What I had and What I Was

by ty500600

First published 25th of January, 2012

A pony retelling his life mess ups.

My life is somewhat normal, and I use the word 'somewhat' loosely. Anyways, I'm writing this in hopes that at least one pony might find my stupidity hilarious, at least that way I can say my life hasn't been a complete waste.

What's up?

Let me get this thing started by saying that I’m not one to beat around the bush about things. I generally try to move on with things before they become too deeply carved into my brain so that I can never forget them. I don’t like dwelling on the past, but as much as I hate it, there are some things that deserve to be dwelled on, things that require my thoughts at certain points in the day about my past.

As you could probably guess, before high school, my past was rather typical for a stallion. I was born and raised in Whinnisota, and have lived there all my life. I lived in a small, middle-class suburb of Whinniapolis. I grew up as the oldest of three colts to my parents. The middle colt, Drop, has always had a fascination with Vinyl Scratch, and I suspect that one day he might become a professional DJ just like she was. When we were younger, he and I never got along. We would always fight, and the fights generally landed me in my room or being grounded, which meant I won the fights. But recently, he and I have started seeing more eye to eye, combining our efforts to create music and write stories and such. We play video games together now and we hang out with each other’s friends, that is, whenever I’m home. I go to college now, so I don’t get to see him as much as I would like to.

On the other hoof, my youngest brother, Sizzle, is a spoiled brat. While I will always love him, I suspect I will always love him because he is my brother. He and I are nothing alike; he would rather sit inside instead of going out with his friends, and things in the like, although I will admit he is a good cook for his age. He is eleven years old now and my mom still treats him like a baby. He acts like it too, he wets the bed, he cries when he doesn’t get his way, and he sucks his hoof when he feels like pouting. I hope he will mature with age, but I don’t have high hopes for him.

My mom and dad met each other in college and got married their junior year, and three years after they graduated they had me, their little bundle of…“Joy?” I suppose the word “joy” is one way to put it. The only reason I’m still tolerated, I believe, is because I was their first born. I was a little asshole when I was child, not that that hasn’t changed much over the years. I guess I wasn’t so bad when I was the only child. I had a blonde mane and tail, and a lightly tan coat. Time to time I see a picture of me when I was young, maybe playing with the family pet dog, or driving my old battery operated four-wheeler.

I guess when I was very young, my parents had put me in a walker, and that is what I did, I walked. I walked so well that I guess I thought I was going to try to take on a flight of stairs. Needless to say, a baby colt that cannot actually walk without support from a walker lost to the stairs. I was lucky I wasn’t killed. The staircase actually curved around and went down further. My parents seemed convinced that, had I gone any further, I would have died for sure. I suppose that was when I first started to scare my parents. From there on out, I continued to put myself into risk. Jumping off the roof of the house into the pool, attempting to jump from the deck onto the trampoline while doing a flip, stuff like that. To be honest, I have never landed myself into the hospital, which must be an amazing feat considering how much stupid shit my friends and I would do as a way to past time in our young coltly lives.

Hah, that reminds me of a time where I got on my bike and tied a rope to a passing horse-carriage. It had stopped at a stop sign for a moment before continuing on with its course. In that moment I had, with encouragement from my friends, tied myself to the bumper of the thing to see how fast I could get going on my bike. It had a little speedometer, something that my worrysome parents had installed for me to try and take care of myself. Pshh! As if. Anyways, at first the rope-bike combo was working ok, until the carriage had turned off towards the highway. It was around this time that I started shitting myself. To this day, I have no idea why I never jumped off, but I digress, I was stupid. I start kicking and screaming and trying to get the pony who was pulling the cart’s attention, but to no avail. So I hunched down and held on for my life. The only reason I survived that encounter was because a Royal Guard Pegusi had seen what was going on and swept down and yanked me from the bike. You know, looking back on this event, I suppose most normal colts wouldn’t have gotten themselves into that kind of situation, but, again, I was stupid.

The Pegusi had looked at me like I was stupid, then asked me where my home was. I couldn’t even open my mouth because of how scared I was, so I just pointed me home. You should have seen the looks on my parents faces, priceless. Well at the time, I had never wanted to see them more in my life, but now, it was pretty hilarious. But yeah, that’s how my elementary through middle school life went, doing dumb shit and never really applying myself.

