Author’s thoughts: Well… here we are… Chapter XXX… The Act III finale. Damn. I have really come a ways from the first chapter, eh?... Uhh… I dread having to write out the transition… Perhaps I will have my wonderful Co-author write it for me. Yeah…… I’m sorry, I am forgetting where I am again. ONWARDS TO THE GRAND FINALE! Well, this grand finale… screw it, just frickin’ read it already.

I opened my eyes, and I was inside a dark room. I looked about, and only a shed of light poked through a boarded up window. I lay on a bed of straw, and the air smelled of decay. The room I was in was heavily decayed, and the wooden planks used in its construction were eaten through by termites. I arose, and checked myself… ‘Wait a minute...’ My coat was now… olive green? I ran a hoof through my mane and pulled some forward to look at it. Golden. ‘Very odd indeed...’ Suddenly, I smelled smoke, and I heard screams. I was then afraid, for some reason. I heard what sounded like an explosion, and more screams. Then, the door to my room swung open. There, was a mare who had an identical coat, but red mane. Her eyes were a hazel brown.

“Brother! Come! We must leave! The Guard are here!” I followed the mare who claimed to be my sister out of instinct. I galloped behind her as fast as my legs could take me, realizing that I was no longer a pegasus, either. We emerged from the back door of the house to fire and death. Whoever these “Guards” were, they were taking no prisoners. I followed my sister away from the fires and screams, retreating into the night. We ran and ran and ran, and I didn’t even know what we were running from. I looked behind me, and saw billowing smoke and the firelight from the burning town behind me. Suddenly, I ran into somepony. I fell to the ground and looked up. I saw a familiar black stallion with a red-and-black mane, with blood red eyes. He held my now-dead sister in his jaws. I was paralyzed with fear, for I gazed upon the only pony I have ever feared. I faced War incarnate.

My head pounded as I awoke slowly. I looked around. I was not at the cottage. I was in a room dominated by the colour pink; the walls, the drapes, the carpet, the ceiling, the dressers and even the bed I lay in were all pink. I blinked, with the pains beginning to subside as my eyes adjusted. Suddenly, a pink mare popped into the room. She was a unicorn with a bright pink coat, bright blue mane, and green eyes. ‘Green eyes… green eyes… why does that set off warning flags?’ She balanced a tray of wheat cakes and orange juice on her back, along with a small shot glass of a familiar red fluid. ‘Uhh… this damn hangover… why does this all seem so wrong?’

The pink mare whom I haven’t even seen in town placed the tray in front of me. She then proceeded to give me the shot. I shed a tear as the liquid passed my gullet. ‘OHHOLYSWEETLUNAWAKEUPJUICEOHHEAVENLYHELLITBURNSSOBADOHKILLMENOWMYBRAINISONFIREWHYISITASHOT’ I shook off the burning sensation in my frontal lobe as she began to feed me like a foal. Something about this whole thing seemed wrong. It seemed familiar… yet alien. She fed me my wheat cakes and left as quickly as she arrived. A few minutes later, she stepped back into the room. She lay down next to me, eyes gleaming. She then said:

“So, hon; did you have fun last night? I did.” She then smiled a nasty smile. Then the Wake-Up-Juice kicked in and the puzzle pieces clicked into place.

“Whitewash… did we… last night?” The pink mare in front of me giggled before her horn lit up, changing her back into the crème mare I know.

“Of course not. I brought you back here because I knew you would likely get with some drunk mare and catch something. I am your bodyguard… unless you forgot.” I scrunched my nose in frustration before getting off the bed. I moved towards the door, and Whitewash moved in front of me with uncanny speed, blocking my exit.

“Ah-ah!” she teased, “No visiting the bride before the wedding. It’s bad luck.” I snorted in her face.

“I was headed to the cottage for my suit, and to prepare for the wedding. Spike said she would be at the boutique. I also need to make sure Angel hasn’t destroyed the cottage.” Whitewash rolled her eyes.

“I will go for you. Stay here, your highness. It’s in your best interest. And don’t worry; we can get you all ready here. Plus, I already talked to Twilight. The wedding is going to be at town hall. We have everything covered.”

“Security?”

“Taken care of.”

“Has my sister arrived?”

“She’s at the reception now.”

