Princess Celestia and Princess Luna had just finished with the rising of the sun and setting of the moon and were returning inside for some breakfast. After all they had to get ready to leave for Ponyville with two guests.

“Dear sister, are those Griffins really going to follow us into Ponyville at noon?”

“Well they wouldn’t of wanted to go to such a ‘dirty’ town if you hadn’t said anything about the new alien resident Dear Lulu.” Luna held her head low

“I’m sorry sister, I let it slip in my excitement. I mean, an Alien! How cool is that?!”

“Yes, it is quite exciting. He seemed to have shown our Twilight some attention, did I already tell you he asked her out to a date?” Luna rolled her eyes

“Yes you did, like 12 times already.” Celestia just laughed

“Yes well, I just hope things go smoothly, I wouldn’t want our griffin guests to get angry, they are close enough to wanting to start a war with us over some silly land. I mean really, I already have ponies living there, What do they want me to do? Kick them all out?” Celestia just shook her head “sometimes I wish I didn’t have to be a ruler, things can get so complicated.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

‘I swear the sun rises really fast around here.’ Merry had just finished prepping the rest of the food in his house to feed everyone breakfast and hopefully alleviate any hangovers, Merry only had a slight headache. Even though he drank so much of that cider, must of been because it wasn’t any stronger then a beer. He decided to run down to Fluttershy's and feed her animals breakfast while she slept. When Merry got back home he went upstairs to put some of the toy armaments away when he saw Scootaloo open her door.

“Hey sleepy head, how are you?” Merry looked over to Scootaloo who was rubbing her eyes.

“Dad?” Merry flinched a bit at being called dad at the tender age of 18. But shrugged it off

“Why don’t you come downstairs in a bit, I'm making us breakfast.” Scootaloo finished rubbing her eyes and saw Merry, she blushed a bit after realizing what she just said

“O-ok, I’ll be down in a bit” She ran back into her room and shut the door behind her.

‘Heh, did she think she was still dreaming or something?’ Merry finished putting away the toys and went back downstairs and began to cook up breakfast. It was just potatoes mixed with hay, some left over spinach, some random other veggie’s and eggs to hold it all together. Scoots had come into the kitchen sniffing the air.

“Hey Scoots, wanna help?” Scootaloo shook her head vigorously

“Yeah! What can I do!” Merry just chuckled

“I’m gonna put you in charge of making all the toast for everyone sleeping out there. Alright? Make sure you butter them up a bit.” Scootaloo grabbed the loaf of bread and began to toast them all. Than she began to stack the finished ones onto a plate.

After cooking for about 20 minutes some of the ponies in the living room began to stir, namely the young ones. They were waking from the smell coming from the kitchen, as they were slowly making there way into it to watch Merry and Scoots.

“Morning guys, you hungry?” Some of the colts and fillies just shook their heads while others replied with a yes.

“Well alright then, Go wake up all those lazy adults and lets start digging in.” All the kids including Scootaloo ran out into the living room with all the sleeping ponies and yelled

“TIME TO WAKE UP! MERRY MADE US BREAKFAST!” they were meet with mixed responses of ‘5 minutes’, and groans of pain. But he heard a distinct shout coming from a mare and the sound of a large stallion shuffling around trying to get away and stand up.

“What do ya think yall are doing Big Mac?! Were family for pony sake!” Merry laughed as loud as he could from the kitchen and Applejack narrowed her eyes. “Merry” She stomped her way into the kitchen and glared at Merry.

“What cha need baby girl? Can't you see I'm busy making food for everyone?” Merry just continued to finish cooking without even turning to face her.

“You know what you did! I cant believe we got so sloshed we didn’t notice you putting us together.” Merry just shook his head

“Why Applejack! What ever you do with your brother behind closed doors is none of my business. But just remember there are many little kids around, I suggest you tone it down a bit.” Applejack just Huffed and sat down at the table.

“I expect an extra helping for what ya did so early in the morning... Again.” Merry just smiled

“Consider it done, I’ll give you my share.” Merry had washed the plates in the middle of the night and was now using his clean plates to serve all the hung over and hungry ponies. He gave them all a glass of water as there was really nothing else to drink in the house.

“Hey Scoots, lets go shopping after you eat breakfast, were all out of food.” Pinkie had bounded up to Merry’s side

“What?! Already?! But I filled up your fridge with enough food to last you weeks!’

“Yeah well, I used all our food feeding everyone at the party last night, so I need to go shopping.” Merry chuckled to himself a bit. “You guys ate me outta house, but its fine. Apparently Princess Celestia is my founder or something, Maybe she’ll give me more if I ask.” Twilight had stopped eating for a minute.

“What do you mean, Princess Celestia is your founder? Is that how you were able to get all those toy’s?” Merry just looked at her.

“Perhaps, it is. Perhaps it isn’t.” Merry just chuckled to himself as he began to walk out of the kitchen. “I’m off to go clean up. Oh yeah Rarity, did you finish any of my new cloths?” Rarity slowly nodded her head while holding it with a hoof.

