We had immediately continued on with training our units(platoon in my case). The others were off with their units doing whatever they decided they wanted to do. My platoon was currently standing in front of me, waiting for my next action. We were currently in an open field that bordered a nearby forest. I think I have an idea of what to teach them.

"I think it's time to teach you how to fight with you're hooves" I said. The stallions in front of me started cheering. Oh I'm going to have so much fun. "Our first lesson is going to be... How to breathe."

Everyone immediately started groaning. One of my trainees, Pestilence, stepped up. "Sir, I think we know how to breathe. Sir." Pestilence said.

"Oh? You do?" I asked.

"Yes sir."

"I believe I am your trainer slash platoon's leader. If you question me, that means you believe that you are better in me. Are you a better than me?"

"No sir" Pestilence said.

"Then why are you questioning me?" I asked.

"Sir, I believe that we know how to breathe. Sir" Pestilence said.

"No you don't. Everything you know about fighting is wrong. If you want to question me, fight me" I said. "In fact, I have some students who follow my lessons to the word and I think they can take you down." I smiled. My smile grew bigger. "And stop calling me sir, I'm not a damn officer."

-X-X-X-

I had retrieved the five crusaders and brought them back to where my platoon was. It was a good thing today was Saturday. "Say hello to my students" I said, motioning towards the crusaders.

"Pestilence, get over here" I said. The stallion in question trotted up to me and stood at attention.

"Yes si- chief" Pestilence said.

"I'll let that one go" I said. "Sweetie Belle, step forward." She walked up to my side. Her horn barely reached my knee cap. "Pestilence, I want you to fight her." I looked at Sweetie Belle. "Sweetie Belle, please hurt him" I said. Sweetie Belle smiled.

Sweetie Belle ran up to Pestilence's side and looked up at him. The adorableness! Pestilence held up his left hoof to pat Sweetie Belle's head. However, Sweetie Belle grabbed his left hoof, twisted and threw him into the crowd of my trainees. Pestilence impacted four of my trainees, knocking all four of them over. Pestilence got up from where he impacted the ground and looked at the tiny white filly that threw him.

"Rematch?" Sweetie Belle asked.

Pestilence charged at Sweetie Belle while she just stood there looking at him. Right when Pestilence reached Sweetie Belle's position, he brought up a hoof to punch her. Sweetie Belle side stepped and watched his punch go right by her. Before he could react, she jumped up and landed on his head. In an instant, she grabbed his leg with her legs and twisted left. The platoon and I watched as Pestilence was thrown to the side by Sweetie Belle again.

Before Pestilence could retaliate, Sweetie Belle got up and jumped on his back. She grabbed his back left leg and placed him in a twisted leg hold. Pestilence tried to get out of the hold but failed to do so. In a few seconds, Pestilence tapped the ground with his front left hoof, indicating that he gave up. I looked back tot he rest of the platoon and saw that they were laughing.

"Oh you think it's funny a tiny little filly beat up a fully grown stallion that's going for Equestrian special forces?" I asked. "Time for more of you to learn your own lessons." Sweetie Belle got off of Pestilence and walked back up to my side. "Rook, you're fighting Sweetie Belle. Classified, you're fighting Diamond Tiara. Top Secret, you're fighting Apple Bloom. Conquest, you're fighting Scootaloo. Flying Death, you're fighting Silver Spoon." All of them stopped laughing. "I"m serious."

-X-X-X-

My five students took a while but they defeated their opponents. This brought laughter from the other stallions so they fought them too! Hah! They didn't learn. The crusaders ended up beating up the rest of my trainees. Hah! They all lost! Even funnier was watching Blue Blood being beaten up by Sweetie Belle. It was a good thing I had taken their horns, wings, and or earth pony strength or else the crusaders could have been injured. Well, it was a low chance but I would trust my little trainees yet until they've passed. Martial arts is dangerous. I have three black belts and I'm learning six techniques and I'm saying this.

Everypony, minus the crusaders, were standing in front of me. Let's hope they've learned. "What have we learned?" I asked. All twenty-six of them were seriously in pain. It was like they were radiating their pain. They weren't showing it but it was obvious.

"Chief!" One of them called out. "We've learned not to question your word."

"Good" I said. "Since the lot of you decided to question me, I've proved that these little fillies can best all of you in mortal combat. That means all twenty-six of you are even worst than tiny little fillies. You are no longer stallions, you are now foals! Until you graduate from my training, none of you can act like men any more!" I looked at the five crusaders. "From now on, you can only do what I say or what foals can do. In fact, whenever you're outside of training, you can only speak via baby talk." All of them started complaining and grumbling. "Do you need another lesson from my five students again?!?" They all shut up. "Good. If I ever catch you drinking, speak normally, or do anything of adult capabilities, I will have your arses and all twenty-six of you will become my students' personal punching bags. Don't think I'm not going to find out if you do any adult activities." I changed my voice into my demonic, disembodied voice. "I will find out." I changed my voice back into it's usual normal form. "Any complaints." None of them spoke. I sure love cruel and unusual punishments.

We continued on with our lesson. None of them complained, spoke out, or did anything out of order. I could see why. They were scared of me. I could sense their fear.

"Now." I pulled out a piece of gum and popped it into my mouth. "If I'm not interrupted again, we can continue. Our first lesson is going to be how to breathe. No one breathes ever correctly until they're corrected or taught. Breathing is important and everyone knows why. The problem is, no one does it correctly. Everyone breathes with their mouth or their nose. They exhale and then inhale either their nose or mouth. The problem with this is how it's done. You must inhale with your nose and exhale with your mouth. If you are breathing hard, the inhale and exhale should take four seconds." I closed my eyes and did as I had just said. "Breathing this way helps you use your learns more efficiently. When you're fighting someone or if you're in combat, breathing this way helps you stay calm. It helps you control your emotions."

I spat out my gum and looked at my recruits. "I want you to do as I did. Inhale with your nose and exhale with your mouth" I said. "Practice this while I go do some errands."

-X-X-X-

I looked at Logan's snipers shooting in the range they were practicing in. They were doing pretty well but twenty-seven ponies had already dropped out. Their sniper crossbows were working well but unfortunately, the range was still lacking. I walked into the range and walked up to Logan who was watching his snipers. He was in a prone position and was looking down the range through his McMillan.

"Logan" I said.

Logan stopped looking through the McMillan's scope. "Yeah?" Logan said, looking up at me.

"I've been developing some new arrows" I replied. "Something for your snipers." I pulled some arrows/bolts out of my backpack. I held out a small quiver of the arrows/bolts in front of Logan. "Better velocity but still very quiet."

"How high?" Logan asked.

"About the speed of a 9mm" I replied. "Roughly 1200 feet per second."

Logan took one of the arrows/bolts from my hand. He looked back at his troops. "Unseen Death, get your ass over here!" Logan yelled out.

A unicorn pony got up, still holding onto his rifle, and ran over to us. "Yes sir!" he said.

Logan handed the unicorn the arrow/bolt he grabbed from me. "Take this and shoot it at the far target." The unicorn took the arrow with his magic. "The extreme skill target" Logan said. "I want you to shoot it from here."

