The two had been walking for what seemed like forever in the mid hours of the day. Every step taken lead to nothing but more and more trees and bushes in what was starting to look like an unending forest. Rarity had finally given up trying to strike a conversation with her dragon escort. Just as well, Spike wasn’t in the best of moods and who could blame him?

            Every now and again, he would be caught fiddling with the slave collar around his neck. He lightly pulled on it and tried to adjusted it, doing his best to loosen it or pull it off. But it was a futile effort. Nothing could break or remove the slave collar from around his neck except for the unicorn traveling by his side.

            “This is such bull crap,” the dragon muttered to himself.

            “Did you say something, Spike?” asked Rarity.

            “I said this is bull crap!” he repeated as he started to tug on his metal collar. “I think this thing is getting smaller, it’s pressing up against my neck more than it did a few hours ago.”

            “That’s highly unlikely,” said the mare. “You’re just stressing out.”

            “Gee, I wonder why that is?”

            “Look I said I was sorry! I don’t know what more I can do.”

            “You can take this collar off,” said Spike. “And then, if you’re still feeling generous, let a hydra sit on you!”

ZZZZT!

            “Ow!” shrieked the drake, jumping from the sudden shock he received from the collar. “What was that for?!”

            “Look here mister!” growled Rarity, pinning the dragon to a tree. She was surprisingly strong for such a frail looking thing. “I don’t like this anymore than you do! But you don’t hear me complaining about it.”

            “What the hell do you have to complain about?” sneered the purple dragon. “You’re not the one with the collar around their neck!”

            “Do you think I enjoy this?” she asked. “I don’t enjoy doing this to you, but I will not tolerate your tone towards me!”

            “Bite me.”

BZZZZZZT!

            “Ouch! God! Okay, I’ll tone it down a bit, you psychotic pony.”

            “Thank you darling,” beamed Rarity as she released the large dragon from her grasp and started walking down the path. “Now let’s get going, it’s a long journey to Vanhoover.”

            “I’m going to kill her, I just know it,” Spike whispered to himself. “I’m going to rip her head off, and then I’m going to die.”

            “Spike, hurry up please!” Rarity called from up ahead.

            “Yes master…“

            “Spike, you don’t have to call me that,” the white mare smiled. “Just Rarity will do.”

            “But I am just your humble servant master, I live only to serve your iron will,” Spike said sarcastically.

            “You’re making me sound like a slave driver.”

            “Well you do have a slave…” mumbled the dragon.

            “Do you want to get shocked again?

            “Not really.”

            “Then please, if you insist on calling me something, at least address me as Miss Rarity, Madam Rarity or Mistress Rarity. Or you could always just address me as ‘Rarity’.”

            “Mistress sounds dirty,” said Spike. “Like we’re about to go do it or something gross like that.”

            “Trust me, the feeling’s mutual,” deadpanned the unicorn. “Me in love with a dragon… especially a dragon like you.”

            “Hey, you’d be lucky to have a sexy stud like me!” laughed Spike. “It’s you who doesn’t deserve me Miss Prissy Pants.”

ZZZZTTT!

            “Goddess dammit! Stop doing that!”

            “Then stop being an ass!” Rarity shouted.

            “Now who's using language?” smirked Spike. “Isn’t that most unladylike of you?”

ZZZZZTT!

            “Ack! You’re just doing that for fun now!”

            “Do you want me to shock you again?”

            “Of course not!”

            “Then, just be quiet, please,” Rarity said. “Honestly, if I knew you were so crude, I would have never attempted to engage a conversation.”

            “Took you long enough, Princess,” said Spike, as the two of them resumed their quiet walk in the forest.

It lasted all of five seconds before the pony started talking again.

            “Spike, I’m hungry.”

            “Good for you,” replied Spike.

            “Can you get me something to eat please?”

            “Oh yeah, I keep some pony kibble right behind that tree,” he said satirically.

            “Aren’t you getting peckish?” asked Rarity.

            “I could eat, but I’d rather keep moving,” said the dragon.

            “But I haven’t eaten in days…”

            “Neither have I, but tough it out,” groaned Spike. “We keep moving.”

            “Isn’t there a village around here?” the white mare asked. “Or a city? A town? A hamlet?”

            “There’s a small town called Hallows about an hour’s walk from here.”

