Chronicles of Crime: My Little…Sister
Part One, The First

"Today is a very, very special day." Mr. Petrovich insisted as he clapped his hands together, eagerly rubbing them as he grinned, facing the Peacekeeping Council of Special Investigations at a picnic brunch he'd organized. As the sun shone brightly down through the occasional scattered puffy cloud, it cast reflective rays off his domed, bald head, his mustache twitching eagerly with delight as he put one foot upon a tree stump and nodded at them all. "Today is day for family. Today is "Bring Family To Work Day". Needless to say, I am going to have wonderful time…watching all of you suffer at the hands of your annoying relatives. I am not having family, HA!"

"YOU'RE! PURE! EVIL!" Milston the lab tech exclaimed furiously, waving his paws in the air as his tail lashed the ground, the draconic experiment 561 Nightwing having to restrain his Experimental American cousin with his golden-clawed black hands. "Pure EEEEVIL!" He shouted again as a mouse-like being with large black eyes and a stupid-looking greenish hat atop his head hugged Milston's leg. Why couldn't anyone else BUT the chatterbox have come?

"It's just fine for me." Haley Long said cheerily, brushing the pink-sprayed tips of her spiky black hair out of her face as she sat with her brother, the former American Dragon, Jake Long, who was sipping some pink lemonade and wearing a big red jacket and blue jeans. Even slightly grown up, he hadn't changed his fashion sense much…his hair was still wild and slicked, just like it'd always been, and his grin was still cocky and arrogant.

"I can't believe how nice he was to have a talent competition set up. Your boss is a'ight with me." Jake admitted to Haley as the other memebrs of the PSCI mingled with the family THEY had, Shinedown apparently being the only member of the team who's family had yet to show, though he was making do with his date to the bitterly cruel "Bring Family To Work Day" brunch.

"Mr. Petrovich just wants to see which of us will botch things in the funniest way, believe me. He can have a NASTY sense of humor." Haley said, rolling her eyes, Mr. Petrovich nervously looking down at his watch over and over again.

"Almost as nasty and dark as your boyfriend?" Jake asked with a raised eyebrow, Haley spitting out the coca-cola she'd been drinking.

"Wh-what?! No! No, no, Nightwing's just a friend! Who happens to be a boy!" She said quickly, shaking her head back and forth. "And interpersonal relationships on the team would be VERY inappropriate!" She added as she vigorously shook her head some more, getting up from the spot. "I'm gonna get some chips and salsa. Like, NOW!" She said, disappearing in a cloud of smoke.

"I'd be happy to show my talent, if…if you really think it'll be good." The pink-maned, yellow-furred Fluttershy nervously asked as she rubbed the back of her neck, Shinedown's sunset-colored fur a clear contrast to her own, his eyes focused intently on hers, one shade of blue gazing at another.

"Fluttershy, it's VERY good. I mean, how many people can get MICE to squeak "Three Blinded Mice" without…I dunno, whacking them with a hammer?" Shinedown asked of her, chuckling a little as Milston gave his cousin Squeak a bit of an evil grin, an idea coming to him for the talent show.

"But you haven't really told ANYBODY about your family life. I mean, we all know about what happened at the fraternity of P.O.N.Y…" Nightwing asked as he strode over to him, his "brother" currently at the snack table with Spike the dragon, the two comparing cookie recipes in a taste test, truly a buff, manly thing.

Shinedown shuddered at the mention of the fraternity. "Don't remind me."

"Will your mother be coming?" Nightwing inquired in his smooth, dark voice.

"…no. My mom died awhile back. And my dad's busy with work. A LOT of work." He added quietly, the brony sipping his apple cider with a quiet, solemn expression on his face.
"Ever since Mom died, my father Sunray Cyrus has had his hands full with running the water well n' stuff…"

"Well?"

"Didn't I ever tell you? My dad supplies the EQUI-FINA water that goes through the pipes of Ponyville. It's all fresh from the well he maintains, which is gotten fresh from an underground lake that he keeps nice and clean." Shinedown added with a hint of pride, showing off perfectly-kept teeth. An apple a day keeps the doctor away!

