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Jak: Adventures in Equestria

by Timaeus

Chapter 3: Damn Kids

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Damn Kids

As Celestia’s sun ascended over the peaks of the Canterlot mountains, a single sunbeam was able to penetrate the one gap of the curtains of a room high up in the Canterlot palace. The sunbeam managed to fall onto the eyes of the current occupant of said room. With a moan of protest, Twilight Sparkle rolled to the side to try and remain in the peaceful bliss that was sleep. It was an attempt in vain, as the light and required movement had succeeded in rousing the lavender unicorn from her slumber.

Deciding to be productive now that she was awake instead of lie in bed uselessly, Twilight hopped out of bed and stretched. After a few satisfying cracks from her back, she moved to open the curtains fully. Celestia had been kind enough to keep Twilight’s old tower in pristine condition and was more than happy to allow her to return to her former residence and the palace with her friends from Ponyville.

As Twilight looked out the window at the glory of Canterlot in the morning sunrise, she couldn’t help but think of that strange creature that appeared in the middle of the Grand Galloping Gala just last night.

Her eyes filled with concern she looked down at the city below and the only thing keeping that thing from escaping into the rest of Equestria: her brother’s shield spell.

It can’t be easy for Shining to maintain that spell. Maybe I should ask him to teach it to me so he can take a break and recharge. We don’t want a repeat of the Changeling invasion, and I’m sure Celestia and Luna would agree with me.

As she ruminated, Twilight moved herself away from the view to her bedside mirror to go about the rest of her morning routine. For the past twelve years, she woke, brushed her mane exactly 120 times, woke Spike, and proceeded to eat a healthy breakfast. Today was Tuesday, that meant oats and honey for breakfast.

Rainbow said the creature just disappeared from sight while she was chasing it. It’s unlikely that it managed to out-race her, she is Rainbow Dash after all, and while she may be a bit arrogant, she can certainly back it up, Twilight thought, harkening back to the Best Young Flier Competition in Cloudsdale just the year prior.

So that means it either tricked her somehow…or performed some kind of spell that either teleported it or made it invisible. Invisibility is a complex spell only the most accomplished unicorns can cast, and even then only for a few minutes before we go into magical fatigue… This thing was dangerous enough before with that weird weapon…but if it can use magic of that calibre it could be major trouble…

Twilight was interrupted from her inner monologue when she heard a rapid knocking on her door. Before she could even say ‘come in’ her door was thrown open and a prismatic blur zipped into the room.

“Uhh…good morning, Rainbow Dash? Anything I can help you with?” Twilight asked, still in the midst of taming her mane and confused by her friend’s dramatic appearance.

“Huh? Oh, mornin’ Twi.” Rainbow grumbled as she paced her friend’s room, wings twitching in agitation and brow furrowed.

“You’re not still upset about last night, are you? You couldn’t have possibly known what kinds of tricks that thing had up its sleeves when you chased after it. It’s not your fault that it got away. In fact, I’d say that it’s a miracle nopony got hurt,” Twilight explained, doing her best to console her ego-bruised friend.

“No, no, no! That’s not it! Ugh, you don’t get it! I lost, Twi! That thing was able to outmaneuver me! Nopony’s ever been able to do that! Okay, maybe Lightning Dust was on par with me, but she was never any better than me. Rainbow Dash does not lose! How can I be the Element of Loyalty if I can’t even help catch a stupid elf-thing?” she said miserably as she slumped to her haunches.

Twilight stopped her brushing to move over to her friend. She sat down next to Rainbow and put a leg over her shoulder to pull her into a hug.

“Come on now, don’t say things like that. Whatever that creature was, it kind of made foals out of all of us. How do you think the Royal Guard feels, being bested when they had it outnumbered ten to one? It got the drop on us, took us by surprise. Don’t worry, we’ll catch it. With Shining’s forcefield up it still has to be somewhere in the city. You’ll get another chance at catching him, okay?”

“Okay. Thanks Twi, I needed that,” Rainbow said as she returned the hug.

“Right, so any other reason why you decided to burst into my room this early in the morning?” Twilight asked, giggling as she pulled away from the hug.

