So long story short, I’m damaged goods. My own mother admits to dropping me as a baby and that’s probably why I am as fucked up as I am. My ability to tell what is right and wrong is practically non existent. Well, that’s not entirely true, I just don’t care unless it might affect me negatively. The only thing keeping me from being some psychopathic killer is the fact I'm too lazy to hide dead bodies and cover up evidence. Well, that and common sense paired with the fear of being ass raped repeatedly in prison because I’m just too damn sexy.

But that’s beside the point here.

All in all, I grew up living a normal life. Parents loved me and never beat me unless I was really out of line. Even then it was just a simple spanking or being grounded. But for some reason my emotions were how to say, numbed out, well the ones like sadness and guilt. I could clearly feel happiness and pleasure, all the "negative" emotions seemed to elude me. Music and psychedelic drugs (I found out during my high school days) were about the only things that would stir emotions like sadness and regret about what I’ve done.

School was a whole other story as I was a bully magnet. I never went out of my way to find people, but I seem to give off this aura that makes people want to hurt me. When I was younger I was like most kids, I cried when they hit me because it hurt. But one day for some reason it stopped hurting. Fear of pain was no longer a factor for me. Somehow I ended up being a masochist. It's some kind of an odd quirk that some head doctor told me I had during my teen years after my mother took me in to see what was up with me. He also said I showed signs of being a Schizoid or having a borderline personality disorder. I called Bullshit and we never saw him again.

Anyway I started to enjoy the fights, and they made me feel alive when compared to the rest of my boring life, I suppose it was the adrenaline rush. Over my time in high school the jocks got it in their head that if they beat me in a fight it made them tough or something. So my school days were never boring.

With my lack of friends it was easy for them to catch me alone. I also had a nasty habit of listening to my iPod while walking, so people commonly got the drop on me, But I couldn’t help it. Music is my life you know? Even when my iPod wasn’t on I had a tune going through in my head. I would commonly quote song lyrics when speaking to people if it fit the situation. Without it I feel like I would go crazy...well worse than what I am now. I always felt that music amplified what little emotion I had, along with making me feel alive without having to fight some idiot, however, fighting with my iPod playing was a different rush entirely.

Well they aren’t always idiots, sometimes they know how to perform a basic ambush, and I guess I really pissed one of them off this time around. Seeing as how I’m currently lying in an alley with my head bleeding profusely.

One of my headphones had fallen out of my ear as I could hear someone laughing nearby while my music was still hearable. Lucky for me one of my favorite songs (Disturbed - Warrior ) was playing and the pleasant sting on my head kept me awake. I rose to my feet and smiled at him. “Hey Bro, what’s up?”

“What the fuck?! I just hit you on the head with a metal bat and you smile at me?!” I recognized him now, he was some muscle head on the football team. I one hit Ko’d his ass yesterday in front of his girlfriend, the bandage on his broken nose was proof.

“Yeah it’s a good thing you don’t play baseball, yer swing didn’t even hurt.” He was visibly pissed off now as he came running at me bat at the ready.

I would of easily dodged him, but it seems the blood lose from my head was worse than I thought as my vision quickly blacked out for a split second and my knees buckled, and for the 1st time in years, I felt pain again.

My mouth stung like I’ve never known before as his bat connected with my chin. I recalled the old doc telling me that I probably wouldn’t feel pain unless I was on the verge of death or I found no 'pleasure' in what was happening. The next thing I know I’m falling backwards...except I can see the ground coming closer. An odd sensation really as the only thought going through my head was, “w-t-f Bro? That’s not right.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

What happened next was even crazier. Instead of hitting the pavement and dying like I thought would happen. I instead fell though the pavement and into a waiting room. With other people that looked equally as fucked up as I did, some far worse with limbs missing. Oddly enough I still had all my junk. My backpack with my school supplies and even my iPod with a full battery. Looks like I won't be without music in my afterlife. Also I realized I could see my ass when I looked down, and walking with your head facing the wrong way totally sucks.

Lucky for me the pain disappeared and was replaced with all the too familiar pleasure. I guess being dead reactivated my Masochist side. With some effort I was able to spin my head back around as a bunch of sickening cracks and pops could be heard. The other dead people just looked at me with a look of disgust and shock.

“Didn’t that hurt at all?!” asked one gentleman with a large pipe extending from his gut.

“Na, it actually felt really good. I kinda wanna do it again. Besides, whatever doesn’t kill you leaves a scar.” I smirk and he looks at me with disbelief and says

“That’s not fair, every time this stupid pipe comes in contact with something it hurts like the dickens. Stupid gas line explosion...” I shrug and sit down on a nearby chair waiting for something to happen. Most likely the grim reaper or some such nonsense.

It felt like days passed in that stupid waiting room. I spent my time cleaning myself up, you know, cleaning the blood off my face and head. Oddly they had a bathroom I could use. I tried to get the blood out of my shirt. It didn’t work too well as some brown staining was left behind, but it looked ok I guess.

A green lady (literally green) would come out and call someone’s name and they would walk with her past the door and not be seen again. Then my name came after I thought I was going to die again of boredom.

“Merry Sue, your next.” Why my mother decided to give me such a girly name with my dads last name, will forever be a mystery to me, seeing as how I'm dead now.

I got up and followed the green zombie looking lady in the back and into a room that looked like a standard office. The dude sitting at the desk had a dirty suit on and his hair...or more accurately his scalp was a mess, almost like someone took a weed whacker to the top of his head.

“Ah welcome Merry take a seat, let me just look over your file here and then we can decide where to send you.”

“Send me? What the fudge sickle cake are you talking about?”

He paused for a moment to read my file “Well Mr. Sue people of your standing are, how do I say this...Forbidden from heaven and useless in hell.”

“Whhaaaaaat?” I gave him a look of extreme confusion

“Well Mr. Sue, the reason why you're forbidden from heaven and useless in hell are for the same reason...because you’re a sadomasochist. Seeing as how your love of inflicting pain upon others is frowned upon by the guys upstairs, and the fact that you like pain pretty much defeats the purpose of hell. There’s really no place for you.”

“Well Shiitake mushrooms on a big stick... Am I really considered a Sadist? I mean I did enjoy kicking peoples asses... maybe a little too much I guess. So what now? Do I just hang around as a ghost unable to do anything?”

The balding dude puts a hand to his chin...which was missing 3 fingers apparently.

“Oh hell it doesn’t really matter to me, being stuck in a limbo would just make me go crazy. Nothing to do ya see? Now there must be SOMETHING I can do.” Merry looked at him with a throw the dog a bone look.

“Well I do know about one thing that you can do, But you will indeed have to work. Follow me”

With that they both got up and proceeded into the adjacent room filled with odd looking devices of all shapes and sizes with tons of glass looking tubes. All of them had either blue or red writing upon them. “What’s this place?”

“This place my dear boy, is where you will receive your equipment that will help you. Now take your shirt off and lift your arms for me.”

Merry shrugged and did as he was told. Then the suited man grabbed two of the tubes, one with red writing and one with blue writing on its surface. And Proceeded to forcefully and rather roughly embed them into Merry’s sides just below the armpit. Red on his right and blue on his left.

With a shudder of pleasure and a goofy look on Merry’s face he turned to look at his suited buddy. “What were those things for?”

The man cleared his throat and spoke “Those are enchanted collection vials, they give you regeneration and also act as translators, so you can understand any language. The red one will absorb all negative actions and deeds and the blue one will absorb all positive actions and deeds. When they fill up it will automatically be sent back to us and replaced with an empty one. Also as a side note, If they break due to some crazy amount of force, the glass will shatter inside of your body, possibly a painful experience, but the enchantment will make them form back together in a few days, but they will lose any of the deeds they absorbed, and basically reset’s back to zero.”

