Jokers Wild

by blowngasket

First published 25th of February, 2013

A vacation for a loyal member of the Equestrian Royal Court leaves the Mane 6 pondering about the odd yet enthusiastic man. Why does he always wear that mask, and what are his true intentions that it hides? (Humanized Ponies Warning)

Royal Jester Perry O'te is asked to take a break from his job, much to his displeasure. He loves to be at the castle and treasures his time working and making people laugh, but that isn't really why he was forced to leave. What is the real reason Celestia asked him to vacation at the quiet town of Ponyville, and why does he wear that mask of his? What happens when trouble starts to brew in town, and the true reason for his stay is revealed. Will the Mane 6 continue to accept his company or are there some people no longer deserving of the magic of friendship?

(This story takes place before the end of season 3, and contained humanized ponies.)

Cover artwork done by my great friend Katgurl5. Check out her other work at her deviantart page. Just search her and your good to go (link taken out due to recent NSFW purge, and deviant art can have quite a bit of that). Some of it is NSFW, so you have been thoroughly warned.

The Crazy Thing About Vacations

Chapter 1: The Crazy Thing About Vacations

"The wind blows from across the beautiful and lush green landscapes, the sun's early light only adding to the radiance. I watch the city, full of hustle and bustle with folks walking around enjoying the wondrous break of day, and yet I am sad," the voice came from an odd sort of man, talking only to himself while he looked out from a balcony on the beautiful castle. To those that knew this man well, it generally came as no surprise. Taking in a deep breath, he began to speak once more.

"Why oh why does the princesses believe that I, Perry O'te, need to take some time off? I am full of life, energy, and vigor. One such as me does not need rest!" he exclaimed loudly to what one would assume was absolutely no one.

Though some may have believed that he was simply speaking to the wind, he knew that another would be able to hear him loud and clear. Perry looked upwards, a head poking itself down from the balcony above. This person's head donned a shining gold crown, a symbol of her strength and power, over her long flowing multicolored hair. This icon of power also had a beautiful face, though it currently showed a combination of concern and frustration.

"Perry, I honestly haven't the slightest why you pretend that no one can hear you every time you decide to monologue, at five in the morning, when there are still some trying to sleep," she spoke, a hint of annoyance in her voice. "Seriously, you need some time away to relax, and enjoy yourself."

Her next action would have been deemed crazy, possibly suicidal had she not had large white wings to keep her afloat as she jumped off the upper balcony towards him. She wore a regal dress made for both looks and comfort, shimmering with a mixture of pale yet noticeable colors over a soft white, flowing well past her legs. Perry backed himself up giving her room to land, as he was definitely no stranger to this woman.

"Princess Celestia, pardon me for interrupting...umm... whatever it is you may be doing," he said as he gave a polite bow, his mask's odd grin and black plus sign shaped eye holes hiding whatever expression he may have had.

Perry was, for lack of a better term, eccentric to say the least. He wore a long sleeved shirt, donning diamond patterns with alternating colors of green, red, and white. Its look would be quite straining to the eyes of some, but in his line of work, being an eyesore helped to draw attention to himself. A light beige colored pair of pants made of a nice stern material gave him function and style, at least what he considered style, drawing out more odd contrast between his shirt. His boots brown and thick, though well worn, gave the appearance of constant use, yet no neglect.

The oddest thing about him was that mask concealing his face. It hid his entire image behind its white ceramic, a special glass for eyes gave him the ability to see others without his eyes being able to be seen by others. Their shape, the plus sign, held that glass in quite nicely and was made not to disrupt his field of vision. The only other feature of the mask was a light blue smile simply painted across the mask where a mouth would be, simple to the point where it would look like one line, yet still gently done without haste as to make it look sloppy. A close look would reveal tiny pinprick holes across the smile, making it easier to breath and be heard, but from a distance one would never notice.

"You didn't interrupt anything, Perry. It was just...annoying, that's all," she answered softly. He took that as a cue to become more relaxed with her. Leaning on the entrance of his balcony knowing it would open inward, he fell backwards. As he landed onto the floor, he used his momentum to do a backwards roll and got right back up to his feet.

"It would be impolite to not invite you in, my princess," he spoke in his usual quirky tone, brushing his brown hair away from his mask. She let out a slight giggle at his action before entering.

"You always had such a simple way to make my day better. Oh how we are going to miss you here. But trust me this will be a great thing for you. You spend too much of your time cooped up here, so this will be good. Trust me," Celestia said softly to him.

She had just the place as well. Ponyville, recommended by her and her sister due to its calm and friendly atmosphere, would be the perfect place to get away from it all. He already had his things sent over there but he still knew he would miss his job here at the castle.

"Still, my princess-" he started to speak, but was interrupted by the one he was speaking to.

"Please, Perry, Celestia is fine. We have known each other some time now so you don't have to be so formal, besides it doesn't suit you," she said to him reassuringly.

"Alright then. Still, Tia," Perry chuckled, casually taking a seat and propping his legs up on the table. Being completely informal now served its purpose, causing Celestia to giggle at his sudden change and attitude. "The whole two month thing doesn't seem necessary to me. Why not a week or a day or an hour! Yes! An hour sounds good. What do you say, Tia?" he asked, partially joking, partially serious.

"You know better than that, Perry. Besides, with the things you have done you definitely deserve this, so don't be modest. I'm sure after an hour," she gave a slight emphasis on the hour with a grin, "you will come to enjoy it too much to wish to leave."

Perry knew she was challenging him. Who was he to ignore such an innocent request. His mask hiding his sly smile, Perry leaned back into the chair and rested his arms behind his head.

"I accept your challenge," he said calmly, hiding his intent. "Try as you might, I will not enjoy my first hour there. And when I don't, I shall take the next train back here. But if I do, then I will submit to your whim and stay there for the full two months, never to complain to you about it again. Do you agree to said terms and conditions outlined in this verbal contract between us willing parties?" Perry's mask hid his intent well, Celestia none the wiser that she was falling right into his trap.

As much as Celestia knew that this vacation was necessary, the mischievous side of her couldn't help but take control of her reasoning. Normally she wouldn't do something like this, but the way he acted, his declaration, and how she would deal with it made the probable outcome so much more enjoyable. "I, Princess Celestia, Sun Goddess of Equestria, agree to your terms and conditions. But," she started speaking as he was just a minute ago, "on one condition. You must actually try to have a good time. If I hear that you spent the entire time at the train station," she gave a scary smile towards the court jester, one that those who decided to cross Celestia knew all too well, "you will have wished you stayed there," she smiled sweetly and casually walked back outside, knowing for sure that behind that mask of his, he was sweating bullets. "He may hide his face but he can be easy to read sometimes," Celestia thought to herself.

"O-Of course, my princess! I wasn't even thinking of it!" Perry spoke quickly, poorly hiding the fact that he was planning exactly that. "Well my train shall be arriving soon so I must be leaving now!" he said to Celestia, packing last minute belongings in a hurry as she started to fly back to her balcony.

"Take care, Perry and I hope to not see you soon," she spoke back jokingly. He gave the Princess a slight nod before heading out of his room, making his way to the train station.

---------- ---------- ----------

The Sun Princess entered her room from her balcony, and headed over to her desk, decorated by many devices. Most, one would guess, meant to relieve boredom. She pulled back one of five metal beads on a device labeled Starswirls Cradle and let it go, the bead hitting the others and sending the one at the opposite end away from it. She smiled at it, remembering it as a present her favorite student gave to her for a Summer Sun Celebration, the one before she moved to Ponyville herself. Watching the metallic spheres go back and forth, she began to think about Twilight, the one who gave her the simple yet amusing toy, and the possible disaster she was regrettably sending her way. A look of concern grew on her face as she continued with her plan. She took up a quill and piece of parchment, dipping the quill into the ink bottle and starting what was to be a letter that would start a very interesting tale.

"Dear Twilight Sparkle..."

