*Beep*

*Beep*

*Beep*

My eyes shot open. I looked at the source of the beeping and found myself looking at a series of numbers that flickered multiple times.

5:30

I got out of my bed, turned off the alarm, and turned on the lights before I started changing cloths. My closet sported multiple copies of what I preferred to wear, black dress pants and white dress shirts. Then came my favorite holster(which carried Yin & Yang and three throwing knives) before a black fleece jacket(which I also had multiple copies of) and my armored robes(which I only have one copy of). Next were finished off with a pair of black socks and boots. Everything was topped off with a pocket universe contained in a satchel(previously a backpack and also the only copy I own) and my gunstock war club & the Sparda.

Not the most conventional of outfits.

-X-X-X-

The contents of a single pan sizzled from the heat it gained from an electric stove. To think, something as simple as an omelet required more ingredients and preparation than what you would assume.

5 eggs

1/4 of a tomato

1 teaspoon of butter

2 ounces of milk

2 ounces of water

1/4 of an onion

1-4 basil leaves

1 garlic clove

3 different cheeses

Still, it is definitely worth it.

I moved my omelet onto a plate before cutting it in two halves. Cheese oozed out from where I sliced it, slowly piling between the two slices. I took out another plate and moved half of the omelet onto it before picking up the two omelet halves. I brought both omelet halves over to a table where a fork and knife was set up at one section while a pair of chopsticks was set up at another.

I pulled out Yin from its holster and fired a round into the ground(its a good thing I lived in a 4 level bunker on the outskirts of the Everfree Forest).

A yell came from somewhere else on this level of my bunker. "I'm coming! I can smell it from here!" Scootaloo yelled out, hoping I would hear her.

You know what's the irony behind this? This omelet, which required about an hour of preparation and cooking, was simply something that I would not be able to enjoy like other people as with other foods. Why? Barely functioning sense of smell. Without the sense of smell, you can't taste foods properly because smell and taste are directly linked to one another. Items with strong flavors register but lighter things don't. Oh, and basic flavors also register. Mint is a personal favorite of mine.

Still, food is food. I still enjoy eating food for their textures.

"It's gonna get cold!" I yelled.

An orange and purple blur came from the hallway that connected the kitchen to the bedrooms. Unfortunately, this orange blur happened to have crashed into the table, sending the plates of omelets and utensils into the air. I was quick to react and caught both plates but failed to catch anything else.

I looked at Scootaloo as it rained down various eating utensils, cups, and several napkins (who was sheepishly looking at me). "Sorry." I looked at both omelets which were still in pristine condition. I held out one plate for her to eat and she gratuitously took it.  

With my free hand, I snapped my fingers and the table was completely reset. Sitting down at the table, I started to eat my half of the omelet. "Ready for school?" I asked. Apparently, my question was lost as Scootaloo essentially lost all intelligent thought as she ate her food. "Oi!"

She snapped out of her stupor and looked at me. "Hubba wha?"

"Ready to go to school?" I asked.

She groaned back at me. "Its not even seven yet!" she complained.

I laughed on the inside. "Just make sure you're on time."

She quickly took another bite of her omelet. "Oh and can you come to school today?" Scootaloo asked with food still in her mouth.

"Why?" I asked.

She swallowed before answering. "I'm supposed to bring in someone to talk about their job" she replied. Before I could ask what I wanted to ask, she answered. "Career fair."

"Sure." I had absolutely nothing important to do today so why not? Both of us finished up our breakfasts and she left as I cleaned the two dishes. When I finished, I realized that Scootaloo had forgotten something.

I snapped my fingers and she appeared in front of me, hovering in the air. "But I just arrived!" she said. I held up a 1 bit coin. She face hoofed. "Lunch money, right." She once again left, leaving me by myself.

Hopefully, today is going to be completely mundane... As if that's ever going to happen.

-X-X-X-

The first item my agenda was to go on a walk. That must seem perfectly normal and safe, right? Considering I live on the Everfree Forest and that this involves me, I think it will be anything but normal and safe. Immediately upon stepping out of my bunker home, I felt a powerful dark presence nearby.

I drew Yin and Yang and faced where it came from. "I know you're there" I said, facing the direction it came from. I flicked the safeties off on both pistols and prepared to shoot.

"Wait!" a female voice replied. A pair of mares stepped out of hiding.

What really surprised me was that they were both alicorns. One of them had a grey coat and sported an orange mane that was striped with lighter orange streaks. She appeared to be taller than Twilight but no taller than Cadance. With her horn, she barely reached my chin. A magnifying glass was what her cutie mark was.

The other mare also sported a grey coat except hers was slightly darker. Her tail and mane was a deep shade of scarlet and she was shorter than Twilight. Unlike the other mare, she had no cutie mark.

I lowered Yin & Yang. I knew these two. What were their names? "We thought we could get your help" the alicorn with the cutie mark said.

"I haven't seen you in a while. Especially the readers. It's been like thirty chapters" I said.

"What?" the other alicorn said.

"Yeah. Exactly thirty chapters as of now" I said.

"What does that even mean?" the cutie mark-less alicorn asked.

"Something." Both of them looked rather irritated at my statement. "If memory serves, you're Mitta" I said while pointing to the mare with the cutie mark. Then I pointed to the other mare. "-And you're Ruby."

"Actually, I'm Ruby" the Mare with the cutie mark said. She then pointed at her companion. "And she's Mitta."

Eh, I have to be wrong eventually. I noticed that Mitta was staring at Yin & Yang so I holstered the two pistols. "Thank you" Mitta said.