“Wait, so you're basically telling me, if it breaks, even though it's about to be full, I would have to start ALL OVER AGAIN?”

“Precisely, so don’t go around blocking attacks with the area under your armpits. Now as to why you are doing this? It's simple really, the big wigs like to consume the deeds as a sort of power source and food, so you’re going to be basically working for them.”

“Sounds like I just got a job as some kind of chief, that’s good news, and I tend to catch attacks with my face rather than my armpits anyway.” Merry thought for a moment “So will I be getting promoted or stuff like that? Also, where are you going to send me exactly? Back to my home town or something?”

The man in the suit scoffs then lets out a light chuckle “No, that would be stupid. Besides, you already fucked up on earth. I’m going to send you to a place that should make it easy for you, Besides making a true friend will give that blue tube a decent chunk, and making an enemy will do the same for the red one.” The balding man then looked at Merry and winked “Promotion no, Boons yes, they will be based on the deeds you send back more of, though you can be neutral and send back an even amount to both sides...”

Ignoring his last remark and wink Merry looks at him and says “I don’t know if your file has any detailed info, but I’m not the kind of person that makes friends easily...With my Unique personality anyway. And what do you mean earth? There’s more planets or something?”

“Hmm, more like alternate realities, we handle all sorts of universes around here, yours isn't the only one with those deemed worthy enough to enjoy everlasting paradise or torment you know.”

“Hmm, sounds like fun, I get to mess with some kind of aliens huh? Well lead on Sir.”

They walked back to the office where they promptly stopped in front of a door with the words “Equine Universe” written on it.

“Hey this door wasn’t here before... Also what's an Equine? Is it some kind of alien?”

“You're right, I had it sent here for you to use. Now one last thing Merry.”

“Yeah? Also you didn't answer me what an Equine was...”

The man in the suit chuckles a bit then says “You’ll find out soon enough, just... Try not to die again ok? If you do, you’ll be sent back here, and thats just a big headache for me, so much paper work N' red tape. Even with your new modified body and high rate of regeneration, a significant head wound will kill you again.” Ending his sentence with a serious face he opens the door. Leading into the dark underside of a bed?

"Well sucks to be you, so I guess I’ll keep from pissing off too many people...or aliens..” Merry thought what he meant by 'modified body', when did that happen? He then waves as he walks through the door only to sort of fall back into the room. Apparently the gravity was different, so he grabbed the left side of the door frame and pulled himself into what looked like to be the underside of a bed. Once he climbed completely out the door promptly shut behind him with a decently loud bang.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“What was that?!” said a young girly voice with a southern accent

‘Well shit’ thought Merry, 'that door had to lead into some little girl's room, and by the sound of her accent she lives in the southern states, looks like I'ma get killed with a shotgun already. I thought this was supposed to be another planet... Guess I better do something...Something fun at least before I get shot.'

Merry crawls out from under the bed and stands at the foot of the bed and makes a bow. Oddly enough, even though it was dark, He can see clearly in black and white. Inside the bed he can see two big eyes looking at him with fear. 'So aliens do have big eyes'

“My dear girl, do not frighten yourself, for I am the Knightly Merry Sue, and I would do no harm to such a lovely young lass as yourself.” Keeping his head low and hand against his chest he just waited for a reply.

“APPLEJACK! BIG MAC! THARS SOME STRANGE PONY IN MAH ROOM!” yells the young lass at the top of her little lungs.

‘Well that could of gone better I'm sure, and did she say pony?’ Just then he heard doors slam open and what sounded like...a horse? Running down the hall to the room. Then the door flung open with a force so great it knocked it off its top hinge. What Merry saw when the light came on was a surprise. I mean really, horses? Small horses anyway, but small horses were ponies right? A small yellow horse/pony in the bed and a Big red one with a smaller but still big Orange horse/pony in the doorway, with a cowboy hat on...Jesus.

The two horse/ponies in the doorway were confused for a moment for the pony in front of them was no pony at all, it was some strange 2 legged animal that somehow snuck into their younger sister’s room. The big red horse rushed up to the 2 legged animal and pinned him to the ground.

'Time for some fun' thought Merry.

“Yall Ok Apple Bloom? Did this Animal do anything to ya?” Apple Bloom just shook her head and said

“No the animal didn’t hurt me, just scared me ah guess, it was talkin bout being a knight or something.”

“Talking? This thing can talk?” they looked over to the animal who had a look of...satisfaction on its face?

Merry just looked back up to Big Mac and said with a seductive tone “I’m not usually into letting guys get on top of me, but I can make an exception for you big boy.” Merry then winked at Big Mac who then jumped off Merry with a look of shock, disgust and a blush? on his face. Hard to tell with him being red to begin with.

“Well, now that you’re no longer on top of me, I suppose I should introduce myself.” Merry bowed again and said “ My name is Merry Sue, and I have journeyed across time and space from far away lands in hopes of completing my quest of salvation from my doomed fate of being stuck within a limbo.” Merry then looked up to see looks of confusion upon the faces of the alien horse ponies.

The orange horse pony spoke up “Ah don’t care what kind-a quest you were doing, that doesn’t give ya the right to sneak into some poor filly’s room in the middle of the night.”

“Ah yes, I do apologize greatly.” Merry turned to face Apple Bloom and then proceed to drop down onto his knees and face plant into the ground with a loud thud with his arms extending outwards palms down. “My dearest Apple Bloom, Please forgive my foolishness. I failed to realize the door I came from was under your bed. Could you see it within your benevolent heart of gold to forgive this Knight who has failed to even give you privacy?”

All three of the horse ponies stared at him with looks of disbelief, then Apple Bloom spoke up “Door under mah bed?” she jumped out from under her sheets and looked under her bed. “I don’t see a door down here Merry...” she turned around to look at Merry who was still face down.

“Ah yes, it was a one way door and it cannot be opened from this side.”

“Ya mean, you’re stuck here Merry?” questioned Apple Bloom with a hint of sadness in her voice.

“Dearest Apple Bloom, do not be sad for one such as me. I am not worthy enough to receive your sympathy. As I am sure I am not even worthy enough for your forgiveness.”

Apple Bloom walked over to Merry much to Applejack’s and Big Macs displeasure. “Ah forgive ya Merry. Ya didn’t hurt me and it seems like you don’t mean any harm.”

The orange pony interjected “I can tell most of what ya said was hogwash, except about the part of traveling across time and space and ending up under Apple Blooms bed...As crazy as that sounds. It's sounds true, but you sure aren’t any knight.

Merry rose up into a seated position and smiled. “How could you tell I was lying about anything my Dearest Apple?”

“Call me Applejack and its simple I’m the element of Honesty, and I can smell a lie from a mile away ya Varment.”

“Well then, you’re no fun, but I still do not mean any of you harm. And how is it that a horse can talk anyway?” element of honesty? For real?

The two older one’s snort “We are Ponies not ‘horses’ you 2 legged animal.” The word horses were spat out as if they were greatly offended.

“Whoa, sorry about that, I didn’t mean nothing by it, it's just the creatures you look like back home have similarities to you, well not as colorful and cute, but anyway you just look like em is all.”

Apple Bloom looked at Merry quizzically for a moment then asked “How come you aren’t talking like some kind of knight anymore?”

Merry smiled at Apple Bloom “So you enjoy my company when I speak in a manner of refinement Apple Bloom?”

