Author's Notes:

30 chapters of bullshittery!

Soon, the story will switch to the last arc which means that this story is coming to its end in about ten chapters or so, it all depends on how I decide to write/pace it. I also wrote most of this chapter at 4 in the morning so I apologize for any dumb mistakes.

Poindexter grumbled as he gathered his suitcase and the package Prince Blueblood had asked him to deliver directly to Jay in Ponyville. The train ground to a halt as he made his way out of the cabin, readying himself to leave.

“Treat it like a vacation!" He parroted, raising the pitch of his voice in a frustrated mockery of his employers' tone of voice. "It's an urgent delivery, so pack what you need and leave right away!” Dex blew a short raspberry to the amusement of a filly that was staring and overheard him and walked out to the station.

He sighed, perhaps it wouldn't be so bad to get out of the town every now and then? He had been absolutely swamped with work lately and it had begun to wear on his nerves. He would be able to let his hair down and not act twice his age like he usually did in Manehattan to be respectful against everypony he worked with as they looked to him to help them usually.

Dex levitated the items close to himself as he walked out into the township. A pleasant scent hung in the air, no stuffy offices or meetings that took a good chunk out of his time. So busy looking around, he didn't notice that he was about to cross paths with another unicorn who had her nose deep in a book.

With a grunt out of him and a surprised yelp, he accidentally dropped his suitcase and it swung open, littering the contents of it in the street. He shook his head, adjusted his glasses with his magic and muttered a curse when he noticed the carnage surrounding them.

“I'm sorry, I wasn't looking where I was going. Are you o-” Dex turned to the pony he collided with. She was also a unicorn, her coat was lavender and her mane was a darker indigo color with a purple and pink streak. “-kaaaaaaaaaaaaay...” He pushed up his jaw with his hoof. He then reached out to help her up.

She blinked and shook her head, then her purple eyes focused on him. “I'm fine, it was my fault as well. I was also not looking.” She accepted his hoof and she was pulled up to her hooves. Her eyes widened and with a quick spell, all the contents of his suitcase were gathered and placed back inside it.

“Thank you...” He patted some dust off himself, looking down at the ground. Dex bit his lip and looked around. “I'm sorry to bother you, but do you know where James Andersen's house is?”

The mare nodded. “Oh, Jay?” Dex nodded. “He lives on the other side of town, want me to show you where?”

Dex had an internal battle. If he declined, he would be able to make it through by himself quicker and find a place to stay in within the hour or so. If he accepted, an admittedly very cute mare who seemed to be just a year or so younger than him would join and make him company for a while longer.

A rather unsettling image in his head of Jay walking around, yelling at him to 'just do it' appeared. Deciding not to argue about why it was Jay, or why he was acting like a coach, Dex nodded with a smile.

“I'd like that. I'm Poindexter,” he stopped and tilted his head slightly to the right and gave her a winning smile “but you can call me Dex.”

Her cheeks burned red instantly and her entire posture seemed to stiffen for a split second.

“I-I'm Twilight. Twilight S-Sparkle.”

“Nice to meet you, Twilight.” He walked past her, lifted both the undamaged package and his suitcase, holding out a hoof for her to pass him. “Shall we?”

Twilight giggled and passed him. “We shall.”

Once they had walked through most of the town, Dex found his eyes wandering but he quickly righted himself and stared straight ahead. “So, how do you know him?”

“I was the first pony he met when he arrived the first time and the only one he really talked to before leaving.” She smiled and slowed down so they were walking side-by-side. “The second time around when the gateway closed on him, I took him in and he stayed with me for a while before moving out.”

“That's very nice of you!” Dex smiled. “I didn't know he was here before he got stuck on our world. How did that happen?”

“He was very drunk.”

“Oh, that seems to be a common theme with him...”

Twilight glanced at the stallion in the corner of her eyes. He had good posture, walking without a care in the world and from his casual usage of magic it told her that he was talented with it.

"So..." Twilight started once they reached Jay's neighborhood and loud music was heard in the distance. "How did you meet him?"

Dex sighed, then gave her a weak chuckle with a gentle shake of his head. “I work for Prince Blueblood as an assistant at Platinum Industries. I picked him up from the train station and got him situated along with joining him on various outings.” Dex then smiled at her. “I was also dragged into jail with him even though I was innocent.”

Her ears fell flat to her head. “Oh, I heard about it! I'm so sorry that you had to go through all of that!” She looked down at the ground. “He really should know better! I swear he does things like this on purpose...”

