“Hey, bro, need advice.”

Ivan looked up from the pot he was stirring, since he had offered to help with dinner, and waited.

“…so I’m, uh…“

“…pregnant?” Ivan guessed.

“You’ve been spending too much time with dad. Also no.”

“Hm.” He sounded almost disappointed. Salad facehoofed.

“No, I’ve got a coltfrien-“

“Who.”

“Red.” Ivan, who previously looked to be calculating what possible accidents he could send a pony through the mail, softened up as he considered the admission. He shrugged. Salad supposed that meant she didn’t have to bargain for anyponys life. “…and…”

“And?”

“Well, I’ve also got a marefriend.”

“Herd?”

“Sort of... I kind of get the feeling we're just kind of feeling it out right now.”

“Ah.” He said. “…problem?”

“Uh…” There wasn’t a problem really. Actually, upon reflection, she had it a load better than she deserved.

“…how… do I keep them?”

“Work the shaft.”

“…Alright, there are two reasons I’m not kicking you.”

“Mm?”

“One is that you’re standing next to a stove and I don’t want to burn you.”

“And?”

“If you had sprung that on anypony else, I would’ve laughed my flank off.” Salad conceded as she chopped vegetables. “Seriously though. What do you do to make Cheerilee happy?” And though that question left her open for all sorts of double meanings, Ivan had his fun already and took her seriously.

Ivan paused a moment before he answered.

“…Love her.”

“…I don’t know if I can do that.” Said Salad. “It’s a… well…”

“Took time.” Ivan said. “Eventually.”

“Huh. Really?”

“Mm.” He said. “Don’t try. Won’t work.”

“…just let it happen?”

“Enjoy the ride.” He said. “Comes natural.”

“Like you’re some expert…”

“Pot and kettle.” He shot back. Salad sighed.

“…anything I could make Red? I’ll grill him later on maybe making something for Fluttershy, but I’d like to… surprise him with something.”

“Peaches.” Ivan said.

“…not apples?”

“Not predictable.” Ivan said, looking back at her. “Don’t start.”

“…so he likes peaches?”

“Yes.”

“Just making sure. I’ll see if I can find something interesting. You can maybe have first taste to make sure I get it right.” And Ivan appeared to already be looking forward to it.

“…is there a library around here somewhere?” She asked after a bit. “Cheerilee doesn’t have any cook books, and I want to try something new for the peach… thing.”

“Town Square. Tree.”

“…Oh, that huge tree? The library near it?”

“No. Tree.”

“…You’re bucking with me.”

“Never.”

“Alright, that’s a lie. You told me to work the shaft.”

“Works.”

“…I’m not talking to you anymore.”

“Kay.”

“…alright forget that.” She said after a few minutes. “So if I go into town, and there isn’t a library that is also a tree, I’m holding you responsible”

“Neat.”

“Don’t take me lightly. I’ll knife you.”

“Cool.”

“…I’ll ruin dinner.” That got his attention.

“…monster.”

“Don’t you forget it.”

“Ivan, I hate your parents.” Cheerilee said as she walked in the door.

“Why?” Ivan asked, looking almost like he was expecting this.

“Because your mom wouldn’t stop trying to see if I had the ‘soul of the warrior’ and wouldn’t leave me alone until I finally got fed up and bucked her in the mouth. Knocked out one of her teeth. After Colgate put it back in, your dad wouldn’t stop going on about how hot the whole thing was. Then they started bugging me about our sex life.”

“Yeah that sounds like them. Also mom doesn’t actually believe in the ‘soul of the warrior’, she and Dad probably just wanted to see where your breaking point was.” Salad said over her shoulder.

“…now I really hate them. The worst part is they aren’t letting me keep hating them.”

“Oh?” the stallion asked, eyebrow quirked.

“…well we talked a bit after that, because they wouldn’t really let me leave just yet, they told me how thankful they were that I was around for you when you needed somepony. Then they hugged me and said they’d always owe me for helping bring their son back to them.” Cheerilee frowned. “I think that whole thing with the warrior spiel was only because they knew they could say that and get out of trouble instantly.”

“…sounds like them.” Salad concluded. “Dad’s a professional troll and Mom just likes to have fun. You should’ve seen what they did to me.”

“Oh?”

“Well they kind of did this thing where they painted me as some sort of whorse out for Red and Shy’s respective plots and wouldn’t stop until I pulled out almost every dirty thing I knew how to say in Prench, which made Shy faint because somehow they planned it and knew she was bilingual and then… after… we…” Salad then came to the saddest realization of her entire life.

“…what happened?”

“…afterward we had a talk about feelings, fell asleep in eachother’s hooves, had another talk about our feelings when we woke up, and decided to give being a herd a try. I just realized that I owe the fact I’m dating two of the most attractive specimens in maybe all of Equestria to my borderline abusive trolling parents. Buck my life.”