            “Great! Let’s go!” Rarity pepped up.

            “Out of the question,” said Spike. “We’re not going there.”

            “Why not?” whined the mare. “I’m positively starving!”

            “I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but I’m not exactly welcomed in most pony communities. No dragons are.”

            “Really? Why not?”

            “Because they think we’re dangerous or something crazy like that.”

            “Well, if it’s so bad here, why don’t the dragons live in the Celestial Society?”

            “Golly jeepers! Jeez Rarity, I never thought of that!” the dragon said with fake enthusiasm. “You’re from the Celestial Society, you tell me.”

            “Something against Celestia?” guessed Rarity.

            “Because while the Lunar Republic will enslave us, the Celestials will just upright kill us, which is why I’m less than thrilled to be going on this little adventure with you as there is a good chance I’ll take an arrow to the neck when I cross the border.”

            “What!?” gasped the baffled Rarity. “That’s awful! I never knew that. Celestia always said the dragons were in an alliance with her sister.”

            “Then your princess got some bad intel or she’s just lying to you. Personally, I’ll assume the latter before the former.”

            “That can’t be… Celestia has no reason to lie, especially to me.”

            “Why?” asked Spike. “What makes you so special?”

            “Nothing!” she quickly said. “I’m still hungry regardless.”

            “And I’m still not going regardless.”

            “Spike, we’re going to that village to get something to eat.”

            “No, we’re not!” hollered the dragon. “We’re going to keep heading west, bypass any towns we find, and be in Vanhoover within a week.”

            “I want to go there now!” complained the white unicorn.

            “Quit your whining,” droned Spike. “The decision is final.”

            “Oh trust me Spike,” Rarity growled. “You don’t want to hear whining.”

            “It can’t be worse than anything else that’s come out of your mouth,” he grumbled.

            He would soon regret those words as the mare took a deep breath and unleashed verbal hell. “WAAAH, I’M TIRED! MY THROAT IS SORE! I’M SOOOO HUNGRY! AND I’M GOING TO DIE!” whined Rarity, crying and flailing in a childish tantrum of tears and squeals. “I WANT TO GO HOME! WHY ARE YOU SO MEAN TO ME?! MY STOMACH HURTS! I DON’T WANT TO WALK ANYMORE!”

            “Sweet mother of Luna!” screamed Spike, covering his ears to block out Rarity’s infernal whining. “Please, for the love of the goddess, shut the hell up!”

            “THEN FEED ME!”

            “OKAY!” roared the dragon, shutting the pony up. “I’ll take you to Hallows, you can grab something to eat quickly and then we leave. I’ll keep watch from the edge of the forest.”

            “You’re not coming with me?” asked Rarity.

            “I can’t,” said Spike. “I enter that town and the guards will be all over me. Like I said, dragons are looked down upon for some reason…”

            “Well I can’t go there alone, you have to protect me,” she winked. “Wait… of course! Rarity, you’re a genius!”

            “Doubtful, what did you come up with?”

            “The perfect way to get you into town!” Rarity said as her horn started to glow with a blue magic.

            “What are you doing?” asked Spike.

            “Opening my purse dear,” said the white mare. Suddenly, there was a small flash of light and a small portal, no bigger than a cannonball, opened up in front of Rarity. “I’m sure it’s in here somewhere…”

            “What the hell is that?!” gasped the dragon. “Did you just rip the air open?!”

            “It’s a magical purse. It’s where I keep all my things so I don’t have to encumber myself with silly things,” she said as she searched the magical purse. “I’ve got my necessary travel items in here: shampoo, conditioner, towels, mane brushes, coat brushes, a makeup kit, pair of glasses, bug spray, lots of soap and perfume…”

            “Got anything useful in there?” asked Spike. “Like some food or weapons?”

            “Certainty not!” puffed Rarity. “A lady has no need for things as barbaric as weapons! And food would mess up all my things.”

            “Well at least you can pretty up my corpse when I die of starvation…”

            “Oh hush you… ah here it is!” she said as she pulled something out of her purse. “Do you want to hear my plan.”

            “Sure, why not?”

            “Well I have the cutest, if not a little fussy, kitty cat back at home and whenever I take her on walks I use a leash to make sure she doesn’t run off on me.”

            “Oh, so it’s not just me,” smiled the drake.