Let's see if my memory is not suffering from my continuous exposures to massive amounts of poisons. "And I believe you are Ruby's mum" I said, looking at Mitta.

Mitta looked at Ruby. "I thought you said that you've never spoken to him since that one day" Mitta said.

"I didn't!" Ruby said.

"Don't you go lying to me, I'm your mother!" Mitta said.

"I'm not lying!" Ruby said.

"Then how does he know this?" Mitta asked.

I smiled. "I know everything" I said. Ruby and Mitta were/are two characters from a flash game called Story of the Blanks. Basically, its about a town, Sunny Town,  that is mysteriously in the Everfree Woods. The town was once plagued with the cutie pox so everypony there feared cutie marks for the next few generations. One day, one of the mares(Ruby) got her cutie mark and the towns people(ponies) formed a mob and killed her before burning the body. For some reason, their town was cursed and everyone(pony) was doomed to live an eternity as undead beings.

That was until one year where most of the towns people(ponies) decided that it was a good idea to suck the life force out of the citizens of Ponyville to turn themselves into living beings/alicorns. They were promptly stopped by the Mane Six, the Human Six, and I after a long construed battle. Strange times. Very strange indeed.

There is one thing that confused me about the tale. "But one thing still eludes my mind. Why was your town cursed?" I asked.

"That's actually part of why we're here" Ruby said.

"The other townsponies of Sunny Town are gone" Mitta said.

"Hmm, I thought the two of you would deal with the problem considering the two of you are very powerful alicorns" I said. "Seriously, the two of you have had more than half a year to deal with all of that."

"We're not killers like you and your friends" Mitta said.

"Mom!" Ruby said.

"Nope. I'm pretty much a serial mass murdering cannibal" I said.

"What?!" Ruby said, taking a few steps away from me.

"If I was going to kill you, I would have shot the two of you already when I had the chance."

"Why do we need his help again?" Mitta asked.

"Okay, so why is this my problem?" I asked. "How much harm could the other members of Sunny Town do? There can't be that many of them. They're essentially zombies so they can't really do much."

"You and your friends only killed half of them" Mitta said.

"We killed the others last time and now they're not alicorns with powerful magic" I said.

"But they did find out that they could turn hydras, wolves, and manticores into zombies that would also fight with them" Mitta said.

I paused and looked up. "Shouldn't be too hard."

"Are you that arrogant?!" Mitta exclaimed. I shrugged.

-X-X-X-

Mitta and Ruby stared at the burning pile of dead undead corpses that used to be the remaining members of Sunny Town. "Mom, I think you were wrong" Ruby said.

"You're grounded" Mitta said back.

"I'm a fully grown mare" Ruby said. "And what are we supposed to do now?"

"I don't know" I said. I looked down at myself. I was covered head to toe in partially coagulated blood and was holding Yin and Yang. Both pistols were smoking and were empty, evident from their slides being locked back. I took the time to wipe some blood off of my face and change out the piece of gum that I was chewing on.

"Can we stay with you while we understand what to do?" Ruby asked.

I finished removing most of the blood of my face before answering. "Sure. While you reintegrate back into society and get jobs, I have a few spare rooms that you can use" I said. "Shouldn't be too hard. Well, that depends on what time period you're from."

"Well we're not from long ago" Ruby said.

"What is the most recent major event that you remember?" I asked.

"A few years ago, Celestia officially acknowledged the first earth pony noble."

Equestrian history, something that I did not know much about. To be fair, I essentially hated how some things about this world worked. I opened up my satchel and pulled out a large textbook on Equestria history. I flipped through the book and after a few seconds, I had memorized the entire book. It was both a curse and a blessing of my photographic memory and ability to perceive time faster than normal people. "That happened nearly a hundred years ago" I said while tossing the book over my shoulder. The book was pretty much ruined now, the blood that stained my everything(except for my face) had also stained the book.

Both of them were shocked from my statement. "A hundred years ago!?" Mitta exclaimed.

"I'll help you integrate into modern society. I'll need to know what you're good at or what you did before you died."

Ruby smiled. "That's easy. I was... Uh." There was an unnatural pause in her speech. Ruby was completely unsure of her thoughts. "I don't remember. It's been so long. Mom?"

MItta was horrified. Her expression paused and she did some thinking herself. Not only did she pause but she started rubbing her head. "I think I grew carrots."

"That's pretty simple" I said.

"No wait. It might have been tomatoes" Mitta said.

"Still simple enough." I looked down at myself. The blood that was covering was covering was no longer a shade of crimson that blood was supposed to be. Since it dried up, it was a lot darker. I was basically drenched in the stuff and it wasn't exactly healthy to have that much blood on me. I was also still holding onto Yin & Yang(both of which were empty) despite having already finished off the rest of Sunny Town. I reloaded both pistols and holstered them. "Let's get the two of you into town."

I snapped my blood covered fingers and the three of us disappeared in a flash. Back in Ponyville, we rematerialized in my store. I simply landed on my feet while Ruby And Mitta fell to the ground, dazed and confused. "Please do not do that again!" Mitta said.

Instead of teleporting the three of us into a closed storeroom or something, I teleported all three of us into the middle of our shop, where everyone could see us. Unexpectedly, no one started panicking. Everyone(including Logan and Calamity) were just staring at me and the two; alicorns with me.

Logan, who was behind a counter, was the first one to break the silence. "Regular Tuesday stuff?" he asked.

"Something along the lines of that" I replied. "Do we have any spare giant coats?" Logan replied by pointing in the direction of the storerooms. I, along with Mitta and Ruby, moved into the storerooms.

