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Honest Love

by AJ

Chapter 13: If Only

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If Only

Applejack here. Well... My mouth and my eyes were hardly shut. I ain't never been that good with fancy words and such, so I hope you know what I mean when I say it's hard to describe how I feel sometimes. I knew those eyes. I been starin' at 'em for two years.

"AJ?" I whispered again, as I stared and stared. I knew they were his eyes 'cause I could see the kindness in 'em. There's an indescribable feeling that comes from lookin' em. Though they were bigger than usual, and still a little different somehow. But he nodded his head up and down real slow. So for a moment my fear was suspended and I felt comfort. I was relieved, I guess, that I'd found him. But it didn't make no sense. This wasn't how I knew the rest of him, that much is certain. His eyes were at the level of my chest, so I sat myself down beside him, and I brought my hoof over his head.

That relief didn't last. He was sad. Really sad; he was cryin', ashamed of himself. He was looking at me as if he'd let me down. If ya'll are wonderin' the quickest way to tear me down, that's it right there. You hurt my family. Comforting him was my top priority, and I was terrified to see what in the hay had happened to him, but I'd ignored the rest of him long enough. We'd been through so much together, I just couldn't imagine him as nothin' else other than how I knew him. I took a fearful gulp and braced for something terrible someone or something had done to him. I would never/will never understand why someone would come after him. My life with him was a testimony to his goodness. So I sat back and began to take a good, long look at what they'd done to him as he his eyes up at me in shame. A flash of lightning lit up the barn for just a second and showed some kinda black material covering his whole self. I wondered if he was wearing some kinda huge black blanket.

"What have they done to you?"

AJ turned his weeping eyes in shame as I kept on starin' at him, worried outta my mind. Suddenly there was movement over him. The black material moved, and the whole outline seemed to grow a weed as the black thing. It revealed neon blue stripes and more blackness. It appeared he was laying down, but... he looked downright huge on that hay. Then a lightning bolt illuminated him for a just a flash. I couldn't believe what I saw. I didn't want to believe it. I gasped when I saw the blackness was all part of his body, and the black things he'd been coverin' himself with were like... wings?  

"Oh no..." I whispered.

I covered my mouth with my hoof as I saw his eyes close and his head lay down to the ground. He had been curled up, but not now he wasn't! I hadn't seen all of him, but I saw his body was thick, black, and blue, and a long tail curled out up the barn wall as a crack of thunder shook the foundation. He still had a short neck, but there were  long claws on his hands and feet, 'cept I think he now had more like four feet instead of just two. He was breathing heavy and his I could seem to make out his belly movin' up and down. Those black leathery things were like enormous batwings. Make no mistake, I knew what was goin' on. There was a dragon in front of me. My sweetheart was a dragon. A small dragon as far as dragons go (I reckon a big one can't fit in the barn at all), but still a heck of a lot bigger than he used to be. Heck of a lot bigger 'n me, even! It was so strange to see his outside so opposite from what he was on the inside. All apples weighed, he should've been a terrifying sight, yet he was the most helpless creature I ever laid eyes on with his weeping.  

I was flarin' up like a bonfire, and suddenly I was more bitter than a winter's night. I stared out the window at the storm and kicked the ground on which I stood. How dare they do this to mah hubby! Why of all the cruel, sick jokes... I certainly was no sweet mare right then. You mess with my family, 'specially my AJ, and you gonna have problems, that much is on the house. If you love someone, then you ain't gonna it take it well when someone messes with 'em. They'd reduced my sweetheart to tears and shame, and all I could think about was revenge. They think this is funny?Ah'll show them funny...

"Who did this to you?" I snarled, turning back my head back to him.

But when I turned my head back and once again saw that sweet creature in the pain he was in, my heart sank and my anger did melt away into humiliation, pity, and concern. Here that mild human I ever so love was in front of me, cryin' his eyes out with his face in the ground, and what was I doin' but plotting revenge and on the ponies that done it, not givin' him my love that he needed now more then ever.  

I walked my pony self right up to his head and laid down beside it. I set my hoof on his head, and I felt his new skin for the first time, sleek and tough, when began to pet him, steerin' clear of a few short blue spikes in the center of his head. I could see him a lot better now, and I saw that his body and belly were completely black, but on his limbs, head, and tail he had neon blue stripes, but that wasn't much concern to me. I just wanted him to feel better, and know I was there for him.  

"Hey, hey," I whispered, my voice back to the tone he's always found to be so sweet. "It's alright. It's alright, ah'm here now, and ah'm gonna look after you. Don't you worry sugarcube, we'll have you back the way you was in no time." I said softly, giving him a smile. I gently placed my hoof on the other side of his head and turned it towards me. I wanted him to find the comfort in my stare that he'd always found before. He turned his big head upward and his big, teary eyes widened as he looked at me in the eyes.

