I watched Windfall happily prancing about outside the cottage, humming to herself while I watched for any sign of her injuries reopening or anything. Her legs seemed to be moving just fine, the scars slowly turning pink. Even though the scars were still visible she didn’t seem to be feeling any pain from moving her limbs. That lent credence to her claim that ponies here heal very quickly and made me wonder how long it would be until she could fly again.

When I asked her about her flying she looked over at her damaged wing and stretched it out experimentally. The hurt wing wasn’t able to fully extend yet which apparently gave her some idea as she said, “Probably going to be at least another week or so yet.”

My hand went to my chin, “Hmmm, do you think it would help if I pulled it out fully, get it used to being fully extended again?”

She considered it, one of her forehooves going to her chin in imitation of my own thinking gesture. After a moment she said, “No, I think I’ll keep working at it on my own.”

I shrugged, “It’s your choice, I was only offering.”

Windfall smiled at me, “I know and I appreciate it John. Our wings can be delicate and I don’t want to risk possibly tearing anything in the healing wing.” Her face looked away for a moment, “Also when it comes to our wings touching is somewhat…complicated.”

My eyebrow went up questioningly, “Complicated?”

She nodded, “It’s a bit hard to explain because it’s mostly societal instinct but…well do you humans have ways of deciding whether or not touching is appropriate or not?”

That made it pretty clear to me so I nodded, “Yes we do and I think I see what you mean. Not only is it ingrained by society what you can and can’t touch and when but it’s also up to each individual and how they feel about it.”

Relief that I understood came over her face, “Oh good then you know what I mean. For pegasi the wings can sometimes be used romantically which does complicate things. It doesn’t always mean that though. Touching other ponies with our wings when not romantic is still a sign of trust and friendship.”

Dread began to fill me again as she mentioned friendship. “Is that how you see us Windfall, as friends,” I asked softly.

She smiled at me softly, “Of course I do John. You’ve helped me when I was hurt, you listened to me when I poured out my problems and then let me stay here for free. At first you were reluctant to open up to me but the other night, when you came to me for comfort I was happy that you were ready to open up to me, at least a little.” The dread filled me completely and I felt like I was both encased in ice and lead at the same time.

All that she had said was true and when I thought back to how I’d been acting sometimes when around the ponies but especially around her I could only come to one conclusion; somehow despite my own desires to keep everyone out she was getting in. Dammit all I was actually come to care about someone or in this case somepony. I closed my eyes, crossed my arms over my chest and clenched my fists tightly as the realization hit me and the accompanying dread and fear did too.

Windfall noticed; worry crossing her face as she stepped closer to me, “John? What’s wrong John?”

My mouth worked for a minute, making unintelligible noises as I attempted to convey my thoughts, feelings and desires. At last I said, “Windfall, I’m not your friend?”

She jerked back, hurt plain on her face and in her eyes, “What?! What do you mean we aren’t friends?”

As if I needed more proof of how far I was slipping I felt bad as I saw the hurt in her. It was painful enough in fact that I turned away so I wouldn’t have to look at it, “I can’t have friends Windfall, more than that I don’t want any friends. In the end it will only cause more pain something neither of needs.”

I intended to walk away at that point to avoid the discussion and the uncomfortable feelings it brought up. However Windfall galloped in front of me, reared up and planted her forehooves hard onto my shoulders. Her face was set in the fiercest glare I’d yet seen from a pony and that included Luna. Some tears were falling down her face and had left visible trails over the fur on her cheeks.

With both of her wings flaring up despite the one being injured she said, “I don’t know what your problem is John! One moment you’re being incredibly nice to me the next you’re trying to put distance between us! Did you think I wouldn’t notice, especially when you try to answer my questions without actually answering them? News flash John, I’m not an idiot! I’ve noticed these things and more!”

She took a deep breath before continuing, “One minute you’re being incredibly kind to me by letting me stay here for free yet you refuse any help when I offer it. You will listen to me spill my guts about things I’ve done yet you won’t let me know anything significant about you. I thought that perhaps you had begun to see things differently the other night, when you came to me voluntarily after you had that nightmare and yet here you are telling me we can’t be friends because it will cause too much pain?! Even without you telling me I can tell you’re already in pain John yet you’ll turn away a friend who would be willing to help you? Just tell me, tell me what in Celestia’s name is going on that you don’t want a friend so I can at least try to understand this!”

