Discord's House of Chaos
by DannyJ
First published
A recently freed Discord tries to reform a pair of thieves in a chaotic game.
Discord is a new draconequus now, and sworn to use his powers only for good, but that doesn't mean he can't still have some chaotic fun while on the job. Tasked with helping to reform a pair of thieves hiding out in an abandoned apartment building, the Spirit of Chaos decides to make a game of it. Two lost souls find their lives on the line as they gamble their freedom in a battle of wits against a grand master, in his own House of Chaos.
Chapter 1: Cops and Robbers
Discord. Once upon a time, it was a name that struck fear into the hearts of mortal ponies. Then for an age it was the name of a mythical creature, spoken of by parents trying to scare their children into behaving. "Be good little fillies, or Discord will get you," they'd say. Then he was forgotten, and another age was spent in ignorance to his existence, with even the fairytale version of him becoming obscure and unknown. Then, finally, he broke free again. And then he was imprisoned again. And then he got paroled. And now, "Discord" is a name one can find in the yearly census.
And so Equestria learned to fear Discord once again.
In a small moonlit alley in the depths of the city, two stallions dragged along a pair of burlap sacks, which clattered and clanged with the sound of the metal inside.
"Are you sure we're good to hide out here, boss?" asked the tan earth pony as he dragged along the larger sack.
The grey pegasus in front of him grunted in frustration. He spat out the end of the second bag that and let it drop loudly to the floor. He winced as it did, and turned to face his underling.
"Mask, listen to me," he said seriously. "I messed up. I admit that. It's my fault, and I'm sorry. But listen... We can't let ourselves get caught now. Not after all the trouble we went through for this."
Mask nervously looked over his shoulder.
"But boss—"
"I know!" the pegasus seethed. "I know. But it's too late now. They're not going to forgive and forget after this, and the law will be after us in a matter of hours. All we can do is hole up here, and just wait it out. We can make a run for Fix's house in a few days when we've got a clear getaway. He'll be able to help us out. If nopony catches us with the stolen goods, they can't prove we did anything!"
"I... I still don't know..." Mask fretted. "Shady, are you sure this place is safe?"
"Positive. It's been abandoned since it was bought out by Mixer Construction."
He flapped his wings and hovered up a little way. In the dark of the alley, one could only barely see the fire escape above them, but Shady soon dropped back down with the bottom rung of the ladder held in his teeth. He let it go, and the sound of the ladder striking the floor also echoed through the alley.
"Hey!" Mask whispered. "Careful, boss! Somepony'll hear!"
Shady snorted. "Nopony lives around here anymore. Quit worrying."
He grabbed the bag he was carrying before and flew up a level, depositing it on the balcony. Then he fluttered down and carried up the second bag as his companion climbed the ladder. Once they were both on the balcony, Mask pulled the ladder back up again, while Shady turned to the glass window next to them and bucked it in, shattering it into tiny pieces with a loud and sudden crash.
"Oh, come on!" said Mask. "There's a door right there!"
"It'll be locked," Shady said with a roll of his eyes. "Easier to just break the window."
There was a beat, before Mask reached over to the wooden door, turned the handle, and easily pushed the door open. Shady blinked.
"Okay, be fair, that's like a one in a million thing. There's no way you could have known it was open."
Mask shrugged and picked up his sack again.
"Whatever you say, boss."
The Sunshine House apartment complex was indeed abandoned. More than that, though, it was dusty and derelict. The place was meant to have been demolished years ago, but for whatever reason, it never happened. The Mixer Construction Company had purchased the land with intentions of building new office spaces here, but as sometimes happened in the construction business, the project had been abandoned, and the old building was simply left to stand.
Now it was aged and ugly. Walls were missing and broken. Rats and other animals lived in the dark corners of the building. Graffiti and litter could be found sporadically around the place. And what few rooms still had furniture (or any other kind of indication that there was once life here) were completely trashed. It was a hollow shell of the place it once was, but for the immediate future, it would have to serve.
"Eurgh. Are you serious, boss? We have to stay here?"
"I know it doesn't look like much, but—"
"Really, here? Look at this place! It's filthy! It's full of rats! It's cold!"
"Mask, please shut up."
Shady trotted out from the small room they had entered through, and out into the long, empty corridor. Standing there, he could see all the doors in their various states of disrepair. Some had been left hanging open. Others were closed. Locked, even. At least one had been torn off its hinges, and now lay in the middle of the floor at the far end.
"Hmm..." Shady frowned. "If I recall correctly, some vagrants used to live in the basement of this complex. It should be warmer down there."
"...We're going to sleep in the basement?"
"Yes. We're going to sleep in the basement. Have you got a problem with that?"
"Umm... No..."
"Because if you want to leave, you can go right outside and hail a taxi right now. Or a police patrol."
"Fine!" Mask threw up his hooves. "Point taken!"
"Good. Get the sack."
He grumbled, but obediently did so, and followed his boss and partner in crime down the dusty corridor as a chill wind blew through.
"See? This isn't so bad."
Compared to the rest of the complex, it really wasn't. The basement was still full of litter, but it was had all been brushed into the corner. Rats still scurried about, but they retreated into their holes in the wall when the two stallions entered. And it was definitely warmer down here, even if the ancient boiler in the corner wasn't actually functional. There was even a relatively clean bed in one corner, likely taken from one of the apartments above. "Relatively" being the important word; it was still covered in dust, and the mattress was crusty, but it at least wasn't coated with grime or full of animal droppings like some other parts of the building.
Mask sighed. "I guess not..."
"Hey, come on. Smile! Show a little optimism! Things may not look so good right now, but you'll see! This will all be worth it in the end..."
Shady dumped his burlap sack onto the floor, and the contents spilled out. Plates and goblets of silver and gold, loose bits of jewellery, a fancy-looking candlestick, some formal cutlery, and even some folded silk bed sheets all now covered the floor. Mask followed suit and dropped his load as well.
