....or

Shit rolls downhill

----------------------------SOMEWHERE IN BEL MARE--------------------------------------------------

Two workers were busy sorting crates in a warehouse owned by Prince Blueblood. They were fairly content with their jobs. Sure the hours were often long and the boxes were heavy, but the prince saw that they were well payed and well taken care of. They had just had a company picnic the day before and another coming up next week. They were some of the best paid workers in Equestria. They also had the best safety record in the city, so, it came as quite a shock when a crate suddenly fell from the forklift onto the back of the supervisor. Luckily, the stallion wasn't crushed into goo, but, he was covered in dirt when said crate shattered. The earth came spilling out and went everywhere.

"Yaaaaaaggghh!" the poor pony cried out in pain when something jabbed into his flank. When he was finally uncovered, he found out what it was. It was a skull. It had the basic shape of a pony's except for two things. A set of extremely elongated fangs jutted from either side of the face. As it was pulled away, the blood from the wounds was absorbed into the pointy teeth. Other bones and various parts dragged themselves from the dirt pile and began assembling themselves on the floor before the horrified ponies. They watched aghast as flesh and sinew and skin stretched and covered discolored bone. Finally, the skin of the creature before them sprouted a white coat highlighted with a jet black mane. It stirred and raised its head bellowed.

"I. LIIIIIIIIIVVVVVEEEEE......AGAIN!" He then noticed the trio in front of him. They figured it was time to leave. The last one to move happened to notice a board from the crate lying next to the door. The dark writing on it confirmed her fears. She had to get word to Canterlot fast.

"Prancylvania"

----------------------------------------------Back in Canterlot-----------------------------------------------

Celestia smiled warmly at the two before her. They were eager to get started, and had a general idea of what to do.

"You can start whenever you're ready. First though, Anthony, my sister wanted a word with you. In private. She should be in her room. Just go on in, she should be waiting on you." I got up and excused myself from the table and made my way out.  "Andrew? I would like to talk with you myself." she said as I closed the massive doors to the dinning hall. P.S. was hanging around just outside looking out a window watching a pegasus doing some maintenance on some overhang. I recalled seeing her around from time to time. Shaking my head, I moved on about my task. It was a little odd, I had been in many areas of the castle, but never in the princesses' personal wing. It wasn't hard to find though. Being it was theirs, I figured it was in the oldest section of the castle. Like I said, it wasn't hard to find, but it was near the top of one of the towers. If I had been there before, I could have just teleported, but no, I got to take the scenic route. The tapestries were nice to look at, as were the stained glass windows. One that caught my eye showed Twilight and her friends doing....something to a black and blue colored alicorn. I'd have to ask Luna about that one. Maybe they were related? I climbed the seemingly infinite stairs and finally reached Luna's personal floor. Yes, floor. She had her own floor, and it was themed around the night. The colors were all cool night and evening shades. The stars on the ceiling were actually twinkling! I let out a low whistle.

"Fan-cy.."

"It is, isn't it?" came a feminine voice from somewhere.

"YIPE!" I yelped, and jumped high enough to almost grab one of the stars. The voice chuckled and a form floated out of a shadow. A  pegasus with bat wings sat flapping in front of me. A single streak of pure white ran through her mane. I glared at her. Judging by where I was, what she was, and her armor, she was Luna's personal guard.

"High strung?" She asked. I just glared in response. "Don't take it personally, I'm  it's my job to keep watch here. Speaking of.. What business do you have here?" Her expression turned from mild amusement to annoyance. Sounds like someone woke up under the bed this morning. Or last night maybe?

"Uh, Celest-ahem- Princess Celestia sent me. She said her sister requested it." I replied, regaining my composure.

"How do I know you're not lying?"

"Um, uhh..."

The guard-pony snickered. "Don't worry about it, princess Celestia told me last night. I've been expecting you. Name's Moonshine." she said, extending her hoof. I shook it. She motioned behind her. "Door at the end of the hall, you can't miss it." With that she returned to her shadow and just, kind of melted into it, her golden eyes shining. Not creepy at all. She blinked . gulp. Nope. Not at all.