The Crazy Thing About Parties

Chapter 2: The Crazy Thing About Parties

Twilight's day could have been completely normal today. She could have spent the good part of the day in the library, straightening up the shelves with Spike, getting picky about the setup, undoing all of their hard work, and redoing it. Finally, she would settle down with a relaxing outing with her friends. That was supposed to be the plan, minus the re-rearranging. When all is said and done, she would have most likely done so anyway. Instead, as she was about to start the day, a nice looking roll of parchment popped into existence. The parchmentl was a letter bearing Celestia's royal seal. She quickly dropped what she was doing, quite literally, as a few books hit the desk with a thud, nearly spilling the contents of the cup next to them. Taking a seat at her desk, she quickly undid the seal and started to open the scroll.

"I wonder what she needs from me this early on in the day?" taking a sip of the black liquid from inside the cup, the dark haired girl began to ponder. "I hope everything is alright. What if something happened! Oh no! What will I do!?" Twilight began to panic at the many different cataclysmic scenarios playing in her head. They ranged from rampant space rocks to ancient super monsters arising from their millennial slumber to wreak havoc on the entire population of Equestria.

"Just open the letter, Twi, and seriously stop drinking coffee in the morning. It makes you all paranoid," the voice came from a green haired boy walking out of the kitchen.

He wore a frilly apron, underneath it a purple jacket and matching pants. In each hand were two plates of scrambled eggs. He set one plate down in front of Twilight, placing his on his lap as he sat down on a couch. She stared at the partially opened scroll, and then stared at the cup of coffee in front of her. She nodded and pushed the black liquid away from her.

"You're right, Spike. It can't be that bad. Probably just wanting to ask me a question, or let me know how everything is going," she sighed with relief as she opened the letter and started to read. Her eyes started to go wide as she continued through the letter.

"Eerying awigh?" Spike asked with a mouth full of toast.

"No! Everything isn't all right! It's anything but alright! It could be one of the least alright things!" she started to panic and began to pace in circles, deep in thought.

She carried this on for a minute until finally running upstairs to change out of her star covered PJ's. Spike got up and looked over the letter himself to see what the big deal was, still skeptical about it being that bad.

Dear Twilight Sparkle,

I would first like to take note in letting you know that nothing apocalyptical is occurring, so you can stop worrying. Secondly, I have a favor to ask of you and most possibly your friends as well. I will try to keep it short, as you are probably busy.

An important member of our castle staff is going down to Ponyville for his vacation, though he does not find the premise of relaxation promising. I would like you to try and help him get adjusted into life in ponyville and show him around. He will be arriving on the afternoon train from Canterlot, and I hope for you and your friends to be there to greet him. Don't worry, though. You will most likely be able to spot him as he is quite hard to miss. Just look for the oddest person there and you'll have found him. Just be warned though, he will leave if he is not satisfied. I am counting on you for this. I trust you can do this task, so good luck and try your best.

Sincerely

Princess Celestia

Spike looked over the letter again and again, trying to figure out what could possibly be so bad about this. With the kind of company Twilight keeps, it surely would not be difficult. Looking at the clock it was a quarter after ten, leaving a good three hours before this mans arrival if Spike had the train schedule correct. Spike's thought process was quickly interrupted by Twilight quickly running down the stairs, wearing her usual knee length purple skirt and white dress shirt. Her hair had been straightened down from her previous bedhead state, accentuating the pink and lavender highlights within the dark blue. She quickly gathered her belongings and made her way to the door.

"Spike, what will I do? I don't have enough time to get all my friends and set up a welcoming! He'll be here soon. Oh what if he's all snobby and doesn't want to do anything?! What if he tells the princess that I was a horrible greeter?!" she started to babble out quickly.

"Seriously...no more coffee. I'm sure you'll do fine, but I'll help you in anyway I can," Twilight began to nod, but was interrupted by Spike's hand raising up to silence her. "as long as you promise me a day off tomorrow," he smiled a most sincere smile one could muster with large pointy teeth.

Twilight didn't have time to argue, so she nodded reluctantly. Spike's raised hand turned into a fist, pumping the air in celebration. "Thanks, Spike. Just go tell Pinkie to get a party ready as fast as she can...and no surprise parties! You remember the last one we planned out didn't go so well," Spike nodded, shuddering at the simple mental thought of that party. He was still unsure if that elderly couple have decided to come out of the house. "I have to get the others together, so when you two are ready meet us at the station."

"Sure thing, Twi. It will be perfect!" Spike replied. Twilight ran out the door quickly now Spike following after he put her eggs in the ice box. He tossed off his apron and walked out, happily making his way down to Sugercube Corner.

---------- ---------- ----------

The train ride was nice, if not a little boring for Perry. He sat quietly, sulking by a window. He didn't like to be bored. It was boring. Looking around the train, he watched others quietly talking to friends or family, acting completely civil towards each other. He officially declared in his head that trains were boring in general, and would have to make an effort to avoid them in the near future.

The time continued to march on with each passing minute, as well as a new sitting position to try to remain comfortable. Needless to say, the nice lady giving out drinks was more than confused when she approached to ask him if he wanted a drink and found herself at eye level with his boots. She followed the feet downwards to stare at their owner, who casually leaned back, arms tucked behind his head.

"Excuse me sir, ummm is everything alright?" she asked him, looking down at his overly happy mask, slightly nervous of its creepy stare looking her in the face.

"I am fine, miss. I am merely trying to find new ways to sit on a train, and so far this is by far the most comfortable. I must admit, though, that I am displeased with the amount of chewing gum stuck under the seats. You really should have the man responsible for cleaning that reprimanded. This is supposed to be a high class transportation cart. Oh, and can you leave me a cup of water on my foot? I'll get to it later," he replied to the woman.

She simply nodded and smiled, meekly placing a cup on his heel and walking away quickly as to not disturb the slightly disturbed man any further. He spent the rest of the train ride counting wads of gum.

---------- ---------- ----------

Spike entered the bakery, looking around for the intended acquaintance. The busy hours for the morning passed, so she should have no problem helping out. Still, Spike loved just standing there, smelling the aroma from the kitchen every time he entered this place. Sugarcube Corner was the best, if not only, bakery here in Ponyville. Unfortunately, time was limited and he had to acquire the help of possibly the best party planner in Ponyville, maybe even Equestria.

"Pinkie, are you here?" he asked, looking around. A pink haired head popped itself out of the kitchen, her face smiling at the arrival of company.

"Spike!" she yelled out quickly, taking off her apron and heading towards him in almost a bouncing stride. Her outfit was incredibly bright. A pink frilly dress, decorated with streamer and balloon designs, making her noticeable from almost ten miles away. "It's so nice to see you, Spike. I needed someone to give these new cakes a try! I don't think I have it right like it's missing something but I can't seem to figure out what it is but I'm sure you could tell me. I mean Mr. and Mrs. Cake keeps telling me it's perfect and I want to believe them but I need a second opinion so please?" she spoke very quickly, not realizing that Spike was already sold at free cake.

"Sure, Pinkie. If it will help then it will be my honor!" he said as he walked into the kitchen. The cake stood there on the table in its full chocolate glory, decorated with miniature cookies on the sides and little chocolate candies sprinkled on top. His eyes widened at the look of this chocolate behemoth. "Oh wow! This will be great for the party!" Spike said joyfully. As he spoke, he finally remembered the reason for his visit.

"Party? Party?! Who's having a party cause I pretty sure that all party noted events are caught up on, unless I'm missing someone! Oh my gosh!" Pinkie spoke quickly, pulling out a calendar from her dress. She started to flip through it, checking the date to make sure she didn't forget someone. Spike was about to ask how she managed to store that thing in there, but he had more important topics to discuss.

"Pinkie, we have a guest coming from Canterlot and we are supposed to get a party ready for him. Oh I can't believe I almost forgot why I was here," he looked over at the clock, its hands reading a quarter after eleven. "Ok we have two hours to get an awesome party together and then meet Twilight and the others at the train station. This task will be difficult one, Agent Pinkie. Do you accept?"

"This will be the best last minute party ever, Agent Spike. Now let's get to work, we got decorating and people to gather!" she yelled out and immediately started running around gathering the necessary materials. She managed to get them in place in a record time that would make Rainbow Dash jealous.