“Yes darling, we can go to my shop in a bit and you can pick up the 1st 2 sets I was able to complete. They are quite simple and plain if I do say so my self.” Merry just nodded his head

“Not a problem, that’s just what I wanted.” Merry had gone upstairs to the bathroom and washed his face, then he came downstairs and watched everyone finish eating. The kids finished rather quickly while the hung over adults took their sweet time eating, some were making funny faces. When Scootaloo had finished eating she leaned back and burped.

“Hey Scoots, you wanna go shopping now?” She shook her head in agreement. “Good, cause you’ll need to show me where it is. Ha-ha.”

“I’ll show you were it is darling, after all its past my shop anyway.” Merry nodded his head at Rarity.

“Alright then two birds with one stone. Alright we’ll be back later, you guys feel free to wean your selves into better health.” Merry walked out the front door with his nearly empty sack of bits followed by Scootaloo, Rarity and Sweetie Belle.

“Might wanna take the lead Rarity, I have no idea where I’m going right now, Ha-Ha!” Merry slowed down to let Rarity take the lead and just walked side by side with Scootaloo. It’s the weekend so there’s no school, he could hang out with Scoots all day long.

When they got to Rarity’s shop they all walked in while Sweetie Belle went up to her room.

“Wait out here darling I’ll go get your new clothes.”

“Alright thanks.” as Rarity went to the back Merry looked down to Scoots. “Finally going to get some new clothes, maybe I wont look so ragged now.” Scootaloo just giggled

“Yeah, maybe you wont.” Merry just chuckled back to her as they waited for Rarity to come back. While they waited Sweetie Belle had come back down the stairs, still wearing the armor. He noticed that none of the fillies or colts took off their armor, they really liked them for some reason. Sweetie Belle ran up to Merry

“Hey can we all keep our armor and weapons with us? Please please!” Merry just sighed.

“Fine, fine, just don’t break em, I don’t think I can afford to buy so much again. And remember to keep it clean and neat.” Sweetie Belle cheered

“Yay!” She bounded around Merry and Scoots.

“Now we can be Real Crusaders with our armor!”

“Hey Merry can I go play instead of Shop with you? Please please?!” Merry just looked at Scoots

‘There goes us hanging out all day.’

“Alright go ahead, I’ll just go shopping alone then, no biggie.” Merry just waved them off as they ran outside with their toy armor on.

‘Kids...’ Merry saw Rarity walk back out from the back levitating out 2 sets of cloths, all the colors matched, one was blue the other was grey.

“Here they are Merry, simple and plain while resembling your current attire, just as you requested.”

“Awesome, how much do I owe you?” Merry opened up his sack of dwindling bits and looked over to Rarity.

“Well, this isn’t my finest work, so I suppose 10 bits would suffice.” Merry looked at her.

“Really? 10 bits? Applejack wanted 3 bits for 6 apples, and you’re charging me only 10 bits for custom made cloths?”

“Really darling, I’m generous, those 10 bits cover the cost of the material I went through trying to perfect your clothing.”

“I see, well then...” Merry took out 10 bits from his bag and placed them onto the counter. “I hope this covers it then, now if you don’t mind, I need to go shopping for lunch.” Merry waved Rarity off and placed his cloths into the sack with his bits. He noticed Rarity cringe when he did so. But ignored her and headed to the door.

“The Market is on your right when you leave darling, do take care not to get ripped off.” Merry nodded and walked out the door closing it behind him.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Merry arrived to an area bustling with actively, even so early in the morning. Stalls everywhere with many ponies trying to sell their wares.

‘It would appear they don’t have a super market around here. I guess everything is still bargained for here.’ Merry walked around until he found several stalls selling various fruits and vegetables. Merry had a sudden thought ‘How do I know if I’m being ripped off or not? I don’t shop here everyday. Fuck’

Merry walked up to a counter with Tomatoes on it. And saw a sign with 3 tomatoes and under it was a picture of 3 bits...’Seems legit’

“6 of your finest tomatoes my good Mare.” Merry placed 6 bits upon the counter and she smiled at him.

“Pleasure doing business with ya.” as Merry placed the tomatoes in his sack another pony came in from behind him and she sounded shocked at the price of the tomatoes.

“Last week it was only 1 bit for 3 tomatoes!” Merry turned around and looked at the mare behind the counter who was beginning to sweat.

‘Odd, I thought animals with fur couldn’t sweat.’

“Well uhh, things change you know, Pests got into my crop’s and I’m trying to make up for my losses.”

“I refuse to pay 1 bit per tomato. Make it 2 bits for 3 and you have a deal.” The mare behind the counter thought for a moment, then agreed.

‘Is that how shit’s done around here? God damn’ Merry walked away not really wanting to confront the mare about her business habits. He stopped at several other stalls and tried his hand at bargaining prices, Merry wasn’t very good. He ended up paying twice as much for some cherries. By the time he finished shopping he was down 90 bits, minus the 10 for his new cloths. Merry had less than 50 bits to his name now. And the price of food was quite costly, he would need a second job besides from Fluttershy's if he ever hoped to keep Scootaloo well fed, not to mention the amount of food he ate when he took severe damage. Merry looked to the sky, it was nearing noon time, The princesses were supposed to come by for a visit if he remembered correctly.

