been shared with them for over three months now. The more changelings that shared it, the less burden it was on the hive mother though, so they all bore a small bit of it to aid her.

Queen Chrysalis had gone to Equestria as soon as she’d heard that Nightmare Moon had returned, and had returned a broken mess with no carapace! A naked changeling was the most fleshy, vulnerable thing imaginable. So, of course, she’d been rushed to healing pods, tenderly cleaned day in and day out, left to rest, given all the best food they could scavenge. But no, the poor hive queen was not healing properly. The singular buck of Celestia’s hooves had made her an invalid.

Chrysalis could not even walk or feed herself with nothing holding the shape of her body firmly. It was misery and hell, rasping out orders and demands as she went. Her hive did her bidding, but she could not stand the pity in her eyes. They would not bring the larva to see her as she was, and her servants would barely meet her eyes. Her pale, spaghetti-like muscle structure quivered whenever she tried to stand— which she barely could. This would not do.

One day, while laying miserably in her mossy bed, she felt it. One of the many hive-watchers felt the quiver of oncoming rain. A rare thunderstorm was about to pass over the hive. Her face lit up. “S-servant!” she rasped. The drone came close and bowed. “Ah, good there you are.” She said blearily. “Chitin-oh, isn’t it?” he nodded, beaming that she knew his name. In a family of four or five million, that was a rare honor. “Get five or six strong changelings, and take my litter outside.”

“O-outside?” he buzzed in surprise, wings lifting him into the air for a moment. Her cocked his head with worry for her. “But hive-mother! The rain will get in your wings and make them sticky!”

“I don’t need the rain, I need the lightning. Do as I say.” She said a little less gently, giving him a mother’s angry look. He wilted a little, but then obeyed. She loved her children, all five million of them, very much—but she did wish they’d stop questioning her every five seconds. Perhaps they’d lost a bit of faith in her, after she’d come home empty-hooved of love? She’d gotten some from a normal, mortal stallion, but she’d promised them alicorn love upon her return from Equestria. The hive had been disappointed, diluting what she’d brought home into normal eating loam and such— but it was like being given tofu after somepony had promised steak. It just wasn’t the same. Chrysalis felt their disappointment, and felt very guilty for it. She sighed, reclining upward a bit when the six changelings appeared to take her outside.

When the emerged from an exit tunnel, she directed them to a nice high hill. The rocky terrain of the badlands was jagged and desert-like, but changelings could fly so it hardly mattered. They set her litter down and helped her wobble to her hooves. “Your majesty?” one of them asked worriedly as she neared the crest of the hill. She wasn’t going to jump off was she?! No… no she’d stopped. She watched the thunderhead approach, listened to its threatening growls and roars. “What should we do? It will rain soon!” the drone begged her to come back inside where it was safe and not wet.

“Retreat to the tunnel entrance. Seal the others from the rain, as per normal.” Chrysalis rasped, coughing a bit. She almost stumbled in her weakness. They rushed forward to steady her, but she snarled when they got too close. “Keep the hive safe until I get done here. Obey me.” She gave a slight push with her mind, and they scrambled to obey.

When Chrysalis was at last alone, she turned her attention to the sky. The big black cloud was huge, scary and pregnant with rain and lightning. Beautiful. Just what Chrysalis had been waiting for months for. With no carapace to steady her body, she shivered in the rush of cold air it brought with it. The southern badlands didn’t often get rain, but when it did rain it REALLY rained. This violent storm had yet to break, but the purring rumble of thunder was promising.

Her chitin had not grown back properly, even months after Celestia’s assault. So thoroughly had she been stripped of her exoskeleton, that it had no starting point to grow back from! Her body wasn’t sure what to do or where to begin. At least, that’s what she surmised. She was open to infection, stabbing wounds, and all sorts of other parasites. Only the love and devotion of the hive itself had kept her from dying outright, and that was after three days of them trying to figure out how to chew through the body cast she’d arrived home in.

