Darkness crept around me, cold enveloping from all sides. I couldn't feel anything, taste, struggle, or move at all, only hear.

   "I say we strip all his flesh and solve all his wounds!"

   Something groaned in annoyance. "Mischief dear, you always say that, for everything."  

   "Crunch the bones." Something loomed over me, something huge.

   I heard a slap, like someone had hit away a hand.

   "The same goes to you, Vigor. All you want is to hear crunching noises."

   "Ribcage shattering...."

  "But, Vanity, I need a well cooked face! How else can you make face pancakes, huh? You need faces for that!"

  Something powerful yet really monotone commanded, "Enough, all. Now, you did well in bringing him undamaged, Cherub."

   "Unequivocally."

   "So, Dirgey dear, what now?"

   "Phase one begins. Cherub, keep an eye on our...Catalyst. Ensure his success."

   "Indubitably."

   "What do we do, huh? Richter can smell the maple syrup!"

   "Skulls caving?"

   "Feed and wait."

   "What wait?! Hate, hate, I hate waiting! Nigel hates it too!"

   "Ah, come on my little Mischief dear. You have me to keep you company."

   I heard a gagging noise, like someone was vomiting.

   A disgusted grunt echoed. "Fine, be that way."

   "Cherub, let our guest go to his work."

   "Done."

   A rush of cold wind hit me. I felt again like I was falling and stretching, blacking out once more.

   I was laying down somewhere with a splitting headache. A spicy aroma hit my nose, vanilla and lavender. I was about to get up, until I heard some muffled noises. I focused on them, their clarity began cutting through my foggy mind.

   "Yeah well that's all fine'n dandy, Sugarcube, but we don't know what it is, or if we want it trott'n around."

   "Oh my, I hope the fall didn't hurt him."

   "Who cares if it's hurt? Just look at it! It's obviously from freakville."

   "Now, now, Dashie, there's no need to be rude. I for one find him interesting. Why, just look at that outfit, obviously high class."

   "Yeah, I think he's cool too! Why, I bet he loves to party!"

   I heard a frantic gasping noise. "We should totally have a G.Y.N.D.P if he wakes up!"

   "A what?"

   "A Glad You're Not Dead Party, Silly!"

   "You're so random, Pinkie."

   "But, what ever in the world is it?"

   "Ah don't know. Fluttershy?"

   "Sorry Girls, but I've never seen anything like him before."

   "How the hay do you know it's a him?"

   "I...I can just tell these things...."

   "Alright girls, let's calm down. Since we could not come up with a conclusive decision, I took the liberty of making a list of things we can do."

   "Not another one of your lists, Twilight."

   I heard something hit the floor, like someone stomped a foot down.

   "This is not a time to be slowly checking things off. This is a time for action!"

   Unless provoked, I was a pretty shy guy. I always hated the idea of sticking out in a crowd. With no idea where I was or who those people were, I remained unconscious until something came up.

   "Rainbow Dash, this is a perfect time for a little organization."

   Twilight said calmly, "Especially since we don't know what he is, or if he's a threat to Ponyville. Thinking and planning are the best courses of action at this point."

   Rainbow Dash and Twilight couldn't really be their names, right? How strange.

   Pinkie giggled. "Look guys, he's making funny faces!"

   My features had contorted with confusion at what I was hearing and pain from my head.

   Damn, I blew my own cover.

   I was slightly irked at that.

   Applejack added, "Well, guess the critter's still kick'n after all."

   "Yay! It's time for a G.Y.N.D.P!"

   Pinkie cheered as her party cannon blasted confetti everywhere. "G.Y.N.D.P, that spells fun for everypony!"

   Then images flashed in my mind, the fires, the little girl, my home, I gasped then shot up opening my eyes.

   They widened in disbelief towards my surroundings. There, standing in shock, were six ponies of varying colours, two with wings and two with horns. All of them shared perplexed and frightened looks.

   Two Pegasus and two unicorns? How vary strange.

   Rainbow Dash broke the graveyard silence. "Uh...."

   "Hi there!"

   I jumped when an explosion of pink clouded my view.

   She pointed to herself. "My name's Pinkie Pie and this is Twilight, Applejack, Rarity, Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash. So who are you and what brings you to Ponyville?"

   The horses are talking, speaking to me with words....I think I've lost my mind.

