“Hey Red.”

Big Mac bucked the tree he was working on and turned to greet the only pony who ever called him ‘Red’. He supposed he didn’t mind since he didn’t want to know what else she could call him.

“Howdy Salad. How are ya?”

“Fine.” She said. “Bored.”

Big Mac shrugged. “Not a lot Ah can do about that.” He said, lumbering to another tree and giving it a buck too.

Salad pulled an apple out of one of the buckets.

“I’m hungry.”

“That’s nice.” He said, giving another tree a buck.

“…you’re gonna make me ask?”

“That’s normally how ya get things ya want.” Another buck.

Salad sighed. “Fine. Can I have an apple?”

“Ya didn’t eat before comin’ over here?”

“The shopping needs doing. Half the reason I’m out.” She reached her wing into her bags, and pulled out her wallet, dangling from where she had somehow looped it’s drawstring around the limb.

“Look, you want me to pay for it?”

“…Are ya askin’ me that just so Ah’ll give it to ya?”

“Yes.”

“…just take it.” Big Mac said. “No more freebies though. You want apples, work for ‘em or get ‘em at the stand in Ponyville.”

“Oh, work for them?” Salad asked, taking a large crunchy bite out of the fruit. “That’d be a good way to pass the time.”

“So’s grocery shopping.”

“This way I can get food without paying for it.”

“Now who said-“

“You did.” Said the pegasus as she trotted up to another tree. “So, any trick to hitting them?”

“…show me yer hooves.” Big Mac said. Salad rolled her eyes.

“I don’t wear the cleats all the time. Just when I’m out looking for trouble.” To placate him, she lifted a foreleg anyway. “See?”

“…Hm.” The stallion grunted. Salad took that as a ‘go ahead’.

“Great. So how’s this work?”

“Ya use yer connection with the earth ta find the sweet spot on each tree. Then ya buck it. Apples fall out.”

“No kiddin’?” Salad asked. “Well what if you don’t have a connection to the earth?”

“Wing it.” Big Mac said with a smirk as he bucked another tree.

“Oh, look at you, the most clever stallion in the world.” Salad snarked, looking her tree over.

Big Mac stopped a moment to watch as she surveyed the wood. Then she held her apple in her mouth as she turned and bucked it for all she was worth.

The tree emptied about half it’s apples into the buckets, but Big Mac could tell there could’ve been more if Salad had more muscle on her.

“…how’d ya manage that?”

“You and your ‘connection with the earth’ buck the same spot every time.” She said through the apple as she bucked the other half out. “You and your cowpony of a sister left marks.”

“…Ya get an apple for every five trees ya buck empty. If that’s what yer after.”

“An apple every four trees. You are getting my extremely sought after company out of it after all.”

“…seven trees.” The stallion said.

“Maybe I’ll just keep bucking and take what I think I earned.” Salad answered between bites.

“Careful ma’am.” Big Mac said. “Or we might have a problem.”

“Only if I’m unreasonable.” Said the pegasus as she raised an eyebrow. “You don’t think I’d fleece my only friend in this town, do you?”

“…Really?”

“Well Ivan’s family and sort of doesn’t count. And his marefriend’s spending more time with him then she does with me. Which I totally understand, but still. She and I kind of have more of an ‘understanding’ at the moment then actual friendship.” She tossed the finished apple core somewhere as she made her way to another tree. “You’re the only other pony in this whole place that has some sort of idea who I am. Well… except for those fillies Ivan likes, but you get what I’m saying.”

“Ah do.” The stallion said as he watched her buck another tree.

“So yeah. You’re part of a very exclusive club. That’s worth at least a few apples here and there, isn’t it?”

“Don’t push it now.” Big Mac said. “Most ponies have a bit more history before they get free apples.”

“Did you not see the free apple I just finished eating?”

“…tch.”

“Now come on, I’m taking the harvest if I buck more trees then you. That’d be reasonable I think.”

“…That it would, if ya owned the land, trees, and crop.”

“Keep your logic out of my plans.

“What happened ta not ‘gettin’ fleeced’?”

“I’m a mare. We’re known to change our minds when it’s convenient.” Salad answered, bucking another tree.

Big Mac raised an eyebrow, but decided thinking that one over was more trouble then it was worth.

He’d settle for bucking five times the trees the pegasus did anyway. Maybe her mouth wouldn’t run quite so much after.

--

Salad didn’t get tired as quickly as Big Mac suspected she would. Probably in part because she was pretty much in shape, he mused.

Her stamina paled in comparison to his own though. It wasn’t too long before she was resting and making conversation with him while she munched another apple.

“So how’ve you been?”

“Good.”

“…well that’s uninteresting.” She said as she tossed another core away. “Nothing happens to you, does it?”

“Lookin’ at ponies like yer brother, Ah’m rather glad it don’t. It’s more trouble then Ah care for.”

“…good point.”

