Relax, AJ, relax. The barn is decorated, the food is cooked, the instruments are out; party favors and what not are taken are of. Games, drinks, food; it's all there. These things are meant for fun, and what could be more fun than a country hoedown in our very own barn? These were my thoughts as I frantically carried pales of water from the well into the barn (for "bob for apples" of course) where the rest of the family were finishing up the final touches for the hoedown. It was about fifteen minutes until ponies would start showing up. I was sweating pretty good.

I kicked open the barn door with pales in both arms and hurried over the buckets of apples. Applejack, who was on the wall of the barn atop a ladder, turned her head and smiled cutely at me, causing the nail that was placed in her mouth to drop.  She was attempting to nail up a large white wooden sign with the text "Welcome to Sweet Apple Barn!" on the wall, something I am perfect for.

"Hey honey, could ya give me a quick hand with this?" she said sweetly. I ran over to the barrels and dumped both water pales in the bucket before setting them down, and as I made my way over to Applejack's latter, I heard the loud voice of Granny Smith behind me.

"AJ! There ya are! How's the water comin' there, sonny?"

"Oh it's good! I need to get two more pales in there as soon as I'm done with this, but it should only take a second" I yelled as I ran over to where Applejack was and picked up the nail she had dropped and began climbing up the ladder. Big Macintosh was on a ladder holding up the other side of the sign. Applejack, who had stayed atop the ladder, released her front left leg from the ladder and leaned aside for me to climb up right beside her. I got one quick smile into her dainty green eyes before I began nailing away at the sign, which only took a second.

"Thank ya honey!" she said, as I slid back down.

I ran over and grabbed my pales of water of hurried out to the well once more. One more trip with both pales and we might be ready to go. For some reason, though, I was still nervous, and that probably added to the sweat I was already visibly shedding. Hoedown, AJ, hoedown! These things are made entirely for fun! So relax for goodness sake! I filled the pales once more and ran them back into the barn as fast I could without spilling them. I entered through again and tossed the water into the apple bucket again, and our work was finished.

I stood over the bucket of water panting, I took my hand and wiped my forehead. Applejack, who was laying her ladder down against the side of the wall, turned her head and called over to me sweetly.

"Hey sugarcube, ya know these things er' supposed to be fun, right?" she said, giving me that warm smile of hers. I paused to catch my breath and grinned back brightly; half of it was real, given the look on her face, but the other half was slightly forced to cover up my nervousness.

"I know, I know. I'm just trying to help," I said, bending over and breathing hard still.

"Well, then relax a little!" she giggled.

"Alright," I replied, submitting to her request. "I'll be back, I'm just gonna, go outside for a minute," I said sheepishly.

I walked out of the barn yet again with the pales and set them down just beside the well, where I paused for a moment to think. I was more relaxed now, but not completely; I didn't want to be around them with my anxiousness and just get them all riled up, even though realistically, I'm sure they were all excited too. I guess it's inevitable feeling a little weird being the only non-pony at an event that the entire town is attending. Making a good impression on them was also important to me, since being married to Applejack I tend to be associated with her; which, by all means, is incredibly flattering to me, but only if I provide a positive reflection on her. I would be devastated to have ponies think negatively of Applejack because of me.

I leaned my hands on the well and looked up at the purple/orange dusk sky, before closing my eyes and taking a good, long breath of Sweet Apple air through the nose. Sticking out was something I was used to by now and it's reassuring that I'm friends with almost everypony in town. Adventure is practically a given in this life. Applejack and I have done so much together thus far not only as friends, but as the romantic couple we are. We've yet to, however, host a hoedown. And to be honest, I wasn't that nervous. In the days leading up to it I was certainly looking forward to it, and really, I still was very much looking forward to it. I mean sure, I was a little anxious, I admit it, but I knew that ultimately it was nothing to be afraid of.

I bent over and splashed myself in the face with water, and thought about the center of my life, the country mare. Immediately as I thought of the smile she had just given me, I could feel my heart stirring with feelings of joy and affection. She certainly seems happy. I looked into my reflection from the well-water and observed the dreams and twinkles in my eyes as I thought about her. How can I not be happy and cheerful at this hoedown with her? I mean, c'mon, I'm one of the rarest creatures in Equestria and I'm married to the cutest, most amiable, most lovable country pony.

I turned around quickly to head back into the barn to be with my family, but just as I turned around, there was flash of wide green eyes, and before I knew it, I had run right into Applejack, who had trotted out to check on me. I bounced off of her right into the ground on my back, looking up at her as she stared over me with an embarrassed blush.

