Third person, streets of Canterlot:

Two changelings sat and had a smoke. They squeaked at each other as they bickered about pointless things.

“And I’m telling you that there is more too this whole operation than just getting back at Shining Armor” said the one changeling but the other changeling shook its head. “No-no, there isn’t anything else to it. This whole battle is just for revenge…” the changeling trailed off as they heard a loud diesel engine rumble.

“You hear that too?” asked the first changeling. The second changeling nodded and they both turned around to look at the brick wall where the sound was coming from. “What the fuck is that?” asked the second changeling. “Maybe it’s a” began the first changeling but he never got to finish his statement.

The M1 Abrams tank burst through the wall of the building, crushing the two changelings beneath it. The duo in the tank had been driving through buildings non-stop, mostly because it was faster but also partially due to Danko’s intoxication.

The tank swerved down the street. “Danko, at least try to keep the tank driving in a straight line” Clare called out to Danko. “Yeah-yeah… give me minute with my baby” Danko said as he continued to wail back vodka. The M1 tank jolted suddenly as it hit a light post and knocked it over. Then another light post, then another and another. Danko was driving right down the sidewalk and suddenly the side of the tank struck a building and bricks crumbled from the force of the impact. But the tank kept going.

“Jesus Danko. You’re doing more damage than the changelings” Clare called out as he felt the vibrations from multiple collisions. “Yeah-yeah… don’t worry, these tanks were made tough” he told Clare and he rolled his eyes. Danko was completely missing the point.

There was a beautiful 1957 Black Cadillac Deville parked on the side of the road. “Danko, don’t hit the car” Clare yelled but Danko was too intoxicated to care. The M1 tank simply drove over the car and crushed it beneath its mighty weight.

The Cadillac was flattened like a pancake as the tank continued on. “Danko…that was a beautiful car” Clare whined but Danko simply laughed. “Ha… stupid car, that’s what it gets for getting in my way… oh shit look out puppy dog” Danko yelled and swerved the tank into a boutique shop. The tank crashed through the shop and wrecked many high quality dresses that probably cost close to three or four thousand dollars each. Danko looked up to Clare. “Hurry, go rescue puppy before changelings come” Danko said to Clare. “You crushed a 1957 Cadillac… but you swerve into a boutique to rescue a puppy… alright” Clare said as he quickly opened the hatch and disembarked the tank.

He saw the puppy on the road, it didn’t have a collar but it looked to cute to be a stray. Clare rushed over to the puppy and picked it up. The puppy was a Siberian husky. As Clare was about to turn back to the tank he spotted a group of changelings feasting on something. He squinted his eyes to see that they were eating puppies from an adoption box. Clare’s eyes widened in rage.

Clare snarled as he raced back to the tank and lept into the tank. “Danko… honk the horn” Clare snarled and Danko looked up to him. “I don’t think tank has horn” he told his angered friend. “Well then back up” Clare ordered and Danko backed the tank up.

Clare aimed the main 120mm tank gun at the group of changelings that had killed and were feasting on the puppies. This particular puppy must’ve escaped. Clare lifted the hatch. “HEY ASSHOLES!” Clare yelled out and the changelings all stopped feasting and turned to see the tank. Clare triggered the main gun and hit a few yards in front of them, sending their bodies hurtling backwards.

Some were killed in the blast but others simply lay on the road, dazed from the explosion. Clare sealed the hatch. “Run them over” Clare ordered and Danko gave a salute as he drove the heavy tank tracks over the bodies of the changelings who simply squished like bugs under a boot. Their body fluids and innards splattered out as the tank drove over them. Clare opened the hatch to see a few were still alive. “Run them over again” Clare ordered.

Danko put the tank in reverse and drove over the bodies of the changelings several times. “Alright… let’s go, show no mercy to any changelings we see” Clare ordered and Danko put the tank into drive and began to drive down the streets at 35mph. Slow, but for a tank it is quite quick. The diesel engine revved out to its max as they drove down the streets.

Changelings shot at the tank from the balcony of a building. Clare swiveled the main canon and blasted the building. The 120mm cannon shell erupted and destroyed the top of the building, rubble cluttered to the ground along. The tank continued on and Danko cranked the tank around a corner without slowing down. The tank skidded along as it turned the corner. The M1 ran over several cars as it continued down the sidewalk. Cars were sucked under the tracks of the tank and flattened.

Changelings looked over to the tank but they were too late to try and flee. Clare fired the main gun and they were caught in the eruption of the 120mm cannon shell. The changeling bodies flew through the air as their bodies were propelled away from the blast. Rather than turn at the T intersection, Danko just drove right through the bakery. The building walls were destroyed from the brute force of the collision and the tank continued on, completely unaffected by the collision.

