A Guy, His Best Friend, and Her Roommate

by Azurini

Chapters

Breaking and Entering

You run your hands through your hair and sit up, looking over at your clock and sighing. You throw the covers off and swing your legs off the bed, your gaze slowly fixating on a pair of pants a few feet away.

You stand up and make your way over to them, sliding your legs into their respective sides, and then proceed to open the door to the hallway. You don’t bother turning on the lights in the hallway, feeling your way along the empty walls was all the help you needed.

You yawn as you enter the living room, and since you didn’t feel like hitting your foot on some random piece of furniture, you flip on the lights and shield your eyes. After a couple of seconds, you uncover your eyes and notice something strange on your couch.

You walk over to it and poke it, not caring that it was asleep. It mumbles something and it stirs, and you continue to poke and prod it continuously. Eventually it groans, finally sitting up, and yawning while stretching its arms over its head.

“You know that this is breaking and entering, right?” you say, sitting on the end of the couch.

“I didn’t break anything, all I did was enter.” it retorts in a tone halfway between normal and a yawn.

“You’re unbelievable Lyra.” you say to her, placing your hand on her head.

“What time is it?” she says, scratching her head with one hand and rubbing one of her eyes with the other.

Lyra and you have been friends since you were both kids since your parents worked below hers. The result of this was Lyra knowing you probably better than she knew herself, not that this was a bad thing, you’ve always had a little thing for her.

“Do you really have to be wearing so little when you aren’t even in your own home? Do you know how easily I could take advantage of your right now?” you say in a stern voice, grabbing the blanket that was slung over the back of the couch and tossing it over her barely clothed body.

“Yea, yea, we both know you wouldn’t do that in a million years.” she grumbles, swiping your way and landing face first on your lap.

“You are really horrific when you first wake up, you know that Lyra?” you say, picking up a handful of mint green hair. You pick up a stray piece of white hair that came from the one single streak of white she had always had.

“So why are you here?” you say after a few moments of silence, realizing you weren’t going to get a response from her.

“My roommate.” she replies in a half sigh, half annoyed tone.

“Oh yea, you do have a roommate, don’t you?” you say in a sarcastic tone.

“Yeah...”

“Lovers quarrel I’m going to assume? I mean, you’ve had one for what, a year now?”

“Shut up. She just annoys me, that’s all.” she growls.

You take the hint and back off of the subject, and now that you were wide awake you highly doubt you are going back to sleep. You slide her head off of your lap and stand up.

“Well I need some fresh air.” you say, hoping she doesn’t respond.

“I’ll come too!” you look to your side just in time to spring up.

All she is wearing is an orange tank top that looks like the kind of shirt that when wet becomes see through, and a tiny pair of blue shorts.

“Oh come on Lyra!” you say, averting your eyes and looking at the mini bar overlooking the kitchen.

“You have some sweats with strings, right?” you hear her walk away, and you sigh.

You frown as you look over your living room, and you pick up a potato chip bag that had somehow made its way onto the carpet. You have one giant couch that is in the shape of an L that is accompanied by a matching coffee table, and a single 52” TV hanging on the wall. The coffee table contained a few magazines you had left out that you probably should have put away into the cardboard box they belonged in, and a glass of milk. You sip the milk and recoil at the taste, and you end up chugging the whole thing just so you don’t waste it.

Money is tight as always...

“I hope you get sick from that.” you hear Lyra say in a disgusted voice, and you turn and see her pretend gagging.

“That’s a horrible thing to hope for Lyra.” you reply, walking up to her and looking at her now covered legs, and instead of nodding like you had originally intended to, you end up looking her from bottom to top.

Lyra was perfect in every aspect to you, and your definition of pretty probably sprouted from being around her so much at a young age. Although she only comes up to about your shoulders, that’s how you liked it; not too tall, but not too short. Her orange eyes had a thing for piercing through your soul when you lied to her, and you loved when you had to tell one of those little white lies, perhaps a surprise birthday party, and she would get all up in your personal bubble and simply stare you down. And then there was her hair. So simple, as if the only thing she had ever done to it, and probably will ever do to it, is brush it a few times. It had it’s own strange color scheme that you had only seen on one other person, her mother, and that is mint green with a streak of white. It only comes down to a little past her shoulders, but you liked it that way, just like her height, not too short, but not too long. Plus she was also one of the more paler people you knew, but she didn't seem to ever burn in the sun.

