The trip back to Ponyville had been uneventful, and Salad was thankful.

For some reason, she suddenly cared about whether or not she might have to kill something in front of the squeamish mare she travelled with.

A few days after the Windfish, Fluttershy came within a mile of her cottage and was immediately picked up by a bear, several dear, and a monkey, and quickly carried back towards her home.

Salad watched her go while Fluttershy tried to bid her good day and thank her amidst giggling and happily assuring each animal following and carrying her that yes, she did miss them just as much as they missed her.

Angel stood nearby, glaring at the pink mare.

“She’s fine. Hey, can you get somepony to take this?” Salad said, shrugging the harp off of her back.

Angel waved an arm at a nearby bush, and an armadillo of all things came lumbering out and waited expectantly at her hooves.

Salad shrugged and positioned the wrapped harp on it’s back, before nodding towards it and the bunny.

She set off towards the farm.

--

Big Mac noticed the scarred mare’s approach. And soon after, he noticed a few more things.

Things like how the mare still wore bags, meaning she probably hadn’t settled at home before coming to visit. Something that brought a smile to his face.

One other thing he noticed was her attitude. Gone was the tense air around her, the narrowed eyes and tightened jaw that suggested she was coming over to get away from the town and it’s inhabitants in general.

She didn’t look happy persay, more neutral than anything. Aside from giving her a slight resemblance to her more stoic brother, it meant he was looking at a Salad for whom nothing was wrong.

It was probably the best he’d ever seen her, to be honest.

“Howdy Salad. Safe trip?”

“For the most part. There was a thing with timberwolves, but she scared ‘em off.” He raised an eyebrow, and she gave a short laugh. “I know, right? It was weird.”

“Ah take it there’s a story there?”

“One or two. Also… I met the Windfish.”

“Did’ja?”

“…yeah.” Salad said, angling her eyes to the side and giving a short nod. Big Mac returned it.

He’d met the Windfish last year. He knew.

“Anythin’ else happen?”

“I’m… I might be… friends. With her. Or something.” She scowled and huffed. “I’m not even really sure.”

“Did she say yer friends?”

“…kinda, yeah.”

“Welp, yer friends then.”

“That simple?”

“For some, yeah.” The stallion answered. “For me. For her. If Ah recall, for you too.”

“…huh.” Big Mac smirked, and reached a hind hoof behind him to give a tree a calculated tap. A single apple fell into his waiting hoof.

“Oh the house. Ya earned that much at least.”

“Just one?”

“Ya also met the dreamer. The apple’s icin’ on the cake.”

“…yeah, I guess…” Salad agreed, taking a bite.

Big Mac wondered why he could hear thanks when she plainly hadn’t said it.

“So, did I miss anything?”

“Ivan applied.” Big Mac said. Salad’s eyes widened.

“…Huh. When?”

“The day ya left, actually. Maybe he thought he’d surprise ya if they got back to him.”

“…huh.”

“Hey kids, while we’re on the subject-“

“Oh what the buck Dad?!” Salad yelled turning at the sound of the new voice. Big Mac followed the sound.

Treading air a short distance above was a pegasus a deeper red than him. A mane as white as a cloud flowed dramatically, despite there being no wind.

“What kind of greeting is that? You haven’t seen me in a while Sally.”

“And you say hi by sneaking up behind your daughter and eavesdropping like some creeper. There’s a reason mom blames you for me turning out the way I did.”

“Sneaking? Pfft, like I’m going to make noise when I fly. That’s silly. You’re silly.”

“What are you even doing here? I mean, yeah, I guess you’re here for big bro, but you couldn’t have sent word?”

The red pegasus raised an eyebrow as he landed.

“We did send word. You should’ve had four or five days notice.”

“…we? Oh buck don’t tell me-“

“Yeah, she’s here. Good thing too. I’ve got a job to do, and she’s gonna make it easy and entertaining!”

“…dad I’m going to kill you if he dies.” Salad said, before she turned and jumped towards town.

“…So. You were talking to my daughter. Alone.” Said the stallion.

“Ah was.” Big Mac answered.

“I can cause a hurricane in seven seconds.”

“Ah delt with one o’ those once.” Mac recalled with a hoof on his chin. “As Ah recall, tore a house clean off the foundation and threw it. Nearly crushed mah baby sister.”

“Oh yeah?”

“Ah bucked it in half.” Mac said.

“…I like you.” Salad’s dad said with a roguish smile. “Gale Force.”

“Big Macintosh.” He returned with a nod and a hoofshake. “Care to tell me what’s going on?”

“Better yet. Want to see Ivan get the stuffing beaten out of him?” Big Mac had actually seen that before, given Memry, but something told him this would be twice as good.

“Lead the way.”