A few minutes later the three of us exited the store, I was no longer covered in blood and Mitta and Ruby were now wearing large cloaks. The cloaks hid their wings so that no one knew they were alicorns but their heights were also a sign that was rather obvious.

As I walked, I felt a tugging sensation on my satchel. I turned around to see Ruby biting it. "Where are we heading?" Ruby asked once she took her mouth off of the bag.

I wiped the spit off of my bag. "A friend's" I replied while continuing in the direction I was previously going.

I heard rapid foot/hoof steps. "Wait!" Ruby said. "How far are we from this friend?"

"Not long."

"And by that, you mean?" Mitta asked.

"Not long" I repeated. Half an hour later, we neared Fluttershy's cottage. Fluttershy, obviously the owner of the cottage, was feeding her chickens. She was a good distance away from us so she was still unaware of our presence. Plus, her rear was facing us so there was no reason that she would know of our presence.

Then something happened. A literal stampede of animals came out of Fluttershy's cottage, chicken coop, and the surrounding trees. They ran around in a random fashion, displaying no amount of the ability to think like any animal in Equestria.

"What the buck?" Ruby said.

I snapped my fingers and all of the animals were asleep. "I forgot about that" I said. Fluttershy, who was covered in chicken feathers and varying types of animal fur, was glaring directly at me. I snapped my fingers and she went from being within seeing distance of us, to speaking distance.

Fluttershy looked mad(as mad as her face could allow her considering she was Fluttershy). "I thought you said that would stop happening" she said.

"Oh, it did. It wasn't directly my fault this time" I said.

She looked at me with this obvious disappointed look. "Then explain what happened" Fluttershy said. She then noticed the two cloaked alicorns behind me. Seeing the two new ponies she grabbed me and moved closer to my body, hoping that I would shield her from them.

"What just happened?" Ruby asked.

I picked up Fluttershy and placed her in view of Ruby and Mitta. Shying away, Fluttershy hid behind her mane and one side of my robes. "Animals usually go crazy in the presence of dark magic. Since the two of you are technically alicorns with more dark energy to level a small village, I'd say the animals have good enough reason." That was really annoying when I had to deal with it. Of course, it took me only a few minutes to deal with the problem in the beginning but it was still annoying.

Mitta pointed at the Fluttershy. "Is that why she's hiding behind your robe?" she asked.

I looked down at Fluttershy who was trying to make herself look inconspicuous, ironically making her completely conspicuous. "No, she's just shy." I dug into my satchel and removed a large permanent marker.

"Then how is she supposed to help us?" Mitta asked.

I dug into my satchel and removed a large permanent marker. "She will be the one teaching you how to readjust."

"The shy mare who is currently hiding behind your coat?" Mitta said. "She's the one that's going to be helping us?"

I looked down at Fluttershy, trying every single action to hide her presence. "Come on, Flutters" I asked. I took a step back, putting her back in view. She tried to hide behind my coat again but I snapped my fingers and teleported from where I was standing to in-between Ruby and Mitta.

"What is that marker for?" Ruby said, looking at the aforementioned item.

"Can you take off your hoods?" I asked. They gave me weird looks but I simply just stood there, looking at the two of them with an unchanged expression. They took off their hoods and exposed their necks to me. I uncapped the marker I was still holding.

"What is that marker for?" Ruby asked. I started writing on her neck with the marker and immediately, she started squirming. "Hey! What are you doing?!"

I just continued writing on her neck. She tried to stop me from writing on her neck with the marker by using her hooves in an attempt to block my scribbles. "Just hold still." It didn't stop her from struggling.

Seconds later, I finished. Ruby rubbed at the area where I was writing on her neck. "What was that for?"

Instead of answering her, I moved over to Mitta and started writing on her neck. Like daughter like mother, she squirmed and struggled throughout the entire process. "You're an immature child!" Mitta said when I finished.

"I was using a magic marker" I said. I capped the marker and stuck it into a pocket. "I wasn't just simply scribbling nonsense onto your necks."

"Then what were you doing?!" Mitta demanded.

"I don't think you get it. I was using a magic marker. A literal magic marker. I use to draw magical enchantments" I explained. Literal magic markers! Coming to your store soon. Just ask your parents to go buy you a pack of eight for six hundred thousand bits and ninety-nine cents.

They may cost a fortune but they're pretty useful. Oh, keep them away from children and anyone in general. Who knows what spell might accidentally be drawn and casted. Somehow, Dinky had gotten a hold of one of my magic markets and inevitably started to draw with it. Nothing serious happened. It was only a magnitude 6 earthquake.

"Then what did you put on our necks?" Mitta asked

"Just a little something to keep your dark presence from freaking out Fluttershy's animals" I replied.

"Thank you" Fluttershy said.

"It was my mistake bringing them here before I did the enchantments" I said. "Right, I should be off now."

"So you're just going to leave?" Mitta asked with a sense of disappointment.

"Pretty much" I replied.

"And what happens if we just follow you?" Mitta said. I looked at here with a look that told her 'You're a moron' in the most obvious sense. Then I smiled and snapped my fingers, teleporting away.

-X-X-X-

On the outskirts of Ponyville, four of the most dangerous beings on/in the world was gathered around a small round table. They were the most dangerous beings not for the power that they had available but for the knowledge that they held in their minds.

Each of the four knew what life was. How it's supposed to work. What it meant.

While what they knew about the truth was identical, they all acted differently in their own special ways. In doing so, they balanced each other out in every way, including gender with two of them being male, the other two female.