“See anything you like?” she says, looking slightly up and grinning at you before turning towards the door to your porch.

“I wasn-”

“Save your excuses for someone who cares.” she says, stifling another yawn as she starts making her way over to it.

You groan and make your way over to her, sliding the glass door open for her, following her promptly.. You look up as you step off of the porch and onto the grass, and you smile.

Another crystal clear night.

You both hailed from a town not that far from Manehatten, and since you were so close to the city back then, you had never really gotten to see the night sky so clearly as you had from Ponyville. Though Ponyville still had a substantial amount of light pollution, it wasn’t nearly as much as the giant shield the city essentially made from all of the light, basically blocking everything but the brightest stars.

You look back down and look around for Lyra, and you notice she has made her way onto the trampoline that was planted smack dab in the middle of your backyard.

“Come over here and lay with me!” she says in a playful voice, and you obediently do as she commands.

The second you crawl into place next to her she turns onto her side and smiles at you, her arm creating a cushion for her head to lay on as she looks at you. You smile back and go back to looking at the sky, and soon enough your eyes start to get heavy.

“Hey, do you remember my favorite constellation?” you hear Lyra ask, and your hand shoots up immediately and points to a group of stars.

“Remember the name?”

“Nope.” you say, telling her a little white lie.

“Aw, then I guess we aren’t the bestest best friends that will ever be!” you turn just in time to see her pout and make her eyes water; the all too familiar sad face she had mastered when you were kids.

“So how did you get into my house?” you ask, curious to how she got in without detection.

“I stole your key.”

“Wait what.” you say, the question coming out more like a statement.

“Sorry?” she says, sounding half sorry and half amused.

You turn and look at her, and then proceed to say “boop” as you hit her in the head with the palm of your hand. She hates boops, probably from the bottom of her soul.

“Stop!” she finally says after about ten boops.

“Alright, alright, don’t raise your voice, you don’t know what could be in the Everfree!” you say, covering her mouth with your hand. You feel her lick your hand, and you pull back immediately from the unwanted action.

“Gah! Lyra, we’re not little kids anymore.” you say, wiping your hand on your shirt with a sigh.

“Sometimes I wish we were...” she says, her voice full of sorrow.

“Why’s that?” you ask, suddenly intrigued.

“Well uh... You remember that one time you asked me out for Hearths Warming day, and I said no?”

You flinch and look away.

“Er... Yeah.”

“Well I... Never mind.” she says frantically, hitting you in the chest and looking back at the sky.

“Have you ever wondered what’s out there?” Lyra asks, reaching towards the sky with both hands.

“Yea, and then you told me talking ponies live in an alternate universe and are somewhere out there.” you say in a joking tone, and you receive another hit to the chest, except this time she doesn’t respond. She simply lays there, eyes twinkling, from the stars or from her personality, you might never know.

Way back when you were a freshman in high school Lyra had this obsession with talking techni colored ponies in an alternate plane of existence, and she was deemed the “Class Crazy” by just about everyone but yourself up until sophomore year when she had abandoned it and acted normal. You hate normal. You always respected Lyra for not caring about what other people think; how she would just forget everyone was there and start talking to you about some of the most awkward conversation topics ever. Since then, she had hated everytime you brought up her one year obsession, and then everytime you asked her where she had gotten the strange idea, she would tell you to go crawl into a ditch and help a panda give birth.

You quickly glance over at her to see her reaching towards the sky again, and you also can’t help but wish you were still in highschool.

“Why are you here again?” you say after shaking your head to clear your thoughts.

“I got into an argument with my roommate about rent.”

“What about rent.” you say, your voice hardening without you even noticing.

“Well I am a little behind on it...” she says, giving you a sheepish smile.

“Jiminey Cricket Lyra...”

“Hey, it’s not my fault! I just... there was this great sale and I went a little overboard, and I’m just a little short on rent.”

“How much is a little?”

“About 200 dollars.” she says with a laugh.

“Ugh, how can you be laughing about that?” you say with disgust, but she shrugs and directs her attention to the sky.