“…yeah, you’re right, that really does beat what they did to me.” Cheerilee said. “Ivan, did they do anything to you?”

“Nope.”

“…you’re making it up to me later.”

“Gladly.” Ivan said, reminding himself to thank said trolling parents. All the cards seemed to be coming up him ever since they arrived.

…though the card that came up Salad getting a former model and Big Bucking Macintosh (if Mac wasn’t kidding, that actually was his middle name) was kind of a big one.

--

Salad stepped out of Cheerilee's house and into the afternoon sun, wondering to herself how sweet Red and Shy liked their dessert.

Here, it's almost as sweet as you.

Ugh. Cliche. If she weren't in public, she'd probably bang her head against a wall or something.

Besides, that wouldn't even work on Red. He was a guy.

I made a lot of this, and figured you might want some.

“Oh, good afternoon!”

No, that made it seem just a bit too much like she didn't care. The whole point was letting them know she did care while avoiding turning into some half-witted bimbo over the prospect of romance.

“Erm... excuse me?”

Hey, felt like doing something nice.

...but she just didn't do nice. They might think she was some kind of changeling in disguise or something-

“Oh, did you want something?” Salad realized that there was a unicorn in front of her, attempting conversation.

“Well, not in particular. A word, if you aren't busy.” White coat and violet curls. Also a good friend of Ivan's. The name escaped her though.

Something itched at the back of her mind. A warning.

...can't be any worse than Rainbow Dash.

“Eh, I'm not too busy as long as the library stays open.” She had pretty much everything she thought she'd need to make the dessert, no matter what it was. She hoped at least.

“We have ages, dear. I've actually been meaning to speak to you for some time now.” The unicorn smiled charmingly, falling into step alongside the scarred mare.

“Oh yeah?” Salad asked, tilting her head.

“Your brother and landlord are personal friends of mine. And from what I hear, you've been growing close to two other friends of mine.”

“Red and Shy?”

“Indeed.” She said, somewhat amused by the nicknames. “On that note, I don't believe we were ever properly introduced. My name is Rarity. It's a pleasure, darling.”

“Salad Shooter. Don't call me 'darling'.”

“Ah, my apologies.” To Salad's mild surprise, Rarity didn't look very put off.

“...You talked to them first, didn't you?”

“Best to consult the knowledgeable before traversing new ground. I was warned you might be a bit abrasive. Provided you don't intend to offend, we'll have no problems.”

“...well good, I guess.” One of the entire reasons she did it was because ponies a little put off were easier for her to deal with. Equal ground was something she didn't do often.

“Now, I was curious, what exactly sparked that brawl with Rainbow Dash?”

“You heard about that?”

“Though Fluttershy is far more qualified to be stitching wounds, she isn't the only one who knows how. Speaking of... what was that I heard about cleats?”

“I happened to be wearing them when that idiot jumped me. So I put them to good use.”

“Why ever would she do a thing like that?”

“Misunderstanding.”

“What about?”

“Things.”

“Involving...?”

“Stuff.”

“...Are you goi-”

“No.”

“...I begin to see the resemblance.” Rarity said with a sigh. “Ivan is much the same at times.”

“We haven't seen each other in ten years. How could we resemble eachother?” Salad asked.

“Some things, I find, are meant to be.” Well that would explain Ivan taking cues from Mom and Dad, despite their absence.

At the very least, he was taking the cues that wouldn't make her want to slice him tip to tail and ditch him in a ditch.

“...true that.”

“Are you free for tea? Perhaps we could find something you're actually comfortable talking about?”

“Ah...” Salad decided that, since Rarity was Ivan's friend, she should at least try nice. “Alright, gonna be honest here, I'm trying to figure out a good reason to let me say no.”

Baby steps. Technical progress?

“...I can't say I've ever been turned down so... directly before.”

“Yeah, it's just, I don't really know you at all, I get the feeling we have nothing in common, and I just think it'd be better for the both of us if we just pretended this never happened.”

“Goodness, you're acting as if I'm asking you to a lunch date.”

“So yeah.” Salad continued, ignoring that entirely, “We'd probably just spend five or so minutes talking about nothing, run out of nothing to talk about, and then it'd get awkward, and that's not really worth the trouble, is it? It's not you, it's us.”

“It really is a good thing there's nopony really listening in, there would be all sorts of misconceptions...” Rarity mused.

“...so, uh, bye.”

“Oh, before you go, I do believe there are one or two things we have in common.” Rarity said offhandedly, looking a bit devious.

“...and those are?” Salad asked skeptically.

“Fluttershy and Big Macintosh, of course.” She said with a smile. “Granted, I don't see him as often as I see her. However, one of my other best friends is his sister. I'm sure we could have much to talk about.”

...Her first instinct was spot on. This one was dangerous.