"Sorry 'bout that," she chuckled, "Ah' was just comin' out here to check on you," she said, extending her hoof and helping me up. "Yer not nervous, are ya sugarcube? Ya know ah've seen ya workin' mighty hard, and ah' appreciate it so much," she said tenderly, before bringing her head to mine and resting it against my forehead, "but ah' want mah' little cutie to have fun tonight."

"Well, this is our first hoedown, seeing as how you and me skipped out on last years'," I said, deeply enjoying her soft head on mine. "Don't worry about me, Applejack. You and I are going to have so much fun. I'm just a little nervous about my song, that's all."

"Big Macintosh just told me that the two o' you are gonna knock 'em dead with that song," she exclaimed, pulling her head back. "Ya know ah' been dyin' to hear it," she said, putting her hoof on my chest.

"Did you know that there will be some family members here tonight I have never met?" I said, to which she looked dumbstruck.

"Who?"

"Well, let's see, there's Kazooie and Fiddlesticks, never met them before," I said, at the top of my head. Applejack was not intimidated.

"Fiddlesticks is real neighborly, and whoo doggie! You think ah' can play, she plays the meanest fiddle in Equestria. And Kazooie, well he ain't no grouch. Jus' those two?"

"Oh, and Hayseed Turnip Truck," I added, and Applejack laughed.

"Hayseed loves everypony," she said, to which I smiled and raised my eyebrow. She responded by playfully putting me in a head lock and rubbing my hair with her mane, which was terribly enjoyable. "Every human too, you silly filly," she said too, as I giggled and tried to pull myself away before she released me. "Daggone, you er' lookin' so country right now, sugarcube!"

I looked at myself from head to toe, noting my jeans, plain light-blue t-shirt, and brown leather jacket, along with a stetson of my own sent from some of the family in Appleloosa. Delighted to hear such a thing, I just looked at Applejack and laughed in agreement. I was a real farm boy now.

"Ya just need one more thing," she added, lifting up her cowpony hat and feeling around her ear, grabbing a piece of hay atop her head. "There ya go, sweetie." I placed the piece of hay in my mouth and crossed my arms for a pose, to which we both ended up laughing.

Just then, as the two of us were standing there, there was a loud rush of wind and thud just behind us, and standing in between us and the barn was now a young cyan pegasus mare with a rainbow mane and tail. It was Rainbow Dash, one of our best friends and the element of loyalty.

"Told you guys I would be first here!" she exclaimed boldly in her high, raspy voice, holding her up right hoof with confidence. Just like that, with the arrival of the first guest, the hoedown was officially underway. "I hope you guys are ready, flying over here I saw droves of ponies walking over here. Oh, Fluttershy is coming, she'll just be a little bit late."

"Sounds good. How ya been Rainbow?" said my wife, which Rainbow responded to gritly.

"Well, I mastered the double thunderhop... Oh, and got to hang out with Twilight! Which reminds me, she's almost here too," said the tough mare.

"Well go ahead on in there, Rainbow! Rest o' the family's in there, we're gonna stay out here and say hello to everyone. C'mon', honey," said Applejack heartily, giving me a push from behind with her head. I shrugged at Rainbow with an innocent smile as my feet drug along the dirt from Applejack's pushing, to which she rolled her eyes and trotted in the barn.

"Aw, don't worry, ah'll be right here with ya," she assured as she stopped us right in front of the barn door. When she given her final shove and came to rest standing right beside me, I cheerily wrapped my arms around her neck and hugged her good and tight. "Awww," she said, as she raised her right leg and cuddled back.

"Hello Applejack! Hello AJ!" came a familiar voice from above, as Twilight Sparkle descended until she landed right in front of us with a friendly beam. Applejack lowered her chest to the ground and bowed her head, as I kneeled and did the same with my head. "Oh you two, you don't have to kneel. We're friends!" she said, flattered.

Remember Twilight Sparkle from my first testimony, the purple unicorn who I was friends with, the one who was gifted at magic? Well, as it turns out, that's only partially accurate. Twilight is not a unicorn- she's an alicorn, a pony with both wings and a horn. When Princess Celestia learned that a human had moved to Ponyville, she naturally didn't trust me right away (and I can't exactly blame her for that), at least not completely. So to make sure I could be deemed a worthy subject of her highness, she decided to place a figure of authority, namely her best student and the element of magic, under the disguise of a unicorn so that she might keep an eye on me and make sure I wasn't looking for trouble. It wasn't until I had won Applejack's heart that I learned this little detail through my wife. To be fair, they never seriously suspected anything from me, they were just playing it safe. Oh, and it gets even better; not only is Twilight an alicorn, she's also a lower level princess. She even wears a crown.