Apple Bloom just giggled and said “Yeah, it makes ya sound like a cool knight from a story.”

“Well then, Let me pledge my services to you for a day to make up for a most rude awakening my dear Apple Bloom.” Merry smiled and thought to himself, ‘getting those good deeds should be easy like this.’

“Oh oh! Can ah keep him Applejack!?!” Apple Bloom gave the orange one the classic puppy dog eyes.

“Ah don’t know, I still don’t trust him. But he seems harmless enough. Also he’s not some kind of animal Apple Bloom, he knows how ta speak. You can't just keep him as a pet.”

Both Merry and Apple Bloom go "awww" at the same time. Everyone turns to look at Merry who just has a smile on his face. “I wouldn’t mind being a pet. You could get me a collar and I could sleep at the foot of your bed and...”

Applejack cuts him off and says, “I don’t feel comfortable keeping a strange talking animal as a pet...Also we already have Winona, and what in tarnation are you anyway?”

“Ah yes, I suppose a strange alien knight such as myself should let you know, that I am called a Ningen dearest Applejack.”

Applejack raised an eyebrow “Do ya always talk like that?”

“Like what my dear? With manner and grace?” Merry tilts his head to the side with a smile still plastered on his face.

“Yeah, like that, it doesn’t seem right, and your smile seems fake as well.”

Merry chuckles to himself a bit then drops the smile and the mannerisms in his voice “You got me there hot stuff. But I’m serious about helping Apple Bloom for the day, seems only right as I’m supposed to be doing ‘good’ deeds.” Merry dropped his head, then propped it back up with a smile “Or bad deed’s, ether way I earn my keep, now I’m sure we all have a big day ahead of us, we should all get back to sleep.”

Applejack raises an eyebrow “Well alright then, but you sure aren’t sleeping in here, you can go sleep in the barn outside.”

“Sounds good to me, sleeping in a pile of hay sounds like a fun experience.”

With that Applejack led Merry to the barn while Apple Bloom and Big Mac went back to sleep.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

After a short walk of silence they reached the barn and Applejack turned to face the ningen with an unsure look upon her face.

“Ahm only tolerating you simply because you don’t seem to mean us any harm, but at the slightest hint of your betrayal, Ahm gonna buck you into next Tuesday, do ah make myself clear?”

“Crystal clear babe, but uhh” Merry got a sultry look on his face “does buck imply something of the sexual nature?” Merry ignored her blush and look of disgust and continued to move his eyebrows up and down while sticking his tongue out in a lewd manner.

“It means no such thing ya Varment, and I thought you were into Big Mac?”

“Oh my dearest Applejack, I’m not picky, as long as its warm and of age I am good to go.”

Applejack gave him a look of confused disgust, because she knew, he really wasn’t lying about his sexual preference. So she clopped him in the gut knocking the wind out of him, but the look on his face wasn’t one of pain, no he kept smiling and his eyes rolled into the back of his head and he let out a moan.

“Hit me baby, one more time.” Merry said after catching his breath again.

“What the hay?! Ah think Id rather not, ya strange alien Varmint.” Applejack walked away with a confused look and mumbled something about how it should of hurt.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Merry was left alone inside the barn, it wasn’t dreadfully cold , but it wasn’t warm ether, but he figured he would be ok after he got some hay on top himself. So he walked over to a nearby pile and buried himself in it. And closed his eyes to let sleep take him...Except he wasn’t tired.

Guess I’ll just think about my situation then, maybe I’ll be able to bore myself to sleep then. So let's see here...

I died because of some stupid blood loss and a broken neck, then I fall into some strange waiting room, I guess the grim reaper hired some help or something. Then the dude who I never got the name of tells me I’m forbidden from heaven and useless in hell. Just because of my lifestyle ...

Fuck those guys, This alien planet seems cool enough and I can have as much fun as I want here, So what if the planet is full of talking colorful ponies and I’m basically some kind of undead, even though I feel alive, hmm... How alive am I exactly?

Odd how I have my sense’s still, I can feel the warmth on my face with my hand.

Heartbeat? Check

Wait...

A pulse? Maybe I'm more alive than I thought, I wonder if I have to eat and junk. What about that regeneration he said I had?

Merry looked around the Black and white barn and located a sharp object, a Pitchfork to be exact. He stood it upright and slammed his palm into one of the spikes, it easily went through his hand and with a shudder of pleasure, he looked at his hand and noticed the blood trail going down the side of the pitchfork. Merry pulled his hand up and watched as the hole slowly but surely stopped bleeding, and scab up in about 3 minutes.

“Oh dang, this regeneration is pretty damn fast, I didn’t even have to stop the bleeding.” He looked at his hand some more then decided to lay back down in the hay with his hands behind his head.

‘Hmm, My healing makes me feel like Wolverine from the god dang X-men. And maybe I'm not sleepy because I’m an undead? I guess that would make sense, well fudge cake, that means the nights are going to be boring as fuck for me then if I can't sleep.’

I wonder if I still need to breathe... Merry began to hold his breath, his current record was 12 seconds.

While Merry held his breath he gently mused over his situation in his head.

I wonder what happened to the guy that killed me...let alone my family...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A knock on the barn door caused him to stir and open the door. Much to his shock he spent the night holding his breath and thinking while the sun had come up. It was little Apple Bloom with a smile plastered on her face and Applejack behind her.

“Jeez what time is it?” Merry was wondering how long he had been contemplating about his certain situation.

“Its about 5:40 in the morning, the Sun’s starting to rise.” Beamed Apple Bloom.

“Now Apple Bloom Ah want ya to take him to see Twilight, she must know something and can let the Princesses know we have an alien in our town now. I’ll come by later after I get some chores done around the house to help out Big Mac right quick.”

“OK Applejack, come on Merry let’s go see Twilight! And we can get mah friends while we’re at it! Ahm sure they would love to see an alien!” Apple Bloom began to skip ahead without waiting for Merry.

Merry laughed out loud for a bit then shouted “Do not leave your Knight behind dearest Apple Bloom!” Apple Bloom slowed down a bit and turned her head with a big smile on her “Thank you for waiting my dear, Now lead on! Our Adventure awaits us!” And with that they both moved at a brisk pace toward the town. Unbeknownst to the unsuspecting town, a different type of a colorful character was on his way.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Merry had placed one headphone into his ear and began listening to his iPod and started singing out loud the song that just happen to play, Alien ant Farm - Smooth Criminal.

Apple Bloom just looked up at Merry with a confused look on her face “what ya doing singing a strange song like that? And what's that thing in your ear?”

“Oh this? It's my iPod dearest Apple Bloom, here hold still for a sec and let me put one of the ear buds down so you can hear it.” Merry bent down and put the other ear bud into Blooms left ear and her eyes went wide at the music with the last line she heard being the lines he had just sung out loud before the song ended.

“Is that some of your alien music? And how can something so small make such cool sounding music?”

Merry just chuckled to himself and said “Its Magic my Dearest Bloom.”

“Magic?! I didn’t know magic could do that! Maybe twilight can do something with it, seeing as how she’s the most talented with magic in Ponyville.”

‘Wait, Magic is real here? Oh crap’ Merry thought for a second then decided to just go with it. “Oh you guys have magic as well? Well Ours is more of a mechanical type of magic that use’s electricity.”

“What’s elec-tri-city?” Merry face palmed and realized they must be some kind of crazy primitive race.

“Its uhh, you know what a thunderbolt is right? Lighting?”