Yes, there was the temptation to get to know Fluttershy and Red better through Rarity, and then surprise them both by saying and doing the right things. Endear herself to them so it would take longer before they realized letting her in might be a mistake.

And for what?

Rarity was after something. Tossing that name around in Salad's head had her recall the other times she had seen this mare in greater clarity. A gossip hound was inviting her into her parlor.

She... possibly wasn't that bad, considering that she hadn't condemned Ivan after discovering his crime. The fact remained though that she was attempting to manipulate Salad into something, and whether it was good or not, Salad didn't dance to strings.

“...Pass.” She said, and Rarity's face fell. She probably hadn't expected another refusal.

...now that Salad thought about it, that moment was the first sign of Rarity losing her composure. It had been calm confidence up until an unexpected failure.

She expected all of what happened except for my saying no. Was this planned? How far back? How far forward?

...Paranoia started setting in, even if Salad herself thought the conspiracy idea was a tad ridiculous. But... it didn't seem impossible.

“...Might I ask why?” Rarity inquired, having made herself look somewhat detached. Salad took a guilty thrill at the sight of it.

I don't even know what your plans were, but they were totally foiled, yeah?

“I've got things to do. Talk to you later, maybe.”

“Indeed.” Rarity said, and they parted ways.

And as Salad made her way to the center of town, she wondered if she had done the right thing.

She snorted, shoving the doubt away. Whether it was right or not, it was safe.

--

Oh, what to do...

Rarity had heard a story here and there about the antisocial sister of her friend Ivan, sometimes involving some form of creative threat or whispers on her missing wing as if it wasn't something anyone could see for themselves.

Then one spa session later she had heard from Fluttershy that she had befriended the mare in question. Rarity admitted to a double take at the news.

She herself had planned to approach Salad at some point, given her attachment to Ivan, but somehow her totally-opposite-of-Salad friend had managed to get through that impenetrable shell first. And she was also uncharacteristically tight lipped on the circumstances that had allegedly made them friends.

Rarity did indeed have an ulterior motive to attempting afternoon tea with Salad. And that was to get to the bottom of something that didn't quite add up.

And, if Fluttershy were in danger somehow, she would deal with the mare in an appropriate manner.

--

Salad walked into the square, moving toward the tree. Sure enough, she could see a door at the base and windows here and there...

...Literal treehouse. Where were you when I was a filly?

There wasn't an open or closed sign, no hours posted nearby... and from what Ivan said, the librarian actually lived in it. So what did she do?

Just walk in? It's a library, yeah, but then it's also somepony's house. Would I get arrested?

...buck it, I can't be the first to make the mistake if this is wrong.

Salad turned the knob and walked in.

...that's a lot of books.

She had never actually been in a library before, given that involved going out into the general public more then necessary. Whenever she wanted a cookbook, she asked one of her parents to get one for her.

She ignored the fact that there was nopony around and browsed the titles. The door was unlocked, so there was probably somepony around somewhere.

“Oh, welcome!” Said a purple unicorn that had just walked into the large room.

Speak of the draconequs.

“Hey.” Salad returned as she moved her way down to 'C'. Seemed like a good place to start looking for a cookbook.

“...can I help you find anything?” Salad almost said no, but then she remembered that the sooner she found what she was looking for, the sooner she could leave and get working on whatever recipe looked best.

“...I'm looking for a cookbook. Desserts. Any hiding around here somewhere?”

“Oh, those are just over here...” The unicorn walked toward a part of 'C', drawing out a few tomes with magenta magic.

...why do I even know the word 'magenta'? I don't even think I've ever heard it said. Ever.

“Those'll probably do.” Salad said, glancing at the titles.

“Great! Let's get these checked out...”

“Hang on, I'd actually like to look at 'em first.” Salad said with a raised hoof. “I don't have room for three books in my bags.”

“Oh, alright. Table's over here...” Twilight floated the books across the room, resting them on the nearest table, and Salad nodded to her as she followed.

Alright, let's see what we got here.

...Peach Pie? I already made a pie. Next.

“So, um...” And the unicorn was still there.

“I'll call you if I want to take something out.”

Smoothies? I don't need a recipe to know how to throw stuff in a blender.

“Well, actually... you're Ivan's sister?”

“Forgot me already? Kinda thought I was memorable.” In order to make the unicorn feel extra awkward, Salad stretched her single wing for emphasis.

“Well, no, I didn't forget...”

Peach Bruschetta? Yeah, might work, but it'd be like I brought by a plate of hors d'oeuvres. Rejected.

“I, um... actually heard that you made friends with Fluttershy-”

“Alright, how does everypony know who my friends are?” Salad asked, beginning to get a bit irritated. “Rarity already cornered me earlier trying to get me to spill all the juicy details, not that there are any, and it's like everypony tells everypony everything.”

“Well, we are kind of a small town...”