“I don’t know... Maybe I could introduce you to her and you could persuade her to forgive me and let me back?”

“No.”

“I’ll play the Lyre as you persuade her?” she says, hardly containing her laughter.”

“I’m being serious here Lyra.”

“Ugh. Fine.”

“I have a proposal for you Lyra.” you say reluctantly.

Am I really going to do this...

“What’s that?” she says, sitting up and leaning back on both arms as she looks at you.

“You can stay here until you work things out with your roommate, but you have to save everything you make from here on out and put it towards rent. No more spending. I’ll pay for all of the” you take a gulp, “necessities.”

“Cool.”

“...Cool?”

“Cool.”

“All you have to say is cool?” you say, slightly ticked off.

“You aren’t going to make me pay you in sexual favors right?” she says, joking horror in her voice.

“Of course not!” you say, picking up on the joke right after you respond.

“I mean, I’m willing to do it, just nothing too strange, okay?” she says with a giggle, sliding off of the trampoline and starting her short trek back to your home.

“Whatever... I’ve got work tomorrow, so make yourself at home!” you mumble, averting your gaze from her backside to the night sky.

I wonder who her roommate is?

Oh Look, An Unwanted Partner

Oh Celestia it is getting hot fast.

You pinch the center of your shirt and pulse it back and forth away from your body to attempt to cool yourself off. It was only the morning, but it was already quite warm, and it was only going to get hotter.

You hadn’t retreated to the safety of your home last night, but instead you stayed and slept on the trampoline. You know for a fact that you are going to regret it, due to the fact that your back hurt terribly. As you make your way towards your house you stretch yourself out, twisting your torso, touching your toes, and such.

You attempt to open the glass pane, but apparently Lyra had locked it when she went inside. You sigh and make your way around the house to try the front door. No luck. You bend over and pick up the fake rock you had strategically placed a few feet from the front door.

So she didn’t take my key, she just used the spare and forgot to put it back. So help me Celestia... Lyra is probably still asleep.

Right now you figure you have only a few options, one being to wake Lyra up and make her open the door, two being break and enter your own home, and three being just go to work as is.

Alright… Number one is out of the question, I’m not going to just wake her up. Two... well I could do that since I live on the edge of the Everfree, but I don’t want to pay for the repairs…

You glance down at yourself, and decide on going with option three.

Jeans and a white t shirt… I would prefer shorts on a day like this, but oh well.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Morning!” you say, already having built up a substantial amount of moisture throughout the outer layer of your body.

“Oh my heavens, is it really that hot out?” you hear the familiar voice of Mrs. Cake say.

“Probably wouldn’t be too bad if I could have worn shorts…” you mumble, making your way behind the counter of the store.

“Well you are here pretty early, so do you mind just… staying away from everything until you cool off?” she says with a feeble smile, motioning with both of her hands to back away.

“Oh sure. Sorry.” You say, taking a seat on the stairs to your left.

“Oh it is quite alright dear, just… if you sit down at a table please wipe it off.”

“Can do Mrs. Cake.”

“Where’s Pinkie Pie?” you ask, wondering why you hadn’t already received a hug from the pretty pink girl who just so happened to be the Element of Laughter.

“You’ll probably see her when you drop off Twilight’s goods at the library. She stayed over there last night.”

“Gotcha.”

She disappears to the behind the scenes of Sugarcube corner, her crazy hair due sliding through the door last, and you are left in the lovely cool deserted shop. You take a quick glance over at the new clock on the adjacent wall and notice you are about an hour early.

I hate Lyra so much.

You hear a jingle and your eyes automatically move to the door. A girl makes her way to the front counter, oblivious to your presence in the room. She stands there for a few moments before leaning over the counter and looking from left to right.

“Hello?”

“Hi.”

She stumbles and takes a step back, probably startled that the voice came from behind her and not from the back of the shop. She looks around the room for you, and when she does finally locate you she frowns.

“That’s attractive.”

“Huh?”

She points at you, and you look down to see yourself still somewhat wet from all the sweat. You smile and shrug as you stand up and make your way over to her.

“Can I help you Miss?”

“Well er… Do you work here?” the girl asks, and you nod.