One lived life, barely giving a damn about anything. He did as he did. His only motivation was himself and would rarely help anyone or thing else other than personal gain. Why he acts this way is a mystery. One answer could be it's because he's a selfish bastard. The other reason could be that he has simply seen most of what life could offer him and can no longer feel any real amount of emotion. Or both. Whatever the answer was, it wasn't good nor was it bad. He was just there, trying to pass the time.

Another lived lived without a care in the world. For her, the past was in the past and the present was the present. The future? It hadn't happened yet so there was no need to worry. She shared no hatred for anything and she gave everyone that she met all of the love that she had. In return, nearly everyone loved her back. It was almost impossible to hate her given how she looked and lived. While she knew the truth about life, she barely knew anything else and did whatever she wanted with no interruption mostly because everything she did was harmless.

The third lived life trying to learn as much as he could and have as much fun as he could before he was unable to. It was a somewhat foolish quest as there was an infinite source of knowledge but he did anyways. He was easily the youngest of the four but he was no doubt, dangerous with both the knowledge he had at his disposal and what he was capable of. Some looked at him with scorn but paid no thought to them. Others looked at him with fear, unsure of what he would do despite given reassurances.  He often tested himself and always tried to learn more.

Another lived life, believing that happiness was all that mattered. Everything she did involved making herself happy or bringing happiness to others. It was a good thought but it was a never-ending quest. Being content is better. No one ever questioned her but they should have. Obviously her intentions were pure as she considered everyone else's feelings but she usually did not consider other people's thoughts. This meant that she often made mistakes and would constantly annoy others despite best efforts.

"Would you like for me to refresh your tea?" Discord asked.

I held up my cup of tea and Discord poured tea into my cup, reheating the drink. Afterwards, I took a sip and closed my eyes to enjoy it. I reopened my eyes and took another sip. "Thank you" I said.

"What type of tea is this?" Pinkie Pie asked. Now if anyone were to gaze at her, their minds would shut down from the shock of seeing Pinkie Pie sitting still. This defied all forms of logic and would continue to do as so until it stopped.

"Lotus tea" Discord replied.

Could it be? The tea type from Vietnam? "Tra sen?" I asked.

"Phai" Discord replied. "Ki nuoc cha nai la tra sen." (Correct. This tea is tra sen.)

"Discord. I'm the Asian, not you" I said.

"Pffftftpff" Fluffle Puff raspberried. The pink ball of fluff had her own cup of tea along with several biscuits.

"Don't you dare start doing that too" I said.

"Pffftft?"

"That too" I said.

Discord looked at me with a construed look. His face was all scrunched up and he seemed slightly mystified. "What is she saying?" he asked.

I blinked and looked at Discord in the eyes with a serious expression."Words."

Discord just smiled before nodding. "Indeed."

"Oh, I love these tea parties of ours!" Pinkie Pie said with a smile(what else would it be?).

"Yah" I said.

Discord started staring at me after I had said that. "That's a new one" Discord said. "You said yah instead of eeyup."

"Eh." It was strange how the area would get silent. Whenever we gathered here, everything in the surrounding would simply stop. The wind no longer blew, the noises coming from the direction of Ponyville stopped, clouds stayed where they were, and all insects became silent. The four of us had been doing this for a while and it happened every time we did. It seems to me that the universe was just giving us a good amount of peace for our relaxation. I wonder why? "So how has Fluttershy been?"

Discord took a sip from his teacup. "Oh, just fine. She's been seizing up on some of my pranks despite their harmlessness." He set his teacup and saucer down. "How has your party planning been?"

Pinkie smiled and jumped onto the table, towards Discord. With that, the wind started making noises again, insects started to chirp, the town started making noises again, and the clouds continued moving. "There's this party today for this one pony named Lily Pond and she's turning forty-three and she's bringing her daughter and-" All of a sudden, Pinkie Pie jumped down from the table and back into her seat.

And so, the wind stopped again, the insects grew quiet once again, the town became quiet, and the clouds became still. "I do apologize for the interruption in the silence" Pinkie Pie said with the uttermost respect and calmness.

I took a sip from my tea. She just wanted to express her emotions. There was nothing wrong with that. Everyone wants to. Penting up your emotions is not healthy. "It's fine Pinkie. You may do as you want. You may have as much fun as your heart desires" I said.

Pinkie smiled and jumped back onto the table. Everything started happening once again. Strangely enough, it stopped just as quickly as it started. Even weirder was how everything kept on starting and stopped, as it a toddler had been given hold of a cosmic universal remote. "I can't remember" Pinkie Pie said.

Discord facepalmed upon the revelation. "To be fair, I should have expected that" Discord said.

"Pffftftpff."

"Not this time" Discord said.

I shrugged before taking another sip of my tea. That was when I noticed that I was out. "Well, looks like that's enough for this today." The universe, once again, continued in its uninterrupted cycle of continuance. It was a good thing too because I think a cosmic entity somewhere was having a migraine due to Pinkie's Pinkie-ness.

"I'll clean up today" Discord said. He snapped his fingers and the table grew wings before flying away.

"Why didn't you turn it into a doggy table thing again?!" Pinkie demanded with a slightly saddened tone of disappointment.

I pointed randomly into the distance. "Squirrel!" I yelled out. Pinkie shot off into the distance wherever I pointed, most likely in search for the mystical creature. Then I felt a familiar fluffy weight on my head.

I removed Fluffle Puff from my head and tossed her towards Discord. "Pffftftpff!" Fluffle Puff raspberried while flying through the air.