   The other colourful ponies walked closer all saying hello.

   My mind violently attempted to reject everything, making me want to scream. Face contorting with fear and confusion, I inhaled and let out what was building inside.

   "Aaaaaahhhhh!"

   Pinkie and the other ponies screamed back.

   A door burst open over to my upper right. A small purple Dragon ran out of the doorway, freaking me out further.

   "Why's everybody yell-"

   He set his green eyes on me.

   "Oh, hey, you're awake."

   He waved at me. "Hi, name's Spi-"

   I screamed again. They all screamed back at me.

   Running out of breath, my chest heaved for air. Screaming did not help my situation at all.

   They all were just staring at me.

   Gaping at the scene before me, I eyed around panting and blabbering to myself incoherent gibberish. It was not possible. How could I be inside a pastel world with colourful talking horses and a purple Dragon? It was settled, I had lost it. I tried to calm down, thinking if the deed was done, just go with it.

   Pinkie looked at me quizzically tilting her head.

   "Okay, either he said he's lost his mind, or he loves to rhyme."

   Pinkie gasped.

  "No way! I soo love to rhyme too, especially with a kazoo!" She pulled out of nowhere a bag and started riffling through it.

   How did she?

   I pointed at the spectacle, watching her with no clue where she got that bag from or how.

   Pinkie pulled out a kazoo and blew on it, then laughed.

   "Um, maybe he can't speak our language Pinkie." Twilight put a hoof to her mouth contemplating.

    "Yeah, or maybe yelling is his language." Spike crossed his arms.

    Pinkie giggled.

   "Imagine that, it'd be funny." She yelled at Spike and laughed.

    Smiling, Spike yelled back at Pinkie while laughing with her.

  Watching them made me relax a little. They spoke my language, so maybe it could've been worse.

   "Yes, well, just look at the poor thing. He's absolutely frightened to death."

   Rarity waved her fore hoof at me. "Fluttershy, you're good with....exotic animals. You see what you can do."

   My eyes settled on the yellow Pegasus. Seeing me, she sank into the floor while making an afraid sounding squee.

   She's the one scared of me? Why?

   I tried to push the thought back. While sitting on the table, I looked around trying to take in my surroundings and hopefully get a clue where I was.

   Huge book shelves surrounded me filled completely with books. I saw a writing desk to my left, while the whole room smelled like vanilla mixed with lavender. It was spicy and calming.

   I eyed a rather small door with a window at my left. I saw no other doors, so it had to be the front door. I felt so absurd, so socially awkward while in the midst of it all.

   I remained seated, deep in thought. A wind shifted a little to my right. I turned to face its source and bobbing in the air was that yellow Pegasus, covering her face with her front hooves, obviously shy.

   She cleared her throat. "Uh...um...oh...h-hey there...little guy...um-"

   Rainbow Dash cut her off. "Ask him if he can understand us, Fluttershy."

   Fluttershy turned back still hiding under her hooves. "Excuse me, but c-can you understand me?"

   Fluttershy huh? Aw, she's adorable.

   I could not help but crack a large smile.

   "Oh, thank goodness."  Fluttershy sighed and opened up a little.

   Twilight commented, "So, he can understand us."

   Applejack said, "Ask him where he's from, Fluttershy."  

   "Ah...okay."

   Fluttershy turned her head back to me with her face open and her hooves gesturing at me. "Um, excuse me, If you don't mind me asking that is, where you are from?"

   I opened my mouth and tried to talk, but I could not find my voice.

   Oh man, I must've hurt my throat when I screamed. This is getting worse by the minute.

   I just shook my head at her.

   Fluttershy looked back at the others shaking her head in disappointment.

   Then a thought hit me. If I was in a fire, then I could have been inside one of those coma dream worlds, hospitalized or something.

   If I'm in a coma, then my unconscious must be challenging me to a battle of wits, via this distraction. Well, how does one outsmart himself? Do something that I would never, ever, do?

   I looked to the rather small front door and smiled.

   I would never just run out of that door, like an idiot, for no real reason. Yep, never.

   I jumped off the table and bolted to the door. The others gasped at my sudden and erratic movement. Even with the small frame, I made it out the door while running like the wind blew, then I jumped into a bush to hide.

   The six ponies burst out the door looking in all directions, with the purple dragon running out seconds behind.

   "Well, horse feathers!"

