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Honest Love

by AJ

Chapter 21: Until Now

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Until Now

I raised my left arm and examined it; it, too, was a disproportionately thick, sleek black limb with large claws at the end of it, somehow connected to the rest of my body. Discord stood hovering over the stage, smiling in amusement as the horrified crowd of ponies stampeded away from the center of the town square, kicking up clouds of dust in their galloping. Nothing remained in the moonlit square but Discord, Applejack and I. She ran towards to me, her eyes full of care and desperation, but Discord snapped his chicken claws, and she disappeared.

"Applejack!" I cried, before turning to him with fire in my heart. "Where did you send her?" I snarled.

"Relax, this is only your dream, remember?" he replied with a grin, looking at my claws and chuckling to himself. Not this again... True though it may have been, I was still bitter beyond measure even though I relaxed a little knowing it wasn't her. It was awkward to have my front dragon legs now as my arms while the rest of me remained human, especially since I was wearing jeans, a t-shirt, and an Appleoosan jacket (like the kind Applejack's cousin Braeburn wears), but it did feel kind of nice to be back to at least some of my human self, even if I was dreaming. My dragon arms came without all the pain that the process took in real life. When Discord initially changed me in the barn, his magic blasting itself on me, it was a slow and terribly painful process as my body grew and transformed. Thankfully in dreams, you can't feel physical pain.

"Just curious, but... have you ever laughed at someone's else's joke?" I said irritatedly, as I accepted that it was just us two. His smile grew and he cackled some more.

"Does this answer your question?"  he said, clutching his ribs as he laughed. My dry sense of humor didn't do me any damage this time, but I had to be more careful. I couldn't make him mad, even in my dream. Alone with Discord, with no Applejack, or anyone else... I wanted this over with, but I needed to take advantage of the situation as well; it could be the key to figuring out our next move. He lowered himself to the stage and subdued his amusement. "Enjoying the game so far?"

"No," I replied blankly. He pretended to look surprised at my answer, and then shifted to a face that expressed fake doubt.

"Hey, don't look at me! You're the one that wanted to play. Now that we are, let me lay down a few more rules before I leave you to do whatever else you want," he said, his words sliding off his tongue as though he enjoyed every second of it.

"You know... I know you want the throne and all, but did you really have to choose us as the means of getting it? By now we're used to some power-hungry jerk taking a weird interest in us, but, really," I remarked. I was so angry, but in the back of my mind my life with my pony wife seemed to flash before me as I stood there in front of him, the constant image being her bright, smiling face. Just keep working... remember who you're working for... If I wanted my life to return to the way it was, and continue my life as a father with Applejack, I couldn't slip up at any point. Once you've learned to work for a someone you care about, sweating and toiling hours day after day - along with sheer love for the ones you care about - it gives you the strength to carry on even when you feel like you can't go on any longer. He's just lucky he's come after me and not her.  

"So impolite," he said with a chuckle. "You know, if you're trying to convince me into changing you back, I gotta tell you it's not working. Try being nice! But I don't know, maybe you want to spend your fatherhood as a monster," he said, walking towards me while leaning his snake-like body forward, closing one eye and looking at me intently with the other. His taunts pack a powerful emotional punch specific to me, and they don't feel good. "And for the record, everypony has an interest in you two. I mean come on AJ! Even I gotta give you props; a human comes to Equestria, falls in love with a pony, and is now becoming a parent with her? Ponies are gonna be talking about you two for a long time," he said, pausing himself on a more serious note. "Make sure it's positive."

"Maybe it's just the element of honesty speaking, but if you're trying to convince me you've been reformed, I really gotta say it's not working," I replied, standing perfectly still, in contrast to his constant motions. I just wanted to show him - and myself - that I had the strength to not cower in front of him, even if I was afraid of him. He slithered his body around me so that he was just barely not touching me, his face right in front of mine. His confidence wasn't shaken; he still had that sly expression. The truth was that I was rather shaken by his comment. I hadn't given it a whole lot of thought; didn't dislike the idea of ponies talking about Applejack and I together - quite the contrary- but just like he said, it had to be good.  

"I'm not saying I don't find it terribly amusing. Hey, I admit it, there's still a touch of chaos about me! But I am not what I used to be. Take it from me," he said, patting me on the head with his bear paw. When I initially remained silent, he slithered off of me and started walking back towards to the center of the stage. I had something I wanted to say, but I wasn't sure if I should. I was torn between not upsetting him and standing up to him. While getting him to change his mind.

"Playing the victim, huh?" I said, as he stopped dead in his tracks, his back still turned to me. He slowly turned his head around, and the smile was gone from his face. Instead there was almost a flicker of embarrassment.

"What did you say?" he said, facing me threateningly, before he chuckled, though not sincerely. "I am simply of the opinion that I'd make a better ruler than Celestia."  

We stood there opposite each other and stared unsympathetically.