--

Ivan was out on a casual stroll through the park with Cheerilee. Sun shining, crusaders nowhere to be found…

A chill ran down his spine. Whenever he realised a day was perfect, it suddenly took a turn for the horrible.

“’Allo.” That chill from a second ago returned and froze his bones in place.

“Oh, hello.” Cheerilee said as she turned, completely oblivious to the impossible horror. “Can I help you?”

“Non. I have found everything zat I need.”

She was exactly as he remembered. A light green coat, violet eyes, platinum blonde mane… She'd aged gracefully, he noticed. Part of him noticed laugh lines, and he was happy that his leaving hadn't taken her smile.

He knew that expression presently on her face though. He was proper bucked.

“Mother.” Ivan greeted, evenly, betraying nothing, even though inside he was screaming at fate for mercy.

“…your mother? Really?” Cheerilee said with a rapidly widening smile. “Well! Pleased to meet you! I’m Cheerilee!”

“Riposte.” Ivan’s mother returned, not taking her eyes off her wayward son. “I would love to talk to you, Cheerilee, but I have business with mon fils.”

“…Oh?”

“Ivan, you’ve been very naughty.” Riposte continued, horn starting to glow as she approached.

Cheerilee’s eyes widened in alarm when, for the first time ever, Ivan stepped back.

“…missed you?” Ivan tried.

“I have missed you too, my darling boy. It is natural. I love you to pieces after all.”

“…oh moon.” Ivan whispered under his breath.

“If you are not careful, Ivan, I may just love you to death.” Riposte lunged, a violet rapier thrusting out of the aether and towards Ivan’s head.

Ivan, having dealt with more terrifying (or Memry should have been more terrifying, but no, this was different) creatures charging him, reacted on practised instinct.

A green shield barely stopped the rapier. Meaning that the blade penetrated and stopped an inch from Ivan’s face.

And a rather new spell of Ivan’s, a simple wave of kinetic force, shot forth with a bang and blew Riposte off her feet. She barely had time to gasp in surprise before she was tumbling head over hoof to land in an undignified heap several meters away.

She pulled herself up, laughing in a way that slowly declined in sanity. Ivan found himself wondering what the flying buck he had just done.

“Ah, my boy! How you’ve grown!” A gauche appeared to support the sword, and Ivan’s mind fell out of general paralysis and into ‘your life is in peril, be a stallion’.

Riposte’s grin widened as Ivan’s halberd appeared.

Cheerilee stared for a moment, before walking away and sitting under a tree to watch. This wasn’t the first time one of their dates was interrupted by a maniac out for blood, and she was quite sure it wouldn’t be the last.

…This was a bit of a special case though, so she’d forgive him. He’d probably need a hug later anyway.

Ivan analyzed his opponent while she stood there possibly doing the same.

Riposte’s special talent was dueling, as illustrated by the rapier on her flank. Combat against a single foe.

…Ivan’s though was combat in general. He wondered if this was how Twilight felt.

Either way though, he remembered once upon a time that Salad mentioned their mother had taken a championship of some sort. Meaning he was probably on his way to a pretty harsh beating if he didn't get creative.

…But then… it would be nice to play with his mom again, after so many years.

“Are you ready boy?”

“Yes.” Ivan answered, fear gone. “Enjoy yourself.” He was still intimidated, oh hay yes, and he had just given her general permission to go all out, but he was thrilled in ways he couldn’t explain.

Freud could suck a lemon though, this wasn’t a complex. This was a game.

“You will regret zat.” An odd twist to levitation was used to quicken her steps, and Ivan decided to ask her about it later. The blades left a trail as they swung, on purpose he guessed. It made it more difficult to see where she was attacking from.

It was a beautiful show of technique and ingenuity as she positioned herself to strike from a direction Ivan hadn’t been able to anticipate.

He aimed his horn and blew the ground apart at her hooves.

Riposte flew much in the way she had before, forward this time. Ivan made to catch her in his forehooves, but instead got a flying buck to the chest as she righted herself in midair.

The wind left his lungs but the blades didn’t stop moving. The halberd and shield were hard pressed to catch them all, but her hooves still found his head as she twisted herself into a more favourable position.

Ivan, still stunned from the first kick, could barely defend from the blades as he took blow after blow on his body from his mother’s hooves.

Riposte’s eyes widened as Ivan’s grit teeth curled into a smile. Memry hit so much harder than this.

It was the first time he had ever seen a unicorn backflip, as a huge green hammer fell where she had been standing a moment ago.

“…what have you been doing, boy?”

“Getting hurt.” Ivan replied.

A whip lanced from his horn and led his charge, seeking one of Riposte’s forelegs.

It was the oddest thing that blocked it. A wide ribbon of magic, shimmering as it wove through the air and intercepted the tendril. A tricky shield that could move the same way her blades did.