"There, there, it's alright sugarcube," I hushed as I rocked his head in my forelegs. I saw that amidst his sadness, he right away started feelin' the same peace and rest that my love had always brought him. "We been here before, these 'er just... different circumstances is all."

He didn't move, not even a twitch of a muscle, but I could feel himself embracing me with his head, taking it in all in, and I felt his heart relaxing by the minute as I gave it my own. It was still AJ, still the same gentle human inside. As his crying, his heart beat, and his breathing began to slow down, we just continued layin' there like that a for a long moment. There wasn't any doubt it had been as comforting for me as it was for him. But after some time I began to wonder to myself who had done this and why. Maybe it was just some ponies lookin' fer a joke... Part of me tried to tell myself it was just a temporary prank some random pony had decided to play, but I knew in my heart that this just didn't seem right. Even as an earth pony I was able to reckon that this is some serious magic we're talkin'. This seemed maybe even beyond Twilight's abilities. That was not the most encouraging thought I ever had. Maybe Twilight can help us though? Right then, I seemed to notice he'd been awfully quiet, hardly makin' a sound but for his breathing and his silent sobs.

"Who did this, sugarcube? If you don't mind my asking, that is?"

AJ removed his head from me, and his eyes were suddenly wide with fear as they stared at me, almost like he was ashamed of what I'd asked him. He had what seemed like big ears on his head, kinda like a pony's, only a little bigger; they dropped down as though he was embarrassed. Though he also had two small plates on the side of his head, and I couldn't tell if they were ears also or if they were ears and the others weren't or nothin'. I had noticed that his emotions and expressions were every bit as they had been when he was human.

He opened his mouth, and far from the sweet, kind voice I was so used to hearin', nothing but a low, noisy groan rumbled out. Aside from that his mouth was filled with sharp teeth. I never had no reason to be stickin' my head in his mouth in the first place, but, uh... Yikes... Ah' don't think we'll be kissin' much for the time bein'.  He immediately dropped his head in shame as though humiliated by what had come out of his mouth. Right then I blushed. I knew what was up.

"Oh," I said, as I smiled as loving and understanding as I know how. I almost giggled in embarrassment for him. The poor boy couldn't talk none. I had always thought most dragons could talk, but apparently not AJ. Just before he could begin to weep again, I stole his head and once again brought it to me.

"Hey, hey, it's alright, it's alright, shhh," I continued, as he began to relax once more, burying his head on me. One thing was sure as sugar; he does make a cute dragon. I put both hooves under his chin and held his eyes right up to mine with a soft smile.

"Ya know yer still mine. Ya also know that yer even an adorable dragon?" I whispered.

His eyes widened with a kind of foal-like excitement, and I could almost here his voice. "I am?" We were both having a rough night, but even I was able to chuckle at his innocence. I took a long sigh as I also took a long, deep look into his troubled eyes. There's a lot ah' ain't sure about, but at least we got each other safe n' sound. We gonna have a busy day tomorrow, ah' think. I put my hoof on his head again and began to slowly encourage it down to the hay.

"Let's figure this out in the mornin', huh sugarcube?"

He let out a sigh that I understood to be an "ok" (though it was really more of a deep grumble). He had been mostly laying on his side, but he twisted over on his belly and wrapped his long, strong tail up around us. The top of the tail had short narrow spikes, but the bottom was just his sleek, black hyde. This was almost kinda funny to me, in a 'specially sweet way; wrapping my tail around him has always been a favorite of mine.

"Guess ya know how ah' feel now," I said. For the first time that night, in a manner I found 'specially fascinating, he actually smiled at me but for a short moment, and I was quickly reminded how much I'm in love. It was a bit queer to see a dragon his size smile so warmly and tenderly, but no less lifting and encouraging than they've always been. I was very thankful his emotions and expressions were kept so intact, if almost even more readable given his bein' unable to talk.

He suddenly raised his head and looked with concern towards the barn door before he stared into the darkness in a deep thought.

"Everything ok honey?" I said, who had been watching him intently of course. He turned his eyes to me, and I could tell he was saying something to me in his mind. I read him as best I could, and for a long time. We seemed to come to terms with each other that that he couldn't tell me, but his stare seemed to assure me somethin' like "Trust me". I wasn't sure exactly what he wanted, but I instinctively nodded my head, because I certainly trust him.