"You'll see," Shady repeated. "Just bear with me for now. You won't regret this in a few days."
"I hope not, boss."
It had already been late when the two stallions arrived, so it was well into the early morning when they finally drifted off to sleep. There was only a single bed, but it was big enough for them to not have to worry about kicking each other in the night.
The real problem was the cold. Despite the basement being warmer than the draughty building above them, Mask still lamented not bringing along his unicorn friend who knew that heating spell, and entertained fantasies of her getting the old boiler they slept next to up and running again. He had also considered using the silk bed sheets they had stolen as an additional layer, but Shady had refused on the grounds that he didn't want to get the merchandise as filthy as this place was.
As he shivered in the bed, tossing and turning and trying to pull more covers over himself, Mask awoke to the sound of a distant, echoing laughter. He immediately sat up, looking around for whatever he had heard, but there was nothing in the darkness.
Weird... he thought. I could have sworn I heard...
He shrugged it off.
"Probably just my imagination," he muttered.
But just as he lay back down, he heard it again, clearer this time. He shot back upright.
Okay, I know I heard something that time.
Quietly as he could, Mask climbed out of the bed, around the boss, and tiptoed across the floor of the basement. He perked his ears, listening for the sound again, trying to find the source, but it never came a third time. Instead, there was a creaking somewhere above him. He looked over to the corner of the room, at the doorway to the stairs that led up to the ground level. There was another creaking sound, and the door opened by itself, letting silver moonlight spill through.
Wait a moment. That can't be moonlight.
Those stairs just led up to the interior of the apartment complex, not to the outside. What was that light? Where was it coming from? He edged his way across the floor, and poked his head around the corner of the door frame to look up the stairs, but the light was too bright for him to see its source.
Mask glanced back at the bed, where the boss still slept, and considered waking him to show him this strange phenomenon. But some part of him, some curious part, insisted that he didn't need Shady, that he could discover the truth for himself, if only he pushed on alone. So with a nervous gulp, Mask climbed the stairs, and disappeared into the light.
...Well, this is unexpected.
When Mask reached the top of the stairs, he felt as if he'd stepped through a portal to another world. Sunshine House was gone, and he had instead exited into what looked like an operating theatre. The silvery light from wasn't moonlight, as he'd initially thought, but was instead coming from the theatre's lights above them. In the middle of the room, an elderly brown earth mare lay on an operating table, eyes closed and breathing slowly. She was hooked up to some machine which was making a steady beeping noise, and her face was half-covered by her wispy white mane.
Mask slowly stepped closer to the mare, and ran a hoof along her cheek.
"...Mom?"
Suddenly, a low voice spoke directly into his ear.
"You're not allowed in here."
Mask twisted around to face whoever was behind him, and the colour drained from his face as he beheld the draconequus looming above him. Discord, the Spirit of Chaos himself, smiled at him. His long, snake-like body would have made him as tall as the room's ceiling, even if he were standing on the ground. Instead, though, he floated in the air, bending down so that his face was closer to Mask's, his piercing yellow eyes and sharp teeth just inches away.
And he was dressed up like a doctor.
"I apologise, but only staff are allowed in here," said Discord, drawing back. "There's an operation in progress, you see."
"Wh-What are you doing here?" Mask shouted, as he began breathing heavily. "What are you going to do to me?!"
"'Do to you?'" Discord repeated, frowning. "I'm not going to do anything. I took an oath. You know? 'Do no harm'. Pffff. We'll simply have to call security."
He snapped a talon, and a trio of police ponies in blue uniforms appeared.
"Hey, that's our guy!" shouted one of them, a cobalt blue mare.
They all drew truncheons and rushed at him.
"Oh please no!"
Mask cowered on the floor, attempting to indicate surrender. The three ponies were about to beat him when they were suddenly frozen. And not metaphorically frozen either, but literally encased in ice, and with one of their batons just seconds from impacting with Mask's face. He whimpered at the sight of it, staring up at them as he lay on his back.
Discord's face appeared above him, leaning over the circle of ponies that surrounded him and blocking out the light. He now wore the uniform of a police sergeant.
"My, my," he tutted. "Somepony's broken more than just some hospital regulations, hasn't he?"
With another click the frozen ponies disappeared, and suddenly Mask was hanging upside down in the air, suspended by invisible strings that he could feel around his hooves. He struggled to move while Discord walked up in front of him. He had put on a set of reading glasses, and was now examining a checklist.
"Robber Mask," Discord read out. "Unfortunate name. Quite the career criminal, I see. You've burgled three houses and two major business outlets in this city in the past month alone. You and your friend. What's his name? Ah yes, 'Shady Dealing.' Also unfortunate. I don't understand what it is with pony names. What else could you have been but thieves with names like that?"
Mask whimpered again.
"Oh, hush now. I'm not here to hurt you, dear boy. I'm a new draconequus now! Sworn to use my magnificently chaotic powers only for good. And what better good is there than helping my fellow lost souls find the light, just like me?"
He raised his lion paw and eagle claw, and clapped them together. Those strings tying Mask's hooves suddenly became visible, just in time for a giant pair of scissors to spring into being and cut them. He fell to the floor in a heap and immediately scrambled to get away from Discord.
"There's no escape, you know."
The door that led into the operating theatre vanished in a flash of light.
"Hold on. I feel like I'm forgetting something..." Discord stroked his beard for a moment. "Oh! Of course! Silly me."
Another snap and another flash of light then deposited Shady Dealing in the middle of the room as well. He sat on his haunches as he stared into space, unblinking and seemingly disoriented.
"Hellooooooooo?" said Discord, waving a paw in front of him.
That snapped him out of it, and Shady immediately noticed the chimera in front of him and leapt back in terror. He didn't make a noise, unlike Mask, but his eyes were wide as dinner plates, and he backed away from Discord until he hit a wall.