"Twi! Great to see ya Princess!" said Applejack, rising, whom I copied.

"Princess," I acknowledged, raising my eyebrows with a grin.

"You two are so cute," she replied, smiling at the two of us. That coupled with Applejack's arm extending over me nearly gave me a heart attack.

"Well thank you, Twi! Ya know, once this thingy gets goin', we'll have a group meetup between the elements," said my wife. Now there's a group where I really feel weird. Six girl ponies, all of them like sisters to each other, and then there's me. Even so, it's well worth it, and an indescribable wonder being united in a special way with Applejack so that we share the element of honesty.

"Of course. No one is stopping Equestria's girls from getting together. Is Rainbow in there already?" she said, peering over our shoulder. Now, Twilight and the elements are still very close, but as of late she's been spending a lot of time in Canterlot. Pinkie Pie, Rarity, Fluttershy, and Rainbow frequently visit the farm, where they are always welcome, but there have not been many instances lately where we've all been together at the same time.

"Just make yerself at home, Twi. She's in there along with the rest of the fam', and we got food n' drink n' anything else yer up for."

"See you guys in there! Love that hat, AJ," she said in a casual tone and an admiring face as she walked into the barn, as Applejack and I smiled at each other.

That only lasted a quick moment though, as we quickly noticed a positively pink pony bouncing gleefully towards us with a silly, elated grin on her face, all the while carrying a large bag in her mouth. Alongside her of course was the fashionable Rarity, wearing an old-fashioned magenta-colored dress that covered her backside, and socks matching the color of her dress on her front legs.

"Greetings, my dear country lovebird friends!" said Rarity. She knows how to tug our heartstrings, that's for sure.

"Hi AJ! Hi Applejack!" muttered Pinkie, who was terribly hard to understand given she spoke with the bag in her mouth. Immediately following, she began jumping up and down blissfully speaking fast, high-pitched gibberish, leaving Applejack and I staring in confusion and Rarity sighing exasperatedly.

"Pinkie! Take the bag out of your mouth for pony's sake!" she said, highly annoyed.

"Oh! Sorry," said Pinkie as she stopped and opened her mouth, causing the bag to fall freely to the ground where there was much clanking as though there was metal objects inside. My wife and I found it somewhat cute, and Applejack chuckled.

"Whatcha got there Pinkie?" she said.

"Just some instruments. I've been working on a little something with a couple other ponies. It's gonna be a doozy!" she exclaimed with an excited scream, prompting Applejack to chuckle heartily again.

"Well, that's what hoedowns er' for. Music, games, and good company."

"You guys are gonna love this song. I Pinkie promise," she said, when suddenly there was a rumbling sound coming from Pinkie's stomach. "What better way to solve a hunger problem then with Applejack's cooking? See you guys in there!" she said, throwing out a hoof and picking up her bag of instruments and trotting happily into the barn. Oh man, please don't eat everything. Rarity rolled her eyes and shook her head before turning to us more cheerfully.

"Well, what do you think? Casual and it's got a country flavor to it," she said, admiring her dress. Applejack and I briefly smiled at each other, knowing that Rarity's "casual" was well beyond our excess. Applejack smiled nervously and true to her element found something she liked.

"Those socks look awful comfy!" she said, pointing to her front hooves.

"Not as comfy as you look when you're with him, darling," replied Rarity, shooting me a dreamy smile to tease her friend. I immediately pulled my hat down over my face to cover up my violent blushing, which was hardly controllable at such a remark. Of all of our friends, Rarity, who was easily the least like us, certainly knew how to delight us the best.

"Ya got that right," I heard Applejack say, and I smiled even wider under the protection of my hat. I gently pulled it off to find the both of them grinning broadly at me, Applejack's eyes twinkling with admiration.

"Get in there," I told Rarity, looking from her to the ground with a smile. She raised her eyebrows smugly and trotted in after her friend, leaving Applejack and I there alone again. We looked at each other in silence for a moment, and just took in each other's company. She is just so cute, in every possible sense of the word. The hoedown hadn't even started, and I was already having the time of my life. I stared into those eyes and absorbed the immeasurable amount of loving care coming from them.