Her door was adorned with with a large carving of a crescent moon. I knocked and the thing opened on the first tap. Curiosity made me poke my head in. It was as dark as midnight. I could just make out a desk, a couch, some book cases a large lump on the bed and,..oh. I guess I had to wake her up. Crap. On the other hand, I'd probably never get this opportunity again. An evil grin spread across my face. This would be epic in it's simplicity. I snuck over and eased onto the bed next to the sleeping form of the royal sister. I turned over to look her in the face, a huge grin still on my face as her eyes fluttered open.

"Wha-huh?" she mumbled. It took a second for her eyes to focus on her new bed-mate.

"Morning, sweetie." I almost purred. She blinked a couple of times.

"AAAAAAAAAIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!"

I realized the foolishness of my decision as I sailed through the air and into the wall. I had decided to pick on one of the most powerful ponies around. Not my best idea. I lay there trying to clear the stars out of my vision before I realized I was looking at the ceiling. One word summarized my thoughts. "....ow."

Luna was standing in the middle of her bed, her eyes shrunk to pin pricks, breathing heavily. She calmed down after a few moments, and realized what happened. She waited until I managed to crawl back over to her before offering an icepack.

"Hardy-har-har. Reporting as requested, your highness. What's on your mind?" I asked, forming a small ball of ice on my sore neck. Having an affinity for ice magic does come in handy from time to time. She yawned and sat up across from me on the floor.

"My sister has no doubt told you of our offer, which you accepted or you wouldn't be here. You remember the part about the official title?" she asked. I nodded. "Aside from that, both of you will be representing us individually. I have chosen you to represent myself. That is why you are here now, to receive my personal seal. Step forward." She said, rising to her hooves. I did the same and stood before her. Her horn glowed and she touched to my own. Many years ago, just before Christmas, my parents had brought out the decorations and asked me to organize them while they went and picked out a tree. They left and I started opening boxes and sorting. It didn't take long before I was done. Everything was in order, except for one thing. The star for the top of the tree had a damaged plug. Being as I was done sorting, I decided to try and fix it. The plastic around the prongs had disintegrated. Just to make sure it did in fact work, I decided to plug it in. One prong in each hand. I tell you that in order to tell you this. The sensation that flowed through my body was nothing at all like getting hit with the full house current at six years old. Not even remotely. It did, however, feel like fire flowing from my head to my hooves. It subsided in a few seconds and coalesced into a ball in my chest. I fell over, gasping for air. When I was finally able to stand, I looked down and saw a white crescent moon on a black background emblazoned there. Not entirely unlike the piece she herself often wore.

"You are now my personal representative, my deputy. Anything you do now, it will be as though I, myself have acted. Your friend, Andy, is getting a similar token from my dear sister. You are dismissed." I bowed and thanked her, and left. I was almost out the door when she called me back. "One more thing. My sister and I have had our guards collect some of the more interesting items that have been appearing. We are keeping them in the royal archive, just past the StarSwirl the Bearded section. Maybe you could find something useful in there." she said with a wink. Huh. I wonder what could be in there? I wonder what she would consider "interesting"? I closed her door and was almost to the stairs when I suddenly remembered.

"The window!" I shouted and spun to go back and ask only to come face to face with pure terror cleverly disguised as a bat-pony.

"boo."

I screamed like a little girl shouted in attempt to frighten them. She fell over laughing. I failed miserably. I snorted and kept walking. Moonshine got up and cleared her throat. "Sorry 'bout that. You're just to easy. So, what did the Princess want with....." she trailed off as she finally noticed my emblem. The color drained from her face. She snapped to attention. "Sorry sir. It won't happen again." she said.

....wat?

"What are you talking about? Why the sudden change in attitude?" I asked, after I recovered from my confusion. She cocked her head to the side.

"The princess didn't explain what that mark means?" she asked in disbelief. I shook my head.

"Not really. She called me her "deputy", but I don't really understand." I answered. "Could you please explain?" I motioned to a bench and we both sat down. She breathed a sigh of relief.