The storm rumbled again, and Chrysalis could feel the static electricity rising in the air. Her cheeks, eyes, and hair tingled. She looked to either side of her. The spiny, jutting rocks would have to do. Propping herself on both spike-like rocks, she passed their tips through the holes in her hooves to hold her body weight. It was painful. She felt crucified for a moment, then she remembered why she was there. Her horn sputtered, crackled, and then went out. Huffing in frustration she hunched, clenching her teeth until her cheeks vibrated. The iron in the hill of rock under her would have to do. Making sure she was at the absolutely apex, she reached into the heavens with all her might. Her body refused to repair itself on its own? She would need a jolt to get started, then. Heaving herself upright, she threw her head back as it began to pour down rain suddenly. She tucked her instantly ruined wings with a growl, glaring up into the wind and rain.

She shuddered at the cold. Sheet rain began to hammer down on her. It was crisp, like a white winter’s day. It made her more awake, more acute in the senses and more alive. Arching her long back like a bow, she sang into the heavens!

Hit me once, now!

Hit me twice!

Crackle-bo-o-o-o-om! “OH!” CRK-booooooom! “AUUUH!” Lightning arched down from on high, blasting through the lightning rod that was the Changeling Queen. She pulled at it with all her might, drawing it into herself before it fried her body and killed her. She bent the wild element to her will and used it to empower herself. She vanished in the violent explosion of dirt and dust. Sand blasted itself into glass. The drones in the tunnel entrance gaped in horror until suddenly a figure emerged, pushing aside the haze of dust with her will alone. A horn aglow in neon green pressed out of shadow, and a reborn Chrysalis emerged into view. “Ah-hah-hah…. That’s very nice.” She licked her lips in a rather sexual way. The drones came happily to their knees, and the hive LIT UP with happiness through the hive mind! She was back! Queen Chrysalis was back!

A fully-covered Hive Queen stepped into the tunnel. Her hard exoskeleton was back, shining like armor and slick with rain. She rolled her neck back and forth while her hivelings rushed back and forth with little towels. Throwing her head back with an exhilarated laugh, she galloped down the tunnel and into one of the domed rooms. Drones leapt from their resting places, seizing her front hooves and gliding her to the base of the massive, column-shaped room. A spotlight appeared over her as every-ling peered from side tunnels to see her.

You’ve toiled in grime, and poisoned sludge!

Spore-filled clouds and noxious mud!

Queen Chrysalis seized a mushroom and crushed it in her magical aura, casting the spores aside. They glittered like fireflies, swirling about. It tornado’d around her, lighting the room. The hive pulsed happily, and they poured into the cavernous room like so many zerglings in a rush. The floor was soon covered, then the walls, then the ceiling too. Carpets of happy changelings rushed back and forth over each other as their queen made her big comeback.

Hive beneath me, mm, hive up above!

Oooh you’ll love my ah, ah, AH! Toxic love!

She thrust herself into the air like Celestia at the summer sun celebration. Larva rushed back and forth, squealing happily. Waves of neon green magic exploded from the hive mother. Crystals perched around the room caught it and lit up like Las Pegasus. Brilliant lights danced back and forth as thousands of butts planted themselves and feelers extended. The queen had supercharged herself and now she was sharing it with everyling! She fed them, ohhhhh Faust she fed them. They squealed happily, and the love she gave reciprocated back and forth and ‘round and ‘round. It was a feast!

I see the world and all the creatures in it

I suck ‘em dry for the hive, spit ‘em out like spinach

Those greedy ponies will always lend a hoof

That Nightmare Moon was just the first, that fat and lusty goof!

There was wild laughter and dancing about her as she rotated in midair. The rapid pulse of magic and love from her body was like a heartbeat, and they ate up every bit of it. Eggs in the far reaches of the hive began to hatch. Working drones began to tunnel like crazy. Behemoths roared and flailed wildly, stretching their great muscles and dozens of legs. Inspiration had struck the queen, and it. Was. Brilliant. As soon as she shared her plan with the hivemind they were all for it!