"Hmm. Same reaction. Curious."
There was another flash. The two ponies now found themselves sitting next to each other, while Discord floated just in front of them. They both tried to flee again, but this time they were stopped by their cuffs, as well as the large ball and chain attached to both of them. Looking at each other first, and then down at themselves, they realised that they were also both dressed in orange jumpsuits now.
"Now, let me explain," said Discord in the tone of a patient schoolteacher. "The both of you have broken a lot of rules tonight, and on several other nights. This city already has enough crime, and Princess Celestia would rather there be less of it. Don't get me wrong, I like the chaotic mess that this city is right now, and in old times I'd be the last person to take orders from old dreary. But as we've established, I'm reformed now. And now, I'm going to reform you two as well."
Mask and Shady looked at each other.
"You mean you're... going to put us into rehab?" asked Shady.
"What? No!" Discord slapped his face. "I said that I was reformed, not that I became boring! Rehab centres are no fun at all. They're where fun goes to die. You'd think a hospital full of utterly mad ponies would be a great place for a creature like me, but I just find them depressing."
He vanished and appeared behind the two of them, putting an arm around both their necks and pulling them together in a big hug.
"No! We're going to do this Discord style! You two and myself are going to play a little game. The setting? This apartment complex. The rules? There are none! I'm just going to set you two loose on this place, and by the morning you're both going to walk out of here as new ponies. I guarantee it."
"You're not gonna... use mind control on us... are you?" asked Mask.
"Yeah, I heard about you and your freaky powers!" Shady agreed. "What was it you did to all those ponies last time? That thing that made them turn grey?"
Discord stroked his beard and made a show of pondering.
"Well, yes. It's true. I could just use a little chaos magic and fix you up right away, at the cost of making you monochrome grey. And you're already grey, so it hardly matters. But, I don't think that would be very sporting of me."
There was another flash, and suddenly he was back in front of them.
"We're doing this the old fashioned way. I'm going to help you change your ways, and I'm going to do it without magically affecting your mind at all. That is the one rule. It's a rule for me. And if I can't do it, then you two win the game; I'll let you leave with all your stolen goods, and I'll even concede a victory prize of erasing all knowledge of your crimes. You'd effectively have a clean slate to start again."
Shady and Mask shared another concerned look.
"...And if we lose?" asked Shady.
"Well, if you lose, then I don't do anything. You'd be good ponies, and turn yourselves in out of remorse for your most heinous crimes."
"We'd turn ourselves in?" Mask said incredulously. "Like we'd ever do that!"
Discord rolled his eyes knowingly.
"You say that now. Let's just wait and see. So, little ponies. Are you ready to play?"
Shady winced. "Do we have a choice?"
"Now that you mention it... No."
Discord raised his claw and snapped. Wind drifted through the operating theatre, seemingly coming from nowhere. Then a tornado began to form. The room itself dissolved, and the dust and pigment was scattered away in the wind, leaving only a white emptiness and a raging hurricane that the three stood in the middle of.
"Good luck, you two!" Discord called.
And then he disappeared into the void, leaving them alone in the storm.
Author's Notes:
This story is a part of the Borderworld.
Just figured I'd try my hand at something shorter. Normally my multi-chapter stories have ten thousand words per chapter, or something stupid like that. This will be a chance to try something easier.
Chapter 2: Long Life of Sunshine
The two stallions clung onto each other for dear life. The inexplicable storm was showing no signs of slowing down. The operating theatre they were in before was now long gone, and all that remained was a white void and the tornado.
"Where are we going?!" Shady shouted over the din.
"I don't know!"
The jumpsuits that Discord had seen fit to put them in then dissolved around them. The two looked down at their clothing as it became nothing but orange dust and floated away in the wind. They were hopeful for a moment that the ball and chain binding them together would follow, but that didn't seem to be the case.
Instead, it began to rise into the air, dragging them with it. Mask yelped as he was lifted off the floor.
The ball and chain had now become a helium filled balloon, and was taking them right up into the storm. Shady Dealings flapped his wings and righted himself, hovering in the air as the balloon dragged him upwards and trying to chew the chains off. Unfortunately, the chains were still as solid as metal, even though they had become a lot lighter now.
Mask wasn't so lucky, and dangled below the balloon by his hind legs. He gulped as he looked down at the ground, already far below them.
"Shady! I'm scared of heights!" he called.
"That's great, Mask! I'm not too fond of them myself!"
Shady was trying to fly down and pull the balloon back towards the ground, but it resisted him and continued the ascent. The wind didn't seem to be affecting its course either, only succeeding in knocking the two ponies around.
"I'm gonna fall!"
"You're not gonna fall! That demon wouldn't put us in this position just to kill us! Just stay still while I try to get us out of this!"
At that point, the balloon abruptly stopped with a jerk, now hanging in the air with complete stillness. The storm also brought something new. The clouds of particles that had formed when the operating theatre melted were back, and this time they different. No longer the whites and blues of that room, they were a mix of wooden brown, rich red and cream coloured too.
As the two of them watched, the particles came together and became a room again. Except not exactly a room. A corridor. A very long corridor, with cream coloured wallpaper, a thick red carpet, and hundreds of doors in both directions with golden numbers on them. Above them, several chandeliers hung from the ceiling.
Once it had finished forming, the two stallions just stared at it for a second. Mask was about to say something, but then the balloon popped, and he fell onto the carpet. It was only a tiny drop, but he wasn't expecting it. And he was still upside down, so he landed on his head.
"Ugh..." he groaned as he pulled himself up.
Shady, who had just been hovering the whole time, landed on the carpet with far less drama. Normally he'd have made fun of his partner in crime at this point, but that was the last thing on his mind at that moment.
"...Where are we?"
He walked a few steps and examined the nearest door, which had a big, shiny "637" screwed onto the outside, just above a peephole.