"But that's twelve hundred yards away!" Death said.

"Just do it" Logan said. "When you adjust for distance, I want you to act like the distance is half of what it is." Logan pointed to the arrow/bolt the unicorn was holding in his magic. "That arrow you're holding is a prototype. My friend, Tran, made it."

"Yes sir" the unicorn said. The unicorn switched out the current arrow in his crossbow with the one Logan gave him. The unicorn took aim. After a few minutes of calculations and taking aim, the unicorn pulled the trigger on his T-2 crossbow. The arrow, despite hitting transonic speeds, did not create a sonic boom. After four and a half seconds of flight, the arrow hit the target. However, despite the arrow actually hitting the target, it had only struck it in the lower left corner. If it was a griffon or any other creature, it would not have killed it but only inconveniently injured whatever was the target.

"That hit low left" Logan said. "Do better next time." I looked at the target. Taking, out one of my throwing knives, I reeled my arm back and looked at Logan. "No possible way. It's impossible." I looked back at the target and threw the throwing knife. The knife heavily arced through the air as it soared towards the target. After roughly ten seconds, a cloud clang was heard, signifying that something had struck the distant target. Logan looked at me before looking down range at the target, using the scope of his McMillan. "And you did. Of course you would." I looked down range and zoomed in with my glasses. In the upper portion of the target, where the head would be, was a knife stuck in the steel target.

I looked at Logan. "Return that to me later" I said to him.

-X-X-X-

I had returned to my troops (I could still tell that they were still in pain due to having their arses handed to them by the crusaders) and they were still practicing how to breathe. The crusaders, were watching my platoon like I had asked them. All of them hadn't noticed me yet so I could have some fun.

I changed into my alicorn form and using my magic, changed the color of my mane to match Celestia's. I took flight and slowly descended in front of my platoon. Everyone immediately took a bow at the sight of me. I smiled warmly, like Celestia usually does, and gave them all a warm look. My smile grew bigger into that of the mischievous troll I was. "DID I TELL YOU TO STOP PRACTICING?!?!?" I screamed with assistance from the Royal Canterlot voice. Everyone was visibly blown back by the sheer loudness of my voice. It was pretty comical with how their mane was also blown back. "WHAT DID I SAY?!?"

Everyone ran back into position, at attention, and continued to practice breathing. God I love trolling.

-X-X-X-

It was now the afternoon and I was now sitting in my shop, watching people browse my store's inventory. On my lap was Fluffle Puff who was happily and peacefully taking a nap. Scattered around in my store were roughly forty or fifty customers. Across the store was Logan, who was showing a customer a qama short sword.

Since Logan became my apprentice, he had started working at my store for five hundred bits a week which was a pretty good pay as the average Equestrian citizen made about half that amount. Average as in a normal person on a full time wage. Funny, my store is run by two people, it's a small business, and I use no advertisements and yet I run one of the most successful businesses in Equestria. At first, I though that setting up a weapons store in the supposedly peaceful Equestria but it turns out that they love weapons as much as the US(has the highest gun ownership in the world with a total of 88.8 privately owned guns per 100 US citizens which is really high as Serbia, the country with the second highest gun ownership, is at 58.2 privately guns per 100 Serbian citizens). Gotta love irony!

I pulled out my M4a1 carbine(remember, it's a carbine, not an assault rifle) and looked it over. She could use a good cleaning. I started taking her apart by unloading her and unchambering the round that was loaded in her already. Then I disconnected the lower receiver from the upper receiver. Pulling out a flashlight, I started to check her over. Clean bolt. Firing Pin is perfect. Buffer spring and tube in perfect shape. Hammer's good. Barrel is clean. Sights are sighted. Everything is just about perfect. Rail gun modification is in one hundred percent working condition. I reassembled, reloaded, and then placed her back in my inventory.

Still bored. I pulled out my Remington 870 and checked her over. Nothing wrong with it. Just your average Remington 870 Super Magnum with a rail gun modification. OH yeah, I forgot to tell you about that. I had converted the rest of our weapons into rail gun firearm hybrids and further developed the design of the modification. Now, the mods could be switched off via a wireless switch. Also, holy mother of god my 870 was powerful after I upgraded it. Seriously, the 3.5 inch shells it fired had more than three times the power of a fifty cal. It's the only gun in my arsenal along with my friend's arsenals that recoils enough for me to actually actually affect me. Heck, it even affects Nick and he all Nick and Nick and Nick.

I racked the pump a few times before I reloaded her. Gotta love a good shotgun every now and then. Out of nowhere, the front bursts burst open and Rainbow Dash flew in. She immediately crashed into a set of armor, alerting everyone in the store and waking up Fluffle Puff. What the heck RD? You don't just wake up a Fluffle Puff. She scampered off to nap elsewhere.

"Hey Tran, can I borrow your copy of Daring Do and the Ring of Destiny?" Rainbow Dash asked while getting up from the armor stand she knocked over.

I walked over to her and set the stand back up. "No" I replied. "You just have to wait two months like everyone else." Ever since I was given that early edition of Daring's new book, Rainbow Dash had been pestering me about borrowing it.

"Come on! We're friends here" Rainbow Dash said.

"Really now?" I asked. "I thought real friends don't hustle each other for their possessions." I stared blankly at her. "Nah, I'm just messing with you. I always do that with the others but seriously, you're not getting the new Daring Do book from me."

Rainbow Dash grumbled and started making her way towards the door. As she walked out the door, Daring Do in her disguise walked in. Every since our adventure, I just had to improve her disguise. Seriously, her original disguise was completely ridikulus. Her current disguise, instead of the previous cloak, now composed with a pair of pants and a jacket that had holes in the sides for her wings. What I like the most was that her jacket was forest camouflaged like my BDU. Her grey scale mane was hidden by a baseball cap. She also no longer wore glasses. "Hi Tran, how's it going?" she asked.

"Good. Just running my store" I replied. "You, DD?"

"Eh. I have nothing to do. No adventures. no new relics have come up. Nothing special" Daring Do replied.

"Eh. Today's been pretty mellow so far" I said. "What could possibly go wrong?"

-X-X-X-

Andy looked up from the cake he was making. "Why do I feel like someone is slapping my ideals in the face?" Andy said. Out of nowhere, a flowerpot fell on his head and knocked him to the floor. "What the hell?!?" Then another flowerpot fell on his head as he lied on the ground. "I'm indoors!" Indeed, Andy was indoors. To be more specific, he was inside his box on the second floor. When he looked up, all he saw was the ceiling. Then a flowerpot hit the back of his head.

-X-X-X-

I looked back at Daring Do. "Why does it feel like I tempted God?" I asked. "Eh." I racked the pump to my 870.

"It's just a myth that something bad will happen" Daring Do said. "What could possibly go wrong. How bad could it be? Could it get any worse? It's not like anything bad will happen. It's quiet, too quiet."

-X-X-X-

Andy looked up again. "What does it feel like someone is now punching my ideals in the face?" Andy said. He looked around, expecting a flowerpot to land on his head. Nothing happened. "Thank God."