“What? Oh! Right, sorry I forgot,” Rainbow smiled sheepishly, “Princess Celestia said she wants to meet with us, your brother, Princess Cadance, and Princess Luna in the courtyard after we’ve all had breakfast. Something about plans for tracking down that thing running around Canterlot and what we do when we catch it.”

“In that case we’d better get going and get some breakfast. I’m starving and I don’t want to keep the Princesses waiting longer than necessary,” Twilight said walking to the door, Rainbow Dash following behind.


Jak was roused from his restless slumber by a rumbling noise. Opening his eyes slowly, Jak waited for his eyes to fully adjust to the soft glowing of the many crystals that littered the walls, ceiling, and floor of the cave he was currently occupying. Scanning the room for the source of the grumbling that woke him, another rumble informed him that it came from his own stomach.

Well that’s a little embarrassing. Good thing it’s just me down here, Dax would give me a hard time about this for weeks.

Dax…I hope he’s okay. Hopefully by now he either found some way back to Haven or Ashelin sent out a scouting party to look for us. Maybe Samos or Keira will be able to figure out a way to open up another portal so I can get home. But how would they know where I am? I have to find some way to get a message to them, at least to let them know that I’m okay…

Another grumble from his complaining, empty stomach.

But first thing’s first, I need to find some food and water. I haven’t had anything to eat since I left Haven City for that last mission…meaning I’ve gone almost two days without food. I know I passed a bazaar when trying to lose that flying rainbow-pony. What was her name, Rainbow Crash? Colour Dash? Rainbow Dash? Yeah, that was it, Rainbow Dash.

Jak stood and stretched his sore back. As it turns out, sleeping on the rocky, bumpy floor of a cold stone cave doesn’t exactly do wonders for you in the morning.

He unbuckled his bracers, shin guards, and breast plate, placing the bronze pieces of armour on the cave floor, next to a particularly brightly glowing crystal. Next to them he placed his Morph Gun.

If I’m going to be running around a city on high-alert, I’m going to need to be quick and quiet. This stuff would only weigh me down and make me easier to spot. Not sure how much it will help considering I stick out like a sore thumb in a city full of ponies. I can outfight most of these ponies anyways, and besides, I have plenty of Dark Eco to spare if I really get in a pinch.

Opting to only keep his shoulder-guards and bracers on with his Hover Board still strapped to his back in case a quick escape was needed, Jak stretched once more, now relieved of much of the weight he was carrying before. As he did, he heard the trickle of what sounded like a stream nearby.

Following the sound to its source, Jak discovered a small stream flowing from one of the cave walls and welling up into a small spring. Cupping his hands, Jak took several long drinks of the cool water. Strange, this water is actually really good. Like, really good. It must be the minerals that the water picked up while flowing through the caves. Who knows what these crystal caves are made of, Jak thought to himself.

Splashing some water on his face, Jak began to plot out his next move. 1) He needed to find a way out of these caves, 2) he needed to find a way to navigate the city without getting caught, 3) he needed to find some food, badly, and 4) he needed to figure out what’s creating the forcefield so he can take it out and get out of the city.

Once I get out of the city, I can hide out in the wilderness. If I can survive underground mines, ancient Precursor Temples, the desert, and the sewers of Haven City, how bad can the forest be? But I’m getting ahead of myself. How the hell do I get out of this damn cave? These crystals are really starting to weird me out. Back home, when crystals were glowing, it meant that they were concentrated forms of eco that could be harnessed. Does eco even exist here?

Jak spotted a glowing white crystal just off to his left by the spring. Studying the crystal, eventually Jak’s curiosity got the better of him and he reached out to touch the crystal.

If these things are powered by eco, then I might be able to harness them.

Jak grabbed the crystal, and nothing happened. Disappointed, Jak tried again, this time focusing on extracting any eco-energy from within the depths of the crystalline object before him. As he did, his hand began to glow in a familiar icy-blue, almost white, aura. He absorbed the energy from the crystal until it was spent, the crystal now a lifeless gray colour.

Light Eco…so there is eco here. That’s…convenient.

