Sometime ago, when I was just a little foa- kid, I had had the dream of soaring through the sky. I imagined it to be a fantastic experience, to flirt with the endless space and to dance with the clouds. Then I flew off to Cuba once and my desire grew.

I had been given a close-up of that dream, what’s with my cute little face glued to the window the whole time. I could honestly say I had appreciated the flight more than the rest of our travel.

This may have played a part in what I had chosen as a future career. Of course, there had been lows even back then. For example, my teacher, that old featherless griffon, in fifth grade had told me I was a silly daydreamer.

Oh, the nerves! I had sunk into an angst coma for weeks after that stunt!

‘…Hum… no, sorry guys, that’s just whiny even for a crazed not-pony like me.’

“Where was I?” I muttered, scratching my chin with my right hoof. “Oh yeah, the fun of flying.”

Well, an old crappy spirit had beaten the love out of me through a near death experience. As such, even when I could see all threats in a clear five miles perimeter, I was a wreck and my flight was a wreck as well.

I kept expecting to be tackled and thrown into a downward spiral toward death and a fate as a meal. Hopefully, my mutant flesh would prove very unappetizing to any and all predators.

That being said, the feeling of the wind on my fur was downright awesome. It tickled.

I had not much else to be giddy about. So far… well, I was a free monstrous pony thing, but so was Discord, which promised the end of all things sane. True, I was not sane anymore, but that didn’t mean I wanted the world to be the same. Plus, I could vaguely remember concern and guilt born out of a sense of responsibilities.

However, what kept baffling and bugging the hell out of me was the lack of his influence anywhere my eyes could see. Considering I had apparently the eyesight of a falcon and that I was a few hundreds of meter up in the sky…

Yeah…

I sighed, not even bothering to come up with an explanation. I’d be completely mistaken anyway, not to mention I’d have given myself a headache for nothing. Really, it would clearly be the most reasonable solution to ignore the problem until it blew up in my face.

“…I don’t like how I phrased that…”

‘You know it’s true, dear.’

“I guess…” I replied to that precious dead imaginary friend of mine. Frowning, I had to dodge a vicious breeze before giving her more of my attention. “How are you flying?”

‘In all honesty, I think you ought to stop asking those questions.’ Madame Bucket shrugged, continuing to float by my side.

“My brain just keeps trying to make sense of this situation. I know it’s silly, especially when my own echoing voice of the legion keeps reminding me everything I did and had done to me...” I shrugged, pushing the horrors to the back of my mind… somehow.

Eyes very intently focused on a point on the horizon, I stubbornly refused to think of anything other than my goal of Ponyville. If there was one place in Equestria I could have fun and maybe make sense of anything, it would be there.

The fact that the Mane Six lived there and were the only defense against Discord did not factor, promise. It was not like I was scared shitless by the mere mention of his name and that a prolonged exposure to memories of our shared experience made me want to pray to the sun god Ra. Nope, none of that.

But the idea that he was free had me fighting my bladder for dominance!

“How long till arrival in Ponyville?!”

One hour fifteen minutes and thirty two seconds, that’s how long it took to fly there, bouts of panicked high speed flying and slowpoke imitations when the wind was against me included.

My time in that statue had gotten me an admirable capacity to count time pass by. A clock would be jealous, which was a fact that made me more than a little proud. Who could boast getting a reaction out of an inanimate object through sheer boredom?

Me, that’s who!

‘That would explain a lot of things…’

“Shut up, Madame Bucket!”

I swear, that container was getting more and more sassy by the minute!

Back to more important matters than a bucket of metal making jabs at my mental health, I was within sight of the fated town, where my destiny or lack of aforementioned destiny awaited.

Ecstasy rose within my chest, filled my veins and danced on the sound of pop music at the sight. Waves of relief went crashing down against my tormented mind. I could tell myself it would be alright.

More importantly, I could believe it.

