Oh, what do you want?

As you can tell, I'm sort of occupied at the moment, I do not have time for someone like you.

Oh fine, you do have a point. I have all the time in the world as long as those ponies keep me locked up in this statue. I suppose I can talk to you, but why should I? I'm Discord, the Spirit of Disharmony and-

That's not funny. You know how my statue works, and you are toying with me because of it? Don't interrupt me when I am trying to introduce myself. Keep your hoof on the statue if you want to talk or hear me. As I was saying, I am Discord, Spirit of Disharmony and Chaos. Who is the subject that dares to talk to me?

Ah, so that is your name. I know you. You are a very interesting stallion.

Just because I am locked in this statue, doesn't mean that I am behind on Equestria's events. I know every single pony on Equestria. As long as they felt chaos in their life at some point, I felt them. I know you, I know your wife, I even know your son. Oh, my apologies, that sounds creepy doesn't it?

Happy anniversary, by the way. I find it interesting that you decided to come out and do homework on me rather than spend the time with your wife.

Sure, a dinner is “just enough”. I believe you. Even I can feel the chaos in your heart when you say this to me. Why must you lie to me? Don't you know that it... hurts my feelings? Hahahaha!

You are quite the character. You were hired by Luna as her therapist, and what have you gotten from her so far?

…

What's the matter? You can tell me. It's not like I can break out of this statue. The Elements of Harmony are still alive and kicking, although they seem to be very selective with the definition of harmony. Is Equestria truly under harmony if only a select few are capable of feeling it?

I see you are writing down my answers.

Oh, no I don't mind. I just find it interesting that you trust my words. After all, I am the antithesis of your ruler, why would you trust anything that I say? Unless, you don't trust your ruler.

Heh, don't lie to me. You know that I can tell when you are. The conflicting emotions in your mind are delicious and interesting... perhaps I can help quell the questions that pool in your mind? I'll give you my side of the story. I suggest you lay down or something, but keep your back hoof on the statue so that you can still hear me.

I'll start with your precious ruler. First of all, her opinion on harmony is silly, not to mention wrong. Your Princess thinks that if she works hard enough as a monarch, she would be able to ameliorate the problems that comes with a random and ever changing world. She fails to notice that chaos will always remain on Equestria, whether I am encased in stone or not. There will always be the outliers in society: the orphans that have to raise their younger sister and themselves, the orphan that looks up to an idol for the strength to continue the next day, and the stallions that are slowly drifting from their wives.

Oh? No, that had nothing to do with you.

Harmony is an effect that can't be sustained. It's too... for lack of a better word, perfect for us ponies to try and emulate. Yes, us, just because I'm a chaotic being of nature doesn't mean that I can't empathize. Kindness, laughter, loyalty, honesty, generosity, and magic are present in all of us, even me. All of these themes require draconian amounts of effort in order to keep, while chaos requires no effort at all, it simply happens. I can snap my fingers and turn the world upside down, or I can simply wait and watch it all happen by itself. I don't need hope, I simply need time.

Your Princess is going to drain herself dry if she continues to pursue harmony. Seeing somepony with so much potential wasting their time on harmony when it could be used on chaos is a shame.

No, I don't feel sorry for Celestia. It is because of her that I am stuck inside of this statuesque hell for the second time! Now I have to resort to plebeian tasks such as talking to you in order to keep myself entertained. The chaos that is present in all of us is certainly not enough to keep my boredom from escalating. I live and thrive on chaos, it's unfortunate that Celestia has reached the limit of her iron grip on Equestria, so now there is less chaos for me to enjoy.

Why? What do you mean, why?

Perhaps I wasn't clear. I'm Discord, Spirit of Disharmony and-

…

…

I think you are over-thinking this. I am simply a being that thrives on chaos.

Asking why I am this way is irrelevant. My existence relies on the inverted physics that I create and the strife that ponies create for each other. I know this because I had my own thousand years of ruling where I did things my way. The world was at my fingertips and I treated it like a prize as I turned everything that I wanted into its chaotic counterpart. Houses were upside down, food was eaten backwards, and many ponies transformed into a different personality. All it took was a little getting used to, and yet nopony wanted to indulge me in my version of the world.

Now, everypony prefers Celestia's version of Equestria, where the Equestrian laws of physics remain as the foundation of what's right and wrong. It's understandable, considering everything to them “makes sense”. But at what cost? They simply have to trust her, an alicorn that has the ability to do whatever she wants. Everypony has to trust that she is going to keep harmony in Equestria, assuming they know what harmony is. Ah hah... maybe that is why you do not trust your leader. You don't feel harmony in your world, since you can dig past the plaster that Celestia has placed on the public and find the real problem. You are a smart pony after all, I'm sure someone like you would be perfect enough to prove Celestia wrong.

No, I'm not suggesting anything. As much as I would like you to wreak havoc on the one who assigned me this statue for the second time, I also know that you cannot be easily manipulated. I know that you do not trust Celestia, but I also know that you are not an idiot. Did you want more of my story? Perhaps I should move on.

The Princess of the Night was fully grown when I first met her. She acted more like a pony than Celestia ever could. I saw her cry, fight, and yell at her sister. I wasn't sure of beforehand, but their adulthood was a hard time for the both of them. They fought constantly over how much time the sun and the moon should have. While Luna questioned her sister, she didn't move farther past mere suggestions for the time between the sun and the moon. She remained passive and resistant while Celestia became impulsive and unyielding. Their differences were set aside when I came around, but I could still feel the scars of their past in their thoughts and words. They were both two walking paragons of chaos that continuously spouted more at each other. It was beautiful... really.