"Say, Spike, should we make this one a surprise party?" Pinkie asked the younger boy as he began working on the seating arrangement.

"Sure. Whatever you think would be good," Spike responded, to busy to really pay attention to the question. He was more concerned about setting up chairs and tables to focus on trivial matters.

"Great! It will be even better than the last one!"

The Crazy Thing About Introductions

Chapter 3: The Crazy Thing About Introductions

"...and thats why I need your help. He's going to be here soon, and I would greatly appreciate it," Twilight was speaking to Applejack, following the slightly tanned farm girl as she carried two baskets of apples, one on each shoulder.

The group following Twilight consisted of three others, all female. Twilight managed to gain the aid of her friends and was now waiting for Applejack to give her response.

"Sure thing, Twi. I jus' have to get this here load back to the barn. Tell ya what. I'll meets ya'll at the station, so don't wait up for me," she responded to Twilight's question.

Twilight nodded and Applejack began taking the path back to her home to store her wares. She wore a pair of blue jeans, slightly worn from hard work and an orange flannel shirt over a plain white tee. Atop her head she donned her classic Stetson hat over her long blond hair. The hat was also worn out, but well kept like it was a treasure. The hat really made the farm girl look complete, and she pulled it off quite well.

"Come on, Twilight darling, we haven't all day," said one of the women alongside Twilight. She looked out of place with her well kept purple hair, a nice white dress with subtle diamond patterns along the side, and an unnecessary amount of mascara and lipstick across her face.

"Well Rarity, we wouldn't have been this late if you didn't waste most of our time getting ready," another girl from the group responded. She had on a simple cyan blue tank top and matching shorts, but her most defining features included her neck length rainbow colored hair, large blue wings, and petite yet athletic build.

"Well I'm sorry that some of us are more concerned about how we look in front of nobility Rainbow. They say dress to impress, but I don't think you could impress anyone with that look," Rarity said to Rainbow Dash, obviously in an attempt getting a rise out of her.

The third girl finally spoke up to the others. "Rainbow Dash, Rarity... please stop fighting. Twilight is counting on us... so if you could, please..." she said quietly, just barely getting their attention. She looked at them slightly, her pink hair covering most of her face. She hid herself well in her cloths, wearing a yellow turtleneck sweater, even though the summer is almost apon them, as well as long white dress pants, creating a nice, subtle contrast between the sweater.

"Fluttershy is right. We are running out of time, so let's argue about fashion later after our guest gets settled in," Twilight spoke up.

Their combined words finally got them to stop, though they were still sending slight glares at each other. Almost at the same time, the two crossed their arms and let out a low 'hmph', turning their heads to avoid each other.

"Right right. Let's get going! We haven't got all day," Rainbow said, uncurling her arms and dashing ahead, moving slowly enough though as so everyone else could keep up, not that they were actually running after her. Together the group made there way to the train station to finally meet this mystery man that had caused such commotion, even before his expected arrival.

---------- ---------- ----------

The train finally pulled into the station, much to the masked man's pleasure. He got out from his bizarre seating arrangement, practically flipping himself upright when he heard the announcement of the trains arrival. He stretched himself out and quickly grabbed his bags, not wanting to be on this train any longer than necessary.

"That darn Celestia might just win this bet. I simply don't want to see another train again for quite some time," he said to himself as he started walking down the walkway towards the exit. He saw the server from earlier and with a playful tone told her, "One hundred and thirty seven," leaving her confused where she stood. Shoving his orange with green polka dotted bag through the door, he finally stepped off the newly renamed boredom devise and onto solid ground. He began to fall in love the feel of afternoon sunlight, its glow invigorating him.

"I, Perry O'te, declare this day to be as fine a day as any. Though my trip was difficult by no small means, the rewards for my diligence are already being generously bestowed onto me. But dear Celestia don't think you have won yet, for there is nothing here that will truly interest me in staying any longer than I have..."

"Umm....excuse me...sir?" a quite voice interrupted him. He looked around for the voice's owner, finding the manner in which she spoke quite adorable. He spotted her and quietly stared at her. "Me and my friends are looking for someone, you wouldn't happen to be...him...would you?"

"And who, my dear, would you happen to be expecting?" Perry responded in a gentlemanly manner.

"We aren't sure...but...um... well," the quiet girl squeaked out meekly, finding it hard to talk to the strange stranger.

"Excuse me?" Perry asked. "I couldn't quite hear you."

"Well the letter said....he would look....unique. That's what Celestia said in her letter," she said. Even if it was barely audible, Perry managed to make it out, his mask hiding his grin.

"Celestia sent you, did she?" he chuckled. "I should have known she would, but even such a cute girl such as yourself will not convince me to..."

"Perry?" another voice spoke up from across the platform. Drawing his attention away from the now deeply blushing girl as she hid her face behind her hair. "What are you doing here?"

"That voice...I recognize that voice anywhere!" he quickly ran towards the speaker. "Twilight!" he picked her up quickly and gave her a huge hug. "I haven't seen you in some time! So this is where you were staying. It's quite...Twilight?" he looked over, her eye twitching as she started to chant.

"Dark clouds send forth your emissary, show judgment to those deemed unworthy..."

A cloud started to form over the two of them getting darker with each hard spoken word.

"Twilight...come on...that's not necessary...please?" Perry begged.

"Lightning!" A bolt shot out of the cloud and into Perry causing him to jolt about in a most uncomfortable way. Even though she was connected by his grasp, Twilight seemed completely unaffected by it. Perry let Twilight go slowly as he started to talk.

"Nice...to know...you haven't changed..." he spat out before falling onto the ground in a thud. By now the other girls, including Applejack who just arrived, noticed the scene and walked over to them.

"Yup, looks weird," Rainbow Dash said to her friend. "Way to go, Twilight. We are supposed to show him a good time...and ya kill him."

"Don't worry, Rainbow. That won't kill him, unfortunately. I know him all too well, and he knows better," she grunted that last bit. "Girls, meet Perry O'te, Royal Jester and what I am guessing the newest temporary resident here."

A slightly creepy laugh started to come from the body on the ground, obviously not dead, as he started to get up. "I rise from the grave to avenge my taken life! Twilight Sparkle, your crimes are grievous and you must suffer th..."

"Perry, don't think I won't do it again!" Twilight spoke firmly.

"...I'll be good..." he said meekly looking towards the ground at his now shuffling feet.

The rest of the group started to giggle slightly. Twilight couldn't help but laugh a bit as well. "I am glad, though. It's wonderful to see you haven't changed either. Though I will ask you nicely to stop picking me up. You know I hate that," Twilight said in a slightly scolding tone.

"But you're so cute when you get angry, Riley Twily Wiley!" Twilight grew a crimson red at the old nickname he used. Her look shifting from embarrassment to anger.

"Dark clouds send forth your emissary..."

"Twilight...I'll stop now! Please don't..."

"Show judgment to those deemed unworthy..."

"I brought you a new book!" he quickly reached into his bag and pulled out a small novel he had on him. Ever since he met Twilight when he first started his job five years back, he had made it a natural habit to keep a book on him at all times. For the kind of situations where pissing Twilight off could be near fatal. Granted he wouldn't be in these situations if he didn't annoy her, he treated her as a little sister and did as such a brother would do to a younger sibling.

"Ooh! Lemme see!" she stopped her chanting and smiled, grabbing the book from his hand. It was a simple adventure novel, but it was uncommon in these parts.

"I picked that up on a trip to the Griffin Empire. Unfortunately, that trip caused me to miss your brothers wedding, and I do regret that," he said to her, happy to not be a twitching pile of flesh at the moment. As Twilight was looking over the book, the rest of them finally walked over to him now that they knew he was somewhat safe to talk to.

"Good day, Mr O'te. It is a pleasure to meet you. The little show there was just the cutest," Rarity spoke to him, drawing his attention towards her.

"I am glad to know my talents of entertainment have not gone unappreciated, Miss...?"

"Rarity, you can just call me Rarity. I run the Carousal Boutique here in Ponyville," he got down on one knee and took her hand and gently placed it against the mouth of his mask.