"I got it! I got it!" Discord said. Discord caught her and in doing so, nearly fell over forward. From my perspective, it seemed like Discord was actually having difficulty lifting her. "Sweet Faust, she's heavy." Out of nowhere, a slight breeze came in and lifted her out of Discord's hands.

Discord looked at me. I looked at him. He snapped his fingers. I snapped my fingers. He teleported away. I made a sandwich.

No wait. What I really meant to say was that I teleported away.

-X-X-X-

As I walked through town, I was able to continue my studies of this newer version of Equestria. A particularly strange incident involving a dimension jumping traveler caused this dimension to be damaged. With help from the Doctor and Derpy, the dimension was fixed at the cost of advancing Equestria from a late iron/early steel age civilization to a late industrial age civilization. Technology went from crossbows to submachine guns.

It made as much sense as bootstrap paradoxes.

Still, the change in technology was nice. The current technology looked like it belonged somewhere between 1870-1940. There were still some technological anomalies like in the previous version of Equestria(phones, DJ equipment, arcade games, airships, etc.) but Equestria did have access to magic. Of course, Equestria also had the seven of us with out weapons, gear, and other possessions living here.

Speaking of possessions, our modes of transportation(my transport Deuce or the other's motorcycles) were exactly the same in this version of Equestria as the previous version. Made absolutely no sense.

Ponyville, originally a village with a few thousand ponies, was now a decent sized town with tens of thousands of ponies. With a higher population, there were more buildings,  more money, and unfortunately, more crime.

I checked my watch and noticed that it wasn't even 10 O' clock yet.

I stopped walking and looked around me. Ponies milled about whether it had something to do with errands or getting to work. Simple things, really.

No matter what happened, ponies always did whatever they usually did.

Giant monster rampaging? 'I have to go harvest my flowers before they get trampled!'

Mob of reporters? 'Can I get a drink with those hay fries and maybe a milk shake?'

Country at war and threat of invasion any day? 'I'd like a couple dozen petunias with that order.'

The irony behind this is that they get scared by the most mundane things ever.

Stampede of bunnies? 'Run! Hide your children!'

A little bit of unscheduled rain? 'Grab the emergency food and get into the shelter!'

A simple thief running around? 'Grab the guns and round up the posse!'

Before I continued walking I noticed that someone had stopped in front of me. It was Caramel, that yellow earth pony stallion with the brown hair who loses the grass seeds during Winter Wrap Up. "Can I help you?" Caramel stood there, obviously scared of my presence. His eyes darted around nervously and his tail was tucked behind his legs.

Psychology is a beautiful thing.

We humans display our emotions and "tells" in simple things like how we stand, throat movement, the hands, the eyes, and how you breathe.  Ponies, on the other hand, display theirs in exactly the same way but with two more additions to the list, their ears and their tails.

I moved closer to the nearest building and climbed up the side of it. Caramel would have no chance of following me. Fun fact, equines are some of the worst climbers in the animal world, which is kinda the opposite of horses in any video game.

This also brings up another benefit of this more modern version of Equestria, the buildings are much more fun to climb. In old Equestria small buildings had thatched roofs and had very few holds. In new Equestria small buildings had tiled roofs and very sturdy windows and solid ledges. Within thirty seconds, I was gone from Caramel's sight.

I checked my watch. "Oh damn" I said. I was going to be late for something.

-X-X-X-

Logan had no idea what Tran was doing nor why he needed a handheld grinder, a pair of chopsticks, duct tape, and a table. He worked for his friend and all, but that didn't mean he knew everything that Tran did.

It was then when Logan's curiosity took over. Immediately upon opening the door to the storage, screams of pain filled Logan's ears and the store. Logan quickly entered and shut the door behind him.

The first thing he noticed(other than the screaming) was that blood covered the ceiling and some of the walls. The screams itself were coming from one stallion that had been strapped down to a table. The pony's mouth was steadily spewing out blood with every scream and his lips had been removed, crudely by the looks of it.

Tran himself was standing in front of the table and in his hands was a handheld grinder, the wheel of which was covered in blood. Complimenting the grinder was all of the blood that covered Tran's cloths and face. Despite being covered in the bodily fluids of another sentient creature, he was simply chewing his gum like any other moment.

Logan saw Tran try to say something but it was drowned out by the stallion's screams. Tran snapped his fingers and the screaming stopped. "Gotta love silence spells, right?" Tran said. "How may I help you?"

"Torturing someone?" Logan asked.

Tran held up the grinder that he was holding. "Yeah. Remember those pegasi that tried to steal the battle map for the defense of Baltimare?" Tran said.

Logan didn't take his eyes off of the grinder. "I thought you shot them all?" Logan said.

"Yeah but after some research, I found out that they were working with some other ponies. I tracked them down and captured one of them" Tran answered.

"The others?" Logan asked.

"They spontaneously combusted and turned into ash. Must be some kind of suicide spell" Tran replied.

"Kinda like cyanide pills but much more thorough" Logan said. "What have you found out so far?"

"Splinter group, allied with the griffons" Tran said. He set the grinder down on the table and wiped some blood off of his face. "Not much so far. I might move onto chopsticks and acid."

"What have you been doing with the grinder?" Logan asked.

"Removing the top row of his teeth" Tran replied.

"With a grinder?"

"Yeah" Tran replied.

Logan looked at me for a few seconds and shivered slightly. "Okay."