"Looks like some kind of... hotel, maybe?"
Mask finally stood up again, and was leaning against the wall. He was breathing like he'd just finished running a marathon.
"That... was terrifying..." he gasped.
"But why would we be in a hotel?" Shady continued, uninterested. "Sunshine was an apartment complex, not a hotel..."
At that point, there was an audible crackling. The stallions looked around them, trying to find its source, until they noticed a series of speakers placed at regular intervals along the corridor's ceiling.
"Au contraire, my little ponies," Discord's distorted voice answered. "Sunshine House has a surprisingly rich history, dating all the way back to its original role as a hospital during the Great Baking War. Afterwards, during the economic boom, it enjoyed a stint as a five star hotel. Good fortune doesn't last forever though, and the Sunshine House Apartments soon emerged. Versatility is the name of the game, and this place changed with the times just like everypony else!"
Shady frowned.
"Discord..." he growled. "Since when were you so interested in history, huh?! What are we even doing here?! What is this sick game of yours?!"
"But history can be such fun! Take this place for instance. In the present, yes, a ruined old place ready to be demolished that's only ever any use to the rats. Dial back the timeline a bit though, and think of all the interesting settings we can play around in! The ponies you could meet, the places you could see! Many would kill for such an opportunity. Don't be ungrateful."
"Discord—!"
"I'm sorry, that's all we have time for. You two run along and go meet your new neighbours. I'll be back to check on you later."
Shady stomped a forehoof as loudly as possible, which wasn't very much due to it being cushioned by the carpet.
"DISCORD!"
The speakers just crackled again though, and this time began playing some kind of weird music.
The pegasus was left staring at the ceiling. Their tormentor was ignoring them, and now they were left to their own devices in this strange fantasy. He didn't know what to expect from this place, but he doubted it would be anything pleasant.
"Boss?"
He turned back to face Mask.
"Sorry. Yeah?"
"What are we gonna do?"
He paused to consider the question.
"...I don't know," he said honestly. "Wander around a bit, I suppose. See if we run into anything."
"I don't like this place, Shady. It's giving me the creeps."
"Yeah. Me too, buddy. Me too..."
***
That music hadn't gotten any less irritating over time. At least, not to Shady. His eye was twitching, and with every step he took, he seemed ready to explode into frothing rage. His partner, in contrast, very much liked it. Mask was happily bobbing his head along to the repetitive tune, taking some kind of comfort in the simplicity and mundaneness of it.
"Dear Celestia, will it ever end?!" he moaned. "How long have we been wandering these corridors?! It feels like it's been hours!"
"...It's been ten minutes, boss."
Sunshine House, if this was still Sunshine House, was deceptively complex. Though the long straight corridor seemed to imply that the building was very neatly formatted and straightforward, they had instead reached the end of that particular corridor and then found it giving way to dozens of other, shorter corridors. They twisted and turned in a way that could only have been Discord's doing, as there was no way any sane architect would have designed a building that way.
Together, they had been wandering that floor of the building for ten minutes, if Mask was to be believed. To Shady, it felt like far longer. That ten minutes seemed to blur together into a haze of samey looking corridors and a continuous stream of repetitive background music.
There was never any variation. Aside from the twisting of the corridors themselves, nothing ever changed. All the doors looked the same aside from their numbers, which continued to count ever higher until it was into four digits. All the speakers above them looked the same and were placed at the same regular intervals. Every so often, they'd pass a radiator, each one identical to the last, and they were always cold.
"I want it to stop, Mask! It's drilling into my brain!"
"What is?"
"The MUSIC! That Celestia-damned music! I can't take much more of it!"
Mask was looking at him like he was crazy.
"Really? It bothers you that much?"
"YES!"
The pegasus curled up in a ball and laid down on the carpet, shivering.
"It's always the same, Mask... It never ends... Never ending... stupid elevator music... going on, and on, and on..."
The worst part of it wasn't even the music itself. It was how every so often, it would cut out for just a split second, before continuing on just as before. It was that tiny, brief moment of hope that it would finally end between all the suffering that made the pain all the worse.
Truly, this was a horror no mortal was meant to experience.
"Oh, quit being such a baby!" said Mask. "It's just a little jingle. Don't tell me that THIS was all Discord needed to do to break you?"
Shady Dealings glared up at his partner and rose to his full height again. His expression was one of righteous fury and indignation.
"No. You're right. I'm not going to stand for this!"
Mask watched in fascination as the boss flapped his wings and rose into the air, before shooting down the corridor back the way they came like a bolt of lightning. He dashed straight for the nearest speaker, twisted around mid-air, and bucked it with his hind legs as hard as he could. The music stopped abruptly as the speaker shattered into chunks of plastic and fell onto the carpet below, leaving only wires dangling out of a hole in the wall.
"THERE!" he shouted in triumph. "I did it! My torment is over! Take that, Discord!"
A nearby door, numbered 1025, suddenly flew open. A draconequus poked his head out, and frowned at the pony hovering by where the speaker used to be.
"You know, causing property damage is not an endearing trait," he said.
"Look who's talking!"
Discord feigned hurt.
"Me? I'll have you know that I never destroyed anything during either of my great chaotic reigns! I just twisted things into new and interesting shapes, and then made them dance around. There's a huge difference."
He stepped out of the room and walked over to where the speaker had fallen. He picked up the largest two chunks of its remains, and looked at them sadly.
"This, though? This is monstrous. I don't know how you can live with yourself."
Shady's jaw was hanging open.
"BUT YOU—"
"Up up up! Zip it! You've committed an act of vandalism, and damaged hotel property. Therefore, you answer to the hotel staff now."
"What staff?!" Shady demanded. "There's nopony here!"
Discord rolled his eyes, this time clearly irritated rather than amused.
"You know, I was a lot more respected before this whole reforming business. Ponies didn't tend to run their mouths off to a spirit of chaos when they thought he would replace their legs with pogo sticks if they showed defiance around him. That's my curse, I guess. I'm too nice for my own good."
