The Sweetest Music

Chapter Twenty-Five

Kind of Blue

***

"Lyra, we need to have a talk."

Lyra groaned a little and extinguished her cigarette as she rolled over on the single bed, which, placed right next to a similar bed that they had brought from a similar room, made a quite cosy double bed. Maybe they'd buy a real double bed: they could think about the justification - the cover-up - later. They could make this room their bedroom and the other one a library or something: Bon-Bon had a real love for reading books at home. They could always just separate the two beds if they were expecting guests. If they were ever expecting guests.

"Lyra, I-" Bon-Bon began, but the mint pony just interrupted her, staring at the ceiling. There was a lamp that she didn't particularly like: they'd have to replace it, probably. Replacing things made them look more homely, more suitable to one's self - didn't it?

"Bonnie, you don't even realise how I hate that guy." The door was closed, the curtains shut, the bedroom door closed, their voices lowered. They'd have to invest in some soundproof walls, both for making music and... well, "making music". As in, sexy times. "The pegasus who kissed your hoof. He was so... ugly. I just wanted to kick him straight in the face. I wanted to tear him apart. I still want it. Or I don't. I dunno." Lyra buried her face in her mare's fur as the cream-coloured pony just lay next to her, listening. "I love you so much, Bonnie," the minty mare mumbled into her mare's fur. "More than you can imagine. Probably even more than I can imagine. I... Don't try to understand." Love didn't need to be understood, after all, right? It needed to be felt. Just felt. Experienced. "Just take it for granted. As a fact. I love you, Bonnie."

Bon-Bon stroked her mare's mane. "I know, Lyra. I love you too. I love you so very, very much." Even though they hadn't known each other that much - and even though they had probably been drawn to each other by despair and desperation, not in the least sexual; though, of course, there had been a desire to love and to be loved - Bon-Bon was sure that she loved Lyra. And she knew that Lyra knew. And she knew that Lyra felt the same and knew that she, Bon-Bon knew it. And vice versa, and so on. "That's why it pains me so much when I see you depressed, or apathetic, or angry. And forget that pegasus in the lift! It never happened. It so never happened. We have a bright, wonderful life ahead of us. There will be difficulties, but we know how to hide. We know how to make enough money to make sure we have all the necessary conditions to be isolated and happy in our isolation." And maybe, some day, the law will be abolished... No, such thoughts would do no good. They had to do with what they had. With what they could - have. "We will have a nice, happy life. Together."

"Together," Lyra echoed. Yes. That sounds right. She sighed. "Bonnie, you know there's a reason why I've been so... distant." That must be the right word.

"I know, Lyra, honey. I know." Bon-Bon winced. "And I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry!" she almost shouted. Almost. "I'm sorry that I just can't mourn your mother's death. I'm sorry that I'm so hopeful, so... happy. I'm happy because I have you, Lyra: nothing else. No other reason. No other reason needed. I'm sorry for not mourning with you, but I just can't grieve!" Bon-Bon felt tears crawling onto her cheeks, a lump in her throat finally breaking.

Now it was Lyra's turn to calm her mare, stroking the two-toned mane. "Shh. Bonnie, listen, it's all right. No really. I do not want you to grieve. I do not want you to be sad. It's... It... was my mother, not yours." Bon-Bon opened her mouth to protest - somehow - but Lyra hushed her. "I mean it, Bonnie. Maybe I have become heartless but... I am coping. Really. It's hard, and sometimes impossible, but I'm... you know, I think I'm coping. I'm overcoming." Lyra nodded to herself - and to her mare. "I know it'll hurt a lot - for a while - and I can't even cry..." Bon-Bon dried her own tears. "But I know that, maybe, in a few years, I'll... move on. We all have to move on." Bon-Bon looked into her mare's deep, pained eyes and couldn't help but plant a kiss on the minty lips. "I love you, Bonnie," Lyra said upon breaking the kiss. "And I want you to be happy. When you are happy, I look at you and I want to be happy too. There's enough adversity in the world. I want happiness. I will mourn my mother's death, but... But I know she would want for me to feel happy, and sappy as it sounds. And I feel happy when I'm with you - near you. Just lying with you like that, you know?"

"Lyra," Bon-Bon whispered, now feeling the minty mare giving her a gentle, prolonged kiss. "I... I understand. I will try to make you happy." A flash of determination could be well-seen in the confectioner's eyes. "Because I love you."

The mares just lay there in silence for a while. But it was comforable - or, at least, acceptable - silence. The talk had gone... pretty well. Not really what Bon-Bon had expected. but... No, pretty much what I had expected, actually, she thought. Yes, she felt... easier now. And so did Lyra, she mused, if only the small, tired smile on Lyra's face was any indication. Lyra did feel better. The mint mare lay next to her confectioner, thinking about how simple words from one's lover could heal one's - damaged - maybe even very damaged - soul.

"Lyra, honey." The minty mare turned her head. "I have an idea. Maybe you won't like it," Bon-Bon said carefully, "but how about we check out that recording studio at that label of yours?" She didn't want to emphasise on, 'the label you're running now'. So what if Alexandro was the owner - what was the difference? He didn't have interest in the label. He would just pay taxes. "You could take your lyre. You know, to check the equipment and everything." Bon-Bon smiled a little.

The minty mare returned the smile, maybe on a lesser scale - but a smile, a genuine one, nevertheless. "Yes, that would be wonderful, Bonnie. Just let me catch an hour of sleep."

Lyra closed her eyes.