“Any other guests I should know about?”

“Practically everypony in town will be there. This is going to be the first wedding in Ponyville in decades.” I rolled my eyes. ‘Great. As if I needed any more attention.’

“Very well. I shall wait here, captain.” She flicked her head and walked out, closing the door behind her. I moved around the suite. It was surprising spacy, having a full kitchen, living room, bedroom, dining room, and bathroom. I also found there was an indoor pool. It occurred to me that the “suite” likely took up the entire upper floor. It may have been normally reserved for royal visits… It also occurred to me that she likely used the cover of foreign royalty, with her armour and vast wealth. Oh well.

I was in the pool when the front door opened. I got out and began to dry myself, but Whitewash entered the room before I could finish. I was still a bit damp, and she commented on it:

“Mmm… I never noticed how muscular you are, Red Storm. Now I’m kinda wishing I did take advantage of you last night.” I gave her a dark stare, and she promptly shut up, leaving the room quickly. I finished drying myself, and made my way back into the living room, surprised to find another stallion waiting there. He was a light brown stallion with a sandy-blonde mane. He wore a black undershirt with an olive drab combat vest, and wore dark-tinted sunglasses. About his waist was an incredibly rare firearm, likely a relic of the older times when gunpowder was more widely used. He gave me a wave and a “Hello, my friend!” in a thick accent before moving to the kitchen, presumably to find something to eat. I turned to Whitewash who was waiting on the couch.

“Who the devil is that?” I asked the crème mare. She merely scoffed.

“That’s Glock. He’s old friend of mine, and I asked him to supervise the wedding. He is a master marksman, and he has saved my life more than once. Don’t worry about it.” I nodded slowly. Suddenly, there was a gunshot. I was deafened by the noise, and looked to the kitchen. There, Glock stood over a gunned-down watermelon. I heard him mumble “I really hate watermelons.” I looked back to Whitewash, who just gave me a “sorry” look. On the coffee table was my suit, neatly folded and ready for wear.

“Very well then… let’s get ready. The wedding is in a few hours, and we have no time to spare.”

I arrived at the town hall building at a quarter to eight o’clock. The sun was setting, and so I looked myself over once more. I was satisfied with my appearance. The wind from flying had hardly ruffled my suit (which I did not really care for) and I was early for the sermon. Good. Now, just to go…in…side…

‘Come on, you coward. It is your wedding day. You have come farther than I ever expected from you, so don’t chicken out now.’

‘Silence, damn you. I am fine. Just… fine.’

I stepped into the town hall building with my heart in my gut, and vise versa. I was so nervous it hurt. Like, physically, it hurt. My chest hurt, and I was blaming the stress. I looked around, and the reception was packed. Ponies to the left of me… ponies to the right of me… ponies in front of me… and the ceaseless prattling of dozens. I found my sister in the masses of the technicolour ponies, who was chatting up a stallion who looked deathly afraid of her. She was rather oblivious to this fact, and didn’t even notice my arrival until I tapped her shoulder. The moment she turned to face me, the stallion ran off into the crowd.

“Brother! My, my, you look dashing!” I looked down at my suit. Indeed. I wore a white suit with a red tie. One might say that it looked odd contrasting my coat, but I thought it was fairly nice. It had some minor stitching patterns along the coat and the like, but it didn’t really matter to me. What I found interesting was that it had blood ruby studs in the buttons and cufflinks, likely costing a small fortune on Rarity’s part. Oh well. Element of Generosity, right?

“Thank you, sister. I am excited and nervous for the wedding. It begins in what, twenty minutes? This is going to be the biggest event of my life.” My sister nodded. I then noticed that she was wearing a Sanguinary dress; it was a deep red in color with velvet additions. It had blood rubies all over it, along with a gold-and-blood ruby collar clip. She reminded me of one of Dracula’s brides. No wonder she couldn’t find a stallion who wasn’t scared senseless of her. She was intimidating me. Suddenly, Rarity ran up to me.

“Red Storm! Oh, my! You look marvelous dear! I am happy to say that Fluttershy is ready. I cannot say that I… agree with her choice of wedding attire, but I tried to make it as presentable as possible.

“Huh? What do you-”

“I’m sorry, I really must go, and I have other things to do last second…” She then dashed off to the other side of the room. Then Twilight Sparkle appeared.