‘How interesting, I get to meet royalty, I hope they’re cool. But Twilight seemed to look up to her, she cant be all bad. Better get home and change into my new clothes before they show up.’

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Come Ezreal the princesses are waiting for us.” The griffin with red N’ white wings was waiting for his brother to finish up in the bathroom.

“Curse these pony bathroom’s, have they no common courtesy to rework these for griffins? And I still don’t see why we have to go to such a dirty town filled with commoners just to see an alien, why don’t they just bring him to us in a cage?” Ezreal just sighed as he checked his blue wings for ruffles.

“Brother we have diplomatic immunity here, I’m sure we can get away with a little fun at some commoners expense while we go to see the alien.” Ezreal looked over to his brother and chuckled

“You are quite right Zed, picking on commoner filth was always our favorite past time. Being royalty we are naturally above others.” Both of the griffin brothers laughed to themselves as they made their way to the landing platform to board the chariot with the princesses.

“Besides, Maybe this alien can bring us some fun as well.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Sister there must be something to can do to convince them to stay” Celestia looked down to Luna

“I already tried dear sister, I told them they wouldn’t be missing much. But they insisted that they come with us.” Luna sighed

“Alright sister, I just hope things don’t turn bad. I have a funny feeling.”

“Yes I know. Not to mention Ezreal keep's flirting with you as well. I think he may be trying to coerce some land from us by having you fall in love with him or something.” Luna shivered in place

“Don’t remind me sister, he is quite revolting in his habits and mannerisms.” Celestia just sighed

“Yes I know, but please bear with it until they leave in another week.” Luna just sighed as a guard opened the door to the platform and in walked the two griffin brothers Zed and Ezreal.

“Hello princesses we have arrived so we can leave at any time.” Ezreal just winked at Luna who looked away.

“Come gentlemen, we must be on our way if we are to make schedule”

“Yes, we wouldn’t want to be in Ponyville for longer then we have to.” Zed shivered in place. While luna rolled her eyes.

“Yes, heaven forbid that we stay in a commoners town for long.” Ezreal nodded as he seemed to agree with Luna’s sarcastic statement.

“Yes, I'm glad you agree with us Dear.” Luna rolled her eyes again and got into the chariot with her sister followed by the two griffins.

As they traveled to Ponyville, Ezreal put one of his wings around Luna, who said nothing and just stood still not wanting to offend him by shoving him away. Celestia looked down at her sister and cringed at the sight, knowing she was not enjoying her self. After flying around what seemed like forever they finally reached Ponyville.

“Its always good to get some air while traveling. Now where is this alien at?” Zed looked over to Celestia

“The mayor of this town gave me the location of the house she gave him, the Guards will escort us near it and we shall walk the rest of the distance.” Ezreal took his wing off Lung who sighed in relief.

“We have to walk? I thought you made arrangements so we wouldn’t.” Celestia sighed

“I only made arrangements for us to get here, the town isn’t that big, so please bear with it while we travel to the aliens home.” The griffin brothers looked at each other and sighed.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Meanwhile Merry was decideing what color to wear and weather or not to match his pants with his shirt or mix the colors for some Varity. He knew for sure he was going to wear the blue pants, but wasn’t sure if wearing the matching shirt was the best course of action, after all he didn’t want to look like a smurf when meeting the princesses. He had to at lest look decent for them right?

“Merry! I’m back for a bit!”

‘Ah good Scootaloo is home maybe she can help me decide what to wear. All the other ponies downstairs are still slightly hung over and are trying to sleep the rest of it off.’

“I’m upstairs Scoots!” Scootaloo ran up the stairs and opened the door to Merry’s room.

“Tell me Scoots, blue or grey?” Scootaloo looked at him with her armor on

“Hmm, I think the grey pants with a blue shirt would look nice, Anyway, I just came for Dinky, were gonna make her a CMC with us! After all the fun we had together it only seems right. Oh yeah, Fluttershy said something about having to get home to feed her animals. So she left still a bit woozy looking.”

“Hmm, grey pants with blue shirt?” Merry paused for a second ”Oh, well I hope Fluttershy gets home ok, I guess I should tell her that I feed her animals this morning already...Naa she’ll figure it out when she gets home” Now Merry didnt even know what pants to put on.

‘Guess I’ll just go with Scootaloos suggestion... heh look at me, being dressed by a kid.’

“Alright Merry, I’m off now! Im gonna get Dinky and head on out with Sweetie Belle and Apple Bloom.” Merry nodded his head while looking at the pants.

“Alright then, I’ll see you later Scoots, stay safe.” Merry eyed the blue pants and the grey pants. “Grey it is then.” Merry took off his messed up jeans and put his new grey pants on, they felt kind of like sweat pants. Not the best feeling, it made him feel like some kind of fat kid that couldn’t find pants that would fit him properly and had to go with sweat pants.

When Merry put his new pants on he heard what sounded like a lion roar. ‘What the Fuck was that?!’ In a panic he threw on his shoes and left without putting on his new shirt. When he ran downstairs he saw everyone in the living room get up and look out the windows. They were all looking to the left side, so Merry opened his front door and looked outside and saw Fluttershy standing in front of a Griffin with red and blue wings. Fluttershy seemed to be shivering place with the griffin glaring down at her.