"It is a pleasure to meet you, Rarity," she giggled at the gesture. Sweet, if not a bit unorthodox. He got up from his kneeling posture and started speaking again. "I occasionally hear word of your designs in Canterlot. From what I have seen, I see great things for you. Your talents are obviously no exaggeration if your current outfit is a statement of your work," she nodded and blushed slightly from the statement. "So who else do we have here?" he spoke to the group as he looked around.

"I'm Rainbow Dash!" Rainbow started, drawing over his attention at the bold introduction. "Fastest flyer around and..."

"Winner of the top junior flyers competition about a year back. Spitfire speaks highly of you, even more so after she held that training camp. You got potential from what I hear," Perry told her, her face lighting up in pure joy.

"Oh my gosh, you know Spitfire, like, personally?!" she asked quickly.

"Of course! We are drinking buddies on occasion, though she always manages to drink me under a table. Doesn't help that I cannot hold my liquor. But trivial facts, not important," he laughed slightly, scratching his head in embarrassment. "I'll tell you more later if you're interested, but for now time is running short and there are still people to meet and things to do," Rainbow jumped around a bit, excited with the thought of learning more about one of her idles. Perry drew his attention towards Applejack, walking over to her as he started speaking. "And who might you be?" he asked politely.

"Name's Applejack. My family runs Sweet Apple Acres here in Ponyville," she responded proudly.

"Ahh, the famous Apple family. Never did liked apples. I have always been more of an orange guy myself," he said slyly towards her, though obviously in a joking manor.

"That there is a lie if I ever heard one," she responded, a bit frustrated at his comment.

"Wow, you're good. I have heard that you are somewhat of a human lie detector, though it was worth it for the rise I got out of you. I meant no disrespect. I do enjoy apples and your families farm has been a favorite of mine for years," he spoke to her.

"Well, I suppose I can forgive ya, but you watch that orange talk around me, or I'll have to introduce your face to my boot," she said back half jokingly half seriously. Perry took that as a sign to leave her alone speak to the last of the girls there.

"Thank you again for finding me as I got off the train," he said to Fluttershy.

"It's no problem. My name is Fluttershy. It...is nice to meet you...Mr. Perry," she said quietly still hiding slightly behind her hair.

"Hmmm...that not right," he gently brushed her hair out of her face causing her to freeze. "A beautiful woman like you shouldn't be afraid to face the world. A shame in all accounts..." she just stood there paralyzed, eyes like a deer in front of a train. Perry looked over to Twilight. "Ummm...is she ok?"

"She will be fine, just give her a minute. This usually happens when someone startles her like that," Twilight said reassuringly, nose still in the new book. As she finished speaking, a voice came from the other end of the platform. Everyone turned to see Spike and Pinkie running towards them.

"Sorry....we're late..." an out of breath Spike said to the group. "So where's the guy we are...no way! Perry, is that you?!" Spike yelled out, eyes wide.

"In the flesh, Spike. Long time no see my little friend," he said happily at his reunion with Spike.

"Perry!" Spike started running towards Perry, and he responded the same, making his way towards the young man.

To them, it was as if the world was bright and colorful as they slowly moved closer to each other. To everyone else...a pair of guys charging each other.

"Spike!" he yelled out, getting closer with his arms out wide open.

"PERRY!" Spike opened his arms as well getting even closer.

"SPIKE!" as they were about to hug they stopped and just gave each other a simple handshake.

"Sup..." they both said in unison, with everyone but Pinkie and Fluttershy groaning at the scene. He glanced over to the brightly colored girl following Spike. He leaned in close to him and started to whisper.

"You got yourself a cute girlfriend there. She looks a bit old for you, but most definitely a lot of fun," he chuckled towards the now blushing Spike.

"No no no! You got it all wrong! I was just helping her out before we came together!" Spike quickly defended himself from Perry, who chuckled at his flustered response. This is Pinkie Pie. She works at Sugercube Corner," suddenly the one they were talking about got between them and started talking to Perry quickly.

"Hi there! I'm Pinkie Pie, though you can call me Pinkie. What's it like working in the castle? Do you do anything neat? Why are you wearing a mask like that? Were you scarred in some horrific accident and became the monster that hides in the movie theater playing a pipe organ? Do you like chocolate? What is your favorite color? How old are you? Do you like parties?"

"Calm down there, Pinkie. I can only answer so much at a time," Perry responded, taking a deep breath. "Fun jester fun that would be neat yes bright ones twenty three who doesn't!" he spoke in a complete if yet nonsensical sentence.

"Well then what are we waiting for?! We got a fun day ahead of us and only so little time to do so!" Pinkie jumped up and down quickly, everyone else nodding in agreement.

"Lead the way girls, this place is getting dull anyways. That boredom machine sucks out all the fun in the area," he said as he started his way off the platform.

"Boredom machine?" everyone else said, minus Pinkie who was well on her way following Perry. Twilight could only think this day will only get more and more interesting with the royal screwball in town.

Author's Notes:

2

The Crazy Thing About Surprises

Chapter 4: The Crazy Thing About Surprises

"So there I was, face in the piece of cake, the griffin ambassador just looking at me as I looked directly at him. After a few awkward seconds, he started to laugh, and even to this day I was surprised that I didn't lose my head," Perry chuckled as he was telling stories to the group of girls. Spike and Twilight, having heard most of them already, just sat back and let him enjoy himself. They made their way over to Sugarcube Corner for Perry's party, knowing that a Pinkie party would seal the deal on the fun loving jesters stay. "...and then, Twily wandered the castle for hours, trying to find her stuffed doll. It was the funniest thing I have ever seen. She stopped sleepwalking soon afterwards. Most interesting way to meet someone," Perry smiled as he finished his story. Twilight, only hearing the end of it, had anger written all over her face.

"Twilight, how the heck did you manage to leave your doll in the icebox?" Rainbow chuckled. This only further made the situation worse for Perry, noticing her beginning to mumble a spell under her breath.

"Now Twilight...no need to be angry. We all do silly things every now and then..." Perry tried to reason with her, but it was no good at this point, especially when the sun got shadowed and he heard the familiar ending for the spell she was using.

"Lightning!" Twilight yelled as a bolt shot from the cloud forming above Perry. He started to twitch as the electricity flowed through him, leaving him a convulsing mess of a man where he stood.

"Fine...no mo...re Twilight stories..." he spoke slowly, the occasional twitch causing his words to be slightly broken. Fluttershy walked over to him slowly.

"Ar-Are you alright Perry?" she asked quietly. He looked over to her and gave a nod.

"Twilight will have to try harder if she wants to hurt me!" he laughed. Fluttershy smiled at him until he got up close, causing her to freeze in place as he grabbed her hands gently. "It's so wonderful to know that you care for me!" he exclaimed, chuckling at the petrified look she gave as he did this.

"Perry, quit teasin' her. You should know by now how she is," Applejack said, shaking her head. He looked over to her scratching the back of his head.

"I am sorry. It's just that it's adorable the way she becomes a statue like that," Perry said apologetically.

"I-I'm fine..." Fluttershy started to stir again. "Just...surprised...me...that's all," Twilight sighed watching them all. She let out a small smile after turning around walking away. As much as he infuriated her, Perry was still a good person, and she was glad it was him to be staying here. Looking back at Perry, still telling jokes and stories to the girls and Spike, she started to wonder about his mask, like many times before. She has never actually seen his face, no matter how hard she tried. Whenever she would ask, he would always give a different ridiculous answer that could not have happened, from the mask being super glued to his face, which could easily be fixed, to it being a mystical gift from the great mighty dragon king, granting him immortality as long as he wore it. She pondered in mental silence for the rest of the short walk, before being stopped feet from their destination.

"WE ARE HERE!" Pinkie yelled out as they arrived to Sugarcube Corner. Perry sniffed the air here and sighed happily.

"What a magnificent scent. It's a shame that the place looks closed," he said, looking through the window and seeing no lights."

"Don't worry yourself, Perry. I work here, so you can head on in," Perry nodded and headed towards the door. Twilight, noting the lack of lights and the odd dead quiet coming from the building, looked over at Spike nervously and whispered into his ear.