Discord tossed the broken remains of the speaker over his shoulder, and they phased through the wall and disappeared.
"No matter. I'll leave the janitor to deal with you."
He then did a little twirl with his claw, and a new costume appeared on him with a pop. A top hat sat over his horns, and a monocle now covered his right eye. Additionally, he was now wearing a suit and carrying a cane.
"Janitor?" Mask repeated, speaking up for the first time since Discord appeared.
"Hmm? Oh yes, the janitor. Charming fellow. Large, hairy, has a very expressive face. You'll know when you see him."
Discord strolled over to the doorway he had entered from and began to leave. Just before he closed the door behind him completely though, he poked his head out yet again.
"Be careful. He bites."
Left alone in the corridor again, now quiet for the first time since they arrived, Mask and Shady looked at each other uneasily.
"I don't like the sound of that," said the earth pony.
THUD! THUD! THUD!
They both turned their heads to look to the end of the corridor, in the direction that they were heading towards before the diversion to destroy the speaker. That short distance ahead, the corridor turned again, this time to the right. And it was from behind that corner ahead of them that the noise was coming from.
THUD! THUD! THUD!
"And I like the sound of that even less!"
THUD! THUD! THUD!
The steps of whatever was coming for them grew ever louder. Shady fluttered down onto the ground again, and walked over to Mask's side to place a hoof on his shoulder. He didn't say another word though. They maintained their silence as the source of the noise came into view.
THUD! THUD! THUD!
A gargantuan blue minotaur emerged from behind the corner, and stomped towards them. His pace didn't change, but his expression did. In a subtle way. He was now very clearly angry at them, whereas before he just looked angry at having to be there in the first place. Still the two ponies stood their ground, though terrified of the beast before them.
THUD! THUD! THUD!
He drew ever closer.
THUD! THUD! THUD!
He was practically right on top of them.
THUD! THUD! THUD!
He stopped.
"WHAT have you two done to my speaker?"
***
Their punishment was not as harsh as they were expecting. Upon failing to come up with a good excuse and trying to pin the blame on each other, the nameless minotaur janitor had simply picked up both stallions, slung them over his shoulder, and marched back the way he came from.
"Well, this isn't so bad," Shady admitted. "I think I was expecting far worse."
"Yeah..." Mask agreed. "Hey, minotaur janitor guy? Where are we even going?"
"My office," he grunted in response.
They turned another corner in the twisting corridor, and both ponies looked behind them to see the path ahead. This next hallway was short, and halfway down it, an elevator waited for them with open doors.
The janitor tossed them into the elevator as they approached it and then walked in afterwards himself. He examined the buttons on the panel next to the door, and selected the one for the basement level. The doors closed, and the elevator began to descend.
There was an eerie silence for a moment, before Shady broke it.
"Wait a second. You play music through ceiling mounted speakers in the hallways outside ponies' rooms, but not in the elevator?"
His comment earned the pegasus an unamused glare from the janitor, who otherwise did not respond at all. He simply crossed his arms and waited for them to stop.
Ding!
The elevator stopped and the doors opened. Minotaur janitor guy grabbed them both by their tails and then dragged them out of the elevator again, which closed behind them. Emerging into a dingy room lit only by a single light bulb hanging from the ceiling, they suddenly found themselves thrown onto a pair of wooden stools sat before an old office desk.
All around them, the room was filled with cleaning supplies and repair materials. A mop rested against the wall in a corner. A vacuum cleaner gathered dust in another. Several crates filled with wires, packs of light bulbs, pieces of copper and tubing and old rubber were stacked next to the desk, and behind it were filing cabinets that looked like they hadn't been used in eons. On the other side of the room, a red metal door was locked shut.
The minotaur walked around the desk and sat down at it. He opened a drawer and pulled out a dusty log book and pen, which he dumped in front of him and then opened up to the middle pages. One was full of scruffy writing, and the other was blank.
He stuck the pen between his teeth and held it there while he then searched himself and the top drawers for something else. This turned out to be a pair of reading glasses, which he then donned as he removed the pen from his mouth and used it to scribble a quick note in the book.
All the while, Mask and Shady remained as still as possible, awaiting whatever judgement he would pass.
"Alright," he said finally, pushing the log book aside, "now you two have some explaining to do to the manager."
The stallions exchanged a look of mutual confusion. The janitor didn't exposit further though, and instead reached to the side and pulled over a white device that Mask had until that point mistaken for a lamp, and which he now realised was actually an old style telephone.
After dialling a three button number, the minotaur held it up next to his face and began speaking.
"Yeah, boss? Found a couple of vandals on the fifth floor. Damaged one of the speakers."
The phone suddenly became very loud, and the janitor held it away from himself and winced as it began spewing something incomprehensible and loud. He eventually put it back to his ear again and continued listening.
"I know. Uh-huh." He paused, until the other end went quiet again. "I brought them down here."
If the boss was still talking, he had gone quiet again now, because Mask and Shady could no longer hear him.
"Well, that's why I called you... Yes, sir. Certainly."
He put the phone down.
"I'm sorry, guys, but you're going to die."
At that exact moment, the elevator that they had came here in opened up again, and an angry looking unicorn walked in levitating a phone almost identical to the janitor's next to him. It had a long cord trailing behind it back into the elevator, which rose up and through a grate in the elevator's roof to somewhere above.
The two thieves had not enough time to contemplate how little sense that made before the pony they presumed to be the manager started screaming at them.
"BREAKING SPEAKERS, HMMMMMMMMMM?!" he shouted. "AND WHAT PRECISELY MAKES YOU THINK YOU CAN GET AWAY WITH THAT KIND OF BEHAVIOUR IN MY HOTEL?!"
He spoke to both of them, but it was Mask who he was looking at while he said it. The earth pony cringed from the volume of his voice.