A dark smile plastered across his face, Jak rose to his full height, with both his Dark Eco and Light Eco reserves completely replenished. Holding his hand in front of his face, Jak watched as the lingering aura of the Light Eco flowed around him and into him, rejuvenating his body and mind. A beam of sunlight fell onto his outstretched hand, and Jak turned to see an exit to the cave far above him. He looked upwards to see the exit platform separated from the rest of the upper levels of the cave by a chasm that led down to where he was standing. Broken mine cart tracks led further into the cave.

So this used to be a mine, huh? Some things never change. By the look of things, it looks like the ponies here abandoned this mine a long time ago. This place should serve as a good hiding spot from the guards, at least for now. Unless they’re total idiots, they will probably send a search party down here sooner or later. Whatever, time to get something to eat.

Jak focused the light energy now flowing through his body, and his entire form took on the same icy-blue glow from before, blurring his figure and turning his eyes a ghostly white. Concentrating more, the white eco focused and began to take physical form as a pair of large, angel-like wings on his back.

“Light Jak,” as this form was known to his friends, gave a powerful flap of his wings and took to the air. Within a few seconds he reached the upper levels of the cave. Upon landing he quickly dispelled the powers of the white eco. His wings, along with the aura surrounding his body, blinked out of existence, leaving only a few sparks floating in the air before they too disappeared.

“Phew,” Jak mumbled to himself, “I keep on forgetting how much flight takes out of me. I’m going to have to be more careful in how often I use it while here.”

A faint breeze blowing through the entrance to the cave, Jak steeled himself for a full day of creeping through city streets, avoiding guards at every turn, and finding a way back into the palace. If there was one place that would give him some answers, it would be there.

This is probably suicide. Sneaking into the palace the day after I put the city on red-alert? Just like Haven City all over again. Let’s see if these guards are any brighter than the Krimson Guard.

Smirking, Jak walked into the light of day, and with it, began the latest, and possibly most challenging, of his adventures.


Twilight and her closest friends, Rainbow Dash, Applejack, Rarity, Pinkie Pie, and Fluttershy, all sat around a table in the dining hall of the Royal Canterlot Palace. Still finishing up their breakfasts, the group busied themselves with talking about the strange creature that invaded the palace and effectively ruined the Grand Galloping Gala.

“So Rainbow, what do ya make of this creature?” asked Applejack as she prodded her apple fritter.

“Why are you asking me?” Rainbow responded through a mouthful of pancakes.

“Please Rainbow, we are dining at the Royal Canterlot Palace! Mind your manners for once while we stay here and swallow before you speak! It’s incredibly rude not to!” snapped Rarity as she sipped her morning tea.

Rainbow only rolled her eyes at the fashionista before swallowing and turning back to Applejack. “It’s not like I know the guy or anything.”

“True, but you do have the most experience with the varmint out of any of us,” the cowpony retorted.

“I dunno! I was chasing after him, it’s not like I had time to stop and ask him ‘Oh hi, I’m Rainbow Dash, what’s your name and why in the name of Tartarus did you just fall out of the sky and beat the living ponyfeathers out of Princess Celestia’s Royal Guard?’” Rainbow exclaimed, throwing her hooves up into the air.

“Hmph!” snorted Rarity, “I don’t see the point in discussing this any further. Whatever it was, it was a scoundrel and a ruffian that absolutely spoiled the entire night.”

Fluttershy looked up from her bowl of cereal and squeaked out “Maybe he isn’t so bad.”

“WHAT!?” Rainbow exclaimed, giving her shy friend an accusatory glare from across the table.

Fluttershy eeped and hid behind her pink mane. “W-well, I only mean that he must have been really frightened. I know I would have been if I was ended up somewhere different. A-and it’s not like he really hurt anypony…” Fluttershy explained in a barely audible voice.

“Yeah! Maybe we all just scared him, like a surprise that was an itsy-bitsy little-wittle bit too surprise-y!” Pinkie said excitedly bouncing while speaking. *GASP* “What if he doesn’t have any friends?! That would be just abso-tutely-lutely the worst possible thing! When we find him, we could throw him a party!”

“Pinkie, I don’t think he’s the partying type, or the type for friends sugarcube,” Applejack deadpanned, “he seemed awful dangerous to me. The way he just took out all those guards without breaking a sweat and that strange contraption he used…he just creeps me out. What do you think, Twi?”