Andy continued from where he left off. He went back to his kitchen and started mixing in several ingredients. Out of nowhere, a flowerpot landed in his mixing bowl. "MOTHERFU-" A flowerpot interrupted him by falling on his head and knocking him unconscious.

-X-X-X-

"Excuse me." I looked up and saw Derpy with a small blue cap and pair of mail saddlebags. Behind her was a small unicorn, Dinky Hooves, who was attempting to hide behind her mothers left hind leg. Oh god the adorable.

"Oh. Hi Derpy. How's it going?" I asked.

"Bad. My babysitter moved to Manehattan" Derpy said.

"And you want me to watch her?" I asked.

"Yes. Would you?" Derpy replied.

"Sure" I said.

Derpy turned to face Dinky. "Muffin, please listen to Tran, okay? I'll be here to pick you up in a bit" Derpy said. She planted a small kiss on her forehead and walked out the door. This revealed Dinky's full appearance. On her sides were small and adorable set of saddlebags. Both ends of the saddlebags appeared to be filled with what looked like books.

"Well hello Dinky. I'm Tran" I said.

"Hello" she said in a soft voice. Looks like we have a rival to Fluttershy.

I placed my 870 on the counter. "Do you have any questions?" I asked. She stayed silent. "I see that you like to read. What do you like to read?"

"Actions" she replied in the same quiet voice. That's odd. She likes actions?!? Really?

"What's your favorite?" I asked.

"Daring Do" she replied again. She opened up her saddle bags and took out two books, both of them being part of the Daring Do series.

"Ah. You're a Daring Do fan huh? Have you read the new book yet?" I asked.

"No. It doesn't come out for another two months" Dinky said back. "I can't wait for it!" she nearly shouted but she blushed and shrunk back down.

I laughed."Ah Daring Do. You know she's a friend of mine, right?" I looked back to Daring Do who was still disguised as AK Yearling. She let out a giggle as she listened to us.

"What? She's not real" Dinky said.

Without turning my head, I looked at Daring again. Right now I was struggling not to laugh. "Oh really now? Would you like to meet her?"

"You're just treating me like a kid like everyone else" Dinky said. Hmm. She's like that. A child who wants to be treated like an adult despite their age. Shy yet smart.

I looked at Daring Do. She nodded. She hovered over to my side behind the counter. "Hi there Dinky, my name is Daring Do" DD said. "Could you bring her over the counter so no one can see me?" I leaned over the counter and picked her up. I placed her between DD and I. Then Daring Do took off the baseball cap and jacket, revealing her true appearance.

Dinky dropped both of her books. "I thought you weren't real!" she quietly yelled out. Exactly how did she quietly yelled? "You're supposed to be made up by AK Yearling!"

"Kid, I am AK Yearling. It's a pen name I use so that people don't bother me" Daring Do said. "I am technically a celebrity." Thank goodness that I had decided to make the store counters three and a half feet tall when I was building them. They did a good job hiding her from the customers. "I wouldn't be able to go on any of my adventures if everyone followed me everywhere I went (exactly what happened in the Daring Don't episode)."

"How do you know Tran?" Dinky asked in her quiet/shy voice.

"He's my sidekick" Daring replied. I dropped my smile and gave Daring a flat look. "I mean, he's my partner." I still gave her the flat look.

"Really?" Dinky asked, looking at me. I reached into my backpack and pulled out the early edition of the new Daring Do novel that she had given me. I handed it to Dinky. She immediately adopted a look of surprise.

"Is she still alive?" Daring asked. She had redonned her disguise and was looking at Dinky who was still in the exact same position after I handed her the novel.

I just looked at her. "Maybe" I replied. "You can keep it. I'm not really a fan of reading adventure books."

Immediately, Dinky broke out of her stupor and started jumping up and down. "Oh thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.Thank you.Thank you." She continued her rant for a few minutes before she stopped.

I just laughed and continued watching the customers. "Remember kid" Daring Do said, "Keep this a secret. I don't want anyone knowing that I'm in Ponyville or that I'm Daring Do and definitely don't give that early edition to anyone else."

"I promise, Daring Do" Dinky said with smile. Oh god the adorableness.

Something soft hit my head and nearly knocked me over but I was able to recover in time. I think I know who just tackled my head. I picked up the culprit and placed her in front of Dinky. Like I had thought, it was Fluffle Puff. Smiling, I picked up Dinky and placed her on Fluffle Puff. Fluffle Puff, in response, blew a raspberry.

"She's so fluffy!" Dinky said. More adorablenessnessnessnessnessness!

-X-X-X-

"Is that full tang?" an earth pony in front of me asked, pointing at a kampilan.

I removed the sword from its display case. "Yes it is" I said, handing it to him.

He grabbed the sword in one of his hooves (I will never understand how hooves work, even if I know everything) and drew it. Then, he started to swing it around. "Blade strength?"

"Hand forged Damascus steel with durability enchantment."

"How much?"

"Two hundred and fifty bits."

"Hmm. Deal." He paid. He started to swing the sword around more then assumed a familiar stance. It was kenjutsu.

"Where did you learn that stance?" I asked him.

He stopped and looked at me. "Ken whatty now?" he asked.

"Kenjutsu. That stance you assumed was Kenjutsu. To be more specific, it was Tenshin Shoden Katori Shinto ryu. Where. Did. You. Learn. It?" I had my left hand on the Sparda.

"Kutabare" he said. He dashed forward and attempted to slice me with the Kampilan. I drew the Sparda and blocked the slash before striking with the scabbard. He blocked it with the scabbard. WHAT?!?

I disengaged and jumped over the counter and my 870 on it. Both of us traded glances before rushing forward at the same time. We swung our swords at the same time and blocked each other's slashes. I brought up the scabbard and attempted to sweep his legs but he jumped up and dodged it. I jumped up myself and dropped kicked him with both legs. He bent backwards, dodging the kick. Recovering, he attempted to strike (not punch, he was actually striking) my chest but I grabbed it and attempted to break his hoof by twist bending it. He countered by jumping through moving where I twisted his hoof. While he was flying, I swung with my sword.

Again, he blocked with his/my sword.  He dashed forward and tried to buck me but I dodged. Unfortunately, that left me open long enough for him to attempt to grab me. Instead, he grabbed a hoof full (how in the 'ell does hooves work?!?) of my many layers of clothing. He pulled forward and attempted to bring me closer in to him. I dropped down and slid out of my robes and jackets, leaving me only wearing my usual white button up shirts. I looked at the three layers of clothing in his hooves and he looked at me. "Okay." He dropped my clothes and faced me.

I heard foot steps. Both of us turned towards the source and saw Daring Do with a crossbow. "NO!" I yelled out. I turned back to face the stallion and bowed.

He bowed back. "I see that you prefer an honorable fight" he said.

I attempted to kick him but he sidestepped. As he recovered from the sidestep, I swept his legs and knocked him to the ground. While on the ground, he grabbed my head with his back legs and attempted to throw me by leveraging his weight in my opposite direction. I smiled. I knew that move very well and it was one of my favorites. I swung with the Sparda and caught his left hind leg. It was severed at knee where it bent. He screamed in agony as his leg bled and stained me robes.