-X-X-X-

I dumped the dead body into the lake and watched as the cinder blocks dragged it to the bottom. "Well that's taken care of" I said while wiping some blood off of my hands. When I turned around to leave, I found myself facing a very familiar statue. It was a statue of a pegasus covering it's eyes with its hooves and its wings. Large portions of the statue was charred, as it it had been exposed to a great deal of heat. "Didn't I send you to the sun?"

I blinked and the statue was suddenly right in front of me with its hooves around my neck. The face on the statue was glaring at me with fangs bared. "You are going to let go of my neck so that we can have a polite conversation or I am going to bury you on a desolate planet with no life forms" I said. "If you send me back in time, I can still find you. If you kill me, I can still find you. If you do anything involving trying to get rid of my presence, I will find you." I slowly blinked and noticed that it still had its hooves around my neck. However, the expression on the statue changed. Instead of it glaring at me with teeth bared, it had now adopted a face that displayed confusion.

"You know that I can easily send you back to the sun or another planet. We are going discuss our situation like civilized creatures" I said. I blinked again and its hooves were off of my neck. Its face now had an irritated expression and was looking at me intently.

"Now we just need a way for you to communicate" I said, voicing my thoughts. I started looking through my pocket for something of that sort and found a small chalkboard and a ox of chalk. The chalkboard came with a rather long string handle on the back and there was a small pink note taped to the front of it.

My Pinkie Sense told me that one of my friends would be needing a chalkboard today so my guess is that you would need it.

~Pinkie

The first thing that came to mind was why did Pinkie write in pink on a pink piece of paper. It was violently bright and irritating to my eyes. The second thought that came to mind was how useful this was to the situation.

I hung the chalkboard around the weeping angel's neck and held out the small box of chalk. Then I blinked. The chalkboard around the angel's neck now had writing on it. 'I'm not scared of you. I'm just trying to be civil' the chalkboard said.

I was somewhat surprised and smiled. "Oh really now?" I held up my right hand, fingers ready to snap.

I blinked again. 'Okay, maybe you scare me a little bit' the chalkboard now said.

"I propose a truce. Instead of being enemies, let's be friends" I said. "You promise not to attack random citizens and I won't send you to barren wastelands in this galaxy."

'Sustenance?' the chalkboard read.

"Occasionally, I'll send you inmates, the kind with life sentences. No one will miss them and you'll be providing us a service" I said. I held one hand out. I closed my eyes. In the next second, my arm felt like it was almost ripped from its socket.

When I opened my eyes, the weeping angel was still there. The chalkboard read 'Sorry about the shoulder.'

"Now can I ask you to help me with something?" I said with the most mischievous of smiles.

-X-X-X-

Nick was walking through town, carrying a barrel of whiskey back to his home like he usually did every Tuesday.  Rounding a corner, he was startled by a statue of a pegasus, its wings and hooves covering its eyes. "Woah!" he exclaimed "Stupid creepy ass statue." he said walking around it.

Nick looked back to take a final glance at the statue, only to find that it was gone."What?" Nick said before he turned to face forward. That was when he ran into a solid object. He nearly fell backwards but managed to keep his balance. He did, however, manage to drop his whiskey. He quickly picked it back up and looked at what he walked into. It was the same statue from earlier.  "Alright, You've had your fun, now come out and stop moving statues around, its now funny" he said, looking around for the culprit.

When he found no person/pony, he looked back at the statue. However, the statue was no longer covering its eyes with its wings and hooves. It now had its teeth barred and held out its hooves in a strangling position. "Son of a bitch" Nick said, finally realizing what the statue really was. Nick set the whiskey barrel on the ground and pulled out his powerfists, all while keeping his eyes on the weeping angel.

Then, he punched the weeping angel with both hands, one on each side of the weeping angel. Nick felt the impacts and when he pulled his fists away, he saw that the statue was completely unscathed. He looked at his powerfists and watched as they fell apart, almost cartoonishly.

Nick checked his peripherals for anyone to help him but only found ponies too far away to help. "Damn. Looks like a staring contest until somepony gets close enough."

Minutes Later

Nick blinked and found his hands gripped by a weeping angel. "Shiiiit." Seconds later, Tran walked by. "Traaaaaaaaaan!" Nick yelled while kicking one of his shoes over at Tran. The shoe got his attention all right. It kinda hit him in the neck. Well, that was one way to get his attention... And anger him.

Tran instantly disappeared. One second he was there. The next, he wasn't. "Huh. I didn't think I'd actually hit him with the shoe. So either I hit him with a shoe and he left me to the weeping angel or sentenced me to death via Asian. Either way, I'm fucked."

Nick felt someone tap his shoulder and jumped at the slight disruption. In doing so, he looked away from the statue. "Why in the world did you hit me with a shoe?" Tran asked.

"I was just trying to get your attention. There's a weeping angel holding onto my arms!" Nick replied.

"What weeping angel?" Tran asked.

"What?!" Nick exclaimed. He looked back to where the weeping angel was and indeed, there was none.

"What were you doing here, anyways?" Tran asked.

"I was transporting my weekly refill of whiskey home and suddenly, there was this stupid statue" Nick explained. "It disappeared every time I blinked or looked away from it."

"What whiskey?" Tran asked.

Nick searched the ground for his beloved wood barrel and indeed, it was also gone. He fell down to his knees and screamed. "Noooooo!"

"I think you need to lay off the whiskey" Tran said.

"I swear, Tran, I'm sober" Nick said.

"Then where is this weeping angel that you speak of?" Tran asked.

"It just stole mah whiskey, Tran" Nick said.

"Why would a weeping angel steal whiskey? I'm pretty sure they don't exist in Equestria and they don't feed off of whiskey" Tran said.