The way she spoke to me made me angry even though she was right and her anger was understandable. I used the anger as I had many times when dealing with criminals and other such scum to make me care nothing for how she felt. Taking her hooves in my hands I shoved them off of me and began to back away saying, “I’m not telling you anything Windfall nor do I have to. This is my decision and my reasons are my own and that is enough. It is my fault for giving you the wrong impression about us and I accept that however you must now let it go.”

Before she could answer I turned away and marched into the forest towards Ponyville. Even though I expected to hear the sound of hoof steps following me the forest was silent save for the chirping of birds and the occasional rustle as some small animal ran through the brush. Some time had passed before I stopped though I don’t know how much had passed and I leaned against a tree.

To my surprise and fear my hands were shaking like I was coming down from an adrenaline high the likes of which I only ever received in combat. This was all so much of a burden that I didn’t want or need right now. It’s my own fault for letting her stay and for trying to be nice. I should have gone with my first instinct and let her die out there. My face fell even more than normal as pain flashed in my chest at just the thought of letting her die.

A groan escaped my lips as the pain hit, not because of how much it hurt but because of how it was more proof that I was coming to care for her. Another thought hit me just then, This is Sheeva’s fault. If she’d left me damn well enough alone I wouldn’t be in this mess to begin with! Why couldn’t she just mind her own fucking business?!

Time passed me by as I stood there until who should come mentally calling but Sheeva herself, John what in the galaxy are you doing?!

Getting my thoughts and feelings in order now what do you want?

Currently I would love nothing more than to slap you senseless! I sent you there for the purpose of making friends and finding a reason to live and when you find out you have done at least part of that you run away like a child who hates being told what to do!

An apt simile Sheeva considering as you said that the reason I’m here is not because I want to be here but because you sent me here. Before you say anything that point will always remain valid and I will bring it up anytime I feel you need the reminder. Besides that though you know why I don’t want friends, in fact I’d daresay I can’t have friends.

Yes John I am quite aware of why you think that way, which is why I sent you to Equestria! Here all of your reasons no longer hold any logic to them because the fears and realities behind them do not apply here. Now you go back to your house and you apologize to Windfall and give her a proper explanation.

I would have honestly preferred to relive the nightmare about Wilhelm again rather than go back and face Windfall at the moment. That combined with my anger at Sheeva and the whole situation gave me a determination not to let her boss me around. No.

Even in my mind I could hear her astonishment, What do you mean no?

No, as in no I am not going to do what you said. In fact I’m going to do the opposite and go to Ponyville and get ready for my job.

You know I can just send you back right now right?

Yes you can but I can walk out again. You forcing me here worked because you knew I couldn’t leave without your help once you got me here but that doesn’t work in this case. Every time you send me back I’ll just keep walking away unless you plan on actually controlling me like a puppet with your power. She fell silent after that as I was pretty sure she would. While Sheeva was willing to bend and break the rules if she felt they were keeping her from doing good for people she did have her limits.

For her the idea of actually taking over someone’s body, leaving them alive and aware but unable to do anything of their own volition was tantamount to rape. It was the one thing she swore she’d never do to anyone no matter what and that gave me all the edge I needed right then and there. On top of that from what I knew of her people and their laws that abuse of power was guaranteed to get them to come and arrest her faster than I could ever fathom.

As I walked towards Ponyville I waited for her to resume our argument but she said nothing. If anything she seemed to have completely withdrawn from me and I was again alone. I sighed in relief and kept walking rather than hook shooting my way so that I could have the time to think of a solution to my dilemma. While I didn’t want to face Windfall again nor did I want to complicate my life by making friends I also couldn’t bring myself to just throw her out either.

I suppose I could have tried moving out of the cottage to someplace in town but those places were built to accommodate ponies, not a human. In addition the cottage had a lot of my gear as well as the equipment to run it and from what I had seen of the town’s tech level they could not run it themselves. Also trying to move that stuff from where it was in the forest all the way into town would have been an absolute bitch to do at least by myself and there was no way I was letting the ponies know where I currently was living.

No matter how I looked at it the bottom line turned out to be I would either have to deal with Windfall somehow or I was going to have to put more effort into avoiding her than it would be worth. A shiver ran through my body even though the day was nice and sunny as that thought hit me. Not only did I not want to face her again I also had no idea how I was going to do so unless I decided to just tell her why I didn’t want to be friends.