“What about yerself?”

“Could be better. Scootaloo keeps trying to steal my bayonet.”

“…huh.”

“What’s worse, I’m probably going to have to put up with her a lot. I’ll have to keep it locked down all the time.”

“Well as long as she’s tryin’ to spend time with Ivan, Ah gu-“

“Oh no, not just that.”

“What, is she hangin’ with you now?” Salad scoffed.

“As if. The only reason Ivan hasn’t adopted her yet is because he’s working on getting a bracer. Then he can get a place to live and provide for a foal.”

“…that right?”

“Pretty much as soon as Ivan’s a warder, I’m ‘Auntie Salad’. Really didn’t expect it to be this soon.” The pegasus shrugged. “At least I don’t have to change any diapers yet.”

“Ya’d do that?”

“…well no, I wouldn’t. I guess I’m happy I don’t have Ivan needing help that involves diapers. Then he’d ask me and I’d have to laugh at him while sa-” Salad paused. “…you know what, I just realised I don’t care at all about any of that.”

“Ya don’t care about bein’ an aunt?”

“Well I guess if the squirt’s family, I’ll have to actually tolerate her. And maybe teach her a few pegasus tricks in order to give Ivan trouble later.”

“Pegasus tricks?” Big Mac stopped bucking trees for a moment. Considering his rather floundering social life, not a lot of other tribal magic really came up in conversation. He found himself mildly interested.

“I can’t teach her to fly at all, but that’s kind of already taken care of. I can teach her to be pretty mobile when she’s not in the air though. Dad’s a pegasus warder, and he taught me a thing or two.”

“Yeah?”

“I jump by using the air around me as a spring board. It’s a bit more complicated then that, but… well that’s kind of what it amounts to. A lot of pegasi take off to fly that way. Great way to go from zero to fast in a hurry.” Salad flexed her wing from where she lay, smirking.

“So if you know how to jump forward or sideways instead of just up, you’re pretty much the fastest thing since sound.”

“Did somepony say Rainbow Dash?”

“No.” Salad said, good mood seemingly vanished. “Go away.”

The chromatic pegasus landed and reclined on a cloud conveniently placed nearby.

“Aw come on, don’t be like that, you know you don’t hate the Dash. Hey, why don’t you tell me what happened after I left when that one unicorn tri-“

“How about no. Next question?”

“…yeah I’ve got a few now.” Dash said, sitting up and looking down at her curiously. “Did I interrupt anything? Or did I do anything wildly offensive when I introduced myself? What the hay is your problem?”

“My problem is that a technicolor featherduster came out of bucking nowhere and won’t take a hint.”

“…Alright, fine.” Dash said, scowling and spreading her wings. A few seconds later she was halfway to Ponyville.

“…what was that?” Big Mac asked. “Did she do anythin’ at all to make ya angry?”

“When she introduced herself the first time, she started talking herself up like she was a freaking Wonderbolt. Half the stuff that comes out of her face is probably self-appreciation. I don’t want to spend more time then I have to around a moron like that.”

“Well maybe if ya got to know her-“

“More trouble then it’s worth.” Salad dismissed.

“…if ya say so.” While Big Mac definitely didn’t agree with Salad’s methods, she could make her own mistakes as far as he was concerned. “Ya might want to be careful ya don’t reflect badly on Ivan though.”

“As if I could. The town’s practically eating out of his hooves after he made the front page back at the incident.”

“Ah’m just sayin’.” Salad sighed.

“Well whatever.” She got up and withdrew a small sack out of her saddlebags. “I wasn’t counting. I won’t take too many.” Big Mac watched as she trotted up to a bucket and started taking apples.

He was quite sure she took a few more then she was entitled to, but he didn’t mind too much.

“Headin’ out?”

“Yeah. Shopping has to get done sometime I guess. Later, Red.”

“See ya.” He said as he watched her go.

--

Ivan crumpled painfully against the tree Memry threw him at. To his credit though, he could still move enough to get out of the path of her falling tail.

“Twilight, I told you to call me when they started doing this again!” Dash complained as she landed next to the unicorn. “Hey, why are you watching? You said you thought this was ’juvenile’ and stuff.”

“Well, I’m the one who taught Ivan most of his spells, so I kind of want to see them in ac- oh for the Sun’s sake, Ivan! You have a freeze ray and she’s a reptile! Two plus two!"

“Not working!”

“Well maybe if you hit her with it?!”

“You try!” Twilight saw Memry’s head whip around and grin wildly at the prospect of another playmate.

“…shutting up.” The lavender mare said.

“Good!” Ivan replied, firing a blasting spell.

“…Wow, they’re really going at it today.” Dash said as the fight unfolded. She noticed the group of fillies cheering nearby. “Has he had to put up with angry parents and setting an example again?”

“Not since Memry told them how disappointed she'd be if Ivan couldn’t play with her anymore.”