"Can't counter that, can you?" I said. "Can't counter this either." I pulled out Yin and double tapped his head.

I holstered Yin and sheathed the Sparda in its scabbard. "What the hell was that?" I turned to face Logan.

"Some damn pony that attacked me" I replied. "For some reason he knew Kenjutsu and was able to keep up with fighting me."

"A pony that could keep up with you in martial arts" Logan said. "Now that is surprising."

A loud crash was heard. Logan and I looked at where it originated. A destroyed display cabinet. To be more specific. A destroyed reinforced, enchanted, and bulletproof display cabinet. How? Something tackled Logan down. I immediately shot it with Yin several times, blowing it apart. I walked over and helped him up.

"What the fuck was that?!?" Logan exclaimed.

I picked up the head of whatever I blew apart. It looked a lot like a gargoyle's head made real. "It was a vampire" I said.

"That wasn't a damn vampire! Look at the thing's head you're holding!" Logan said.

It had elongated ears, enlarged teeth obviously made for a carnivore, no hair, and its skin was pale grey. "It's a feral vampire. It's the result of a normal vampire being starved of blood for too long. No intelligence, sapience, or sentience. However, they have the super speed, strength, endurance, and durability." I explained. "It does not think. It is simply an animal now. A zombie on steroids as I would say. The only difference is that it can't turn anything else into a vampire anymore."

"How do you kill it?" Logan asked.

"How you usual kill a normal vampire" I replied. "Rip of its head, silver bullets, or use a stake. Sunlight, holy water, and crosses don't work though. That's simply a myth."

"Then how the hell are we going to kill a bunch of damn vampires?!?" Logan asked.

"Well, you can supposedly only kill vampires with a silver bullet or a stake but I found another method of killing them" I said.

"What?" Logan said.

"If you rip it to pieces" I replied. I racked the slide of Yin to emphasize the point. I holstered her back in its spot next to Yang. I walked back to the counter to pick up my 870. As I did this, the shotgun went off and nearly blasted me in the chest if it wasn't for the fact that it was aimed away from me. I examined my shotgun and noticed that the trigger had a dull grey aura covering it. I picked up the shotgun and looked over the counter. I saw Dinky and her horn was glowing. "Don't worry" I said. "It's gone."

"W-Why is there a vampire?" Dinky asked.

"I don't know. We're going to have to investigate but I can't leave you here" I said. I picked her up and carried her over to my jackets. I took my robes out of the pile and handed it to her. "Put this one."

She took it and adorned it. "It's too big" Dinky said. Indeed it was. It was made for my size after all and she is a small filly. I snapped my fingers and the robe was instantly shrunken down to fit her.

"That is my personal robes. They're incredibly durable and as long as you're wearing it, you should be safe" I explained. "I made and enchanted it myself."

I picked up the last two jackets, one my zip up fleece coat/jacket and the other being my BDU. I tossed the BDU to Daring and the jacket to Logan. "Put them on, you guys are going to need it."

"I already have a Nanosuit" Logan said.

"Feral vampires have a bite force rivaling that of a great white shark" I said back.

"And jacket on" Logan said, putting the fleece on.

Daring did the same. "Give me a weapon" she said. I handed her my energy sword. "How the hell does this work?!?" I pointed at a switch and then flipped it, eliciting the plasma blade. She blushed slightly.

"Who are you anyways?" Logan asked. Oh yeah, that's right. He doesn't know that she's Daring Do and she's still in disguise.

"Just a friend of Tran's" Daring replied. "A violent friend." She swung the energy blade for emphasis.

"I like you" Logan said with a laugh.

I looked back to Dinky. "Dinky, hold still." I picked her up and placed her in my backpack. Instead of placing her in the pocket universe in my backpack, I placed her in one of the extra areas of the backpack that was empty. She was small enough to fit inside but big enough to have her head peaking out. I picked up the backpack and donned it.

"You know Tran, I've never seen you without your many jackets before" Logan said. "It's strange." He walked back to where he was previously standing to sell weapons. He reached over the counter and picked up his messenger bag. From it, he pulled out his AR10 and racked the charging handle a few times.

The four of us stepped out of the store and destruction and chaos wracked our vision. Screams of death filled the air. Ponies around were dying. Even worse, random creatures were running around, causing death. I recognized most of them as they were from many of the different universe I've been to. Others were complete strangers to me. What was going on?

"Tran!" I turned. It was Doctor Whooves.

"Doctor! What the 'ell is going on?!?" I said.

"Someone left too many tears in the god damn multiverse. Our universe is melding itself with another!" Dr. Whooves explained.

"Tran, what the hell did you do?!?" Logan yelled at me.

"It couldn't possibly be done by Tran. This amount of idiocy can only be caused by a bloody idiot with crude space time vessel" Doctor Whooves said.

"A crude space time vessel?" I asked. "That means there's another traveler in Equestria."

"An amateur" Doctor Whooves and I said simultaneously.

"How dangerous can he possibly be?" Daring Do asked.

"Think of it like this. I'm a traveler and you've read the book about me. The doctor here is a traveler and he's caused the death of possibly millions of different creatures in different universes" I explained. "Travelers have to be well prepared for the dangers of other universes."

A loud roar emanated from the north. Whatever it was, it was coming towards us. Three of us immediately readied our weapons and waited.

"A fucking tank?!?" Logan yelled out. Both of us open fired on the tank. After a few seconds of constant gunfire, it fell to the ground, torn to pieces. "Thank god for you rail gun mods or else we would have had to fight that thing forever."

More roars came from the town. "I don't think that was the only tank" I said.

Elsewhere

Andy looked at the Tank that was running at him. Currently, the large zombie was a few hundred yards away from him. In Andy's hands was his modified KRISS Vector. "I think this is enough to take that tank down with my brother's rail gun modification. Though when I think about it, I'm monologuing, I have horrible bad luck, life hates me, and whenever I say "I think I can do something or is true", I usually fail or am wrong. Wait a minute, while I was monologuing, shouldn't I have been shooting the tank?" Andy looked up just as the tank got within punching distance of him. "And nope." Andy turned around and started running. "Nope, nope, nope, nope, nope." Andy continued screaming "nope" as he ran away from the tank. Usually, tanks ran faster than people but Andy had put on his armor that continued his Mario World badges that augmented his abilities, including his running speed. "Nope, nope, nope, nope, nope, nope-" He turned around while he was running and started to fire at the Tank with his KRISS Vector. Andy quickly expended all thirty rounds, reloaded, before starting to fire again. Halfway through the current mag inside his KRISS Vector, the tank fell over, dead. "Fucking bad luck."

-X-X-X-

I looked at my Remington 870. Then I looked up. A giant horde of zombies. I looked back down. Remington 870. I looked to my left. Logan with his AR10. I looked right. Daring Do. I looked back forward. These zombies had bright, glowing red eyes and flying in the air around them were bees. Queen bees to be exact. These were from the dead rising universe. Got dang it.