“How dare you bump into me you commoner! You need to learn your place!” Zed raised a claw into the air but before he could strike Celestia intervened.

“I think you made your point clear Zed, there is no need for violence.” Zed lowered his claw and Celestia sighed along with Luna.

“You're right princess, there’s no need for me to dirty my claws on some commoner filth, now begone with you.” Fluttershy eeps and quickly moved out of his way and into the shadow of a nearby building and proceeded to cry her eyes out.

‘Strike one.’ Merry clinched his fist and could hear Rainbow Dash behind him trying to get outside to beat the crap out of those griffins, but Twilight stopped her saying that they were Royal griffins. And any violence against them would break the treaty between Equestria and the Griffin Kingdoms. Rainbow Dash just snorted visible steam and settled for going over to Fluttershy to try and comfort her.

As the group that just assaulted Fluttershy began to move forward again Scootaloo and her friends jumped in front of their path wearing their armor still.

“Hey you big Bully go apologize to Fluttershy!” Little Scoots held her chest up and puffed up trying to put on a brave face.

‘That’s my Scoots, defending the weak like a knight should.’ She was meet with laughter from the griffins while the two big ponies that had wings and horns just got a worried look on their faces.

“Brother! Look at this filthy commoner foal pretending to be a knight!” Scootaloo lost her brave face and slumped down a bit.

‘Strike two’ Merry clinched his other fist. Scootaloo’s friends attempted to back her up when they saw her loose some courage

“Hey! Stop being such a big Bully and just say you’re sorry!”

“Yeah! Its rude!” Dinky just nodded in agreement with Sweetie Belle and Apple Bloom.

More laughter erupted from the griffins as they pointed and laughed at the CMC’s.

“Oh my, I haven’t had such a good laugh in a while, Now why don’t you leave us. Go on, fly home you little orange pegasus, fly to your mother of common blood.” Scootaloo looked down at the ground

“I-I cant...” The griffin’s laughed again.

‘Strike three.’ Merry began to move forward and Twilight went up to him

“What are you doing?!” Twilight got in front of Merry

“Something that I should of done a long time ago.” Merry continued his walk toward the griffins and set his iPod on placing one ear bud into his left ear as he walked.

Elena Siegman - Abracadavre

“How rich! But then again, what else would I expect of such commoner filth. Cant even fly, and now that you mention it, your wings are a tad small. I bet your own mother and father abandoned you because your wings were so small.” Scootaloo looked down to the ground tears filling up her eyes. Sweetie Belle, Apple Bloom and Dinky just looked at Scootaloo

‘Strike Mutha fucking 5, 6 and 7.’ Merry quickened his pace

“Tell him he’s wrong Scoots!”

“Yeah!” Scootaloo just looked to her friends with tear filled eyes

“But he’s right, I have no parents, I, I cant fly...I” Scootaloo plopped down onto the floor tear’s filling up her eyes while Bloom, Sweetie, and Dinky also began to cry.

“Completely useless. Its no wonder your parents abandoned you.” The griffin’s began to laugh all over again.

‘These motherfuckers wanna die don’t they?’ Celestia and Luna had just about enough, they opened their mouths to speak, but before they could Merry got in front of Scootaloo and kneeled down picking her up in his arms.

“Hey there Scoots, don’t cry. Pappa’s here” Merry held Scootaloo tightly in his arms and rocked her back and forth.

“Ew who’s this freak? If that’s her dad no wonder she cant fly.” Merry spun his head around and gave the griffins a deathly glare.

“Shut your filthy fucking mouths, I’ll deal with you two overgrown shit for brains in a second.” Merry turned his head back to Scoots after he saw the shocked look on the faces of the griffins and both princesses. Even Scootaloo and the others had turned to look at Merry who went back to smiling.

“Hey no more crying ok? Cheer up for me yeah? I’ll deal with those big meanie mean heads for you. You just move back a bit with your friends in case things get ugly.” Scootaloo wiped the tears away from her eyes and looked up to Merry.

“Would you really be my dad?” Merry just chuckles a bit and smiles at her.

“Yeah I would, when you called me dad this morning, I guess it just kinda stuck.” Merry’s smile disappeared as he turned back around to face the griffins and the princesses.

“I suggest all four of you Royal pains in the ass Beg Fluttershy, Scootaloo, Sweetie Belle, Apple Bloom and Dinky for forgiveness.” Both princesses looked at each other in confusion, while the griffins just raised an eyebrow.

“But what did we do?” Princess Luna just looked over to Merry with a confused look. While Merry just returned a glare

“Nothing, You did nothing while these pieces of shit assaulted not only Fluttershy, but young children.” Luna and Celestia both looked to each as they knew what he said was true, they took far to long to intervene what was happening right in front of them. Both of the griffins laughed again.

“Oh please you stupid common ape, we have diplomatic Immunity, we can pretty much do what ever we want. Now if you’ll excuse us, we want to go see the alien that’s supposed to be living in this town.” Merry got a smile on his face as he tilted his head up so he had to move his eyes down to look at the griffins.