“Oh yeah those big bright things that set trees on fire during a bad storm?“

“Yeah those, that’s Electricity, and it powers all of our mechanical magic. Speaking of, How do you guys have light and stuff when its dark out?”

“Oh that’s easy, we just use gems filled with magic to give off light and you can even set em up with a switch like in mah room. We gotta get em filled every few years, but it gets the job done and its rather cheap. Cheaper than burning a oil lamp anyhow”

“Interesting...so where are we going exactly?”

“To the towns Library to see Twilight, ah just hope the town won't freak out seeing you, hopefully with me next to ya they won't freak out so much.”

“A whole town freak out because of a 2 legged alien? Per-Pos-Ter-Ous!”

“Why did ya say it like that?” Apple bloom gave him a confused look.

“Hmm, because I felt like it I suppose, besides its fun to miss pronounce words anyway.”

With a smile Bloom continued down the road and said, “ I suppose’s it is.”

Merry gave Bloom a smile “Now you're getting it.”

They walked down the road a bit more until they came to the town. The looks all the ponies were giving Merry were a combination of confusion and fear, but seeing as Bloom was walking next to him they figured it couldn’t be all that bad anyway. They stopped in front of a huge tree with a door and windows in it.

“Hey don’t tell me, this is the library?”

Bloom shook her head up and down, “Yup this here is the towns Library and Twilights the smartest Pony in town.”

“Hmm, smartest huh? Alright Bloom lets have some fun then, don’t question what I say when we get inside k?” Merry looked at Bloom with a smile and she just nodded while smiling back.

“Hehe, alright good, just follow my lead and go with the flow alright?”

“Alright then” with a smile Bloom pushed the door open and shouted “Twilight sorry for coming by so early in the morning. Its me Apple Bloom and my sis told me to bring this new guy to see you!”

Some shuffling could be heard from upstairs and down came a purple unicorn who stopped at the bottom of the stairs to stare at the odd creature behind Apple Bloom. The odd creature on two legs smiled and waved at her.

“Hewo purple poni. How is you?” Twilights left eye seemed to twitch, because of the bad grammar and pronunciation or because the strange animal was speaking to her, Merry couldn’t decide. She stood speechless for a good minute before Merry decided to speak again.

“Bloom, I dun tink dis purple poni is as smert as you said she wuz.” Twilights face went into a scowl

“No Merry I think she’s just confused, maybe you should explain.”

“I am NOT stupid you 2 legged animal.” Twilight snorted

Merry grinned at Twilight “Oh so da purple Poni can sprecken ze? In dat case let me introductory me self.” Merry bowed low and said “ Me name is Merry Sue and I am za ningen alien from across timez and spaces.” Merry got back up from his bow and finished with “And Miss Bloom here has chosen to accompany me for the day while showing me around.”

Twilight just looked at him with a look of ‘W-t-f’ then said “why was your last sentence not all...messed up?”

“Hmm, cause I didn’t wanna mess It up you silly N' cute purple pony”

“What what?! But you, huh?”

Apple Bloom started laughing at Twilight's confusion “It looks like the jigs up Merry.”

“So it may seem Miss Bloom. Now that I have met this Twilight, what do we do next?” Merry looked to Bloom with a smile on his face.

“Well Twilight was suppose ta inspect you or something I guess, and let the princess’s know about you being a ningen knight from space.”

Twilight scoffed and with a look of annoyance on her face she trotted up to Merry and gave him a quick once over. While she was excited that a new creature that seemed intelligent had showed up at her house. She was still a little peeved at how the 1st impression started off. Still curiosity got the better of her as she carefully looked over the strange two legged creature called Merry.

Merry kept his eyes on Twilight the whole time and noticed her look at his butt for a bit longer than needed.

“You see something you like back there babe?” Merry looked at her as she got a blush on her cheeks

“I-I-I was just wondering h-how you stand without a t-tail is all.” Twilight stammered with the blush still evident on her face.

“Sure ya were hot stuff, just give me a call when your bed seems cold.” Merry winked at her and she blushed even harder.

“Ah thought ya liked Big Mac Merry?” Bloom looked up at Merry with a look of confusion.

“Ah, sorry about that Bloom, I was joking with him, besides I think he’s more into pretty ladies or uh, Mares than me.” by this moment Twilights blush disappeared and she had a confused look on her face.

“So are you just joking with me as well?” Twilight had a look of hurt on her face

‘What the hell? Did this mare take my joking flirt seriously? Holy shit these ponies are easy to mess with. Well I’d hate to make her cry, don’t want my red tube filling up too fast now.’

“I apologize Ms. Twilight if I have offended you, No I’m not joking with you, you are quite lovely. Your beautifully lavender eyes were the 1st thing to captivate me when you came down the stairs, and I'm sorry for the way I introduced myself, how about I make it up to you tomorrow when my services for Ms Bloom have expired?” Merry thought to himself for a moment ‘wait a second, wouldn’t continuing the lie that I'm interested in her be worse in the long run? ...shit’

Twilight was taken aback along with Apple Bloom. Did this strange alien just hit on her? And then proceeded to ask her out on a date? Twilight began to blush at the thought of a date, even if it was some alien.

“Um, yeah sure, tomorrow. I’ll be here.” Twilight looked away then quickly stuttered “I-I-I have to check something!” she quickly galloped upstairs.

“Well, that was most odd wasn’t Bloom?” Merry looked down at the young yellow filly

“Well, ya did compliment her eyes then ask her out to a date tomorrow...”

“Oh... A date?! I meant more like a casual hang out like what me and you are going to do... Oh well, could be fun I guess. Only problem is I don’t have any money...” Merry thought for a moment only to hear the door open behind them with Applejack behind them. She glared daggers at Merry but smiled at her little sister.

“Did Twilight have anything to say about you?” Applejack looked at Merry with an impatient look on her face.

Merry just Smiled at Applejack and said “I got myself a date tomorrow, got any suggestions?”

“Whhaat?!” Applejacks jaw dropped.

“Yeah Sis! He said Twilight had beautiful eyes then asked her on a date for tomorrow, then she ran upstairs for something...” Applejack had a distasteful look on her face then started to walk up the stairs.

“Ahma go find out what’s going on exactly.”

As Applejack got to the top of the stairs she opened the door to twilights room and out walked a purple lizard saying “I don’t think he's gonna care what or if you wear anything Twi.”

Merry was shocked and had a look of excitement on his face. ‘A Dragon?! No fucking way! A baby one at that. This I need to see up close.’ Merry left Blooms side and walked up to the dragon who had a look of fear on his face at first then curiosity as this tall Bipedal animal approached him.

“Hey, you wouldn’t happen to be a young dragon would you?”

“You know, I almost thought you were gonna come up and ask me if I was some kind of strange lizard.”

“Are you kidding me? What fool would mistake a young dragon for a giant lizard? They must of been Simi retarded or something.” Spike chuckled at the comment

“Ya know, you’re a pretty cool dude, what are you doing here anyway?”

“Oh nothing much, some pony named Applejack wanted me to get checked out by the Hot purple pony that seems to live here as well.”

“Hey dude, that’s my sister you're talking about.” Spike began to gag a bit at the thought of his sis being considered hot.

“Really? I never would of guessed, how did that happen exactly?” A unicorn with a dragon as a brother?

“Oh she sorta found me as an egg when she was just a filly and raised me ever since.”

“Hmm, sounds more like she would be your mom, but oh well.”

Spike looks at him for a moment “you wouldn’t be the strange alien that asked Twi out would you?”