            Rarity frowned but continued. “As I was saying… When I was in captivity, I couldn’t help but hear in on a conversation between some dragon prisoners and a guard. The guard told them that if they were lucky, they would be sold off as pets…”

            Spike’s smile dropped. “I don’t like this plan anymore.”

            The mare gave a mischievous grin as she revealed a long scarlet leash from behind her. “Oh, now, don’t be like that, and hold still while I put it on.”

            “No,” shook the dragon. “I refuse to wear anything that degrading in public and there is nothing you can say or do to make me!”

*****

           “This is stupid,” pouted Spike. The large dragon had the cat’s leash and collar wrapped around his neck, covering his metal slave collar. Rarity lead her ‘pet dragon’ by the length of the leash as Spike was forced to follow her like a disgruntled puppy. “Seriously, I look like a goddess damned idiot.”

            “I think you look adorable!”

            “I look like a moron.”

            “Oh pish posh! Don’t be such a baby,” said the mare as they approached the small forest town of Hallows.

            It was your classic middle of nowhere village. The one where everypony knew everypony, where there were no big companies but rather independent businesses, where the most exciting thing was probably Boo Rattle falling out of the apple tree or some other no-name pony. It was quiet and isolated. It was a perfect place for a pony and a dragon to hide out for a while.

            “Come along Spike,” said Rarity. “I think that I see an eatery up ahead.”

            “Who the hell says eatery anymore?” asked Spike. “In fact, when did ponies start saying eatery?”

            “Everypony in Vanhoover says it,” said the white mare, still leading the dragon along.

            “Hey look! A pet dragon!” a lemon yellow filly shouted, dragging her mother towards Rarity and Spike. “You have a pretty dragon, miss!”

            “Why thank you!” smiled Rarity. “He’s my little Spikey-wikey!”

            “Cool! Hi Spikey-wikey!” giggled the filly, waving to the large purple dragon, who remained silent.

            “Spike, say hello to the nice girl.”

            The dragon gave a heavy sigh. “Hello…” he groaned.

            “Aww, he’s so cute!” giggled the yellow filly. “Can I pet him?”

            “Of course!” said Rarity, looking at Spike. “Lower your head please.”

            The dragon muttered something under his breath as he obeyed, letting the small pony rub her hoof on the top of his head. The filly giggled as Spike’s scales tickled the bottom of her hoof. The dragon rolled his eyes as the little mare started to rub harder and harder down on his head. It started to get irritating.

            “If you don’t stop rubbing so hard, I will eat you alive in your sleep,” Spike whispered to the filly.

            The filly shrieked, crying back to her mother’s side. “Mommy! The dragon said he was going to eat me!” she cried.

            “Spike!” barked Rarity.

            “What? She was rubbing too hard!” defended the drake. “It was hurting my head!”

            “So you threatened to eat her?! She’s just a filly!”

            “Lady, you need to control your pet!” scowled the mother. “I have half a mind to report you to the Lunar Guards!”

            “No!” screamed Rarity. “My little Spikey-Wikey is really nice… he’s just not housebroken yet.”

            “He should be put down,” said the mother mare. “He’s probably rabid and feral.”

            “I’ll show you rabid and fer—“

BBBZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZTTTTTT!

            The shock rolled through his body, tensing up his nerves and muscles, paralyzing him as he fell to ground, twitching in jerky, lightning induced spasms.

            “There’s he’s down,” said Rarity. “I’m terribly sorry if he scared your daughter, it was awfully mean of him and I can assure you he will not hear the end of it.  So if we could please just keep this between us that would be most appreciated.”

            “Just keep it away from my daughter,” said the mother, taking her daughter and walking away from the mare and the downed dragon.

            “Thank you so much, dear!” Rarity called out to them before looking down at the dragon. “What on earth were you thinking!?” She muttered. “Are you trying to get us caught?”

            “Hey, I’m not the not the one who offered to pet the dragon,” said Spike, picking himself off of the ground. “And what the hell was all that ‘Spikey-Wikey’ crap? I’m not a freaking shih tzu puppy dog or whatever the hell would deserve such an idiotic name!”

            “You could have at least humored the dear; you didn’t have to scare her.”

            “More fun to scare them. Besides I hate kids,” said Spike.

            “What?” gasped Rarity. “How can you hate children?”

