“RAAAAR!” the mare roared as I jumped back, defensively covering Fluttershy with my own body. My battle instincts took over and I was suddenly rearing back, preparing myself for a fight.

“Back away, creature! I won’t tell you twice!” I said, waving my forelegs at the strange pink assailant. The mare then sat down and laughed.

“HA-HA! Got you!” she laughed, rolling on the ground now, “You should have seen the look on your face! I was like RAAAAR! And you were like AAAHHH! It was too funny!” I stood there, baffled. I lowered myself back to ground as Fluttershy moved beside me.

“This is my friend Pinkie Pie,” whispered Fluttershy, requiring me lean in to hear her. Pinkie Pie was an earth pony, who was well-named as she was quite pink in colour. Her mane was a slightly darker shade of pink, but pink nonetheless. Her Cutie Mark depicted three balloons; two blue and one yellow. Having never seen any cutie mark like it, I wondered what it stood for.

“Hey, wait a moment! You’re new here in Ponyville, right?” She suddenly said, shattering my thoughts. “I mean, I know everyone in town, but I don’t know you. Which brings me to the conclusion that you’re not from around here… AM I NOT CORRECT?” She was suddenly wearing a detective-style hat as she added that last part. She held a magnifying glass close to me, examining my face. I didn’t even see her put on the hat. It just… appeared.

“Uh… yes. I am new here in Ponyville. My name is Red Storm. Pleasure to meet-"

“Oh, but the pleasure is mine, Red Storm! I finally get to meet someone NEW! It’s been over a week since I made a new friend, and I was beginning to think that I had already met everyone there is to meet! I know everypony in town, in the Crystal Empire, and I even know all of the Royal Guards in Canterlot! But now you’re here, and that means I get to throw you a WELCOME TO PONYVILLE PARTY!” I swallowed at this notion, and my eyes went wide. Primarily because in place of the detective’s hat, there was a party hat, and there was suddenly balloons and streamers surrounding her. 'WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?' But a party? For me? I cannot allow it. Someone in town is bound to know about my hieritage, and if I am discovered, then it would only be a matter of time before I would be run out of town, followed by an angry mob armed with pitchforks and torches.

“You don’t say?… That sounds wonderful, however,” I began, showing her my wing, “I am in no condition for a party. Can we perhaps… delay the event? I would prefer to just meet the rest of Fluttershy’s friends, then find a nice hotel to stay at for a week or so. Then, once my wing is fully healed, we can talk about planning such an event. Until then, can you promise me that you’ll pretend we never met?” Pinkie Pie jumped at the word “Promise”. She shoved everything she had on hand into a nearby tree trunk before saying:

“I promise! Cross my heart, hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye!” As she said this odd rhyme, she, well… crossed her heart and then poked herself in the eye. Then she turned away from me and faced Fluttershy.

“Hiya Fluttershy! How are you today?” The mare pretended as if I wasn’t even there anymore. A strange one, that one is. I attempted to not ponder the contents of her mind.

“Didn’t you already say hello to me?” The buttermilk mare asked, playing along. Pinkie Pie looked straight up before saying:

“Nope! Just look at paragraph three! I scared you, then I started to laugh at scaring you, but I forgot to say hi in the process!” We both looked at her sideways.

“Paragraph three? What are you talking about?” I asked her, but she just kept on looking at Fluttershy. Fluttershy, taking note of this, asked her the same question.

“Oh, never mind!” the pink earth pony giggled, “Just breaking dimensional laws again! Anyway… I need to get going. The Cakes have a lot of work for me today! Got cupcakes to bake, and walls to break! See you later!” And with that, she jumped into a nearby bush, vanishing without a trace. I stood gaping for a moment or two, before I checked the bush. Nothing. No secret tunnel, no trapdoor, no magic residue. Nothing at all. She had once again broken all logic and laws of nature. How does the pony do it? I turned to Fluttershy, who stood waiting for me to finish my little investigation.

“You act as if this is normal, or even possible. Why?” I asked. Fluttershy simply shrugged and plainly responded:

“It’s just how Pinkie works. She’s impossible to understand… She’s a force of nature, in a sense.” I thought about it for a moment, before saying:

“Yes, well, if I didn’t know any better, I would say that she is Discord in disguise.” I paused, wondering the plausibility of that. No… definitely not. “So, we are off to ‘Sweet Apple Acres’… to meet…?”

“Applejack.”

“Right then! Off we go! From her location, I presume she is a farmer? We have but a few more hours, and I shall not keep you up into the night!” I then leaned in close, putting on a suave grin. “I would say that a mare needs her beauty sleep, but you seem to get more than plenty!” She blushed, running a hoof through her mane, before leading on at a brisk pace. As I trotted to keep up, I heard the same voice from earlier:

'Flattery will get you nowhere here, mongrel.'