It was when I got to high school in my first year did I finally get my cutie mark. A video game controller had appeared on my flank. What the hell did that mean? I was going to be good at video games? I could have told you that, I spent 80% of my freshman year playing the damn things. And video game design wasn’t something that caught my attention as ‘fun’ so I pretty much ignore my cutie mark now, it doesn’t make me who I am, I make who I am…even if who I am is somepony who plays video games like it was a religion. I actually sorta’ tried in school my freshman year, and I acted out even more than what I used to, something I never thought possible, and the upper classmen knew and hated me for it. I got my ass beat every once in a while after antagonizing some rather large and burly stallions, but hey, I was invincible on the inside. That invincible feeling carried on into sophomore year, and that is where this story begins, second week of sophomore year. Oh, by the way, I’m Sticks, nice to meet you!

Dear god...

Alright, let’s skip the first day of 10th grade cause, really, who cares about that boring stuff. It’s just teachers welcoming us back and giving us syllabuses and what not. Although, we could talk about what I did the night before and what I did that morning. Let’s do that, so rewind about eight hours.

“Good night mom, I’ll see you when I get back from school!” I yell down the stairs.

“Good night Sticks! Too bad Dad had to go to Canterlot for work, and I’m sorry I can’t see you off tomorrow morning, they are calling me in for a long shift tonight,” Mom replied heartily. She was putting on her official work clothing and preparing for a long night at the bar. Being a waitress on half price nights brought in good money but it made her work through long hours of the night. Not that I minded of course.

I shut my door and laid down in bed and pretended to sleep, just in case she decided to check on me before she left. She hadn’t bothered and I heard her jump into a carriage that took her to and from work. After the squealing wheels were out of ear shot, I quickly bolted out of bed and began rummaging through my closet dresser, looking for… ‘it.’ Eventually I had found ‘it’ and I quickly called up my friends.

“So are we on for the night?” I ask excitedly into the phone.

“You know it, do you have ‘it’?” came the reply.

“You know I do! I’ll be over in five.” I hung up with a click. I picked up my sattle bags and draped them over my back, stuffing ‘it’ inside. I peeked my head out around the corner and checked to see if my brothers were asleep, ‘eeyup, they are,’ I thought to myself. I, being a ninja like I am, snuck down the stairs and into the garage. I switched the door over from automatic to manual and pried it open just enough for me and my bike to slip out and then I shut it again, making almost no noise. I jumped on my bike and headed towards my friend’s house. Once I get there, I see a sign that says ‘Bikes in the garage.’ So I wheeled my bike into the garage and parked it. I stepped inside of the house and was greeted by a barrage of “hellos” and “what’s up’s.”

“Fillies and gentle-colts, I have brought…’it’.” I looked at my bag and bit down on the strap that held it shut. It popped open and a nice, chilled thirty pack of Hoofstrong Ale revealed itself. A chorus of cheers followed as I began distributing the beer around to ponies. I dropped my bag and allowed people to go digging through it, taking as they pleased. I pulled two out before the vicious and adolescent ponies took all of them. ‘Vultures,’ I thought to myself. Over in the corner, I saw who the other beer was for. It was a mare I had fancied for some time, “Spirit.” I trotted over to her, dropping it in her lap, the other still in my mouth. “Howth it goig’?” I asked with the can still in my maw.

She looked at me and giggled, “Wha…what did you say, Sticks?” I blushed when she said my name. I dropped the can into my upraised hoof before continuing, trying really hard not to make a fool out of myself any more than I already had.

“Uh…how’s…how’s it going?” I asked sheepishly. I cracked the beer and took a swig, trying to ease the tension building in my body. It worked for a moment until she said something.

“Not too bad, how’s about yourself cutie?” She asked, batting her eye lashes. When she said that, my eyes shot open wide and I inhaled about half of the can’s contents into my lungs. I started spewing and coughing beer all over her. I tried to turn away, but I couldn’t control where it was going. I thought I was going to die, both literally and metaphorically. After my spewing became controlled, she looked like someone had just shot an animal and dropped its bloody corpse on her. Her face twisted with disgust and horror and she bolted for the bathroom, probably trying not to puke. I was assaulted with laughter, and I hung my head low.

“Way to go, dumbass,” I say to myself, taking a small chug of beer.

So that’s how the rest of that night went, I skulked in the corner, hammering beers whenever they came my way, which was, unfortunately, quite often. “Oh, tomorrow is going to suck…”

Which it did. Before heading out to school, I popped three Advil pills and then mounted my bike with less excitement than a manticore eating an already dead animal. My light brown coat was somewhat matted from the puke as was my brown mane, which had changed from blonde I might add. Basically, that day sucked so much ass

Dayum...