‘Abuse of political power is now added onto the list’

“Well you found me, I’m that alien that traveled from another planet. I’m still waiting for you to beg for forgiveness from those 5.” The griffins scoffed while the princesses changed their looks immediately. Instead of confusion they now had a look of wonder.

“Oh please, we don’t need to apologize to such commoner trash, right Ezreal?” Zed looked over to his brother for confirmation.

“Quite right Zed, we are above these commoners.” Merry just sighed and began to walk up to the griffins.

“You know...” Merry began to talk as he walked up to them

“What are you doing?” Zed stood his ground as Merry got closer

“I’m from a different planet...” Merry stopped just in front of Zed

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Merry clinched his right fist tightly

“It means, I DON’T GIVE A FUCK ABOUT YOUR RULES AND LAWS!” Merry spun around slamming the back of his right fist into the side of Zed’s skull knocking him to the ground.

“Brother!” Ezreal jumped over to Zed’s side and tried to help him up. But was stopped when Merry fireman kicked him in the side knocking him over as well.

“Hold still for a minute Ezreal, I’ll get to you next.” Ezreal just laid there in shock at what was happening. The alien was attacking them!

“Now if you think a young filly being unable to fly is funny, lets see how funny it is when it's an adult royal griffin that cant fly!” Zed looked at Merry with a look of utter shock on his face.

“You wouldnt da- AAHH” Merry had grabbed Zed’s right wing and forcefully brought it up, then stomped on the large bone that connected it to his body. A loud snap was heard among Zed’s scream.

“Oh hush you, I have just be-GUN!” Zeds eyes went wide as Merry twisted his left wing around several times and began to rip out his feathers. After a minute of pure agony Zed’s wing looked like a huge buffalo wing, except it was limp, broken and covered in blood. The Princesses and all the nearby Ponies just stood in shock and horror, unable to look away from what was happening in front of them. Merry turned to look over at Ezreal who just laid there in the dirt where he was kicked.

“Hey there little Ezreal, It looks like its your turn now, Don’t cha think?” Merry just gave him a crazy smile that was far to big to be considered anything else.

“Help! Someone Help!” Ezreal looked around then turned to face the Princesses. “Please you have to help us! Stop him!” Luna and Celestia broke out of their stupor long enough to shout back a response.

“Alien! You will stop this instant or you shall be arrested!” Merry stopped walking over to Ezreal for a second then turned to look at the princess.

“These shackles you offer me come with certain opportunities.” Merry gave the princesses a glare and smiled at them

“W-what do you mean?” stuttered Luna.

“On one hand, I stop and this sack of shit gets away unharmed. On the other hand, I beat the shit out of him and you arrest me.” Merry got back his crazy smile and turned back to face Ezreal who cringed. “Sorry but, I’LL TAKE THE SHACKLES!” Merry sprinted at Ezreal.

Ezreal decided to defend himself and stuck out a claw with all his digits in the form of a cone. Merry impaled himself onto the griffins claw. The claw stuck out of Merry’s back a few inches away from his spine. All the ponies screamed while the princesses looked in horror.

“Ha! I got you now you filthy alien!” Ezreal smiled triumphantly until he saw the look on Merry’s face hadn’t changed at all, in fact Merry was still smiling at him.

“Death is Magic say Abracadavre” Merry flung out both of his hands and jammed his thumbs into Ezreal’s eyes. After a few minutes of yelling Ezreal’s eyes made an audible pop sound. The griffin began to shake Merry in a frenzied panic because of his lost eyes. After a moment Merry flew off his arm and was flung into a house. Leaving a blood splatter as he slid down the wall.

All of the ponies stood speechless at what had just transpired. Merry was impaled by the griffin, but instead of crying out in agony he attacked the griffins eyes, making him blind, then Merry was flung into a wall. Scootaloo and all the young ponies ran over to where Merry fell while all the adults still stood speechless.

“Dad! Dad you cant die yet!” Scootaloo who had just finished crying had began all over again as Merry laid there not moving.

‘Guess I shouldn’t of ran into his claw like that. Guess that’s what I get for not thinking ahead again huh? Hm, what’s this on my face?’ Merry opened his eyes to see Scoots crying over his face with many of the other young ponies close by who also had tears in their eyes. Merry slowly brought up his hand and held it against Scoots face.

“Hey, no more crying alright? Besides a real man cant die until his job in life is over.” Merry slowly got up clutching his stomach, the wound had started to heal over, but there was still a rather big hole.

‘Speaking of, I guess my job in my old life was over before it even started’ Scootaloo tried to push him back down.

“No! Stay still, You’re really hurt this time." Scootaloo began to franticly look around as she saw Merry continue to bleed. "I know! I’ll get Fluttershy! She can make you better again just like last time!” Before Merry could stop her she rushed off in Fluttershys direction.

“Sister what has just transpired here?” Celestia just looked around her then to her sister Luna.

“It would appear that the Royal griffin brothers that decided to escort us to see the ‘dangerous alien’ all perished saving our lives. Didn’t you see it too sister?” Luna had a look of shock upon her face, then mulled it over in thought for a bit.

“Yes sister, that is what I saw as well. After all Ezreal and I were getting along quite nicely if I do remember, so he fought to save me from the dangerous alien.” Just then they saw Scootaloo running out from the bushes that Merry had fallen into.

