I trotted down the street, waving to everypony. They all returned my wave with a wave of their own, a happy smile on their faces.

I love this town, the ponies here don't judge you based on your looks.

Why did I even move to Canterlot? Why didn't I ask for a house here instead? Yeah, I'm an idiot.

[Yes, yes you are my dear boy.]

After a few more waves, I arrived at the boutiques door.

When I reached for the doorknob, I noticed a sign attached to the door. It read: 'Sorry, but we're closed'.

I huffed, I wanted to show off Spark.

<Dude, just go in. You're their friend after all.>

I shrugged and opened the door.

Inside, it was silent and dark. There was a strange feeling in the air, but I couldn't place my hoof on it.

I walked in and let the door close behind me, cutting off the light to the room. I heard some muffled voices on the other side of the room, so I made my way across.

Once there, I saw some light coming from under the door. I smiled, found them.

I opened the door and took a step in.

My smile disappeared, and said under my breath, "I should have seen this coming."

Peter was strapped to the wall in a awkward position, a gag of some sorts stuck in his mouth. I'm not going to explain the other... details.

Rarity was... uhhh.... having fun with him.

[Free bondage porn!]
<BDSM!>

I quickly covered Spark's eyes with my wings and began backing out of the room.

Peter looked up and began to thrash around, trying to tell Rarity I was in the room.

Rarity's horn began to glow and Peter was pushed against the wall, "Oh, is somepony trying to be naughty and disobey his mistress?"

My mouth dropped, I didn't know ponies knew about this stuff!

I backed away from the door and out of sight. I did not want to see that.

[I do! Go back, go back!]
{Nah.}
[Fuck you sideways with a fucking torn bush!]
<Ouch...>

I walk out the door and sigh, that was strange and awkward. Lucky Peter, Twilight has never done that to me!

[Maybe I can convince her.]
{No, because it will end up with me sleeping on the couch... or that dog house she made me build outside. Why did she make me build it anyway?}
<Wait... where did all our dogs go?>
{Holy shit! I forgot all about them! I wonder where they are.}

Weedy stood off to the side, wearing his fedora. He watched as his brothers, Leonardo and Churchill, both trying to figure out a way to get across the river safely.

They had all left home, wanting to get find the place their mother had talked about. A place where dogs ran free and proud, with no worries or regrets.

Of course, they missed their pony masters, but, you can't hold a dog down forever. They may return, maybe.

Weedy looked back at his brothers and rubbed a paw to his face and began to bark at them, 'You numb skulls! You don't use a rock to float across a river!'

Churchill turned to him and barked angrily, 'Shut it Weedy! We're doing our best!'

Weedy rolled his eyes, 'Your best being your worst.'

Leonardo looked at Churchill and sighed, 'I hate being the younger brother.'

Churchill raised an eyebrow, 'We don't know who is older. We all came out at the same time.'

Leonardo nodded, 'I see. But why is he the boss?'

'Because he can kick our little asses.' Churchill said with a smirk.

Leonardo hung his head, 'True... lets get across this river. Shall we?'

What is with all the ponies? They're all seem to be avoiding me all of a sudden. Its strange.

I'm also seeing less and less ponies around, very very strange.

Spark was still on my back, chewing on my right wing.

So damn cute!

I smile to myself as I walk down the now empty street.

I stop and look around, a curious look on my face, "What the hell?"

<Damn, this is like Silent hills...>
[Yeah, the pony version...]

I shudder at the though. This better not be some murder scene where I have to fight for my life... and my sons life.

I heard the sound of hooves on cobber stone behind me.

I tensed up and I twisted around to see... Ditzy running towards me.

I relax and smile, "Hey Ditzy, what you doing?"

She came to a halt in front of me, but ended up doing a small front flip.

I chuckled and helped her up.

She giggled and grabbed my hoof, "Come with me! Its important!"

I laughed as she pulled me down the street, towards the library.

I wonder what she wants?

[... Hot sex?]
<Dude.... why?>
[I don't know, bored I guess.]

She stopped in front of the door and jumped behind me and pushed me through it. Spark laughing the whole time.

When I was pushed into the room and the door closed, I heard some whispering.

Suddenly, the lights flared to life, "SURPRISE!"

I recoiled backwards, almost dropping Spark.

All the ponies were smiling and wearing... party hats?

Above them was a banner, 'Happy birthday Lance!'

Happy birthday? Wha?

<Oh my God! Today's our birthday!>
[Holy shit! How did we forget?!]

Twilight walked out of the crowd, a large smile on her face. She trotted over to me and gave me a peck on the cheek, "Happy birthday honey."

I blink a few times and smile, "So that's why you wanted me to go out."

She smiled proudly, "Exactly."

I chuckled and returned her kiss, "Thanks. How did you know today was my B-day?"

She gave a smug look, "Your mom."

[Can't tell if she's trolling, or serious...]

I chuckle, "I see. I'll have to thank her later."

Twilight levitated Spark off my back and nuzzled him, "And how was my baby boy today?"

He laughed and giggled as she nuzzled his nose.

I smiled at the sight, "He was great. Thanks Twi, for making me spend the day with him."