"It stole it to spite me!" Nick said. "I insulted it, a great many times!"

Tran blinked. "I think I'll take my leave now" Tran said. He started to walk away and Nick looked away for a second. When he looked back at Tran, he noticed that Tran was now carrying a very familiar wood barrel.

"No whiskey..." Nick said silently with angry intent. He knew that he had no chance but he could at least still be angry about it. When he turned around to walk away, he found himself facing the same weeping angel. It was once again covering its eyes with its hooves and wings. Nick kept his eyes on the statue. "Tran, it's here!"

Nick felt something tap his shoulder again. This time, he didn't jump nor move his gaze from the weeping angel. "What now?" Tran asked.

"Here it is!" Nick said.

"What is here?" Tran asked.

"Don't play this game with me, Tran. I know you can see it!" Nick yelled.

Tran looked at the statue. "So, it's just a statue. How does that make it a weeping angel? If I remember correctly, weeping angels are statues of people, not ponies."

"Ponies are people in this world, Tran" Nick countered.

"Does it have your whiskey too?" Tran asked.

"No, but speaking of weeping angels. Have you ever talked with Time Turner?" Nick asked.

"Who?" Tran asked. After a second, he realized what Nick meant. "You mean Doctor Whooves?"

"Yes..." Nick said. "Can you destroy this statue now?"

"But that's destruction of property" Tran said.

"Weeping angels are people too" Nick said.

"Wait, so if weeping angels are people too, then you're telling me to commit murder for no reason" Tran said.

"It's not murder, it's justice!" Nick said.

"Riiiight. I'll just take my leave again" Tran said as he started walking away. Nick kept both of his eyes on the statue. "Oh hey, a free barrel of whiskey!"

Nick's head shot to face Tran. "My whiskey!!!" Nick yelled.

Tran looked back at Nick and noticed one thing. "Why are you only wearing underwear right now. Where is the rest of your cloths?" Tran asked.

Nick looked down at himself and indeed, his cloths was missing. "Fuck it. I quit!" Nick said while continuing his walk.

At this point, Tran started laughing. "I think that's enough. What do you think?" Tran said.

"Wait, were you fucking with me this whole time?" Nick asked. "It was a fake statue this whole time?!" While yelling the previous statement, he punched a nearby mailbox with incredible anger.

Somewhere in the Airspace Above Ponyville

A griffon spy hid among the clouds, watching the populace of Ponyville. His main task was to gather intel on Equestria's military capabilities and the humans.

That was, until he was hit in the head by a random flying mailbox. The mailbox knocked him off of the cloud and into the view of Ponyville's defense force and military base...

-X-X-X-

"I hope the owner has Nick insurance" Tran said. "By the way, that statue really was a weeping angel."

"Wot?" Nick said.

"Turn around" Tran said.

Nick did as Tran said and found himself facing the weeping angel again. The weeping angel was now wearing a chalkboard. 'I don't like you' the chalkboard said. In front of the weeping angel's feet, there was his clothing.

"I'm gonna call him Bob" Tran said.

"You're just going to call the most dangerous being in the universe, Bob?" Nick said, staring at Tran like he was crazy... Well, he was crazy. In this sense, Nick meant crazier than usual. "Sounds about right." He collected his things and started walking, despite only wearing his underwear. "Wait, where's my whiskey?"

"Bob still has it. Good trying to take it" Tran said.

Nick looked at the statue and found that it was now holding the barrel of whiskey. "He can keep it" Nick said while he started walking away again.

Tran looked back at Bob. On the chalkboard was another message. 'I like the name.'

-X-X-X-

She and he traded glances each other. Both of them stood still waiting for the other to make a move. These two were very capable fighters and were locked in battle. Staring at each other, they waited for the other to moving. A good defense was the best offense after all.

He was standing with his feet shoulder-length apart, the left foot in front of the right. His left arm was partially extended outward with the hand showing the palm open and facing upwards, ready to catch any attack. The right arm was mostly pulled close to his chest and the hand was closed in a fist, ready to strike. It was a common and basic fighting stance but it was very effective. There was a reason why it was common, everyone loved it.

She was, despite being a quadrupedal pony, standing like a bipedal creature and it was a very contrast as to how he was standing. Wherever she placed her rear hooves on the ground, it was spread out to maximize balance. The right leg was ahead of the left leg, indicating that she favored her right as opposed to him who seemed to favor the left. Her right arm was extended entirely outwards while the left arm was reeled back, ready to hit. This fighting stance displayed strength and power, something that was completely unexpected from someone along the likes of her.

It was obvious that they practiced martial arts that were in different leagues when compared to each other. It was also very obvious that they were very good at what they were doing.

He immediately stepped forward and knocked away her right arm, the one she kept forward to take or deflect hits/strikes. He quickly followed up with a punch with his left arm, her primary defending trait gone. Fortunately for her, she had another arm. Using the still ready, reeled back left arm, she punched his fist away.

This left him slightly unbalanced and he unfortunately took the wrong time to attempt to rebalance himself. In doing so, it gave her enough time to pull back both arms and punch forward. Both of her hooves connected with his chest and sent him moving back.

She did not much room for the punch to gather strength and power so the two punches only left him flying back a few feet. To compensate for this, she pulled back both arms and threw out a particularly powerful double punch. Both punches held a lot of power and the right hoof was atop the left hoof but both flew at the same speed. This attack was the full-powered strikes of a very skilled iron hoof practitioner.

She made a critical error.