"Boo hoo! 'I don't like working under the Princess so I'm going to take it out on the most innocent mare in Equestria who has nothing whatsoever to do with my evil behavior in the past. And then I'll say I'm not doing anything wrong!' "

"Watch your tone," he said coldly, and suddenly he was serious; maybe the most serious and thoughtful I'd ever seen him. He was listening to me, and I could hardly believe I said it.

"And let me guess, you're not the villain? You gave me a fair shot?" I continued calmly, raising my eyebrow. Aside from taking two steps forward, he remained still, watching me.

"You could've trusted me," he said with a short-lived grin, despite still being in deep thought. "I've never touched your precious apple-bucker, even though she's never trusted me either. And I never will. I've just given you a few tweaks, is all."

"It doesn't have to be like this," I said, switching to a more pleading tone, with Applejack's motherhood and my own fatherhood in mind. His face remained the way it was, as though he'd taken a break from all of his jokes and theatrical behavior to listen to me. Try to appeal to his good side... This was my one shot to influence him. I had to speak honestly and from the heart. "It's not too late. Don't throw away your friendship with Fluttershy. You change me back, and you keep her as a friend, Applejack and I can go back to living happily, and who knows... maybe you make some more friends."

He stood there deathly still, weighing through my proposal in his head. I returned his expression with breathless face, waiting for him. I watched his eyes so hard; I couldn't tell what was going on in his head, though I was surprised if not a little encouraged that he'd taken me this seriously up this point. I was waiting and hoping for some sympathy in his eyes. Some appreciation for friendship. His answer was everything.

After what seemed like forever, he looked down to the ground and chuckled before coming back up to me.

"You know what? You're right," he said, raising his eyebrows. The only sound I could hear for a moment was my beating heart.What?

"I-I am?" I stuttered, staring at him open-mouthed.

"Yep. It doesn't have to be like this," he continued, shaking his head convictively, "but unless you change your mind, it is going to be like this. Sorry AJ. You had your chance."  

So easily and effortlessly he shattered my hope, after he had sent it so high. A crushing blow. I turned my head from and closed my eyes, unable to look at him. I'm so sorry Applejack... As I plunged into sadness and anger, I heard her whispering to me in my heart. Don't feel bad, sugarcube. You tried so hard... ah'm so proud of you! He can't take away what we got, even if you ain't the way you always was. Ain't nobody can take away what you've done fer me. Even if he does win, at least we'll still be together sweetheart!

Her words of comfort soothed my weary heart, because it was for her that it wept. Though I still had a knot in my stomach. I took a deep breath and faced him chest up with my eyes open. She was right. I still wanted to go back to being human, but I had the courage I needed to carry on once more. This fight's not over.

"You're the one who said species doesn't matter!" he said with pleasure, as I got up and faced him. "Fluttershy will be my queen, you see, which is why that little guilt trip won't work. Chaos can be justice. Change a few things on the outside, and you're not so cuddly anymore, are you?" he said, yet this comment didn't have the force that his others had. In fact, it even tickled me a little. Well, not according to Applejack, actually... Or the rest of the family.

"Just give me the rules," I muttered, as he seemed to take great delight in my answer.

"Ah ha! See? You are a more natural dragon after all, you're ready to accept it!" he said, smiling smugly, but I ignored it. He began skating around me in circles on the stage, though on invisible skates. I just wanted to get this over with so I could wake up, be with Applejack, and eat the biggest helping of raw fish I could hope to imagine. I may not be able to feel pain in dreams, but I can feel hunger.

"Let me guess; no revealing myself, right?" I asked bitterly. He stopped in front of me as surprised and gleefully hovered off the ground, shaking his finger, as though he wanted me to.

"Oh no! You are more than free to show yourself to anypony you please outside of Canterlot. What you can't do is tell them it's me. That means no game of charades for you, no writing my name with your claw, nothing. If you would get the chance, which I doubt. Mostly this is for your wife, she can't go running to Fluttershy, Twilight, Celestia, Rainbow, or any other pony her simple little head might think to tell," he said, as a piece of wheat appeared in his claws and he stuck it in his mouth to mock us. "And that goes for Big Red, Oldie, and the little wildcat as well. Break this rule, and you and Applejack may want to consider a half-pony half-dragon child to go along with your first one, since that's all that'll be possible."

I turned my head away from him yet again and stared at the door of a random building in front of me on the town square. I was too angry to look at his yellow-red eyes and his pony-goat face. I was starting to feel that fire inside me, though it was a different type of fire, fueled by love. I had trouble thinking a clear thought, I was so filled with contempt. He suffered from that tired old notion. If he wants to think that we're just simple farmers, then let him...

"So when did you plan on taking the throne?" I said quietly, stuttering in my disgust. I couldn't help but question is putting it off. Somepony was going to find out sooner or later if he didn't take it soon.

"When I wish," he replied with a shrug. "Soon enough. Soon enough I'll be king, Fluttershy will be queen, and all of Equestria will be living in harmony. I'll even leave you alone! I just hope you fit in well enough," he said, showing a fake concern and mocking doubt. I closed my eyes one more time and took another deep breath through the nose. I could almost subconsciously feel Applejack sleeping against my belly in the real world, warmly snuggled up the way she was. I just wanted to return to her, so she could provide some rest to my weary heart that ached for her.