“FLUTTERSHY! MERRY NEEDS YOUR HELP! HE’S STILL ALIVE!” Princess Celestia and Luna both watched in shock at what the little filly was yelling. How could he still be alive after being impaled like that? Suddenly they heard her scream and turned to look. Zed was holding the little filly by her tail.

“You! This is all your stupid dads fault! And since he’s not around, I’ll just punish you in his place!” Scootaloo just swung in place and screamed the 1st thing that came to her head

“DAD HELP!” Merry Stood up from the bushes

‘A mans job is never over’

“I HAVE RETURNED!” Screamed Merry.

“Ha! Perfect! Now watch as I cut your little fillies face open!” As Zed was about to swipe at Scootaloo’s face a dark blue aura stopped his claw in the air long enough for Merry to catch up to him. He grabbed Scootaloo from his claw and sprinted towards the princesses where he placed Scootaloo in front of them.

“Now maybe you princesses can apologize to Scootaloo properly while I handle the assholes you brought into our peaceful town.” Merry spat out some blood at Celestia’s hoof. “And for the record, Scootaloo would make a better princess than you two.” Ignoreing his last comment Luna spoke up

“But what about your wound?!” Merry just looked at the hole in his stomach that was slowly closing, yet still bleeding heavily.

“Don’t you worry about me none, Just make sure those assholes don’t get anyone else.” Merry just smirked “besides, its just a flesh wound.” Luna got a look of confusion on her face at Merry’s last statement. Then stopped him before he could leave

“Wait! Tell me, Why did you attack them when no on else dared?” Merry just laughed

“Where I come from, its usually common courtesy that when someone is cruel to a child, all the adults who are of right mind, jump in and beat the living shit out of the bastard, but it seems that rule doesn’t apply here. From all the looks the ponies were giving, it would appear you're all cowards. Hell even Twilight told me to stop, But that shit wont fly with me. Royalty or not.” Merry spat out some more blood. “Tell me, if your only child was being assaulted, wouldn’t you want everyone that was nearby to help you?” Luna just looked at him then nodded

“That’s what I thought, and that’s why I jumped in like that. Not only were they cruel to my little Scoots, they were just as cruel to the other children nearby.” Merry got up and began to walk over to Zed. Luna and Celestia noticed the dragon on his back spewing a green liquid, part of its tail and leg were missing as there was just a bloody hole now.

“Zed! Good buddy old pal, It seems you woke up from your nap, Care to play some more?” Zed cringed at the word play

“Where is my Brother Ezreal?!” Merry just looked around then shrugged.

“No idea, after I popped his eyes with my thumbs, I guess he got lost. Bawhahaha!” Zed’s face grew into a scowl

“I’ll gut you alive you freak!” Zed dashed forward rather quickly for a griffin with only one wing and swiped at Merry’s gut leaving a claw mark that began to bleed.

“Not Deep enough!” Merry finished closing the gap and spun around onto Zed’s back and got him into a choke hold. Before Zed could pass out Merry is knocked off his back by the blinded Ezreal. Merry held his arm from the huge gash that had opened up from Ezreal’s claw.

“Stupid Alien, I don’t need my eyes to find you, your putrid stench is enough!” Merry just stood up straight and continued to let his arm bleed.

‘This isn't good, I'm getting hungry, my regeneration will stop soon and then I’ll be at their mercy, Fucking griffins are over powered.’ Just when Merry thought he was doomed Ditzy flew in from above and landed in front of Merry.

“I really don’t know what’s going on, But I wont let you hurt my friend Merry anymore!”Ditzy was joined by Rainbow Dash and Twilight.

“Yeah! We also wont just sit by and idly watch anymore!” Slowly all the other ponies stood in front of Merry, 1st it was just the ponies from the party, then it was other ponies who Merry hasn’t even seen before. Zed just laughed.

“And pray tell, do a bunch of commoner ponies such as your selves, even think they can do? We have diplomatic Immunity remember?” Ezreal began to laugh after what he heard Zed say. Then Merry spoke up from the back.

“If I remember correctly, Diplomatic Immunity just keeps the laws from affecting you, it does nothing if someone wants the beat the living shit out of you though, hehe, Ha-Ha!” Zed and Ezreal gulped.

“Nonsense! The princesses wouldn’t let anything more happen to us!” as Zed finished his sentance Princess Celestia and Luna walked up to the front of the crowd with thier horns glowing.

“From what I remember, We came into town to see the new alien, and it attacked us. But you two lost you’re lives valiantly defending us and the townspeople.” Celestia gave a devilish smile along with Luna.

“You wouldn’t dare! If my...” Ezreal was cut off as he was hit with both a yellow beam and a dark blue one along with Zed. They both fell over to the ground unable to move.

“I think that paralyzing spell will hold long enough for us to figure out what to do with them.” Merry walked back out to the front. And stood next to the princesses then looked at them.

“I still expect you two ta say you're sorry for jumping in so late. You caused quite a bit of problems with your hesitation.” Both Princesses and all the ponies looked at Merry mouths agape.