Ivan had closed the distance and lashed with his shield, throwing his halberd out from below. Both were blocked by blades, leaving her unprepared for the hammer that was falling from above.

Riposte smiled in a way that radiated quiet pride.

Then a third blade appeared and forced Ivan to move his head out of the way. A fourth nearly skewered him from above. A fifth and sixth spun in and forced his retreat.

She stood there, admiring him as the blades and ribbon orbited her in shifting patterns.

“Ah! ‘Ow foolish of me. This is no match, there is no judge. There are no rules.” She giggled in a way that Ivan was sure probably scared the hay out of his marefriend on the sidelines. “’Ow quickly I forget I can fight ‘ow I please. ‘Ow did you learn to fight like this?”

Ivan's shifted his weight anxiously. “Brutally.”

“I approve.” Riposte said as more blades began to appear. “Grandfather would be proud.”

“Fares?” Ivan asked, his horn glowing ever brighter as spells unburied themselves from his mind and were reviewed as possible options.

“He took ill for a time. A burglar attempted to rob him. He climbed out of bed and beat every shade of black and blue I could zink of into him. Right as rain the next day.” The blades were varied. Rapiers, daggers, pikes… Ivan squinted and thought he saw a katana in the mess somewhere.

“Expected.” Ivan answered. A heavy looking axe thudded into the ground at his side, next to a floating second halberd.

He chuckled as it all came back to him. Old grandfather Blood Knight was a fountain of happy memories.

“He told me to treat you extra rough when you were finally found.”

“Try.”

Ivan fancied he heard a bell for round two. His horn glowed brighter and Riposte laughed her surprise when the ground lurched under her feet.

The blades moved like a hive of wasps, numbering at least twenty and fanning out to attack him from multiple directions. Halberds twirled and the hammer flew forward and cleared the path as Ivan ran. The axe fell but was stopped cold by the ribbon.

Ivan spun around to attempt giving his mother two hinds to the chin, only for the ribbon to lengthen and stop the kick a millimeter from her mad grin.

Ivan smiled in a way that showed the apple hadn’t fallen far, as he tilted his head down and fired.

Riposte shielded her face from the debris, and wondered where her son had gone.

Then she looked up and saw the oddest thing.

Whisping clouds of cold and raging streams of fire twisted and danced with eachother as they came rushing down at her.

The ribbon warped and wavered and managed to stop and smother flames while another spell emitted enough heat to dull the sting of the cold.

And through the swirling chaos above her shot Ivan, halberd pointed down and held in his hooves.

The ribbon was busy, and his shield deflected her raining blades.

She couldn’t move. The ground around her hooves was frozen. She would slip and it would be over.

Riposte cackled as she crossed a pair of swords above her head. The last time she had been in this much trouble was the time she had that spat with her husband.

Ivan’s screaming descent stopped cold against his mother’s defense and the explosion was deafening as both weapons shattered, and the force of it bounced Ivan off in another direction.

Riposte felt the shock of her weapon breaking jolt through her system, and couldn’t stop the resulting shockwave from crushing her against the ground.

And several meters away, Ivan landed hard on his back.

Both were obviously breathing, and conscious, but neither were about to do much of anything for a while.

On the sidelines, Cheerilee and Salad’s mouths hung open. Gale looked the scene over with a discerning eye.

“…I honestly didn’t expect a tie. Ivan got huge while he was gone...”

“…I… what?! You knew this was gonna happen?!” Salad hissed. Gale shrugged.

“Ivan applied for the bracer. I volunteered to scout the talent. And I knew just how overjoyed your mother would be to meet her long lost son after so many years.”

“…I’m… I’m convinced.” Salad said, a trembling twitch in her eye. “I’m the only sane one in our family. You’re a bucking evil mastermind, mom’s an insane psycho, and Ivan’s some crazy idiot who power levels off of lamia and does things above his pay grade. I cook. I cook bucking awesome, but I still just cook. Why are you all so…”

“Bad? We are pretty bad. One time I was bad enough to- wait, did you say lamia?“

“Yeah. They're just as vicious as rumours say. Ivan hasn't managed to beat her yet.”

“...Eh. Point is, Ivan’s in. He’ll still have to go through basic training, but given the work out he just gave your mother, he could probably accelerate through that. Then we’ll hand him a shiny new bracer and he can start doing what our family does best.”

“Almost die while smiling like it’s your birthday?”

“Be bang out of order, yes. Big Macintosh?”

“Yeah?” The other stallion answered, still not altogether sure what to make of what he just saw.

“Could you go on ahead and tell the hospital to expect some business?”

“They’ve already got a room reserved for Ivan. Plaque an’ everythin’.” Gale Force shed a single stalliony tear.

“…so much like his mother…”