“Oh, great, that means that I have to keep even more clammed up then I already am to keep my personal life a total secret.” Salad sighed.

“...Is this really such a big deal?”

“A lot of the jimmies rustlers aren't, usually. But at the end of the day, your jimmies are still rustled.”

Peach crisp gets an honourable mention, but... maybe I can find something better...

“I'm Twilight Sparkle, by the way. One of Fluttershy's best friends.”

“Salad Shooter.”

Alright, next book.

“So... what exactly are you looking for?”

“A recipe.”

“Do you like baking?”

“Sure.”

“...is... is this what you did to Rarity?”

“You're obviously the smart one.”

“Well I don't like to brag-”

“Good to know there's going to be no bragging.” Salad cut her off as she flipped a page.

...Peach and blackberry custard? Looks delicious and it's something different. This'll do.

“Hey, I'm gonna take this book out.”

“Do you have your card on you?”

“...it's always something...” Salad sighed. “Fine, this probably won't be the last time I'm here, is there a form or something I need to fill out?”

“Um... where did I put those...?” Salad rolled her eyes, and wondered if it would be better to just copy the thing down.

Just then a card floated by and set itself on the table in a green aura.

“Oh, sup Bro?”

Ivan shrugged in response as he approached.

“Oh, hello Ivan! What can I do for you?”

Ivan replied by taking out a book with magic and setting it on the table, open to a particular page. Salad didn't pay attention, instead wondering if it would be possible to get out before the librarian tried to pry into her personal life again.

A totally hidden trap door in the floor suddenly opened and out popped a pink pony with a frizzy mane.

“It's time for a party Twilight! Here's your invitation!”

The tossed card hit the lavender unicorn in the face and slowly fell to the floor. By the look on Twilight's face, she hadn't noticed despite it maybe hitting her in the eye.

“...Pinkie. We are going to sit down right now and you're going to tell me how there is a trap door in the floor of my library, where it leads, how you found it, and how many other ponies have access to it.”

“Okie Dokie Lokie!” Pinkie replied, climbing out of the hole. “Oh, but first, here's your invitation!”

“Thanks but no than-” Salad cut herself half way through her rejection when her eyes noticed something suspicious about the card. More accurately, what was written on it.

“...this is a party for me.”

“Yuppers!”

“...This... you're throwing a...”

“Are you shocked speechless? Is your heart about to grow three sizes?”

“Don't be so surprised, Pinkie throws a party for everypony at some point.” Twilight said, finally recovering from the shock of Pinkie coming out of her floor and picking up her own invitation. She was already looking forward to the party, ready to learn a new lesson about friendship and write a letter to-

The card read: 'Celebrating Fluttershy, Big Macintosh, and Salad Shooter finding happiness in eachother's hooves! B.Y.O.B.!'

“You...” Salad began, visibly shaking in anger. “...how... how many of these have you given out?”

“Just two...”

“Just these? Great, let me tell you-”

“...bags full of 'em!” Pinkie finished, grinning.

Salad nearly tackled the foolish pony down the trap door, out of sight of her chivalrous brother and the random librarian so that she could make sure she would regret taking her personal life and literally handing out invitations to strangers to come and be a part of it.

Regret it every second she spent recovering in the hospital.

But no. She had a creed of not throwing the first stone, and this mare was completely unaware that what she did made Salad want to commit murder. Also Ivan's reflexes were good enough that Salad might not be successful in the initial lunge.

“...do you realize what you've done?” She asked instead.

“I planned a party to celebrate two of my friends finding somepony special enough to jump into a big bowl of lovey dovey cake batter and try to bake themselves into something delicious and wonderful for everypony involved?”

“No.” Salad said. “What you did was take something that none of us wanted spread around because we're still bucking figuring it out, and gave two bags of invitations worth of random ponies permission to start sticking their noses into it.”

“...that's bad?” Pinkie's smile started to disappear as she began to realize just how angry she had made the one winged mare.

“Shy and Red are going to have to deal with a bunch of ponies invading their privacy. And then they're going to deal with a bunch of ponies telling them exactly what they think about them throwing in with a cripple like me. And I'm going to have to deal with a bunch of overprotective friends swooping down and trying to threaten me about things that everypony who isn't an idiot knows I wouldn't do anyway.”

“You're dating her?!” Shouted Rainbow Dash as she zipped in through an open window and right up into Salad's grill. “If you hurt her, I'm gonna-” Salad, having had quite enough of Dash poking her in the chest with each word (and really, everything up to that point in general), spun around and suckerbucked her in the face. Her space was invaded, and Dash was threatening her with physical harm. That counted as the first stone.

Taken by surprise, Dash flew backwards headfirst and hit a wall.

“Point bucking proven!” Salad announced as the chromatic pegasus tried to shake the stars out of her vision.

“Y-you... I...” Pinkie, in a state of shock, babbled intelligibly to herself as Salad turned to her, eyes cold.