"Spike...you did tell her no surprise parties, right?" Spikes eyes widened, giving Twilight the answer she needed. She tried to quickly turn to Perry but he along with everyone already disappeared into the darkness. With an all too sudden flash, the darkness was drowned out by the lights quickly coming to life along with the combined screams of those hidden in it.

"SUUURRRPPRRISSSSEEEEEEE!!!!!????" the nice sized crowd yelled as Pinkies streamer cannons fired towards the group, though something was now very off. They looked around carefully, but try as they might, they could not find the guest of honor.

"Perry?" all the girls said in unison, looking around the room from him. He had just vanished from sight. The small gathering of people that were originally hiding were more confused then anyone else.

"Did we just waste the surprise?" one of them said, still looking around. Judging from the looks, the place was definitely ready for a party. Snacks punch and Pinkie even called in a favor to get DJ PON-3, aka Vinyl Scratch, to be the entertainment. How she could have possibly managed to pull that one off within the course of three hours would still be debated along with the meaning of life, and why hot dog buns came in packages of eight, while hot dogs themselves came in packages of ten. The blue haired girl, relaxing casually behind the sound system, could only smile as everyone looked around, lost and completely confused.

"Everything's ready!" she yelled from where she sat. Everyone looked over to her, and to their surprise, Perry was casually sitting on one of her speakers holding a Microphone.

"Oh you all are just too wonderful," he stated as everyone just stared at him in shock and amazement. "Well, I have two announcements to make. Number one, SURPRISE!" he yelled out.

"Perry here is one of my biggest fans..." Vinyl started. "...and the king of counter surprise parties. No joke. He has coined that one. I'll tell ya, if there is anyone out there that can possibly out party me...it's not him."

"Hey, I totally resemble that," Perry said jokingly into the mike, earning quite a few chuckles from the audience.

"But this crazy man has definitely comes close. Sorry, bro, but you will never be able to out party me. You can continue with your announcement thingie now," Vinyl said, getting everything ready.

"Secondly, Twilight. You can tell Celestia that she wins. I'll stay! Besides, trains are terribly boring," he said dully. "And for all of you, you have been a great audience so I guess an encore is in order! HIT IT DJ!" Vinyl nodded as she put on a record. Music started playing as he jumped on top of a table from the speaker, dancing energetically before starting to sing loudly.

Everyone started by watching on in total shock. Being surprised by the intended victim was definitely new. But seeing how he was getting into it, people couldn't help but start to dance as well. Twilight still stood there, mouth agape at his actions, though the rest of them didn't need an invitation to start dancing. Even Fluttershy, who was normally trying her best to not be noticed in these kind of situations, found it quite fun to dance. She was dancing in a corner away from the crowd of people, but dancing none-the-less.

Folks in the crowd started to cheer his name as he was dancing and singing on the table. Perry was getting into it and loved every minute of it. Even Spike was getting into it, slowly dancing closer to Rarity to try to dance with her, only to be knocked over by a wildly dancing blond. She apologized and helped him up. Spike couldn't help but notice her strange eyes, but she was gone into the crowd before he even had a chance to let her know it was fine.

Even Twilight, who was in a state of initial shock and awe at everything irrational happening all at one, couldn't stay away forever. She started to dance as well, enjoying the party for being a party, whether Perry had commandeered it or not.

Perry started to whip out the air guitar as he was jamming across the table and really getting into it doing all sorts of fancy moves and causing the group of people there to whistle and cheer. The song, finally coming to its finale, ended with a bang as cannons filled with confetti were shot out, showering everyone with the colorful paper. Then the silence came, giving everyone the time they needed to soak in everything they had just witnessed, and for Perry to catch his breath before retiring from the tabletop.

"Thank you Ponyville! Perry loves you all!" he yelled as he tossed the mike back to Vinyl, who simply held out her hand expectantly and caught it. He did a backflip of the table landing it perfectly. Everyone, completely blown away by the sporadic and energetic newcomer, crowded him. They were asking questions many questions which he gladly answered. Of course most of the questions about his mask went in the direction of strange and completely nonsensical, but he was having a heck of a good time today and was glad to be here.

---------- ---------- ----------

The party finally died down after a couple of hours. Pinkie was busy cleaning up along with the help of Fluttershy. Applejack, Rainbow, and Rarity, who had to be up early to take care of job related issues, had left to go and get as much sleep as possible. Perry, having possibly enjoyed himself a bit too much, was face down on a table, groaning about too much super choco cake. The argument between him and Pinkie about there actually being a limit still up in the air, Twilight and Spike decided to simply sit with him, still chuckling about his self caused condition.

"When did you even have time to eat a half a cake, and how do you even do it?" Twilight spoke to him. "I didn't even see you take off your mask," Perry looked over to her and softly spoke.

"I have a second mouth on my stomach which I use to eat," he told them. His stomach started growling as he then and again proceeded to plant his face against the table. "So Twilight, think you can tell me where I will be staying?" he asked from his position. "Celestia told me to use some sort of private cottage, and that you knew of its location."

"The old vacation house?" she asked, making sure she wasn't wrong. He nodded, remembering that much about it. "It's a ways near the other end of Ponyville, by the Everfree Forest. Fluttershy?" She called over the pink haired girl carrying plates and cups. "Think you can take him to his place? It's that small empty cottage at the edge of the town. It should be right by your home."

"Ummm...ok...I guess," she said to Twilight. "If that isn't a problem for you, Perry."

"Not at all, Fluttershy. It would be a pleasure," Perry responded to her. She smiled and went to gather her belongings. Twilight got uncomfortably close to Perry and started whispering into his ear.

"If you even think of doing anything despicable to her, I'll do things so horrible to you that the punishment will forever be know as...getting Perryed..." she grinned almost evilly, causing Perry to shudder slightly.

"I would never even think of such a thing, lady Twilight. Your incriminating look apon me hurts," he responded honestly.

"Okay then!" she smiled sweetly again as Fluttershy reentered the room. "See you two later!" Twilight waved as Perry slowly moved up from his seat. He gathered his bags and headed towards the door. He opened it for Fluttershy, noting Twilight back at her seat slowly running a finger across her neck. If not for the mask he would have looked quite scared for his current situation. Twilight was always so nice to everyone, but when it came to Perry, she knew she could have a little fun and be a little mean. Both knew it was...mostly harmless fun, but it didn't help knowing Twilight's more wicked and sadistic side better than anyone else.

Perry followed Fluttershy out of the building, walking side by side with her as they slowly made their way to his temporary home. "So, Fluttershy, I never found out what it is that you do here," he asked as they walked. She nodded, looking over to him and starting to speak.

"Well, I take care of the animals around here, injured or lost," she told him, feeling a bit more comfortable talking about her job than most other things. It made her legitimately happy, giving even her meek personality a small sense of pride.

"Does it pay well?" Perry asked.

"Not really. I usually make my living taking care of others pets. I'm not a vet, but since Ponyville doesn't have one, the people here usually bring them to me. I'm more than happy to help, getting to make all of those cute little critters all better. It is enough to live comfortably, though sometimes those animals can also get really rowdy. I wouldn't have it any other way though!" she smiled happily towards Perry. He couldn't help but feel giddy at how happy she looked, though it was hidden by ceramic and paint.

"You know, Fluttershy, this has got to be the most I have ever heard you say," he chuckled. She blushed and looked towards the ground.

"Sorry...it's not that...well I don't like...to talk, it's just...umm..." she quietly spoke to him. He gently placed his hand on her head, causing her to freeze up again at the sudden contact.

"It's fine. I understand. In my line of work, actions tend to be more powerful than words. You're a good person, Fluttershy. Don't ever change. The world needs more people like you in it," even with his hand on her head, she managed to look towards him, her hair hiding her blush and smile. "Now let's go! Don't want to keep you out too late, Twilight would have my head," he said to her, taking his hand off her head. He started a goofy march down the road, earning a soft laugh out of his guide. She quickly followed him, though walking more normally than he was. They finally managed to make it to the cottage after about half an hour of walking and simple chit chat.