Dex laughed and patted her back. “Don't worry about it, I'm fine.” Twilight perked up and an unsure smile formed on her face. “I asked him what he was thinking and he just replied with 'I'm a fuckin' enigma, dude' complete with exaggerated hoof gestures...”

There was silence between the two until Twilight snorted and both of them started laughing. The music in the background only increased in volume the closer they came to the house. Twilight stopped next to the gate and pressed the buzzer. About a minute later, the gate slid open and the two passed.

Dex looked around with wide eyes. He had to admit, the human had a pretty good house and decent security to boot.

“Are you coming?” Twilight called from the porch, looking back at him with a crooked smile. A light blush painted his cheeks and he trotted to her, stopping beside her.

The door creaked open and Twilight walked inside followed by him.

“Hi, Strawberry!” Twilight hugged the third unicorn who eagerly returned it. “Is Jay upstairs? I walked a guest of his here.”

Strawberry glanced over at Poindexter.

“Hello, miss Strawberry.” Dex nodded respectfully with a reserved smile on his face. “I apologize for the urgency I left in the last time we met.” He held out a hoof to her and she shook it.

Twilight caught herself staring at him. He was polite and well-mannered, a complete shift from the boisterous and often violent impulses that came from the human he was here to see. Her eyes shifted once again to his cutiemark. An image of a quill lying on a scroll, of all things. She felt the temperature rising.

'Is that... Is that a checklist..?' She tore her gaze to the floor and her ears fell back. 'Unf...' She bit her lower lip.

“Twilight, are you okay?” Strawberry asked her suddenly. Twilight nearly jumped out of her coat at the sound.

“Wh-what?”

“I said that Jay is upstairs with Spike.” Strawberry had noticed the sideways glance her friend had given the stallion and had a small smile on her face. “I think they're on the balcony on the right wing, just follow the music. I'll be out back if you need anything!”

Dex retrieved a small stack of papers from his suitcase, then left it next to the door. They walked upstairs and followed the directions Strawberry had given them and followed the music. They came to an open door and heard talking.

“Aim just a little more to the left!” A younger voice called out.

“Got it, little more to the left...” Jay replied.

“That's it! Fire!” Spike yelled excitedly.

A grunt came from Jay and soon after, there was a snap and the sound of something flying away at high speeds was heard. Seconds later a yell was heard from far away with loud laughter from both Jay and Spike.

“Bullseye!” Jay gasped out between laughter. “Alright, get the next one from the gross box, I think that's Rarity over there...”

“What are you doing?” Twilight asked when she had joined them on the balcony.

On the floor, there were two baskets of water balloons and what looked like an oversized slingshot was bolted to the floorboards in front of Jay. Spike was holding a pair of binoculars. Jay was wearing a pair of baggy shorts and the same black tank top he usually wore around the house.

Both of them turned to Twilight in near panic. Both of them glanced at each other and like two foals caught stealing cookies, both of them decided by only communicating with a glance that their best course of action would be to lie.

“Oh, we were just birdwatching...” Jay said, giving Twilight his best smile.

“Birdwatching with a slingshot?” Twilight raised an eyebrow.

“Well, sometimes a bird lands here and is tired so...” Spike started but glanced at Jay to help him out. The human tapped the slingshot.

“We give them a helping hand to get back out there.” Jay grinned but the sweat on his brow caught him in his web of lies and deceit. Spike facepalmed.

“Uh-huh,” Twilight had to force herself not to giggle at the mental image of a bird being shot out of it. “and what about the water balloons?”

“...Sometimes the birds are thirsty but can't stop to drink?”

Twilight snorted and shook her head. “I know what you really did but I'll talk about this with the both of you later.” Jay and Spike gulped. “I actually came here to show a pony the way here.”

From her words, Dex who had been regarding the situation with nothing but a raised eyebrow and a few curious glances at the baby dragon stepped forward.

"Hello, Jay. I brought you the custom backscratchers you specifically ordered." Poindexter levitated the package forward. Jay snatched it from his magic with a splitting grin adorning his face. "And if you have the time, Prince Blueblood wanted me to go over a few documents with you that need signatures."

Jay glanced down at Spike who's posture slumped. Jay frowned and squatted, patting the drake's shoulder.

“Sorry bud, I know I said that we'd hang today but I just gotta do this lil' thing for work.” Jay pointed a thumb at the door. “You can go with Twilight down to the pool, I think Strawberry's there and I'll be right out.”

“Okay...” Spike sighed and left with Twilight.

Once they had left, Jay stood up and pinched the bridge of his nose with a sigh. “Right, let's head to my office so we can get this done.”