And what a beautiful situation Celestia provided!

To spread a slice of doom on her with her mercy to guide it!

Chrysalis landed and put on a vulnerable expression, wilting down and pretending to be hurt. She gave the hive her best soft puppy eyes. There was wild laughter and pointing. She grinned, rising up to her full strength again as magic pulsed from her once more. They sucked it up, filling their hungry bellies and squirming about greedily. They loved the queen! She was the best queen ever!

Drones came forward with clods of mud in their hooves. Queen Chrysalis leaned down on her belly, closing her eyes as they dirtied her up. They mussed her mane, bent one of her wings and even trimmed her tail short. She looked pathetic and destroyed once more when they were done, but it was no different than make-up this time around. Laughing diabolically, the hive mother rolled in the mud beneath her hooves for good measure. There was approval and chittering in the strange changeling tongue as she rose. They even flecked her with green slime from the caves below. She was a mess, they loved it! It was perfect!

Filthy browns, and acid rain!

Pouring down, into my mane!

Hive beneath me, MHH! Hive up above!

Oooh you’ll love her ah, ah, AHHH! Toxic love!

Chrysalis vanished with a crack of parted air, leaving a Celestia-shaped cloud of white smoke in her stead. The hive roared with approval, and drones leapt into the smoke cloud with laughter. They’d just eaten, sure, but they couldn’t WAIT to see what sun goddess love tasted like!

End of Part 1

The Love of Nightmare Moon

Part 2: Be Mine, Bandaid!

Princess Nightmare galloped like mad down a wide hallway, squeeeeeaking around a corner and almost knocking a trio of guards over as she tore around a corner. She’d quite forgotten her regal poise when the clock had struck 9:30 in the evening that Monday. Her wings snapped open and she pumped them twice, launching herself over a startled group of palace maids. Her shadow passed over them, seemingly in slow motion, until she landed and thundered away from them at a hard pace.

By the time she arrived at the Royal Canterlot Library, Royal Vizier Twilight Sparkle was already there and waiting for her. The golden circlet on her head bore the symbol of the sun and moon, dangling on her forehead like a bead. “Good evening Princess.” Twilight said politely. “You’re late. Again.” She said, frowning a bit. Nightmare winced. Twilight Sparkle was very much a scheduling sort of pony, and whenever Nightmare was late her teacher was insufferable for most of the evening. Either way, though, she needed her to teach her of the modern Equestria.

“We have arrived now.” Nightmare said, turning her nose up regally. “Lead us to study time, Twilight Sparkle.” She gestured a bit, magicking the door open for her.

Twilight nodded a bit and, saddlebags full of scrolls and charts, moved past her. They settled at a long table in the Starswirl the Bearded wing. Twilight took out her reading glasses, poor far-sighted thing, flipping through her notes and reminders. “Alright, we finished out with griffon relations and ettiquite last time, touched on the current affairs of Apploosia and relations with the buffalo… why don’t we move over to Cloudsdale for a bit?”

“I understand they no longer use deformed animals and the like for their rainbow-making.” Nightmare flipped open her own notebook, taking quill out as the lesson began. “What are they using now? Surely not ocean water or something of the kind?”

“Prismatics have improved tenfold in the past thousand years,” Twilight brought up a chalkboard with a complicated chart on it. It had cartoon ponies on it, cloudsdale, lines and arrows describing the process, and diagrams of crystals with light passing through. “So they use a lot less water than they used to.”

“Hrm…” Nightmare leaned and squinted at the equations. The brilliant mathematician leaned for a moment, placing a seven in the proper blank, solved the problem mentally, then wrote a complex string of numbers. “Why, this is revolutionary!” she gasped at it, minding the angles and refraction of the sun that had to be taken into account.

