Chapter 16: Cooking with Pinkie

Pinkie was a silly girl; that much was rather apparent. From the time she received her cutie mark, she had always been the happy-go-lucky, physics defying, party maniac, silly girl. But in the end, was that a bad thing? Of course, her immediate friends would all unanimously agree that it wasn't at all, even though sometimes her eccentricity could get in the way. Pinkie Pie knew when to be serious though, and she essentially milked what she was able to, given the situation. However, as Pinkie grew up and matured, her personality did little to change, save for the age group she pandered to with her silliness. Naturally, her body filled out as well, despite the gargantuan amount of sweets she was known to consume. Of course, for many guys she had come to know, they were immediately able to overlook her quirks after they looked over her.

Pinkie Pie may have been silly and over-the-top with her personality, but what she was not (many made this mistake and paid dearly for it), was naïve, nor stupid. She knew she was attractive… beautiful at that; not that she cared what other people thought of her anyway, and that is what also made her even more attractive: She simply gave zero fucks. You cannot legally, in accordance with international law, divide by the number of fucks she gave. Naturally, it would come as no surprise that she would have a little… experience, for lack of better words. Was she loose? Not in the slightest. She had had about three boyfriends in her notable past, to which she had been moderately intimate with two of them. Either way, when she was able, she was enormously successful at flirting. She never acted too terribly around those whom she would have met moments ago (aside from her usual bubbliness), but if she was legitimately interested in someone, then the game changed a bit. She was no fool, and she knew what guys enjoyed in terms of what they could observe.

Her flirtatious behavior ranged from mere overindulgence in conversation and subtle contact to full blown provocative movements and sultry gestures… 'flirting,' as previously stated, and by the Elements she was good at it… very good. Unfortunately, Helmuth had no prior knowledge insofar as to how good she actually was.

"Alright, Pinkie… what sort of foods are we gonna make this morning?" Helm asked curiously while grabbing a glass of water. Pinkie beamed:

"Ooh! All sorts of goodies and treats! Cupcakes, pancakes, donuts… cream pies…" she listed, adding odd inflection to the last word. Helm choked on his water almost violently.

"I'm… what was the last one?" he asked. Pinkie giggled.

"Donuts, silly! Now, I'll be back in a jiffy. Gotta change into something more 'bake-alicious!" she shouted before zipping off to her room, still giggling. Helm watched her go with his jaw slightly slacked. He then shook himself out of the stupor and silently wondered where the others were. Probably doing their own things and/or still sleeping from last night. He was getting that apprehensive feeling again with a bunch of thoughts running through his head, but he really had little right to be. He did feel that he owed Pinkie a chance in spending some quality time together, even if she may be a bit more… forward.

Soon enough, Pinkie returned with a few other materials in her hands, also being adorned with what looked like an apron. Suitable attire indeed. As she passed by him she bumped him in his posterior with her own hip. He couldn't help but giggle a bit as well… her laughter was contagious! Maybe it wouldn't be so bad after all… That was until she set things on the counter and he caught a glimpse at her back side. Where the apron was tied, her back was completely bare, save for the short shorts she was wearing and the back harness of what looked like a very pink bra. His eyes were immediately drawn to that as well as the rather profound lower back dimples she had.

You… you're kidding me… this is uncanny

Pinkie had happened to glance back right as he turned away, lowering her eyelids half way and smugly grinning.

"Alrighty! Helmie, can you mix the preliminary ingredients into the large mixing bowl, we're gonna start with the cupcakes first! I'll prepare the frosting!" she said hyperactively. He did as he was told, following her close instruction, and mixed what he was able to as perfect precision as he could muster. He had to admit, the small noises, combined with the casual conversation with Pinkie and the overall act made this experience rather relaxing at this point.

Maybe I should take up cooking…

"Frosting's done!" Pinkie had shouted, dragging him out of his thoughts. She had stuffed the batch of frosting into one of those bag-like frosting dispensers that was used for decorating cakes.

"Awesome! What flavor is it?" Helm asked. Pinkie then turned around and presented him the end of the dispenser.

"Why don't you find out for yourself?" she asked in a bedroom voice and lowering her eyelids once more. Not hearing any objection from him, she moved closer and pressed him up against the counter, pressing her body into him. She then squeezed a little bit on her finger and presented that to his mouth, their gazes never leaving each other. He gulped in nervousness as her finger laced with frosting prodded entrance into his mouth.

Keep it together, Helm… Oh who am I kidding, this is kinda hot, I guess

He accepted the gift nigh reluctantly and savored the taste of the frosting on her finger. Pinkie felt the need to giggle in a sign of approval. After a couple of seconds, she withdrew her finger.