AJ turned his head down and looked behind himself upside down, seemin' to be starin' at his body. Since we were near the corner (right corner comin' through the door), he slowly brought his tail back around so it was running down the wall just beside us. He watched himself carefully and then turned around, and staring straight ahead, uneasily but with a lot of focus in his eyes. As he straightened himself up, he looked at me as though for strength to help him stand up, and I did my best from where I was. We fall together so we can get up together. Naturally I guess, I stood myself up as well as he began to, watching him with great care. This was a sign to me that he'd only been like this for a short time before I got here, as he hadn't even seemed to move.

He stood up, but this time I could really see him. He sent me another shameful look that seemed he was begging me to look away. I never thought I'd see my best friend this way. With his head raised, his eyes were two feet or so above mine. He wings were also mightier than I realized; when he tried stretching 'em out, I wondered that if he stood in the center of the barn and stretched 'em out as wide as he could if they could touch both the walls. I ain't no mathmagician, but I'd reckon his length from head to tail maybe thirty, thirty-five feet. This ain't the spell of some random unicorn.

"What have they done to you, honey?" I cried softly. Yet he was, quite honestly, an elegant and handsome dragon. I could see there was a lot on his mind, that much I think a young foal could figure out. I felt so bad for him. I could only imagine how awkward this was for him.

He started to lift his legs and move towards the barn door, his tail tragging behind him. He eyes and his mind was focused on somethin', and for the first time that night, I think somepony could look at him in his new look and actually be intimidated. I had stood still, but when he moved for the door I got worried.

"Sugarcube? Are you goin' somewhere?"

He turned his head around and his eyes softened for a moment once again as he shook his head side to side. He looked at me a little longer with that same "trust me" look before he turned around walked slowly towards the barn door. I won't say I wasn't worried, I knew he wasn't leavin' me, but I watched him. I promised I'd take care of him. I think by me taking care of him, he was also taking care of me. I don't think I could bare it if I couldn't be with him that night. I also worried he might wake up the family. They wouldn't take it so well I don't think. They'd be awful scared to see a dragon comin' out of the barn, even if it wasn't a big one.  

He came to the barn door and gently pushed it open with his head. I walked over to the side to get a better look at him. He took a deep breath, and snorted out his nose, I think he was unpleasantly surprised (as I was) to see two clouds of black smoke come right out of his nostrils. He lowered his head and walked outside before he raised it upward, looking up at the top the barn. Immediately the rain fell down on him, and the lightning seemed to light him up in the night. He seemed scared. I think he was lookin' up on the barn to see if some pony was up there, and tried to get used to his new body at the same time. I reckoned maybe he thought whoever done this was still around, and he was just standin' guard. He moved around the barn, and I immediately trotted over to the window. I looked outside and there he was, still lookin' up and around. My poor, poor boy...


He came back into the barn, and the fear was mostly gone from his eyes. He bit the barn door with his mouth and shut it. He turned around and stared blankly ahead, in deep thought. I could only guess at what he was thinking. How to go about getting whoever did this to change him back, and maybe other stuff too. If only he could tell me. I waited for a next move, but it wasn't coming, so I perked my head up.

"All clear?"

He looked up at me and bellowed, I took that to mean "yes".

"Ah'm so sorry honey," I said, shaking my head at him. I meant every word of it with all my heart. I also knew there was one way to fix it. "Ah' think we should get some rest now, honey. We're gonna need it."  

He stood there for a moment and stared at me before his eyes widened like he was happy to see me, unlike before when he was so deeply ashamed and embarrassed by his new appearance. Maybe for the moment he had forgotten his new form, or maybe he just realized I loved him anyway, which was fine with me. I just wanted to see him happy, though I understood and shared in his discomfort. I wouldn't be happy at all if I was turned into a dragon. He walked towards me slowly and his eyes were wide with yearning, and I can't deny the warm feeling I feel inside when he yearns for my comfort.

But when he walked over to the corner where we were, I saw that same depression return as he brought himself into the hay, and looked back at himself with grief, and looked down at his right claw with sorrow. He lowered his head and shut his eyes, I reckon his last anguish before his rest. I once again walked over to him and laid down right beside him.

"Hey," I said, scooting up and resting my head against his. It was quite a different feeling than what I'm used to, but it'll do. "Ah'll have none of that."

He shut his eyes but opened his mouth and cooed. I wasn't used to his new kind a coo neither, but it was just as adorable nonetheless. Suddenly I felt a soft leathery material over me; I looked back and I found he had nestled me under his wing. I felt a stir of that familiar magic in my heart; the magic of friendship and love. I was gonna go back to worrying in the morning I was sure, but not at that moment. Neither of us were.


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