            “Easy.  They’re whiny, smelly, and annoying little urchins,” listed the dragon. “They are the root of all misery in the world and future generations would thank us for their immediate eradication.”

            “You’re very unpleasant to be around you know?”

            “I try my best,” the dragon said sarcastically.

            “Anything else I should know?” droned Rarity.

            “I could go on; I’ve been thinking of writing a list, you’re number one on it by the way.”

            The white mare sighed. “Great, can we go eat now?”

            “Might as well,” groaned Spike as the two headed towards the restaurant. “The Iron Cage? What kind of a name is that for a restaurant?”

            “It doesn’t matter as long as they have food, I’m positively famished.”

            “That’s great… Hey, you have money right?”

            “What?” gasped Rarity. “I thought you were going to pay.”

            “Does it look like I have any cash on me?”

            “Ugh, fine,” murmured Rarity. “I suppose I’ll pay but it’s not very gentlemanly to make a lady pay for a meal.”

            “I’ll keep that in mind for when I actually give two shits,” said Spike as they walked into the diner.

            It must have been lunch hour, because the place was packed wall to wall with hungry ponies. There was a bar area at the back at the back were stallions and mares were drinking their foamed top drinks as they shared happy banter. Waitresses were running back and forth from the kitchen, the large doors that lead to the kitchen were never closed for more than a second, flying open and closed as ponies rushed through it. Around the rest of the restaurant were tables where several customers were dining or placing their orders to the cheery waiters who would rush back to the kitchens.

            “Nice place,” said Spike as a waiter walked up to them.

            “Hello, and welcome to The Iron Cage, Hollow’s finest and only eatery!”

            “What is it with eatery?” Spike said to himself.

            “I’m sorry Miss, but we don’t allow pets in the restaurant. He’ll have to be tied up outside until you’re done.”

            “But sir, he’s not a pet,” Rarity said. “He’s more of an escort, a body guard.”

            “I’m sorry, but those are the rules,” said the waiter. “Either he goes and waits outside or neither of you come in.”

            “Hmm…” wondered the mare. She her curled her lips up into a sly smile as she batted her eyes. “Please monsieur; I’m sure a…handsome stallion as yourself could make an exception this one itty bitty time?”

            The waiters face grew red. “Y-y-you think I’m handsome?”

            “Why of course, darling,” the pony said, assaulting the stallion with half-lidded bedroom eyes as she approached him. “What with your silky smooth coat, rugged, chiselled jaw, and those big beefy muscles! You’re lying if you say no mare has ever called you handsome before,” she said before fluttering her lethal eyes, tearing through the stallion’s heart and libido.

            “I-I well… umm, well no… you’re the first.”

            “Am I now?” cooed Rarity, playfully bumping the stallion’s nose. “Well I’m sure a cutie such as yourself could overlook the regulations, just his one time. Please?”

            “Well I… Sure, okay,” said the waiter, finally caving in to the white mare seductress. “I’ll lead you to your tables. If anyone asks, he’s your assistant.”

            “Thank you,” she winked. “Now, come along now, Spike. Spike?”

            Rarity turned around to see the dragon bewildered and jaw-dropped. His eyes were wide as if he saw a ghost as he was lightly dragged by the leash around his collar to the table.

            “There you two go!” said the waiter as Rarity and Spike took their seats. “Is there anything I can start you off with? Any drinks?”

            “Just water please,” said Rarity.

            “I’ll have whatever you got on tap,” said Spike, snapping out of his little trance.

            “Whatever you say, and remember, if you need anything miss, don’t hesitate to ask.”

            “We won’t,” smiled Rarity, giving their waiter a frisky wink. “I’ll be sure to ask for the dashing stallion.”

            The waiter’s face grew redder as he quickly went to fetch their drinks, leaving the two to mingle.

            “Wow…” said Spike. “Aren’t we a little succubus?”

            “Quiet you,” the mare mumbled. “I hate having to do that.”

            “Yeah, leading the poor guy on must be the worst thing you’ve ever done,” the dragon cynically yawned.

            “You know, I could still tie you to a street pole like a common terrier.”

            “I’m good where I am,” he said.

            “Well…”

            “Well what?”

            “Aren’t you going to thank me?” Rarity asked.

            Spike laughed. “What, for being the devil’s temptress?”

            “For getting you in the restaurant,” said Rarity. “The least you could do is say thank you. It’s polite.”