We were interrupted by the sound of multiple voices coming from ponies young and old; Rainbow was right. Every stallion, mare, and foal in Ponyville was going to be here, and even some non-Ponyville family members. I was actually excited to meet some of Applejack's most "country" relatives; and right on cue, emerging from ahead of the crowd was an eager but ultra-friendly looking buck-toothed stallion with a brown mane and green cap with a turnip on it. There was no question who this was.

"Well howdy Applejack!" he said, talking real fast in a heavy country accent, even heavier than Applejack's.

"Howdy 'cuz!" replied my wife, spitting into her hoof as he did the same and the two of them joined hooves, a way of greeting.

"This here your husband?" he said, looking at me with wide eyes. I smiled and held my out hand, ready to respond, but before I could he shook my hand violently. "Name's Hayseed! Hayseed Turnip Truck, nice to meet ya! Ya got a real nice country wife here, ya know, ya take good care of her, ya hear?"

"Believe me buddy, I intend to," I said, chuckling with admiration at his simplicity and friendliness.

"How 'bout a farmer's hug?" he said, reaching both legs around Applejack and I bringing all three of us together. Applejack and I couldn't help look at each other with smiles in agreement at how cute he was, and after a quick second we hugged him back tightly.

"See you guys in there," he said, withdrawing himself and gone in a flash into the barn.

"Now was that so bad?" said Applejack, giggling awfully. I didn't have any time to react, I turned my head and tipped my hat at the droves of ponies that were upon us and greeting us with cheery faces. I was getting all kinds of hoofshakes and "AJ, how are you?" kind of greetings I could barely keep up with all of it. See? You had nothing to worry about. Still, that's a lot of ponies you're gonna have to play in front of. I took a gulp and continued my sincere friendliness with all of our friends who passed us in droves. Either way, I was happy for Applejack to be getting all this positive attention. I was also happy that I was getting positive attention for her sake, even though I really do these ponies at least a little bit and cherish our friendship.

As I shook the hoof of one Cherry Cola, there appeared in front of me a new face; a light yellow mare with a blue mane was brightly admiring me from head to toe, having clearly never seen a human before. She had on a white stetson, a torn green jacket, an orange scarf and orange of the same cloth around her waist. She had a treble clef for a cutie mark and had a violin case strapped over shoulder.

"Howdy Applejack! This here your husband?" she said, pointing to me. Applejack nodded her head to Cheerilee as she walked by and then turned with a big grin to the two of us.

"You bet your flank it is! Ain't he a cutie?" she said, rubbing my back with her hoof.

"AJ, nice to meet you," I said, holding out my hand. The mare shook it, not taking her eyes of me.

"You are the first o' your kind I ever saw, ya know that? But you are a handsome devil, I gotta say," she said, to which I laughed awkwardly. I was not unflattered, though. "Name's Fiddlesticks. Nice to meet ya honey," she said. She had a really nice-sounding voice that I'm sure would be appreciated by a lucky stallion some day. But it was not nearly as sweet as Applejack's. "You gonna be dancin' with him all night cousin? I may have to steal him for a few songs," she said, to which I went from laughing awkwardly to blushing, as Applejack's laughter provided great relief.

"Actually, we were hopin' you could get in there now and get 'em started," said my wife, pointing towards the barn. Just then, a light-colored stallion with a blonde mane and a tall blue farmer's hat appeared right beside Fiddlesticks, with a banjo strapped over his shoulder.  

"Who's pickin' the banjo here?" he said gruffly with a piece of hay in his mouth. It occurred to me that I looked similar to him with my hat and the hay in my mouth, and the thought of looking so country filled me with extra glee.

"You are! 'Cept you mind if AJ here does a song with Big Mac a lil' later?" she said.

"That ain't no problem," he said with a beam as he nodded and entered the barn, which was now loud and filled with conversing ponies. Fiddlesticks perked up.

"You play?" she said, putting her hoof on my shoulder. I chuckled and looked at Applejack before looking back at her.

"Eh, one song, so you know... not really," I said, rubbing the back of my neck.

"Well let's go on in! I've got something that'll get 'em warmed up," she said, trotting into the barn.

Finally, Applejack and I turned around and began to enter ourselves. At that moment, it hit me what was happening; I was about to walk into my wife's barn filled with ponies and non-stop country music and games. This was going to be a good night.