“Such Gall from one so injured! And none of this would have happened if you didn’t attack them.” Merry just clinched his fist’s

“I only did what I should of done. No one should be allowed to treat kids like that. As for what to do with them, I have an idea, mind bringing them along princesses? We should talk.” The Princesses just nodded in agreement and levitated the two griffins up over thier heads. Merry walked over to Scoots and kneeled down.

“Dad your hurt! You should lay down!” Merry just chuckled and hugged her tightly.

“Don’t worry about me Scoots, I’m sure your hungry, its after lunch time after all. Go home for a bit and get something to eat, I already bought more food. Feed your friends while you’re at it. Oh, see if Fluttershy or Niji will make you something ok? And one last thing...” Merry kissed Scoots on the forehead “I love you, I’ll be home by dinner time ok?” Scootaloo just nodded her head then paused

“Whos Niji?” Merry just chuckled

“Niji is the nickname I gave Rainbow Dash.” Scootaloo just nodded and walked over to Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash. Merry turned around to look at the princesses.

“Lets get going, we got a bit of a walk ahead of us now.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Merry had ended up on the outskirts of town near the Everfree forest with Princess Luna and Celestia. Everyone was silent along the way

“May we ask what we are doing all the way out here Sir Merry?” Luna was curious as to what they would be doing so close to the Everfree.

“Simple my dear Princesses, since you deemed it worthy that they should die by my hand, I decided to make your report to the griffin kingdom a little more accurate.” Merry just rubbed his hands together. During the walk over Merry’s regeneration had all but finished repairing the damage. He was no longer bleeding as heavily, most of his muscle tissue was back as well. Princess Luna and Celestia just looked at each other then back to Merry.

“What exactly are you talking about?” Merry just smiled at them, He knew the griffins could hear every word he said.

“Lets just say, I always wondered what Griffin meat tasted like.”Merry laughed as the Princesses just cringed.

“Surely you don’t plan to eat them alive?”

“Oh nonsense! I’ll kill them quickly then cook them up, that’s why I came out here, the little ponies are far to innocent to see this.” Merry noticed the looks in their faces be less shocked, but still a little disturbed.

‘Glad they cant see a lie like that Applejack.’ “Now unless you also want to find out what Griffin meat tastes like, I suggest you head back into town and make sure everyone is ok, and repair damage that might have been done, I’ll be back in town around dinner time or so.” Merry pointed over to the tree on the edge of the forest ”just dump them over there and I’ll get to them soon.” The Princesses complied by dumping them by the tree and leaving back toward the town.

Merry just rubbed his hands together as he walked into the forest to gather what he needed.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Scootaloo just sat at the table with Rainbow Dash and the other mane 6 except for Fluttershy who was in the kitchen of Merry’s house making them a late Lunch. Fluttershy was humming to her self as she made lunch for everyone.

‘Merry is so manly! The way he fought those griffins for my honor! And he even adopted Scootaloo! I didn’t even know she was in such a sad state.’ Fluttershy was floating around in the kitchen as she continued to make food while fantasizing. ‘And the way he jumped up when Scootaloo called for help, even though he was mortally injured like that!' Fluttershy swooned some more 'Oh I feel like a housewife making lunch for her family now.’ Fluttershy had lost grip of a plate and it fell into the ground breaking apart.

“What’s going on in there Fluttershy?! You need some help or something?!” Rainbow Dash called out from the other room.

“N-No, I’m fine, it just slipped out of my hoof is all.” Fluttershy began to clean up the mess she made.

“Sheesh, some crazy day huh? Still it was pretty awesome of Merry to come out like that. I wanted to punch him in the face too.” Rainbow Dash just looked over to Twilight who nodded in agreement

“Yes, I agree it was quite the sight. Even though he was a bit vulgar about it.” Scootaloo had jumped in the conversation as well.

“Yeah! The best part was when that stupid griffin was all like ‘what is that supposed to mean?’ then my dad was all like, ‘it means I DON’T GIVE A BUCK ABOUT RULES AND LAWS!’, Then WAAM! Right in the kisser!” Scootaloo sighed as Rainbow Dash just laughed “I have the best dad EVER!” Rarity moved over to Scootaloo

“You shouldn’t use such language dear, it is unbecoming of a lady, although I do admit that at times of extreme anger it is ok to let a few slip from time to time, Just don’t use them in excess.”

“I wonder what that Merry is doing now with the Princesses.” Applejack sighed in defeat over weather to hate Merry or just tolerate him, He seemed to have a lot of bad points, but the few goods points were the kind she her self favored the most, like family. She would of jumped in if Merry hadn’t, after all Apple Bloom was with Scootaloo after all.

Just then the doors opened and in walked both Princesses. All the ponies in the room immediately bowed to them.

“Rise my loyal subjects, this is the house Merry correct?” All the ponies nodded

“Yeah! This is my dads house!” The Princesses smiled at her.

“Very well than, we shall wait here for his return with you. We still have much to discuss.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Merry had gathered a bunch of rocks in a circle large enough to fit both griffins at once. And a small quantity of sticks. He didn’t know how long the spell would last, considering he knew nothing of magic. So he decided to do something to prevent them from running while he gathered more wood.