"Well, like she said, you're her deputy. You have her authority. You're her knight." She said quietly. My jaw hit the floor. I think some tiles may have cracked when I realized that Andy was getting the same treatment from the other sister. I decided to keep that to myself though. Moony (heh) continued. "There's not all." A piece of plaster fell from the ceiling underneath us and landed on the head of a pony napping below. Storm Wing sat up with a start, looking around before remembering he was blind and returning to his nap.

"There's more?" I asked. She nodded.

"It also gives you the honorary rank of Captain in the Lunar Guard." She said quietly. Another piece of plaster landed in Stormwing's coffee, splashing him. The angry pegasus bellowed.

"SONOFA.... KNOCK IT OFF UP THERE!"

"SCREW YOU!" A muffled voice answered. Moonshine and I looked at each other.

"What was that all about?"

"No idea."

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Several minutes later, (and way too many flights of stairs) I was in the Archives. The StarSwirl the Bearded section was locked down tight. Just past it, however was a small, plain wooden door with a funny shaped lock. A small round hole with the symbols of the sun and moon above it. Luna hadn't given me a key, so I guess I had to pick it. Then, the genius that I am, realized I didn't have any tools either. I lit my horn and examined the hole. The lock started glowing as well.

"Oh. It reacts to magic. Am I supposed to put my horn in there or something?" I asked out loud. If someone had answered, I probably would have shat myself. Oh, well. Nothing left to to but give it a try then. I put my horn in and felt the lock respond almost immediately. It swung open with a slight groan to reveal..... a spiral staircase leading even further down. I could see faint torchlight at the bottom. It didn't look that far down. I grinned and decided to have a little fun. Channeling some energy into my horn, I cast a freezing spell on the stairs. Ice climbed up the sides, up to the banisters. After it was a couple inches thick, I backed up and took  running leap, landing on my belly with an "OOF!" Best. Slide. Ever. I heard some flapping beside me and saw Andy floating down through the middle of the stairs. "What are you doing here?" I asked him. I had to give him credit, he was keeping time with me. He shrugged.

"Celestia told me to meet you here. Said we might find something interesting. She said the stuff in here was "top secret"." he said, making air quotes with his talons. I gave him a look of mock disbelief.

"Secret? I didn't know about any secret!" My griffon friend just facetaloned.

"By the way, you're running out of stairs. How do you plan on stopping?" He asked from behind his talon. i opened my mouth to speak, but nothing came out. I hadn't considered that. I was about to ask for an air lift out of there when my hooves hit stone and I was sent tumbling end over end into the wall under the torch, which fell and landed in some of the melted ice and went out. Andy landed with a light thud and we looked in front of us. In the dark, we could just make out the outline of a door. I stood and lit my horn again, bathing us in a pale, bluish-white light. I hadn't noticed the change a minute ago. This must be from the mark Luna gave me. It was then I noticed a gleam around Andy's neck. A golden medallion bearing the sun sat upon his chest. He saw me staring and explained.

"This is the emblem Celestia gave me. Where's the one from Luna?" He asked. I pointed to my moon.

"Heh. Mine's a little more permanent. Anyway, back to the door. How do we open it?" I asked. I looked and saw another lock. This one had a slot like a vending machine. Too easy. Andy took it off and put it halfway in and turned it. It swung open with ease. the room we were in was huge. Andy found a switch on the wall and flipped it. Rows upon rows of lights popped on revealing just how cavernous it really was. The both of us were stunned. "My God. It's like we're in Warehouse Thirteen." It was just as full. Oh this stuff was interesting all right. Our eyes were immediately drawn to what appeared to be a delta-wing aircraft.  It was dinged up in a few places. Andy was the first to comment. Upon closer inspection, it was a spacecraft. A. FIGGING. SPACECRAFT

"What a piece of junk!"

"Bet it'll do point five past lightspeed."

"Bullshit."