“I'm going to go home until this blows over. And you are going to cancel this party and never talk to me again.” Rainbow Dash had recovered by that point, and was stopped an inch from Salad's skull by a green shield.

And Salad, unopposed, exited the library and jumped away.

“What the buck is that mare's problem?!” Dash growled when it became apparent Ivan wasn't going to let her pulverize Salad.

“Pinkie.” Ivan said, ignoring Dash. The party mare turned to him, still in a state of shock.

“Um...?”

“Told you.”

“But this isn't a welcome party! This is a party for two of my friends finding-”

“Told you.”

“B-but...”

“Needs this?” Ivan asked. Pinkie had surprised him once before, and he wondered if there was an ulterior motive this time.

But he was disappointed to see that she shook her head, on the verge of tears.

Ivan sighed.

“Cheer up.” He told her. “We'll fix this.”

“I didn't mean-”

“You wouldn't.” Ivan agreed.

“Is... is she always like this?” Twilight asked, having finally put aside the fact that the rude pony that had done a masterful job of brushing off every attempt at conversation she made was dating her incredibly emotionally fragile friend, and a pony who was reputed to be one of the most polite and honourable male specimens in existence.

How does that even happen? It boggles the mind! Romance can't possibly work that way in real life!

And she was getting off track again. She snapped herself out of it fast enough to catch Ivan slowly nodding.

“Not bad.” He said. “...Rough.” Yes, that probably about summed her up.

“She... I've heard a few things about what's been going on with her.” Twilight went on. “She hasn't... really been doing anything wrong. But because of that, she feels justified in dealing with it in any way she wants, whether it exacerbates the problem or not. Acting badly in a way that's hard to call her out on.”

“Mm.” Ivan nodded. He was about to add his own two cents when something occurred to him.

“...Rarity?” He asked Pinkie.

“Nope... I wanted to deliver hers last. She gets kinda loco in the coco about relationships and stuff like that... She'd spend the whole time trying to find out how I know every time something like this happens.”

“...so how do you-”

“Twilight.” Ivan interrupted the pursuit of scientific knowledge from the checkout counter, with the cookbook Salad had been looking through just before Pinkie happened.

“...Now?”

“Cooks when angry.” Ivan clarified. “Will help.”

“Well alright... Where did you put your card?”

--

Salad almost made it home. But even before she hit the ground, she noticed the front door was barred.

“Howdy.” Mac offered as he got to his hooves and dusted himself off. Fluttershy turned to see her, but avoided her eye.

Salad found it odd that her first instinct was not in fact to check if there was an open window she could leap into.

“...Hiya.”

“Pinkie find ya first?”

“...yeah.”

“Ah.” He said. “Well, c'mon.”

“Where are we going?”

“Fluttershy's cottage. If she'll have us.”

“Of course...” Shy murmured just loud enough for them to hear.

“Not like... I don't want to or anything...” Salad said, craning her head to see if she had been followed. “...but why are we heading way over there?”

“'Cause it's the most out o' the way place we got, we'll be the only ponies there, and neither of us want to see ya all locked up in yer room again.”

“...Good reasons. Lead the way.”

Minutes passed as they took the long way around, avoiding the town.

“So, what happened?” Red asked. “When Pinkie found ya Ah mean.”

“I didn't hurt her, if that's what you're wondering.” Salad said.

“Did ya hurt anypony?”

“...Dash popped in the window and started threatening me. I bucked her in the head.”

“Salad...” Fluttershy started, definitely disapproving.

“She was up again a second later, she was fine. I hit her way harder that one time we actually fought.”

Mac shrugged. It was the sort of thing that would probably be commonplace between the two.

“I was beyond angry, and Dash was trying to be the alpha mare.”

“How was Pinkie?” Mac asked.

“Buck, I dunno. She regretted it when I told her what kind of mistake she made. Wasn't paying much attention after Dash busted in. Left pretty much right after.”

“Fair.” Mac said. “Ya alright?”

“I...” Salad remembered the last time she had been in a mood like this. When he had asked her that and explained that he wasn't taking sides, just worrying.

She almost told him yes to stop his worrying, but the word was too heavy to force out.

...I don't want to tell lies to them.

“...No. I'm not.”

“Wanna talk 'bout it?”

“I don't know.”

“Well, say what feels right, or don't. We've got a walk ahead of us.”

“A-and... and you could, maybe, if you want to...” Fluttershy tried, fluffing and fidgeting her feathers nervously, “...spend... the night?”

“...Like... with you?” Salad asked, turning back to the trailing pegasus.

“Macintosh told me that... you, um, don't like to be around other ponies when you're upset. It's why we waited for you outside Cheerilee's house.”

“...so...?”

“If you wanted... you could take my bed for the night, and take a day away from town. It's very quiet. A-and... you wouldn't be all by yourself.”