“As a matter a fact I am, why?” Merry raised an eyebrow

“Well, nothing really, she just had me send a letter to Princess Celestia that she got a date, and with an alien of all things. Though seeing you, I can guesstimate you really are an alien of some kind.”

Merry chucked “Well more accurately I'm called a ningen, but yeah, that’s about the gist of it.”

Spike shrugged and started to walk away “Well, just don’t screw up big time, she’ll probably talk your ear off with questions though. I’m sure she’s sexually frustrated seeing as how she doesn’t get out much...”

How the young dragon even knew what being sexually frustrated was made Merry wonder. 'Fuck it he’s a magical talking purple dragon, he does what he wants.' Merry shrugged it off and walked back to stand next to Bloom. If there was one thing Merry was good at, it was going with the flow and not questioning how things were.

“What did ya two talk about?” questioned Bloom

“Oh, just about my date tomorrow, so he gave me some pointers.” Merry mused it over in his head for a bit, 'A sexually frustrated Unicorn... How fun.'

Applejack and Twilight both started to come down the stairs Applejack leading the front.

“Ahma tellin ya Twi, he’s a no good liar.”

“Even if he is, I’m still taking him up on his offer, I need to get out every once in a while.” Twilight and Applejack had reached the bottom of the stairs and they both looked at Merry who just had a stupid grin on his face.

“My world is filled with liars, But I only lie to people I don’t like, and since you’re not people...I guess it doesn’t quite apply.”

Applejack just glared at him “If ya hurt Twi, Ahma have ta break yer back.”

“Well if you must break it, I suggest using the back of a chair.” Merry just grinned at Applejack “But I don’t plan to hurt Twi, Just make her...Feel good.”

Twilight Blushed again with Applejack while Bloom had a look of Confusion. Applejack then snorted and looked at Bloom “It's almost time for you to go to school, you should hurry along.”

“Aww, I guess I’ll see you later Merry, I have to get to school...” Bloom was sure she would get to skip school today. She began to walk out the door when Merry spoke

“Nonsense I’ll go to school with you, I said I would assist you today, and that means in all places. Of course I won't help you cheat on things though...that would be bad and take away from the learning experience.” Merry began to follow Bloom out the door as she cheered.

“Don’t worry Twilight, I shall be back tomorrow to pick you up.” Merry winked then turned to follow Bloom out the door.

~~~~~

“Are ya really gonna go on a date with that no good varment Twi?”

“Why yes I am, It will be my 1st date as a matter of fact, not just with a male, but an alien ningen male at that.” Twilight held her head up “and besides maybe I could learn something from him”

Applejack facehoofed “Just watch out he told me he doesn’t care as long as, and I quote, ‘I’m not picky, as long as its warm and of age I am good to go.’”

Twilight thought about it for a moment then smiled “This should be easy then.”

~~~~

Merry followed Bloom around until a small white unicorn next to a small orange winged pony came up to them.

“When did you get a pet monkey Apple bloom?” questioned the orange winged pony that had a fuchsia mane. Merry just laughed out loud at her comment causing both of the small ponies to look at him.

“Oh hey Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle, he’s not mah pet monkey or anythang. He's my knight for the day, on account’a he woke me up in the middle a the night.”

The white unicorn made a squee noise at the word knight. While the orange one just looked at him.

“I don’t see any armor...”

Merry just laughed again “Scootaloo was it? Not all knights wear armor where I come from.”

Sweetie Belle just circled around Merry looking him up and down. “You should visit my sis, I bet she could make you something more knightly and dreamy.”

Dreamy? These ponies are crazy. “Well I could use some more clothes to wear, I’ll have to take you up upon that offer at a later date.”

“Well girls we should hurry on over to school don’t you think?” eagerly spoke Bloom.

“Wait, your monkey knight is coming with us to school today?” Scootaloo looked at Bloom then back to Merry. “COOL!”

Merry looked at the three fillies in front of him and smiled “So Bloom, I’m guessing these two are your friends then?”

“Yup! And together, We are the Cutie Mark Crusaders! YAY!” Merry cringed a little as the loud noise left a pleasant tingle in his eardrums.

“Well alright then, you three lead the way then.” Merry followed the 3 ponies as they quickly traveled to the school.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Quite a simple school, it had the classic school house look he saw in an old history book. A few trees here and there with a sizeable playground. Really it was quite a nice school, and Merry wondered where the older ponies went to school, or if they only had a K-6 system here. All 4 of them walked into the front door as they seemed to be early. Good thing too, he wanted to speak with the teacher 1st, hopefully he could just sit in the back of the classroom instead of having to wait outside.

“Ms. Cheerilee!” Bloom had run up to the dark pink pony...or was she magenta? God I'm bad with colors. Anyway, Bloom had run up to her, so she could introduce Merry.

“This here is my ningen Knight of the day Merry. He can sit with me in class today right?!” Bloom had put on the puppy dog eyes again.

Ms. Cheerilee looked at Merry then back to Bloom, unsure of what was going on exactly. Merry walked up to her and got on one knee and spoke “I have sworn to serve Ms. Bloom here for the day as an apology for my most rude behavior yesterday. I humbly request that you allow me to sit in the back of the classroom. I promise to not interrupt your benevolent and enlightened lessons.”

Ms. Cheerilee was a little shocked, but quickly shrugged it off “Well ok then, I think I have a spare chair around here. Let me get it for you.” the pony then left to a nearby closet and brought out a chair and placed it in the back.

“Thank you kindly Madam.” Merry proceeded to sit in the chair while Apple Bloom, Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo all went to their respective desks satisfied with the turn of events.

The next few hours were mind numbingly boring, school always was. Thank god for lunch breaks as the class was dismissed for the hour. Ms Cheerilee called out to Apple Bloom asking her to take out the trash. But Merry, being under Bloom’s service for the day opted to take it in her stead.

Seeing as how he wasn’t hungry for some reason he took his time to take out the trash while looking around at the scenery. It was odd really, they had houses and such, But no streets or hard pavement. The only pavement seemed to be inside some buildings or some small roads, but nothing big enough to drive upon. They were more like sidewalks that went around the town. Then it hit him, duh, How would a pony drive a car. “Oh well, best head back and see what Blooms up to now.”

Merry walked up to the playground where all the other fillies and colts were. Spotting Bloom was easy enough with her big red bow. Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo were sitting next to her on a bench with two more small ponies sitting across from them. A gray pony next to a pink pony...was that pink one wearing a tiara? Seriously these confound ponies were colorful and crazy. As Merry got closer he could hear two of them laughing, but it didn’t sound like Bloom or one her close friends. The laughing sounded like that of a bully, the kind of laugh used after an insult.

Merry quickened his pace and stood behind the two ponies that were clearly laughing as Bloom and her two friends had tears forming in their eyes. “You three are just going to be blank flanks forever, you should just rename your group to the cutie mark failures!”

Merry just felt a pang in his heart when he saw the tears in Blooms eyes. He wasn’t sure what it was, but he was pissed that these two unknown fillies were making his little Bloom and her two friends cry. So he spoke up “Forgive me Ms. Bloom, I have returned and yet it seems I missed some of the trash, please excuse me yet again.” He picked up the fillies, one in each arm.

“Hey what are you doing!?” Merry just smiled as they both struggled in his arms.

“Why, I’ve never seen trash talk before.” He just gave them a big toothy grin.

“We aren’t trash! Put us down!” by this point every pony in the school yard stopped to look at the ningen with the two struggling and yelling fillies.