"And your sister?" Fluttershy wished to know as a butterfly landed on her nose and tickled her with gentle kisses from its fragile, mesmerizing monarch wings.

Shinedown's face paled. "Well, uh, see…" He tapped his hooves together, trying to find the right words. "Er…I love my sister very much. But the thing you gotta realize 'bout her is…she's not exactly somepony that I'm really PROUD of."

"Why not?" Nightwing asked with a slight chuckle. "Is she a criminal?"

"No, nothing like THAT, but she's-"

It was then that there came the sound of an enormous carriage being driven, the rolling of large wheels and the whinnying of tough and powerful ponies roaring mightily as they coasted into Central Park. Ol' New York's biggest park and it's best and brightest detective and law enforcement agency was now being greeted by a silver and blue carriage with light fixtures on the side that threw sparks up into the air, a fizzle of rockets launching bright flares high. As Shinedown saw this, his face became paler and paler, his body beginning to quiver as Fluttershy's eyes slowly widened.

"Could it be?" She asked, mouth slowly hanging open.

"Oh no, no, NOOOOO." Shinedown groaned, slapping a hoof to his face as SHE emerged from the carriage, descending in magician's garb, shining moons and stars on a bluish hat and cloak, rather similar in shade to the afternoon sky-like fur she had. It was her. It was his sister.

"Behold, one and all! The one…the only…TRIXIE!" The pony exclaimed, as a dozen different flashing lights and explosions shot around her, a groovy dance beat playing as she strutted her stuff before everyone, one hoof held behind her head, the other on her hip as she sashayed around the carriage, the ponies pulling said carriage all providing back-up harmonizing on the dance beat.

"Oh buck me." Shinedown mumbled.

"The Grrreat and Powerful Trixie is here to bring some MAGIC into your lives! You must all be so honored!" She turned to look at Nightwing, who was looking her outfit over. "I take it you're admiring my splendid attire, Mister Tall, Dark and Draconic?"

"…it's very…uh…well, it…certainly is."

"I think it's rather amazing, don't you?" She asked cheerily.

"Amazing?"

"Outstanding?

"OUTSTANDING?"

"Incredible?"

"Oh yeah, it's definitely incredible, alright." Nightwing chuckled, rolling his eyes as he held one hand over his face, the "Great and Powerful Trixie" turning to look at Fluttershy, chuckling as she looked her over.

"I remember you, you're one of those ponies from Ponyville that was in the cro-" That is, she WAS chuckling until she saw Shinedown, and her chuckle became an enormous, cheery grin, stars practically bursting out from her eyes as she shot forward and hugged him tightly like a Ursa Major, squeezing him and nuzzling him as Trixie squealed like a little girl. "Oh, big brother, I haven't seen you in AGES, and you are looking so FABULOUS!" She crowed, stepping back and getting on her back hooves, gesturing at him so the others could all take a good look.

"Siiiis, you're embarassin' me…" Shinedown mumbled, turning visibly red in the cheeks.

"I just love your new fur color, it's so…so melodramatic and…and ROMANTIC! There's nothing more poetic and beautiful than a sunset, except, of course, a starry night sky with a beautiful MOON in it!" She laughed, swaying her cloak side to side to show it off as the others looked at each other, then at Trixie.

"Er…so…Trixie is your sister?" Fluttershy nervously inquired, one imaginary eyebrow raised as Trixie squeezed her brother again, then hopped over to her carriage, pulling out several instruments, including a guitar, a small harmonica, a tiny piano, and, of course, a microphone stand, complete with microphone.

"…yes, yes she is." Shinedown sighed as he hung his head, Haley looking the pony over as she hoisted the instruments onto her back and carried them off towards the stage that had been set up for the performance piece she intended to play later on. She'd be doing her special talent just after experiment 421, Heartwing, showed off his light energy skills to make a nice fireworks display. "And she's…er…"

"She cannot possibly be any more embarrassing to you than my own "brother" is to me." Nightwing insisted, looking over at the green-scaled Heartwing who was getting visibly angry with Spike over where peanut butter chips or CHOCOLATE chips brought out the best taste in a sugar cookie.