Jay and Dex walked through the second floor of the house until they came to the office. Jay opened the door and held it open for the stallion. Getting situated, Jay retrieved a pen and started reading through some of the papers with a hum.

“These are just some basic papers on patents and copyright on your design,” Dex began “the papers in the bottom are protocols from the meetings regarding your product post-launch.”

“How was the quality on the first shipments to leave the factory?” Jay asked as he started writing his signature on the papers in order.

"They were of a high standard, not a single manufacturing flaw was found on the initial two-hundred but we keep the checks running until we can manage to hold a permanent stock." Dex adjusted his glasses and smiled. "Bringing in Artisan on the overseeing helped a lot."

Jay nodded and resumed writing. They made small-talk and some back and forth banter until Jay filled out the last form and handed the completed stack to Dex. His eyes focused on the other stack of papers with protocols and sighed.

"I'll go through these on my own if you want to you can head out to the girls and Spike and let them know I'll be out shortly." Jay adjusted in his seat and began thumbing through the papers. Noticing Poindexter's hesitation, Jay chuckled. "Down the stairs, go left until you see some french doors before the kitchen."

"Thanks..." Dex smiled and left Jay to read at his own pace. Making his way down the stairs, he followed the humans' instructions and quickly found the wide-open doors. He walked outside and shielded the sun from his eyes until they were adjusted. Once he dropped his hoof, his breath caught in his throat.

Twilight was climbing out of the pool, her mane clinging to her neck and shoulders. She was looking over to Strawberry who was reclined in a sun chair with a bright smile. He took a couple of shaky steps forward and Twilight's eyes focused on him and her cheeks painted with a pink blush. He also felt a burn on his cheeks the more he stared at her. It felt like minutes.

This moment was, of course violently and quite brutally ended once a loud voice yelled from above.

“CANNONBALL!”

Rapid footsteps were heard from above and seconds later, Jay jumped from the roof covering the doorway out from the house. Time seemed to slow down for the ponies once he descended down into the deeper end of the pool.

A loud splash came from his point of impact and unfortunately for Dex, he was in prime positioning to become absolutely soaked in water. He sighed and closed his eyes. He flinched a little when the water hit him and then he heard the loud laughter from the human.

“Holy shit, I didn't think I'll actually make it!”

Strawberry's cheeks puffed and rage flashed across her eyes. “Jay, what the hay! You could have gotten hurt and now you soaked Poindexter!”

Jay was grinning as he made slow backstrokes from one side of the pool to the other. Dex only stared straight ahead with a deadpan and his mouth a thin line. A glance to his side revealed that Twilight was reacting the same way as him. With a quick spell, he retrieved a small stainless steel flask from his suitcase and twisted the top open and took a long swig.

He offered it to Twilight and she accepted it without saying anything, drinking more than he did before giving it back to him, still keeping that deadpan on her face.

“Woah, that was awesome! I also wanna try it!” Spike cheered as he swam in circles around the human.

“No you will not, that's dangerous!” Strawberry chided him. Spike frowned.

Dex shook his head and teleported the flask back to his suitcase. “Anyway, that's all I needed to do here for now.” With a spell, his coat was dry. “I'm gonna head out and see if I can find a hotel or something.”

Jay blew a raspberry. “Hotel schmotel, you can stay here! We have a couple of guest rooms in the house you can use, no charge!”

Dex glanced over at Strawberry. “Is that okay?” She nodded.

"It is, we have plenty of rooms here that go unused so you can go right ahead and pick one out." She said, turning in her chair so she could face him. "Second floor, to the left in the far end. There are some bedrooms there."

Jay got up from the pool and retrieved a towel and put it over his shoulders. “Strawberry, Spike and I are leaving for Canterlot tomorrow though. I'm gonna deliver the princesses their... Gifts and I owe both of them a trip.” He pointed at Twilight. “So I'm sorry Dex, but you're gonna have to spend a day here alone with Twilight 'cause she's gonna watch the house for us.”

“Hey!” Twilight interjected. “You asked me to do it and I'm sure Dex and I can figure out something to do together!”

The color drained from Poindexter's face. 'Oh boy...'

“Yeah, I'm sure you two can do something.” Jay gave them an evil grin. “You can do whatever as long as you don't bump uglies in the living room.” The human laughed, Strawberry spat out her drink and both Twilight and Poindexter's faces turned blood red. “At least take him out for dinner first, Twi!”

“What does 'bump uglies mean?” Spike asked, glancing up at Jay with childish innocence.

Three sets of eyes locked on Jay in burning anger. Jay sighed.

“...God dammit.”