“...I'll think about it.” Salad said. The offer wasn't anything but innocent, and it sounded worlds more appealing to staying within the town's limits and potentially having to fend off Dash again. Or... anypony, really.

A few more minutes passed as Salad spent a bit of time thinking. Her rage was all but gone, and she felt relaxed with her-

Friends? Lovers? Kindred spirits? Something else?

For now, she'd settle for friends until she was sure their arrangement was good to last.

Fact was, she was relaxed in their presence. And the thought of spending another night with at least one of them nearby after the earlier events sounded incredible compared to her original plans of locking herself in her room again and brooding for a day or so before work forced her out of hiding.

They just made the hard stuff easier.

...Ivan. I think I'm starting to understand.

“I'm... afraid.” She admitted quietly. She took a moment to steady herself now that she was letting it out, and Mac and Fluttershy waited patiently as the three walked.

“...She took something from me that... that was personal and just spread it around. I know that... herds aren't really uncommon, but they don't normally involve ponies like me. I made sure the party wasn't happening, but now a bunch of ponies know, and I'm pretty sure not a lot of them really like me.”

“Are you... afraid of how they'll treat you?” Shy asked as she inched closer to Salad's side, putting her between her and Red.

“No. I know how they'll treat me. But I'm afraid of how they'll treat both of you.”

“We ain't ashamed of ya.” Red said, eyes facing forward. “Trust us on that.”

“I do.” Salad returned. “But I don't want you to have to put up with any of what I have to deal with. Ever.”

“It'll be a problem eventually.” Red said. “But for now, we'll just pretend it don't exist until somepony decides to make it an issue.”

“...what then?”

“Then, they better hope they don't cross any lines.” Red said. “Ah don't take kindly to ponies who can't respect me or mine.”

“Nopony hurts my friends.” Fluttershy agreed, quiet as ever. And the conviction in her voice surprised Salad.

...Steel, when her friends are threatened. Her own words from a while back. She... wants to protect me. They both do.

How... what do I do about this?

Feathers spread over her back as Fluttershy pulled Salad into her side, leading her toward the cottage that had come into view.

Salad leaned into the other pegasus, thoughts starting and stopping short at random as she tried to find an appropriate response.

...I'll protect them too I guess.

Thinking Ivan was going to be the only real pony in her life was a little silly, in hindsight. If Ivan understood, why wouldn't others?

There were still all sorts of ponies out there that were going to give her a hard time. She would never forget about them. But for now, she was being taken to a place where they wouldn't matter, at least for a little while. And, at the risk of tempting fate, all that was ahead of her for now was an afternoon with two ponies she was starting to see a future with. Romantic or not.

Life was, for the first time... good.

...I give up. Let's see where this takes me.

Mac opened the door for them and they all entered the cottage. And Shy's feathers slid off of Salad's back as their host made her way to the kitchen, presumably to put the kettle on.

Salad took a moment while Red settled himself on the couch, and followed.

Salad had been in Shy's kitchen before. She'd made a meal, so she knew where Shy kept the things and stuff. Salad remembered the ingredients for that custard, and while it would be better if the recipe was in front of her, she was confident she could improvise and still make something tasty.

Given the hour of the day, it probably wouldn't be very long before dinner happened, and they were probably going to have it there.

Custard always took a while though. They would have to wait until tomorrow.

...But Salad had the day off work tomorrow. And an open offer to stay the night.

“Hey, Shy.”

“Yes?”

“I'm gonna make something. Can you stay out of the kitchen? I'll bring out the kettle and stuff when it goes off.”

“Y-you don't have to-”

“I know. What's your point?”

“...I, um... I guess...” Shy shook her head and smiled at Salad in a way that made her really want to get the custard right.

“Thank you.”

“Thank me after you get to try it.”

“I'm thanking you because you want to surprise me.” Shy said, still smiling. “Macintosh would thank you too. It feels nice.”

“W-well...” Embarrassment crawled up into her colored cheeks, and Salad wondered why. The fact she was doing this in the first place was to tell them she cared. She was succeeding.

...so why was she feeling so awkward?

“I-If you, um... j-just go.”

Fluttershy hummed to herself, amused about something. “I'll see you soon then.”

“Sure...”

...and now that she was alone in a kitchen, her kingdom, she could get to work. And deal with the mushy gooey stuff later.

--

About an hour had passed. Salad had taken a break for tea and smalltalk, but had returned to the kitchen soon after. Either whatever she was making was incredibly complicated, or she was working meticulously.

Normally thinking of either of those things would've made her go into the kitchen and try to make sure whatever pony that was going to that kind of trouble know that it wasn't necessary, but the longer she thought about Salad trying to please them, the more she wanted to smile and wrap herself up in the warm feelings it caused.

Thinking about a pony who was so... mean sometimes, acting the way she was, went a long way toward making her feel special.