"…just wait until she performs." Shinedown sighed.

…

…

…

… "Thank you, thank you, Heartwing. Was most entertaining. Have never seen anyone do that with light before." Mr. Petrovich said as he clapped his hands, the rest of the crowd visibly impressed with the draconic experiment's performance as Heartwing went to go sit down with Nightwing, who nodded firmly.

"It was…satisfactory and commendable." Nightwing decided at last. "I found myself not ashamed to call you my brother."

"C'mon, Shinedown, cheer up." Fluttershy said gently as she patted Shinedown's back, the pony drooping visibly in his chair, a sour expression on his muzzle. "How bad can Trixie's performance be?" She wanted to know.

"It's not about her being BAD. You don't get my sister…but you're all about to. Just watch." Shinedown insisted, gesturing limply at the curtain as it began to rise and Trixie's music began to play, the blue-furred pony standing dramatically on the stage, her silvery hair flowing behind her, fans set up on one end of the stage as she posed proudly, shaking her hips, one arm held out.

"All the single ponies! All the single ponies!
All the single ponies! All the single ponies!

With that, she twirled around, her body glowing like she was a moon in the night sky, striking another pose as she broadly grinned, wearing nothing but silver eyeshadow and a flowing cloak to match, shining sparkles surrounding her body. She moved like a Goddess in the middle of a tribal dance, entrancing all eyes to be upon her, Shinedown sighing as he shook his head back and forth.

Got Smackers on my lips, a stallion by my hips
Hold me tighter than a diamond ring!
Stop acting up, just lemme drink my cup
Trixie don't care what you think!

"You see the problem I have with her?" Shinedown asked as one by one everyone left the park, Trixie putting her instruments and stage props back into her carriage as Haley gave him a reassuring pat on the back.

"No, not really." Nightwing admitted as Fluttershy fed some of her brownie to Spike, who happily munched away on it, Heartwing begrudgingly slipping him twenty bucks as he walked by. Clearly it was chocolate chips that brought out the finest flavor.

"Trixie…is too smart…and too talented to sing bad pop music…but she's too SHALLOW NOT to!" The sunset-colored brony exclaimed, waving his arms in the air. "She's always like this! She wastes the talents she really has on doing this vacuous, annoyingly showoffy stuff instead of really focusing her talents where they oughta lie!"

"I'll have you know, big brother dear, that I am going to knock 'em DEAD at the Community Theater tonight." Trixie said as her carriage drove by, the proud pony sticking her head out and cheekily sticking her tongue out at them all. "Why, Simon Cow'll be appearing to give a review!"

Shinedown's eyes bugged out as Fluttershy gasped in surprise. "SIMON COW?!"

"Simon who?" Haley asked as Trixie proudly grinned, eagerly nodding in affirming agreement.

"Only THE premiere film and theatre critic!" Fluttershy whispered. "Rarity's told us so much about him. If he gives you his seal of approval, you're set for life in the limelight!" She scratched her head. "What IS a limelight, anyhow?"

"I used to know that." Shinedown mumbled. "It's funny, though. I didn't know he did community theatre reviews."

"Well, he's also in town to visit his girlfriend, Maddy T. Mare. Evidently he's gonna propose!...but he PROMISED me when I was passing out flyers at the The Globe Operatic Theater that he'd be there to see me sing my solo." Trixie admitted. "Ohhh, it's all so romantic! I hope he thinks of my beaaautiful voice when he gets on his knee to propose to Ms. Mare…" Trixie sighed wistfully as her carriage was drawn away, Shinedown nervously rubbing the back of his neck.

"…I really OUGHT to go…" He mumbled. "…I mean, it's community theatre…doesn't cost much…and she IS my sister but…still…"

"Would she do it for you? I'm sure she would." Haley asked.

"Well, I'm no good with INSTRUMENTS except acoustic guitar." Shinedown admitted. "But I can sing. I can sing real well. There was a time when I thought maybe my family and I…" He trailed off. "…you know what? I'm gonna go. Fluttershy, everyone, I know I can't expect you to say "yes" if I-"

"We'd love to come." Haley insisted with a firm nod. "I, personally, wanna see the comedy sketches they put on. They're HILARIOUS, trust me."