   Applejack stomped her front hooves on the ground. "Well, ah got to hand it to that critter though. For a non pony, he sure moves fast."

   "Great, now what?" Spike shrugged.

   "Oh, where did he go?"

   Twilight frantically eyed around. "If the princess finds out about this-"

   "Nevermind that, Darling."

   Rarity interrupted. "If anypony else in ponyville sees him, why...it could be scandalous!"

   "Don't worry guys, he may be fast, but I'm willing to bet he can't dash!"

   Rainbow Dash Boasted. "I bet I'll catch him in 15 seconds flat."

   "Oh yeah, Rainbow Dash."

   Pinkie Pie began waving her hooves around, like she was trying to be spooky. "Who knows what kind of horrors Sparky will unleash on Ponyville, if we don't catch him!"

   "Yeah."

   Spike shuttered. "What if he eats somepony?"

   "That's right! He could be all like this!"

   Pinkie tip hooved over to the others, then suddenly appeared behind them, fore hooves poised like she was a predator. "Then burst out of nowhere and be all like, omnom nom nom nom!"

   Fluttershy shook her head. "Oh no, I don't think he would do any harm to anypony."

   "Wait...Sparky?" Twilight tilted her head.

   "Well yeah, since we don't have a name for him yet, I gave him one!" Pinkie grinned.

   The others just looked at her confused.

   Applejack asked, "Why Sparky?"  

   " 'Cause he's fast silly. He was there and then he wasn't."

   Pinkie waved her hooves around again, then made gust like wind noises.

   "I mean, the way he wooshed out the front door and just vanished."

   Poofing out of view, she reappeared out of nowhere suddenly.

   "And he would have to be like a spark if he vanished that quickly, like if...."

   Pinkie looked around. "If he vanished into that bush over there!"

   I almost laughed.

   Well, shit.

   I watched the gamboge pony with a blondish mane approach my bush, with a tattoo of red apples on her side. In fact, they all had a tattoo on their side, which seemed very strange.

   "Yeah, you're right Pinkie Pie. This bush would make a good hide'n place."

   Not bad other me. Well played.

   I knew I was as good as found, until Rainbow Dash intervened.

   "Applejack, we dont have time to look in all the obvious places. Besides, that's a lame hiding spot."

   She pointed at my hiding spot, then snorted in laughter. "There's no way he's in there. It's the first place we'd look."

   "Yeah, isn't that what Applejack is doing?" Spike scratched his head.

   "That's exactly my point. Only an air head would hide in there."

   Applejack just looked at her, then back to the bush unconvinced.

   "Alright guys, over here."

   Twilight grabbed a stick then drew a doodle of the town in some soft dirt. "We search the town on ground here and here in teams, while Rainbow Dash searches from the sky.

   "What about me?" Spike looked excited.

   "You need to stay here."

   "Aww man." Spike pouted.

   Twilight frowned. "Sorry, Spike, but I need you here. Besides, you still have to finish the room, remember?"

   Spike nodded. "Yeah, yeah, I got it."

   "Alright girls, remember, we have to find...uh, Speedy was it?"

   Pinkie Pie giggled. "No silly, it's Sparky!"

   "Right, we have to find Sparky first, no pony else."

   Rainbow Dash whispered to the others. They all huddled together, whispering to each other. I wondered what my other self was planning.

   Rainbow dash shouted suddenly, "His name could be Bob for all we care!"

   Trotting away, she took to the air and hovered. "What his name is doesn't matter right now, finding him matters, right? Look, you girls stay here, since we all know I will find him first, then I will bring him back here."

  Applejack rolled her eyes.

   "Even if ya find him how the hay are ya gonna bring him back here all on your lonesome? It's gonna take all of us to corral that critter."

    She smirked. "And ah wouldn't be too sure of yourself yet, Dash."

   Rainbow Dash snorted.

   "Alright whatever, let's go! He could be halfway to Cloudsdale by now!" She took off.

   "Yeah! Let's find Sparky!" Pinkie hopped into town yelling sparky out loud.

   "Right girls, let's go!" Twilight trotted off.

   They all scattered while following Twilight's plan.

   Spike waved.

   "Good luck!" He walked back into the tree house, a tree that was literally a house.

   I was inside that? Huh, interesting.

  I questioned if my unconscious was playing another trick on me. I took a deep breath in while thinking for a moment.