Merry just glared at them then spoke in a deep voice with the smile up “As far as I’m concerned anything that makes Ms. Bloom and her friends cry, is trash.” Merry rushed over to the large trash bin on the other side of the school and tossed them both inside and closed the lid. He heard the two fillies shout and scream at how they were now covered in some gook. He felt a second pang in his heart.

Merry walked back over to the bench and got on one knee in front of Apple Bloom and her friends. “Ms. Bloom, Ms. Belle, and Ms. Scootaloo I apologize for not being here sooner to prevent such a travesty from occurring.”

Merry hung his head and then he finally recognized the second pang in his heart, it was sadness mixed with shame. They were children, and he always thought that children should live happy lives away from pain and the stress that being an adult brings. Merry could care less about grown ups, but young children always struck a chord in his heart, something about their innocence made his feelings stir. Even though they were bullies he still felt bad about throwing them in the trash can, just a little bit, they were bullies being mean to Bloom and her friends after all.

Bloom and the other two had wiped the tears out of their eyes as Bloom spoke up “Don’t worry about it Merry, thanks for getting rid of them, but throwing them in the trash can was pretty funny.” as Bloom began to giggle so did Sweetie Belle.

“Yeah! The way you stuck up for us was so cool! Then you threw them in the trash like that! You were all like Zoom! Whoosh! You’re the Trash!” Scootaloo was making sound effects with her mouth as she was acting out the scene again.

Ms. Cheerilee had walked out of the school room to shout that lunch time was over, and it was time to come inside, so they all went back inside to their seats and Ms. Cheerilee noticed that Silver Spoon and Diamond Tiara were missing.

“Has anypony seen Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon?”

Merry spoke up “Ah yeah I know where they went give me a second, I’ll go get them.” Merry ran out the door and over to the trash bin. He opened the lid and looked down inside as the ponies were too small to get out by themselves.

“Are you two ready to be nice ponies instead of mean trash now?”

They both looked up at Merry and had tears in their eyes, clearly having time to think in a smelly trash bin about their actions “yes, we’re sorry Mr. We won't do it again” they both looked down as a tear went down their faces.

'Shiiit, crying children and its my fault, now I feel bad.' “Well that’s good to hear, here let me help you out and get you cleaned up.”

Merry lifted them out and opened his backpack, bringing out a towel and a large water bottle along with some moist Towelettes. Hey they made good disinfecting wipes for cuts when you’re on the go, not to mention the burning sting they gave felt quite good.

Merry proceeded to wipe the gook off of them and making sure they at least looked clean, couldn’t really do anything about the smell, but the Towelettes got rid of most of it. “There, that’s the best I can do, let's get you back to the class now.”

They followed him back to the classroom and they went to their seats heads hung low, at least until Ms. Cheerilee asked them where they were.

“We uh...” Silver spoon and Diamond Tiara couldn’t think of anything, they couldn’t tell the entire class they were stuck in a trash bin.

“They were being mean to Ms. Bloom and her friends so I had them picking up trash as a punishment.”

Ms Cheerilee was shocked to hear that he had punished them “Merry, I would like it if you would leave punishments to me, as I am the teacher. But seeing as how they were already punished it seems everything has been settled,” Cheerilee looked over the two fillies then looked back to Merry, she has never seen them so humbled before “did you two already apologize?”

The two fillies turned to look at Apple Bloom and her friends “We are sorry, we won't do it again.”

Satisfied with the turn of events Ms. Cheerilee continued with her lessons until school was over.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Now its 3 PM and school kids were let out. All the fillies and colts cheered to leave after another boring day at school.

Merry followed the CMC outside until they all stopped under a nearby tree to discuss what to do for the rest of the day.

“What's the plan today girls? Today we got a helping hand to help us find our Cutie marks!” Merry began to wonder what a cutie mark was, he did notice a lot of the ponies had painted some kind of symbol on their backsides.

“Wait, you mean those symbols on everyone’s flank isn’t just some painted on picture?” Merry was wondering what was so great about getting what looked like a tramp stamp.

“It’s a cutie mark! A cutie mark appears when a pony figures out what his or her special talent is!”

“So wait, that pink pony wearing the tiara that also had a picture of a tiara for a ‘cutie mark’...Your telling me her special talent is to just wear a tiara on her head? That’s foolish” Merry shook his head in disappointment, these ponies and their crazy talents.

“Well, ah never thought about it before...A'hm sure it means more than that. But that doesn’t change the fact we wanna know what our special talent is!” Hopefully these marks are based upon what they are actually good at and enjoy doing. Not just some crazy lottery system that they are born with...some marks could be quite sad.

“Well then Ms. Bloom and friends, lead the way!” the CMC's got a huge grin on their face’s as they all looked at each other and began to whisper back and forth.

“With a knight it should be safe right?” Sweetie Belle says with a bit of a worry

“Yeah he can protect us if things go bad.” Scootaloo states matter of factly.

“Yeah then lets go look for some rare exotic bugs then!” Apple bloom whispers loudly with excitement

All three of the fillies take a deep breath then shout“CUTIE MARK CRUSADER RARE BUG HUNTERS ARE A GO!” and then began to run off.

Merry just scratched his head “Bug hunters huh? Sounds easy enough, guess I better catch up to em.” So he started running after the little fillies who were giggling the whole way.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

They arrived at the edge of a dark looking forest with a nearby cottage that had a bunch of bird houses and other little animal homes surrounding it. Odd how cozy it looked with that little bridge going over a small creek and that short winding pathway that lead to the door.

“Who lives in that house?”

“Oh Fluttershy lives in that house, she’s really good with animals and this part of the forest should be safer as it's so close to her house.” Safer? What did Scootaloo mean safer, what the hell lives in this forest?

“Soo, by safer you mean what exactly?” Merry tilted his head in thought.

“Safe in a sense that timber wolves don’t come by this section of the forest very much.” The orange filly said with a matter of fact tone. Probably the most annoying tone for a child.

“Well alright then lead the way. I’m not here to question you girls, just help.” Merry said with a smile. 'How dangerous can it be?'

They traveled past the cozy looking cottage and slowly walked into the forest. “Remember girls, we're bug hunting so we have to be quiet so we don’t scare em away into hiding...” Sweetie Belle just looked at Scootaloo with one eyebrow raised.

“What makes you the expert bug hunter?”

Merry just lightly chuckled “Shes kinda right you know, most rare bugs is rare because they run when they hear talking...” Merry just looked to his left and right to act like someone was watching.

Sweetie Belle just clenched her mouth closed to keep from scaring any more rare bugs away. They spent about 40 minutes wandering through the forest and all the while Merry was breaking branches as they went along.

“Merry, why do ya keep breaking branches like that?” Bloom had tilted her head with a confused look

“Oh, my sense of direction is really quite horrible, so I'm just leaving a trail to follow back is all. Besides, when you get lost in a forest for a day while on a camping trip, you tend to pick things up.” Merry chuckled a bit from his hard earned learning experience.

They all seemed to agree with that statement as even they got lost from time to time. Then a putrid smell rose to Merry’s nose “Hey girls, I think we should turn back its starting to smell rancid around here, and that’s never a good sign...” Merry stuck his arms out in front of the fillies and started to back up when he saw yellow eyes in the bushes ahead of them.

“G-Girls, I-I-I think we wandered in t-too deep” The unicorn fillies voice was trembling and stuttering as she spoke.

“Aye we have, stay behind me girl’s, let's back away slowly for now...” Merry and the three fillies began to slowly walk back as the glowing yellow eyes came out of the bush followed by what appeared to be a wolf made of wood and various tree parts.