“Well, it would seem I’m going to have to start a bit early gentleman, or do you prefer gentlebirds? Or something?” Merry just laughed as he walked over to his rock circle, and grabbed the biggest rock he could lift over his head and walked over to Zed.

“You know, I would say its nothing personal, but it really is personal. I mean not only did you verbally attack my little Scoots, you even tried to cut her beautiful face. Even though I know nothing of pony beauty, Im just assuming. Anyway...” Merry lifted the rock over his head and brought it down on the thigh bone of his back right leg “I know you cant move, but this is going to get boring rather quickly if I cant even hear you scream.”

Merry picked the rock back up and looked at Zeds leg, it was crushed flat pretty much, not much broken skin either. He looked at Zeds face and could see tears forming in his eyes.

“Perfect, you can feel pain, I’m going to enjoy my self much more knowing that little fact.” Merry moved on to his front right leg and smashed it with his rock as well. Then moved on to Ezreal.

“Without both of your right legs you wont be able to stand, and your broken wing prevents flight. Now my little Ezreal, its your turn” Merry preceded to mame Ezreal as well so he couldn’t escape. After Merry had deemed them unable to escape he left back into the forest to get some more wood.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

In the middle of the town some of the ponies began to smell the air.

“Hm, smells like some Ponies gonna have a BBQ. I sure could go for some grilled corn.” Golden Harvest licked her lips at the thought of some grilled corn.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Zed had watched in horror as Merry skewered Ezreal alive and then split his stomach open over the floor. Merry then yanked his guts out before placing him over the fire. Ezreal had spent his last few minutes alive burning. All Zed could do is cry at the sight before him. Because Merry had pinned his eye lids open with some twigs and angled him just right so he was forced to watch everything happen.

“So Zed, it turns out I’m a cruel heartless monster when I want to be. But then again, I’ve always known that. I do my best to keep it caged, but if I’m pissed, I just let him out, like I did today.” Merry just grinned at Zed. “I must confess I feel like a Monster, and I love it. Look at the wound you gave me. It is pretty much gone already. Hehe Ha-Ha-Ha!” Merry just laughed as he turned Ezreal to prevent him from burning too much.

After about 20 minutes of cooking Merry removed the cooked Griffin from the fire and began to eat.

“Mm, tastes like Medium rare. Honestly I expected more chicken, but this tastes like a steak with a bunch of flavor.” Merry moved on to one of the wings and peeled a piece off. “Hm, this part, actually tastes more like Duck.” Merry shook his head. “Well I guess it’s a good thing you don’t taste like Chicken, then I might of had to hunt griffins for a living.” Merry looked back to Zed and realized the twigs were still holding his eyes open preventing him from blinking.

“You..monster...” Merry looked at Zed in shock, then in joy.

“Awesome! The spell is wearing off! Now we can have some real fun!” Zeds pupils shrunk to the size of pinpricks at the word fun.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

As Merry finished cooking the last griffin he felt a sudden pain emanate from his armpits, then suddenly disappear.

“What the hell was that?” Suddenly a white and red fairy appeared in front of him. They hovered in front of him for bit then began to speak, taking turns saying each line

“Because you’ve sent so much back...”

“Of both Evil and Good...”

“You have been awarded...”

“A neutral boon!” Merry raised an eyebrow as they finished together.

“Was taking turn’s telling me that really necessary?” The two fairy’s looked to each other then nodded and answered at the same time.

“Yes! The Boon they decided to gift you with is the power to Absorb anything!” The fairies stood back to back with one hand in the air pointing upward.

“Huh?” The red fairy flew over to Merry and poked at his left palm while the white one flew to his right hand. Merry looked at his hand’s and noticed a small hole in the center of his palms.

“What do you mean, Absorb?” Merry just watched as the fairies flew around him in circles as they took turns naming each one off.

“Pain”

“Joy”

“Injury”

“Constitution”

“Sickness”

“Health”

“Life”

“Even death!”

“Wait wait, you mean I can absorb death and like, bring them back to life?” The fairies stopped flying around and looked at Merry and nodded.

“But it comes at a cost!”

“Yes a Cost!” Merry sighed

“And what’s the cost exactly?”

“You experience what you took in full. So absorbing death isn’t advised!” Merry just nodded

“Well alright then, Anything else?” The fairies looked at each other then shrugged.

“Keep up the good work Merry Sue!” The fairies flew behind Merry and disappeared before he could even turn around to face them again

‘Well, that’s interesting, I completely forgot about that whole Deeds thing I was doing. But absorption power? What the fuck am I now? Some kind of Mystic towel? Jeez, I’ll probably have to wear gloves to cover the holes in my palms, I wonder how it works exactly...’ Merry placed his right palm onto a nearby tree. ‘Lets see, what should I absorb from the tree... how about water?’ Merry began to think about taking water from the tree, and shortly after he felt something flow into his palm and through his arm. He noticed the tree’s leaves began to whither while all the other trees were still bright and leafy green. It looked as if the tree wasn’t watered for months and was slowly drying up.

Merry pulled his hand away before he sucked the tree dry, and he suddenly had to pee very badly, and decided to piss on the tree he just took its water from. It was the longest piss he had ever taken by far.