“Okay, okay! Focus, me.” I whispered quickly, shaking with excitement. “First, gotta tell the gals about Discord, possibly without being assaulted on sight. That probably cut Rainbow Dash and Applejack. I have to get things done, so let’s forget about Pinkie and Fluttershy, even if it is so tempting to just tackle them into a hug and forever squeal my eternal joy. Rarity might go on about my appearance a bit too much, especially if it gives her an I-deaaaaa, so that leaves… Twilight.”

OHSWEETMERCYOFTHEGREATDUCK!

“I am such a cliché Gary Stu,” I stated the inevitable truth.

Eh, I could live with that… Overpowered, special and possibly hook up with a main character? I’d hate to read it, but I wouldn’t mind it happening to me…

Except for that hooking up part, pony relationship would be kept strictly professional.

“Oh please tell me that’s not the kind of sue Discord made me…”

Haha, yeah, who am I kidding? We all know that’s most likely exactly what Dis-

“…What’s that?” I muttered, my eyes getting caught by a most unusual sight.

Right next to Ponyville, there was this giant… smoking crater…

My eyes widening, I dove toward the disaster site. This had to be Discord’s fault! Was it a comet? O-or an alien invasion?! Oh Hell no! If there were xenomorphs here, I’d find a cockatrice and go back to being a statue!

‘What am I saying?’ I briefly thought. ‘NEVER AGAIN!’

I’d use the cockatrice to turn the xenomorphs into statues! There, sensible, smart solution. I had been a while since I had thought of one of those.

The ground approaching quickly, I took it on myself to work on a good landing, ignoring the part of me that marveled at yet another sensible idea.

To achieve this goal, I recovered a little height, if only to lose the terminal velocity I had first achieved by my instinctive reactions. Then, I tilted my body left, letting the wind and the laws of physic cause me to circle in the sky.

This slow gliding made me feel ridiculous, completely inept at flight. Images of Rainbow Dash’s abrupt landing with little repercussions were remembered as I remained stiff with stress. My whole body remained so still I started to lose sensation in my extremities.

Heartbeat quick and outrageously loud (to me, at least), I stared at the crater that became bigger and bigger with every meter of height I lost, with every slow circle around it. Its smoldering existence was frightening, a gigantic wound in the land and an insult to the land of Equestria. Fumes were rising, destabilizing me every so often and rendering me a swearing mess until I returned to my landing approach.

The sight was a mark of desolation…

This place looked… dead.

It tugged at my heartstring to look at it.

So why in the name of great beaver was I unable to look away?

An invisible force pulled at me, reaching at my limbs and my wings. It made my heartbeat spike, reaching a dangerous level, to realize I was partial to the suggestions it whispered in my ears. Sweet nothings and urges to accelerate, tempting words about lack of pain, lack of fear…

There was only a single thing in this world or the next that would tempt me more than that…

Without thinking, I tilted forward, diving headfirst at the crater. Even my overwhelmed cries of panic could not pierce that veil of temptation. There was an absolute power at play here.

The ground grew closer… and closer…

Only at the last moment did my survival instincts dominate my fogged mind and I put all my strength into cushioning my fall with my wings, hoping for a last second deceleration.

Pain.

Unreal suffering ripped from my shoulder blades, at the base of my mismatched wings, having me cry out, only to be cut short by the landing.

AGONY!

I screamed, barreling into darkened earth and ashes, dark clouds lifted by my fall. It eclipsed my vision completely, already blurred by the pain that had exploded within me. Warmth seeped through my body, but I was unable to pinpoint its source. I couldn’t tell if it was from the fuming ground or the blood from my wounds.

“Urgh…” I groaned, voice weak and raspy. “Should have known this was going to blow up in my face. S’what I get for thinking myself… good…” I coughed.

The one benefit to this new load of bad luck was that I had identified the source of the temptation.

Discord had been here. I could taste the aftereffect of his presence, like a foul rotten savor. Nopony would convince me I was imagining this oppressive feeling upon my chest. I had past experiences to compare it too.

