Star Wars Episode 1: The Cross Eyed Menace
Chapter 1
Load Full Story Next ChapterTurmoil has engulfed the Galactic Republic. The taxation of trade routes to outlaying star systems is in dispute. Hoping to resolve the matter with a blockade of deadly battleships, the greedy Trade Federation has stopped all shipping to the small planet of Equestria.
While the congress of the Republic endlessly debates this alarming chain of events, the Supreme Chancellor has secretly dispatched two Jedi Knights, the guardians of peace and justice in the galaxy, to settle the conflict.
“Captain”, said a female voice.
The captain turned in his seat to face the owner of the voice before saying, “Yes, sir?”
“Tell them we wish to board at once.”
“Yes, sir.”
The captain opened up a communication channel with the control ship in which sat Rover.
“With all due respect for the Trade Federation, the Ambassadors for the Supreme Chancellor wish to board immediately.” Said the captain of the Republic cruiser.
“Yes, yes. Ah, of course. As you know, our blockade is perfectly legal and we would be happy to receive the Ambassadors… Happy to.” Replied Rover.
Twilight looked out the main window at the battleship looming closer. Their small ship landed in the enormous main bay of the Federation battleship.
“Come on, Spike. Let’s get this over with.” She said as she disembarked the ship.
“They must be important if the Viceroy sent one of those useless protocol gearheads to greet them” said PK-4, a worker droid on the ship.
“A Republic cruiser! That’s trouble… Don’t you think-“
“I’m not made to think.” PK-4 cut him off.
“Hello, I am TC-14 at your service. This way, please.” Said a protocol droid to Twilight and Spike.
As they walked into a conference room TC-14 said, “I hope you will be comfortable here. My master will be with you shortly.” Before bowing and backing out the door.
Once the droid had left, Spike said to Twilight, “I have a bad feeling about this.”
Twilight replied, “I don’t sense anything.”
“Don’t centre on your anxiety, Spike. Be mindful of the living Force, my young Padawan.”
“Yes, Master. How do you think the trade viceroy will deal with the chancellor’s demands?” Spike questioned.
“These Federation types are cowards. The negotiations will be short.”
Meanwhile, on the bridge of the star ship Rover yelled, “What?! What did you say?!”
The Ambassadors are Jedi Knights, I believe.” Said TC-14.
“I knew it! They were sent to force a settlement! Blind me, we’re done for!” whimpered Rover’s aide.
“Stay calm. I’ll wager the Senate isn’t even aware of the Supreme Chancellor’s moves here. Go. Distract them until I can contact Lord Nightmare.” Rover said.
“Are you brain dead? I’m not going in there with two Jedi! Send the droid.” He said before turning to TC-14 who let out a squeaky sigh.
Back in the conference room, Spike asked, “Is it in their nature to make us wait this long?”
Twilight replied, “No. I sense an unusual amount of fear for something as trivial as this dispute,” as TC-14 walked in with drinks.
On the bridge, Rover and his aides are standing before a hologram of what appeared to be a hooded unicorn pony.
“This scheme of yours has failed, Lord Nightmare. This blockade is finished! We dare not go against these Jedi.” Said one of the aides.
“You seem more worried about the Jedi than you are of me. I am amused… Viceroy!” laughed a female voice.
“Yes, milord?” said a nervous Viceroy.
“I don’t want that stunted slime in my sight again. Do you understand?” said the hooded figure.
“Yes, milord.” Said the Viceroy before giving a fierce look to the Aide who promptly rushes off the bridge.
“This turn of events is unfortunate. We must accelerate our plans, Viceroy. Begin landing your troops.” She said.
“Ahh, my lord, is that legal?”
“I will make it legal.” She hissed back.
“And the Jedi?” he asked.
“The Chancellor should never have brought them into this. Kill them, immediately.”
“Yes, my lord, as you wish.”
Back in the ships hangar, the pilot yells, “Captain?! Look!” as a turret swings around to point directly at them.
“No! Warn-“ the captain yelled as the turret fired, destroying their ship.
Twilight and Spike leap out of their chairs, drawing their lightsabers, causing TC-14 to jump back in surprise, spilling their drinks.
“I’m sorry, sir! The Viceroy…” Whimpered the droid.
Spike and Twilight turn off their sabers and listen intently. They hear a faint hissing sound and Twilight yells, “Gas!”
They both hold their breath as the room fills up with a pale white cloud of gas.
Outside, in the hallway, a hologram of Rover appears, surrounded by battle droids.
“They must be dead by now. Destroy what’s left of them.” The Viceroy says.
As the hologram fades away, the door to the conference room opens. The droids cock their weapons as a silver droid walks out, saying “Oh, excuse me, so sorry.”
Just as the protocol droid passes the armed camp, two beams of light appear out of the fog.
All the droids are cut down in moments, causing the bridge to become a cacophony of alarms.
“What in blazes is going on down there?!” Rover exclaims.
“Have you ever encountered Jedi before, sir?” asks and aide.
“Well, not exactly, but I don’t…” he says in a panicked tone, “Seal off the bridge!”
“That won’t be enough, sir.” Says the aide as the doors slam shut.
“I want Droidekas up here now! Rover yells.
“We will not survive this…”
Outside, Twilight cuts several battle droids in half, creating a shower of sparks and metal parts. Spike raises his hand and several battle droids go flying. They make it to the door to the bridge and Twilight starts cutting through it.
Back inside the bridge, the crew is very nervous as sparks start flying off the doors.
“Close the blast doors!” Rover exclaims.
Three very thick doors close over the first one. Twilight pulls back her saber and stabs the door in the centre.
Chunks of molten metal start falling off the door, causing the aide to cry, “They’re still coming through!”
“Impossible! This is impossible! Where are those Droidekas?!”
The Droidekas roll down the hallway towards Twilight and Spike.
“Master! Destroyers!” calls out Spike.
“Offhand, I’d say this mission is past the negotiation stage.” replies Twilight.
The Droidekas begin firing at them, causing an explosion into which the Jedi disappear.
They then materialised at the end of the hall and leap into the ventilation system.
Twilight and Spike leap from a vent down into the hangar to see thousands of battle droids being loaded onto ships.
“Battle droids…” said Twilight.
“It’s an invasion army” said Spike.
“It’s an odd play for the Trade Federation. We’ve got to warn the Equestrians and contact Chancellor Trixie. Let’s split up. Stow aboard separate ships and meet down on the planet.”
“You were right about one thing, Master. The negotiations were short.”
(First chapter. I will continue this if I get positive feedback. Seeing as the Star Wars films are being released in 3D soon, I decided to ponify them. Comment, rate, tell me about any errors you fin etc.)
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