I placed my Remington 870 in my inventory and pulled out my AA12. I racked back the charging handle. "Kill them before they kill us" I said. I took aim and fired. The electrically charged 3 inch magnum twelve gauge buckshot rounds tore through their rotted bodies easily, killing hundreds of them in seconds while Logan's charged 7.62 nato rounds did similar results but on a lesser scale as my rounds were spread out. As Logan and I easily slaughtered them, more came to replaced them.

Both of us stopped firing and looked at the hoard. "Why aren't they doing anything?" Logan said.

My left ear twitched. "Cause it's not us they're after" I replied. I looked at the ground.

"What?" Daring said. The ground started rumbling giving a similar sensation of an earthquake. Then it stopped. "Huh?" Something big came out of the ground where the horde was.

"The Nexus" I said. "The Nexus is here."

"The what?" Logan said.

"Probably one of the most dangerous necromorphs in existence" I replied.

"It's from the Dead Space universe" Logan said. "Of course it is." It fell over dead, cut into hundreds of pieces.

Logan looked over at me and saw me holding the Sparda. It's twenty-eight inch blade was covered in blood. "What?" I asked.

"You probably made that into one of the most anti-climatic fights we could have possibly had" Logan said.

"Eh. Climatic battles are overrated" Daring Do said.

"Eeyup" I added in. "Who is causing all of this to happen?" A necromorph burst from the ground but quickly died as I stomped on it.

"Hey!" I looked at who said that. A short man was standing on one of the local houses. He was roughly five foot four and I could see that he was heavily armed and armored. "What the hell are you two doing in this universe?" He jumped off from the roof of the house and landed on the ground in front of us. Now I could get a closer look at his weapons and armor. He was simply wearing a pair of jeans and a white t-shirt. On his back were two sheaths that each held a silver gleaming long sword. Slung over the swords were a large pair of large rifle like weapons. Both of them, I recognized. One was a seeker from the Dead Space universe, a powerful sniper rifle that fired rounds that rivaled the power of a .458 Lott round. The other was a VC-5 Arc Rifle, an experimental weapon from the Killzone universe that fired lightning like Ike's Wunderwaffe DG-3 JZ. On his hip was a small 9mm pistol from the Turok universe.

"What I the bloody hell have you been doing? You've been leaving dimensional holes in the multiverse!" Doctor Whooves said.

"Do you know how hard it is to time travel and answer my question!" he said back.

"It's not difficult at all. I'm a damn time lord!" Doctor who replied.

"I'm just the devil so that's my reason" I replied.

The strange man took out a pair of goggles and put them on. Almost immediately, he reeled back. "You're Tran!" he exclaimed. "You have a 9.7 trillion cell bounty on your head!" He smiled. "That could let a few hundred people live in high class for a few millenia."

"I heard that!" I yelled at him. "Go ahead and try!"

"Gladly" he replied.

He drew both swords and went in for a forward slash. I watched him and waited. *Sidestep* I watched as he ran by me. *CRASH* He crashed into a giant boulder (sorry Tom) that we had been standing in front of. "You know that blindly charging into a battle or a fight is a really stupid idea and I use the adjective 'stupid' sparingly" I said to him. He jumped up from where he laid on the ground and started out with a slash from both swords. I easily blocked both swords with the Sparda. "Horrible form and you wasted two attacks in an effort to attack me with power." He attempted to disengage from me by kicking me off with his left foot. I simply dodged and struck him in the punch with a pointed finger strike over the left lung. This sent him into a coughing fit. "Much too sloppy. When you tried that, you left yourself open wide."

He roared in anger and slashed with his left handed long sword. I deflected the sword as he slashed with the other sword. I drew the Axe of Perun and caught the blade of his right sword. "You attack with little care with the accuracy of your hits. Your sword fighting isn't that of a martial artist or a samurai. You have been taught by someone by... A traditional elite knight. That or a really LARPer. Might I ask for your name?"

"Brandon Woods."

I dropped both weapon holds and dropped kicked him in the chest. He was sent back while I landed back on my feet. "You also attack only with swords. You don't make use of your other limbs. You are also wielding two long swords. Both weapons are heavy and slow to use. They can't attack with speed, making it easier for an agile opponent to dodge, block, or counter your attacks. The fact that you decided to use two makes it slower. Your technique would work well if you were fighting against a knight, but it would fail if you fight someone who is trained in kendo or kenjutsu."

"I was taught by one of the best dragon sword fighters in the universe!" he yelled out.

"And I have three black belts, knowledge of half a dozen other martial arts, and I'm a devil. You're point?" I said in reply. "And dragons are horrible fighters. They often rely on brute strength."

He growled and drew the pistol by his side. "Will you just die already!" He started firing the pistol in rapid succession. I sighed and started deflecting the rounds out of the air with the Sparda. After he fired fifteen rounds, he dropped the pistol. He pulled the seeker rifle off of his back and took aim at me. Now that is getting a bit too much. I drew Yin and Yang.

He fired the first round and my perception of time slowed down like usual. I took aim at his bullet's path with Yin and fired. A spark appeared in the air where his bullet once flew. He fired again and I shot his bullet out of the air again. I popped my neck and fired another round from Yin. This time, the bullet flew through the air before impacting his seeker rifle, exactly where the action was. The overcharged .460 Rowland round easily tore through the sniper rifle, destroying it in the process. "There is a reason why the bounty is at 9.7 trillion. I kinda have three black belts and I was one of the best shooters in my state and country. Then couple that with the fact that I have the powers of the devil."

"Tran" Nguyen said.

"What?" I said back.

"Alex has been killed in action" Nguyen said. "Applejack has now been killed in action."

I stopped chewing my gum. "What?"

-X-X-X-

Alex sprinted with Applejack on his back as bullets flew by him. It was a good thing the two of them were at Sweet Apple Acres as the trees offered amazing cover. "Where in the hell did that thing come from?!?" Alex peeked over from his cover.

It aimed its left arm at Alex. Unfortunately for Alex, that arm had a grenade launcher mounted under it. "Oh fuck!" The terminator fired as Alex ducked behind cover. The HE 40mm easily demolished the tree Alex was hiding behind. To make matters worse, Alex wasn't wearing his armor. To make that even worse, without his armor, Alex was basically a normal human being. Like Andy, his armor would augment his abilities.

"Where in Celestia did dat thing come from?!?" Applejack screamed out.

"I have no fucking idea!" To make matters worse for Alex, he only had his Walther P88 on him. He hadn't been carrying his Desert Eagles as he stopped carrying them due to their bulky size. The only thing that was going good for him so far was that his Walther P88 had the rail gun modification Tran had invented. "Fucking hell. Fuck! A fucking T-600 from the Terminator world? Really? A damn minigun and grenade launcher too? FUCK!" He leaned out of his cover and fired seven rounds at the T-600. The electrically charged 9mm were barely enough to pierce the T-600's armor, dealing some decent amount of damage to the machine.

Alex ducked behind cover as the T-600 fired at him with its minigun arm. Alex waited for it to stop firing before coming out of his cover to shoot at it again. He fired ten rounds before eh ducked back behind cover to reload. Alex quickly reloaded and checked how much ammo he had left. Two mags left, including the one that was currently loaded inside his pistol.