Merry stopped walking for a bit and looked at it, ‘what the fuck? It's made of wood? Wouldn't that make it, an ACTUAL Timber wolf? Or is it just, covered in bark as a type of camo?'

The timber wolf opened its mouth to bark and Merry could see that it even had wooden teeth. “I think I can handle just one little wolf, don’t you think girls?”

“Apple Bloom shook her head, they can't be killed! Mah sis fought them before! They travel in packs and just fall apart and come back together when attacked! We have to run!” Bloom was visibly scared along with the other two fillies.

‘Le sigh...Guess I should get these kids out of here.’ Merry picked up the 3 fillies in his arms and began to run following his trail of broken branches as the Timber wolf howled and began to give chase.

After running with the fillies in hand for about 3 minutes the timber wolf was catching up. And Scootaloo who was looking over Merry's shoulder started yelling to look out. She was a little too late as the timber wolf lunged and bit down on Merry’s right leg. A sudden rush of pleasure was sent up his body causing him to shudder and increase his pace with the timber wolf being dragged behind falling apart as it bounced along the ground.

“Your leg is Bleeding!” shouted Sweetie.

Merry looked at his leg then smiled at the 3 fillies in his arms keeping his pace “I ain't got time to bleed!”

“At least put us down now! The wolf stopped chasing us! We can walk by ourselves now and you’re hurt!” All three fillies were looking up at him with eyes that were full of sadness and regret. “Aren’t you tired from running with all three of us?”

'Great' thought Merry, 'now the kids feel bad I got hurt. And thinking of it now, I’m not tired for some reason, another perk to being undead I guess?' “It is a Knights duty to ensure the safety of innocents and children, do not fret over me getting hurt doing my job.”

The rancid smell was suddenly back and before he could spin around a timber wolf jumped out of the bushes to bite down onto Merry’s left arm. Merry however didn’t scream or yell, the fillies just stood shocked and wide eyed at the sudden turn of events.

“Well would you look at that, it would seem the pack has caught up with us,” Merry turned to look at the 3 fillies and completely ignored the wolf biting his left arm. “Follow the trail of broken branches girls I will join you shortly at the cozy cottage.”

The three fillies just shook their heads and ran off following the trail of branches “Were gonna go get Fluttershy to help!”

“Take your time girls” Merry shouted back at them with a smile.

“Well with the girls gone I guess I can get down to business.” Merry dug through his pocket to pull out his iPod and picked out the song Disturbed - Indestructible and put both headphones into his ears with the Timber wolf still snarling on his left arm. Good thing he was right handed.

“Ya know, if I didn’t have my stupid regeneration, I would totally be worried right now, but it seems I only have to worry about head wounds. As it stands now...” Merry took a deep breath and shouted “I’M AN INDESTRUCTIBLE MASTER OF WAAAAARRR!!!”

The timber wolf suddenly opened its glowing yellow eyes as Merry shouted into its face, With his headphones in he couldn’t hear the timber wolf begin to whimper as he slammed the wolf gripping his arm into the ground ripping the flesh from his arm off as the wolf was smashed into the ground falling apart.

“I wonder if you fuckers can burn” Merry got a huge smile on his face as he saw the flesh of his forearm begin to grow back slowly. He then opened up his backpack and brought out his favorite jet lighter and lit it up.

The wolf started to reform and two more sets of eyes began to glow from the nearby bushes as the rancid smell increased in intensity. He walked over to the reforming wolf and stepped on one of the larger branches and set the dried bark on fire with his lighter. Then let it go and float back to the reforming timber wolf.

When the Timber wolf finally pulled itself back together it realized its front left leg was on fire and it was rapidly spreading to the rest of its body. As it ran around in a circle the flames began to spread even more until it fell over in a heap no longer moving. Merry just smiled a wicked toothy grin.

“Good to know you fuckers can burn, Bawhahaha!” While Merry stood there laughing as the other two timber wolves jumped at him. The 1st one bit his right knee while the other had lunged higher and grabbed Merry by the throat.

Merry smiled as blood trickled out of his mouth. He brought the lighter up and set the wolf biting his throat on fire, then slammed his right knee into the ground smashing the timber wolf’s head along with his kneecap.

The timber wolf on his throat refused to let go as it burned to death. The flames licked Merry’s face in a pleasurable pattern as his body was rapidly healing the burns.

'The feeling of being healed and destroyed at the same time is such a unique pleasure...I could get used to this self destructive way of fighting.'

The wolf around his neck fell limp to the floor on top of the other timber wolf before it could reform, effectively burning up with the other one.

“Well now that’s over with time to head back I guess...” Merry realized his knee cap was still rather very well shattered. Making his right leg, effectively useless. “Guess bones take some extra time to heal?” So Merry fell down to a sitting pose to set, well hopefully, set it in the right place and let it start healing.

“It's so hard to tell how fucked up something is when it always feels good.” Merry sighed a bit and realized his knee cap had started reforming, but for some reason it wasn’t finishing.

“Well shit, Can knee caps even heal normally?” Merry figured he should start heading out even with his knee cap still messed up, he could always hop on one leg anyway.

Merry had spent about 3 minutes hopping along the path seeing as how when he placed weight on his right leg, it would give out and bend in...Not the right direction or place as he fell. He obviously broke more than just his knee cap when he slammed down on that timber wolf’s face.

‘Well shit, all those cracking noise’s weren't just that wolf's head. How much strength did I gain being undead? I’ve never broken my leg just slamming it as hard as I could into the ground on something... And suddenly, I’m extremely hungry.’

~~~~~

“G-g-girls what do you mean your k-k-knight Merry is fighting t-t-timber wolves!?” Fluttershy was wondering why the 3 fillies were so panicked when they knocked on her door. She was now currently sorry she even opened the door. And who was Merry?

The 3 fillies had tears in their eye’s “Please Fluttershy he stayed behind so we could get away! We have to go back for him, he was already hurt when we left to get help!”

As soon as Fluttershy heard this pony knight Merry was hurt protecting the girls she lost her fear and rushed into the house and came back in less than 10 seconds with a 1st Aid box in her mouth. “Eead the the aay girls!”

And with that they rushed back toward the Everfree Forest following the trail of broken branches back hoping Merry was still ok.

~~~~~

“God damn I’m so hungry...and the flesh on my arm and leg didn’t fully heal as well, I wonder how my neck looks. Well, probably not that good. Seeing as how my entire body feels all tingly. I'm certain I'm still riddled with wounds, so much for my super healing, I guess it has a limit.” As Merry continued to one leg hop from tree to tree he could hear some shouting.

“This way Fluttershy! Merry broke branches ta make a path for us ta follow!” Ah, good old Ms. Bloom came back, with help it seems. Guess I’ll just sit down here.

Merry slid down against a tree and started to relax, suddenly feeling tired.

“He's over here,” shouted Sweetie Belle “And he looks horrible!” The three fillies ran up to Merry and began to nuzzle against him while Fluttershy flew up and saw Merry, shocked to find out he wasn’t a pony, but still glad he was still alive.

“Oh don’t worry strange knight, I’ll make you better in no time.” She opened the 1st aid box and began to take out the gauze along with bandages and wrapped it around all the blooded areas after disinfecting them, his neck, and arm. She moved to start on his leg before Merry stopped her.

“Hang on a sec, I think something is really wrong with my right leg, when I tried to stand on it, it sort of bent the wrong way” Merry just smiled at her shocked expression. Fluttershy visibly gulped and went to inspect his right leg, the rips in the cloth made it easy to see his leg and pulling it back a little his leg was exposed.