I walked over and took a closer look. "Well, we ain't gonna find out anyway, the engines is full of holes." I said with a slap to the engines. A hollow gong sound echoed around us. "Lets keep looking. There's no telling what's down here." Sometime later, Andy called out from across the room. When I reached him he looked white as a sheet. He was laying on the ground, sputtering. An ice cold hoof-slap to the face brought him around.

"I-It's him."

"Who?"

"That guy! In the painting!" He said pointing to a shadowed corner. I walked over and flipped over the painting, which had fallen on its side.

"SHIT!" I shouted and froze the painting in a three foot thick block of ice. What the hell was Viggo the Carpathian doing here? It looks like reality was torn up worse than we thought. I staggered backwards into something solid and a cloth dropped on me. Freeing myself, I turned around and saw...myself Or almost myself. I squinted. The features looking back at me were a little off, but there was no denying who it was. Oh, this is going to be hilarious. I looked up and sure enough a small label read "mirror 63". "Hey, Andy! Check this out!" The grey griffon sauntered over and looked.

...

...

...

"I'VE GOT FEATHER BOOBS!" he shouted. We were indeed looking at female versions of ourselves. It was funny and a little creepy. "Dude, quit touching my wings."

"What?"

"My wings. Stop rubbing them. I can see it in the mirror!"

"What are you talking about? I haven't moved." I answered him. We looked at each other, then back at our reflections. My "reflection" stopped and went bug eyed with surprise.

"Crap they're on to us! Play us off Johnny!" she hollered. Andy's reflection jumped on her back and they hauled tail out of there. He looked back at me.

"I guess there's a reason this stuff is down here." he said. I simply nodded and covered the mirror up.

"Let us never speak of this again." I mumbled.

"Agreed. Though that reflection of yours was pretty cute though." Andy said with a cough.

"Ew.......What the hell did I just say?" With that we went back to searching the archives/warehouse. I was admiring some angelic statues when something else caught my eye. It looked like a deflated hot air balloon. Upon closer inspection, it was a very familiar hot air balloon. "Hey feather-brain! Get over here! I think I found us some transportation. I heard some clinking and soon the source came around the corner. Andy had found some armor and a sword. How he got his claws on it, I'll never know, but sure enough, he bore the Hyllian shield and Master sword. That and the biggest grin I'd ever seen him wear. "Found some new toys, eh?" I asked. He nodded. "Well, just look at whose balloon I found over there." He looked to where I pointed and dropped the sword.

"Is that what I think it is?" he asked, shaking.

"It is. It's in good condition too. We just need to get some propane for the burner, and helium to fill it up." I squealed, barely containing my own glee. He reached around and pulled a small box off his back and tossed it to me. I opened it and found an old six shot revolver. I think I'll hold on to that. It might come in handy. I gathered everything in a pale aura and teleported us and our Meowth balloon to the front of the castle. Andy flew off to get the supplies he'd gathered. Seeing as he'd be gone for a few minutes, I took stock of how many bullets I had for the gun. Eight. Eight rounds total. I decided to take a couple of test shots to see just what kind of power the gun had. I loaded two into the cylinder and took aim at a tree about thirty feet away. Holding the pistol in my magic grip, I squeezed the trigger.

WHAM!

I was no stranger to guns. I got a bb gun for Christmas when I was four. I got my first twenty-two when I was ten. I fired my first twelve gauge at thirteen and a ten gauge a year later. Out of all those, this dinky little....thing, sat me on my ass, and I wasn't even touching it! I looked up at the tree, or rather at what used to be the tree. The target now sported a silver-dollar sized hole with a thin layer of trunk missing from about three inches around the edge. What amazed me even more was the spike of ice coming  from the other side of the tree. Andy came tearing back to the balloon with the supplies, plus the propane and helium. He had gotten rid of the armor, and just kept the sword and shield.

"What in the hell was that?" he shouted, dropping his load. I just pointed to the gun.

"She did it." He stared at the arboreal carnage. Frost had begun to spread from the hole in the wood. He looked back at me with a raised eyebrow.

"She? Does she have a name, smart one?" I though for a minute and answered.