“Let’s try a few more of these.” Twilight nodded. The two of them leaned over Fancy Mathematics for a while, delving deep into rainbow theory and prismatics. They did this for well over two hours, working hard at the tricky math of it all. “I know there’s no rainbows at night, Princess, but it’s very important to understand… the…” the purple mare trailed off, staring at the black alicorn. Princess Nightmare reached for the quill and ink to take notes. Princess Nightmare reached for the quill and ink to take notes. Princess Nightmare reached for the quill and ink to take notes. Princess Nightmare reached for the quill and ink to take notes. Her hoof kept darting back to be under the table. Twilight’s mouth slowly went agape. Lighting her horn angrily, she blasted the image. That wasn’t Princess Nightmare at all, it was an image! A short-lived, intelligent recording! “Princ-eeeesss!” Twilight’s teeth were grinding back and forth. She hated it when the night goddess skipped her modern equestrian lessons. Where could she have possibly gone that was more important?!

=-----=-----=-----=-----=

Nightmare Moon checked her calendar for perhaps the hundredth time. The dawning of the 90th day was paramount. She had to make sure she was not miscounting. Standing at her vanity, she donned her shiniest regalia, brushed her mane, flossed her fangs, fussed over her eyelashes, and many other things. The Princess’ two nondescript guards looked at each-other, cocking an eyebrow. They knew better than to speak when she was so focused, but she looked like she was getting ready for a hot date or something. They watched her polish her hooves before donning her horseshoes, inspect her fetlocks with a magnifying glass, touch her lips with a thin line of crimson, then fight her mane some more with a hair brush. “Hrm.” She said, tilting her head back and forth. She turned one way, then the other. She put on her most winning smile, then bore her fangs at the mirror, then smiled again. Then she leaned and made absolutely sure she had nothing in her teeth. “Hrm.” She said again. Turning about, she inspected herself this way and that. “Guard.” She said. Both stallions snapped to attention. “See thou anything out of place? Doth my appearance be pristine?” She let both of them eye her up and down, before both nodded. She turned a half-circle, flicking her tail about in such a way that both of them blushed and looked at the ceiling instead. “Why dost thou look away?” she said aloud, frowning at them self-consciously. “Is there something wrong with the royal flank?” Her eyes suddenly widened and she rushed over to the mirror, sticking her butt up almost to the glass. She squinted at her tooshie very, very menacingly. If her backside was to be her weakness, she would have to eradicate it right away. Both guards wanted to melt into the floor and not be in the room anymore. Th-this was too much. “What is it?!” Nightmare demanded, jowls rising. “Something must be wrong…” she squinted into the vanity. Turning with a whip of her horn she SEIZED one of the two guards by his breastplate with magic. He squeaked like a mare as he was telekinetically hauled a good thirty feet across the room and to her side. “Your opinion of the royal flank! NOW!” she demanded, showing him her butt.

The poor stallion’s pupils shrank into fearful dots. He looked back and forth, shaking a bit at her bombastic demands. “Uh-buh-buh-uhhhhhhhh… shapely!” he finally decided was a safe word to use. “Shapely, your majesty!” Nightmare set him down, looking thoughtfully at her royal hiney. Shapely, hmm? “Very appealing!” he added when he could breathe properly.

“Of course! Excellent!” right away the Princess’ prideful shields were back up, and she gave her tail a good brushing to make it lay correctly. Nodding to make it official, she tossed her brush down. “Now then, we must away! Get my day-walking garments, I have a stallion to win!” she thrust a hoof forward like a conquering general.

=-----=-----=-----=-----=

Nurse Bandaid had lived in the palace for about three months now. It was a big step up from that tiny economy apartment. Having saved a Princess from a changeling Queen, conquered not one but two of her soldiers, and nursed a Goddess back to health he’d been promoted nicely. All of his medical school debts had been paid for, his things had been moved to a royal apartment where he lived rent free, and now he was the head nurse in his wing of the royal sick bay. All the other new nurses really looked up to him and though he was a shy stallion at heart, he did his best to be a good example.