…

…

…

… "This is the first performance I have been to that did not involve a pole, several dozen single dollar bills, and me going backstage for a snack." Nightwing thought to himself as he sat down next to Haley, Fluttershy sitting with Shinedown as she tenderly rubbed his shoulder to calm the nervous young brony down, the curtains beginning to draw wide as he looked up to the far right.

"There. See him?" He asked them all as they turned to look up at a fine, powerful-looking steer with piercing black eyes and a fairly stubby set of horns who was wearing a large overcoat and gold chain watch that he was absentmindedly looking at. "That's Simon Cow. Oh boy, he looks bored…bored already. Not a good sign."

"I thought you'd want to see your sister taken down a peg." Nightwing asked, chuckling in amusement.

"Not by somebody who'll get published in every single newspaper in the city. I don't wanna read the morning edition at a stroke after midnight only to find he thinks William Hung could sing better than she could." Shinedown admitted shyly.

"Let's just wait and see." Haley insisted as she noticed an attendant from the bathroom approaching her. "Oh, yes?"

"You left this purse behind, ma'am." He said.

"I have a wallet."

"…in that case I think I'd better hurry back or I am going to lose my JOB." The nervous man gulped as he quickly ducked out of the seating area, people quieting down as the production began with a nice little comedy segment.

"I! CATCH! YOUR! POKÉMONS!" Adolf Hitler crowed dramatically, waving a fake Pokéball in the air in front of Kim-Jong-Il and his Pikachu dolls in an interesting "What If" sketch revolving around every single dictator in world history faking their death and hiding in Bermuda.

"Heh-heh-heh. It's funny cuz it's more true than you all think." Nightwing mused to himself, all the lights totally off. Only the stage was truly lit up, though Shinedown could only worry about that bum steer, Simon. He kept looking at his annoyingly glowing wristwatch.

"Oh, he's bored. Well my sister's up next. He'd better not find HER boring." Shinedown insisted quietly to himself as the stage was cleared for Trixie to make her appearance.

And did she ever. Before their eyes was a brand new kind of Trixie, dressed in a simple white robe, strumming an acoustic guitar, slowly bobbing her head, a vaguely country tune being plucked out, her normally proud and boasting voice now subdued, alluring…gentle, even. What was before them was someone totally different than they'd seen slinking about at the park. Before them wasn't some grown-up hussy in the slightest. She felt more like a little filly playing for her high school in a talent show, vulnerable, quiet…

Real. They realized then. This felt more "real" than any other performance they'd seen so far. The lilting voice that made it's way into their ears from the tenderly-lit stage had a quality that was vaguely divine, and it was clear that Shinedown was not the only one in the family who had clear musical talent.

Let me see you, Mother Mary,
Let me feel your arms around me
As I sit beneath the elm, the sun above me
Casting rays upon the grass...

I adore thee, Mother Mary,
Change me back into that pretty little girl
Let me feel the Autumn Wind upon my face
As I walk to another class...

A million moments of eternity from here until the Spring
I will graduate with honors, Mother Mary,
As you smile upon me,
Looking through the glass...

Her eyes opened then, squarely on Shinedown as a look of awe passed over the brony's face, a look that had never, ever been directed at his sister.

Let me stay holy...Mother Mary...
Let chastity wrap 'round me,
Let the fleur-de-lis intice me
Back to you, back to you,
Please take my hand...

Please take my hand...

"Perhaps we misjudged her." Nightwing admitted as he looked over at the others, Fluttershy's eyes widening.

"She's got such a lovely voice." She admitted. "It really is too bad she doesn't do more things like this." Fluttershy sighed, shaking her head back and forth.

Soon the production came to an end, and everyone was making their way out of the theatre, all eagerly chatting to each other about the performance…especially Trixie's. It was, in a way, no surprise she'd gotten the most people talking about her, but the reason WHY was astonishing.

"I've never heard Trixie sound so…non-Trixie." Fluttershy admitted.

"She was…beautiful." Spike added with a thoughtful air. "Not as beautiful as my Rarity, but still…"

"She was very…poised." Heartwing added as he passed by them, hooking Nightwing's arm. "C'mon, brother bear, let's go out bowling!"