"She does. I think I'll call her, Frostbite." He shook his head and started filing the balloon. It went rather quickly.

"We kind of need to hurry. That noise scared the guards and every pony in there is freaking out." He said as the balloon was just about ready. He walked toward the basket and stopped and turned. "Why couldn't you just teleport us to the library to pick up Twilight instead of this?" He asked. I blinked. Honestly, the thought hadn't occurred to me. I wrapped us all in my new, pale aura and tried it. I swear I heard a sound similar to a car's engine trying to turn over. I tried a couple of more times with the same result. "Well, what's the hold up?"

"I think that shot took more out of me than I thought." I answered him. I levitated the gun in the air and it was shaky. "That's about all I can manage right now, I think I need to "recharge" a while." The balloon was full, the supplies were loaded and it was time to go. I was just about to climb in when our former escort came galloping out to us with a scroll in his mouth. I took it from him.

"Celestia said it was urgent." He informed us. I thanked him and he left. I opened the scroll and read it out loud.

"Andrew and Anthony yadda yadda yadda your first stop needs to be in Bel Mare. Yadda yadda yadda we fear for Blueblood's life! Get there immediately! Blablahblah yakkity-smackity, Celestia."

"Whelp, it looks like our first stop is decided. Let's go get the librarian and make tracks! Oh and make sure the sound system we found in the basket is working. I have an idea."

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Twilight and her friends were planning a picnic for this fine spring day. Winter Wrap-up had gone off without a hitch and everypony was taking the day to just relax. She had a nice big red and white checkered blanket spread out on the lawn behind the library. Rarity had provided plates and cups, china of course. Applejack had brought a keg of her renowned cider and a few dozen assorted apple based pastries. Pinkie Pie decided to bring themed cupcakes. Twilight admired the pink pony's work. There were two cupcakes themed for each of them. There were also four he couldn't account for. Two grey ones and two dark blue ones. Curiosity got the better of her and she decided to ask.

"Uh, Pinkie? You know there are only six of us, right?"

"Well, duh!" came her reply.

"Well then, who are the others for?"

"It's a surprise silly!" The pink baker answered. Twilight shook her head. She had learned a long time ago not to try and understand that one. The soft flapping of wings announced Fluttershy's arrival. The custard yellow pegasus sat the basket she had brought down and pulled out a couple of plates of egg salad sandwiches, cut into little triangles.

"Is Rainbow Dash on her way, Fluttershy?" Twilight asked. The timid pegasus shook her head.

"Sorry, Twilight. She said to tell you that there was some trouble at the rainbow factory that she had to take care of. Something about a "color extractor not working right" or something like that." she answered. Oh, well. the lavender unicorn thought to herself.

"LET'S EAT!" Pinkie shouted. Everyone agreed. Twilight was just about to take a bite of an apple danish when an odd shadow covered the scene. And, was that screaming she heard?

---------------------------------------------5 minutes prior---------------------------------------------------------

"Alright, we're almost over the library. Let's do a quick sound check." the grey griffon said. I ran a last check on the connections and everything looked in order. I hit the play button.

"Music? Check!" I confirmed. Andy looked over his shoulder. Something was heading right for us.

"Duck." he said. I looked around the basket.

"Duck? Not check. Wait. Duck? What are you talking about?" I looked up just as a pony shaped missile filled with Derpy impacted me and sent the two of us over the edge of the basket. "WHHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAATTTTTTTTT THHHHHHHEEEEEE FFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUU......."

---------------------------------------------5 min after the 5 min prior------------------------------------------------------

All five ponies on the ground heard the sound now and looked up. They looked up in time to see a tumbling mass of pony heading right for them. They all scattered, but not before Pinkie came back and grabbed the box of cupcakes.

"UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU"-SPLAT!

Everypony came back out from where they had taken shelter and saw the carnage. It was a horrible sight. Utter devastation. The blanket was soaked in cider. Broken plates and cups were everywhere. The sandwiches were a total loss. The worst of all was the apple pastries. They had taken a direct hit. Applejack shed a tear. A loud groan emanated from the crater that now occupied the space where they had been a moment ago. A grey hoof pulled they pony it was attached to out of the hole. Derpy was more or less fine, save for a mussed up mane. She turned back to the hole and stuck her hoof down in to it. Applejack peeked over the edge.