Yet he wasn’t here! Not anymore.

Not hard to guess why there was a perfectly spherical crater here then.

“I guess they noticed then…” I whispered, testing which of my leg could support some weight.

Trying to stand up only had the pain reach a new peak and I collapsed, gasping. This was not good…

How bad were my injuries? Life-threatening? Yeah, they sounded life-threatening… Listen to that sick crunching noise it makes when I move my wings.

Crunch.

“FUCK! That hurt!” I groaned. “I’m such a dumbass…” I laughed, humorlessly.

No contest on who was the dumbest guy on both side of those portals D made…

Letting the pain subdue, I laid on my belly, leeching a bit of heat from the ground, lest I start to feel a familiar and deadly cold. It wouldn’t help, of course, but at least it made the experience less unpleasant.

‘Can’t I get back into a more maniacal state for my last moments?’ I thought, wishing for the insanity to catch up with me. No such luck though, I seemed to be fairly lucid, even if rational was pushing it.

‘So my options are… wait in this place to die or go through hellish pain just to maybe get some medical attention?’ I closed my eyes, letting my sense dull.

The world was gone; there was nothing but the sound of my heartbeat, a lone and rhythmic reassurance as of my status among the living. It seemed to me I could already feel it slipping away.

Then, in this pretense of void, something else festered. It was not the silly response my mind had taken as a habit to protect itself. It was just a fire, burning and raging, and the very reason I was still very much alive.

“Yeah, not dying today…” I grunted, folding my legs once more. With my jaw set in stone to prevent me from biting my tongue off, I pushed on all four of my legs simultaneously, ignoring the pain to stand up.

Between two short and rapid breath, I growled: “I don’t wanna…”

Slowly, with each step being a great example of torture, I started to climb out of this fuming hellhole. My head still fogged by the shock, I could not focus very well on anything but the orders I sent to my legs. I would not give up.

The earth was friable, I noticed offhandedly. The fact seemed important, but I could not process it. I just put another hoof in front of the other, doing my best to keep my left wing from limping off the ground. The steep hill to climb was not doing me any favor.

A few minutes passed and I was panting strongly, my eyes were closing on their own, not to mention I felt cold. Cold! Over this still scorching earth!

I’d never know, later, if my willpower failed me or if the ground itself gave up, but on my next step, I slipped. Instantly, my body slid off, carried by ashes and gravity, creating new injuries and aggravating the old ones.

Hitting rock bottom had rarely felt so literal. And painful.

I let out another scream, less powerful than the preceding ones. It was getting hard to do this too.

However, a soft groan escaped not my mouth, but that of another.

Startled, I jumped away, or tried to. My pathetic attempt only ended with me falling against the ground, narrowly avoiding biting off the tip of my tongue.

From my position on the ground, I felt especially vulnerable to this new foe, so much that I curled up defensively, my tail futilely placed between us.

“W-who’s there?” I asked, cringing at the sound of ten ponies’ voice superposing themselves. This demonic voice of mine could really destroy any chance I had to not appear threatening.

Then again, to appear threatening, there probably needed at least some form of contact between me and somepony else… I could not see any other living being here.

“H-hello?” I tried again, sounding quite unsure. Maybe I had dreamed it; it wouldn’t be a first, nor would it be surprising.

Against all evidences though, once more the voice, familiar, rang to my ears, telling me of pain and fatigue. Moreover, it revealed to me the location of its owner, to my right.

There, hardly recognizable, was a shape buried beneath the ashes.

Limping, I made my way to it, curiosity and, perhaps, compassion pushing me to discover the source of that low cry for help.

“A-are you alright?” I whispered, my throat feeling sore.

The form, bigger than I by at least a full head, stirred at this noise. It deployed white wings, shaking off the ashes, and tried to stand, not unlike I had done before. It accomplished no purpose other than fully revealing itself to me.

My throat squeezed with the shock.

“P-Princess Celestia!” I jumped forward, forcing my battered body to serve as a support for the alicorn as I tried to lift her off the ground.