"AH! WAIT! NO! AAAAAA!!!"

"Did I just hear right?"

Our merry band of do-gooders turned their heads to see Sheriff Applejack trotting up to them, looking surprised at the words she'd heard uttered from their lips. "Trixie? As in TRIXIE-Trixie?! Y'all praisin' her like she's some prize pig at the county fair?"

"I've never seen her like that before." Shinedown admitted quietly. "My sister's usually so much of a bragging little-"

"She's yer SISTER?!" Sheriff Applejack gasped, eyes bugging out, hooves flying to her mouth. "Laaaand's sakes, if that don't beat all! But, unfortunately, this ain't no social call." She mumbled, seeing Simon Cow cheerily emerge from the theatre. "…Mr. Cow?"

Simon tilted his head up from the gold chain watch he had and blinked in surprise. "Yes?" He asked in a vaguely Londonesque accent.

"I've got same bad news sir. There's been a murder just down the street at the hotel. A pony got thrown off her balcony in her private suite. It was…" She hesitated briefly. "It was yer girl, mister. Ms. Mare."

Cow blinked stupidly for a few moments. "…you're JOKING."

"I don't joke 'bout murder, sir. Now if you could step this way, need ya to help identify the body, her parents can't fly in 'til tomorrow…" Sheriff Applejack insisted, Trixie emerging from the theatre as Shinedown quickly GLOMPED her on the spot.

"I-am-so-PROUD of you, Beatrix! You slayed 'em! You knocked 'em dead, you were AMAZING!"

"Your name's "Beatrix"?" Haley asked, raising an eyebrow as Trixie blushed and looked down and to the side.

"Trixie is my nickname…Beatrix is too…old and stuffy." She insisted. "Now if you'll excuse me…" She brushed herself off, heading for the newsstand. "I'm not going to rest until I see Mr. Cow's review of my performance in the papers! I'll wait all night if I have to."

As Haley left to go get some sleep, Shinedown's brow furrowed. "Fluttershy…I think I'd like to get a look at that crime scene. See the whole story. Something about this is setting off those little bells in my head…"

…

…

…

… "Two champagne glasses…ordered room service around 8:15…" Applejack sniffed the air along with Shinedown and Fluttershy. Ms. Mare's private suite was empty, save for a plate of chocolate bananas, one of which had a bite taken out of it, a fine white carpeting job beneath their hooves…

But most noticeable of all was the scent. "Men's cologne. Oooh, and it's nice, too." Fluttershy admitted. "You're not wearing it, are you?" She asked Shinedown.

"Nah, don't use the stuff. But I'm thinking that Ms. Mare was expecting company. Look, the shower…" He pointed into the bathroom. "There's still condensation from a big, hot shower and there's water drops all over the room…her hair was still wet…" He headed inside, looking around. "Look. The make-up kit, it's just opened, and she's only got one false eyelash on." He added as he held up the eyelash piece from the make-up kit up. Sure enough, one was missing. ONLY one, and a little post-it on the door that said "Call S as soon as possible".

"So this company she was expectin'…reckon he showed up early…and cut her life short." Sheriff Applejack admitted, tilting her head to the side. "Let's check the balcony."

"About that…" Fluttershy called out from the balcony, looking down at the ground before turning to the side at the plants stationed on each side. "Look. There's a bunch of leaves torn and a limb ripped off…I think she was pushed, fell off, tried to grab this to save herself…ohhh, poor thing." Fluttershy whispered, covering her face with her hooves as Shinedown and Applejack walked onto the balcony as well.

"Look." Sheriff Applejack said, noticing something by the plant's base, picking it up. "A ribbon. Really girly ribbon…" She gazed down at the pinkish ribbon, amazed at how small it was, but noticing a name etched into it. "Kay's."

"Every kiss begins with Kay!"Fluttershy sang out, giggling a bit as Shinedown and Applejack looked at her. "They're jewelers. They sell diamonds."

"…wait. Diamonds…what if…" Shinedown looked down at the footprint mark below them…a very unusual type of mark because it was more of a deep indentation in the balcony than anything, as if…

"He was squatting." Applejack realized.