Thank goodness he was behind a really big tree or else the T-600's minigun would have already torn the tree to bits. Alex heard the T-600 walk towards his current position. Then the tree he was behind was knocked over. Alex quickly scrambled away from the tree but fell down in the process. Alex, while on the ground, turned around to look at where the T-600 was, only to see the muzzle of its minigun. "Fuck."

Then the T-600 was sent flying forward, past Alex. "Wooo ee! That felt like bucking a brick wall!" Alex heard Applejack say. Alex looked at where the T-600 laid and fired off all fifteen rounds from his P88 into the terminator's head. Eight rounds were able to hit the robot's head. The electrically charged 9mm rounds were able to end the T-600's life.

"Oh thank god!" Alex said.

As if the universe wanted to smite the two of them, a large, obviously heavy object landed in front of them. A large dust cloud rose from where it landed. When the dust cleared, it revealed a naked Arnold Schwarzenegger. Alex easily recognized him. It wasn't the real Arnold Schwarzenegger but it was a standard T-800. Basically, it was a T-600 made much more powerful, durable, and unfortunately, more dangerous. It was a killer.

"Fu-" Alex didn't finish as the T-800 smashed its foot in Alex's face.

-X-X-X-

I stopped chewing my gum. "What?"

"Now Ike has been killed in action" Nguyen said.

-X-X-X-

Ike reloaded his Tommy gun. He aimed it forward. In front of him were a few thousand zombies, all of them from the Resident Evil universe. Ike was literally surrounded, coming from every direction. It was a losing battle. Ike fired in one direction of where the zombies were, dumping all fifty rounds in a matter of seconds. The charged .45 ACP bullets tore through hundreds of them, creating a path. Ike immediately ran through the makeshift path, running away from them.

While Ike ran, he reloaded his Tommy gun with a fresh drum magazine. Ike turned around and saw all of the zombies following them. Fortunately, they were only walking, making escape easy. Ike turned back around and continued running.

*CRASH* He had run into something. Something big.

Ike turned around as the tyrant BOW raised its clawed hand.

-X-X-X-

I turned to face Brandon. "You caused this incident, right?"

"It's hard to travel through multiple universes!" he said back.

"No it isn't. I'm only sixteen years of age and I can do it better than you" I said back. "You also led to the death of three of my friends." I dropped Yin and Yang and ran towards him. In the blink of an eye, I closed the distance between the two of us and punched him in the chest. He didn't fly back from the force of the punch as I grabbed his chest and held him in place. Before he could react, I struck him with another pointed finger strike. This time, my hand rip through his skin and entered his chest. I quickly used my hand to fill my hand with electricity, electrocuting him.  

I ripped my arm out of him before throwing him into a nearby small house, demolishing the home and burying him in the rubble. "Doctor Whooves, how do we fix this?" I asked calmly.

"Well, we have to get to his time vessel and fix whatever went wrong with it. THere's a possibility that we coul-" He was interrupted as the rubble that buried Brandon exploded outwards, creating a blanket of dust. When the dust cleared, it revealed not Brandon but a small dragon. This dragon rose up to eight and a half feet tall and sported a pair of wings on its back. It was emerald green in color and each of its hands sported sharp claws that looked like one slice could cut through a diamond. Its tail was long and serpent-like and it sported an attached blade.

"Try and kill me now" Brandon said.

"Gladly" I said back. I snapped my fingers and an aura of black magic exploded outwards, creating an aura of death. With that, the black and white colors on my body inverted and I was in my demon form. "I will gladly kill you." I held up the Sparda, which also had a black aura of death around it, in my left hand and taunted him with my right hand.

He drew his great swords (more like short swords now) and roared at me. He then dashed forward, like Rainbow Dash would, leading with the said swords and the blade on his tail. I sidestepped again and he crashed into the remains of the house that had buried him earlier. "Do you ever learn?" I asked him. He got up from the rubble and roared at me again, Then he opened his maw and started breathing fire towards me. Again, I sidestepped. "Didn't you just hear what I had just said?"

I picked up a small rock and tossed it at him. The small rock impacted him in the left eye, temporarily blinding him. Before he could recover, I ran forward and jabbed his other eye with the Sparda's scabbard. He roared back in pain. he rubbed his eyes. He soon recovered to fight again, only to be jabbed in both eyes again by my left hand's index and middle finger.

He recovered again from the eye jab to face me again. He noticed me attempt to jab my eyes again and moved out of the way. "Hah!" Brandon said. Then I jabbed him in the eyes again with my other hand.

"Hah" I said mockingly. I grabbed him by his head and slammed his face down on a rock. Before he tried to get back up, I curb stomped him. He tried to recover and stomped on his head again.

"WOULD YOU-" *CURB STOMP* "FU-" *ANOTHER CURB STOMP* "STOP THAT!!!" *ANOTHER CURB STOMP*

Wait a minute. There's still the issue of the rips and tears in the multiverse. Where is the travel device he used to get here? I pulled out Yin and Yang before taking a few steps away from him. He got up and saw me pointing Yin and Yang at him. "You are going to tell me where your multidimensional vessel is or I'm going to kill you." He roared at me. "Yeah, that roaring does not work. The only use for roaring is threaten or make some one fear you." I aimed Yang at his tail and fired. The charged .460 Black Talon hollow-point tore off a small section of his tail. "Now." A flash appeared from him and he was again in his human form.

He led Doctor Whooves, Logan, Daring Do, Dinky Hooves(she was still in my backpack), and I towards the town hall. As we walked, Nguyen had notified me that Rainbow Dash and Austin had also been killed. Then I stopped. Everyone stopped with me. "I thought you wanted me to bring you four-"

"Five" Dinky said from my backpack.

"Five of you to my machine" Brandon finished.

The town hall exploded outwards, showering everything with the rubble of the town hall. When everything settled, it revealed a giant demon. Whatever it was, it seemed angry.

The giant demon pulled out a large combat knife and threw it at us. All four (five with Dinky) of us ran out of the way. When I got back to my feet, I looked back to where the knife impacted. Logan. He was dead. Cleaved in half by the thrown blade. I looked back to the demon. I looked at my hands. They were still. Very still. I looked back to Brandon. He caused this. I will get revenge later.

"Hey you ugly piece of shit!" I heard Nick's voice say. I looked at where it came from and saw Nick covered in blood. In his hands was a minigun. The minigun quickly spoiled up and started spitting out electrically charged bullets.

I open fired with Yin and Yang while Brandon open fired with his pistol. Our bullets barely affected the demon. Even with the rail gun mod, it was futile. Why did demons have to be so powerful?!? Well, I shouldn't be saying that as I'm kinda a demon god but eh, oh well.

The giant demon pulled out a large grapple gun and took aim at Nick. "Get out of the way!" I yelled out. Nick just continued firing. The demon fired. I watched as Nick was torn in half by the grapple gun's arm.

I stopped firing and looked at Nick's corpse. "Another one down." I looked at Brandon. "Does that arc rifle work?" I asked.