"Well, this is it..." Fluttershy told Perry as he looked over the place. It was a nice one floor cottage. A good size, but a bit bland for his tastes, which he would most likely remedy when he had the chance. "Well...I have to get home now. Have a good night, Perry," she said to him, waving and turning to make her way back home.

As Fluttershy started walking away she heard footsteps behind her. Looking over her shoulder she watched as he casually strolled behind her. After a few more steps, she stopped and turned around, causing him to stop as well. "Excuse me for asking...but why are you following me?" she asked, slightly nervous at his strange and unnecessary behavior.

"Well for starters, it would be very disrespectful of me to not walk a woman back to her house at this hour of the night. And secondly..." he thought back to Twilight, though his mental image of her consisted of her with large red horns and a small straw doll of him with pins in it. He shuddered at the thought. "...secondly, I owe you for showing me the way to my house!" he lied, not wanting to tell her the real reason and ruin her perception of one of her best friends.

"I guess it's alright. If Twilight trusts you, I can trust you as well..." she said softly as she started walking towards her house again.

---------- ---------- ----------

It was a good ten minutes more, but after arriving, Fluttershy finally said her goodnights to Perry for the last time tonight. "Thank you very much, Perry. The story about the group of cute bunnies was adorable."

"Adorable to you...you weren't the one getting chased through the garden by a mob of angry rabbits," he laughed lightly, causing both of them to laugh. "Well, you have a good night. I am sure we will see each other later."

"You have a good night as well, and be safe walking home," she told him as she entered and closed the door. He nodded, though no one was there to see it, and started on his way back to the vacation house. The walk was uneventful and kind of boring now that there was no one to hear his tales. It didn't take him nearly as long now that he knew where he was going. He got to the door and walked inside after unlocking it. The place was a bit dusty with a few cobwebs here and there, but nothing a serious cleaning wouldn't fix. Even so, it was well furnished and more then ready to have a resident living there.

Deciding to finally crash for the night, the sugar rush from the cake wearing out quickly, he went into his new bedroom to get ready for bed. Searching throught the few boxes shipped over from the castle, he found the one with his sleepwear. He changed into the comfortable new clothes, a generally goofy looking pair of sleep pajamas, and laid down in his bed. For the final and most important touch, he took his mask off, replacing it with one that almost looked the same, but had closed eyes instead of the open ones and was made out of a softer, easier to sleep on material. He held the original mask up in front of him, just staring at it for a good ten minutes. Deep within its grinning gaze, he started to shake slightly. In almost an instant, he quickly chucked the mask at the wall, causing a small dent in the wall as the mask fell to the floor with a thud. Sighing slightly at this outburst, he quickly pulled the covers over his head and tried to catch some sleep. He couldn't put his finger on it, but something seriously bothered him, frustrating him to the point where he had felt all desire to sleep completely leave him. "It was simply going to be another sleepless night, I guess..."

The Crazy Thing About Ponyville

Chapter 5: The Crazy Thing About Ponyville

Rarity enjoyed her morning strolls through the streets of Ponyville, basking in the fresh sunlight. She wore a simple yet nice white sun dress and had on an elegant pair of purple sunglasses to match her hair. The day was looking to be rather uneventful, especially if one were to compare it to last nights party. She was still intrigued, yet slightly disgusted that any living being, Pinkie excluded, could eat that much cake. He was still quite interesting, though. A clash of gentlemanliness and immaturity into one poorly dressed package.

Her thoughts on him had ceased the moment she saw the real deal sitting on the water fountain, dressed in his usual attire. From where she could see, it had looked as if he was in deep thought. She walked up to him slowly, pondering what it was that could have his attention. The more she thought about it, the more the man seemed straight out of a mystery novel. That mask. Subtle, yet on the creepier side with its eternal smile and blank stare. What were the emotions displayed underneath that mask? What secrets would removing it unlock? She got closer to her subject and looked to him closely, seeing him still in his boundlessly deep thought. She softly called out his name.

"Perry?" there was no response. "Perry, are you alright?" she tried again to get his attention, concerned for the newcomers own well being. As she moved closer to him, she discovered the horrifying truth to the situation. "He's...sleeping..." she said to herself, mildly annoyed. She heard his light snores coming from behind the mask, confirming her sleep theory. He wasn't deep in thought. Rather, he was deep asleep. Becoming irrationally infuriated, like she was just tricked and laughed at, she pushed him into the fountain. As soon as he hit the cold water, he flailed awake quickly and started to cry out.

"The fish people have me!" it took Perry a few seconds to realize he was not actually being abducted by so called fish folk, but swimming in the town square. Finally collecting himself, he looked towards his attacker. She looked at him, failing to hide the amused smile plastered on her face. He stood up very slowly, getting himself out of the water and looking directly at Rarity. He walked over to her, Rarity backing up slightly, the smile on her face replaced with a nervous grin.

"Mr. Perry, please don't be upset. It was a dumb thing to do and I am so terribly sorry," Rarity said quickly as he continued to approach her, stepping out of the fountain. With each looming, slow paced step, he continued getting closer. Finally, when his face was just inches away from her fearful one, he spoke to her slowly.

"These...clothes...are...dry clean only!" he said to her, waving his arms around spastically as if to convey a point. "What will I do if they shrink on me?! You're a monster!" he crouched down and started to hug his knees, rocking back and forth. Rarity, nothing short of simply baffled by his behavior, stared at him. All the fear she had was replaced with confusion.

"That's...it?" she asked him looking down. "You're concerned about your clothes..." he looked up at her and nodded quickly, looking somewhat pathetic from his current state. "Well, if that is the case, I can help you out," she told him as he continued to look at her. "Come to my place. I know how to take care of them so they will not shrink. Your clothes may be committing...several crimes against fashion, but two wrongs don't make a right, as they say," he quickly jumped up and bowed to her.

"Your kindness truly is legendary. Lead the way, Lady Rarity," she only stared at him for a second more, starting to have second thoughts about having him in her house. Still, being the one who had started this and not wanting to be one to go back on her word, she started walking back towards her house, the dripping Perry following close behind.

It did not take long to make it back to her house, the Carousal Boutique. She opened the door and showed him inside. He walked in and looked around, taking in the sights offered. It was so pristine and elegant. Soft colors just flowing all around, leaving a relaxing and very at ease atmosphere within the dressmakers shop. "There is a changing room over there by the display," she told him as she handed him a spare plain white shirt and black pants. He made his way there, and quickly changed out of his wet outfit, replacing it with the new one he was given. He walked over to her and handed her the sopping clothes he was wearing. She took them meekly, not really sure if she should fix them or straight out destroy them.

"Please do what you can. They are my livelihood," he asked her softly, as if a friend was going into surgery.

Rarity sighed, coming to terms with her actions and having to make good with her word. She smiled, giving Perry a reassuring nod. "Of course. It will be about two hours, so you can read a magazine or whatever it is you do for fun...On second thought stick to the magazine," she laughed.

"I won't disrupt you or break your belongings, I promise," he told her, laughing along with her. Rarity smiled as he walked into the waiting room. With him finally gone, she released a sigh. She was not looking forward to working with such an outfit. Knowing she had no choice at this point, Rarity went into her workshop to take care of the task in front of her.

---------- ---------- ----------

A half hour passed as Perry sat patiently, though slowly succumbing to boredom. The wait was simply mind numbing, as all those soft colors only seemed to succeed in irritating him. They were gently taunting him about his current dilemma by using their charming brightness. When he felt he could stand for no more, a saving grace appeared in the form of a young girl, probably a year or two younger than Spike. The child quickly opened the main entrance and entered the shop, Perry watching with intrigue. She wore a simple white dress, a nice match to her light purple and pink hair. Following her in were two more girls of about the same age. One of them were wearing denim overalls over a yellow tee, a pink bow holding back her red hair. The other had short magenta hair, wearing an orange tee and shorts, with two small orange wings sticking out of her back. They wandered through the waiting room blissfully unaware of his presence until crossing his path. Perry and the group of children stared at each other. He tilted his head slightly as he pondered who they were and why they were here. They stood still, nervously staring at his mask with a bit of fear in their eyes.