“Well I ha- you see I’m he- what I’m trying to a-“

The girl is struggling to say something, and you frown at how badly her attempt was.

“Oh we aren’t open dearie.” The familiar face of Mrs. Cake pops out from the back.

“I’ve come for a job!” the girl finally says, shutting her eyes tight and looking all the way down, her hair cascading around her face.

The girl is about the height of Lyra, but she didn’t have the same quirkiness Lyra had. The girls hair was significantly longer than Lyra’s, coming down to the bottom of her shoulder blades, and the color scheme was completely different. The majority of her hair was dark blue, besides her bangs which were pink and clipped with a hair clip to the side. The back of her left hand contained her cutie mark, which was three pieces of candy. Her complexion was extremely similar to Lyra's, being almost the same color skin with no blemishes.

You glance down at the back of your right hand and frown as Mrs. Cake starts asking the girl some questions. One thing you had always wondered about was your special talent, or cutie mark; in middle school everyone around you started getting their cutie marks one by one, and by the end of middle school only a handful of people still didn’t have one. Cutie marks appear on the back of the left hand for girls, and the back of the right for guys. People who could use magic got them on their ankles, and people with wings got them on the side of their necks.

You still don’t have yours.

“Well you seem like an outstanding woman Bon-Bon, but right now we just don’t really have any jobs open right now. I mean, business is booming, like usual, but we just don’t really need any help…”

“Please! I really need a job, scratch that, any job. I lost my job yesterday and as a result of it I might not be able to pay my rent this month…”

You feel your ears twitch and your head snaps up to the girl, who you now know as Bon-Bon.

Don’t tell me…

“Well… the only thing you might be able to do is help this young man,” Mrs. Cake motions towards you, “with deliveries, but he doesn’t really need help with that.”

Bon-Bon turns and looks at you with a forced smile and takes a step forward. You take a step back, knowing you sucked at these kinds of decisions. The girl seemed nice and all, but she didn’t really seem like the kind of girl who would be much help delivering stuff to various places around time. In all honesty, she looked like the kind of girl who had been pampered her whole life, mainly because she was carrying one of the most expensive purses you had ever seen in your life.

“Please!” Bon-Bon says, cupping her hands and taking another step forward.

I don’t…

You reach into your pocket and pull out a bit.

“Uh how about this; heads or tails?”

You give her a weak smile and hold up the coin, and she groans and stomps her foot.

“Really?!” Mrs Cake says with a laugh.

“Heads or tails miss?” you ask again.

“Tails.”

You flip the coin into the air and let it land on the ground. It seems to hit the ground somewhat at an angle, and it bounces a few times before finally settling. You go over to it and look at it; it landed on the side that had a giant one on it, not the side that had Celestia’s face on it.

“Guess your hired then.” You say, picking up the coin, walking over to the girl and then holding your hand out to her.

She promptly grasps it with hers, and to your surprise she squeezes quite hard and you have to pull back and rub your hand.

The girl simply smiles at you before turning back to Mrs. Cake, and your eyes slowly moves down the back of her body until you end up staring at a specific area. You shake your head and walk towards the front door.

“Hey Mrs. Cake, I think I’m going to head out early with the new kid here so I can show her the fastest ways around Ponyville.”

“That’s okay with me, more time for me to finish baking what we are selling in the store today.”

You stand at the door and wait for Bon-Bon to follow, and when she finally does make her way to the door, you open it for her.

“That’s cute.” She says with a laugh, walking through the door.

Lady luck must really hate me… giving me a jerk like this as a co worker for a job that requires one person…

You close the door tightly behind you and your hand slams against your forehead. Bon-Bon was already fanning herself off with her hand.

“Go take the purse inside and ask Mrs. Cake to hold it for you. It will only be a nuisance. Meet me around back after.” You say, already making your way behind the store.

“Okay.”

You open the back door to the store and wave to your friend Ballad, who is standing there looking lost. She smiles and nods at you, and you pick up the first box closest to you, which just so happened to be labeled Sweet Apple Acres.

“Guess this will be the first one Ballad.”