Danko skidded the tank back onto the road. Changelings screeched and Clare controlled the remote .50 caliber on the roof of the tank which was still operational. The machinegun targeted the changelings and fired. .50 caliber rounds slammed into their bodies and tore them into pieces. Bodies fell to the ground but the M1 continued down the street.

Down the street a group of changelings had created a roadblock. One of the changelings brought out an RPG-7 and aimed it at the tank. “We got a missile launcher” Danko said and Clare brought the tank gun towards the roadblock but the gun wouldn’t pivot fast enough.

The changeling fired the RPG and the warhead flew downrange and collided with the front armour of the tank. Neither occupant was harmed, “Alright, this thing kicks ass” Clare yelled as he fired the tank cannon again. The shell struck the road blockade and sent changelings hurtling through the air. The changelings that survived the explosion faced the wrath of the M2HB on the roof of the tank.

The machinegun chattered and blasted away those changelings that still staggered about. The tank slammed through what was left of the road block.

Elsewhere there were changelings that prepared an ambush for the duo causing havoc on them. As the tank neared the group one of the changelings rolled out a spike trap that the M1 tank simply drove over. The changeling looked at the destroyed spike trap then to one of his friends. “We really didn’t think that through very well, did we?” he asked rhetorically and his friend nodded but then the tank screeched to a halt.

The group of zebras gasped in fear as the tank gun fired and devastated the group. The changelings were blown to pieces then the tank screeched forwards again. As the tank drove down the streets at around 35mph Clare began to pet the puppy that was nuzzling its head into Clare’s stomach. “So I was thinking Danko” Clare said and his drunken Russian friend looked back to him.

“I think we should name the puppy…Slick, because he was able to escape certain death” Clare said and Danko nodded. “Slick it is… hey Slicky, who’s a good boy” Danko said as he reached back and gave the puppy and affectionate scratch. The puppy was smiling and panting happily.

Clare looked to the digital readout screen. “Danko look out!” Clare exclaimed but he was a little too late. The tank drove through a large transport trailer labeled ‘Perrier’. Glass bottles shattered and splashed the carbonated water everywhere as the powerful battle tank smashed through the trailer.

“Meh, don’t worry. The French somehow managed to fuck up their water” Danko said but then the tank jerked violently as they collided with something more solid. “What the hell was that?” Danko asked as the tank smoothed out and continued driving. Clare tried to open the hatch but it was being blocked by something. Clare slithered down to the passenger seat and opened the hatch on the front of the tank. He looked up to see the statue of Celestia riding on the top of their tank.

Clare pulled on the front of his shirt as he gulped. He ducked back into the tank as he closed the hatch. “We just hit the statue of Celestia… the big girl is riding on the top of the tank right now” Clare told his friend who was driving the tank. “Jesus we’re destroying the entire city” Clare muttered and Danko nodded. “Meh don’t worry, it was a stupid place to put a statue anyway” Danko muttered.

Clare sat back in the gunner seat. Danko drove through Joe’s Doughnut shop. The bakery was destroyed as the tank drove through it. “Jesus… you couldn’t have just driven around?” Clare asked and Danko shrugged. “He can just claim his insurance” Danko replied. “I don’t think he had tank collision insurance” Clare muttered as they drove through the back of the doughnut shop.

As they drove down the streets there was a bunch of cats hanging around in the streets. “Look out, cats!” Clare yelled but Danko simply drove over the cats. “DANKO!” Clare exclaimed and Danko gave his friend a humoured look. “What? They were ugly” Danko replied and Clare face palmed at the lack of care the Russian man had while he was drunk.

The finally arrived in front of the castle, Clare rotated the gun and fired at the castle’s front doors. They blew apart from the massive explosion. Clare reloaded the tank canon and fired again. Changelings began to swarm out of the castle like he was poking at a bee hive. Clare fired the canon several times until he was out of ammo. The entire frontal part of the royal castle had been devastated by the 120mm tank cannon. Crumbling rubble fell to the ground below.

Clare went to take control of the remote .50 M2HB on the roof but found that it was inoperative, probably damaged from when they hit the statue of Celestia. Clare cursed to himself as changelings began to shoot at the tank. Their energy blasts would scorch the hull of the tank but it was relatively harmless.

“Danko, drive us right into…” Clare trailed off as he found his Russian friend passed out from intoxication. Clare tried to rearrange himself in the tank but then there was a loud buzzing sound outside that drowned out the sound of the tank engine. It wasn’t the wings of the changelings either. Clare listened carefully and could hear automatic gunfire in the midst as well. ‘Guess someone’s playing hero’ Clare thought to himself as he lowered Slick onto Danko’s lap and turned off the tank.

Author's Notes:

Not sure why but when I was proof reading this chapter this song came to mind

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ii1tc493bZM