"V-Vanilla …" he commented. Pinkie beamed.

"Yupperooni!" Pinkie exclaimed, removing her weight from his own. She then stared at the dispenser for a bit, contemplating if she wanted a taste. Deciding yes, she lifted the frosting dispenser up to her mouth and was sure to squeeze a bit, opening her mouth more than what was necessary, shooting a subtle gaze at Helm. Now, Helm may not have been the brightest when reading women, but he was more than sure that she was just trying to get him flustered… yet he found himself unable to look away.

Why me…?

When Pinkie was sure that he had his attention, she 'accidentally' squeezed too tight, suddenly expelling a sizeable amount of frosting into her mouth as well as on her lips and chin… she even had the audacity to giggle innocently.

"I guess I don't know my own strength!" she said, still gazing at him with bedroom eyes. In Helmuth's case, 'brain.exe' had failed miserably and he was still trying to comprehend the sight in front of him. Eventually, his mind was working once more… but under major pressure. The temperature in the room was increasing yet again, his clothes felt tighter, and his brain function was limited due to blood rushing elsewhere involuntarily. The average guy would have probably jumped the girl already.

Deep breaths… keep it together.

"Alright! These are going in the oven, so we'll work on the donuts. You wanna put the icing on 'em?" Pinkie asked suddenly, drawing him out of his stupor.

"Do I want to wah?" he asked her to repeat.

"Do you want to ice my donuts?" she asked innocently. Helmuth, in all honesty, didn't have the willpower to react anymore since most of it was being used to prevent further embarrassment on his part.

Know what? I'll just play along. Not much else I can do. Let's see where this leads.

"Oh you know it," he replied with a slightly playful inflection in his voice. His problem was not with speaking with women, but rather dealing with those who were relatively more forward than what may have been considered socially acceptable. Nothing wrong with flirting, right?

Pinkie giggled back and slapped him playfully on his shoulder as if 'scolding' him for his comment. He then brought his hand up to his chest and gasped, feigning being insulted.

"What's wrong? Can't take what you dish out?" he playfully quipped. Pinkie feigned innocence as well.

"What did I ever do to you, Helmie?" she also had the lady-balls to bat her eyelashes while turning around to mix some ingredients, giving him more than another eyeful of her backside. Was this quickly becoming a 'fluster' match?

"You're trying to tease the living hell out of me!" he said with an accusing finger pointing towards her, but of course he never raised his voice to an offending level. After all, this was all in play. Pinkie turned around with a smug smile.

"Trying?" she said with incredulous inflection in her usual bubbly voice. Helm opened his mouth and held his finger out in an attempt to retort but suddenly realized he couldn't come back to that. Pinkie capitalized on this immediately.

"What's wrong Helmie? Cat got your tongue? Well… if you think about it we could make that true right now…" she asked pensively, putting her finger to her chin and looking up in thought. Helm got the insinuation immediately and couldn't help but color slightly. He had to hold the urge to laugh as well.

"Silly billy… don't lie to yourself," her voice then took on a more playfully malicious tone. "That just means you liked it!"

"Um… uh… well that's… eh," he attempted to say a coherent sentence while he tugged at his shirt collar.

He couldn't come back to that either. He loved it. Well, he wanted to love it in his own mind. His mind was saying that this was wrong but his body was saying "wreck that ass." Pinkie giggled once more, as if she could read his mind, before sauntering over to him, putting extra emphasis on her hips as she walked. Once again, he found himself not able to speak, nor turn away.

"You know, Helm, the other girls tell me I'm a teasie-butt… but that's only with people I like and mainly just to grab their attention. I only just met you yesterday but I already know that you're wonderful. You're caring, strong, smart, bold, and a sexy-sexy-pants… the other girls agree and even Luna has commented once or twice about you. What's there not to like?" she explained as she reached him, her arms in front of her and connected at the hands, amplifying her chest area. Helmuth was processing all this information, but he still didn't like being lavished with this attention, even if it was every guy's dream.

"Also… personally," she continued, albeit accompanying her words with the action of hugging his torso vertically, her breasts squeezing themselves into his right arm. He stiffened at that action… probably in more ways than one. She leaned her mouth under his ear.

"…I have a soft spot for men in uniform. You can take that statement however you want…" she whispered and left plenty of room for innuendo while breathing heavily in his ear.

Oh god…

Pinkie then just burst out laughing, easing the situation a bit.

"Oh Helmie, I'm sorry if I'm making you uncomfortable it's just… you're too fun to flirt with because you're too much of a riggy rigid pants! Loosen up a bit!" She then held her arms open as if expecting something. Helmuth looked questioningly, his brain function still slowly returning to him.