"Umm...who are ya?" the girl with the pink bow asked slowly after a near painful minute of silence. Perry got up, causing the young girls to back away cautiously, and took a bow.

"My name is Perry O'te. Don't be alarmed at my look. I am a humble jester to the royal castle of Canterlot," the girls, still a bit skeptical, continued to treat him with suspicion.

"What are you doing at my sisters store, then?" the one in the white dress asked. Perry began his tale, starting with his reason for being in Ponyville up to his reason for being here in the boutique, despite the lack of more masculine designs and appeals. The girls enjoyed his telling of the story, laughing at the part when Rarity pushed him into the fountain. By the end of the story they were all sitting and enjoying each others company.

"Sorry we treated ya rudely. I'm Apple Bloom," the one with the bow said to Perry. "My sister says be careful around strange folk, and you're one of the stranger I have ever seen."

"I like him!" the winged one said to him. "You're funny. I'm Scootaloo, by the way.'

"I'm Sweetie Belle!" the last one said to him as well. "I'm Rarity's little sister."

"It's a pleasure to meet all of you," he said to them. "So what brings you here today?"

"Well, we were out trying to make a kite for a school project, when a gust of wind blew ours up into a tree. We wanted to see if my sister would let us use some more materials. We tried to get it ourselves, but it's too far up."

"Why don't you have your friend fly up there to get it?" Perry asked. Scootaloo looked down sadly, Perry starting to feel like it was something that should have remained unspoken. Now feeling slightly responsible, he came to the only logical conclusion he could make. That and he was done being bored out of his mind. "Hmmm... show me this tree. I can see if I can get it for you," all three of the girls smiled happily.

"YAY!" the girls all yelled loudly. They all got up and walked to the door, Perry beginning to take a step forward before stopping; an important detail coming to mind.

"Just a minute, girls. I will tell Rarity where we are going," Perry said as he changed directions and walked towards the workshop. He noticed her hard at work on some project, most likely waiting for the clothes to finish. "Rarity, your sister, her friends, and I will be together. They need help with a project," Rarity looked over at him slightly, still working hard on what it was she was doing, but none the less focused on him.

"What happened..." she said, almost expecting this to happen.

"They got a kite stuck in a tree. Cliché, but I said I would give them my assistance."

"Good luck then," she told him. He nodded and walked out. She really wasn't saying good luck for the kite, but for handling them. If only he knew what he was in for.

---------- ---------- ----------

"Ok, so let's lay out all the cards down on the table. You managed to get your kite stuck to the highest part of the tallest tree in the park," Perry asked, looking up the tall tree. The three girls with him nodded as they looked up with him. He then looked down towards the ground at a make shift see-saw using a large wooden plank and a rock. "Then, you were planning on launching one of you up to the top with this here," they continued to nod as he explained what he was looking at. "Not a bad plan and all, but what were you going to do once one of you were at the highest point in the tree?" Perry asked, a slight mirth in his tone. They just shrugged their shoulders as he nodded now.

"Think ya can help us, Mr. Perry?" Apple Bloom asked quietly. "We work real hard on it and makin' a new one would not make it the same," Perry gently placed his hand on her head and ruffled her hair.

"The last thing I would do is let down my audience. Don't worry. Just sit back and enjoy," he started to stretch himself out as he looked up the tall tree. The girls stared awkwardly at him as he bent into shapes a normal person shouldn't. It just didn't seem natural.

Finally feeling limber and ready, he quickly jumped into the tree and started to climb it, and quickly, almost like a monkey. The girls watched on in awe, wondering what made him so quick at the task. In not even a minute he was at the top gently untangling the kite from the tree so it wouldn't become damaged. As soon as he was done, he quickly made his way down with the kite under his arm. Even one handed now, he still managed the same skill as before, moving down the tree from branch to branch like it was second nature. He landed in front of the girls and handed them their kite.

"Wow...where did you learn to do that!?" they asked him quickly. He chuckled as he got down to their level.

"I was raised by monkeys in the wilderness. They taught me everything I know, from eating bugs to climbing trees," he got up imitating a monkey himself. "I am Monkeyman!" he yelled out, imitating a poorly done monkey wail as he bounced around. The girls only stared at him questioningly.

"Really...monkeys...that's the best you got?" Scootaloo said. "I have heard way better."

"Alien?" he said meekly.

"Nope," she still held her unamused stance.

"Man made abomination!" he exclaimed.

Scootaloo stared at Perry, shaking her head in disappointment. "Heard better from cheap sci fi books."

"Fine, I can see my ability to deceive you has failed me, so I shall reveal the truth," Perry took in a deep breath, preparing himself for the tale. "When I was younger, I was always on the smaller side. So when getting chased by bullies, I learned to hide in trees where they wouldn't find me. Eventually the bullies stopped..." Perry took another breath before continuing. "...but the important thing is what I gained and how I grew from the experience. Oh how the world was easier back then..." he told them. They only nodded silently, noting the sadness in his voice. "Now, I have to get back to the shop and get my actual clothes. Rarity's going to have a fit when she sees what I have done to these," he said, returning to his brighter and more fun pitch.

"Bye, Mr. Perry. Take care, and thanks again!" Apple Bloom said as she waved goodbye.

"Yeah, take it easy!" Scootaloo joined in.

"Don't be a stranger," Sweetie Belle finished, all of them waving goodbye now. Perry waved back as he walked away. They seemed like a handful, but they were good kids. Overall the whole mess today had been worth it, as he had fun with them.

---------- ----------- ----------

"Rarity, I have returned successful with my task," Perry said proudly as he entered the boutique. Rarity walked out of her workshop holding two hangers, only to stare at the mess he currently was. The nice shirt was now covered in green and brown stains, and his pants were a light dusty black color now, also having the occasional green splotch. "Sorry about the clothes, I had to climb a tree to help them out, but in the end the smiling faces of children are worth more than anything else...right...right?" he started to get nervous at her lack or reaction, and the slight eye twitch she was developing. Finally, she took a deep breath and started to speak.

"Yes... I suppose it is," she smiled. "Why don't you head on into the changing room so I can clean those up," Perry took the clothes and moved towards the changing room quickly, not wanting to make her any more angry. He walked into the room and started to get changed, not wishing to keep her waiting. After a few minutes, Rarity knocked on the door. "Can you hand me the clothes so I can get started on cleaning them?"

The door opened to a stunning sight for the designer. He stood there, wearing only his pants, as he handed her the clothes. She was simply shocked at the marvelous sight she was beholding. While clothed, Perry didn't look like much. He was tall, but it didn't look like he had any real features. But now that she can see him, he was completely built. Not like a muscle builder who likes to bulge out disgustingly, but all the essential muscles could easily be seen on his smaller frame.

"Rarity? Oh Rarity!" Perry spoke up, causing her to jump slightly, blushing as she looked at him. He chuckled, observing her reaction. "You act as if you never seen a man without his shirt."

"Oh my, I am sorry for staring, ummm I'll just..." without finishing her sentence, she quickly grabbed the clothes and shut the door. Letting out an amused laugh, he pulled his shirt on and walked out of the room. She was already occupying her mind with another job and acting like she didn't see him leaving.

"Thank you again, Rarity. I'll shall take my leave now, so you have a wonderful day!" he walked out the door, still lightly giggling at the blushing woman acting as if she didn't see him exit.

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The day was getting late. Perry spent the rest of the time exploring his new surroundings, being fairly uneventful for Perry. He stopped by Sugarcube Corner, and got directions to Twilight's from Pinkie, as well as a few snacks for them. He laughed as the Cakes and Pinkie watched intently as he slid his mask forwards, only slightly, to fit a cupcake he purchased for himself into his mouth, still not revealing his face. He then made his way out and to Twilight's house where he spent most of the day catching up about recent events with her and Spike. It was a great time being able to hear all the progress the formerly antisocial girl was making since her time spent in Ponyville. He even only managing to get electrocuted once throughout the whole visit. It was definitely his fault, as he knew better than to tease her about her bookish obsession.