Internally I began to curse Sheeva for sending me here where this could happen. After I finished cursing her out I began to curse out the ponies, especially Windfall for being what they were and complicating my life. Next I cursed life in general just for being what it was and for allowing me to be brought to this point. Finally I began to curse out this world just because I was angry and really wanted to curse something out whether or not it deserved it.

Eventually that stopped too and I found myself with too much time to think again. Everything that was going through my mind I didn’t want to think about so I began to just shut my mind down and think of nothing. Thinking of nothing is really hard however unless you have something specific to focus your mind on which I didn’t. For all the parts of combat that suck I have to say that at least it doesn’t give you time to dwell on the negative shit.

By the time I arrived in Ponyville I was now rather moody and the ponies decided to revert to avoiding me like the plague because of it. As far as I was concerned that was fine because I really didn’t want to talk to anypony and complicate things further. Even Applejack decided to keep any interaction with me to a minimum when I bought some apples from her since I hadn’t eaten lunch yet.

While I ate the apples I walked to the outskirts of town and leaned against a nearby tree. Unfortunately the area I was in gave me a pretty good view of the Whitetail Woods which brought back the argument from this morning. My anger simmered within me and it became harder to think clearly. Even my hands were starting to shake as the anger in me grew. Fortunately I was able to finish eating before my hands started shaking too much and I went off to the martial arts dojo. If I was this angry I needed to let some of it out or else somepony might just get hurt.

Windfall continued to prance around the cottage though even being out in open again was not enough to calm the hurt and anger that now coursed through her. She lifted her head up to angrily glare at the town of Ponyville, where her current roommate was. I just don’t understand what his problem is. If he didn’t want friends in the first place than why did he do what he did?

Even though she had voiced these questions to him earlier he hadn’t answered them, not really. All he had said was that he didn’t want any friends and that was it. Tears, hot and salty ran down her cheeks again as she thought about it. Lifting her mostly healed hoof she wiped away the tears and sat down beneath the shade of a nearby tree. Why does this even hurt so much? I’ve only known him for a few days so why do I feel this bad?

It didn’t take long for the answer to come to her, Oh Celestia, I guess its because I didn’t really have any friends before. Like I had told him I was always made fun of for one reason or another. Once I snapped I needed to get away from it and came here to get a fresh start. Again she lifted her gaze up to Ponyville, I remember being so scared when I first saw him, so strange and different and menacing.

The corners of her mouth lifted slightly in a small smile, He didn’t kill me though; he tried to comfort me, awkward as it was and then he took me to his place and cared for me. Even after finding out that I had nowhere to stay he let me stay without wanting anything in return. A soft sigh escaped her lips, I guess what made me thing we were close enough to be considered friends was when he was so upset over that nightmare that he actually came looking for comfort which was so unusual for him.

While these thoughts ran through her head she continued to look at Ponyville. Eventually her thoughts turned to how she was going to handle the situation. She winced as some pain shot through her as she tried to fully extend her damaged wing. With her wing still out of commission the idea of running away was less appealing than it might otherwise be though she could still hoof it to Ponyville and try to find someplace to stay there.

However a combination of her damaged wing and the anger she felt caused part of her to rise up and yell No! No more running away! You’ve always run away and in the end it hasn’t solved anything. Do you really want to be friends with this guy? If the answer is yes then you are going to have to face this problem and John head on and no matter what happens you do not give up!

Even though nopony could see her she nodded in assent to an internal decision. She began trotting around the area near the cottage again this time with her head up and a smile on her muzzle. It might not be easy but she had a plan and she was ready and willing to fight rather than run away. However long it took him to get back she would be there and she would not let him out of another discussion not matter what it took.

I had a feeling that I was going to be spending a lot of time at the dojo just punching this bag and not as a demonstration. This time I didn’t bother with any sort of routine or specific moves I just let loose and hit that bag as hard as I could as often as I could. Sweat was beginning to soak my shirt and my muscles were beginning to burn from not letting up but it was helping me lose my anger as I focused more and more on the sensation of my fists hitting the bag.

Tough Hoof noticed me of course and trotted over, “Hey John, looks like you’re getting out some anger again.” His expression became one of concern, “That’s two days in a row now. Are you sure you’re ok?” My fists slowed down and I looked at him askance. It might have been because of earlier with Windfall but I wasn’t sure if he was also trying to befriend me or if it was just the natural kind of concern people might feel watching someone be angry.

After debating for a moment I answered, “I’m fine. Just had an argument earlier today and am trying to work off the anger.”