"It wasn't me! Shady did it!"
Shady glared at him for a moment, but was then surprised as the manager slapped Mask in the face.
"Ow!" he protested. "What was that for?!"
"For snitching on your friend! DO YOU HAVE NO SENSE OF LOYALTY?!"
Mask looked back and forth between the manager and the other two in the room. Shady looked just as confused as he was, and the janitor just shrugged.
"Umm... So would you have rather I not told you who...?"
The manager slapped him again and Mask fell off his chair.
"EARTH PONIES!" he shouted, shaking his hoof at Mask. "WHY ARE ALL EARTH PONIES SO WORTHLESS?!"
He looked to the janitor.
"That's a serious question, Axe Grind! WHY are earth ponies worthless?!"
"Because you say they are, boss."
"Damn right!"
He then turned to Shady.
"You're not an earth pony, so why are you engaging in earthish vandalism like the other one?"
Shady blinked.
"Why are you so racist?" he responded. "I didn't think guys like you even existed anymore."
"Son, what the hell are you even talking about?"
Shady looked over to Mask again, who'd retaken his seat and still looked as incredulous as before. Shady sighed and decided to just be completely honest this one time.
"Look, listen to me. Me and my friend here aren't from around here. Or even this time period. We come from the future, after this building is run down and supposed to be being demolished. We were sent here by a being called Discord, who is playing some kind of game with us, and he took us back to the period where this place was a hotel, which is now. And we didn't see anypony here, so I thought it was an illusion and it didn't matter what I broke, and the music from the speaker was annoying me, so I broke it. And I'm sorry."
The manager narrowed his eyes and leaned in close to Shady's face to more closely scrutinise him.
"Hmm... You managed to keep a straight face while telling me that... I don't believe you, but I believe you more than I would if the dirt pony had told me the same thing. And you said it with conviction too, even if it does sound completely crazy. Therefore, I'm going to guess that you're not lying, but simply insane."
The manager turned to Axe Grind again.
"Get the mud eater to fix the speaker, and take this one to see Dr. Lobe."
"Who's Dr. Lobe?" asked Shady.
"Lives on the third floor," the manager answered. "She used to work here back when this was Sunshine General Hospital. She'll find out what's wrong with you."
"But I'm not—"
"Yes, thank you, good bye."
And then he turned and marched out of the room, heading back into the elevator and disappearing once more. Left alone with the janitor again, the two ponies immediately looked over to him.
"What the hay was up with that guy?" asked Mask.
Axe Grind sat back in his chair.
"I've been working for him for years and I still don't know. He's not even like that all the time. Some days he's frothing at the mouth about how much he hates earth ponies, griffins and for some reason sea lions, hits his employees, throws things, and shouts at everyone. Other days he's pleasant and gentle even to those he said he hated before. And every once in a while he's been known to suddenly be incredibly depressed and start writing poetry."
He opened a drawer in his desk.
"In fact I have some of it here. It's actually really good poetry. I can read some if you want?"
"Uh... No thanks," said Mask. "I'd rather we just get to work doing the things to make him not mad at us anymore."
"Of course." Axe Grind closed the drawer again and sighed. "So, let's—"
There was a dinging sound.
"The elevator's back. Come on, you two."
Mask and Shady did as instructed and entered the elevator with the minotaur, this time willingly. As they did, a thought occurred to Mask, and he leaned over to his partner.
"Hey, Shady?" he whispered.
"Yeah?"
"This is the same basement we slept in before, isn't it?"
Shady nodded.
"So... why wasn't the elevator there in the future?"
All around them, the two ponies heard Discord chuckling.
Author's Notes:
This was a long time coming due to other projects pestering me with their incompleteness. Please forgive me for the delay.
For the record, this was the song I pictured as the one coming out of the speakers.
Chapter 3: Repair and Maintenance
Nowhere in the world is more unpleasant than a cramped elevator. This is a basic fact of life, but everyone realises it at different times. For some, it's like an instinctual thing that they know from birth. Others have this sudden revelation while going through day to day life, like while on the toilet or while chopping onions. But most unfortunate souls learn this through experience, when they are confronted with it themselves.
Robber Mask, Shady Dealings and the minotaur janitor Axe Grind were in a cramped elevator together at that moment as they left the basement and ascended towards the upper floors of Sunshine Hotel. By the time they'd reached the ground floor, they were already very uncomfortable.
To lessen the awkwardness, Axe Grind started feeling conversational.
"So... Time travel..." he said. "You serious about that?"
Shady shrugged.
"I don't expect anypony to believe us. Damned Discord..."
"Well, I believe you."
Both ponies looked back at the minotaur.
"What?" asked Mask.
"Well, that is to say, I want to believe you. I'm trying not to get my hopes up, but you did mention Discord, and most ponies these days don't even know who he is. Especially not in Manehattan."
Shady blinked.
"That's right!" he exclaimed, slapping his forehead. "Stupid! Discord's been trapped in stone for hundreds of years right now! Of course nopony would know the name back here!"
"Wait, how do you know about Discord then?" said Mask.
Axe Grind snorted.
"All minotaurs know about the tale of Discord. He's the creator of our entire race! Some of my kind even still worship him today! Not in Equestria of course. That's kind of outlawed here. But in the homelands, he's still revered by a minority."
"...Huh," said Shady. "I didn't actually know that."
"But you make it sound like he's free in the future. Is he?"
"Yeah, he kinda is," Mask answered. "He got released from stone about... two years ago, I think. Broke out, ruled Equestria for a day, and then he got taken down by the Elements of Harmony, who are these six mares who... Well, that's a whole other story. And then he was in stone again until recently, when he was released by Princess Celestia and supposedly reformed. And now he's tormenting us."
Axe Grind raised an eyebrow.
"The future sounds strange."
"That's not even the half of it," Shady muttered.
"What else happens?"