Twilight paused her eating, not that she had eaten very much anyways, and put a hoof to her chin in thought. She closed her eyes, speaking slowly, “Well…the portal brought him here was a type of magic I’ve never seen before. While it’s possible to teleport, creating a magical portal, especially one that big, should be impossible.”

“Excuse me, Twilight darling, but what does this have to do with the creature?” Rarity interjected.

“I was getting to that,” Twilight said, opening her eyes to give Rarity a look that told her to shut up.

“Ha! Now who’s forgotten their manners Rarity?” Rainbow sneered, pointing an accusatory hoof at her alabaster friend.

Twilight turned her glare to Rainbow, and her prismatic friend promptly sat back down with an apologetic smile.

“Now, as I was trying to explain, the very fact that a portal opened up and deposited our new friend here in Equestria suggests that he may not even come from our world.”

“You mean it’s an ALIEN?!” Pinkie shouted, her smile growing bigger with each passing second.

“Err, yes, theoretically speaking. We’d have to catch him and ask it to be sure, but that seems to me to be the most plausible explanation. And until we do catch it, its goals and objectives are unknown, and it is a threat if left unchecked. Luckily, with my brother’s forcefield up, it won’t be leaving the city anytime soon. Can you imagine what kind of havoc it could cause if it ever got out into the rest of Equestria? But I can’t deny that I’m really curious about this creature. There are so many questions I want to ask it! Where does it come from, how did it get here, does it have a name!”

“Woah there Twilight, let’s just focus on catching the varmint first before we play 20 Questions,” Applejack said, putting a calming hoof on her lavender friend’s shoulder.

“Oh, of course,” Twilight said with a sheepish smile on her face, “ahem, we should probably go out to the courtyard and see what the Princesses wanted to talk to us about.”


Jak prowled through the alleys of Canterlot, a bag of recently obtained apples in hand. It had been easy enough, he used his Dark Eco to once again make himself invisible, and when the pony at the apple stand wasn’t looking, Jak “liberated” a small sack of good from his cart before ducking into another alley.

Enjoying the spoils of his efforts, Jak found that the apples here were, well, delicious. Finishing his third apple, he tossed the core into a nearby dumpster, all the while making sure he stayed in the shadows and out of sight.

As he cautiously wandered through the bustling city, he noticed that the forcefield that prevented his escape yesterday was still standing strong. The one thing that kept him from his freedom, and he had no idea how he was going to take it out. He shifted his gaze to the palace, easily seen from any corner of the city.

It was truly a splendor of architectural achievement, especially by ponies that have no hands to manipulate tools with. It looked to be made of white marble, with various towers and turrets reaching high into the sky, each adorned with brilliantly shining gold and purple designs.

If anything, these Princesses have style.

Jak heard movement coming from a connecting alley to his left, and immediately ducked behind a dumpster, quietly watching and waiting for whoever it was to pass by so he could resume his journey back into the palace. What he saw surprised him. A small pony that had the same colourings of a pinto horse came running down the alley. He looked scared, eyes wide and darting back and forth as if looking for some way to escape from something.

A kid? What’s he doing alone in these alleys? And what’s he running from?

“Aww, somepony lost?” came a sneering voice from further down the alley, cutting the young foal off from his only escape route.

The pinto-patterned foal stopped in his tracks, trembling and backing up into the alley wall as the figure came into light.

What the hell is that?

The creature that stepped into the light looked like part of a lion crossed with part of an eagle. She had razor sharp talons and a beak to match. Easily larger than most ponies, Jak could see how a little kid would be scared stiff of this “griffon.”

“What’s the matter kid, lose your mommy?” the griffon leered, “Oh don’t worry, I won’t hurt you, just as long as you give me what I want.”

“W-w-w-what do you w-w-want?” the foal asked, on the verge of tears.

“I saw you walking down the street with that cross-eyed pegasus freak from that loser town Ponyville and her dumb kid. I also happened to notice that they gave you a bag full of bits. Seems to me that a kid like you doesn’t need that much cash, I think it would be a much better idea if you gave me the money instead, don’t you?” the griffon threatened, examining her talons.

“W-w-w-what?”

“Geez, kid, how thick are you?! Fork over everything you have, and you just might find your friends again in one piece!” the griffon threatened, moving closer to the crying foal with every word.