Thankfully he was satisfied by that answer as he smiled with understanding, “Ah, yeah this does work pretty well for getting your anger out.” He began to trot away though he looked over his shoulder and said, “It’s certainly better than taking it out on anypony right?” My reply was just a grunt and I went back to pummeling the bag, putting all my concentration into it until my world was nothing but the bag and my fists.

In fact the only reason I stopped was when I heard a cough to my side and a soft, “Excuse me, Mr. Tracker?” Looked over I saw Loving Heart and her daughter Faint Heart looking at me. Mrs. Heart’s expression was a look of concern similar to what Tough Hoof had show earlier. Faint Heart on the other hand looked like she was both terrified, yet intensely curious and perhaps even a little bit of awe, the latter two of which was a welcome change from her displaying just fear.

Seeing them I quickly looked at my gauntlet’s screen, checking the time and noticed that it was a little after the start of my shift. Giving my best apologetic look, which probably didn’t look very apologetic I said, “Sorry about that, I lost track of time and hadn’t realized you came in.”

“Oh, that’s ok Mr. Tracker. Um, if you would prefer we could come back another time?” As she said it she looked like she almost wanted the excuse and tempting as it was to give her one I did have a job to do.

I shook my head, “No, that’s ok Mrs. Heart I’m good to go.” Not really expecting an answer I looked at Faint Heart, “Are you ready to go Faint Heart?”

To both my surprise and her mother’s she spoke aloud, albeit soft enough to strain my hearing, “Yes Mr. Tracker, I’m ready.” She took a tentative step towards me, “Um, are you going to teach me how to be that fast?”

Now I wasn’t quite sure what she meant by that so I cocked my head to the side and gave a little, “Hmmm?”

Faint Heart took a breath and with a little more volume said, “We watched you for a minute and you were hitting very fast. Are you going to teach me how to be that fast?”

Well this was an improvement from how she had been yesterday and if I could keep her like this than teaching her might go a lot smoother. To that end I knelt down before answering, “I’ll do my best Faint Heart but speed isn’t something you can really teach. I can show you all kinds of moves and give you advice on how you might improve but if you want to be that fast than you need to practice the moves I show you. The more you do them the better at them you’ll get and the faster you can go as a result.”

She nodded a little and gave me a very faint smile, “Oh ok.”

Her mother was surprised but seemed pleased, “Thank you Mr. Tracker. You still don’t mind if I watch do you?”

Looking up at her I gave her a reassuring look, or the closest I can manage anyway, “Of course not Mrs. Heart. Please feel free to stay and watch anytime.” Turning back to Faint Heart I gestured to the bag, “Go ahead and show me what you remember from yesterday Faint Heart.” Standing on her hind legs she began to punch the bag, not really doing anything to it but then again she was a filly.

What mattered more to me was that she was at least doing it the way I had shown her yesterday. I asked her to do an uppercut and she did without any falling down or anything so she at least remembered yesterday’s lesson. Nodding in satisfaction I said, “Very good, now do ten reps of each but push yourself to hit the bag as hard and fast as you can.” As she did I watched for any changes in either her movements or how they affected the bag.

It seemed to me like her forelegs were moving faster this time and I think I saw the bag begin to move a bit under her punches. At one point she overdid it and fell forward, grabbing onto the bag to keep from hitting the floor. She looked up at me pensively and I just gave her a reassuring nod, “Its ok Faint Heart. Believe it or not falling down is a useful lesson in martial arts in and of itself.”

Her face scrunched up in confusion, “What do you mean?”

I held up two fingers, “Two reasons; the first is that it helps you to learn your limits and when you might try to do more than you are capable of. The second is that learning to take a fall, or a hit is important if you ever find you need to use these techniques. Ok?”

“O-ok.”

“Now stand back up and try it again.” She did as I said and she stayed up longer this time though she did fall again. However this time she got right back up and went back to it without any say so from me. As she seemed to get more into a rhythm she seemed to enjoy it more as a smile crossed her face. To be honest seeing her enjoying herself and losing her scared demeanor, even if only for a little bit made me feel a little warm inside. The corners of my mouth even turned upwards a little without me trying to.

Assuming the schedule for Loving Heart hadn’t changed I only had a few minutes left and I was looking for something to add to the end of our class. Looking around I spotted some of those gloves that instructors wear on their hands to let students punch them. Surprisingly they didn’t look like they had been altered any from the ones back on Earth though I suppose they could have strapped them onto their forelegs instead of hands.