When she had confessed this to Macintosh, he had agreed. And then he invited her to the couch he was lying on.

And she was feeling so good about herself and the turns her life was taking, she didn't even stutter more then four times when she said yes!

And so she found herself cuddled up on Macintosh's broad stalliony chest, just like several dreams she had and told nopony about except for that one spa day with Rarity and also that one time Rainbow Dash traded secrets with her (a tradition from flight school) but nopony else knew. And yes, it was a bit of an ordeal keeping her heart rate in control, but she was being so assertive and it was totally awesome!

Oh Rainbow Dash if you could see me now!

Actually no she didn't want that at all, not really.

Hoofsteps came from her kitchen, and Salad appeared in the doorway.

--

The scarred mare noticed what she had walked in on, and by the look of her, felt awkward about it.

“Done now?” Mac asked from under Shy. Salad nodded. “Well, what're ya doin' just standin' over there then?”

“Uh...”

“An' by that Ah mean why aren't ya over here with us?”

“I know what you meant, idiot.” She snapped, flushing.

“Well, mah chest is big enough for ya both. Ya should know, this won't be the first time.”

“...fine.” She said, walking over and looking over them. Where was she supposed to fit, the way Shy was spread over him?

“O-oh, sorry...” Fluttershy murmured as she tried to move for her.

“Just lift yer wing.” He said, and Fluttershy did, nudging over a tad. Mac took a foreleg off her back, and there was a place left for Salad to squeeze into.

Salad hesitated. A thought came to her that climbing in there would be the first actual display of affection she initiated.

...actually, might be the first since she was a foal.

“D-do you still...” Shy started when a few seconds passed, and Salad stopped her thoughts to better listen.

“...do you still think you don't have a place?”

“Can't see why she would.” Red drawled. “It's right there in front o' her.”

...I guess it is. Huh.

Another second to survey the place in question before she clamored onto the couch. Feathers slid over her back, and Red's foreleg wrapped around her, pulling her further in and pressing her more against them both.

Still tense, her head was up. And against her will, teenage filly thoughts started invading her head again.

I'm kind of positioned perfectly. I could kiss him right now.

...did he do that on purpose? Is that what he wants?

What about Shy? She probably wouldn't say no.

...assuming she can even say no to anything.

Maybe they don't really want that though, they weren't making out when I stepped in.

Maybe because they knew that I can't make up my bucking mind when it comes to them.

They're being patient. Should I kiss them anyway? Am I being a tease? I thought you had to be sexy to be a tease.

“Somethin' on mah face?” Red asked teasingly.

--

“What are you looking at? Something on my face?” Salad asked, as she tried to calm her racing heart.

The pony above her didn't reply, instead leaning her face down...

--

Salad grimaced as the memory unearthed itself, and she remembered why affection scared her. So she lay her head down in the crook of his neck, and kept her face hidden from view.

Besides, even if she could start something, if either of them didn't want it, they'd shove her off, and then she'd have to leave and it'd all be ruined-

Later later later I'll think about that LATER.

“Are ya alright?”

“Yeah.” She was telling the truth this time, aside from that reminder of darker times, she was doing just fine.

...describing it like that made it seem worse than it was. She was fine.

“You're awfully tense.” Shy noted from her side.

Oh it's nothing, just thinking on whether grabbing one of you and starting up some sloppy makeouts would ever be a good idea or not.

...huh, could we all make out with eachother? Like a threeway- oh Celestia now I'm thinking of threeways what the flapping-

“Yeah?”

“Are you stressed at all?”

“...Between my parents, what happened earlier, and general paranoia, maybe a little. It'll go away.”

“Would you like a massage?”

--

I'm being so assertive! Yaaay!

--

Yes. Salad's apparently bipolar subconscious piped up.

“No.” She said instead, in no mood to be put in a vulnerable position.

“O-oh...”

“Ya sure?” Red asked. “Mah sister had one once when she pulled a few muscles. Said Fluttershy's mighty good at it.”

“I'd rather not.”

“Ya don't know what yer missin'.”

“I'll survive.” And just in case Shy was hurt at all by the refusal, Salad raised her wing and returned her embrace.

“...Alright.” Red gave up. Pausing a moment or two before asking: “So, what were ya makin'?”

“A surprise. And dinner.”

“Y-you didn't have to-” Shy started, but Salad was having none of that.

“No. I didn't.” Salad said. “Egg timer'll go off when I've gotta take it out of the oven. And the surprise is in the fridge. It'll be ready tomorrow.”

“What's in the oven?”

“Food.”

“...Ah'm givin' up now.”

“You're learning.”

After that, nopony really had much of a desire to say anything.

--

Big Mac stood by the door hugging Fluttershy goodnight, and Salad stood by waiting for her turn.

And when it came, she found it unusual she had no trouble whatsoever walking up and wrapping her forelegs around his big neck.