In doing such a powerful strike, she gave him enough time to recover and assume a proper stance. He pushed her right hoof to his right and her left hoof to his left before punching her in the chest with two short ranged fists, the left fist hitting her upper torso and the right fist hitting her stomach.

This sent her backwards with a small squeak. It was unexpected and she would definitely have to watch for that in the future.

Stepping backwards, he assumed a new stance. This stance was similar to the one he was using earlier. Now, his right foot was placed ahead of the left foot and the right arm was extended outward with hand showing the palm and the left arm was close to his chest, also with the hand showing the palm. This was primarily more of a defensive stance than an offensive one.

Instead of attacking while she was down, he let her recover. She noticed this and calmly recovered herself. She planted both legs into the ground shoulder-length apart and reeled both arms back down and low, preparing to unleash quite a bit of power into the next hit.

This time, she attacked. She stepped forward and threw both hooves forward in a very strong but slow hit. He quickly grabbed both of her arms and propelled himself up into the air before grabbing her head with his legs. She gasped as he shifted his entire body weight, sending her falling to her left.

Before they hit the ground, he pulled himself out of the mess and to his feet and she caught herself before she hit the ground. She then jumped back up to her feet and threw her a strike with her left hoof.

He easily saw the strike and directed it away before throwing his own strike, this one being a simple palm strike to her chest. What he didn't see was that the single strike that she did was merely a bait attack. She smiled and knocked his palm strike away by pounding his hand with both of her hands. She then followed up with two powerful strikes to his chest, knocking him back once again.

He grabbed his chest and smiled.

"Now that was pretty good" I said.

"Thank you" Fluttershy said. "I liked that throw of yours."

"Thank you" I said while rubbing my chest with my left hand. As I breathed, I noticed that it was rather difficult to breathe and that there was a strong throbbing pain in my chest. "I think you broke three ribs and cracked four more."

Fluttershy gasped and rushed towards me. "I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I'm sorry!" she said whiled grabbing me.

I pushed her away gently. "Easy there! It's fine. It should heal after I take off my anti-magic bracers." I lifted up my sleeves, revealing several bracers strapped to my forearms. I had created them months ago and used them to limit my strength and speed down to the before I was in Equestria. It also took away my healing powers and my ability to use magic.

I removed the bracers from my forearm and felt the pain in my chest disappear as my ribs regenerated. "You need to kick more" I said.

She looked at me, confused as to why I said that. "But I practice Iron Hoof" Fluttershy said. Iron Hoof didn't really involve kicks. Actually, it didn't involve kicks at all. There's a reason why it had that name.

"But kicking people is fun" I said. Fluttershy frowned. "Tell me about your master." Instead of frowning more, she adopted a new look. This one was filled with sadness and a small amount of hate. This surprised me considering it was Fluttershy. She never harbored hate towards anything! Well, other than those that hurts animals for no good reason.

Then she finally spoke. "He didn't like me when I started. He only liked teaching earth ponies. He said 'Only earth ponies can learn Iron Hoof, not some scrawny pegasus that can barely fly.' After my dad pestered him for a year, he finally caved in."

"Your dad?" I asked.

"Mom always felt that I was too weak to uphold the family so my dad tried to help as much as he could" Fluttershy said, looking at the ground. I started scratching her head. She looked up at me and smiled.

"So you're a pegasus who knows an earth pony martial art?" I asked.

Her expression changed to one that had the slightest twinge of pride. "The one and only" Fluttershy said with a very Rainbow Dash-like smile.  

"So you're master hated you but taught you one of the only existing Equestrian martial arts?"

She smiled. "I believed I warmed up to him" Fluttershy said. "He was a sucker for my tea." With that last statement, she let out a slight giggle.

"You still need to kick more" I said.

Fluttershy frowned at me again.

-X-X-X-

I stood outside of the CMC's high school, waiting for the bell to ring like I did every day. Other ponies waited for their own children, whether they were in the Equestrian version of a car, wagon, or were standing.

When the bell finally range, fillies and colts filed out of the various school buildings and to their parents. For the first few minutes, none of the five crusaders appeared. I waited and waited and waited and waited until I turned around to see all five of them ready to pounce me.

Apple Bloom was the one leading the five of them and she was also the first to speak. "Eight and a half feet away! That's a new record!" she exclaimed.

I face palmed and started walking away, the five of them following forth.

-X-X-X-

I looked off in the distance while I ignored the panicked screams of Roseluck. Despite the fact that she was tethered to me via a climbing rig, she was clinging to my leg with every single bit of strength that she could muster. To my left and right were the various members of the CMC. All five of them were goggles and climbing harnesses. Once again, we had climbed up to the summit of a mountain again but this time, the plans had been altered slightly.

Roseluck, who was still clinging to my leg, opened her eyes to look at me. "Why do I keep agreeing to this!?" she screamed. I smiled and jumped off of the nearest cliff edge. Immediately after jumping, a parachute deployed from my backpack and slowed my descent.



I looked up and the other five of the crusaders followed suite, Scootaloo leading them all.

Roseluck's grip on my leg grew tighter and she started screaming even louder. I simply smiled and grabbed my parachutes guide ropes. "Why do I keep agreeing to do this with you?!!" Roseluck questioned herself.

I laughed and gave her what I thought to be the answer. "Because you have nothing better to do!"

-X-X-X-

I sat down on a couch inside of my home, Roseluck still attached to my leg. A few seconds later, I the crusaders joined me on the couch. All of us were covered in tree sap and pine needles. Roseluck specifically was probably glued to my leg for the time being.

"Okay" I said, completely unaffected by my current status.