"Yes. Why?" Brandon replied.

"Shoot me with it" I said back.

"Much obliged." He took the rifle off of his back and shot me with. I felt the lightning arc through my body and drive my heart into overdrive. Now most people don't enjoy getting electrocuted. In my case, I absolutely love it. It gives a nice painful jolt and to make it funner, it gives me a short term buzz of energy that was equivalent to one of my ADHD moods. However, one benefit of getting my energy through electrocution was that instead of putting making me out of control hyper, I could control myself with that amount of energy. To make things better, the stronger the shock, the more energy I'd get.

I holstered Yin and Yang before drawing the Sparda. Then I jumped up after the giant demon. I kicked it in the face and knocked it to the ground. It didn't have the time to react as I started slashing it with the Sparda. Millions of slashes hit it's face faster than the blink of an eye. Soon, its face was turned into mush.

"Now I can see why the bounty is at 9.7 trillion" Brandon said.

"You caused all of this. You will help me fix it" I said. "Now where is your time vessel?"

"It was kinda-"

"It was in the building it just destroyed, wasn't it?" I finished for him.

"Yeah."

I looked to Doctor Whooves. "Is there any other way we can fix this?"

"Well, if we can get another time vessel, maybe be can fix this" Dr Whooves replied.

I got off of the demon's slushed skull. "How about the TARDIS?" I asked Dr. Whooves.

"No. We can't. The master is trapped in there!" Dr. Whooves said.

"We can dead with him" I said.

Then something landed behind us. It created a small dust cloud upon landing. Brandon aimed at the dust cloud with his arc rifle and I used Yin and Yang. The dust cloud cleared away, revealing... DERPY?!?! "Where's my Dinky?!?" Derpy screamed out. She was covered in scratches and was holding one of my repeating crossbows.

Earlier

Derpy flew through the air, doing her usual mail rounds. 'I wonder how Dinky is doing?' Derpy thought to herself. lost in her thoughts, she crashed into somepony. "Sorry, my bad" Derpy said to the pony. She looked at whoever it was and instead of a pony, she saw a changeling. However, it wasn't any normal changeling, it had several wounds that were oozing green blood, it was missing it's left hind leg, and one of its eyes were missing.

Derpy immediately screamed as the undead changeling attempted to kill her. Derpy barely flew out of the way as the zombie changeling impacted a wall. Derpy started flying away as she still had time. When Derpy looked back, the changeling was out of her sight. "Thank Celestia" Derpy said.

"AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!" That scream came from the ground. When Derpy looked down, she saw ponies running away from strange creatures. She had never seen such creatures ever. Immediately, she hid in a cloud.

"What is happening?" Derpy said to herself. She reached into one of the pouches in her mailbag and pulled out a balisong. Derpy hoped she would never have to use the use it ever since she bought it from Tran's store. "Better to have something when you don't need it than to not have something when you need it" Derpy said to herself. She opened up the blade via a zen roll over. She laughed to herself. Ponies were a peaceful species by nature but here she was, an expert knife fighter armed with a balisong. Thank Celestia Tran had offered her lessons or else she would be left horribly unprepared.

Then Derpy adopted a look of dread as she realized something. "Dinky." She shed a few tears as she realized that there was a chance she was hurt. Even worse, she could be... No, she can't think about that. Dinky was with Tran. She'll be fine.

Derpy flew off, hoping to find her daughter.

-X-X-X-

Derpy landed on the roof of Tran's store. Nothing was nearby. Thank Celestia. She entered the store, hoping to find Tran, only to find no one. *Sigh* Derpy went to one of the locked weapon cabinets. She pulled a hair pin from her mane and picked the lock. From the weapons cabinet, she pulled out a sword and a repeating crossbow. She slung the sword over her back, being careful to avoid her wings, and grabbed an extra quiver of bolts, placing it in her mail bag.

*Growl* She turned to face it, crossbow ready. Whatever growled, it looked like one of those weird gargoyle things some nobles had on their homes/castles. She immediately fired a bolt at whatever it was. Luckily for her, the bolt hit itself in the heart and killed. it.

Then she heard gunshots. They were familiar to her as they came from sounded like from the guns Tran or his friends used. She ran out of the door and took flight towards where the gunshots came from.

-X-X-X-

"Mommy!" I heard Dinky said from my backpack. She jumped out of my backpack and ran towards her mother. Derpy dropped the crossbow and they hugged. GOD THE ADORABLE.

"Come on. We've got to go. Derpy, Dinky. Let's go. It's safe" I said. I pulled out the Sparda and slashed the air, creating a rip in the fabrics of the multiverse. I jumped through the rip. After a few minutes, I came back through the same rip. As I came back through the rip. I stuck the upper portion of my body through the rip and then pulled my head back out. "Get out of the way!" I pulled my arms out of the rip of the multiverse. With my arms, came the TARDIS. As it landed, the rip closed.

The first thing I noticed about the TARDIS was that it had a padlock on the door. "You used a padlock to hold one of the most dangerous beings in the universe?"

"Well, that's literally the only way to get inside" Dr. Whooves said.

"Good point." I walked over to the TARDIS's door and cut off the lock with the Sparda. I opened the door and entered. Like how the TARDIS usually was, it was bigger on the inside. What surprised me was that it was much bigger than the TV series portrayed. The Doctor followed, then Brandon, then Derpy, and then Dinky.

"Daring, come inside" I said.

"I don't trust it" Daring said. "Whenever I go inside a strange place I've never heard of or seen, something bad happens."

"Just come in" Dr. Whooves said.

Daring Do sighed before she walked into the door. Suddenly, her head exploded and she fell out the door. I looked forward and then felt nothing. I knew I wasn't dead, I just couldn't move or feel anything. I was also covered in a light red aura.

"Well, well, well. What do we have here?" A strange pony appeared in my vision. In his left hoof looked like Andy's laser screwdriver but much more fancy. There was a light on the laser screwdriver that was the same color as the aura that held me in place.

"Master" Dr. Whooves said.

"We don't have time for this. We've got to-" Doctor Whooves was cut off as he froze like I did, covered in the same light red aura I was covered in.

"You know, I've been trapped in here for twelve years with nothing to do" the Master continued. "And who do we have here?" He walked over to me. "I can feel the power coming off of you. You're either a very powerful demon, a minor god, or a devil."

"You can't do this!" Dinky said.

"Oh but I can. No one's here to stop me" the Master said in reply. "I've won." The master walked over to Derpy and Dinky. "Looks like I can have a little fun before I kill you all." As the Master advanced towards Dinky and Derpy, they backed away. They continued this until they were cornered next to the Doctor and Tran.

"Mommy, I'm afraid" Dinky said with a tear.

"Don't worry muffin, I know just what to do" Derpy said. She nuzzled Dinky.

"What could you possibly do?" the Master said. "How bad could it be?

-X-X-X-

Andy stopped shooting to sneezed. "Why do I feel like an antagonist is dooming himself by smiting me" Andy said. Andy continued shooting at the Left 4 Dead zombies.