            “Isn’t asking for thanks awfully rude?” smiled the dragon smugly. “That’s very unladylike of you.”

            “I—umm,” Rarity was about to say something but her voice stopped working. Her face turned red as she realized the dragon was right.

            “Ha! Figured you out, didn’t I, Miss Rarity?”

ZZZTT!

            “Ow! You know this isn’t very ladylike either!”

            “Here’s your drinks!”

            The waiter quickly rushed over to their table, balancing three glasses on a tray on his back. He slid a brown mug filled to the brim with foamy ale to Spike, and two glasses of water to Rarity.

            “Umm, I only ordered one glass,” said the mare.

            “I know, but I took the liberty of getting you an extra one in case you need a refill,” the waiter smiled.

            “Well, how very sweet of you,” beamed Rarity, but quickly glancing at the dragon. “It’s always nice to receive such wonderful service, isn’t it Spike?”

            “Whatever…” droned Spike as he quickly drank his beer, downing it in seconds. “You should have gotten me the extra cup kid,” he said, placing the empty mug on the waiter’s tray.

            “Sure, one refill.  Anything else?”

            “Yes, I would like to order the small garden salad, hold the cheese please,” Rarity said, passing her menu to the stallion.

            “Very good,” said the waiter, turning towards Spike. “And for the dragon?”

            “Do you have any rubies?”

            “Umm… rubies?”

            The dragon sighed. “I thought not, just tell me what you have for meat.”

            “Oh, all meat and meat based dishes are located on the Griffon and Kirin section of the menu,” said the waiter. “All food on that part of the menu uses non-domestic animals or sentient beings such as rabbit, fish, and squirrels. In the case of beef, pork and even… ‘pony’, the donors were previously deceased from an act that was not in the attention of turning them into food or from any transmittable disease, such as The Crowly Act requires.”

            “So what? You’re serving me war victims or old meat?”

            “Exactly, Luna requires the reuse of dead corpses to be used for feeding the Kirins and the Griffon Mercenaries.”

            “Really?” hummed Spike, a sick smile forming across his purple face. “In that case, get me something with lots… and lots… of ponies in it.”

            The waiter gulped. “V-v-very g-good sir,” he said before walking away, weaving through the tables and heading into the kitchen.

            Spike chuckled to himself as he slid deeper into his seat, getting more comfortable. “Stupid pony.”

BTTTTZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ!

            “AH! Frick! That hurt!” growled Spike.

            “What on earth is a matter with you?!” screeched Rarity.

            “What the hell are you getting mad at?” yelled Spike. “I was just ordering my meal.”

            “You ordered that just to upset me!”

            “No, I ordered that because they didn’t have what I wanted and to upset you!”

            “You’re such a… oh I can even begin to explain how you’re acting!” she muttered.

            “What? That I’m acting like an animal?” shouted Spike. “A beast? A monster?!”

            “LIKE A DRAGON!” roared Rarity.

            “Well here’s a newsflash for you princess! I AM A DRAGON!” He got up from the table and stormed outside. “And if you don’t want me around, either pull the trigger or let me go.”

            “Spike—I… Come back here right now!” she shouted, standing in the middle of the restaurant.

            “Umm… miss, are you okay?”

            “Excuse me?” Rarity asked, looking next to her, seeing her waiter with a terrified look on his face. It had just occurred to her that she had been yelling at the top of her lungs while arguing with the dragon and had created a scene for the entire population of the bar to watch. She stared into the silence as she quickly realized what a disturbance she had caused. Her face having turned beet red, she quickly conjured up a few bits for the drinks and ran out of the bar. “Spike, Spikey!” she called, racing into the dragon’s side, seeing him lumbering down the streets.

            He turned around, sighing as the mare rushed up to him, panting in exhaustion.

            “What the hell do you want?” Spike muttered.

            “I… I…” panted Rarity, doing her best to collect herself. “I wanted to say I was sorry.”

            “Are you serious?” asked the drake, scrunching his eye. “After all that, you want to apologize to me?”

            “Yes,” said the white mare. “I didn’t mean it, I don’t think that you’re as bad as you think you are.”

            “Well gee whiz, I guess that makes everything all better,” deadpanned Spike. “Or you could maybe accept the fact that you chose to enslave me because I’m big, scary monster.”