"You know the old story, The Mare in the Moon?"
Axe Grind rubbed his chin and squinted as he tried to remember it.
"Hmm... vaguely...."
"Well, it's true. And about a year before Discord came back, Nightmare Moon did too. And she also got reformed, and now she co-rules the kingdom with Celestia. And they aren't even the only alicorns anymore. There are a whole bunch now."
The janitor was giving Shady a look.
"Are you just messing with me?"
"Guys," Mask interrupted, "I think something strange is going on. Weren't we supposed to be just going up to the third floor? How long have we been standing in this elevator, talking?"
At that, the elevator stopped moving and shuddered to a halt. The three nearly lost their balance at the suddenness of their stop. There was a dinging sound again, and the doors opened. Not onto the floor they were meant to be on though, but instead to the grey wall of the elevator shaft.
"Oh, beautiful!" Axe Grind ranted. "ANOTHER thing I have to fix!"
He closed the elevator doors again. Then, without warning, he balled his right hand into a fist and smashed it through the ceiling. At least, that's what it seemed like. In reality he had just displaced a loose grate that was meant to be possible to remove anyway, but for a moment there the two stallions thought they'd just witnessed him punch through solid metal.
He placed both hands on the edge of the opening and began to hoist himself up. The hole was comparatively tiny, obviously designed for ponies, but somehow he managed to squeeze through without difficulty. They looked up to see his face appear in the opening, looking down at them.
"You two stay there," he instructed. "I have to do work up here."
Then the grate closed.
"...Shady?"
"Yeah?"
"What are we even meant to do? Discord must have a reason for putting us through this, but I don't get how this is meant to reform us. What's the point?"
The elevator doors opened again, this time to reveal Discord standing on the other side in a room identical to their elevator, and still in his fancy clothes from before.
"The point, my dear boy, is to teach you life lessons through experience. Something your parents obviously failed to do."
Mask stepped forward aggressively, but Shady put a foreleg in his way to hold him back.
"Simply put, you have your reasons for being criminals, you have your justifications, and you have the excuse of never having been taught how a responsible citizen is supposed to act. Your time in the hotel is going to invalidate all of that. I look forward to seeing your resolve crumble as I strip all your reasons away."
He grabbed the doors again.
"Adieu, mes petits poneys."
He pulled them closed.
"...I really don't like him."
The grate opened up again, and an upside down minotaur hung down from the ceiling.
"Up here! Now!"
***
The two ponies couldn't see very well outside the elevator. Light from inside it poured up through the grate, but it didn't help much. They could see the cables that connected the elevator to the top of the shaft, but they disappeared into the darkness somewhere above them. A little way up, they could make out some silver doors that likely led to one of the upper floors.
"We have a problem," Axe Grind reported. "There is another elevator blocking our way."
"Ahh... what?" said Shady.
"Another elevator. There is a second elevator in the shaft somewhere above us. I think the cable connected to this one is stuck between the other elevator and the wall of the shaft."
"I... Okay. Why is there another elevator in this shaft? Isn't there only supposed to be one?"
"That's what I thought too, pony. But here we are."
"See?" said Mask. "Discord. This is definitely his doing."
"I need somepony to go up there and tell me what's wrong. You have wings. Go take a look for me."
"Ahaha. No. That's not my job," Shady replied.
"The alternative is being stuck in here until an engineer comes to get us."
"Aren't you the engineer?"
Axe Grind crossed his arms.
"I'm the janitor. I fix some things, but mostly I just clean stuff. Elevator maintenance isn't my job either, but at least you won't have to scale the wall or climb up the cable."
Shady growled and threw his forehooves up as he rose into the air.
"FINE! I'll look at the damn thing! Do you at least have a flashlight though? Something? Anything?"
"Sorry."
Still grumbling, the pegasus flew up into the darkness above and disappeared.
***
Although as a pegasus he could have raced straight to the top of the shaft instantly if he wanted, it took Shady over five minutes to reach what he was looking for. The darkness was oppressive and all encompassing, and he couldn't see his hoof in front of his face after a while. Just a little speck of light a long way below him that showed him how far he was getting from his partner and the friendly minotaur who was their only ally here so far.
He didn't want to bang his head against something he couldn't see, so he rose slowly, just a little bit at a time. He still didn't see the underside of the second elevator coming until he actually hit it, but at least he felt his wings brush against it first so that he knew it was there.
Okay. So what are you then?
Hovering in place, he began to run his hooves along the underside of the elevator. He was assuming it was an elevator at least, because that's what Axe Grind seemed to think it was. Though looking back on it, he didn't really have any idea what made him think that. Could minotaurs see in the dark?
Shady flew towards the centre of the shaft, trying to feel around for the cable that the lower elevator was suspended by. When he couldn't find it, he instead began flying feeling the walls to see if he could find the cable pressed up against one of them. Sure enough, he did, and he followed it upwards to see that just as Axe Grind had predicted, it was smooshed between the wall and the elevator above.
And just how am I supposed to get this out?!
The other elevator had a grate in the ceiling that allowed them to climb on top of it. How likely was it that there was one in the underside of this? Not very, he would have guessed. After all, what possible reason would somepony have to go below an elevator when it's suspended above a sheer drop? But there wasn't any other way he could think of to solve this, so he began searching for one.
His eyes widened in surprise as he put a hoof through a perfectly square hole in one corner of the elevator's floor. His hoof touched against something inside. It had a coarse texture, but it wasn't very solid, and didn't resist much when he pushed against it. Flying directly below the hole, he shoved upwards against it, and it gave way to reveal light from within.
Shady had to shield his eyes for a second, but looking up into it, he saw the roof of the same elevator he had been in before. He blinked, and then began pulling himself upwards through the hole. Climbing inside the elevator, he looked around some more. The material he had pushed through turned out to be carpet. That corner of the elevator had its floor missing, and it had just been carpeted over.