“G'night Salad.” He said, and something sounded wrong about it.

...Ah. That's what it is.

“Call me Sally.” She said as she held him a little tighter and stroked his side with her wing, glad that from there, neither of them could see her flushing face.

“...Alright, Sally.” And she found she quite liked the way it sounded with his accent. And his voice.

And also the fact that he was saying it.

She released the hug after she was sure her cheeks weren't burning.

“Ah'll be back tomorrow after the work's done.” Red said, smiling. “Ah kinda want to know what ya made.”

Both mares nodded, and the stallion took his leave.

They stood there for a moment before Salad turned to Shy, avoiding her eyes.

“You can too.” She said. “If you want.”

“D-do you want me to?”

“Why would I offer if I didn't?”

“...Okay.” Shy said. Salad scoffed to herself.

She's acting like I just offered to take her to bed.

“S-so, I'll take the couch tonight, and you can take my bed.”

Aw hay naw.

“This is your place. Bed's yours. Which couch do you want me bunking on?”

“O-oh, no, I insist-”

“That would work, if you could out-insist me.” Salad said with a raised eyebrow.

Filly, please. You know this is a losing battle.

“B-but... the bed's better then the couch...”

“Yeah. It's why you're taking it.” Salad said over her shoulder as she trotted back into the living room. “Got a spare blanket somewhere?”

“Y-yes...” If Salad were paying more attention, she would've noticed how nervous the other mare had become. Shy was gone before Salad turned back though.

When the yellow pegasus returned, Salad was already settled into the couch.

“Thanks.” She said.

“S-sweet dreams Sally.” It sounded good from her too.

“Usually I do when you're around.” Oh my Celestia, worst joke ever, that sounded so cheesy what the flapping buck was I thinking-

Salad had her back to the mare when she snuggled into the blanket, so she wasn't prepared for Shy to lean in and nuzzle her fondly.

She almost scooted backwards into the embrace, but that would've caused her to fall off the couch. And she had made herself look stupid enough for the night.

...though maybe I should be cheesy more often.

Her marefriend's hoofsteps ascended the stairs, and Salad relaxed into her makeshift bed.

The blanket was warm, and every time she inhaled, it was like Fluttershy was right there with her.

Hope they like that custard...

...

...wait.

Salad opened her eyes and took a closer look at the blanket she had been given.

“...Celestia, Shy.”

A few seconds later, she was opening the door to Shy's room finding her curled up on a bed missing it's thick warm quilt.

Startled, she shrunk away from the Salad's glare.

“I'm going to assume since you didn't get another blanket for yourself, this is the only one you have.”

“U-um...”

“...Alright. Between the two of us, I will get the worse arrangement whether you like it or not.” She declared, leveling a hoof at the quivering pegasus on the bed. “I dare you to tell me otherwise.”

“...d-did... um... w-would...”

“Now take your bucking quilt and go to-”

“Would you like to s-share?”

“And how the hay would we do that?”

“...Share the... the bed?”

Salad blinked. She opened her mouth, decided what she was about to say was stupid, and closed it again.

Well DUH. Like, EPIC duh. Also I should've seen that coming a mile away.

“I... I won't take the only blanket and leave you in the cold.” Shy said. “I don't like thinking about that. Not while I'm wrapped up and warm. Not while you're in my house. N-not while...” She trailed off, shrinking back into herself while she awaited an answer.

...Well I did dare her to tell me otherwise.

...note to self, never dare Fluttershy to do anything again.

“...You're alright with that?” Salad asked, uncertain. “Don't lie to me.”

Play it cool. Don't act like you just got invited into your mare's bed. This is possibly your last chance to actually wear some pants in this thing.

“You... would you... force me to take the blanket for myself?”

--

Assertive levels are off the charts! Captain, what do we do!?

What would Rainbow Dash do?

...we don't have nearly enough swagger for that.

Plan B! Just go with it!

--

Salad took a deep breath.

And she sighed, defeated.

I am so whipped.

“Fine, we'll play it your way.”

--

Yaaay! A thousand times yaaay!

--

Salad jumped up onto the bed, and spread the blanket out.

She lay down, facing away from the mentally cheering Fluttershy.

It's not like we haven't slept together before. This is nothing new.

A minute or two after they had settled, Salad felt a tentatively searching hoof on her wither.

Salad waited a moment as it moved back and forth, as if Shy wasn't exactly sure of what she wanted to do.

Slowly, Salad moved backwards into her waiting forelegs.

“Just ask next time. Or take.” She said. “No real reason I'd say no.”

“...Alright.” She nuzzled into the back of Salad's neck, and enveloped her in feathers. “Goodnight... again.”

“Night, Shy.”

So comfortable was she, that she had completely forgotten about the trouble she'd have to deal with the following day.

...maybe I should sleep over again sometime. This is nice...