"Don't be so sad," he said, as I faced him one more time with a tear. His consolation was fake, I knew that, if anything it just made me angrier. "I'm just worried about what all the townsponies are going to think when they find out about - well, you know... Applejack," he said. Don't take the bait, AJ, don't take the bait...

"You can't honestly expect me to believe anything you say at this point," I said, though in my heart I feared what he had to say.

"Well," he said, looking down at the ground, "you don't have to. I think they'll show you themselves."

"Show me what?" I said reluctantly. I was curious, and I was frightened. He turned his head back at me pretending as though he was afraid to tell me, or like he felt bad for saying it.

"Well, let's just say they will... look down, on your foal?" he continued, throwing his hands up. His words were like a snake tying me up in bondage, but I fought back nonetheless. I had considered it briefly before, and worried about it a little bit, but I never took it seriously. I always dismissed it as me overreacting. Until now.

"You're lying," I said, shaking my head. "Ponies are creatures of friendship and love," I said angrily, as he floated around me. "You should've seen the way they were at the hoedown. Everyone was friendly with us. I'm not playing your little game," I continued, though he was making me furious both at him and the idea of ponies looking down on Applejack and our child. I still doubted it, but it was something I couldn't bare to witness if it did. It lit another fire in me.

"Yes," he said, stopping and facing me, "but what happens when they see that Applejack's husband has been replaced by a dragon that can't talk? That's gonna be awfully embarrassing for her, regardless of whether or not they know it's you. What will they think when they find out she's pregnant and you're not there with her anymore?"

"SHUT UP!"

Rage pumped through my veins. I did my best to suppress those feelings of anger and fear at the thought of Ponyville laughing at Applejack. No one will laugh at her while I live... Though my blood seared, I had to calm down, before I did something in my sleep to harm those who were sleeping with me. I took some deep breaths, relished the thought of her sleeping under my wing, and turned my anger back on him where it belonged.

"I know what you're up to," I growled quietly. Once again he looked down at me and shrugged, expressing doubt at my declarations.

"You wait and see how they react. Hide under a bridge if you have too and listen to them someday," he said. I feared that maybe even more than I feared being a dragon forever. It was like my dream at the waterfall before any of this happened. The two of us stared at each other, me filled with resentment and fury, him spouting a kind of lessening amusement as he looked at me and thought to himself. "Of course, there is one way we can avoid all of this, if you simply agree to help me. I'll have to wait until Equestria is safe and secure to change you back, you understand," he said in a more business-like tone. He opened his bear claw invitingly and once more wiped all amusement of his face. He raised his eyebrows and started to wipe the smile off his face. As for me, I just breathed and breathed as I tried to keep control of myself.

Suddenly, however, both of us were completely caught off guard and our demeanor changed dramatically when a bright ray of light shined past us from our left. We twisted our heads together around in utter bewilderment as we both came to see a large, glowing white light emanating from ground level about fifty feet or so from the stage in the middle of the street.

"Say what?" growled Discord. Whatever this was, he certainly hadn't planned for it. The both of us raised our claws to block out the bright light from our eyes as we struggled to get a glimpse of it. I was at a complete loss until I saw the figure of what appeared to be a tall, dark alicorn pony with a flowing mane and tail.

I had no idea what to do; I stood there in confusion as I struggled to comprehend what was happening. My first thought was Princess Celestia, but the figure was much too dark for it to be her white figure. Discord gasped as though afraid, and raised his right claw, and a brilliant white light shot forth from his fingers, joining with the light coming from the alicorn, blinding her from us entirely so I couldn't see her at all.

"How did she get through that spell?" I heard Discord mutter to himself. Immediately following that, I heard the voice of a mare, a seemingly young-to-middle aged mare with a powerful voice.

"Who's dream is this?" she called urgently. Suddenly it hit me. Princess Luna? It made perfect sense. The Apples had spoken of her ability to come into the dreams of her subjects, and I remembered seeing her in one of mine many months before when I was frolicking through the apple trees with Applejack, but now she couldn't have come at a better time. In an adrenaline rush, I went to call out to her, but Discord turned to me indignantly and raised his left claw, and a white light blinded everything from my vision.

"Wake up. You had your chance... remember the rules!" he called, and the whiteness became so bright that I had to shut my eyes completely.

"Princess Luna!" I called over the sound of rushing wind. I knew she could've helped us. I forced my eyes open again, and suddenly I beheld a sideways ground view of the edge of the lake, with the sun just beginning to rise over lush green hills beyond. I felt the bed of soil on my side and the bodies of the Apple family sleeping against my belly, tucked under my front claws while I felt my tail rested limp behind me. I was breathing so hard that I seemed to be waking them up as they rustled around; I was still living in the thrill of the moment, even though I'd lost it. Guys? I turned my head inward and opened my mouth to call them:

"Raarrrggghh?"

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