Why?
He looked around at the rest of the new elevator. It wasn't exactly like the previous one. There were some subtle differences, like the layout of the buttons and the font for the floor numbers on the labels. The carpet was definitely different. That hole wasn't there in the last one, and he knew because he'd stood a hoof on that space before. And the elevator's doors looked a lot cleaner in this one. Not that the old one's doors were unclean, just that this had been polished more recently.
"Huh," he said to himself.
Out of curiosity, he pressed the open doors button to see if this elevator was trapped between levels too. To his good fortune, it instead opened into a corridor identical to the one he and Mask had initially been dropped in. He took a tentative step outside, looking around at the door numbers on this floor's rooms. They were all insanely high. Six digit numbers. Far too much for a building of this size. He wondered what floor he was even on.
"Discord?" he called out. "What's going on here? Explain this!"
No answer.
"Damn it..."
It seemed all he could hope to do now was go back down and tell the other two what he'd found. Hopefully the janitor would have some idea of how to fix everything, because he didn't.
The doors of the elevator closed as Shady stood there pondering, and he gave a growl of frustration. Stepping over to the elevator again, he was just about to press his hoof against the button to open it back up, when a voice from behind him sounded out.
"Shady, don't."
He froze. Slowly looking over his shoulder, he saw the mare that the voice had come from. She was a pegasus, like him. Her coat was a butter yellow and her mane and tail were a deep purple. Both were long and naturally curly, but also starting to lose their luster and become frayed. She appeared to be in her early fifties, or late forties at best. Though she wasn't wearing glasses right now, a pair of reading spectacles hung from a chain around her neck.
Looking at her cutie mark, he saw that it was of an equine brain.
"Are you Dr. Lobe?" he asked.
She gave him a smile, but said nothing.
"...Why shouldn't I open the elevator?"
The mare looked off to the side, avoiding his gaze.
"You said it didn't end well."
"'I said'? As in I said to you? You know my name, so... we've met before, right?"
The doctor looked back at him and nodded. He was beginning to notice that she wasn't the most talkative sort.
"Where did we meet?"
"Sunshine General Hospital. Discord threw you back there."
Shady's eyes widened.
"You know about Discord?"
"Lots of us do," she replied. "You and Mask were around a lot in the old days. You kept trying to explain it all to us. Not everypony believed you, but... I can't say too much. You warned us about paradoxes. I don't think we can avoid them completely, but Mask said it could be dangerous considering... well, you know."
"Paradoxes..."
Now it was Shady who went quiet and looked away. He sat his rump down on the carpet and bowed his head, deep in thought. Discord had woven them into the history of this building. Already he was seeing the effects of something he'd clearly done in the future. A mare who he'd yet to properly meet and who already knew him.
If he didn't meet her, then the timelines wouldn't match and there would be a paradox, but if he did meet her, then wouldn't he be doing it only because he knew he had to for this to occur? And if such a time loop were to happen, wouldn't that also be a paradox, only of a different kind?
A thought occurred to Shady that perhaps this was Discord's real goal here. What could be more chaotic and confusing than a time paradox? That was his element, wasn't it? Maybe this whole premise of a game he was playing with them was just an excuse to wreak havoc with time. If that was his plan, then they had a clear goal now: stop this madness before it gets worse.
Question was, which kind of paradox gave Discord more power? The one where the timeline stays consistent, or the one where it was broken? Clearly in the timeline this mare already lived through, he'd pressed that button and something bad happened with the elevator, but both he and Mask survived to warn her to try and change the outcome...
His future self wanted to change the timeline, so that meant... what, exactly?
Shady looked back to the button by the elevator.
"What happens if I press it?" he asked.
The smile disappeared from the mare's face.
"I... I'm really not allowed to say. You said I couldn't."
For a moment, Shady kept his eyes on the button, pondering what possible harm it could do to press it. Lobe was looking more and more worried with every second.
“Listen, uh... I think maybe you should just step away from the button for now... Come with me back to my room. We can discuss it a little more, and I can get us some coffee... You still like it black, right?”
The stallion finally tore his eyes away from the elevator.
“Oh. Uh... Sure. Lead the way.”
***
In the the elevator shaft, Axe Grind and Robber Mask found themselves staring at the only source of light to be found. A little square of light broke the darkness somewhere above them, too far for them to really see what it was coming from, and also too far to really make much of a difference. They were only slightly more illuminated than before. Most of their light was still coming from inside the elevator that they were already standing on top of, thanks to the ceiling grate.
“What is going on up there?” asked Mask.
“I was right,” the janitor replied. “Second elevator.”
“How did that happen though? There’s not supposed to be a second elevator, is there?”
Axe Grind shook his head.
“Then why is it there?”
“I don’t know, pony. Perhaps it has something to do with your claims that Discord now roams this place.”
Mask looked up to the metal doors above them that would normally lead to one of the upper floors.
“Hey, do you think you could pull those doors up there open? Maybe we could get out? Find that engineer you mentioned?”
The minotaur glanced up at it, looked back to Robber Mask, and shrugged.
“Worth a try.”
He leapt into the air and grabbed onto the cable that the elevator was suspended by. With remarkable ease, he began climbing up it until he was level with the silver door, and he threw himself off it and against the wall of the elevator shaft. Mask winced as Axe Grind hit the door with a loud clang, but smiled as he stuck his fingers between the doors and began wrenching them open, letting another sliver of light into the elevator shaft.
“Hhhhhgggrrr...”
Finally, they flew all the way open as Axe Grind gave a triumphant roar. He turned around to face Mask again, his heroic figure silhouetted by the light from the corridor outside. The minotaur smiled and gave him a thumbs up, before realising that the cultural significance of the gesture would be lost on a pony. So instead he prepared to jump back down to help his companion get up as well.
And that’s when the other elevator began falling.
Author's Notes:
Again, slow updates. Sorry.