Buuuut even the most noble of ponies have weaknesses. Bandaid’s was Ponies and Castles. It was a nerdy, pen and paper tabletop game with dozens of books, little plastic figurines, and other doodads that pleased his nerdy little heart to no end. At the moment, he was sitting at his dining room table (he had a dining room now!), with books and paper spread out everywhere. A hoof full of oddly-shaped dice dotted the landscape as he scratched quill to paper in a studious way. A passerby might’ve thought he was studying a complex subject for university, but no, it was all for fun. “Mkay…” he mumbled. “And then place the brain-in-a-jar thirty feet away from the pit trap… here.” He made a little x on the page.” So it might grab somepony’s mind, but they’d have time to resist before it made them leap to their doom.” He was good at setting up devious traps, but he was always very fair about it. It was a guilty pleasure to build complex dungeons on grids for ponies to play on.

Now, Nurse Bandaid had retired from caring for Princess Nightmare Moon some time ago. About three months, if he remembered right. They’d not seen a lot of each other. He didn’t blame her for that. She was a Princess after all, she had a nation to run during the night. He was just a nurse that worked in the palace. Every noble with a sore throat, laceration, or other medical need came to him and his coworkers. Even the upper class got booboo’s sometimes, after all. So, he stayed busy. He still considered her a close friend, and he missed her someti—!

BOOM BOOM BAMPH.

Bandaid flinched, startled when a commanding voice issued from his front door. “Bandaid! Come hence!” Speak of the devil, and she shall appear. Brow rising in surprise, Bandaid set his quill down and closed a couple of his gaming books. Stacking them neatly to one side, he rose from his chair. He was already grinning by the time he came to the door. It was because of her that he lived such a cushy life, and he was always glad when she came by for a visit. He opened his door, and his brow went up even higher. A tall, black figure in a cloak stood in his doorway. Hooded, wearing sunglasses and smiling with all her fangs was Princess Nightmare Moon. Something about her seemed different, though. He couldn’t quite put his finger on it.

“Stay here, I am in no danger in these chambers.” Nightmare bade her guards, who nodded and took up posts on either side of the door. “Hullo, Bandaid!” he motioned her in and she magicked the door shut behind her. He hurriedly went to the windows, closing them and pulling the thick curtains. Going to the angled skylight, he pulled the shades for that too and closed them. The room dimmed nicely. The Princess pulled back her hood when the wretched sun had been shoved out of the room enough. It wasn’t that she was a vampire, but pure sunlight did put her in a weakened state so she had to be careful.

“Princess, it’s good to see you!” Bandaid said enthusiastically, smiling. “I’ve not seen you in a while, what brings you to my place?”

“You of course!” Nightmare whipped off her cloak, tossing it onto his couch and throwing her arms around him. The stallion blushed while she wuzzled the top of his head with her muzzle. “Mhhh, yes you…” she purred like a loud cat. “The ninety days hath passed and now I come for thy heart!” she said, all smiles and joy.

“Wh-what?” Bandaid said when she’d let him go. “Ninety days?”

Princess Nightmare looked a little miffed, but let it pass. She sat on her haunches. “Equestrian law states that one may not romantically persue their doctor, teacher, or other pony in power over themselves within ninety days of use of said power.”

“Uh huh?” Bandaid said, frowning a little. “It keeps doctors from dating their patients. It’s in the code of ethics.” He gave her a puzzled expression.

