Prologue:

Sometimes I wonder what my life would have been like had I never gone back to Hollow Shades. Sure, it was probably inevitable that I end up there somehow, a fly caught in the web of fate, but who knows for sure? There are Things out there far more powerful than fate, so just about anything is conceivable.

I know I never would have been able to live with myself if I just left the only real family I’d ever known to their fate, nevermind that they were an adopted family. Thus, perhaps a better question would be: ‘What would my life have been like if I had never had a reason to go back to Hollow Shades?’ My family was more precious to me than life itself, but I had every reason to insist on them coming to visit me in Canterlot rather me going to visit them back in that forsaken town. They would have understood and readily agreed to such an arrangement as well, knowing full well what pain and suffering I had endured in that sleepy little burg, back before they adopted me.

In fact, I didn’t go back to Hollow Shades until a few years after the town was initially sealed off. It wasn’t like the government would have readily let me back in, and the force field they set up around the town would have zapped me into ash had I tried to push through it. Besides, I had every reason, back then at least, to believe the government when they told me that everything was under control. There was no cause for alarm. Everypony in Hollow Shades was safe, and even if they weren’t, military relief was sent in regularly.

Of course it worried me that I received no news from the family who had adopted me, and who I had adopted in turn. The government claimed that the force field cancelled out any civilian messaging systems, even spell phones. Only the military instruments would work around the site, and they had to be reserved for the military itself.

But by and large, there was no reason for me not to trust that my family, despite being at the site of the largest disaster in Equestrian history, was completely safe. This knowledge comforted me enough to keep the worries I had from completely ruining my new and optimistic life in Canterlot.

From the moment I first stepped off the skywagon, the capital city of Equestria had turned out to be more than I had ever hoped it would be. I loved every minute of it—the rush, the excitement, the grand scheme of it all that was so far removed from the sleepy, quiet, small town life of Hollow Shades.

Skyscrapers rose alongside the classical, palatial towers of The Canterlot Castle where the princesses lived. I even got to see them in person at a public function once. They were so much more magnificent in real life than anything I had seen of them through the telecrystals back home.

Back ‘home’... No, that term doesn’t even apply to Hollow Shades anymore, not after I moved into Canterlot University. The only reason I had been able to get out of that town hidden in the dark woods of northeastern Equestria in the first place was because of The University. It was home now, and had been ever since I first realized that Canterlot wasn’t going to be just a repeat of Hollow Shades. Nopony was going to hurt me here. There would be no new scars, no more fitful nights of crying into my pillow and nursing my wounds. That bastard drunkard who had once called himself my father, before my adopted family rescued me, was miles away in a prison in a town I planned never to revisit. Meanwhile, I was here, and safe.

I even made friends. Well, one, anyway—but Lucius Umbra Chiaroscuro, or just ‘Lucius,’ was enough.

Ironically enough, Lucius even hailed from Hollow Shades as well, though I had never met him back when I was forced to live there. He had revealed to me that this was because he was, as he called it, ‘home schooled,’ though he didn’t like to talk about Hollow Shades anymore than I did. Thus, I didn’t press the matter, and he didn’t press mine. I could see no scars on him, but there was something dark lingering just behind his eyes, something that promised that his past wasn’t all that jolly an experience either.

Lucius was even a batpony like I was, though he was lanky and tall where I was short and petite. His light gray, almost silvery coat contrasted quite heavily with my pale blue, but his midnight-black mane and tail were closer in coloration to my dark-blue hair.

He always teased me by saying I looked like a tiny Princess Luna, and I would always blush and protest that nothing could be further from the truth. She was so tall and stunning, as if all the wonder of the world by the light of The Moon had been molded into pony form. She was beautiful, and I, well... I wasn’t. On top of being naturally small, years of more or less fending for myself... among other things... hadn't exactly done wonders for my appearance, my self-esteem, or how I carried myself. Sure, I could put on a brave face and laugh in public, but, well... Time may heal all wounds, but that doesn’t mean you forget who caused them, or how bad it felt when they were fresh.

But I’ve gotten so far off topic my train of thought has derailed. I was going to explain what life would be like for me if I never needed to go back to Hollow Shades, wasn’t I? I think that was it... Well, if it was, what I would have most liked to have done is finished my senior year at Canterlot University. I would want to have (and probably would have, by the way—‘smarts’ was one of the few areas I shone in) graduated with full honors and be awarded top-of-the-class merits for my work earning my Historical Studies major. Then, I would have wanted to settle down somewhere in a nice apartment at Canterlot, maybe working for The Museum of Equine History. I could have travelled across Equestria, never once going near Hollow Shades. Instead I would have visited places of actual historical significance, like Dream Valley, or even the now-famous Ponyville where The Bearers of The Elements of Harmony had once lived.

That would have been nice.

        But, as I’m sure you’ve guessed from the get-go, none of that happened.

Instead, everything went wrong, and all Hell broke loose—literally.

It all started with the nightmares. And then came the therapy visits. And then there was The Arcane Almanac...

But I’m getting ahead of myself.

Now, before I go any further with the story of how I eventually ended up back in Hollow Shades, and what happened there... I feel that I should warn you. Much of my life hasn’t been the most pleasant series of experiences, and the majority of my return to the town that had scarred me so was just a new chapter in that struggle. Sure, I went back to put an end to all that darkness, and when the end comes I hope I’ll have done just that—not just for me, but for everypony—it’s just that, well...

I don’t want to scare you, but there’s some pretty bad stuff coming up. I wouldn’t blame you if you set my tale aside and read something cheerier instead.

But if you do feel so inclined to read on, I thank you for taking the time to read the story of my life, and what I did when everything went wrong.

And oh, I’ve forgotten to actually introduce myself, haven’t I? My name is Neverwas. Pleased to meet you.

. . .

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