   Would you spend more time looking than talking, or talking than looking?

   I laughed inwardly. "Well, regardless, seems like you did not anticipate the blue Pegasus siding with me, did you?"

    No good was coming from hiding there, so I got up and looked around, finally able to get my bearings.

   The town looked cheery and was pretty clean. A white tree house lied just down the street next to a road sign. I walked up to it. The wooden sign was covered with hieroglyph like symbols.

   Giving up on that, I saw a large road lead to the town center at my left. I progressed that way careful not to be seen.

   Sight seeing was out of the question. I needed to find a place to think the next stage of my plan.

    If I don't know where I am, then my other self must not know either. So, traversing this town is kind of like hiding in plane sight.

   I smiled.

   And since the blue Pegasus has sided with me, she should be leading his pastel lackeys away from me, further aiding in my plans.

   A large ocean of green flowed with the wind in the distance. An idea hit me.

   "A forest, lots of cover there, but he might expect that...."

   I figured it the best place to get my bearings, since my other self was obviously being very assuming. I went for the tree line.

   I did my best to expose myself as little as humanly possible by briefly taking side streets then creeping along alleyways, watching for any unusual movement. Taking one alleyway, Two ponies walked by. I quickly hid behind a dumpster.

   "What's up, Octavia?"

   "That's strange. I thought I saw something."

   Damn.

   I gritted my teeth, staring at two silhouettes cast from the sun's light unto the brick wall in front of me.

   "Down there? I don't see anypony."

   "Never mind it, Vinyl, shadows of the mind perhaps."

   "If you say so, let's go then."

   Waiting for them to move on, I exhaled deeply when the silhouettes left.

   Close shave.

   I resumed movement.

   Soon I reached a large clearing leading to the large tree line. Sprinting out in the open was my only option. After looking both ways and up to the sky, it seemed clear. Taking a breath, I stretched my legs, then bolted for the trees.

   I jumped head first into the thicket and bathed in the shadows. My eyes scanned the area and smiled.

   Sloppy, other me, very sloppy.

   I froze for minute. It was all too easy.

   Wait, what if I'm walking right into his hands.

   I hit a tree with the bottom of my fist, frustrated.

   The thought of my other self watching my attempts at sneaking and finding it hysterical made me uncomfortable.

   Damn him.

   I deduced my other had put me in a Zugzwang. No move was good. Even Philidor himself would be sweating.

   It's not over yet. I'll just fire sale. I simply wont hide at all and let him find me, thereby ending this game so we can play a new one.

   I decided to find a lake and wait for my other's thralls to find me. The talking pastel ponies or horses, whatever they where, would find me there. I made my way through the tree line and spotted a large body of water near a meadow.

   "There's a lake and it's a nice sized one to."

   I rubbed my hands together in excitement. "I finally get to meet my shadow, the other side of the board."

   Out of the tree line I went, then sat near the shore line of the lake.

   I rested my elbow on my knee and supported my chin on my fist. While waiting for his colourful minions to find me, I tried one more time at figuring all of it out, how it even happened in the first place.

   "Hmm, let's see. That monster of a girl showed up, then charged me...I can't remember anything after that, not really anyway. It started with her, that much is certain."

   I should be died, not be trapped inside Alice in Ponyland.

   I looked up at the breathe taking sky.

   Maybe I did die in that fire and this is hell, forever trapped in a mind war with myself, maybe.

   "Well, Mark Twain was right, hell for the company."

   Breathing in a chest full of fresh air, I took in all the gorgeous wonders around me. "And the climate's great too."

   The game was distracting me from all the beautiful scenery.

   The air was sweet and clean. The lake was clear as glass and it's surface were smooth, yet, the slightest tug of the wind sent the water's surface waking and pulling, then ebbing and flowing back.

   The birds churped in a musical melody, like canaries. And the Sun there for reasons unknown made me feel great.

   Perhaps, I'm on a drug drip? If so, I'm getting a prescription if I ever wake up.

   I laid down on my back with my eyes shut, while running my hands through the warm grass.

   The Sun's warm light healed and energized. It was unlike the Sun I was used to that only burned your skin and weighed you down. It brought on happiness, calm and no tension, feelings so intense I hardly thought them physically possible.

   It was wonderful, so decadently superb and so absolutly preposterous.