“It has been ninety days exactly since thou were my hoof servant and private nurse. I may have you now!” Turning with a flourish of black magic she came down to his eye-level, to her knees. Black sparkles decorated the air around them and she fluttered her eyelashes at him romantically. His eyes widened a bit when she conjured a damp, black rose from the ether and offered it to him. It shone with dew, as though freshly picked. “Thou knows I do not like song and dance and subtlety.” She whispered to him, leaning until they were almost nose to nose. “Be mine, dear Bandaid.” She said sweetly, her great black wings opening for him. “Become my royal consort!” she said, offering him the black rose.

“I am NOT becoming your sex toy!” he snapped angrily, red-faced.

“Wh-what?! No!” Nightmare said, aghast to him. “Is that the modern use for the word consort?!” She turned her head, not wanting to ruin the moment. Spotting his bookshelf, she seized a dictionary off of it.

“Princess I am not going t—!” WHOOMPH, he was knocked down by his own massive book of words. Nightmare hunched over it, flicking it open with magic and paging through it. Frowning darkly, she mumbled through the entries. Stars danced around his head and the world spun. He sat up, rubbing his head. “Prin—!” WAP! The book went sailing back towards the shelf, knocking him the other way down.

“Hah! I am correct.” Nightmare said, setting him upright with magic again. Coughing a little, she tried to calm herself. Ruffling her feathers a bit, she tried lowering her voice. “I meant not for thee to merely jump into my bed, Bandaid.” She said sweetly. She coughed a little, looking to one side, “Though I would not object.” She grinned lewdly and he blushed, scratching the back of his head. “I meant… I meant…” she fished for the more ‘modern’ phrase. “What does Vizier Sparkle call that imbecile Blueblood…?” she frowned, stroking her chin a few times. Her eyes searched back and forth as thou she were reading an invisible book. “Stallion… friend?” she tried, making it into a question.

“Coltfriend?” Bandaid offered, rubbing his sore head.

“Coltfriend!” Nightmare seized the phrase, nodding enthusiastically. “Become my royal coltfriend!” she offered him the black rose again. He stared at it. She stared at him, grinning wide with all her rows and rows of razor sharp teeth.

Bandaid seized up like a statue, going a little pale. His heart thundered. S-surely there was supposed to be a date first, or some sort of lead up to this? Princess Nightmare had all the subtlety of a baton to the face, though. She was not one to dance around an idea or want something for very long. She went after what she wanted like a shark. Was he supposed to just say yes and take her flower and that would be that? What would happen to him? How did one date a goddess?! Did royal coltfriends get guards, or have to do a ceremony? Wouldn’t he be flooded by paparazzi? Did Celestia have a secret royal coltfriend? Questions spun around in his fretful little mind, faster and faster. Being a medical student and having no time for that sort of thing, he wasn’t exactly super-experienced in the mare department. “I… I…” He was starting to feel a little ill and overwhelmed.

“Mine heart beats for thee, please say yes?” Nightmare said, pinkening a little in the cheeks. “Though I may have any stallion or start a harem of any size, mine desire for thy companionship dwarfs such things!” she said, confessing herself to him. By her black magic the rose bloomed out into its full, dark span. The black alicorn watched him start to hyperventilate a little. Was he having a panic attack? “Bandaid—?” she started to ask when a bead of sweat went down the side of his face.

He fainted.

She winced a little when his full weight bumped, hitting the floor hard. Princess Nightmare stared at him, and her rose wilted before popping out of existence. “Huhm. Not the reaction I’d expected.” She frowned thoughtfully, tilting her head a bit. Looking about as though there might be witnesses, she picked him up and levitated him to the couch. Laying him on it, she settled next to him. Spotting the massive disarray of gaming books on his kitchen table, she retrieved one by magic. “Perhaps the direct approach is not what he needed.” She flipped the book open thoughtfully, sighing. “Ah well. When he wakes up I shall ask him again. If he faints twice, I shalt need a backup plan.” She nodded to make it official, and set to reading quietly. After a time, she extended one of her massive black wings over him like a blanket. “Surely my mother has not allowed males to become so complicated over the ages.” Nightmare chuckled softly.

End of Part 2