"Looks like our killer was getting on one knee, trying to propose…and he was a HEAVY type too." Shinedown added with a thoughtful nod. "He was proposing. The champagne, the hotel suite, the ring box, it all fits! She must have turned him down, he snapped and killed her!"

Then there came a loud, angry, shrieking yell and Applejack's head shot up, Shinedown turning visibly pale as Fluttershy held a hoof over her mouth. "Oh my. What is it?"

"Do y'all hear that? That's the sound of ultimate pain and suffering. I first made it when Granny insisted I get my degree in law." Applejack sighed.

"My SISTER'S making it now!" Shinedown gasped out, rushing for the door. "Oh no. Oh no, she must have seen the morning edition…and it must be very unflattering…"

"HOW-COULD-THEY-DO-THIS-TO-MEEEE?!" Trixie bawled out, jets of water barreling out of her eyes, pooling around her as if she was a sprinkler. The newsie she'd bought the paper from had put out an umbrella over his papers as passersby all stopped and stared, Spike nervously reading the review over as Shinedown raced towards him. "Why?!? WHYYYYYYYYY?!?"

"Lemme see it, Spike." Shinedown demanded.

"Ya really don't wanna see it." Spike said quickly. "He's a critic, who cares what he thinks? He's probably a frustrated actor anyway!"

"Gimme."

"Er…uh…" Spike began backing away as Shinedown advanced, dark blue eyes a-glitter. "You don't want it."

"I DO want it, Spike."

"No ya don't!"

"I DO."

"Ya DON'T!"

"I DO!"

"Ya DON'T!"

"I DON'T."

"Ya do!"

"I don't!"

"Ya DO!"

"I DON'T!"

"Yes you DO, now HERE!" Spike finally snapped, slamming the paper into Shinedown's hooves as Fluttershy and Applejack approached the sunset-furred brony from behind. "Wait-AWWW!" Spike slapped his face with his hands, groaning as Shinedown smirked. "You tricked me!"

"The Bugs Bunny Defense. Works every time." Shinedown chuckled as he looked over the review. "Last night's premiere was first rate material, albeit with second-rate arrangements…" He hesitated, going down to the part that talked about his sister. "Beatrix Mane's rendition of the Mother Mary ballad by the White Rabbit was completely…"

His voice sank. "…forgettable." He muttered, his voice becoming quiet and repressed. "…a corny, cliché-filled performance that had me begging for less, and…and Ms. Mane owes me three and a half minutes of…of my life back…"

He held the review in his hands for a long time.

"…now, Shinedown, just relax…don't freak out…" Spike insisted gently, a visible twitch popping into Shinedown's eye as a vein poked up on his forehead. "C'mon, you don't wanna freak out."

"I want him…to apologize."

"…apologize?"

"…apologize."

…

…

…

…"Alright, I apologize."

"You DO?"

"I apologize unreservedly!"

"This is April O'Neil Reporting. Simon Cow is being hung from a third-story window of an abandoned factory by a furious brony."

…

…

…

… "I do not BELIEVE you." Haley growled angrily as Shinedown sat on a bench in a cell, absentmindedly humming away on a harmonica. "This would have been so much less an scandal if you hadn't kept pushing all those ladders away from the window!"

Shinedown nonchalantly blew a single, mocking note on the harmonica before putting it down next to his hind on the bench. "Yeah, well, I am NOT sorry, boss. If it weren't for the fact he didn't KILL nobody, I woulda pulled a Rosco on him and made 'em deader than a fried oyster."

"Fireman Lucky fractured his tibia!"

"Ohhhh what I woulda given to fracture SIMON'S tibia." Shinedown hissed as Mr. Cow was escorted into the jail's "A" wing, Nightwing chuckling to himself as Fluttershy walked alongside the critic.

"Luckily for you, Mr. Cow has graciously…" Nightwing began to laugh more loudly. "Graciously…I can't BELIEVE you launched that ladder onto that old woman! HA-HA-HA-HA!"

"Poor thing'll probably never walk again. You're lucky he's so hated that nobody was sympathetic."