I had to adjust the straps but I was able to get them snug enough and at least this way I could better judge her improvements in speed and power. Kneeling down I held up my hands and pointed to them so she would know what I meant when I said, “Ok Faint Heart I want you to punch my hands here, hard as you can.” She nodded and did just that, surprising me with how much force I could feel from such a little pony and through the padding even.

Remembering how much pain I had felt from just the blocked blows when fighting Tough Hoof I had to wonder just how much physical power these ponies had despite their size. Horses back home had a ton of strength but they were also much taller and bulkier than these ponies. On top of that their coloring did not suggest physical strength, at least to my eyes but rather…well to be honest I had no idea because I could not name any other species I had even come into contact with that was as wildly colored as they are.

Loving Heart came over after a few minutes and with a more confident smile than she had shown me before said, “Thank you for helping her Mr. Tracker but we must be going.”

I nodded, lowering my hands though staying down, “Of course. Good job today Faint Heart, you’re making progress. See you tomorrow.” With a small smile and a small wave of her forehoof she left with her mother. Standing up I walked to the door and watched them leave, Faint Heart looking at least a little less nervous than usual and I pondered how this was making me feel.

Earlier I had felt good to see her make progress and to be able to help her find a way past her fears and nervousness. Thinking of that brought back how I had felt when I had helped Windfall, having saved a life, her life rather than taking life as I was more used to. It was impossible to deny that it did make me feel good though it was an unfamiliar feeling so it stood out more than it perhaps would have otherwise.

Reflecting on that feeling I tried to recall the last time I had helped someone prior to my arrival in Equestria. If I had helped anyone recently before arriving I couldn’t recall having done so and given my state of mind I was pretty sure there weren’t any events to remember. The last time I could recall having helped someone was when my wife was still alive which would have been at least five years ago, maybe more.

Blinking in surprise I ran that number through my mind again; five years. Had it really been that long since she died? Is that how long I’ve been stuck like this; wanting to die but trying to finish one last mission before I did? God, I could still remember the pain of her and our daughter’s death and the anger that came with it. How had I gone this long with it? Why haven’t I just pulled the trigger?

I knew the answer; my mission. When I had made the decision that I was going to kill myself and it was a decision I had made after some internal debate, I had also decided before I died I wanted to fulfill one final self made mission. There were some people that I had heard of or met that were the most evil and despicable people I had ever heard of. Some of it was rather personal to me but I decided I would not end my own life until I had ended theirs so that there were at least a few less nasty individuals in it.

That mission was close to complete, down to the last individual left in fact before Sheeva hauled my ass here to ponyworld. My hands had unconsciously gone to my chest, clutching the memory bag where I had my last gift from my wife as my thoughts strayed to her and all that had happened since her death. If it was just one individual why not just end it here and now? It’s not like I didn’t have the means and it was only one guy left.

Even as the thought crossed my mind my eyes closed as the truth brought my back from those dark thoughts. In this Sheeva was right; as long as that one guy was still alive I wouldn’t take my own life no matter how much I wanted to. In my case that one guy was the most personal of all of the people I’d killed; Wilhelm, the man who’d broke me and had set me on the path to becoming a killer.

Hate can be a powerful motivator; it can start giant movements that spread like wildfire or it can endure through centuries and millennia when other things have faded. I hated Wilhelm with everything I had in me and there was no way I could take my life while he existed. Horrible as it was it gave me a purpose to continue living for; one I would gladly continue to strive for until I could finally carry it out.

Until I had completed it death would have to wait for me. As far as I was concerned it was just a part of the reward; kill the bastard for his crimes against me and others and in return end the pain and frustration. So lost in these thoughts was I that I didn’t notice Tough Hoof coming up beside me until I felt his furry hoof tap my hand to get my attention, “Hey John, how did it go with Faint Heart today?”

Shaking myself out of my thoughts I answered, “Better than yesterday at least. I think she’s making some small progress both in her capability with what I’ve shown her as well as she’s losing a bit of her shyness and actually getting into the spirit of things.”

He smiled, “Well that’s great to hear; keep helping her out. What about you? Twice today you’ve been so lost in your thoughts that you didn’t notice anypony around you. Is everything ok?”

With perhaps more edge in my voice than needed I replied, “I’ve got a lot on my mind right now, that’s all.”