I failed and fell to my knees, panting and gasping with every new wave of pain.

“I-I’m sorry, Princess…” I muttered, out of breath and out of strength.

Her eyes finally focused on me, bearing an ancient pain and what seemed to be regret to me.

“No, do not… apologize to me, my little pony,” she said, closing her eyes, her head falling a bit. “The fault is mine. I could not… I could not protect you and the rest of Equestria from Discord…”

No… No, not this…

She should not apologize! NOT TO ME! I was my fault Discord was free, my fault alone! Here she lied, broken, and she was asking for my forgiveness!

I reached a new level of self-loathing.

“D-d-d-doon’t…” I struggled to speak, my speech impaired by my indignation and my disgust. “You h-aaaave NO-thing t-to…”

“Be quiet…” She ordered, firmly, but not devoid of softness.

At that, I could not help but follow her demand.

“I can sense a great deal of struggle within you, my little pony.” She gave a soft sigh, her mane slowing down. No… “It is a shame we have not met sooner…”

“What are you saying…?” I didn’t understand.

“This is all I can do for you,” she whispered, as her fur started giving off a faint glow.

Before I could ask, a bright light blinded me, making me hiss and try to hide my eyes behind my right hoof.

Small itches ran through my whole body, as if an exaggerated tickling sensation. The sensation was… unpleasant, uncomfortable and frankly, felt probing to the point of an invasion of privacy.

However, I understood how right that conception was when my broken wings snapped into places, brutally.

The scream I was about to let out was cut short by the mending of my bones in my legs.

I started trashing, fighting off the light, even if I knew it would be beneficial to me in the long run. Futile as it may be, my brain wanted it to happen. This may be healing but, darn it was painful!

Unrelenting, Celestia forced the spell to continue till its natural end.

When finally the light faded, I was as good as new. Or, you know, as good as this weird sueish body would be in its original state.

My sight remained darkened by this previous aggression, blinking only accomplished the tiniest of improvement. My other senses remained, fortunately, unaffected. As such, I stepped forward, closer to the princess, when I heard her let out a short breath, followed by a noise of falling.

“Princess?” I asked, trying to smell her in this burnt mess.

“I… was too… weak… to lift his spell…” She whispered in between a few ragged breathes. Through it, I could feel her frustration and a boundless love for her subjects. “You will survive, my little pony.”

Those words, full of a maternal love, had me fear for the worst.

“Hide…” Celestia added, her voice growing weaker. “I was hoping to defeat Discord, but… hopefully, my faithful student and her friends will once again imprison him. Stay out of harm’s way, my little pony.”

Only then did my vision clear up.

I was stunned silent by the image presented to me.

Princess Celestia was resting on her side, eyes closed, her pure white coat darkened by the ashes and the dirt, but worst of all was her mane. The vibrant rainbow of color had dulled, taking a sickening shade of gray, with most of the colors replaced by an insipid pink.

“I-I… Celestia…” I placed a trembling paw on her, as if to convince me this was real, that this really happened!

S-she was not dead… THANKEVERYSAINTINTHESKY!

Baffled, shaking like a leaf in a storm, I stepped away from the Princess of the Sun. I-I could not…

I planted my hooves firmly in the ground, fighting off a feeling of vertigo.

‘She… she thought I was one of her ponies, transformed by Discord…’ I shook my head. Why do innocents pay when I screw up?! Why did events keep adding to my guilt?!

“Because I deserve it,” I said, running my hoof through my mane. “Dear me, do I listen to myself, freaky voice notwithstanding? Here I pity my fate when Celestia just used up the last of her magic to heal me…”

The world stopped spinning, darkening instead.

Inside me, hilarity started to bubble up, unstable emotions already threatening my grip on reality. Slowly, a grin stretched my lips, wide, too wide. To anypony watching, I had no doubt it must have been frightening, if only in combination with the crazed look I knew my eyes held.

“DISCORD!”