Mr. Cow stuttered slightly, looking offended as he put away his gold chain and watch, "harrumphing" angrily as he snorted. "Well, I-I-of-of all the, I mean that is JUST!"

"We're reeaaaaally sorry, Mr. Cow. Shinedown won't ever do it again." Fluttershy insisted as she eagerly nodded her head, Shinedown glaring balefully at the cow.

"Yeah. I won't ever hang you out a window ever again." He said.

"I MEANT do bodily harm to him." Fluttershy added as she shook her head.

"I can't promise that." Shinedown hissed, pressing his face up against the bars of the cell and baring his teeth, suddenly noticing a familiar scent. No, no, it couldn't be…

Could it?

"Anyhow, I've got a column to finish and get to. Truth be told, I was ending it with Ms. Mare anyhow, my boss's daughter is younger, prettier, and less clingy." Mr. Cow said calmly. "And she didn't do the laugh thing."

"What laugh thing?"

"…what did you have for breakfast?" Mr. Cow sighed.

"What?"

"What? Did You HAVE? For BREAKFAST?"

"…well, a muffin-"

"Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!" Mr. Cow giggled in an overly high woman's voice. "Ha-ha-ha-ha-that was Maddy."

"…oh." Shinedown mumbled as the critic left the jail cell, dumping a cigarette lighter and unopened pack of cigarettes in the garbage nearby. Frowning a bit, Shinedown coughed slightly before hacking up a wallet, everyone giving him a disgusted look, Fluttershy actually turning green in the face. "What?" He asked, raising an invisible eyebrow.

"Do you seriously keep EVERYTHING in your stomach?" Haley found herself asking

"Well, yeah, except for the pocket watch I keep in my ass that'll one day give me dysentery." Shinedown wisecracked, Haley chuckling at the reference. "Now look…HERE." He said, handing out a 300 dollar check to Haley through the bars. "If I do this, I'll get busted, so I want you to investigate Mr. Cow FOR me. I smelled the exact same type of cologne that we smelled back at the crime scene on HIM when he entered the room!"

"No, no, that's no good." Haley insisted.

"I WANT you to take my case!" Shinedown insisted.

"Look, we didn't wanna tell you this, but because you're on probation now for what you just did, Mr. Petrovich said he's kinda…rescinding your last paycheck. So if we tried to cash that, it would bounce." Haley told him with a sad sigh.

"He what."

"He wrote you a bad check?" Fluttershy asked, eyes widening slightly.

"He WHAT?! How could he do that?"

"We might ask you the same question." Nightwing told him with a chuckle.

"No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. I am not the monster here!"

"You dangled a bovine from a three-story apartment building window and over a kosher dog stand. That's like, adding insult to injury." Haley admitted.

"Look, there's no right and wrong here. It's all tangled up." Fluttershy insisted gently. "I mean, one hanging of a cow out a window, one bad review…it's like the chicken and the egg."

"No, no it's NOT, kid, there... there's no egg here!" Haley insisted. "There's no egg. This is all chicken!"

"I am dead CERTAIN that Mr. Cow is hiding something and if you won't help me find the truth, I'll get it myself!" Shinedown growled, yanking on the bars to his cell. "Look, that note on the shower, "S". He's got the same cologne as what Fluttershy and the Sheriff and I smelled, and he has motive! He said he was dating the boss's daughter, wasn't he? He couldn't let one of them find out about the other!"

"…it's possible. But it's also possible you're just being obsessive because he gave your sister a bad review." Haley told him, Shinedown "harrumphing" and kicking his bench, folding his arms across his chest and standing upright, back facing her. "Shinedown, c'mon."

"…"

"Look, Don't you see what this is, Shinedown? You never got along with your sister for years, you always felt ashamed ABOUT it, and now that you see an instance where she's really hurting, you're trying to make up for all the times you weren't there! You're so desperate to repair your relationship you'd frame a man for MURDER!"

"Oh, c'mon." Fluttershy insisted. "He's not gonna do that. You wouldn't do that, would you?" She asked as the sunset-bodied brony remained quiet. "Would you?"

"…"

"…would you?"