Oh great, Jak thought. It would be easy to let the griffon have her way with kid and slip away unnoticed. But then again…

Just as the griffon was about to reach the young pony, talons extended, Jak sprung from his hiding place behind the dumpster and delivered a powerful punch to the griffon’s side. The griffon sprawled out on the ground away from the foal, but quickly got to her feet, head steaming from the pure anger of somepony interfering.

“OKAY! WHO’S GOT THE NERVE TO SUCKER PUNCH ME LIKE THAT?! NOPONY HITS ME LIKE THAT AND LIVES TO TELL THE TALE!!!” the griffon roared.

Jak stepped fully into the light, revealing himself fully to the enraged griffon and frightened foal before him. The griffon stepped back in surprise and the foal attempted to push himself further into the wall, hoping that this strange creature wouldn’t turn its attention to him.

“So, you like to push kids around, huh?” Jak asked, his eyes cold as ice and they bored into the griffon’s own.

He took a step forward, cracking his knuckles, “I have a problem with bullies. If you want to pick on someone, try me on for size. That is, if you’re not a chicken you feathered-freak.”

“You! You’re the one they’re looking for! You’re the reason I can’t get out of this lame city! Ohohhohh I’m going to enjoy sending you to the guard in pieces. Who knows, the princesses will probably knight me for my superior service. Sir Gilda, I like the sound of that,” the griffon taunted, lowering herself into a crouch, ready to pounce at the first sign of movement.

Jak smirked, and with a crackle of Dark Eco, blinked out of existence. Stunned and slack-jawed, Gilda searched the alleyway for her foe. Jak reappeared right in front of her and delivered a spin kick to the side of her head, sending her flying into the alley wall. Not giving her a chance to recover, Jak lunged forward and punched her right in the gut, winding the griffon, and transitioned into a quick uppercut punch that left her dazed and slumped against the Wasteland Hero.

Jak grabbed her by the throat and held her up against the alley wall. Holding her in place, Jak growled “If I ever see you threatening this kid again, I will personally pluck every feather from your useless hide and fry you for dinner.”

With that Jak tossed her into the dumpster that he was only moments before hiding behind and slammed the lid shut. Brushing his hands off on his tunic, Jak turned to the foal only to see him still cowering against the alley wall.

Oh good, now I’ve traumatized a kid. This day just keeps on getting better and better.

Jak sighed, “Get out of here, kid. Go find your friends and don’t go wandering off alone, you never know who you might run into in these alleys.”

Jak walked past the frightened foal and back into the alleyway, making his way to the palace.

The pinto-patterned pony finally shook himself out of his fear-coma and chased after the strange creature that had just saved him from that horrible griffon.

“Wait! Wait, mister!” he called out after his bipedal saviour.

Jak stopped, a little shocked by the sudden outburst from the formerly silent child. He turned sideways to properly face the pony.

“I, umm, just wanted to say thank you for saving me from that griffon,” he said, pawing a hoof at the ground and not quite meeting Jak’s eyes.

“I was really scared after I got lost from my friend Dinky and her mom. I only turned away for a moment and somehow I got separated from them in a crowd and ended up down here where that griffon started to chase me.”

Jak wasn’t quite used to this kind of praise from people, err, ponies. A little stunned, Jak recovered enough to respond to the foal. “Uhh, yeah sure, no problem. Seriously though, you should probably get out of here and wait for you friends to find you. There’s a nice apple stand just out of this alley over there,” Jak pointed behind the foal to the market. He turned to leave again.

“Wait! What’s your name? My name’s Pipsqueak, but my friends just call me Pip!”

“Nice to have met you Pip. My name’s Jak, now get out of here kid. I mean it.”

Pipsqueak nodded, but before he left used his mouth to stuff a red bandana into Jak’s hand.

“Okay, but take this bandana as thanks! It’s one of my favourites! I wore it on Nightmare Night last year when Princess Luna came to Ponyville!” Pip explained before happily running back out of the alley.

Momentarily stunned, Jak tied his new bandana to the strap of his shoulder-guard before once again setting off for the palace.

No more distractions, time to get some answers.

Next Chapter: Maybe I Was Wrong... Estimated time remaining: 47 Minutes
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