            “You’re not a monster, Spike,” smiled Rarity. “You just pretend to be one.”

            “Oh really? Wonderful, I’m a big scary sexy dragon with the heart of gold,” he said, throwing his hands in the air. “No offense, but that sounds like a cliché from a bad romance novel.”

            “Sexy?”

            “Like you haven’t thought it,” said Spike.

            “Certainly not! You’re a—don’t let him get to you Rarity…” she whispered to herself. “He’s just trying to get under your fur.”

            “Hey, Sméagol, if you’re done talking to yourself can we head out?”

            “What’s a Sméagol?” she asked. “It sounds hideous.”

            “Kind of like you,” snickered Spike.

ZZZZZTTT!

            “ERR! Hit a nerve, didn’t I?”

BBBZZZZZZZZZZTTTT!

            “Oh I’m sorry,” said Rarity, giggling to herself. “I hit a nerve there, didn’t I, dear?”

            “You suck…” groaned the dragon, rubbing his neck. “I hate this collar.”

            “Oh not this again…”

            “Yes, Rarity, this again,” said Spike. “And it’s going to be this again until I get it off.”

            “Well, once again I apologize—“

            “Enough with the apologizing!” the dragon snarled. “It’s like every little thing you do is an accident so you have to apologize for it. Grow a backbone, for the goddess’s sake!”

            “I have a backbone!” the pony huffed. “But a lady is polite and refined, unlike some individuals I know—would you stop picking your nose!?”

            “Hmm?” smiled the drake, his pinkie claw jammed right up his nostril. “What’s that? I can’t hear you?”

            “That’s disgusting!” gagged Rarity.

            “No, what’s disgusting is that I think I can feel my brain.”

            “I’m going to throw up…”

            “It’s all squishy too.”

            “Pull your finger out!” screamed Rarity. “Do it this instant!”

            “As you wish,” smiled the drake, pulling his finger out of his nose. “Oh dear, I have a booger stuck to my finger.”

            “Would you like a moist tissue?” asked Rarity.

            “Nah, I’ll just wipe it down on something,” he snickered.

            “Well, I’m sure you could still use onEEK!” the mare squeaked as she felt the dragon drag his claw along her back. She felt every sharp finger against her skin, sending a strange chill down her spine, a mix of panic, shock, and something else…

            “There we go,” said Spike.

            “Did… did you just do what I think you did?”

            “Hmm, maybe…” grinned the dragon.

            Rarity stared at Spike, looking deep into his dark green eyes. She smiled a little, almost beaming to him as her horn started to glow and she opened up her magical purse portal and pulled out a small white tissue. She rubbed the spot where Spike had so casually wiped his snot off, cleaning up the booger and tossed the used tissue aside.

            “Now Spikey,” she said. “There are many things that I can tolerate. A lady should never break her form and should always retain a sense of beauty and dignity and refrain from the less uncouth things in her mannerism.”

            “Umm… okay?” Said Spike, somewhat confused.

            “However, there are certain things that even I cannot simply suppress, like what you did there.”

            “Okay…”

            “You can curse, fart, and be you nasty little self all you want…” she said, her smiling instantly vanishing. “But no pony, BUCKS WITH MY MANE!”

            “Oh, sweet merciful Cele—“

BBBBBBBBBBBBTTTTTTTTTZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ!

            “AHHHHHHH! AHHH! AHHHHHHHHHH!”

BTTTTTZZZZZZZZ! ZZZZZTTTTT! BZZZTTT! BBZZZZZZTTTT!

            “OKAY! OKAY! I GIVE UP! I WON’T DO IT EVER AGAIN! I SWEAR!” screamed the dragon, falling to the ground in a steaming pile of slightly charred and twitching flesh. “Just please… stop.”

            “Do you apologize?”

            “YES.”

            “Say you’re sorry.”

            “I’m sorry,” grunted the dragon, his face planted into the ground.

            “I’m sorry I…” teased the mare.

            “I’m sorry I wiped my greasy little dragon booger on your coat and/or your mane and will never do it again for the duration of our companionship…”

            “Wonderful! Apology accepted,” chirped the mare, trotting happily down the past. “Come along Spike, we have a long road ahead of us.”

            “Okay…” moaned Spike, his body like jelly and refusing to move. “I’ll catch up… you psychotic little pony.”