I had hoped he’d take the hint but either he didn’t get the hint or he didn’t care, “Why don’t you come with me after work to this nice little pub and inn nearby? Just about every night I go there after I leave here. Mind you I don’t get drunk or anything but I find a good hard cider to be rather relaxing. Once you got a pint in you I bet you’ll feel much more like talking and you might just feel better afterwards.”

The immediate reflex was to say no because I didn’t want friends and I definitely didn’t want to talk about myself and what was going on. However the more the idea ran through my mind the less terrible it seemed; after all I didn’t have to tell him anything really and he was only asking me to join him for a drink. That alone didn’t mean he was trying to be my friend, though that was still a possibility of course.

After mulling it over I said, “No, not tonight Tough Hoof. Perhaps some other time but tonight I’m gonna head home; got some things to take care of.”

He nodded in understanding, “You do that then. We’ll go another time.” It wasn’t brought up again and I spent the rest of the shift doing the little maintenance jobs anyplace has to deal with such as cleaning up equipment, sweeping the floor and other things to keep the place presentable to others. During that time other ponies came in for their classes and I would help Tough Hoof with them, sometimes even going so far as to spar with him as a demonstration.

Closing time finally came around as the sun went down and the moon came up. Looking up at it as I began my journey home I tried to conceptualize the fact that Luna controlled the moon and could use it as a means to watch over her subjects. Try as I might though and even having seen various levels of supernatural power used I found I just couldn’t see it. Come to that I had a hard time believing a lot of what I was being told about this place. It just seemed so different from how things worked that I couldn’t quite see it. Perhaps at some point I could ask for a demonstration to see for myself that it was true.

A groan escaped me as I remembered what I was going home to which tempted me to take the long way so she’d be asleep by the time I got there or to find a place to stay the night to avoid it. Neither option would help though because it would only prolong the discomfort and most likely make it worse when I could no longer avoid it. With a grimace I activated my gauntlet and began to make my way home.

I opened the door to find Windfall sitting on the couch with her forelegs crossed in front of her. When she saw me she turned a glare on me as I entered the cottage though Windfall’s voice was calm as she pointed to the table I had sat when she had first woke up after getting injured and said, “Sit down John. We need to talk.” Knowing I wasn’t getting out of this and it would only make things worse if I tried I sat down without protest and gestured for her to go ahead with whatever she was going to say.

She took a deep breath, “Earlier you told me you didn’t want to be friends because it would bring you pain but you wouldn’t tell me why.” Her face took on a pained expression, “While I want to be your friend if you don’t want to be friends I at least want to understand why. Would you please explain how being friends would cause you pain?” My instant reflex was to tell her no but that would just make things worse.

Finally I decided to tell her the truth without telling her the specific events, “In my experience there are two paths that friends tend to take, both of which end up causing me pain.” My gaze, which had gone to the floor as I had made my decision came back up to see her watching me intently so I continued, “The first is that people are only calling themselves your friends because they want something from you. When they get what they want they leave or stab you in the back. That is the pain of betrayal.”

Softly she said, “That’s horrible.”

Nodding in assent I went on, “The second path is that the people actually mean it when they say you are friends and you become very close. While that doesn’t sound so bad it means it hurts all the more when they are taken away from you.”

Cocking her head to the side she asked, “What do you mean?”

I went to answer her but the memories that came to mind caused a lump to form in my throat so though my mouth opened no sound emerged. Swallowing it back I answered, “Windfall, remember when I mentioned that I had been in a lot of fights?” She nodded and said that she did remember, “Well those fights made me a lot of enemies; enemies who aren’t afraid to…to kill people I care for to get at me.”

Her forehooves went to her mouth in horrified shock and I nodded in understanding, “That’s what happened to everyone I came to care about; they either weren’t really friends and left when they got what they wanted, or they were really my friends but they died because someone wanted to hurt me.” Heaving a sigh I finished, “In the end it’s more or less the same thing; pain of betrayal or pain of loss. It’s all pain either way I don’t need any more of it.”

Windfall leaned forward and took my one hand in her hooves, her voice choked with emotion as she said, “John, I’m so sorry. I didn’t know and I wouldn’t have pushed the issue if I had.”

Taking a deep breath to try and calm myself from the emotions this discussion began to raise I said, “I know. Now you do know though. Was there anything else you wanted to know?” When she shook her head no I got up, gently disengaging my hand from between her hooves and went upstairs. Grimacing at the thought of the nightmares this discussion was likely to bring up I was able to at least take some comfort in the fact that the matter was dealt with as best as could be expected.