She looked at me and smirked, "I knew you would have fun." She then waved her hoof at the crowd, "Now, go and enjoy your party."

I smiled and walked into the crowd, most of them saying, 'Happy birthday'.

Today just kept getting better and better.

As I walked through the crowd, I ran into Greg. What'a surprise...

He turned and smiled, "Lance, buddy, amigo, what's up?"

I let out a small laugh, "Nothing much Greg."

He nodded, "So, how old are you now? Fifteen?"

I hang my head and shake it, chuckling, "No dude, I'm eighteen now."

"Eighteen? Wow."

I look up and smirk, "I'm younger than you and already got married."

He rolled his eyes and waved me off, "So what? I got Pinkie Pie, and that's ten times better." He then turned about face and walked off.

I turned and continued to talk to all the ponies around me.

"Open mine first Lance!" Frederic said as he levitated a box in front of me.

I chuckled and grabbed it, "Alright, I'll open yours first."

I pumped his hoof into the air, "Oh yeah!"

I smile and look at the box, kinda small.

We was all in the library, alone. Just me, the bronies, and their marefriend's. All the other ponies had went home.

I tore the paper off the box and opened it, "Oh fuck yes! Thanks Frederic!"

Inside the box was a pair of goggles, same as mine, but those were the kind Frederic had given me before. The ones that can zoom in and see through smoke and fog. I've been using my old pair, since my other had been destroyed in the fight with Frederic's dad.

He smiled proudly, "No problem dude."

Greg levitated his over to me.

I chuckled and opened it. Inside was... what do you know, a I.O.U. No seriously, there was a piece of paper that said, I.O.U.

Greg smirked and laid back, wrapping his hoof around Pinkie.

Seth and Zorrow both kicked a single gift towards me.

After opening it, I raised an eyebrow, "Wow, I've always needed a.... bare of soap."

They both laughed and high hoofed, "Happy birthday man."

The next gift was from David and Rainbow Dash.

Of course the paper was the color of a rainbow, making it badass. I tore the paper off and looked inside.

A book? I would have expected this from Twilight, not those two. But, once I looked at the cover, I chuckled, "Daring Do, I've been wanting to read this."

Rainbow Dash smiled excitedly, "You're going to love it! I did!"

Next up was Vinetion. She handed me a piece of paper, "From me and Annabel."

I looked at it and stood up, "Best gift of the night people. Right here!"

The paper said the following:

Lance,

We promise not to pull any pranks on you for two months.

Annabel: I promise not to mess with your love life... again.

Vinetion: Meh, I just promise not to hurt you, or do pranks.

Signed,
Your two favorite pranksters (Trouble makers)

Everyone laughed at that, at least I don't have to worry about getting stuck in Twilight again.

Peter gave me his gift and jumped back, "Happy birthday Lance."

I eyed the gift and smiled, "Oh Rarity, can you help me with this?"

She smiled, "I'd be happy to Lance."

Peter's eyes went large, "Wait... ummm..."

Rarity trotted over and grabbed the box with her magic and brought it over to her. She then began to unwrap it. When she opened it, there was a small bang.

A semi small pie shot out and hit her in the face, followed by confetti, and then followed by feathers.

Rarity let out a scream and began to stomp, "Its in my mane!" She then glared at Peter, "You! We're going to have a talk when we get home!"

Peter hung his head, "I know."

I smirked. Prank successfully ruined.

The rest of the gift giving went off with out a problem. A nice hat from Spike, a spa coupons from Fluttershy, a cowboy hat from Applejack (Fucking finally!), a awesome scarf from Cody, a basket of muffins from Ditzy (I'm not surprised.), a nice looking sweater from Dali (Made by her hooves.), a new black saddlebag from Drax (YES! Black saddlebags!), a fedora from Shadow Breeze, and from Twilight, I got a book on parenting (I saw that one coming.)

I thanked everyone for their gifts and gave a few hugs.

Today was truly awesome! But the gift giving wasn't over yet.

"Okay everypony, stay right here. I have to go get something from the store." I said as I walked towards the door. I hope they're still selling it.

I trotted back into the room a bag in my mouth, "I'm back!"

Everypony looked at me, "Whats in the bag?"

I put it down and smiled, "A present for Spark."

Twilight smiled and carried Spark over to me and sat him down.

I ruffled his hair with my hoof and leaned down, "Hey bud, wanna new toy?"

He rocked back and forth on his haunches.

I laughed loudly and opened the bag, and looked at the bronies, "Okay you bronies. This is something you all would kill for back on earth."

I pulled out a plushy and held it up.

All the bronies gasped and went slightly fan crazy, "A Spitfire plushy!"

"They actually make and sell those here?"

"I'm going to the store and buying the whole stock!"

I chuckled and leaned down, "Here you go." I put the Spitfire plushy in Spark's lap. He then hugged it and held it close.

[The fucking D'awwww meter is going off the charts!]
<That's so cute! I wish we had a camera!>

I picked Spark up and nuzzled his nose and looked at everyone else, "Best day of my life."

Next Chapter: Who am I?! Estimated time remaining: 55 Hours