Ballad walks over to you and puts both of her hands over the box, and then closes her eyes. After a couple of seconds her hands start to glow purple, and then everything in the box starts to glow for a brief moment. She walks away, and as she does, the glow from each baked good slowly fades. You turn around and walk to the door, but both of your hands are occupied holding the box. Before you can say a word, the door is enveloped in a light purple glow and it opens.

“Thank’s Ballad.”

Ballad was in charge of making sure none of the products went bad. She would cast a general baked good spell over everything, and then she would concentrate a stronger version of the spell on the box you picked out to go and deliver next to make sure it didn’t go bad on the trip there.

The second you are fully through the door Ballad closes it. You don’t see Bon-Bon in the immediate vicinity, and you end feeling really stupid for just standing there with a box. The least you could be doing was walking with a box of baked desserts, but instead you had to stand here, looking like a bump on a log holding a box.

How long does it take to give a purse to someone?

You end up waiting for another five minutes before you finally figure she had already quit, and you start walking off in the direction of the town square.

“Wait up!” you hear an annoying voice say.

You don’t turn around or anything, you just keep heading straight, maintaining your steady pace. Eventually out of the corner of your eye you can see someone walking beside you, and when you finally turn your full attention onto your new co worker, you notice something different about her.

She has a different purse.

You feel your eye twitch, but you don’t say anything. Instead, you clench your teeth and look straight again, nodding to several people you see on a daily basis whilst doing your job.

The streets are just starting to get a little busy, but thankfully since Ponyville isn’t that big, there isn’t a lot of people to fill the streets. When you look up you can see the weather team moving clouds out of the way, and you see two of your friends; one is being yelled at, and the other is the one doing the yelling. In other words, your friend Ditzy was being yelled at, and your other friend Rainbow Dash was the one doing the yelling.

Yea, seems about right.

“So where are we going, Mist-”

“Sweet Apple Acres.”

“Oh, okay... Isn’t that a good ten miles away?”

“Sure is. Wanna quit now and save me from having to deal with you?” you say in a slightly annoyed voice, your words coming out with a venom you didn’t intend to put in them.

You stop walking, to apologize to her and say that what you had just said was out of line, but she seems unphased by it and just keeps walking. She turns around and starts walking backwards, and she frowns at you.

“Already tired boss?” she says in a mocking tone, and as she turns to walk correctly again, she goes face first into a window of a shop.

“That’s attractive.” you say, attempting to copy Bon-Bon’s tone she had used earlier when she had said the phrase.

You walk up to her and set the box down. You would have kept walking, but she had stopped moving and had put her hands up to her nose.

“You okay?”

“No I’m not okay. I just walked face first into a building!”

“If it makes you feel any better I got a kick out of it.” you say, taking her hands and moving them away from her face to get a better look.

“There is nothing wrong with your fa-”

She has gorgeous teal blue eyes...

You end up staring into her eyes, and she simply stares back. After a few seconds you realize you are still holding her hands, and you let go of them, but maintain your gaze.

“What’s wrong? Is something messed up? I think my nose is broken!” Bon-Bon says in a frantic voice, whipping around and breaking eye contact with you.

She attempts to get a good angle in the glass window, but the sun was at the perfect angle to obscure any angle she could possibly do. You end up picking up the box and shaking your head as you start walking away.

“Oh come on Bon-Bon, there is nothing wrong with your face. If it makes you feel better, it still is as pretty as it was before.”

Wait did I just say that?!

“What did you say?”

“I said If it makes you feel better, it is only slightly more ugly than it was before.”

There is an awkward silence between the two of you from their on out for about ten minutes before you finally break the silence,

“You said you needed this job; why?”

Bon-Bon frowns and scratches her arm as she looks at the ground.

“I got into a fight with my roommate about rent, and she ended up leaving. I really need to sort things out with her, because the only reason we were fighting in the first place was about rent, and the thing is... well I got laid off yesterday, and I was going to ask her to help me out... and then she told me she couldn’t pay her share this month either.”

Oh what do you know, her roommate is Lyra.

“Well... stop being so stubborn. Remember I’m technically your boss, so I can fire you at any time.” you say, attempting to sound authoritative, but it comes out sounding like you were a fifth grader doing an oral presentation.

“Fair enough.”

“And get rid of the purse. Christ you look ridiculous.”

“Says the one carrying a giant box with box hands.”