"Y'all alright down there?"

"My only regret is that I have....boneitis.." I answered with a cough.

"I just don't know what went wrong." She said apologetically. I accepted her hoof and climbed out myself.

"That makes two of us." I agreed. Andy's loud laughing drifted down from where he still sat in the balloon.

"M-M-M-My china....destroyed." came Rarity's trembling voice. I rolled my eyes.

"We're fine Rarity. Thanks for asking." I replied. The shell-shocked mare just stared at the remains of the picnic. Twilight came trotting up with an annoyed expression on her face.

"You're early. I wasn't expecting you until tomorrow." she said sternly. I filled her in on the details as Andy tied off the balloon to a tree a short distance away. Pinkie brought out the remaining cupcakes as the others packed up and left. Andy the griffon swallowed his two in one gulp, paper and all. I offered one of mine to Derpy so she wouldn't feel left out. "That's quite a lot to take in. We'll need to leave as soon as possible. I'm actually already packed. So I just need to go and get it and we can leave. If Celestia's nephew is in as much trouble as it sounds like, we need to move." the studious librarian said. Derpy quickly pulled me aside.

"Do you really have to go now?" she asked. She looked a little nervous. I nodded.

"Kinda, yeah. Why?" I asked. She grinned.

"There's somepony special I want you to meet." she said. I arched an eyebrow.

"Who?" She got behind me and started pushing.

"It's a surprise. Just come on!" She grunted. Well, then.

"Looks like I'll  be back in a bit then." I called back to the unicorn and griffon as I was shoved down the street. Derpy kept pushing me until we came to a decent sized cottage. She had me wait in front of the door while she opened it. A purpleish-grey blur nearly tackled her back into me. That, however was not what got my attention. It's what the little blur said.

"MOMMY! YOU'RE BACK!"

"Mommy?" I asked. The little filly jumped when she heard me and looked up.

"Oh! Hello. Are you one of mommy's friends? My name's Dinky, what's yours?" she asked. Derpy stood back up, beaming.

"This is my daughter." she said proudly. I looked at her, then back at the child. One of her eyes started to wander. Yep. That one belongs to her alright. I recalled her briefly mentioning her during our earlier adventure. Now that I actually saw the filly, she was adorable. I leaned down to eye-level with her.

"I am a friend of hers. My name's Anthony." I said and ruffled her mane. It almost covered her horn. Derpy leaned down and nuzzled her.

"Are you all packed kiddo?" she asked. Packed? Packed for what?

"I sure am. It'll be fun staying with Pinkie Pie and the Cakes while you're gone again. It won't be the same without you though, mommy." she added with a frown. Derpy thought she was coming too? I pulled her off to the side for a second.

"What do you think you're doing?" I asked her. She smiled.

"I already told you. I'm sticking around until this is over, like it or not. Just let me go get my bags." she said. Her and Dinky went inside and returned a minute later with two large bundles. Shortly, Mrs. Cake walked up and the blue mare and the filly walked back to the bakery together. Derpy waved and turned to me.

"I'm ready, let's go. they're probably waiting on us."

"You could say that." Twilight said from above us. We both gave a little start and looked up at the smirking unicorn. "Should we wait and leave in the morning or go now? It doesn't really matter to me either way." she said. I tossed Derpy's stuff inside and the two of us climbed in.

"Let's go on now. I've never flown at night before. Or at all for that matter, except for the way here." I said. Everyone either shrugged or nodded in agreement. Andy fired up the burner and before long Ponyville was just a speck in the distance. The view was magnificent! It was sunset and the colors just played over the open sky. I looked down to see where exactly we were and remembered something very important.

"You alright down there?" Twilight asked. I weakly nodded from my heap on the floor. "Forget we were scared of heights?" I nodded again. Andy facetaloned.

"This is going to be a long trip."