“Oh! Good to see you made it. We need to get ready to start the ceremony… I need to get together all the bridesmares and assemble at the altar. See you there!” And without another word, she disappeared. I get that this is a big day, but damn. Can’t anypony just string more than three sentences before disappearing?

There was a loud horn signal that got everypony’s attention. Then, the ponies began to file to their seats. I guess this is it. I started for down the aisle.

“Are you ready, brother? You look nervous.”

“You don’t say?” I said rather sarcastically, giving her a dumb look. My sister scowled, but said nothing. I stepped past her, and up to the altar. It just occurred to me then and there, that I had never met her father. Would he be walking her up the aisle? My question was silently answered as organs began to play the “here comes the bride” song. I was not prepared for what came next. I saw Fluttershy walk through the Gathering Hall doors, but she was not wearing your standard gown. She wore a gown of rose petals and velvet, which trailed behind her in an eerie way. The dress was also spattered with red patterns that looked a lot like some pony got butchered over the dress. It was also studded with dozens of blood rubies along the breast of the dress, and they sparkled like droplets of blood. Her veil was a dark red, hiding her blue eyes, and her wreath was made of rose vines. In her mouth she carried a bouquet of white roses… The standard Sanguine Kingdom wedding gown. I was horrified to say the least, and it showed. My mouth was agape, and I had to force myself to shut it before anypony noticed. Not that anypony would, seeing as they all had the same reaction as me, staring. Fluttershy had some sort of newfound courage, as she barely paid any attention to the ponies staring at her. I couldn’t take my eyes off of her though. I was honestly surprised. A Sanguine proposal is one thing, but a Sanguine wedding?... It would explain why her father is not by her side… But I don’t see anypony who resembles her in the crowd. I then spotted Angel in the front row, in a tuxedo, making another rude hand gesture. ‘Watch yourself, you little bastard. I’m gonna be here until you die and after. Strangely, he reacted as if I had said that out loud, his eyes going wide.

She stepped up to the altar and took her place by my side. I saw that all of the bridesmares and groomscolts were staring at her. Something in my head went *click* and I realized that according to tradition, I was the one to remove her veil. I did so, revealing her beautiful blue eyes once more. They looked into mine, almost pleading, as if she was saying: ‘I’m sorry. Are you ok with this?’ I nodded slowly and looked at the pony who was holding the sermon. I was surprised when I realized that it was the Princess of Love herself. ‘Of course. Shining Armor is here, why wouldn’t his wife be here too?’ Princess Cadance seemed unfazed by Fluttershy’s apparel. I’m sure she had seen worse. The princess unfurled her wings, and began:

“Today we join this lovely couple as they come together in holy matrimony. To live together through thick and thin, sun and rain, illness and health. To love each other under any and all circumstances over any distance…” I could have sworn Cadance shot a look at Shining Armor then, but perhaps I was mistaken, as I was still gazing into my bride’s eyes. The princess then looked at me.

“Red Storm:” I broke the gaze to face the princess. “Do you take Fluttershy to be your lawfully wedded wife, until death do you part?”

“I do.”

“Fluttershy, do you take Red Storm to be your lawfully wedded husband, until death do you part?”

“I… do.”

“Then by the power invested in me by the Princesses of the Sun and Moon, I pronounce you husband and wife! You may kiss the bride!” I looked to Fluttershy, and before I could react, she pulled me into a kiss.

“Or, perhaps, the bride may kiss the groom, I suppose.” Cadance quickly offered. The two of us quickly broke the kiss, and while Fluttershy was blushing, I swept her up with one foreleg and seated her on my back. I unfurled my wings and started galloping down the aisle.

“Come everypony, the after party awaits!” I once again received cheers. Somehow I get that a lot from this crowd. Glock bucked open the doors and I leaped over him, screeching to a halt as I landed.

“I’m sorry, dear. I never let you throw your bouquet!” Fluttershy looked down at her hooves, before throwing the bouquet directly at the bridesmares. It flew over the fighting mares’ heads and landed right in Twilight Sparkle’s outstretched hooves. I could see her blush from where I was standing, but I did not stand for long. I quickly made my way back to the reception area, where Pinkie Pie had set up a party right after we had left the room. I have said it before, and I will say it again. She is the spawn of Discord.