“She kind of wins arguments, doesn’t she?”

“Yeah, well, you try arguing with a lamia.”

“Eh, if it’s impossible, I bet I co-look out!” Rainbow barely had time to scoop Twilight up and fly out of the path of a violently flying Memry.

“…think he did that on purpose?” Twilight asked.

“Nah, he’s the nice sibling.”

“…he is?”

“Have you talked to Salad?” Rainbow asked as she set Twilight down a fair distance away.

“Well no. Why?”

“I just got back from doing that. I barely got to say two things before she told me to just buck off.”

“Watch your language arou-“

“I would if they could hear me. I’m serious though! I was there for like two seconds and she told me to scram!”

“…And you didn’t do anything? Didn’t crash into her or something she had been preparing for months with meticulously grown ingredients-“

“Twilight, you’ve really got to learn to let things go. That was like two yea-“

“Two weeks.”

“That’s basically two years. And I made it up to you! We hugged and wrote a letter to the princess and I’m going off on a tangent, Salad’s… that one word you used. That one time. Rarity was like, really cranky? It was a different C word though.”

“Cantankerous?”

“Yeah that. That sounds bad and it’s totally her.”

“Oh?” Said Ivan as he walked over. Memry was off to the side pouting, meaning the stallion had probably asked for a time out. Dash turned to him without missing a beat.

“Yeah! I barely said anything to her and she told me to buck off! And the last time I had talked to her was on the Megapony. I didn’t do anything wrong or crash into any stupid experiment, or anything!”

“…Sorry.” Ivan said.

“I’d rather hear it from her.”

“Unlikely.” The stallion huffed. “Stubborn.”

“Fine, I’ll take it I guess. Just try to make sure she doesn’t try that bunk with anypony else. They might not be as understanding as me.”

--

Fluttershy was having a wonderful day. A warm breeze seemed to be endless as it swept through the countryside, weaving through her feathers in just the right way. Angel was oddly well behaved, none of the animals had gotten into any fights, and grumpy Mr. Grizzles was finally getting along with the rest of her animal friends!

She wasn’t prancing, though she did have a bit of a spring in her step. Or as much spring as she was comfortable having in public. It felt nice to cut loose.

As much as she disliked wandering into the crowded market, her weekly grocery run was something she rather liked, stocking up her cottage with all sorts of treats for her animals. Considering how nice they’d been acting lately, she’d be buying more then normal this time.

The shopping always took several trips since she did it herself, but the walk was always nice, and the sun and wind were perfect.

Yes, she was going to enjoy today quite a b-

“Oof!” She grunted as she bounced off of something. She berated herself for not paying attention to where she was going as she looked and oh sun she ran into another pony were they hurt today was ruined-

She recognised the pony as her frantic thoughts started to sort themselves out. She didn’t remember if she ever got the other pony’s name what if she forgot it that would be so rude she would be absolutely hated by every pony that pony knew-

“Watch where you’re going.” Salad said with a glare.

Oh moon she has one wing how did you not notice that before what if it hurts and you made it worse when you bumped her quick say something-

“Um…”

“What?” Salad had given up on the other pegasus and was about to leave. She barely heard the timid squeak of Fluttershy seeking attention.

“I’m… I-is your win-“

“Are you about to ask about my wing?” The other pegasus growled. her plumage is ruffled she’s pawing the ground she’s resisting the urge to vaporise you somepony please help-

“Y-yes!” Oh dear why did you say that it was obviously a bad idea this is why you don’t go outside you always do this-

“So I’ll tell you how this is gonna play out.” Salad said, glad the other pegasus was visibly terrified. It’d make everything a lot easier. “I’m going to turn around and walk away. You’re never going to talk to me again. Nopony gets hurt. Sounds good?”

Fluttershy could do nothing but nod.

“Spectacular.” The pink pony turned and left, grumbling under her breath.

Fluttershy managed to get full control of her mind and body five minutes later, and used them to bolt back to her cottage and lock the door.

--

Salad, quite skilled by that point at heckling and recognizing quality fruits, vegetables, and bread, managed to save herself quite a hefty sum of bits once everypony stopped staring at her back.

She really hoped her bargains weren’t out of pity.

Either way though, the stares weren’t as bad as they once were, so maybe Ponyville was getting used to her?

She sighed, wondering how much spontaneous conversation she’d have to put up with once the word got out she was related to the pony currently in the limelight. Several idiots crawling out of the woodwork going ‘what’s Ivan like, I notice you only have one wing and that’s obviously something you want to talk about or you’d hide it or something, you’re so brave’.

Intruders had been easy to deal with so far. Most shut up when they realised they were saying every last wrong thing imaginable. Rainbow Dash left when told to. That other one-

…she now remembered where she had last seen that yellow pegasus.

She foresaw a loud tiring day in her future where several protective friends swept down on her like a storm.

She made a mental note to start wearing her cleats more often.