   "I never knew the Human mind could realistically create such a paradise."  

   But paradise comes with a catch, always. Sadly, this one is a figment of my mind.

   I laid there, running my hand faster over the grass.

   I felt a sudden pain cut my left hand. I recoiled and looked at the wound. A small cut bled on my open palm. I touched it and rubbed the red liquid between my thumb and index finger.

   "Real blood and pain, in a dream? Impossible, but...then."

   My eyes widened when I realized the shocking truth. I held my head, as it tried desperately to find another explanation. "T-that means...."

   "Hey there he is!"

   I turned and saw something dart down at me. The blue Pegasus landed just a few feet to my left.

   The other ponies soon followed behind her.

   "Ha! Told you guys I'd find him first." Rainbow Dash puffed her chest out triumphantly.

   Real...it's all real...incredible.

   "We found you, Sparky!"  

   Pinkie Pie giggled while bouncing around the place. "That was fun!"

   Inconceivable!

   Fluttershy said sincerely, "Ooh, I hope we aren't disturbing him."

   Rarity inhaled the air. "Ah, what an absolutely gorgeous day! Look girls, the area he picked, simply gorgeous for a picnic some day. Did I not say high class, or did I?"

   "Yeah, ya did Rarity, three times."

   Applejack rolled her eyes, then pointed at me. "Alright, Sparky, it's time ya come on back to Twi's library with us. Can't have the pony folk see'n you an' all."

   They named me after a dog? How demeaning and ironic.

   I took in a large breath, then got up. Trying to push away the still present pain in my throat, I waved my hand with a nervous smile. "Hi, name's Argyle Orion."

   Pinkie Pie gasped. "Sparky just spoke!"

  Applejack retorted very friendly. "Well it's about time ya told us your name, a big Ponyville howdy-do to ya."

   Twilight waved to me. "Welcome to Equestria."

   The lump in my throat did not want to give. I tried to shrug off my nervousness. "So, what now?"

   The ponies looked at me and then at one another.

   Rarity started looking around nervously. "Well, Darling, you no doubt have questions, but let's talk about this somewhere more...private?"

   Applejack nodded. "If the other folks saw ya, well, there'd be no end to trouble."

   I put my hand to my mouth in thought. "I can agree, not a prime outcome."

   Twilight gestured for us to follow. "Alright then, it's settled. Back to my place!"

   Pinkie jumped in the air. "Yeah! We have a G.Y.N.D.P to plan."

   "Huh?" I raised my eye brow at her.

   Rainbow Dash, while hovering over me, put a fore hoof on my shoulder. "Don't worry, she always like that."

   Pinkie again gasped like a fish out of water. "Ohmygosh! I almost forgot the welcome wagon!"

   I looked back to Rainbow. "Uh, huh."

   Applejack rolled her eyes. "We'll have plenty of time for party'n later Pinkie."

   Pinkie looked at Applejack while bouncing backwards. "Anytime's always a good time for a G.Y.N.D.P!"

   We ran hid to avoid the other ponies and ran some more, as I followed my strange company to their destination.

   Even with the distractions my family came to mind.

   They will likely think I'm dead when they return home, since they'll find the house burned to ashes. I don't even know if it's physically possible to return home, but I got here somehow, so the math says maybe.

   I shook my head while hiding in a alleyway with the others, as other ponies walked by. There was nothing I could do about it, so I tried not worrying.

   Fluttershy gave the word it was safe to run. Twilight's tree house was about 40 yards away. We passed that same white home I saw, only that time I heard a dubstep beat pulsing from inside. I found that strange.

   Finally, we reached the tree house and Twilight opened the door, motioning for us to hurry inside.

   While inside the tree house, Twilight offered to make everyone dandelion tea. Dandelion root, red clovers, peppermint and chamomile were my favorite teas. I could hardly say no. As I thought about it, I did notice besides the peppermint they were flowers that seemed to grow in that strange land like weeds.

   While sipping greedily on what was perhaps the best cup of dandelion tea I had ever had, calm and peace of mind eased. Like I belonged there, or rather like I had been there before and was used to it. I could not shake the feeling that in my whole life I had just returned after a long trip.

  Peculiar, how can one feel like he has returned to somewhere he has never been before?

  Too many questions and not enough answers. The tea was exquisite, the company seemed well, so I decided to leave the matter at that.