"Wah?"

"Well, come on! Gimme a hug, silly!" she said, offering a gesture of 'peace.' He laughed lightly before returning her embrace heartily, realizing that he had been played… somewhat. Not that he was complaining… it was merely the exposure that was truly uncomfortable. Pinkie giggled again… there's a pattern that when she laughs, something goes wrong.

"You're doing it wrong! The hand goes here!" Pinkie announced as she moved one of Helm's hands from her lower back to her ass, making sure he groped it well. His eyes widened at the new sensation, an another million thoughts were running through his head:

Why did she do this?

How did she easily break my resolve?

Why is my hand still on her ass?

Why does it feel so firm and set, yet nice and squishy?

Why did I just say that in my mind?

His thoughts were interrupted when Pinkie busted out laughing again. He had to admit that he enjoyed the 'experience,' although he'd much prefer a more subtle approach. No matter. What was done is done, and nothing was ruined as a result, so, he felt the need to laugh at the situation as well. After they died down to giggles, the two realized that they were still ensnared in a hug. With all being quiet, Helmuth took time to actually look at the girl that he had his arms around right now: Indeed, more than the average girl to handle with her, but even so. She was gorgeous in her own rite, and who doesn't like a girl who can cook? Pinkie herself had calmed down and happily looked up at the Royal Guard with a grin. She then rested her head on his chest as she used some momentum to rock them back and forth.

"You're a good sport and a wonderful guy… and thanks for putting up with me. Well, my overall personality and not just the flirting. Many find it off-putting. So once again, Helmie…" Pinkie began before she planted a couple-second kiss on his cheek, causing him to once again widen his eyes and color… jeez it was like he was a child again in elementary when girls had cooties. Pinkie then hugged him once more.

"… thanks a bunch! Now, the cupcakes are done. Help me get them out and put the donuts in," she said as she removed herself from him and went to the oven, reverting back to her chipper self without going over-the-top. Helm silently chuckled at her antics.

"Right behind ya," he commented. And so the two continued fixing up the treats and having pleasant conversation along the way, not to mention a few 'accidents,' with frosting, icing, and what not that lead to messes being made as well as a few other lewd gestures. Soon enough, their work was done and the kitchen was cleaned. Pinkie went her own way, telling him that she needed to properly dress herself for the day and took off the apron as she disappeared, giving poor Helm, one again, even more of an eyeful of nice candy. Before he could disappear and do whatever, a lovely voice caught him in the living room:

"Hey there, Darling!" the ever beautiful Rarity called out. Helm turned around to meet the pajama-clad fashionista face to face.

"Good morning, Rarity!" he replied, happy to see another face.

"Likewise to you as well, Helm, but I'll get straight to the point. I was reading up on some other things to do and I was wondering if you would do me the honor of accompanying me to a late night at the Swing Club tomorrow night. They're having a live band perform and it would be most lovely to have some company. The type of music isn't the other girls' style and Luna has diplomatic work to do tomorrow as well… so… would you be up to it?" she asked, batting her eyelashes effectively. Seriously, who could say 'no' to that face… or that body, sheesh. Regardless, Helm liked swing style music and was a night person as well. Why the hell not?

"Sure! I'd be more than happy to! Just give me the rest of the details whenever you feel like it."

"Of course, handsome. Now, I believe Luna has some relaxing things planned today so you might want to go clean yourself up, I as well."

"Yeah, you're probably right. Very well then. I'll see you in a little bit, and I look forward to tomorrow," he said with a smile.

"Indeed. I look forward to it as well! Ta ta!" she said over her shoulder with a wave as she sauntered away. Helmuth let out a large sigh and trekked back to his room, deciding a shower would be more than ideal right now.

He passed by Luna who was sitting in a lotus position on her bed, reviewing some royal documents. She looked up over the brim of the papers and locked eyes with Helm… it was inherently clear that she heard the commotion in the kitchen.

"Shut up, Luna," Helm said without giving it a second thought. Luna only smiled and chuckled through her breath.

"Was not going to say anything," she replied with an amused smile on her face, turning back to her papers and writing something down.

"Uh-huh. I'm sure I'll hear from you later. I always do. Now, I'm going in the shower," Helm said while taking his shirt off and tossing it to his bed. Luna nodded without looking up from her papers as he entered the bathroom and locked the door. He turned the water dial nice and hot and allowed the amply tempered water to purify his epidermis, cleansing it thoroughly. He let out a large exhale, signifying his comfort. He opened his teal eyes and oddly looked at his hand, curling some of his fingers before a thought entered his head… and he muttered only one thing under his breath:

"That… ASS!"