Fast forward to around the second week of that year. I was still kind of a wreck after the whole “Spirit” incident. She wouldn’t talk to me pretty much after that and anytime I tried to get near her, her friends would block my path. It was rather…upsetting. I was feelin’ pretty down and I had just plopped my pathetic ass into a desk in history class. A waste of a class I might add, but my parents encouraged it being that it was an Advanced Placement class. Stingy parents always trying to save a bit or two in the future. I never read the book or listened to the teacher’s lectures. I tried to sleep through it as much as I could but the teach had an annoying habit of catching me as I began to doze off. Douche.

Anyways, back me plopping my flank into that desk. I had begun my daily ritual of getting my book out and cozying up to it with my face. As much as the book sucked, it worked rather well as a pillow in clutch situations. I was just about to put my head down when I felt somepony slug me in the in the shoulder. I looked around and a mare who I had known since elementary school had just trotted past. I gave her a stare of ‘What the hell was that for?’ She smiled at me and shot me a wink. My heart fluttered for a moment, a feat that I did not think possible.

Quick story; during the summer, Spirit and I had been hanging out a lot since we lived in rather close proximity to each other and I was trying to cozy up to her. Clearly that hadn’t worked, but anyways, story. From time to time I would see the mare that had slugged me in the shoulder come by and say hi to Spirit. Her name was Sparkle. No, I don’t mean that old bat unicorn that was in the history books. Her name was Sparkle, and rightfully so because her most captivating feature was her eyes. They were a brilliant sapphire blue that literally sparkled. I had never paid her much mind, however, due to me being infatuated with Spirit. Sparkle would chill with us sometimes and I began to get to know her personally. She lived on the same street as Spirit did, just a little closer to me.

Reverting back to the tale of the slugging, it was only then did I truly see the beautiful mare for who she was. She had a brilliant, amber mane that flowed down her neck and over her shoulders. Her purple coat was shining in the light, clearly well kept, and when she had winked at me, the sparkle in those eyes literally threw me out of my seat. I pretty much sprinted over to her and started talking.

“Hey Sparkle, what was that for?”

“Oh I don’t know, cause I wanted to?” she giggled after saying that. That made my heart jump again.

“Oh…okay,” I had stammered. Wow I must have sounded like an idiot. “Well, I’ll see you around I guess.”

She giggled again before talking, “yeah, I guess you will.”

I had felt a tap on my back and I turned around to see the teacher staring at me, “Mr. Sticks, would you like to take a seat and leave Miss Sparkle alone? Surely she doesn’t want to be bothered by you.” His beady little eyes fixated themselves on me.

“Uh yeah…sure teach, no problem.”

“My name, Mr. Sticks, is Mr. Olden, and you would do well to remember that.”

“You got it teach,” I pushed him on, hoping to see one of his little rants.

“Your seat?” He asked, ending the confrontation. I nodded and sat down, a smirk on my face.

‘I win again,’ I thought to myself. My body froze as a giggle sounded behind me. ‘Dayum, she is good.’ I had made it a point to talk to her again after class, I wanted to get to know her better.

After an hour of me completely ignoring the class and occasionally shooting a glance back towards Sparkle, the bell finally sounded. I quickly gathered up my crap and tossed into my bag, not really caring what crushed what. My mind was too focused on snagging Sparkle as she left the class. I exited the door and waited and when she came through I pulled her aside.

“Hey, it’s later.”

“I suppose it is, isn’t?” She threw in a smile with it. I might add that, while the giggles made my heart jump, the smile was enough to make it stop completely.

“I…um…want to hang out after school?” I stammered out. Eeyup, its official, I’m a dumbass.

“Sure, why not? My brother and I were going to get some friends together and play kickball, if you want in?”

She had barely finished talking before I blurted out, “Yes!” Desperate are we Sticks?

“Alrighty, I’ll see you then,” she said, smiling as she walked past me. If I wasn’t leaning against that locker, I probably would have fallen over. Inside of my chest, my heart was doing back flips. I don’t think I was more excited about hanging out with a girl more in my life. I don’t know what it was about her, but something made me fell all warm and cozy on the inside, and I was determined to figure out what it was.

"Something"

I'm going to give you all a brief synopsis of what had gone down after school, since there really isn't much to tell. Basically what had happened was that we had hung out for a bit, us and some friends and such, and then we parted ways. Like I said, not much to tell, but it was still fun. I had made it a point to go after her again tomorrow and get her to hang out with me alone, or at very least with a small group of people so that I could get closer to her. I had given her my house phone number, and her I, so that way she could get a hold of me if need be, say for studying or something.