Fluttershy loudly gasped at his leg as tear's started to roll down her face, the 3 fillies turned to look at his leg and even they began to cry.

“This looks really bad...” Fluttershy whispered. Merry looked down at his leg and realized it was really bad. The bone was poking through several areas of his thigh and his kneecap was pretty much, not a cap, and his leg was so swollen it looked like a friggin Balloon.

“It's all our fault! If we never came out here to go stupid Bug hunting you wouldn’t of gotten so hurt saving us!” The 3 fillies were crying on Merry’s chest and lap.

'Dammit, crying children, my one weakness.' “Hey, No more tears, I’ll be fine. Besides...It's just a non-fatal wound, some bed rest and I’ll be fine I’m sure. Also, as long as you three are ok, so am I.” Merry had a big smile on his face as he petted the three fillies “Besides, it's not any of your faults I got hurt, No one planned for the wolves to attack. It's like I always say ‘Shiitake happens.’”

The three fillies started to calm down a bit. “What’s a Shiitake?” Merry just laughed.

“Don’t worry about it right now, 1st lets get out of here.”

“But you can't walk with your leg like that!” shouted Fluttershy

“Who said anything about walking? I'm going to hop myself out of here, let's go” Merry stood up on his one leg and began to hop from tree to tree like he did before.

“How can you even stand to move around with so many wounds?” Fluttershy just had a look of utter shock on her face “Doesn’t it hurt to even move?”

Merry just smiled back at her “Of course it hurts, but it would pain me more if we got attacked again because of me just sitting around. And I’m a little too big to hop on top of you and ride.”

Merry chuckled to himself for a bit while Fluttershy just blushed at the idea. ‘Oh god, don’t tell me she thought that was sexual’

After much pleasurable hopping they reached the edge of the forest and Merry had to start doing some kind of balanced hopping to the Cozy cottage. At least until Fluttershy decided to let him lean on her for some support and rest.

'Seriously, why am tired and hungry now? When before it never bothered me? Was it because of the damage I took?'

After they got inside Fluttershy lead Merry upstairs to the bed and told him to strip down so she could take proper care of his wounds. Fluttershy told the three fillies to wait downstairs while she worked.

Merry just shrugged at the idea of stripping naked in front of a pony, and proceeded to do so, his pants being the hardest to do so as the bones sticking out kept getting caught in the cloth, sending a disturbing good feeling though his body, so much so his soldier began to stand at attention.

‘Well that’s no good, I’ll just leave my underwear on then, no point in taking them off anyway I guess. Besides I'm pretty sure its rude to have a boner when you’re this fucked up looking...or maybe it's just a sign I'm still healthy? Wait, how does an undead even get a boner? Fuck I'm some crazy kinda undead.’ Merry shrugged the thought away as he laid in the super comfy bed.

“Now this is probably going to hurt a lot, I'm going to have to reset the bones in your thigh so they can start healing properly, I brought you this to bite down on” She hoofed Merry a small piece of wood wrapped in cloth. Merry smiled at her, wondering what she would think if she knew he was going to enjoy it a little too much.

Merry placed the cloth covered stick in his mouth and bit down...it reminded him of a gag ball, shit.

Fluttershy began to gently push the bones back into place, Merry was surprised she was so gentle. There was very little pleasure at all, much to Merry’s dissatisfaction. By the time she was done Merry’s hard on was completely gone.

Then things got better as Fluttershy grabbed what looked like a large pair of thin tweezers. “I’m sorry I’m not a unicorn so I can't numb the pain for you, but bear with it while I make sure they are in place...um, if you don’t mind...”

“Not at all, do what you must.” Merry put the wood back into his mouth as Fluttershy held the big tweezers in one hoof (how I have no idea, but it must be magic). She gently put the tweezers into the holes and gently gripped the bones and lined them up best she could trying to cause as little pain as possible...

For the love of, this gentle attitude is boring “Hey, no need to be so gentle, just make sure it's done right so it heals quickly.” Fluttershy just looked at Merry then looked back to his leg.

“O-ok....” With that she became a little rougher as she started pushing the muscles out of the way to place the bones in their place as quickly as possible. ‘Awww yeah, that’s the stuff’

After a few minutes she began to wrap up his leg in some bandages to cover the holes from the bones popping out, then placed his leg in a splint to keep it in place.

“There, all done. I’m going to get you some food. And umm...” Fluttershy began to blush while looking at Merry's boxers “we should wait till you're all better before...um...we um” She then rushed out of the room

Merry face palmed ‘I guess she did see my boner after all. Confound these ponies.’ Merry began to unwrap his arm to check and see if any of it has healed anymore since he last saw it.

Nope, still looks like some shitty chief practiced his filleting technique on my arm. At least the muscle was back, just the skin was missing, leaving his muscle exposed. His neck had healed from the bite wounds, only some scabs remained.

As Merry began to re-wrap his arm Fluttershy followed by the three fillies came up to the room with a tray filled with soup, bread, and a glass of milk.

“Ahh, just in time, I’m so hungry right now it's stupid.” Merry started to dig into the soup and bread, dipping the bread into the soup to make it more flavorful. The three fillies and Fluttershy just watched as Merry gulped down all the food and finish the glass of milk in one go.

“Ahh that was good, but I'm still hungry, think you can get me something with more protein?”

“Umm, sure, but like what?”

“Oh you know, nuts, cheese, milk, eggs, meat, stuff like that.” Fluttershy wasn’t as shocked to hear he eats meat as the three fillies were.

“You eat meat?” Bloom asked

“Yup, I do, it’s what helps keep me strong, but the other foods should do just fine.” Bloom shook her head and went downstairs with Fluttershy to get more food.

It just hit Merry again, Ponies don't eat meat, why would they have any? God damn I’m such an idiot. Speaking of, I wonder how they feel about meat eaters... He looked at Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo and smiled “you know I wouldn’t eat you guys right?”

The 2 fillies looked at each other and laughed “ Of course we know that, you saved us silly. And besides if you wanted to eat us, I’m sure that would of happened long ago.” Scootaloo said again, with that matter of fact tone.

Merry took the bandage off his arm again and realized the skin was starting to grow back. ‘Well would ya look at that, do I only get hungry when my body needs more materials to get the regeneration in working order? Only more food will tell.' Fluttershy came back upstairs with Bloom who also had a tray on her back.

“Ok we got you a bunch of nuts, milk, and cheese. I don’t carry any meat...don’t be mad....” Fluttershy started to hide behind her mane.

'So cute! Where did that thought come from?' “Don’t worry about it, I just realized ponies don’t eat meat, so not having any doesn’t surprise me.” Merry began to eat, or more like inhale the food and drink again. He suddenly felt full as he took the last bite of cheese, and only sleepy.

Merry yawned, “Alright, you three girls head home, I'm going to take a nap now. I’m sure I’ll be better when I wake up.” Merry looked at the clock and realized it was 5P.M. “Sorry I had to cut the day of knight service short Bloom, hope you can forgive me.”

Bloom shook her head, “Don’t fret about it, I forgive ya, just get better ok?” With that Merry waved Bloom and her friends off so he could take a nap.

~~~~

The three fillies just looked at Fluttershy “Will he git any better after his nap?”

“I don’t think so girls, you saw his leg, that’s going to take a lot of time to heal...but he will be fine.” Fluttershy just looked up at her bedroom door and thought about the strange Knight in her bed... She blushed.

Author's Notes:

Self insert self insert! Actually my personality and mannerisms are what I'm basing the character off of. Any bad grammar and misspelled words during Dialog are done on purpose.