-X-X-X-

"How bad could it be?" the Master said.

Derpy smiled. "Dinky, cover your ears." Dinky did as her mother told her. Derpy reached behind her and grabbed the Remington 870 off of Tran's back. "THIS BAD MOTHERBUCKER!!!" Derpy used her balisong to pull the trigger of the rail gun shotgun.

*BANG* Derpy's shot was low and it tore off the Master's four legs. The Master screamed in pain as he fell to the ground, dropping the laser screwdriver. *CHK-CHK* She fired again and the shot destroyed the laser screwdriver. The aura covering the Doctor and I disappeared and we could move again.

"Good job Derpy" I said.

"Should I shoot him again?" Derpy asked. I took the shotgun from her and slung it over my back. "No."

"Even if he's my arch-nemesis, I can't just kill him" Doctor Whooves said.

I slashed through the air with the Sparda and created another tear in the multiverse. Picking up the Master, I threw him into the tear. "He should be fine in the s9el18bk jungle universe" I said. "How do we fix this universe Doctor?"

"Follow me!" the Doctor said.

-X-X-X-

We were supposedly at the TARDIS's control console. The Doctor was furiously pressing differently colored, flashing buttons (MUST. RESIST. PUSHING!!!). "Oh bugger" the Doctor said.

"What?" I asked.

"Good news and bad news. I don't care about what you choose, I'm telling you the bad news first" the Doctor said. "We can't safely close the tears in the universe and undue the damage."

"What?!?" I screamed out.

"However, we can fix it another way. We can meld two universes together and undue the damage that way. It should be able to undue everything that went wrong with the idiot's mistake" the Doctor said, pointing at Brandon. "However, there's a 95 percent chance that we all die and destroy this universe. Then there's a 4 percent chance that it doesn't work and somehow make it worse, killing us. That last one percent is our success rate. If we do nothing, we die anyways from those creatures! So, obviously, we're going to meld our universe with a different one."

"Well everyone. Anything you want to do before we possibly die?" Brandon asked. I opened up a tear and threw him through the tear.

"He should have some fun in the desert strand universe" I said. "Anything you guys want to do before we die?"

The Doctor grabbed Derpy and locked lips with her. I blushed and covered Dinky's eyes. Still kissing. Still kissing. Still kiss- Who can hold their breathe this long?!? Then they stopped. I uncovered Dinky's eyes.

"Okay?" I said. I took out a bottle of my sake and down half of its contents. "Want some?" I said, offering the bottle to Dinky.

"Tran!" Derpy said.

"Fine!" I said. "Wait, what's Andy doing?"

-X-X-X-

Andy continued eating his BLT. The bacon was replaced with lettuce, the lettuce was replaced with tomato, and the tomato was replaced with bacon. It was an LTB. Andy looked at where he was. He was sitting on top of his brother's store. Surrounding the store was an army of zombies. Andy stood up and looked at his sandwich. "This sandwich is terrible." He threw the LBT at a zombie and it exploded. "Only me." He looked up at... me, the author? "Screw you." Out of nowhere, an anvil appeared and landed on his left foot. Inscribed on the side of the anvil was ACME(THERE WILL BE NO END PERIOD!!!)

-X-X-X-

I continued drinking from my bottle of sake. I believe this was my thrifth bottle. "Are you sure you don't want any sake?" I asked Dinky.

"Tran! She's only twelve!" Derpy said.

"And we have a 99 percent chance of dying" I said back. "And I'm only sixteen. Your point?"

The Doctor flipped a switch and everything turned white. I felt nothing. I couldn't do anything. Couldn't hear anything. It felt like bliss. This felt nice. Is this what death felt like? I like it. I really like this feeling.

"Tran!" What? Who said that? "Tran!" It sounded like... Dinky?

I slowly regained my senses. Pain. That constant pain that I was familiar with along with the injuries I gained from that strange human universe. Weight. That familiar weight of Yin and Yang holstered on the holster attached to the back of my pants and the Sparda and my backpack on my back. Clothing. My many layers of jackets. Then, something on my chest. Heavy. Not excessively heavy. Like a small child.

"Dinky?" I asked. I regained my vision and saw her sitting on my chest.

"Tran!" Dinky said. "You're alive." She nuzzled my chest. GOD THE ADORABLE!!!

"Doctor?" I said. "Derpy?" I grabbed Dinky and stood up. I looked at myself. I didn't look at myself and everything seemed normal. I could feel where my three throwing knives were. Everything was in working order. My boots and hidden blades were still on me and both were still modified with Beowulf. My glasses were still super advanced with Nguyen in them. Dinky looked like she was fine. I looked around and found Derpy and the Doctor to my left. They were unconscious like I was.

"Gunshot?" she asked with a innocent smile.

"Feeling a mischievous, aren't you?" I said back. I looked around for my Remington 870. Nothing. I checked my inventory.

1. M4a1 with M203

2. 64 150 round Armatac drum magazines

3. 64 40x53mm grenades grenades

4. Remington 870 Super Magnum

5. 64 Double Aught buckshot 3 1/2 magnum shells

6. AA-12 shotgun

7. 64 AA-12 drum magazines

8. Walther PPK

9. 64 filled Walther PPK magazines

10. 64 M67 grenades

11. 64 flashbangs

12. 64 Concussion grenades

13. Colt Python

14. 64 .357 speed loaders

15. Barrett M82

16. 64 filled Barrett magazines

17. The plasma cutter

18. 64 filled plasma cutter batteries

19. Diamond pickaxe

20. Agnus and Rudra

21. Cerebus lanyard

22. Axe of Perun

The other 14 slots were empty along with some other weapons. I was missing half of my guns and several of my weapons. What happened to them? I'll deal with it later.

I pulled the Remington 870. "Cover your ears, Dinky" I said. She did as I said. I pointed the shotgun into the ceiling and fired. The electrically charged magnum 3 1/2 inch blasted a hole in the ceiling of the TARDIS and made a gunshot that was loud enough to wake up the two ponies. Not only that but Derpy and the Doctor jumped up slightly in the air, grabbing each other for dear life. "Good morning. Looks like we're alive."

The Doctor stood up and walked over to the console of the TARDIS. "It was successful" Doctor Whooves said. "Yeah, we melded two universes together successfully."

"What did we meld with our universe?" I asked him.

"A more modernized Equestria. Not too modernized but it is noticeable" the Doctor replied. Then the console beeped. "Yes, I missed you too."

"What?" I asked.

The Doctor started hugging the console. "Doctor!" Derpy said. Derpy walked over to the Doctor and slapped him.

"Sorry" the Doctor said. Derpy giggled a little before they locked lips again.

Nope. Nope. Good bye. I picked up Dinky and exited the TARDIS. Instead of being near the town hall where the TARDIS was previously, it looked like we were in one of the storage rooms inside my store. I walked out of the storage room and my vision was filled with the sight of my store's interior. Instead of usual inventory of thousands of bows and melee weapons, it was filled with thousands of revolvers, bolt action rifles, lever action rifles, and single/double barrel shotguns. Doctor... THIS IS NOT BARELY NOTICEABLE!!!!