So it was around seven o'clock when I had gotten home from playing kickball and whatever, and I had just plopped my flank into my gaming chair in front of the TV and got myself settled in, when the phone rang. Begrudgingly and very annoyed, I pulled myself up and lazily strolled over to the phone and answered it nonchalantly, "Hello." It was more of a statement then a question cause, to be honest, I really didn't care about who was calling.

"Hey Sticks? It's Sparkle," replied the voice. I had been scratching my ass when she had said her name and I almost tripped on myself in the hurry to grasp the phone tighter.

"Heh...hey! What's up?" All laziness and annoyance flowed away from me, left with just excitement. I didn't actually think she would call me so soon.

"Oh, nothing much, how about yourself?"

"I was just sitting down to enjoy a game of Fallout: Equestria, how about you?"

"You already asked me what was up, Sticks." I facehoofed so hard that she had heard it on the other line, "What was that?"

"Nothing, just my ego popping, but anyways, what can I do ya' for?" My face still hurt from how hard I hit myself.

"Oh, I was just wondering what you were doing tomorrow?"

"I uh...I...dunno, something maybe?" Wow I sucked at this.

She giggled at my stupidity, my heart both tried to commit suicide and fly at the same time, "well, if you aren't doing 'something,' then we should do something." My heart was no longer trying to commit suicide, it pretty much was trying to fly through my mouth.

"Uh...uh...okay, I think that my something plans can wait until we do your something plans," I try to say smoothly. For all I know, however, I was as smooth as sandpaper.

"Aww, how sweet. Okay, lets do something tomorrow." My heart had a heart attack, riddle me that one.

Victory is mine!

The next day went fantastically school wise. I actually focused on my classes, except history of course. I spent most of history class whispering to Sparkle or thinking about what we were going to do after school. Also, I had moved two desks back into an empty one so that we could sit closer to each other and talk and stuff. I had just been day dreaming about her when Mr. Olden walked up and kicked my desk. The noise shook me out of my stupor and pretty much sent my sprawling out on the floor from the sudden sound. The whole class laughed, but I really paid it no mind. The only thing that really upset me was that my stupid teacher had removed me from a day dream about Sparkle. His annoying voice followed the chorus of laughter from the class.

"Well, Mr. Sticks, are you going to lay around all day? Or are you going to get back up into your seat in pay attention?"

I was still rather pissed about him removing me from my fantasies, so I figured I was going to challenge him, "to be honest Mr. Olden, I rather like the perspective of the floor. It gives me a whole new insight on how much history doesn't really matter." At first my voice was sarcastic, but then it dropped a little and a bit of an attitude had taken sarcasm's place. "And besides, whether I am on the floor or in my seat, it doesn't matter to me. They both offer the same amount comfort for sleeping." I threw a smirk in with that last comment, knowing that it would grind his gears. I saw one of his eyebrows twitch and his eyes grew ever more focused on behind his glasses.

"I am not looking for confrontation here, Sticks, please just take your seat." I could tell he was trying to keep his voice controlled.

"Anything for you teach," I said, my voice overflowing with sarcasm.

"Mr. Olden..." he muttered under his breath.

'What's that teach?" I pushed.

"Nothing, Sticks, nothing." He walked back up to the chalk board and resumed his writing while I was enjoying my victory with an over-satisfied smile on my face. It was then did I feel a tap on my shoulder, and I turned to see Sparkle smiling at me.

"Way to go, I never seen him riled up like that before," she whispered. My heart did a flip, her voice was as beautiful as her eyes. She then raised her hoof, indicting she wanted a high hoof. Had I not concentrated all of my focus into that high hoof, I probably would have missed and ended up punching her in the face. That would have been typical me too, to screw up like that. "To be honest Sticks, you don't seem like the kind of pony to go out of his way to mess with the teacher."

'Shit, how do I reply to that?' I thought to myself. "Well...I uh...I was in the middle of a day dream when the jerk came up and slammed my desk, so he deserved it."

"Oh? What were you day dreaming about?" He voice fluttered in my ears as my heart melted away.

'Piss...forget the last one, how do I reply to this?' I was almost in a panic about what to say when the bell rang and pretty much saved my social life. "I...uh...I will tell you later, kay?"

She giggled, forcing a blush on my face, "whatever you say Sticks, I'll see you after school, right?"

"Of course! I wouldn't miss it for anything!" I yelled down the hall at her as I was leaving. She replied with a wave and then I tripped and smashed my face into a pillar. I heard her giggle down the hall and all embarrassment flowed away from me, leaving me in a state of happiness and wonder.