The day had become night before anyone even noticed, and it was time for Perry to take his leave. "What a nice group of friends Twily has," Perry said to himself quietly as he left Twilight's library. They had been through quite a bit, though some events he already knew before she even told him. Discords return was a hard one to ignore after all.

Making his way home, it was close to eleven at night. Originally it was a fairly quiet and uneventful walk, at least until he walked across something he rather wish he hadn't. A group of three young men were surrounding someone in an alleyway corner. They were laughing like fools and spouting profanities towards their intended victim. "Even places like this have trash..." he said out loud as he walked by, not really caring.

He didn't plan on doing anything. It wasn't his problem and he did promise to be on his best behavior while he stayed here in town. The situation quickly changed, for the worst, when he heard the cries of the victim. He cursed his rotten luck, recognizing the voice of a familiar young woman he had recently gotten to know. Being still fresh in his mind from the night before, and it being unmistakable for anyone that knew her, he reluctantly stopped his departure. He knew that not getting involved was completely unavoidable at this point.

"Help me...please..." Perry heard her cry out again. He could tell that the woman was absolutely terrified from the shaking in her voice. He turned around and looked down the alley once more. His hidden eyes rested on the scene of a terrified Fluttershy being harassed by these men, all of whom looked unsavory to be around at their best.

"You silly girl. No one would be stupid enough to help ya. So why don't you just shut up, and I will bet you will enjoy our...company" one of the men laughed, speech slightly slurred from what was most likely alcohol. Perry clenched a fist slowly and took a deep breath.

"Maintain control. Don't do anything unnecessary. Just make them leave..." he told himself repeatedly as he walked down the alley. "Excuse me, gentleman?" Perry said loudly to grab the group's attention. "I do believe this nice young lady doesn't care for your company," the group turned around and looked at Perry like he was the biggest idiot ever. "I will take care of her, so you should all go home, drink some water, and really think about what you are doing and reevaluate your lives. Maybe once this is over, I can even treat you all to a nice drink. What do you say?" he asked the group calmly. They looked at each other and started to laugh at his feeble attempts to get them to stop.

"Really?! Are you retarded?" the one that was speaking before asked Perry. It seemed like he was the ringleader here and responsible for causing the trouble. He walked up, acting tough as he roughly pushed Perry away. He fell down, laying there for a few seconds before getting up slowly. "Go away creep, before we have to bust you up worse than what you must already look like."

"I am sorry, but I can not do that," Perry said, brushing himself off. "The woman you are harassing is a good friend of mine, so it is my duty to see her home safely," Perry told him, trying to remain as calm as possible. It wasn't easy, and he could feel his emotions starting to boil as he continued to get more frustrated with the man's arrogance. The leader decided it would be a good idea now to take out a knife, about six inches long, and swing it in front of Perry in a crude attempt to frighten him. Perry didn't want to do this, nor did he want to let it bother him. He was rarely bothered by idiots like this, but for some reason, whatever it was, the way they were treating her had proceeded to piss him off to new levels. He sighed as he cracked his neck. "Fluttershy, If you could do me a favor and close your eyes and cover your ears, I would most appreciate it," he asked the shaking girl in the corner. She did as she was told, hiding behind her tightly clenched eyes, hands tightly pressed against her head, not daring to look.

She was afraid for Perry, as these men were known troublemakers. She wanted to tell him to be careful, but nothing she wanted to say would even come close to leaving her lips. She was simply too frightened to tell him anything at this point. Even covering her ears, she could hear the slight sounds of a commotion. Repeating his words in her head, she refused open her eyes. She waited for something to happen, not even sure how much time had been passing by, hoping that the next time she would open her eyes Perry would be there. Finally, after a minute, or maybe an hour, she was picked up gently. She froze, unable to move, as it could have easily been one of them. "It's ok to open your eyes now, Fluttershy," a familiar voice spoke close to her ear just loud enough for her to hear. She did as she was told, opening them slowly to see that mask staring her in the face. The normally scary image came to her like a blessing, filling her with an untold amount of relief. He was already walking away from the alley, carefully carrying her back towards her home. "They won't bother you again. I promise," he told her reassuringly. She started to cry, putting her face into his shirt. She began letting all the emotions from the intense and terrifying scene flow out. Perry remained quiet, letting her have her deserved moment of peace.

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She was asleep by the time Perry got back to her cottage. He opened the door and stepped inside, setting her down on the couch. He noticed a small shivering white ball on there as well. It looked up at him, eyes looking red and nose runny. "You must be Angel. Fluttershy told me about you," Fluttershy started to stir as she heard the talking.

"P...Perry?" she asked slowly. He turned towards her and nodded.

"Don't worry. You're safe at home now. What were you thinking heading out this late at night?" he asked, concerned. She looked down towards the ground, sniffling.

"Angel was getting sick...and I didn't want him...to suffer...so I went to get some medicine..." she was still shaking slightly, having a hard time speaking. "I was on my way back to the store when those men...they told me that an injured animal was seen in the alley there, so I went to help. I knew they were troublemakers, but...and...well..." she burst into tears again. Perry got down on his knees and softly hugged her.

"Shh...It's ok, you're safe now and that's all that matters. They won't bother you again. You're safe at home now," he told her, still hugging her.

"The medicine. It's in my handbag..." she told him. He handed it to her, letting her go as she gave the small animal one of the tablets. He heard how rebellious it was so he was shocked to see it eat it without a second thought. It must have known that it would help and just wanted to feel better.

"I must be going now. It's..." he started but was quickly interrupted.

"No!" Fluttershy cried out. She quickly covered her mouth, shaking her head quickly. Perry stood there patiently. waiting for her to speak again. She took a breath in, looking at him nervously. "...please...stay a little longer," she asked him, tears still in her eyes. He didn't want to be around her right now, but something in the way that she spoke told him to give in to her request.

"All right," Perry said, shrugging in defeat. "I'll stay here then. I just have to write a letter to a friend back in Canterlot first. Do you have any paper I can use?" he asked. She pointed to a desk with a quill and parchment. Walking over and picking up the quill, he quickly started writing out a letter. "...aaaaand done," he placed the quill down and rolled the letter up. "I will be right back. I just have to get this sent out," she nodded and watched him walk outside. A bright flash and a minute later, he walked back in and sat down next to her. "You can rest now. I'll stick around as long as you need me to," she smiled at him slightly as she rested her head on his chest, drifting off into a peaceful sleep.

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A group of darkly dressed men walked into the alley that Fluttershy was attacked in. Most of them began looking around while one kept watch. They lifted up a few trash bags, not surprised to find the contents hidden under them. "Here it is," he told the others, moving the bags to find the corpse of the man from earlier, his head completely twisted backwards. "At least he had the sense to not make a mess this time."

A small pop could be heard from within the alley, as out of nowhere a woman in a shimmering blue gown appeared in front of the men. She folded in her dark blue wings, looking over the scene holding a letter in her hands. She sighed at the sight, knowing that it would have been unavoidable. She rather hoped the one responsible would not have done so to begin with, but was somewhat relieved that it had at least been in defense of another. Feeling around the air with her magic, she could sense the hostile emotions from both parties, though somewhat startled by the lack of a certain emotion that she normally detected from this fight's victor. She looked over the letter again, double checking it.

Dear Princess Luna,

An unfortunate incident occured earlier tonight, in which I was threatened with deadly force by another individual while trying to protect the Element of Kindness. I kept the casualties to a minimum, and using restrain, alternative means were taken to prevent the others from identifying me. They won't cause anyone more trouble to Ponyville, as I hear they have. I have deemed it necessary to ask for a clean up crew for this incident, as I wish to not startle the citizens of Ponyville with something unnecessary. The address is below the letter, so please make haste. As per the arrangement, I declare my one freebie used and will try not to cause any trouble for you and your staff again until I return from my vacation. I believe this incident to be a fluke anyhow, as the residents here are generally quite nice. Thank you for your immediate action, and I hope I haven't ruined your night.

Sincerely

Pierrot.