Celestia was the first to challenge my rule. I remember that day like it was yesterday. I sat in my throne as my signature chocolate rain clouds continued their downpour across the land. Celestia sprinted to my throne chair and glared at me while her horn glowed a menacing color. She told me that my rule was making everypony miserable and that Equestria was not meant to be ruled this way. A being like me was apparently not meant to be in Equestria, and she was not going to tolerate my disregard for everypony's safety.

With a simple snap of my fingers, I drenched the alicorn in chocolate rain. Her mane stuck to her fur and she grew angrier by the second. I asked her if she wanted to be my queen and I tried to hypnotize her to do my bidding. She knew the spell however and she closed her eyes to prevent mine from working. I started to grow agitated. Things weren't going my way. Celestia gave me a boring speech on how ponies needed to live in a world that was not constantly changing so that they could settle down and relax. If they were able to relax, then they could make fillies and foals for the next generation.

She would have continued if I didn't surround her in a bubble of cotton candy that drowned out her speech. I moved over to the bubble and gave it a small kick. The bubble accelerated until Celestia rolled far away from my throne and out of my sight. I had better things to do than be lectured by a stubborn alicorn.

Around a week later, Luna came to my throne. She was slightly shorter than Celestia, and the expression that she carried looked like a single insult would break her resolve. She was shaking and she couldn't even stare in my eyes. Whether it was because Celestia told her about my hypnotism, or her complete fear of me, I did not know. All I knew was that she had chaotic feelings about her actions. She was second guessing herself as she stood before me. I would never forget that conversation.

She told me that my chaotic rule on Equestria was not making anypony's life easier. She said that Celestia broke her wing when she finally collided with a mountain while in her cotton candy ball and she was being nursed back to health. I was growing tired of her lectures and was ready to deliver Luna to the same fate, but when I turned my gaze back to her after a hearty laugh, I saw that she was staring into my eyes. Her eyes were full of rage, but I didn't see her horn glow or her hooves tighten. She didn't need to cast any spells, because she knew that her words would be the vigilant plague that would spread throughout my thoughts when I was finally frozen by the Elements.

I remember Luna raising her hoof as she pointed at the sun. It had just shone over the horizon since the previous fifteen minutes were graced with the moon. She told me that crops could not grow in this environment, and that hospitalization for her subjects was becoming more prevalent as their health started to falter.

I asked her why I should care, and she told me that without any subjects, I would not have any more toys to play with.

I laughed and told her that I didn't care if I had toys to play with.

She then sighed and asked if chaos was the only thing that I cared about. I would have laughed again, but she interrupted me and continued. She said that because of me, her sister was now unable to cast any magic due to the pain of her broken wing. She said that because of me, her subjects were becoming more sick and miserable in a world that was clearly meant for them, but was changed to remain ambiguous to most and liveable for one.

I told her that this world was meant to be liveable for only me. It was my world with my rules. I grew angry with her audacity to speak to me in this way. With a simple snap of my fingers, I removed Luna's wings from her body in order to give her a hint of my irritation. I could feel the mare shaking due to her fear, but she still kept her stare. She said that an existence like mine must be lonely, since I don't have any subjects, only puppets. She wished that I was one of her subjects, so that she could show me the empathy, emotion, and love that she gives them.

I laughed and asked, “when did you have any subjects? You are simply an over-sized pony with too much power.”

She said that she didn't have any subjects until I came along. Everypony was perfectly capable of living on their own, but when the world was turned upside down by my ruling, they came to us and begged us to usurp me from the throne. She didn't know how she was going to do it, but she knew that ponies couldn't live in my environment.

The words were caustic in the past, but I couldn't feel the vitriol until I was locked in this statue. They came a month later with the Elements of Harmony and froze me in stone. I didn't even know what the Elements on their heads did, I thought they simply crafted some simple jewelry that was going to be mine when I was done with them. However, you and I both know that this isn't the case. Hindsight is twenty twenty vision, unfortunately.

There, that's the story that you wanted to hear, isn't it? You have been here for a hour. The guards are going to catch you if you stay here.

I would be lying to you if I didn't say that my past self was completely different from the one that now stands before you. When you have a thousand years to think about your entrapment, and then another few years after your second one, you start to wonder if you are correct in your philosophy. Is this world condemning me because I am different, or because I am a menace? Am I even being condemned, or am I being saved? Is this the only possible solution for my existence?

Luna did have a point and I didn't see it until it was too late. I was breaking apart every possible bond with Equestrian's citizens and using them for my own enjoyment. Now, I am fulfilling that lonely existence with rare instances of company.

You do have a point, I could have focused on one area of land rather than simply enslaving all of Equestria to chaos. That way, I wouldn't have risked the lives of everypony, only a minority. I could have been more open with the Princesses, but I can't ameliorate any of these problems. There's also the fact that I'm not sure if I am even able to fix myself. Seeing the status quo being bent and shifted to something completely different gives me a mystical feeling of warmth and happiness. Why see an apple fall onto the forest floor from gravity when it can turn inside out or swirl into a bunch of its own kind and become a living being?

The chaotic feelings inside of everypony in Equestria feels like a drug. I can't ignore it, I can't deny it, I can only endure or accept it. I have an overwhelming desire to turn this planet upside down, but this desire is archaic. I felt this ever since I was a mere spawn, but now, I can see that the impulsive and rash desire is what got me here in the first place. Just like Nightmare Moon, my ego and overzealous actions were beaten back into line with the Elements of Harmony. It's easy to act without thinking. It's harder to think before acting.

Do you? Do you really believe me? I could have been spouting drivel for the past hour. I could have been waiting for a way to change you into one of my own pawns.

Yes... I didn't.

...

...

...

I'm done talking to you. Before you leave, remember this. Your wife has been having trouble with the baby. Give her a little more help, she could use it.