I set Fluttershy down, and we walked side-by-side to the massive cake made by the Cakes. It was five tiers tall, and on the top were two wedding cake ornaments depicting Fluttershy and I. I jumped up, and using an old wing-slash technique cut the cake in one swift movement. I took a plate and placed one slice on it for Fluttershy and me to share. I left the rest of the cake to the other ponies. Fluttershy and I moved to the steps of the town hall to enjoy our cake, and to gaze upon the now-night sky. The stars twinkled as we took turns feeding the cake (which I discovered to be red velvet, my favorite) to each other. We could hear everypony partying inside, but paid little attention to that. Soon, we finished that slice of cake together and were simply sitting side-by-side, Fluttershy with her head resting on my shoulder. Suddenly, I hear music start inside, and I immediately jump up.

“Fluttershy… do you hear that sound?” She cocked an ear towards the window. It sounded like a bunch of tone-deaf ponies attempting karaoke.

“Yes… Why?”

“I must go.”

“What?”

“Inside. I must perform, and give those ponies a lesson in music.” Fluttershy simply nodded with a rather confused as I moved inside.

Inside, my worst fears were confirmed. Drunken ponies were using a karaoke machine. This was absolutely unacceptable. I made my way through the crowd, and stepped up to Pinkie Pie, and whispered a favor in her ear. She looked excited, and left the room for a moment. Just as soon as she left, the lights shut down, and the karaoke stopped. There were gasps, but I knew what to expect. When the lights came back on, there was an entire stage in the center of the room where the karaoke machine was, and there was a group of ponies who were rather confused to be there. The two who were obviously the lead band members looked about, wondering how they got there. One was yellow with a brown mane and green eyes. The other was blue with a red mane and orange eyes. Pinkie Pie bounced up to the stage, and whispered a few things to them, and they immediately nodded and got ready. I leaped up to the stage and picked up a microphone. As the guitars started up, I began:

Now, Fluttershy stepped inside, having heard me begin to “rock out”. As soon as she stepped close enough, Pinkie Pie pointed the spotlight on her.

The whole time I sang, she simply stared and listened. When I was finished with the rest of the song, I dropped the microphone, leapt off the stage, and swept up Fluttershy while everypony cheered at my performance.

“It is time for our honeymoon, dear. Come.” I plopped her on my back and opened my wings. I started galloping for the door, and smashed my way through, taking flight as I did so.

“What about saying goodbye? You just left without a word!”

“Bah! We will see them tomorrow! I want to get home now.”

We arrived home in a new record time (13.4 seconds) and I landed with a quake. I pulled the key from under the doormat, quickly unlocked the door, and kicked it open. Nopony was inside, which was just how I wanted it to be. I carried Fluttershy upstairs and set her down on the bed.

“Now then allow me to remove this damnable suit. It has been constricting me all day long.” As I began to undo the tie, Fluttershy got up.

“I should probably get out of my dress, too. Give me a moment…” she trotted downstairs, likely to the bathroom, and left me alone in the room. When I was done getting my suit off, I laid down on the bed to wait for my new bride.

‘Ah, yes… Things are looking up, if I do say so myself.’ I closed my eyes and waited. Suddenly, I heard a rather seductive voice whisper from in front of me:

“Are you ready for some fun, honey?” I slowly cracked open one eye, but both quickly flew open from the sight I saw.

Even in the dim moonlight I could clearly see that Fluttershy was wearing her “gift” from Whitewash. It was a skin-tight leather suit that gleamed in the light. She wore a facemask that covered her head excluding her eyes and mane. Her tail flowed out from behind her as well, and the pink contrasted the black in a… interesting way. She stood on her hind legs, and was carrying a pair of hoofcuffs in one hoof, a gag in the other, and she had a whip slung over her shoulder.

“Oh myy…” was all I could say before she tackled me. It was to be one hellova honeymoon.

Author's Notes:

THE ITALICS, OH GOD THE ITALICS. SHOOT ME NOW. Still, a fun chapter to write. I hope you enjoyed it...
Now the fun part. Finding all of the references this Act. Hint-hint, there is FORTY SIX of 'em. Have fun!